How To Stop Feeling Insecure In Your Relationships | Fearful Avoidant Attachment Style
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- Опубліковано 14 жов 2024
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I’m Thais Gibson, welcome to my channel and thank you for stopping by!
This is a channel designed for you, to be used as a resource to create lasting transformation in your personal and professional life. Here you’ll receive an ongoing series of personal development and spiritual growth videos for you to expand your awareness and find resolution and deep understanding within.
Want to transform your life? If I did it, I know you can too!
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My experience is that most people either criticize or reject me once I show my insecurities.
Oh my gosh I was literally saying, “I’m not insecure in relationships !!!” And then you semi quoted me and dropped the facts !!! Haha okay… I’ll sit down now and listen lol
You blew my mind again ! You’re absolutely right about the perfectionism and not getting beyond the honeymoon phase and feeling like you have to prove yourself. I feel like you’ve jumped in my brain and sorted it for me. ❤️
Fuuuuuuck. I've had a very good steady 6 months of not needing to come to these videos. Now I've felt so triggered for a couple of weeks now . I came bacj and in this video Thais once again spoke straight to my soul. I'm a FA in front of a new relationship shift (moved together a couple months ago). Thank you. I absolutely believe my worth for love is connected to my 150% effort. This needs to change. Thank you.
I feel like going back into a shell again because I felt safer. I'm scared as heck 😆 🤣 😂 this video helped a lot
Thank you
I like how inner fears was changed to interferes in the CC
Damn that made me feel exposed. Since working on abandonment issues I've been able to get enough of a grip on the anxiety that I'd call myself mostly secure, but yeah, trust is where I still and have always missed the mark. But I do feel I'm being vulnerable when asking my new DA partner (month dating, so partner to me, not to him as yet) if he's seeing anyone else. We haven't been physical yet, and I just don't like being challenged in that scope for trust. Truly, though, commitment is my big fear point. I've only been able to commit to associate degrees because it's just too scary to commit to 4 years.
I just recently discovered that I’m a fearful avoidant in relationships. Your videos are so helpful and applicable! Thank you ✨
Thank you for all the helpful videos. I recently started seeing somebody who is a more securely attached person. She's been really great about making me feel like I am able to be vulnerable and that's something I've been doing pretty good with compared to how I used to be. But I still feel hesitation sometimes because I'm not really sure what to talk about or when to say it.
Thank you, your videos have been a great catalyst for change.
I’m glad you put this video out. I’m a AA. My DA just got a new job. So I’m feeling insecure. Can you do a video on relationships and job changes. I live with DA. I’m going to Journal and reprogram my mind. I’m would like to know what to expect with myself as AA and with my DA. So we can thrive and be supportive of one another on getting through this new chapter in our lives.
I’m a FA, but NEVER consciously felt threatened that he would betray me. Together 30 years, 3kids. Looking back (I’m unfortunately stuck there for now) I’ve learned he’s a DA, AND Asperger, AND was a long term pornography addict. My world, which admittedly was difficult already (considering undiagnosed autism, and addiction on top of insecure attachment-or because of insecure attachment) has crumbled due to BETRAYAL. I’d bet There’s a super high % of men that fit the DA-Asperger-Porn Addict profile as concurrent issues.
I love this video it is so helpful thank you ❤
Wow. Thanks. This video felt like a lifeline
Could you do a video on what to do when people say you are crazy about something you said or did. As an FA who is healing but still have some emotional highs and lows this always makes me feel bad and insecure. So many men say that to women its really upsetting.
I am such a huge fan of your videos! This one really spoke to me!! Thank you so much for this information!
I needed this today! Thank you!!
Thanks for your comment Kelly :)
-PDS team member
Your content is so useful! I’ve only recently discovered I’m fearful avoidant and everything you say is spot on.
Your video came at the perfect time, it’s mind blowing how accurate this is.. Thank you so much for sharing ❤️
This was 100% me for years...
Thank you, Thais
Yes!!! It's like I finally learned to start speaking up for myself and expressing my hurt feelings and my needs and then when my partner can't hear or validate them, it shuts me right down again
I think that means that's not the right partner for you
It could just be communication issues. Some people communicate in very different ways. It can be frustrating but ask if your partner understands each major point you make and have them paraphrase. That way you can find where the disconnect is happening. Then find another way to say it so your partner understands.
@@Joy_736 That could be the case, I think, but it doesn't have to be. If someone is willing, it's worth trying out different things first.
@@jesh879 this could be helpful, thank you. sometimes it's not so much that the intellectual understanding is lacking, but emotionally they can't meet you where you are. it can come off as if they don't get the intensity of the feeling you are experiencing. it's hard to explain, but i guess it comes down to attunement, having someone be with you in the feeling while still holding on to their own more stable state.
what i'll try in the future is to move slowly with the vulnerabilities i share, and also, before i share them, to introduce the topic and ask for them to be present ("this feels very vulnerable to share, could you just listen and be here with me?")
Thanks Thais!! Gotta check out the trust course
Can there be a video about how to figure it what kind of partner best suits you?
The best partner for anyone is a secure partner.
@@jesh879 I meant how to evaluate qualities that would best suit you. For example, some may need someone who is more levelheaded while others needs someone for passionate and fierce.
@@abby4027 those answers come from within. Journal about what makes you happy and what you're looking for, what triggers you, non negotiables, etc.
@@kmart1303 💕💕💕💕 Thank you!!
@@abby4027 Honestly I feel like finding someone who genuinely cares and loves you and you have mutual attraction with is all you can ask for. The other stuff you can get past with work on both of your parts. I don't try to exclude people based on my preferences. I try to find what I enjoy about each person I meet.
Preach girl… beautiful… thank you for sharing 🙏🏾😘❤️
You have reeallyyy great and important points. Could you please explain them a little slowly?
Love your ideas, Love you for being here now.
I think I am a fearful avoidant and I want so badly to practice these things and trust my partner again but he has actually lied to me in the past and I’m having a hard time letting it go. Last spring he was talking about how his friends started doing cocaine pretty much every time he hung out with them, and we would always talk about how irresponsible and dumb they were. Finally he confessed that he had been “occasionally” doing it with them the whole time. Idk if I have childhood trauma or it’s just from this relationship 😬
Thanks so much for this video !! It’s so true ! I’m working so hard to break these patterns! ❤️
Keep up the work :) its not always linear but please try and take notice of wins and changes and honour the effort you;re putting into yourself.
-PDS team member
@@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool ❤️❤️❤️
thank you so much!
Be vulnerable, but NOT naïve
Stop giving a hoot . If you don't mind it don't matter . Now you're ready for wherever they pull .
Thanks for your work, I'm really glad for having found your channel. I'm not a native english speaker and would be useful, if I can suggest, to practice speech clarity. Sometimes it's hard to understand all in the first time. (like 1:22 "or like something's wrong with them"). But your explanations are always enjoyable and helpful and I thank you so much for all the knowledge.
What if your partner sends the message you need to be perfect?
The first question I would ask is if they really meant you need to be perfect - or if you just interpreted it that way. You're already susceptible to feeling like you need to be perfect. Verify with your partner that's what they meant. If you're correct, leave. You don't need someone who puts unreasonable expectations on you. No one is perfect, and that expectation especially will make you less secure as an FA.
Am a fearful avoidant the thought of kids and marriage makes me shudder don't even mention that around me