Should I: Eat Kali Muscle's High Calorie Ramen
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- Опубліковано 5 лют 2025
- I realized my cat is meowing in the background near the end, poor thing has to go to the vet tomorrow for bloodwork and teeth cleaning so she cant eat or drink tonight. Anyway I thought this was probably the funniest video to do so far, I especially had fun mocking how hilariously bad I look in a wife beater but that's besides the point. I think I'm going to keep my stat allocation out of strength/endurance/int and leave it in just wisdom and maybe charisma with some dex.
Honestly though, I am a poor eater, I only really eat when I feel like it, which is 1 big meal a day and some small ones. If I don't trick myself into having a big meal and just have a small one instead and I have a sense that I ate I can usually go 24 hours without eating again. It's weird but I get frustrated if I get interrupted while eating which happens a whole lot, for example if I make pizza and I only have enough time to eat 1 piece instead of filling up (which is usually 3-4 pieces for either half sheet/18 inch) I just feel like shit and don't feel like eating and I get really pissed. I also get fucking HANGRY if I don't eat when I want to as well. I got a bit off track but anyway:
Kali's Original Video here: • Cooking A High Calorie...
Big Ups to Birchall for the onion cutting: • Video
3:26 almost got me.
first i didnt get what you meant, then i turned up the volume and it actually got me
@everyone) be like
W4FF3LM4N i dont get it?
Bana Potato background discord sound probably.
Lx Ix oh
my kidney would be more swole than my muscles at this point
Yes. Your one remaining kidney.
@@barrackhussein464 hey don't make fun of him when you use the wrong your!!
swole cholesterol
@@barrackhussein464 check yourself 🤣🤣
They used the right 'your'. 'You're' is shorthand for 'you are'. How does that work?🤦🏾♂️
Edit: Nvm...my bad...I just saw the edit.
Your comment made me gigle in a way that made my buddy sure our dog was crying.
This whole series feels like some kind of found footage horror film, and I love it.
He’s totally doing this against his will. Who would voluntarily make something like this, even for views?
Still, the Kay and Jack stuff is worse.
In a pizza kitchen no less, that ominous hum is unmistakable
More like found foodage horror film.
Cali Cunningham He’s literally the Steve Brule of cooking without being slowed down by poisoned raisins. All his videos feel like he sneaks into some restaurant’s kitchen to shoot these.
It is he died 5 years ago from eating the thing he's gonna eat 5 videos from now
This is like a documentary that shows how a man successfully killed himself
> oysters, tuna, mayo, apple juice and ramen in the same dish
Absolutely disgusting, vile
*I concur, utterly repulsive.*
Fruit and shellfish I don't think so. Fucking horribad
Citrus works, apple not so much
might not be that bad without the ramen and apple juice. could probably throw in some anchovies and various spices, change the mayonnaise to one that's actually good and i would put that on some bread and eat it.
VILE! VIIIILE!!!
By watching this, my lifespan has been reduced by fifteen years.
Well at least it's not 25 to life
I’ll try watching this 4x
I'm going into cardiac arrest as I type this
@@Humalkeisari LMFAO
For some reason this makes me think of a cheat day meal for someone whose taste buds have been annihilated by prison slop.
Dude even prisoners would gag at the thought of this.
Amberlynn Reid?
@@SilvaDreams a starving, abused african child soldier would refuse to eat this. It's that bad. Even an agonized, impoverished, starving child would absolutely refuse to eat this goddamn nutrient paste.
Prisoners actually know how to make some good junk food lmao search up prison recipes
Gavin Dillon chill out it ain’t that bad I actually tried it and ate all of it the oysters were hard to get down but the rest wasn’t that bad it tasted sweet and smellier like mustard
>Thumbnail says "god no"
Yep, this is gonna be good. Big ups muscle man
Big ups tiny faced fat man game developer
@@buffoonustroglodytus4688 lol
Just the ingredients involved together is heresy
Never heard of dessert ramen I take it.
The reason is because it was invented in prison and this is some of the limited stuff you can get.
Well ofcourse it tastes like crap you didn't use chunk lite tuna.
Albacore baby
Coolerthan Afrieza oysters wit it is bomb asl if you don’t like it that’s yo opinion
it seems that almost everyone missed the lactose intolerant mayo reference and keeps calling him out for just quoting Kali
There's no lactose in mayo, it's literally egg and oil.
I think also a little vinegar but yeah ur right
@@Retrofilms No there's no vinegar in mayo, just what he said and pepper/salt, but in all the Americans mutans products Idk
or swap the oil for mustard and don't forget the vinegar or else it is a bland egg sauce
@@Viroyl surely if you added mustard you'd still need oil?
@@specimenskitz All mayo has an acid element, usually vinegar commercially (lemon's better if you're making homemade tho). Usually has mustard to help it emulsify.
that is a beautifully sharp knife, I'm proud of the progression
"My mind is like a prison of my own making" I can relate to that on to many levels.
Facts
It's true. If a fish had been given my body it would probably be more productive
I think my favorite part of all these videos is that the dude is making these clearly horrifying dishes with a purely straight face, like, "Yep, gonna dump a ton of mayo and oysters into this ramen, anyway, how's the weather?"
This man sacrifices his insides for our entertainment.
If I could subscribe again, I would.
I need you to say "I really hate eating a whole Carolina Reaper" in your next video
The only thing high about this high-calorie dish would be my blood pressure after eating it
That's actually 4,320mg of salt in ramen alone and have you seen life of boris cooking tutorials
Should he do plov or the potato salad?
Potato make you strong, like Slav!
No joke I'm wearing a hat I bought from Boris' merch store right now
@@mollymillions6586 blins, or chebureki
4 grams of salt
Ramen is literally Just salt and fat. At least the cheapest of the already cheap food that is ramen
The fact that he’s making ramen in a plastic bin..
He in jail, thats all he got! 🤣🤣
Can't have glass bowls in prison, why have em on the outside?
I actually hate how I'm tempted to try this on a smaller level out of pure disgust for my own existence.
Same
Go big or go home
Use canned chicken andr slim Jim's instead of the tuna and oysters and dill pickle instead of sweet and sugar instead of honey and ketchup instead of mustard it's good af, and wrap it in a tortilla
Ryan Shiver what the fuck?
@Jesse Pinkman dont be scared homie 😂
The 31k sub ongyon cooter
-OHHH IM COOOTING
-Eyes are completely red from crying
-Knife is as blunt as a mace
I'm gonna COOOOOT
Why am I reading this in Jobel's voice
@Vinluv Handesbuk he is a running gag
I'm glad I stumbled onto this channel, came for DSP Sauce, stayed for ongyon
"Hopefully you ain't lactose intolerant when you doing this mayonnaise" Who's going to tell him?
assuming he is quoting kali muscle i aint sayin shit
The Rampart I mean, I wouldn’t be surprised if there milkproducts in commercial mayonnaise
He probably got swole as fuck after he ate that meal so you probably shouldn't say shit
“Kah-Lee” like he’s some kind of Egyptian god lmao
I cant stop watching this series, so humble yet so enjoyable to watch. Keep it up ily
He reminds me of old school youtube. ❤️
“Careful chirren thats a lot of sodium”
This is hands down one of funniest pieces of film I’ve ever layed my eyes upon and will never forget this. Thank you
"Doctors don't have muscle"
Coach Greg: am I a joke to you?
Did not know about him, he seems pretty cool
"I am not a doctor" - Dr. Greg Doucette
As soon as I saw the "God no" on your thumbnail, I knew I had to watch
"God no" perfectly encapsulates all these recipes
"Im surprise there isnt peanutbutter or chocolate in it"
_Whats stopping you? Gotta get those calories for maximum swoleness_
bro i love how much detail he is paying attention to in all of these, doing and saying all that funny crap and he makes it seem so legit lmao
bruh, yo i'm dying this is the best one you've done yet... YOU TRYIN TO GET SWOLE. gotta eat this while downing some HYPHY MUD DRANK.
Liturgy? It's gay!
Oh fuck it's HBM!!! I didn't think you've be watching this kind of stuff.
@@IzunaDropScroll I always watch the should I series.
@@MatthewsGauss Should I try: Liturdgy The Barf Work or Asstodicka. *NO*
Yo lowkey wanna try some HYPHY MUDD
My blood pressure skyrocketed just from watching this. Great vids!
the little smile he does before nearly gagging his guts out always got me
I remember when i first saw the Kali video. I was so young that I believed he was really in prison showing me how to get swole hahahahahaha amazing video and i love the sarcasm
700mg sodium >per serving< , 2 servings in the bag. So a nice 1,4 grams of salt per package, ouch.
Is that with or without the flavor packet? Because that packet is a nasty little beast.
@@FoxtrotMouse with
Exactly!
Cooking with Chuck Bashem should have really been picked up by a tv station.
I think it would have been pretty entertaining
Breaking up ramen.
No wonder he's in jail.
looks jailhouse AF lol good work man
I could've sworn Khali Muscle died or went back to jail or something.
Also you still taking onion cutting videos?
Yes send them to my email shouldiseries@gmail.com
@@ShouldISeries I should've known you'd want more videos to feed your sick disgusting onion mutilation fetish.
He stopped doing the steroids which he always denied taking, thus lost a lot of size because he stopped taking the steroids he says he wasn't doing. lmao.
Your profile picture is glorious
You're thinking of are god and savior Rich Piana
BIRCHALL MY DUDE YOUR ONION CUTTING SKILLS ARE LIKE NO OTHER. YOU LEGEND
I can only imagine how much the person who would make this unironically *DESPISES* food on an existential level. This is suffering.
If you’re in prison and kali hands you a bowl of mystery ramen you better eat it with a straight face
This feels like someone buying a bunch of seafood and realizing they don't have a recipe to use it in
I think that tuna would have been better if it was used to make Markus Ruhl's (in)famous 'Thunfisch Proteinshake'.
That's where the R E A L G A I N S are at.
"Hopefully you aint lactose intolerant when ya doing this mayonnaise"
Literally eggs and oil
Exactly this
Exactly my thought.
He's quoting Kali Muscle, it's a joke.
@@MiaoNya This makes it so much funnier hahah
@@TheMadGooseWizard you should watch the original by Kali, it's absolutely hilarious if you enjoy it ironically
Man I was just watching your videos hoping you’d post one today. I really didn’t expect this masterpiece tho. Thank you so much for this
Soon as I saw those ingredients I knew it was prison food lmao
I dunno, if you have the ingredients to make this, you have the ingredients to make beef ramen, AND tuna with mayo. Wouldn't the prisoners rather eat those?
DocIncredible they’ve probably already eaten both hundreds of times and they have all the time in the world. so to them why not
@@JMarcus52 I've eaten both hundreds of times as well, and have all the time in the world myself, and I would never even consider making this, even as a joke for a youtube video.
I nearly died when you said you might become the salt. I am now subbed, sir!
Imagine using mayo to make something soupy, Jesus Christ my arteries
my intestines just hurt from looking at that horrid scene
Glad to see this channel finally gaining some well deserved traction
i can't wait for colab between should i series and ordinary sausage 🔥🔥🔥
Maybe sometime, if he ever reaches out or if I figure out something funny to reach out to him if he's ever interested
I really don't know how i first found your videos, but i simply love them
Glad you do, thanks for watching
Should I make prison food?
*God, no*
yes!!! thank you for another upload, I love your attitude and the recipes you try!
This is a dish in prisons and county jails, we call it “swolls” and I don’t know about the honey and relish but everything else is usually there and I think you’d like it without them. Kali is serious
We called em “spread”. Usually we put the ramen “spread” on top of buttered bread and eat it like a damn taco lol
LOL, this can't be real. You just got me subbed!
"Drs don't look like Kali muscle" amen brother
Fasting today, this vid helped me stay on track. Enjoy your vids, keep doing it man!
I’ve made this and I have to say it’s not as bad as it looks it tastes really nice especially with the sweetness of the honey combined with tartness of the Mayo
I don't like any of the taste in it, but I'm happy several people had this or a variation and had opinions on it.
This was a rollercoaster of emotions. Why you took a second bite will never be known .
Could you make some of AthleanX's (Jeff Cavaliere) recipes?
I'm curious as to what you think about the 7 egg whites with salsa and pumpkin oatmeal
Love your videos by the way ongyun man
actually the pumpkin oatmeal is not bad at all, but i had only ever cooked it with water and never added and sweeteners or whipped cream, should be fine with them added. also the other thing is just egg and salsa, it's not really that crazy.
@@testtest-ol3yi yeah I don't mind them personally
I haven't had it with pumpkin but I like oatmeal, and I eat lots of eggs and stuff but rarely spicy food because I don't enjoy it.
But imagine the farts if you ate Jeff's breakfast everyday
@@boktorinator693 my diet is just oats, peanut butter, whey, and vegetables so i feel that pain. they smell AWFUL.
DSP reference? GG, subscribed
I made it a couple of times, I didn't think it was that bad. Salty AF and probably not something you want to eat on a regular basis but I somewhat enjoyed it. Maybe you didn't put enough honey in it?
Dude you funny af I’m dying laughing 😂
It's really not that bad although when I was locked up I never put the relish and oysters in it but trust me that is top tier food compared to the slop they give you
big drip 💦
the best thing to come out youtubes recommended in a long time
“My mind is a prison” honestly, same 😭😂
I thought the title said “High Quality Ramen”
I got what I came for
You should try Tyrone the fitness addict homemade protein smoothies
I think I watched this before and it seemed like a lot of random ingrediants, but Ill take a look again thanks for the rec
poor guy will die from salmonella
Have some mercy!!!
I used to eat beef ramen with lemon pepper tuna and brown mustard mixed in. From what I remember, it was good. I still put mustard in my Ramen today.
I always mix tuna in my ramen, I don’t put any of that other stuff tho.
Exactly! Good protein and carbs💪🏼
I usually add an egg and veggies to it.
I love your videos. You're a saint for trying to eat these things that I would never go near.
Big ups to TheGuyShow84.
Idk if you'll see this but if you do we all love your videos bro keep it up man ur appreciated
People who cook all the chew and bounce out of their noodles probably like their steak well-done, too.
That DSP name drop.. you sir just got a new sub
How about a Prison Burrito? I've heard it's actually not that bad.
As a person with experience I'll vouch to that claim
A quick google search and it doesn't sound bad actually
YES IVE BEEN WAITING ALL WEEK FOR THIS !!
IM SO HIGH THE NOODLES LOOK LIKE MAGGOTS LMAO
I watched this kali video years ago, and waited for someone to try this. Thank you
You're welcome, hope it was ufunny. If you try it yourself let me know what you think too
Should I Series your thumbnail convinced me, I don’t think I’d cope with the smell let alone taste😅
“Only has 720 milligrams”
Dude, that was for half the package. That thing has 4320 milligrams of sodium from the ramen alone. That’s about an entire tablespoon of salt. Salt is only about 39% sodium by weight. This is eleven grams of salt.
He’s clearly joking and is aware of how much sodium there is
Surafel Geleta if I’m being honest, I really can’t tell if he’s joking sometimes.
Surafel Geleta No. He legitimately didn’t realize that was half a serving. He might’ve been joking about 2g being fine (cause thats still a lot for 1 meal lol) but he even says in the comments here that he didn’t realize until he read the comments
I swear to god I feel like you made this video in 2008.... not cause of the quality but it just the vibe I’m getting
in prison youll be starving and this would taste like heaven
Oh hell no. I could see mayo, tuna or oysters... But the rest of it.. *shudders*
Yeah the guy making this looked huge. I bet he needs a lot of calories per day and on the cheap. He doesn't care what it tastes like, it just need to give him nutrients.
I can't thumbs up this video enough times
The tuna you get in prison comes in a pouch.
One of the best channels on UA-cam
Your commentary made me crack up, your body type looks EXACTLY like mine. I look at your forearm in some videos and wonder if I’m filming.
maybe taking out the sweet relish, mustard, and honey would make it better, or maybe instead of putting the mayo in, put in the mustard.
the tuna seems fine to have in, but probably make it more smaller pieces of it, and maybe like 2 spoons of peanut butter would help it.
also maybe change the oysters to like a bbq flavored sardines, or try to find some type of bbq flavored oysters
i have no idea how i get to this video, but i just realized that i actually watch 3 videos with the price of one. so i am more then happy to take this deal.
did this dude really recorded this all at his jobs kitchen what a legend
I wasn't expecting that ramen packet to make such a low, deep THUNK when it was casually tossed 10 seconds into the video. Not even out of the packaging and it already sounds as heavy as you'd be after all those GAINS, BROTHA.
I have a great tip for you bro,because I know what you are after. Try using peanutbutter in your chocolate protein shakes. Before you put your powder in use room temp water and break all the creamy peanut butter down. Add on chocolate protein powder i used to use dramatize but its expensive now, use syntha 6 chocolate milkshake and if you need more calories you can throw in melted vanilla ice cream for some good times, also snack between meals 2 boiled eggs or like a pack of Duke sausage jerky is fine you'll gain i promise.
Thanks for the tip
If Kali caught you he'd pull you in half for a Mortal Kombat finish. This video was horrific, best yet!
Hahahahahahaha why did it take so long for someone to do this unbelievable Jeff!
i feel like this is gonna come back to me in 7 years.
first halway decent ongiong cutting vid i have seen on this channel
This is the content ive been waiting for
This is like the last good meal before trial that your bound to lose