ROCD Success Story W/ Lexi
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- Опубліковано 21 лип 2024
- In this Masterclass for the ROCD Community, we interviewed Alexi, the AIL Ambassador. As a member of the AIL ROCD Course/Community and having worked with Alexis, she spoke to the community about her journey with Relationship OCD and her awakening to bring you inspiration, motivation and hope.
0:00-0:58- Alexi's introduction
2:51-5:22- Alexi's ROCD story: When did it start? How did she feel?
5:23-8:22- When therapists trigger you
8:25-9:39 - "When did you know that ROCD is slowly decreasing?"
13:10-14:41- "What are the kinds of intrusive thoughts you find yourself ruminating over?"
14:41-15:05 - "What if I do the work, and I found out that I don't love my partner?"
16:33-16:57- "What helped her separate the ROCD thoughts from normal thoughts?"
17:39-18:19- Honey-wood idea of love
19:21-20:10- "What are the things you did to cope with being in an LDR?"
21:01-22:31 - "What are the compulsions she has while in an LDR?"
22:32-23:48 - "Do you still have these thoughts?"
24:15-25:52- Worst point of ROCD
26:44-28:47 - How Radical Compassion calms your nervous system and how it helped her
28:43-30:01- Building self trust
31:06-32:44 - Importance of doing ROCD Work
33:06-33:13- When someone says something that's triggering: That is not your truth
34:02-36:09 - Numbness, disconnections
40:10-41:53- How to handle the ROCD voice
42:47-43:46- Trusting how to identifying ROCD
45:25-47:20- Building connection with partner in LDR
As always #YANA (you are not alone), here's to being human!
RESOURCES:
» WEBSITE: AWAKENINTOLOVE.COM
» INSTAGRAM: / withawakeni. .
» ROCD FREE CHECKLIST: rocdcourse.com/the-checklist
» ROCD 2.0 COURSE & COMMUNITY: rocdcourse.com/
» WORK WITH ALEXIS: www.awakenintolove.com/coachi...
Disclaimer: All of the information listed in this channel is for informative, motivational, educational purposes only. If you are specifically looking for a licensed and professional therapist then you are welcome to work with our therapist, if not, we will refer you to someone else. Please note that this channel is not meant to diagnose you or treat a mental health disorder but serves only as education and motivation.
I told my therapist when i first met him that i was sooo scared that he would tell me to break up or that my relationship is bad. And he said ”I dont decide if your relationship is good/real or not. It’s all up to what you like, if you like to have your relationship in your way, do it. I might not like it but you might not like how i have it in my relationship. Its all about definitions. I cant answer if you are in love or not, you cant answer it by comparing your actions to others, because we all prefer different things in our relationships.” That helped me a lot!
Yes. Me. One therapist told me “you just know when you love somebody” and totally destroyed me
This man is my person. And i know it. But. I can’t take this anymore. This pain is nothing like i’ve ever felt. I just want to be 100% sure about something. I want to feel comfortable in my own body and i want to know who i truly am. But with HOCD and ROCD it’s almost impossible.
It all started about 7 to 8 months ago when me and my boyfriend started dating. This is the happiest yet most depressed i have ever been. When i’m with him, the thoughts disappear and i’m so happy. When i’m alone, the thoughts take over everything and i become a different person because of how anxious and depressed it makes me. I hate seeing other women i get so anxious because i’m terrified of being attracted. I’m not against being gay at all, but i’ve already experienced with other women and decided it wasn’t my thing but now i’m questioning everything and i just want it to end. I love him so much. i would be crushed if i wasn’t with him. I want these thoughts to stop. I can’t stand to be thinking these things anymore. I need ROCD & HOCD out of my life. Someone please help.
My ROCD started after I started therapy for anxiety. I was going through a very important process of growth in my life and my therapist would give me some messages like, after therapy people take big decisions, like sometimes changes their career or something happens. And that triggered me a lot, I thought maybe I should change my career or my whole life? Horrible. And then one day after a session my ROCD started. So it’s very complex and important to know that no all therapists are specialists on this specifically.
I am balling my eyes out right now, because in one way it is so relieving to hear and in the other way I am in a very hard low & I don't know how to get out
Thank you very much for sharing this success story! Everything Lexi said is what I am going through right now. My ROCD brain is struggling so much. I am working with a therapist and know it is so true that you need to put in the work if you want to heal.
Thank you Alexi!
Also, if you had a great childhood, this doesn’t mean you can’t be suffering with ROCD
Thank you so much love for helping your fellow sisters. I really needed to hear this today .
Thank you and we're so glad that this video has been helpful for you. By the way, we're always looking to improve our content and help you as much as possible through awakening into love. Would you be able to let us know what did you like about this video? Thank you.
-Crystal, AIL Operations Manager
Alexi is amazing!
Omg when she talked about the therapist part and him saying that we’ll see if it’s true love, i felt so relieved yet extremely triggered because my therapist said the exact same thing to me and she was like oh maybe you don’t love him and so what? That’s okay you’ll just find another one.
This was really helpful and full of insights. Thank you Alexi and Kyomi 💜
Thank you and we're so glad that this video has been helpful for you. By the way, we're always looking to improve our content and help you as much as possible through awakening into love. Would you be able to let us know what you like about it? Thank you.
-Crystal, AIL Operations Manager
am i the only one that somtimes gets thoughts like “do i see her as a friend?”
@@awakenintolovesupport4402 it was very helpful!! Would like more of this🤗
i dont do thr course but i did go therapy and was taught to sit through the moments of anxiety and trying not to find clarity or an answerr and to also “mock back to the bully”. which i do and it does help abit but i only get maybe a day or two of no rocd den a few days of it when its strong and den a few days of “better days” but is that me getting better? i havnt experienced months or weeks of no ROCD.
I used to have HOCD. I wasn’t able to leave my house for months. It lasted for about 5 years, then I got better. I have never been in a relationship before but twos yeas ago I met by current boyfriend. A few months into the relationship I started to get thoughts about not loving him. I cried and had panic attacks for a few weeks, then the thoughts went away again. I never questioned my relationship before. But now I started getting these thoughts again, they got even stronger after we had a few discussions about another girl (I also have BPD and struggle with jealousy). But the thing is that I did question the relationship for a while because he hurt me with what he did. (He didn’t cheat, I just struggle to accept that he has female friends). He just went hiking with his friend and I told him I don’t want him to go. That made me question if I want to continue like this. But then I started questioning if I am still in love with him, do I find him attractive etc. But the thing is that I compare these thoughts with my HOCD thoughts and feel like because it’s not as bad as the HOCD and if I don’t have the exact same amount of anxiety thoughts or the same typ if compulsions, that it cannot be ROCD. What if I do have ROCD but also stopped loving him. Shouldn’t I have more than one kind of compulsion? Is it normal to not feel the same amount of anxiety every time or the same amount of anxiety that I had with HOCD. I can tell myself that these are just thoughts and I am choosing to be with my BF no mattet what but that makes me question if I am doing this on purpose and that if I have doubts what if these doubts not only come from ROCD? What if I truly stopped loving him? Because when I met him I was really mentally sick and now I am so so much better and happier and am scared that I don’t need him anymore. That if I can tell myself: Yea, that’s amazing, I am now more independent. And this doesn‘t scare me, it doesn’t make me feel like when I had HOCD and thought I was gay, it doesn’t really scare me and I feel like I shouldn’t be able to acceptance this just like that. Shouldn’t I also be scared that if I find other people attractive that I don’t live my Bf anymore? Because a lot of people with ROCD seem to have that thought but I don’t. What if it‘s ROCD but I stopped loving him? And what if I can tell myself: Well then that’s the case (and this doesn’t scare me) does that mean that my ROCD is right or maybe even gone again? I used to ramble down sentences in my head when I had HOCD but I am not doing this with ROCD and that makes me feel like it’s not ROCD. I feel like there isn’t enough anxiety and that this anxiety that I might be feeling is coming because I found the truth. I do see that this sounds like obsessive thoughts but I really sometimes feel that I stopped loving him because I got better from my depression and other problems. I never wanted to stop loving him but I know that if it happens it happens and I know when it’s right. But what if it’s right what if this is the it feels right? Maybe I am finding a healthy normal. Because I used to be so attached to him, I sometimes used him as an escape because I didn’t like being home with my parents. What if my feelings are finding a middle because with BPD I used to over feel so much. Love is a choice right? I have thoughts that make me think about: Ok, maybe I do stopped loving him and this thought feels kinda right sometimes. Sometimes I can imagine leaving him but mostly because I cannot stand this situation. This thought doesn’t trigger much anxiety it just feels like an actual thought that people sometimes have when they realise it’s time to move on. I feel like that if it truly was ROCD it would trigger way more anxiety, I wouldn’t be able to just accept this... I feel like that if I can accept it and don’t feel anxiety that it’s the truth. I know this can be an ROCS thought but shouldn’t I be sure that this isn’t right. I sometimes do feel that U stopped loving him but it doesn’t feel right but also not wrong because I do not feel the same as I used to. I don’t like cuddles and I don’t feel the butterflies when hugging him. What if we are better of as friends? Shouldn’t there me massive anxiety? I look at him at feel like that he isn‘t attractive anymore. I do take medication for anxiety and depression and that made me feel numb... Does anybody have experience with ROCD and having „real“ doubt about the relationship? Do you always have massive anxiety? What is love? Is it ok to just tell yourself: I will be with my SO not matter what. I will just ignore the thoughts... I mean I felt happy with him before. But what if I truly have move on because my mental health got better? The only time I know that I love him is when I get really jealous but I am scared that if I don’t feel jealous that I am moving on from him. What if I have ROCD but also stopped loving him?
I’m struggling pretty bad too.. All i want is for this to stop and for me to be able to be free and happy. HOCD has got me so so low and depressed i don’t even know who i am anymore. How are you, are you okay??
I understand both of you. HOCD is just so heavy. I'm at the point where I don't know what I want or who I am anymore. You're not alone in this ♥️
@@sophiekirby9198 Oh, I am sorry to hear this. It can get better. Do not run away from the fear, go towards it. I believe in you. I am fighting but am ok. The hardest thing to do was to tell myself, well maybe I am not straight, so what. I learned to tell myself this over and over again and one day I was able to accept the fear. I believe in you.
@@fioridipesco Sometimes we don't have to know what we want. Things will be ok in the end. If we keep fighting, this will pass. You will get through this. The way out is the way through. Practicing acceptance was hard because it's scary but the more we try the better we will get at it and one day we are stronger than fear.
@@MyCCM13 this was so needed, thank you so much
"You don't need a reason that a relationship doesn't work"
"Everything has its reasons" UGHHHH how often have I heard this from friends? too often! The reason why I only talk about it to one person.
am i the only one that somtimes gets thoughts like “do i see her as a friend?”
joker haha you mean your significant other? If that’s what you mean then no, that is a huge thought that comes and goes for me
Christina S. Im glad to know im not the only one😅
joker haha Hey No you are not the only one! I also have this thought whether I only see him as a buddy / best friend. Then I get thoughts like "We act like friends, are we just friends? !!?" I then watch other couples to see if they behave like best friends. Total nonsense actually .. Because the partner is the best friend :)
I wish I could talk to you about my situation. There’s a way to talk to you or have a convo about ROCD?
What does disconnection mean in ROCD?
I'm curious if there's any connection between ROCD and not dating until later in life. I notice it's a lot of people in their late 20s struggling
@@jai-meee same fr
So the anxieties are gone and the thoughts doesn't bother me like before also i've started feeling a connection...but it feels like what if am I seeing him as a friend 😕..what if my love is gone..what if someday i'll push him away without any difficulties 🥺..I just hate these thoughts...i'm worrying about it questioning it trying to find a solution..i'm scared to see him as a friend ( just a friend) also i don't want to think this way...we had a fight few days back and I didn't cried ..whole day I was wondering for his calls like I used to do before..it was so annoying to spend the day without him and when he called it felt like a relief..that was the day when I felt like a connection and the thoughts stopped bothering me..but then I felt like what if im just pretending to be happy or what if im seeing him as a friend 😟😟anddd that feeling ' do I even love him ' 😟😟😟 why it happened to my 4years of relationship it never happened before 😩
I think i have rocd been panicking from breaking up with her but now my fear of breaking up with her has just gone i feel very little anxiety and rhoughts these days does this mean my love is gone for my partner?? Im scared please help me
Your fear and thoughts are gone because you did exactly what you were scared of. Someone with ROCD will typically fear losing their partner which is why you start obsessing about completely the opposite of those emotions and wonder that maybe you don’t love them at all. Once you feed into that fear (compulsions) it’ll go away, but you’ll still have ROCD. It’ll just latch on to something else. I broke up with my boyfriend at some point and I felt so calm the next day and my mind was so quiet but then I started feeling very empty and sadness over took me, I noticed that I really did love him because your fears aren’t really there to blind you anymore. I eventually called him that same day and asked to talk because I realized the mistake I did and now I vouch to myself that even if I’m wanting to leave so badly because of these thoughts that I won’t allow myself because I know deep down he means everything to me.
My mind is ruining everything. I’m so in love with him.. yet my mind keeps thinking things that just aren’t true. i’m so happy when i’m with him, then the second i leave all of these thoughts flood in and make me so depressed i can’t function right. My therapist doesn’t even understand. Someone please help. I need someone. Im sure have HOCD as well.. although i’m not diagnosed, i KNOW this is what’s wrong with me. My therapist said i don’t have ocd because i don’t turn a door knob a certain amount of times. But this.. this isn’t normal. I OBSESSIVELY think about if i’m lesbian, if i look lesbian, if i’m girly enough, if i love my boyfriend, or if i am attracted to girls. SOMEONE PLEASE HELP. I’m going insane. I know i don’t like girls, but now i can’t even go near another girl without being triggered. I love my boyfriend so much.. i want this to stop.
I can for sure say you have OCD. Keep watching these videos. I had the same about being bi sexual and once the obsessing stopped, I knew I wasn’t. Mine is the same I can’t function. I’m dealing with ROCD. It’s so hard I don’t know what’s real and what’s not
Sophie kirby yes agreed, keep watching these videos and maybe join the course community. We are all here with you and suffering in the same ways. The scariest and most nightmarish thing about ocd is not being able to tell “what’s real”. & I also have the sexuality ocd except, for me, I actually am bisexual/pansexual but will convince myself that I’m actually just a lesbian and will have a happier life with only women. (My partner is a man). You are truly not alone ❤️
Christina S. ❤️❤️ thank you we will get through it soon ☺️
Just don’t conConcentrate on the thought just ignore it for sure it’s not true and I’m facing the same exact situation and everything really relates to me to all the time I’m with him I’m happy but the point I leaveI’m getting so depressed that highlights one thing that is when we are with him we don’t have a room in our mind to think or overthink so we don’t get any sad thoughts but the moment we leave him we get space in our mind to obsessive think and I’m also still in the cycle but still I am trying my best not to give any space for those thoughts I just trust my gut and continue to love him❤️
Guys I need help. I can't stop thinking about that in reality I am in an unhealthy relationship. I am so afraid that in the end I will find out that my boyfriend is the main cause of my ROCD. Because when we first started being together after a little time we had some problems and I am afraid that we were toxic. And when I think about the "red flags" I can't help but truly believing that I've experienced them in my relationship. What if my ROCD came because my boyfriend is the probelm and in our case it didn't attack our relationship because is a loving and good one? What if in the end I'll find out that we are unhealthy together and we have to leave each other? What if in really he manipulates, abuses or thoughts me? Does the fact that I'm thinking and feelings this makes it true? I remember when we first hot together he was often jealous of me being with my friends/family, because he was afraid of losing me. Now things are different and all he wants is for me to be happy and enjoying my days no matter if they're with him or not. But does what I mentioned before about his jealously makes him toxic for me? When I think about this it just scares me to death... and I am also experiencing HOCD and I've come to a point where I costantly feel acctration and good sensations towards girls and I don't know what I want or who I am. I don't go to a therapist yet and I don't know whom I can talk to... please I need help
Notice there’s a lot of ‘what ifs’ in what you wrote. That’s classic OCD. And he is not the one cause of ROCD, you would have this problem with someone else as well IF this is what you have. See a therpist that specializes in ROCD/OCD it’ll all be oky. You can do it and you CAN be okay
Solid answer.
@@ashlynaustin4996 I've just seen this, thank you so much for your message 💞 now I am afraid that I could be the toxic one. It's like I don't know who I am anymore...
Emma Guidi I think not knowing who you are anymore is normal because that’s how I feel. I’m just numb. Numb. Numb. Numb. But that doesn’t make us toxic. I think once you talk about to your anxiety by saying “I can handle this feeling, these thoughts, urges, and emotions” and deal with the discomfort you will win
@@ashlynaustin4996 thank you so much for the support. We will get through this. We are gonna be okay. ✨
Im i the only tht during this quarantine, my rocd hasnt gone worse nor better but pretty much the same?