Lost Hope is an understatement. I’m 74, rented a condo for 19 yrs. Hurrican Milton on 10/10/23 destroyed everything I owned. The condo owner has not decided to let me re-rent in a gutted condo. I have no where to go that will rent to me on my income. My brother drove my 2017 car w/24,000 miles on it & totaled it (hit-n-run). I am on a fixed income, homeless now. My brother will not help me. I struggle daily to keep hope.
I have experienced a good life. I am 93 years old. I am in good health physically. I don't want to go on. Everynight I say "lord it would be ok with me if I don't wake up." Wake up to another day of emptiness. I have outlived my oldest daughter 3 younger brothers and two grand children and of course my parents. I have one peer left from my youth I view life as Shakespere described it "life is but a walking shadow a poor player who struts and frets his hour upon the stage and then is heard no more.
My mother is 89. She lost her son, her husband, her dear cousin who grew up with her as a sister, her grandchildren children who where taken away by foreign in-laws, many friends who were like family throughout her life. She recently moved to a beautiful senior retirement home where she now enjoys the company of many lovely peers who she shares these similar experiences with. They share their meals with one another every day and are building relationships. It has brightened her life. Would something like this be a possibility for you?
The fact that there are so many here who have lost hope completely is sobering for me but not in a good way. There are so many of us out here who feel life isn’t going to get better because it has never been better for them. We have tried to change and do other things but we have that emptiness that still exists. There are people who never been in love or never had a sustainable friendship and they are hurting out here. Mind you some people have been constantly bullied their entire lives.
You Rock Dr. Scott. Thank you for making this kind of stuff on You Tube FREE to help even us poor folks who can't afford a therapist. I don't know if that made any sense but I appreciate this channel Big Time. When I'm in these dark places it helps having some place to turn.
@@sg-zd8ebWhy would you think and say so? I am sorry but that was quite insensitive of you. I don't know about you but we are a large, global family of folks who are associated with Dr. Scott in one way or another. Kindly, be kind to all. 🙏🏻
so happy for you. And don’t worry about the nay-sayers. If the hope wanes, we find it again… this builds the muscles we need to find hope quickly. If we get good and strong at finding hope quickly, that is all we need. Congratulations for finding those muscles.
I was sexually abused when I was 5 so I’ve been like this all my life. Now at 76 I feel like I’m out of time. Have never been in therapy because the amount of money it takes is out of the question. So now I just can’t wait to leave this world. It is truly enlightening to hear a therapist who finally get it.
I missed the live so I'm watching now. I was actually cleaning my apartment because I've been neglecting things around here for a long while now. Yesterday I even cleaned my cluttered patio and put out flowers 🌼 it needed a good sweeping too and I cleaned the outside of my windows! So I'm very slowly but surely coming back to life. It feels good but I'm still not 💯
Same here. Damn, I even got the announcement, but I didn't realize it was a live stream since I was listening to music and cleaning. But at least the house is now clean. 😁
If all you did today was to get out of bed, eat something and take 5 minutes to do something towards the house, like put some of the rubbish (trash) in a bag and put it in the outside bin, then it's a win. One of my friends once told me that it's OK to celebrate the tiny thing I did that no one else noticed. If that tiny thing helped me to live life, feel joy again or built momentum towards bigger change then it was worth celebrating. I live with bipolar spectrum disorder and a list of chronic health challenges so I feel like I have had a good day if I've eaten 2 meals, had a shower and done something useful for at least 5 minutes within the last 24 hours. I'm recovering from being bed bound. I keep telling myself to start slowly, do what works for me and be gentle with myself.. No bullying allowed. We can encourage one another, if we use our courage to share what we do and what works. Blessings from South Eastern Australia, Dot
You have such a wonderful perspective on dealing with mental health. 55 years in therapy only wasted my time 100s of different therapists and they never knew what they were doing. Yes I have modified my diet, exercise is fantastic, thinking the right thoughts is a miracle if you know what the right thoughts are. My last and current piece of the puzzle is Stoicism. I have never gotten so much reconfiguring of my mind with Ryan Holiday's book the Daily Stoic. I am finally learning to master my mind. And you doctor are another valuable addition to solving the challenge of mental health. Thank you
Who else watching this on a Sunday at 5:28am crying...just me??? Ok lol In all honesty at 43yo I'm more lost now than ever. My heart is so empty & I've learned to stop sharing information with family bc no one wants to hear it. I'm a wife and a mother, some days are hard to fake, I can't give them the last little energy I have...I hate it. I sincerely wish the best for anyone reading this. Hopefully this video will spark something deep inside of us to reignite hope.
Hi Dr Scott. I love your UA-cam. I turned 70 2 weeks ago. I feel hopeless and beyond hope. If it takes 10 to 20 years, I may not even be here. I like your idea of creating a life that fits me, because I always feel like I don’t fit in. That makes me more hopeless. I need to watch this again. Gain more perspective. The best thing about you is that you seem more open, relatable and have a way that is different, and makes things possible. No matter what we think about ourselves, you let us know we are included. 💕
Invest 5 years and get 25 to 50 percent better. Maybe you will heal faster once you start. Do SMALL physical things. 2 or 5 pounds dumbbells are good, residence bands or just walk to thr curb a few times a day to start....little things add up for us older people. You deserve to be as happy as you can be. Bissell Van Der Kolk wrote "The Body Keeps the Score ' excellent book, you can get the work book as well...
I like the idea of doing small things-one step at a time. I have felt like I don‘t fit in for my whole life. And I have pretty much lost hope. I don‘t know what I‘m doing with my life
We need to create our own custom mental health toolbox. We also need at least one person to listen, encourage, support and to help us in the lifelong journey. My hope returned when someone listened to me and the first thing they said was "I believe you". My full time job is to do whatever I can to recover from being bed bound and to get to the point where I can cope with and manage my chronic physical and mental health challenges. Blessings from South Eastern Australia, Dot
Completely agree with you about the need for each of us to create a custom toolbox. Blessings on your journey with healing, thank you for sharing your great idea about the toolbox.
I don’t often make comments on UA-cam ….but your natural, straightforward and rudimentary approach is so impressive. You seem to avoid getting us caught in the mental weeds…. while at the same time unveiling hope in places we never even thought to look. You are a natural at what you do…and we are better for it. 🙏
@@saintejeannedarc9460 Had the same thought. People usually don't want to fight things like cancer unless they are going to have "quality of life", so why is this any different?
Dr. Eilers: thank you so much for caring enough to record these podcasts.. I've been struggling with major depression and social phobia for 20+ years. I'm 48 now, and I'm just beginning to feel human again. I have advanced degrees in music, but am beginning a career a career in substance abuse counciling. Not the money i wanted- but I'm carving out my life finally and am feeling empowered finally. Thank you 🙏.
Thank you, I'm struggling to stay here. Sometimes I want help, but mostly not right now. Life isn't something I desire. Your videos are something I can think about.
Thankyou for sharing your struggle, maybe we can encourage each other to keep going and to make what changes we can. I'm in my 40s and think that for me it's a case of I don't want to continue to daily struggle and suffer with the same symptoms over and over with no help, support or even sympathy/empathy from those who are around me. If you ask if I want to live my life like this (experiencing the worst flare-up of physical and mental symptoms, almost bed bound again) day after day for the next 40 to 60 years? Nope, I'm out unless I get actual physical help instead of words. So many things need to change in my daily life. I am picking apart all areas of my life and starting from scratch. I hold on to hope because I have rebuilt before. My motivation to keep going is that I intend to write a book of my experiences and how I dug myself out of the pit and darkness. Im going to focus part of it on all the useless advice and unhelpful things that people do or say, my inner bitch will show. I'm sick of being the good girl who does what she is told, who must meet others unrealistic expectations and who suffers in silence. My voice will be heard and my community will know my story. Blessings from South Eastern Australia, Dot
To anyone reading this…. It’s not easy, life can be an endless struggle, being rock bottom and not even having the energy, hope or the will to live anymore, is so totally debilitating, it’s like you are living in hell and I get it. I struggle everyday, however, remember we only get one shot at this life, we are stronger and more resilient than we know, this too will pass, you are worthy of giving you life another opportunity to show you that it is full of wonder, blessings, beautiful and we do not know what incredible opportunities our future holds. I know your stuck, I know you feel you have tried everything and you can not see a way out, but please reach out and if you are reading or watching this, you are searching for a will to live or a reason to have hope, so there is still something within you that wants so very badly to stay here. Once it’s over it’s over, you can not come back and death is final. You are loved by someone and they would want so badly for you to reach out to them, please give them that opportunity to help you! ❤ hugs
Beautiful encouraging words.... for us that really are... suffering from the poor decisions that ruined our lives, and the anxiety, stress, insomnia and depression it's caused. I'm continuing to struggle 24/7. I really don't like living... I really feel hopelessness.. as my future has been wiped out, and I also lost my career job. That meant everything to me personally. ... Im mentally paralyzed. I cannot go outside anymore,.. and I lost all interests in life.
I find it weird how so many people have this "you only have one shot at life" attitude. The more I reflect on life, the more my attitude becomes: thank goodness this is a one-off, and finite. I don't even need to kill myself to get out of it.
This world and the people in it have become so terrible I don't have the desire or motivation to do anything anymore or to even be around others. I can't even function. Everywhere I look things just keep getting worse!!
sometimes you get so depressed and life starts to hit different, and you start dissociate from your own life, which feels more and more like a bad dream.. I've decided to take it as an opportunity to 'test' how I've been relating to the world, trying to change my mentality when it comes to interactions with people.. The reality is that this is ultimately a thinly veiled SPIRITUAL world, not physical. And the more you can embrace a spiritual approach to things the more you'll find you're actually living instead of only thinking. Turning your brain off can win you friends, it can make you surprise yourself even. People are here to be connected to, and in today's world, those of us who are awake enough to realize these things needs to take it up as a responsibility to engage people and get them out of their own closed off worlds too. This modern world wants everyone neurotic and isolated and we have to make concerted efforts to break that.. to break this 'vibe' that's being inculcated in people today. BE the weirdo. BE different. But BE.
Thank you for this Dr Scott. I am going to save this to listen to again and again. My last therapist said to me "you sure have seen a lot of therapists". Yes, I have. I have noticed that I pick up a good idea from you, and run with it for a while, and then I stop. Each little step forward is not followed by 2 steps back, but maybe only a half step back. So little by little progress is made. Like you said I don't need to start a huge spread sheet of programmes to follow. But each day, do 1 thing towards wellness eg Monday wash 2 things off the kitchen bench🥤🍵, Tuesday take a 5 or 10 minute walk🚶♀ Wednesday chat to a stranger in the supermarket ... It really helps to break the pattern of doing no-things, nothing. 28 years or more struggling with depression, anxiety, recovery from trauma, but this is the year that it all changes. I love the way everyone contributes on here the things that work for them, and encourages each other. 🙋♀thank you 💛❤💙❤
Very honest and truly sincere empathetic video. I can see that Your own mental health struggles have given you a unique perspective and insight into other people’s pain and suffering. You have a great gift for reaching out and helping others with realistic practical advice which we can all benefit from!( not some empty words we often hear)Thank you 😊 God bless 🌸
Having someone take 10 yrs to fix something in their life is easier when you are in your 20's or 30's or maybe in their 40's but if you are in your mid 50's and you're struggling to cope with life at this point, I'd have to say you're going to feel you are stuck and there will be a very small chance that you can fix your brokenness before you find the end of your existence. I have more days behind me than in front of me and that is a fact. No amount of work on myself is going to matter at this point. I will live a mediocre life and die alone, in poverty and that is just the truth as I see it. Empowering metaphors and dialogue from you is helpful in making me feel better but won't change these facts none the less.
I'm 60 years old, and unfortunately I feel the same. 😢I can't say I feel much hope at this point, even though I've recently returned to therapy after a 10-year break. Too many years have passed, and too much permanent damage has been done due to early trauma, and many life events in adulthood.
53 year - old woman here and I am able to relate to your experience pretty easily! ❤ Still...I rather choose to believe there is always hope...even it would never be seen as a visible change in my environment or financial situation. I know as for a fact that there is always a possibility for a positive change occurring within myself, for example, through self-compassion that I am practicing at the moment. It has and will chang my mindset (how I feel about myself and my situation) hugely..and I never know how it will affect my (or your) environment in the end. We never know for 100% sure. But we do know for a fact that our perceptions and expectations for life do effect...always...for better or for worse... so we might as well wait for something positive instead of the negative. The potential disappointment (if nothing is going to change for the better) we fear so much sometimes will not hurt as much than knowing we did not even try to believe that we are worth of love and happiness. As long as there is life, there is hope! ❤
Im not religious, but finding jesus allows you to accept your situation and not care, because there is a better outcome after death. Ignore the heaven and death bit, but if you dont worry anymore about the future, life works itself out
@@noka214 yes I do believe that self compassion can help me in dealing with my life as it is, I just don't believe that it can change very much. Thanks
Dear Dr. Eilers I suffer from chronic migraines for 25 years. I have been hospitalized this week for this. I also have stomach issues. I just would rather be unalive. I am taking Maxalt, also Botox and I am getting migraines everyday now. I am sick of this. I spend my days in bed because I cannot function. I just want to throw in the towel! I exercise, I am conscientious about my diet and I try to be positive but with these constant migraines and no life because of this situation i am totally lost. It is extremely difficult. I was thinking the easiest way out is to starve myself to d!
Just sharing my story for my migraines. I had migraines ever since I was around 9 years. Debilitating, dark room, auras, fractured vision, noises killed me! I'm 68 now, and I had a TIA about 2009. I had also blood clots in both lungs around 1991. So with all the tests with the TIA being done, they performed a bubble test. Turns out I had a hole in my heart that hadn't closed when I was born. Got that closed and honestly I haven't had a headache since. Just wondering if you've had this checked? Hopefully you find some help and relief! Sorry you are so miserable!
@@LoriNuttall thank you Lori for sharing your story. I have been to 2 neurologists and they both came up with the same conclusion. I am was super stressed about my job. I was there for almost 14 years and they fired me. So now I have a lawyer and we are going for a bigger severance. I also dealing with the Labour board. I worked free during every Covid lockdown. My boss guilted and coerced me into helping her. My hubby is due for his 5 th surgery next month. There’s a lot going on. I can’t even get anything accomplished anymore! I constantly live in the back bedroom where it is nice, cool and dark. I really miss my benefits because now I am paying $200/month for just migraine meds alone. I can’t get any assistance because our household income is too high. I just want this to end because I can’t live like this anymore.
@licksnkicks1166, I had one long Headache that lasted every day for 50 years. Yes, For Real. Because the culprit causes a hangover. & since I was unaware of the culprit which BTW, takes 21 days to get out of the system/body, I kept eating it. So therefore I had a fifty year headache. I have been recovering for the last 7 years.There was one ingredient in the food that I had to avoid and as long as I continue to avoid this one ingredient that is in all of the food, All of it. It's called excitotoxins, so No Headaches Anymore. When I tell you I had a headache that lasted every day for 50 years. And I don't have headaches any more. What I'm telling you.Is this advice I have may work for others. I honestly feel this advice will save your life. See Russell L. Blaylock "Excitotoxins the Tase That Kills" Here is how I do it. I eat & drink 1,000 % USDA Organic. If it means you have to live on nothing but dried organic beans and dried organic rice, In terms of making it affordable to not have headaches, then that is what you do. I have what is called MCS, multiple chemical sensitivity. Again, This could be something that may help you. Actually, I feel very strongly that this will help you will save your life. And I hope & pray that it does. 🙏🏼
@licksnkicks1166, I had one long Headache that lasted every day for 50 years. Yes, For Real. Because the culprit causes a hangover. & since I was unaware of the culprit which BTW, takes 21 days to get out of the system/body, I kept eating it. So therefore I had a fifty year headache. I have been recovering for the last 7 years.There was one ingredient in the food that I had to avoid and as long as I continue to avoid this one ingredient that is in all of the food, All of it. It's called excitotoxins, so No Headaches Anymore. When I tell you I had a headache that lasted every day for 50 years. And I don't have headaches any more. What I'm telling you.Is this advice I have may work for others. I honestly feel this advice will save your life. See Russell L. Blaylock "Excitotoxins the Tase That Kills" Here is how I do it. I eat & drink 1,000 % USDA Organic. If it means you have to live on nothing but dried organic beans and dried organic rice, In terms of making it affordable to not have headaches, then that is what you do. I have what is called MCS, multiple chemical sensitivity. Again, This could be something that may help you. Actually, I feel very strongly that this will help you will save your life. And I hope & pray that it does. 🙏🏼
@licksnkicks1166, I had one long Headache that lasted every day for 50 years. Yes, For Real. Because the culprit causes a hangover. & since I was unaware of the culprit which BTW, takes 21 days to get out of the system/body, I kept eating it. So therefore I had a fifty year headache. I have been recovering for the last 7 years.There was one ingredient in the food that I had to avoid and as long as I continue to avoid this one ingredient that is in all of the food, All of it. It's called excitotoxins, so No Headaches Anymore. When I tell you I had a headache that lasted every day for 50 years. And I don't have headaches any more. What I'm telling you.Is this advice I have may work for others. I honestly feel this advice will save your life. See Russell L. Blaylock "Excitotoxins the Tase That Kills" Here is how I do it. I eat & drink 1,000 % USDA Organic. If it means you have to live on nothing but dried organic beans and dried organic rice, In terms of making it affordable to not have headaches, then that is what you do. I have what is called MCS, multiple chemical sensitivity. Again, This could be something that may help you. Actually, I feel very strongly that this will help you will save your life. And I hope & pray that it does. 🙏🏼
Something else that’s free is decluttering/organizing our rooms & homes - especially where we sleep. I do this professionally and see firsthand how much our immediate surroundings can affect our mental health.
Thank you for this video. I’ve been dealing with poor mental health since childhood. I’ll be 57 this October and though ***trigger warning *** I’ve attempted to take my own life in the past, my life now is so much better. I still struggle but I refuse to give up, I won’t let my former abusers get the better of me. They don’t matter, but my life and all the amazing people I’m surrounded by, including me, do. Hope is powerful, and I hope that everyone reading this values themselves ❤
You explain lack of hope or total loss of hope perfectly. I personally have tried many things and gone down many paths but always end up back in the same place.
Omg i did not hurt anyone. I just let them hurt me because i was emmotionaly immature. I can not forgive myself because i think it was my problem that let them be abusive
@@youareloved8274hi there. I can feel the hurt. I have also been trough a lot..painfull separation. One thing i have learned is that when you forgive. Its more about you that the person, it is something that takes time, but when you are ready to forgive it because you a ready to let go of the burden you have been carrying. Its you cutting the ties with the feeling the person is causing in you. The fact that the person is still alive and living along is not something you should worry about. You should forgive ( when you are ready), so that you can move on in a sense. I hope this help a bit. Oh and by forgiving your are not forgetting or acknowledge that what the person did was right, it more about you choosing your sanity above the situation caused by the person.
@@shaimi26 , thank you for your message sir. I have forgiven my ex husband. I have Complex PTSD from him hitting me and shoving me into bathtub, in 2017, i didn't report it because they wouldn't have believed me. On top of calling me a worthless piece of trash and we have a son together. But he wanted to cheat I guess because he didn't want to be married or he got bored, I don't know, all I know is my son is suffering from all the damage my ex husband has caused, and he is walking around like he did nothing and is getting married to his girlfriend that he cheated on me with and my son is so confused right now. I don't hate my ex husband but I hate all the abuse and disrespect and hasn't taken responsibility for any of it. My mom said don't worry he won't get away with hurting people because God sees and hears everything, karma is coming
I am a 70 years old and have been depressed since I was 10. I am a retired nurse RN and have even worked on psych units in hospital. Please help me, I don't want to die this way.
The root cause of the type of suffering you are speaking about imo, is that you were not properly attuned with and emotionally regulated by your parents as a child. Often the mother has the key role there but if the father is a strong positive and supportive figure in the child’s life I think the effects of emotional neglect by a mother can be mitigated. And potentially also close supportive relationships with siblings. If you didn’t have either of those then you carry that core wound throughout life, and it can be very difficult to self regulate. In this case we constantly look outside of ourselves to get the validation we should have received from our families to start with. But of course that rarely works, particularly not for very long. We essentially are always asking friends and partners to step into that parenting role, but of course they cannot and are not interested in doing that and it often leads to rejection, betrayal, resentment and other relationship difficulties. To recover you have to understand how that core wound happened, why it was likely to have happened, then reach a place of acceptance and /or forgiveness of your parents, siblings etc who you feel let you down in life. Realise they could not meet your needs then or now, and it is up to you to re-parent and self parent yourself. That means learning how to emotionally regulate yourself and set boundaries with yourself and with others. And then start to self actualise goals you want to achieve in your life, whether small or big.
Oof that part hit me in the guts- the life I want & that I would be happy with does not feel attainable.. not after years of trying & failing.. and the life that does feel attainable, is not what I want… and I don’t even want like riches, or to be on some pedestal or important in the world.. just being confident & comfortable in my own skin, to be bringing purpose to the world & helping others in a meaningful way, and have a FAMILY (blood + not blood), giving my kids a life that we are not in constant fucking STRUGGLE. Like that’s really it. To take all the SHIT I’ve been through in life & find a way to help others who are going through it.. to wake up feeling like there is purpose & meaning for me to be in this world, instead of dreading each new day & forcing myself out of bed every morning.
We should be thanking you, Scott, for giving us your time and understanding❤ I feel comfort when I see and hear you knowing I can believe who you are. Don’t ever change, you have had a long journey and arrived in the place you were destined to be. Thank you for every ounce of courage and determination it must have taken. When I need to I come straight over to you for a virtual hug and wise words. With love 💗
I have watched a few of your videos. I so enjoy and can relate to your positive common-sense approach. I watched this one after the fact. A number of things began popping into my mind that are personal to me, things that I do/can do which bring me some degree of pleasure/happiness. I paused the video and pretty quickly came up with a list of twelve: twelve little stair steps toward reducing depression and increasing positivity, well-being, and happiness. I knew that the more positives you get into your life, the better your chances of improving your depression. What got through to me was your pointing out that these positive actions can be very specific to each of us, and there can be 10, 20, 50 or more of them! Thank you so much for the very valuable help you give at no charge!! ♥️
I have had therapist say “ you just need to buck up and get over it” You are right it was me thinking I could find away and then I would find something to do . Music helped a great deal
I am a musician and play guitar in a band. Being a female guitar player can be hard at times because the guys get jealous that I can play better then them. Music has saved me so many times I can’t even count
Life is easy to fix if you just accept what you currently have and just not care anymore. Lots of words in his story and effort, but you have to just not care anymore.
Thank you so much for your compassion and experience Dr Eliers i’m sitting up watching your podcast, feeling hopeless as I’ve three adult children with addiction and mental health problems. My daughter is in recovery thank God but my two sons is still using. It’s so refreshing to see someone with a higher level of intelligence and God willing the system will catch up before it is to late. I live n Ireland and would love to be able to meet someone like you to get help from. God bless you, you are doing a great job! Mary🙏❤️
I love your authenticity Dr. Scott and your passion, and dedication- those traits alone will help so many people - thank you for your channel and support truly!!!
You're the best! Have never been able to find the help, outside myself. Have never had the resources, but, I think that stood me in good stead, because I learnt on my own. No one can ultimately make you happy or functional or thrive. It helps though to hear someone so qualified like you to give advice in such a non- judgemental and non- technical but real way. It is obvious that you know what you're talking about, because you've walked the talk, and experienced the worst of it yourself. Thanks again 🙏
Thanks for putting this up, Scott. I couldn't be there today, but I just watched and enjoyed your talk and answers to the questions. Your caring about people really came through. I also liked the Elder Scrolls reference about building your own life how you want it. Something I'm still working on. 😊 ✌️
Thanks for everything you do. It is just as hard when you know what you need but are unable to fulfill that need. Always know you have and are helping alot of people with these videos. It's nice to know you are not alone in your struggle.
Thank you for this refreshingly accessible kind and timely guidance.. even this anhedonic lost individual feels moved.. listening to each post twice in a row to get the fullest measure .. I hope you realise how much good karma you're generating..I'm a very very grateful subscriber
I like that - finding a therapist is like dating. If you don’t like a therapist don’t think it’s you. Just find another one you do like. I wish I heard that a lot sooner.
@@mightymouse1005 Right. For me, a therapist was different because they are in a position of authority. It took me a long time to figure out that it might not be me - that it might be that the therapist wasn't right.
I believe you are correct in your assessment of the current state of mental health professionals. They are mostly phoning it in or they don’t know how to help people. (My opinion)
I’m so depressed I don’t know how I am going to get through this. Too many changes over the past 2 years. Multiple moves, loss of girlfriend/wifey, financial crisis, no friends etc
Love the video game metaphor, so true. You’re very different from other therapist. I think sharing your personal experiences, are key factors in being able to understand and help others. That’s what makes your approach to each individual, unique. Keep doing what you do, because you are about to be known world wide. I see over a million subscribers in the near future for you. God bless you 🙏 for helping so many.
OMG, you just made me realise something important.....I'm not fully committed to my own life; I've always got a way out, or several ways out. OK, I'm going to think about that and endeavour to make a change(s) there. Thank you.
Two reasons I don't live the way I want to live: 1. I really don't even know what I want. Who do I want to be? Nothing seems to fit. Everything attainable is boring and everything fun or cool is too difficult to be successful and make money doing it. 2. I am absolutely terrified of not having enough money to survive. I would rather die than be homeless. That fear has kept me in horrible, boring, mindless, meaningless, unfulfilling, dead-end jobs for most of my life. How do I break free and actually do something I want to do. Everything fun costs way more money than I am usually willing to fork over. How do people break out of this? Fear is the mind killer, and it is decimating me! 😵💫😭 Also... in my experience...Therapy doesn't work for me. I think it's a combination of several factors. I hate CBT, I hate therapeutic tapping, I hate breathing exercises, and I especially hate any type of worksheet I might get from a therapist. It just feels like homework, makes me more anxious, and I am not going to do it. I tend to find it very difficult to trust therapists especially when they talk to me in that simpering voice like I'm super fragile and might break! Then there's Talk therapy, which is just venting, and it can make me feel better for a little while, but it doesn't actually solve the problem.
You sound like me but have hope and start maybe with reading for dummies books, at least looking over the various titles to see which ones interest you and then read some of them, maybe it'll peak your interest to what could be out there for you.
I'm struggling with severe flashbacks & body memories for the last two months related to C-PTSD & DID as a result of extensive childhood/adolescent trauna. This all triggered a Major Depressive episode. I'm a strong person, but this is all wearing me down. I know this will abate with time, but the suffering is really hard to cope with. Geez. I sound like I'm complaining. Thank you for your message of hope & healing.
33:30ish - all that trauma is me e: just finished. I LOVE your empathy & kindness. Psychopathic, narcissistic ex, who i am still trying to (financially) separate from is my main issue.
Scott it is so heartwarming that you are able to help your patients labelled as 'SPMI'. I'm a naturally skeptical person too and this enables me to look at everything with fresh eyes.
When you believe the lue, you become part of the lue. When you Rise above the lie, You Can Then Raise Others Above the Lie and into Peace and Hope! Thank you Dr.
Thank you for another great video. You constantly give me new perspectives on dealing with my issues. Also, to be able to identify with emotions and feelings that I really don't like about myself is helpful.
Hi, just found your channel. Both my hubbie and I have been diagnosed with cancer, mine 1 yr. ago, him a few months ago. I had chemo, radiation and am now on immunotherapy. He is starting radiation and hormone therapy. I have had my good and bad days. We are both in our 80's and married almost 64 yrs. I look forward to being a part of your channel. Thank you.
With kind respect sir, I lost hope 19 years ago, all in one fell swoop. A survivor of Childhood CPTSD, i had one thing that saved me my dream....then I lost that in 2005.....the fact that im still alive is strange.....such an empty life without my dream
I had depression anxiety early Feb 3rd time getting it bad last 14 years. My biggest problem is lonliness and being in a job thats not fulfilling and only 3 days a week. I have too much time off and having no partner or kids. I just relapsed this week after being well for 4 weeks. The doctor took me off 5mg of valium completely at night after being on it for 5 months. Surely I should have been weened off it. I got into the habit of gambling being off so much, it was mainly for company and to pass tye day. I think this also had a major factor in me getting depressed and anxious again. As I was beating myself up again for gambling and not looking after my mental health. Living on your own with mental health is very tough. No one to talk to or to have as company. I hope I can get better sooner and change a lot of my life for the better. Even to try and do charity work on the days I am off. I just get so frightened when the depression and anxiety comes back. My mum took her own life Jan 8th 2021 she had cancer but it was the isolation from covid that got into her head. She was my best friend, she was 76 😪
I can totally relate to you, I’m the same I only work three days in the office but it’s unfulfilling and I also don’t have a partner or children to distract me. If you start to build in small goals into your life it will start to feel just a little better and before you know it you’ll have a life that you’ll feel proud of. Takes ages tho 😢
What an amazing young man you are. You are the only one that gets me out of bed everyday. Researched lots. But you are the only one thst understands people.❤❤
"Future faking" is a term that pertains to narcissism. Narcissists tend to make false promises to their victims and then don't or can't follow through on said promise(s).
Hey Doc, this is pretty great, thank you so much. Reading so many comments, what a variety. There's a lot of pain. The human condition... I'm 70, first entered therapy at 20, suicidal depression. I always wanted to die, death wish central. Somehow I did not succumb to self destruction. I found great help w/therapists, friends. Forget romance, utter failure. Maybe the biggest thing was to become a dancer. I recommend the arts for emotional cripples. Art is where we learn transformation. Thing is, ahem, I fired hope. Hope misleads me. Maybe I don't hope properly, there's so much i have done improperly. I do have faith, that without hope life can still be meaningful and enjoyable. I have no reason to fear death after the violence I experienced. My midlife crisis occurred when I was one. Early childhood was a NDE. Sanity was amputated outa me. Had to quit drinking, 25 years. & yet, here I am. I returned to therapy last year, after a crisis of acceptance. I thought I made peace with things, then it all blew up: I had accepted the unacceptable. I heard a teacher recently say "Acceptance is relaxation of the mind". Pretty great!! Bargaining is a grasping unrelaxed, mind. Now what? Might not matter. 1 day at a time 🕊
One foot in, one foot out... that is the definition of my life. We moved to AZ from IL when I was 11 and I spent the next 30 years thinking I'd be moving from AZ to somewhere, anywhere else. So I spent all those years living a 'temporary' life and not making connections.
I heard something from Chase Hughes from the BehaviorPanel that made a lot of sense to me. He said to be your own butler. Instead of looking back with regret, look back in gratitude. So you may put your gym clothes out the night before to get ready for the gym. Or you put your dishes or clothes away before you go to bed. You may even tidy up a bit before bed so the morning is not a clutter of things that were not put away. Take Tiny steps to start and begin with feeling gratitude for doing something for yourself, instead or regret.
"Poverty is a hope and traction killer." How brutally and tragically true. And no one does a better job of creating poverty and then punishing the poor than the powers that run the US political economy. Dr. Eilers, you are doing an invaluable public service by creating these videos. The fact that you have been to the bottom of the pit of despair yourself and worked your way out and up is the ultimate testament to the utility of hope. And just a message to all of us: we would not be here, watching these videos, if we had lost all hope. What would be the point?
I’ve reached out but nothing has changed. The last thing I want is to be in a psych ward, treated like a prisoner, or an unruly teenager. My narcissistic father had me committed every time he feared I’d expose his true self. I actually made a playlist last weekend, titled “I told you I needed help”. My little brother, only sibling, died tragically 11/29/22, and I had to make the playlist for his memorial. It was very painful for me. So, I made my own. I WANT desperately to feel better. At this point, due to an insurance change, I don’t even have a psychiatrist, nor do I have the willpower to try harder to get one. I’ve given up. I don’t plan on harming myself but I don’t want to live like this.
I find this channel terrific either as a back up to my own psychologist (yeaaaaah, I finally have one). I also find it helpful when something comes up I don't know how to deal with or just a reminder. I was desperate when I found it and it pulled me through until I found in person help and it still does help.
You help me a lot. I see hope through your words because anxiety and death is a very tiny line, even though people (without anxiety) do not acknowledge that.
“Future faking” is a term used in narcissistic abuse. It’s when a narcissist lies about making future plans to the person they are abusing / conning. As a therapist you should really know about Narcissistic abuse and borderline personality disorder. Many victims of this abuse present as deeply depressed and cognitively impaired, and a therapist who isn’t aware of the manipulations and strategies inflicted by narcissists will not be able to help their client, and will most possibly cause more damage.
In my part of Canada anyone who is covered by our health care system is 1. I'd they are good and at a psychologist level, it's time limited or 2. If as long as you want you are probably getting a wholly underqualified social worker who will dig up your trauma and then let you walk out the door bawling and traumatized. They are the bottom of the barrel and do more damage than good. After months of retraumatizing you they will say I'm 'too complex' and they can't help me. I learned not to even start UNLESS THEY ARE PSYCHOLOGISTS. I loathe psychiatrists. Luckily I have been blessed with an amazing rarity. A great psychologist in the public system that is not on a time limited basis! I went through major trauma x 5 in half as many years and a mental breakdown all without anyone....not 1 single person, not a friend, not a professional, not a shitty social worker. I pulled myself out as far as I could and tried the public system again. Another shitty social worker who was combative with me...yeah, just what I need! NOT. Complained and now I got what I asked for. She is a psychologist, absolutely great and calming who teaches techniques to start. She just coming back from being a new amputee so I got her at the right time...any longer and she would be fully booked and I'd be screwed. For the 1st time in 57 years I have hope....FIFTY SEVEN YEARS!
I agree. My shitty psychiatrist let my husband come into our meetings. Big mistake! Why? This is about me not him. We would leave his office fighting hardcore because of all the crap that we had discussed in our meeting. And the first thing he wanted to do was to medicate me. I need someone to talk to now because of a crisis I am currently going through. I will never trust a psychiatrist ever again. I will try to help myself. I am no longer working so I don’t have my benefits anymore and I can’t afford to go see a psychologist at $200 plus a visit. I also had a social worker try to help me. I didn’t like her one but. One visit and no more. I just feel like crap now!
I'm tired of having to figure out how to live. I'm tired of being resilient. If this is all there is to life, I just don't want it. Yet I'm still trapped here unable to leave.
Just tumbled on to your videos and wow am I glad I did! I am 72, long ago diagnosed as being dissociative, ADD and depressed. Was prescribed meds, no talk therapy, and did that for a spell...fast forward to now and where I am not on meds except for Advil, spend time drawing, observing, writing and feel alright. Could I improve? Most certainly. I say this because I feel that I am in a freeze mode based on not having belief in me, which I know stunts my productivity. No outside stress. Very lucky there thanks to my partner in life. Sure wish I had a therapist like you. Everything I have heard you say just clicks with me.
I just found this channel and it resonates with me. All that you said made me take a blind leap of faith and moved sight unseen to Indiana. So far, i feel like the one of the best decision i have made in a long time. However, after listening to you, I'm scared i may relapse. In the back of my mind I'm waiting for the shoe to drop. I only had 2 sessions with 2 different therapists and i thought it was useless. However, after this podcast, i think i am going to sign up for therapy while everything is great!!! PS. I subbed 😊
Sometimes it's not your personal mindset. Some people are simply trapped in hopeless situations.
@GregPrice. I know that's true...trapped in a hopeless situation kills the spirit
@@mightymouse1005 Indeed.
@@GregPrice-ep2dk if you have had a situationship (they don't have relationship) with a narcissist, you're damaged in every way.
@@mightymouse1005 Not what I was referring to. I can't imagine what life would be like if I had to deal with a narcissist on top of my other problems.
That’s absolutely true. Not every situation has an immediate solution or thought process that leads to a solution!
Lost Hope is an understatement. I’m 74, rented a condo for 19 yrs. Hurrican Milton on 10/10/23 destroyed everything I owned. The condo owner has not decided to let me re-rent in a gutted condo. I have no where to go that will rent to me on my income. My brother drove my 2017 car w/24,000 miles on it & totaled it (hit-n-run). I am on a fixed income, homeless now. My brother will not help me.
I struggle daily to keep hope.
I have experienced a good life. I am 93 years old. I am in good health physically. I don't want to go on. Everynight I say "lord it would be ok with me if I don't wake up."
Wake up to another day of emptiness. I have outlived my oldest daughter 3 younger brothers and two grand children and of course my parents. I have one peer left from my youth I view life as Shakespere described it "life is but a walking shadow a poor player who struts and frets his hour upon the stage and then is heard no more.
Bless you.❤🙏
Same here❤
Could we - would it be possible - to stay in touch? Just email maybe? Just every now and again?
My mother is 89. She lost her son, her husband, her dear cousin who grew up with her as a sister, her grandchildren children who where taken away by foreign in-laws, many friends who were like family throughout her life.
She recently moved to a beautiful senior retirement home where she now enjoys the company of many lovely peers who she shares these similar experiences with. They share their meals with one another every day and are building relationships. It has brightened her life. Would something like this be a possibility for you?
❤ Wishing you days of joy!
The fact that there are so many here who have lost hope completely is sobering for me but not in a good way. There are so many of us out here who feel life isn’t going to get better because it has never been better for them. We have tried to change and do other things but we have that emptiness that still exists. There are people who never been in love or never had a sustainable friendship and they are hurting out here. Mind you some people have been constantly bullied their entire lives.
This is me... all of the relationships that are vital to a person's life, I have never experienced and I am deeply emotionally wounded as a result
This is sad to hear
@@girlwithpearlssame. sending hugs your way 🫂. i pray something changes soon.
It honestly feels like a cursed life. I don't understand why & it breaks my heart daily.
Feeling trapped, and being aware of a hopeless situation, is the perfect recipe feeling hopelessness!
You Rock Dr. Scott. Thank you for making this kind of stuff on You Tube FREE to help even us poor folks who can't afford a therapist. I don't know if that made any sense but I appreciate this channel Big Time. When I'm in these dark places it helps having some place to turn.
You look like you’re in your 30s. You still have a lot of living to do. What are you supposed to do if you’re old?
Money talks and poor people walk and suffer all the way!!!!!😢
At the very LEAST, you gave hope to one person today- me. Thank you.
That won’t last.
@@sg-zd8eb Maybe it will! Who are you to say that it won't?
@@sg-zd8ebWhy would you think and say so? I am sorry but that was quite insensitive of you. I don't know about you but we are a large, global family of folks who are associated with Dr. Scott in one way or another. Kindly, be kind to all. 🙏🏻
so happy for you.
And don’t worry about the nay-sayers. If the hope wanes, we find it again… this builds the muscles we need to find hope quickly. If we get good and strong at finding hope quickly, that is all we need. Congratulations for finding those muscles.
@@lunaportia989 Thank you for the kind words.😀😀😀😀
I was sexually abused when I was 5 so I’ve been like this all my life. Now at 76 I feel like I’m out of time. Have never been in therapy because the amount of money it takes is out of the question. So now I just can’t wait to leave this world.
It is truly enlightening to hear a therapist who finally get it.
Peer support groups are really helpful or local non profits or health centers offer low cost or free therapy. Student therapists are also available
@@patriciaosuch oh my life, please don't feel like this all alone. Pls could you get in touch asap 🙏
I missed the live so I'm watching now. I was actually cleaning my apartment because I've been neglecting things around here for a long while now. Yesterday I even cleaned my cluttered patio and put out flowers 🌼 it needed a good sweeping too and I cleaned the outside of my windows! So I'm very slowly but surely coming back to life. It feels good but I'm still not 💯
Same here. Damn, I even got the announcement, but I didn't realize it was a live stream since I was listening to music and cleaning. But at least the house is now clean. 😁
@@klpuhelin2816 🧹🧽 it feels good when it's done ✅
❤Just take it day by day
@@deborahbull5968 thanks 💗
If all you did today was to get out of bed, eat something and take 5 minutes to do something towards the house, like put some of the rubbish (trash) in a bag and put it in the outside bin, then it's a win.
One of my friends once told me that it's OK to celebrate the tiny thing I did that no one else noticed. If that tiny thing helped me to live life, feel joy again or built momentum towards bigger change then it was worth celebrating.
I live with bipolar spectrum disorder and a list of chronic health challenges so I feel like I have had a good day if I've eaten 2 meals, had a shower and done something useful for at least 5 minutes within the last 24 hours. I'm recovering from being bed bound. I keep telling myself to start slowly, do what works for me and be gentle with myself.. No bullying allowed.
We can encourage one another, if we use our courage to share what we do and what works.
Blessings from South Eastern Australia, Dot
You have such a wonderful perspective on dealing with mental health. 55 years in therapy only wasted my time 100s of different therapists and they never knew what they were doing. Yes I have modified my diet, exercise is fantastic, thinking the right thoughts is a miracle if you know what the right thoughts are. My last and current piece of the puzzle is Stoicism. I have never gotten so much reconfiguring of my mind with Ryan Holiday's book the Daily Stoic. I am finally learning to master my mind. And you doctor are another valuable addition to solving the challenge of mental health. Thank you
What a beautiful and heartfelt reply!
A priest gifted me that book a few years ago. I like it a lot
Who else watching this on a Sunday at 5:28am crying...just me??? Ok lol In all honesty at 43yo I'm more lost now than ever. My heart is so empty & I've learned to stop sharing information with family bc no one wants to hear it. I'm a wife and a mother, some days are hard to fake, I can't give them the last little energy I have...I hate it. I sincerely wish the best for anyone reading this. Hopefully this video will spark something deep inside of us to reignite hope.
❤
How are you doing today? You're not alone. I'm in pretty much the same place as yourself.
Its all relative of course and everyone has an individual story. But I'd kill to go back 43, but I can't. Have to make this work.
Please do this again Doc. There’s a lot of ‘us’ out there falling through the cracks. Thank you immensely.
Definitely will, thank you!
Hi Dr Scott. I love your UA-cam. I turned 70 2 weeks ago. I feel hopeless and beyond hope. If it takes 10 to 20 years, I may not even be here. I like your idea of creating a life that fits me, because I always feel like I don’t fit in. That makes me more hopeless. I need to watch this again. Gain more perspective. The best thing about you is that you seem more open, relatable and have a way that is different, and makes things possible. No matter what we think about ourselves, you let us know we are included. 💕
Invest 5 years and get 25 to 50 percent better.
Maybe you will heal faster once you start. Do SMALL physical things. 2 or 5 pounds dumbbells are good, residence bands or just walk to thr curb a few times a day to start....little things add up for us older people. You deserve to be as happy as you can be.
Bissell Van Der Kolk wrote "The Body Keeps the Score ' excellent book, you can get the work book as well...
I like the idea of doing small things-one step at a time. I have felt like I don‘t fit in for my whole life. And I have pretty much lost hope. I don‘t know what I‘m doing with my life
You look so pretty and kind on your photo, can't imagine you feel hopeless.
We need to create our own custom mental health toolbox.
We also need at least one person to listen, encourage, support and to help us in the lifelong journey.
My hope returned when someone listened to me and the first thing they said was "I believe you".
My full time job is to do whatever I can to recover from being bed bound and to get to the point where I can cope with and manage my chronic physical and mental health challenges.
Blessings from South Eastern Australia, Dot
Completely agree with you about the need for each of us to create a custom toolbox. Blessings on your journey with healing, thank you for sharing your great idea about the toolbox.
I don’t often make comments on UA-cam ….but your natural, straightforward and rudimentary approach is so impressive.
You seem to avoid getting us caught in the mental weeds…. while at the same time unveiling hope in places we never even thought to look.
You are a natural at what you do…and we are better for it. 🙏
"we're all gonna have to keep fighting for as long as we're here"...true
No reason to actually.
@@saintejeannedarc9460 Had the same thought. People usually don't want to fight things like cancer unless they are going to have "quality of life", so why is this any different?
Dr. Eilers: thank you so much for caring enough to record these podcasts.. I've been struggling with major depression and social phobia for 20+ years. I'm 48 now, and I'm just beginning to feel human again. I have advanced degrees in music, but am beginning a career a career in substance abuse counciling. Not the money i wanted- but I'm carving out my life finally and am feeling empowered finally. Thank you 🙏.
I’ve lost more than hope. Although the death of hope is one of the most painful feeling I’ve had.
Thank you for caring enough about people who are in need of the help from someone [in the mental health profession]. Your help sure is appreciated.
Thank you, I'm struggling to stay here. Sometimes I want help, but mostly not right now. Life isn't something I desire. Your videos are something I can think about.
Thankyou for sharing your struggle, maybe we can encourage each other to keep going and to make what changes we can.
I'm in my 40s and think that for me it's a case of I don't want to continue to daily struggle and suffer with the same symptoms over and over with no help, support or even sympathy/empathy from those who are around me.
If you ask if I want to live my life like this (experiencing the worst flare-up of physical and mental symptoms, almost bed bound again) day after day for the next 40 to 60 years? Nope, I'm out unless I get actual physical help instead of words. So many things need to change in my daily life. I am picking apart all areas of my life and starting from scratch.
I hold on to hope because I have rebuilt before.
My motivation to keep going is that I intend to write a book of my experiences and how I dug myself out of the pit and darkness. Im going to focus part of it on all the useless advice and unhelpful things that people do or say, my inner bitch will show.
I'm sick of being the good girl who does what she is told, who must meet others unrealistic expectations and who suffers in silence.
My voice will be heard and my community will know my story.
Blessings from South Eastern Australia, Dot
To anyone reading this…. It’s not easy, life can be an endless struggle, being rock bottom and not even having the energy, hope or the will to live anymore, is so totally debilitating, it’s like you are living in hell and I get it. I struggle everyday, however, remember we only get one shot at this life, we are stronger and more resilient than we know, this too will pass, you are worthy of giving you life another opportunity to show you that it is full of wonder, blessings, beautiful and we do not know what incredible opportunities our future holds. I know your stuck, I know you feel you have tried everything and you can not see a way out, but please reach out and if you are reading or watching this, you are searching for a will to live or a reason to have hope, so there is still something within you that wants so very badly to stay here. Once it’s over it’s over, you can not come back and death is final. You are loved by someone and they would want so badly for you to reach out to them, please give them that opportunity to help you! ❤ hugs
This was so good. I wish I could share this with a few people I know. Thank you for this. Bless you.
This literally describes my life. Thank you.
Beautiful encouraging words.... for us that really are... suffering from the poor decisions that ruined our lives, and the anxiety, stress, insomnia and depression it's caused. I'm continuing to struggle 24/7. I really don't like living... I really feel hopelessness.. as my future has been wiped out, and I also lost my career job. That meant everything to me personally. ... Im mentally paralyzed. I cannot go outside anymore,.. and I lost all interests in life.
Thanks for your post ❤️
I find it weird how so many people have this "you only have one shot at life" attitude. The more I reflect on life, the more my attitude becomes: thank goodness this is a one-off, and finite. I don't even need to kill myself to get out of it.
This is the best live stream I have ever watched. Thank you so much for your insight and help
Wow, thank you!
100% agree ❤ Would love to catch a part 2 where you cover the things you ran out of time to include.
It’s not mental health it’s this shitty world.
Just like the quote (which I can never remember verbatim haha) - "it's no sign of good health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society."
Well said👍
Exactly!!
Why bother
This world and the people in it have become so terrible I don't have the desire or motivation to do anything anymore or to even be around others. I can't even function. Everywhere I look things just keep getting worse!!
sometimes you get so depressed and life starts to hit different, and you start dissociate from your own life, which feels more and more like a bad dream..
I've decided to take it as an opportunity to 'test' how I've been relating to the world, trying to change my mentality when it comes to interactions with people..
The reality is that this is ultimately a thinly veiled SPIRITUAL world, not physical. And the more you can embrace a spiritual approach to things the more you'll find you're actually living instead of only thinking.
Turning your brain off can win you friends, it can make you surprise yourself even. People are here to be connected to, and in today's world, those of us who are awake enough to realize these things needs to take it up as a responsibility to engage people and get them out of their own closed off worlds too.
This modern world wants everyone neurotic and isolated and we have to make concerted efforts to break that.. to break this 'vibe' that's being inculcated in people today.
BE the weirdo. BE different. But BE.
Thank you for this Dr Scott. I am going to save this to listen to again and again. My last therapist said to me "you sure have seen a lot of therapists". Yes, I have.
I have noticed that I pick up a good idea from you, and run with it for a while, and then I stop. Each little step forward is not followed by 2 steps back, but maybe only a half step back. So little by little progress is made.
Like you said I don't need to start a huge spread sheet of programmes to follow. But each day, do 1 thing towards wellness eg Monday wash 2 things off the kitchen bench🥤🍵, Tuesday take a 5 or 10 minute walk🚶♀ Wednesday chat to a stranger in the supermarket ... It really helps to break the pattern of doing no-things, nothing.
28 years or more struggling with depression, anxiety, recovery from trauma, but this is the year that it all changes. I love the way everyone contributes on here the things that work for them, and encourages each other. 🙋♀thank you 💛❤💙❤
Thank you for posting. Especially your prescription for iincremental steps towards wellness.
Very honest and truly sincere empathetic video. I can see that Your own mental health struggles have given you a unique perspective and insight into other people’s pain and suffering. You have a great gift for reaching out and helping others with realistic practical advice which we can all benefit from!( not some empty words we often hear)Thank you 😊 God bless 🌸
Thank you!
Having someone take 10 yrs to fix something in their life is easier when you are in your 20's or 30's or maybe in their 40's but if you are in your mid 50's and you're struggling to cope with life at this point, I'd have to say you're going to feel you are stuck and there will be a very small chance that you can fix your brokenness before you find the end of your existence. I have more days behind me than in front of me and that is a fact. No amount of work on myself is going to matter at this point. I will live a mediocre life and die alone, in poverty and that is just the truth as I see it. Empowering metaphors and dialogue from you is helpful in making me feel better but won't change these facts none the less.
I'm 60 years old, and unfortunately I feel the same. 😢I can't say I feel much hope at this point, even though I've recently returned to therapy after a 10-year break. Too many years have passed, and too much permanent damage has been done due to early trauma, and many life events in adulthood.
53 year - old woman here and I am able to relate to your experience pretty easily! ❤
Still...I rather choose to believe there is always hope...even it would never be seen as a visible change in my environment or financial situation. I know as for a fact that there is always a possibility for a positive change occurring within myself, for example, through self-compassion that I am practicing at the moment. It has and will chang my mindset (how I feel about myself and my situation) hugely..and I never know how it will affect my (or your) environment in the end. We never know for 100% sure. But we do know for a fact that our perceptions and expectations for life do effect...always...for better or for worse... so we might as well wait for something positive instead of the negative.
The potential disappointment (if nothing is going to change for the better) we fear so much sometimes will not hurt as much than knowing we did not even try to believe that we are worth of love and happiness.
As long as there is life, there is hope! ❤
Im not religious, but finding jesus allows you to accept your situation and not care, because there is a better outcome after death.
Ignore the heaven and death bit, but if you dont worry anymore about the future, life works itself out
@@noka214 yes I do believe that self compassion can help me in dealing with my life as it is, I just don't believe that it can change very much. Thanks
@@tdang9528 I am sorry but once I am dead I will be gone and nothing can happen after that. I don't believe in an after life
So wonderful. Thank you. "What is a meaningful life for me". I am going to think about that.
Dear Dr. Eilers I suffer from chronic migraines for 25 years. I have been hospitalized this week for this. I also have stomach issues. I just would rather be unalive. I am taking Maxalt, also Botox and I am getting migraines everyday now. I am sick of this. I spend my days in bed because I cannot function. I just want to throw in the towel! I exercise, I am conscientious about my diet and I try to be positive but with these constant migraines and no life because of this situation i am totally lost. It is extremely difficult. I was thinking the easiest way out is to starve myself to d!
Just sharing my story for my migraines. I had migraines ever since I was around 9 years. Debilitating, dark room, auras, fractured vision, noises killed me! I'm 68 now, and I had a TIA about 2009. I had also blood clots in both lungs around 1991. So with all the tests with the TIA being done, they performed a bubble test. Turns out I had a hole in my heart that hadn't closed when I was born. Got that closed and honestly I haven't had a headache since. Just wondering if you've had this checked? Hopefully you find some help and relief! Sorry you are so miserable!
@@LoriNuttall thank you Lori for sharing your story. I have been to 2 neurologists and they both came up with the same conclusion. I am was super stressed about my job. I was there for almost 14 years and they fired me. So now I have a lawyer and we are going for a bigger severance. I also dealing with the Labour board. I worked free during every Covid lockdown. My boss guilted and coerced me into helping her. My hubby is due for his 5 th surgery next month. There’s a lot going on. I can’t even get anything accomplished anymore! I constantly live in the back bedroom where it is nice, cool and dark. I really miss my benefits because now I am paying $200/month for just migraine meds alone. I can’t get any assistance because our household income is too high.
I just want this to end because I can’t live like this anymore.
@licksnkicks1166, I had one long Headache that lasted every day for 50 years.
Yes, For Real. Because the culprit causes a hangover.
& since I was unaware of the culprit which BTW, takes 21 days to get out of the system/body, I kept eating it.
So therefore I had a fifty year headache.
I have been recovering for the last 7 years.There was one ingredient in the food that I had to avoid and as long as I continue to avoid this one ingredient that is in all of the food, All of it.
It's called
excitotoxins, so No Headaches Anymore.
When I tell you I had a headache that lasted every day for 50 years. And I don't have headaches any more. What I'm telling you.Is this advice I have may work for others. I honestly feel this advice will save your life.
See Russell L. Blaylock
"Excitotoxins the Tase That Kills"
Here is how I do it. I eat & drink 1,000 % USDA Organic.
If it means you have to live on nothing but dried organic beans and dried organic rice, In terms of making it affordable to not have headaches, then that is what you do.
I have what is called MCS, multiple chemical sensitivity.
Again, This could be something that may help you. Actually, I feel very strongly that this will help you will save your life. And I hope & pray that it does. 🙏🏼
@licksnkicks1166, I had one long Headache that lasted every day for 50 years.
Yes, For Real. Because the culprit causes a hangover.
& since I was unaware of the culprit which BTW, takes 21 days to get out of the system/body, I kept eating it.
So therefore I had a fifty year headache.
I have been recovering for the last 7 years.There was one ingredient in the food that I had to avoid and as long as I continue to avoid this one ingredient that is in all of the food, All of it.
It's called
excitotoxins, so No Headaches Anymore.
When I tell you I had a headache that lasted every day for 50 years. And I don't have headaches any more. What I'm telling you.Is this advice I have may work for others. I honestly feel this advice will save your life.
See Russell L. Blaylock
"Excitotoxins the Tase That Kills"
Here is how I do it. I eat & drink 1,000 % USDA Organic.
If it means you have to live on nothing but dried organic beans and dried organic rice, In terms of making it affordable to not have headaches, then that is what you do.
I have what is called MCS, multiple chemical sensitivity.
Again, This could be something that may help you. Actually, I feel very strongly that this will help you will save your life. And I hope & pray that it does. 🙏🏼
@licksnkicks1166, I had one long Headache that lasted every day for 50 years.
Yes, For Real. Because the culprit causes a hangover.
& since I was unaware of the culprit which BTW, takes 21 days to get out of the system/body, I kept eating it.
So therefore I had a fifty year headache.
I have been recovering for the last 7 years.There was one ingredient in the food that I had to avoid and as long as I continue to avoid this one ingredient that is in all of the food, All of it.
It's called
excitotoxins, so No Headaches Anymore.
When I tell you I had a headache that lasted every day for 50 years. And I don't have headaches any more. What I'm telling you.Is this advice I have may work for others. I honestly feel this advice will save your life.
See Russell L. Blaylock
"Excitotoxins the Tase That Kills"
Here is how I do it. I eat & drink 1,000 % USDA Organic.
If it means you have to live on nothing but dried organic beans and dried organic rice, In terms of making it affordable to not have headaches, then that is what you do.
I have what is called MCS, multiple chemical sensitivity.
Again, This could be something that may help you. Actually, I feel very strongly that this will help you will save your life. And I hope & pray that it does. 🙏🏼
i appreciate no commercial breaks in video.
Something else that’s free is decluttering/organizing our rooms & homes - especially where we sleep. I do this professionally and see firsthand how much our immediate surroundings can affect our mental health.
Many of us don't have big places to store our things.
or the energy to clean and upkeep
Thank you for this video. I’ve been dealing with poor mental health since childhood. I’ll be 57 this October and though ***trigger warning *** I’ve attempted to take my own life in the past, my life now is so much better. I still struggle but I refuse to give up, I won’t let my former abusers get the better of me. They don’t matter, but my life and all the amazing people I’m surrounded by, including me, do. Hope is powerful, and I hope that everyone reading this values themselves ❤
You explain lack of hope or total loss of hope perfectly. I personally have tried many things and gone down many paths but always end up back in the same place.
You became your own person. Carved your own path. I wish I could.
It’s so exhausting to put the energy into the depression and anxiety and it’s exhausting putting energy into the solutions.
Can you please talk more about regrets and forgiving ourselves
My lying cheating abusive ex husband got away with everything, how can this be forgiven when I'm heartbroken and he is still not sorry
Omg i did not hurt anyone. I just let them hurt me because i was emmotionaly immature. I can not forgive myself because i think it was my problem that let them be abusive
@@youareloved8274hi there. I can feel the hurt. I have also been trough a lot..painfull separation. One thing i have learned is that when you forgive. Its more about you that the person, it is something that takes time, but when you are ready to forgive it because you a ready to let go of the burden you have been carrying. Its you cutting the ties with the feeling the person is causing in you. The fact that the person is still alive and living along is not something you should worry about. You should forgive ( when you are ready), so that you can move on in a sense. I hope this help a bit. Oh and by forgiving your are not forgetting or acknowledge that what the person did was right, it more about you choosing your sanity above the situation caused by the person.
@@shaimi26 , thank you for your message sir. I have forgiven my ex husband. I have Complex PTSD from him hitting me and shoving me into bathtub, in 2017, i didn't report it because they wouldn't have believed me. On top of calling me a worthless piece of trash and we have a son together. But he wanted to cheat I guess because he didn't want to be married or he got bored, I don't know, all I know is my son is suffering from all the damage my ex husband has caused, and he is walking around like he did nothing and is getting married to his girlfriend that he cheated on me with and my son is so confused right now. I don't hate my ex husband but I hate all the abuse and disrespect and hasn't taken responsibility for any of it. My mom said don't worry he won't get away with hurting people because God sees and hears everything, karma is coming
@@youareloved8274My Mother always said the Good Lord will handle it. You don’t have to do a thing.
I am a 70 years old and have been depressed since I was 10. I am a retired nurse RN and have even worked on psych units in hospital. Please help me, I don't want to die this way.
60 yrs old nurse here....
If I have any days of inner peace, it's worth it. Any happiness is worth it.
The root cause of the type of suffering you are speaking about imo, is that you were not properly attuned with and emotionally regulated by your parents as a child. Often the mother has the key role there but if the father is a strong positive and supportive figure in the child’s life I think the effects of emotional neglect by a mother can be mitigated. And potentially also close supportive relationships with siblings. If you didn’t have either of those then you carry that core wound throughout life, and it can be very difficult to self regulate. In this case we constantly look outside of ourselves to get the validation we should have received from our families to start with. But of course that rarely works, particularly not for very long. We essentially are always asking friends and partners to step into that parenting role, but of course they cannot and are not interested in doing that and it often leads to rejection, betrayal, resentment and other relationship difficulties. To recover you have to understand how that core wound happened, why it was likely to have happened, then reach a place of acceptance and /or forgiveness of your parents, siblings etc who you feel let you down in life. Realise they could not meet your needs then or now, and it is up to you to re-parent and self parent yourself. That means learning how to emotionally regulate yourself and set boundaries with yourself and with others. And then start to self actualise goals you want to achieve in your life, whether small or big.
Oof that part hit me in the guts- the life I want & that I would be happy with does not feel attainable.. not after years of trying & failing.. and the life that does feel attainable, is not what I want… and I don’t even want like riches, or to be on some pedestal or important in the world.. just being confident & comfortable in my own skin, to be bringing purpose to the world & helping others in a meaningful way, and have a FAMILY (blood + not blood), giving my kids a life that we are not in constant fucking STRUGGLE. Like that’s really it. To take all the SHIT I’ve been through in life & find a way to help others who are going through it.. to wake up feeling like there is purpose & meaning for me to be in this world, instead of dreading each new day & forcing myself out of bed every morning.
I hear you and feel the same. Will we ever feel freedom.
I feel your pain and that is no consolation, just another of the walking dead.
We should be thanking you, Scott, for giving us your time and understanding❤ I feel comfort when I see and hear you knowing I can believe who you are. Don’t ever change, you have had a long journey and arrived in the place you were destined to be. Thank you for every ounce of courage and determination it must have taken. When I need to I come straight over to you for a virtual hug and wise words. With love 💗
I have watched a few of your videos. I so enjoy and can relate to your positive common-sense approach. I watched this one after the fact. A number of things began popping into my mind that are personal to me, things that I do/can do which bring me some degree of pleasure/happiness. I paused the video and pretty quickly came up with a list of twelve: twelve little stair steps toward reducing depression and increasing positivity, well-being, and happiness. I knew that the more positives you get into your life, the better your chances of improving your depression. What got through to me was your pointing out that these positive actions can be very specific to each of us, and there can be 10, 20, 50 or more of them!
Thank you so much for the very valuable help you give at no charge!! ♥️
This is the truest way to grow. Not one thing, but a current of goodness to seek for me. “Slow is Steady, Steady is Fast”.
I have had therapist say “ you just need to buck up and get over it”
You are right it was me thinking I could find away and then I would find something to do . Music helped a great deal
I am a musician and play guitar in a band. Being a female guitar player can be hard at times because the guys get jealous that I can play better then them. Music has saved me so many times I can’t even count
Life is easy to fix if you just accept what you currently have and just not care anymore. Lots of words in his story and effort, but you have to just not care anymore.
Thank you so much for your compassion and experience Dr Eliers i’m sitting up watching your podcast, feeling hopeless as I’ve three adult children with addiction and mental health problems. My daughter is in recovery thank God but my two sons is still using. It’s so refreshing to see someone with a higher level of intelligence and God willing the system will catch up before it is to late. I live n Ireland and would love to be able to meet someone like you to get help from. God bless you, you are doing a great job! Mary🙏❤️
I love your authenticity Dr. Scott and your passion, and dedication- those traits alone will help so many people - thank you for your channel and support truly!!!
You're the best! Have never been able to find the help, outside myself. Have never had the resources, but, I think that stood me in good stead, because I learnt on my own. No one can ultimately make you happy or functional or thrive. It helps though to hear someone so qualified like you to give advice in such a non- judgemental and non- technical but real way. It is obvious that you know what you're talking about, because you've walked the talk, and experienced the worst of it yourself. Thanks again 🙏
Thanks for putting this up, Scott. I couldn't be there today, but I just watched and enjoyed your talk and answers to the questions. Your caring about people really came through. I also liked the Elder Scrolls reference about building your own life how you want it. Something I'm still working on. 😊 ✌️
Thanks for everything you do. It is just as hard when you know what you need but are unable to fulfill that need. Always know you have and are helping alot of people with these videos. It's nice to know you are not alone in your struggle.
Thank you for this refreshingly accessible kind and timely guidance.. even this anhedonic lost individual feels moved.. listening to each post twice in a row to get the fullest measure .. I hope you realise how much good karma you're generating..I'm a very very grateful subscriber
I could listen to you talk all day, Dr. Scott! I appreciate your content so much. Thank you ❤
I like that - finding a therapist is like dating. If you don’t like a therapist don’t think it’s you. Just find another one you do like. I wish I heard that a lot sooner.
We're not cookie cutters. What works for one might damage another
@@mightymouse1005 Right. For me, a therapist was different because they are in a position of authority. It took me a long time to figure out that it might not be me - that it might be that the therapist wasn't right.
This is my first time listening to your podcast thank you for your comments for us listening.this is just what I needed.Im 73
I believe you are correct in your assessment of the current state of mental health professionals. They are mostly phoning it in or they don’t know how to help people. (My opinion)
Only now realizing this is ongoing live feed. You’re a good man, Doc! Bless you.
This is why I like you. You are not stuck in a box! You just gave me information I needed
Thanks!
I’m so depressed I don’t know how I am going to get through this. Too many changes over the past 2 years. Multiple moves, loss of girlfriend/wifey, financial crisis, no friends etc
Love the video game metaphor, so true. You’re very different from other therapist. I think sharing your personal experiences, are key factors in being able to understand and help others. That’s what makes your approach to each individual, unique. Keep doing what you do, because you are about to be known world wide. I see over a million subscribers in the near future for you. God bless you 🙏 for helping so many.
OMG, you just made me realise something important.....I'm not fully committed to my own life; I've always got a way out, or several ways out. OK, I'm going to think about that and endeavour to make a change(s) there. Thank you.
Two reasons I don't live the way I want to live:
1. I really don't even know what I want. Who do I want to be? Nothing seems to fit. Everything attainable is boring and everything fun or cool is too difficult to be successful and make money doing it.
2. I am absolutely terrified of not having enough money to survive. I would rather die than be homeless. That fear has kept me in horrible, boring, mindless, meaningless, unfulfilling, dead-end jobs for most of my life. How do I break free and actually do something I want to do. Everything fun costs way more money than I am usually willing to fork over.
How do people break out of this? Fear is the mind killer, and it is decimating me! 😵💫😭
Also... in my experience...Therapy doesn't work for me. I think it's a combination of several factors. I hate CBT, I hate therapeutic tapping, I hate breathing exercises, and I especially hate any type of worksheet I might get from a therapist. It just feels like homework, makes me more anxious, and I am not going to do it. I tend to find it very difficult to trust therapists especially when they talk to me in that simpering voice like I'm super fragile and might break! Then there's Talk therapy, which is just venting, and it can make me feel better for a little while, but it doesn't actually solve the problem.
You sound like me but have hope and start maybe with reading for dummies books, at least looking over the various titles to see which ones interest you and then read some of them, maybe it'll peak your interest to what could be out there for you.
I'm struggling with severe flashbacks & body memories for the last two months related to C-PTSD & DID as a result of extensive childhood/adolescent trauna. This all triggered a Major Depressive episode. I'm a strong person, but this is all wearing me down. I know this will abate with time, but the suffering is really hard to cope with. Geez. I sound like I'm complaining. Thank you for your message of hope & healing.
Dr Gabor Mate excellent re CPTSD and Trauma ❤
I just read a great book on this subject. Rebecca C. Mandeville " Rejected Shamed & Blamed", also find her on UA-cam . I'm in the same boat. Hugs❤️
33:30ish - all that trauma is me
e: just finished. I LOVE your empathy & kindness. Psychopathic, narcissistic ex, who i am still trying to (financially) separate from is my main issue.
can't thank you enough for all that you do never the less. Thank you Dr Scott.
Scott it is so heartwarming that you are able to help your patients labelled as 'SPMI'. I'm a naturally skeptical person too and this enables me to look at everything with fresh eyes.
When you believe the lue, you become part of the lue. When you Rise above the lie, You Can Then Raise Others Above the Lie and into Peace and Hope! Thank you Dr.
Thank you for another great video. You constantly give me new perspectives on dealing with my issues. Also, to be able to identify with emotions and feelings that I really don't like about myself is helpful.
Hi, just found your channel.
Both my hubbie and I have been diagnosed with cancer, mine 1 yr. ago, him a few months ago.
I had chemo, radiation and am now on immunotherapy. He is starting radiation and hormone therapy.
I have had my good and bad days.
We are both in our 80's and married almost 64 yrs.
I look forward to being a part of your channel. Thank you.
Pray God heals and brings comfort to both of you
12:33 That brought tears to my eyes... "The only person who didn't give up on me... was ME ❤"
You give me hope , thank you. Everything you've said is definitely me. The deep hole I'm in , I'm slowly getting to the top . Baby steps
I feel much better just seeing and hearing how much care and compassion you talk with.
Your conforting mindset is humility. It makes people listen deeply.
"Perma-screwed!" I love that phrase. You have helped me deal with my devastating cancer surgery PTSD I realized I have been dealing with.
With kind respect sir, I lost hope 19 years ago, all in one fell swoop. A survivor of Childhood CPTSD, i had one thing that saved me my dream....then I lost that in 2005.....the fact that im still alive is strange.....such an empty life without my dream
Wat ws Yr dream
But you are still alive!! ❤❤❤
@@ryanwardcomedy to make a living off of music.
@@noka214 but i dont have anything left to live for. Not in a whoa is me way but just ....theres nothing that i enjoy in life so its pointless
@@Augfordpdoggie ah yeh I get u.. my dream was to make a living off acting and comedy...I still do it but I've given up on making a living from it
You are very relatable and plain spoken. Great!
I had depression anxiety early Feb 3rd time getting it bad last 14 years. My biggest problem is lonliness and being in a job thats not fulfilling and only 3 days a week. I have too much time off and having no partner or kids. I just relapsed this week after being well for 4 weeks. The doctor took me off 5mg of valium completely at night after being on it for 5 months. Surely I should have been weened off it. I got into the habit of gambling being off so much, it was mainly for company and to pass tye day. I think this also had a major factor in me getting depressed and anxious again. As I was beating myself up again for gambling and not looking after my mental health. Living on your own with mental health is very tough. No one to talk to or to have as company. I hope I can get better sooner and change a lot of my life for the better. Even to try and do charity work on the days I am off. I just get so frightened when the depression and anxiety comes back. My mum took her own life Jan 8th 2021 she had cancer but it was the isolation from covid that got into her head. She was my best friend, she was 76 😪
I can totally relate to you, I’m the same I only work three days in the office but it’s unfulfilling and I also don’t have a partner or children to distract me. If you start to build in small goals into your life it will start to feel just a little better and before you know it you’ll have a life that you’ll feel proud of. Takes ages tho 😢
What an amazing young man you are. You are the only one that gets me out of bed everyday. Researched lots. But you are the only one thst understands people.❤❤
So sorry I totally got your name wrong Dr Ellis. Forgive me for calling you Dr Scott. I'm 69 so I'm using that as my excuse. So embarrassing. ❤
Dear God I'm 69 I don't Have 10
Dear God I'm 69 I don't Have 1
Dear God I'm 69 I don't Have 1
Dear God I'm 69 I don't Have 1
"Future faking" is a term that pertains to narcissism. Narcissists tend to make false promises to their victims and then don't or can't follow through on said promise(s).
Thanks! I needed to hear this…
Thank you for finally making me feel seen. You really do get it,
Thanks!
Thank you!
Forty years in treatment for depression and PTSD. I really have lost hope.
Hey Doc, this is pretty great, thank you so much.
Reading so many comments, what a variety. There's a lot of pain. The human condition...
I'm 70, first entered therapy at 20, suicidal depression.
I always wanted to die, death wish central. Somehow I did not succumb to self destruction. I found great help w/therapists, friends. Forget romance, utter failure. Maybe the biggest thing was to become a dancer. I recommend the arts for emotional cripples. Art is where we learn transformation.
Thing is, ahem, I fired hope. Hope misleads me. Maybe I don't hope properly, there's so much i have done improperly. I do have faith, that without hope life can still be meaningful and enjoyable.
I have no reason to fear death after the violence I experienced. My midlife crisis occurred when I was one. Early childhood was a NDE. Sanity was amputated outa me. Had to quit drinking, 25 years. & yet, here I am.
I returned to therapy last year, after a crisis of acceptance. I thought I made peace with things, then it all blew up: I had accepted the unacceptable.
I heard a teacher recently say "Acceptance is relaxation of the mind". Pretty great!! Bargaining is a grasping unrelaxed, mind. Now what? Might not matter. 1 day at a time 🕊
One foot in, one foot out... that is the definition of my life. We moved to AZ from IL when I was 11 and I spent the next 30 years thinking I'd be moving from AZ to somewhere, anywhere else. So I spent all those years living a 'temporary' life and not making connections.
I heard something from Chase Hughes from the BehaviorPanel that made a lot of sense to me. He said to be your own butler. Instead of looking back with regret, look back in gratitude. So you may put your gym clothes out the night before to get ready for the gym. Or you put your dishes or clothes away before you go to bed. You may even tidy up a bit before bed so the morning is not a clutter of things that were not put away. Take Tiny steps to start and begin with feeling gratitude for doing something for yourself, instead or regret.
"Poverty is a hope and traction killer." How brutally and tragically true. And no one does a better job of creating poverty and then punishing the poor than the powers that run the US political economy.
Dr. Eilers, you are doing an invaluable public service by creating these videos. The fact that you have been to the bottom of the pit of despair yourself and worked your way out and up is the ultimate testament to the utility of hope. And just a message to all of us: we would not be here, watching these videos, if we had lost all hope. What would be the point?
I’ve reached out but nothing has changed. The last thing I want is to be in a psych ward, treated like a prisoner, or an unruly teenager. My narcissistic father had me committed every time he feared I’d expose his true self. I actually made a playlist last weekend, titled “I told you I needed help”. My little brother, only sibling, died tragically 11/29/22, and I had to make the playlist for his memorial. It was very painful for me. So, I made my own. I WANT desperately to feel better. At this point, due to an insurance change, I don’t even have a psychiatrist, nor do I have the willpower to try harder to get one. I’ve given up. I don’t plan on harming myself but I don’t want to live like this.
I find this channel terrific either as a back up to my own psychologist (yeaaaaah, I finally have one). I also find it helpful when something comes up I don't know how to deal with or just a reminder. I was desperate when I found it and it pulled me through until I found in person help and it still does help.
You help me a lot. I see hope through your words because anxiety and death is a very tiny line, even though people (without anxiety) do not acknowledge that.
“Future faking” is a term used in narcissistic abuse. It’s when a narcissist lies about making future plans to the person they are abusing / conning. As a therapist you should really know about Narcissistic abuse and borderline personality disorder. Many victims of this abuse present as deeply depressed and cognitively impaired, and a therapist who isn’t aware of the manipulations and strategies inflicted by narcissists will not be able to help their client, and will most possibly cause more damage.
Thank you for being a source of hope
Thanks
Thank you!
In my part of Canada anyone who is covered by our health care system is 1. I'd they are good and at a psychologist level, it's time limited or 2. If as long as you want you are probably getting a wholly underqualified social worker who will dig up your trauma and then let you walk out the door bawling and traumatized. They are the bottom of the barrel and do more damage than good. After months of retraumatizing you they will say I'm 'too complex' and they can't help me.
I learned not to even start UNLESS THEY ARE PSYCHOLOGISTS. I loathe psychiatrists. Luckily I have been blessed with an amazing rarity. A great psychologist in the public system that is not on a time limited basis! I went through major trauma x 5 in half as many years and a mental breakdown all without anyone....not 1 single person, not a friend, not a professional, not a shitty social worker. I pulled myself out as far as I could and tried the public system again. Another shitty social worker who was combative with me...yeah, just what I need! NOT. Complained and now I got what I asked for. She is a psychologist, absolutely great and calming who teaches techniques to start. She just coming back from being a new amputee so I got her at the right time...any longer and she would be fully booked and I'd be screwed. For the 1st time in 57 years I have hope....FIFTY SEVEN YEARS!
I agree. My shitty psychiatrist let my husband come into our meetings. Big mistake! Why? This is about me not him. We would leave his office fighting hardcore because of all the crap that we had discussed in our meeting. And the first thing he wanted to do was to medicate me. I need someone to talk to now because of a crisis I am currently going through. I will never trust a psychiatrist ever again. I will try to help myself. I am no longer working so I don’t have my benefits anymore and I can’t afford to go see a psychologist at $200 plus a visit. I also had a social worker try to help me. I didn’t like her one but. One visit and no more. I just feel like crap now!
I'm tired of having to figure out how to live. I'm tired of being resilient. If this is all there is to life, I just don't want it. Yet I'm still trapped here unable to leave.
I’ll fly over there to visit. You literally save my life e every single day. Thank you so much. I wish I know how to show appreciation
Just tumbled on to your videos and wow am I glad I did! I am 72, long ago diagnosed as being dissociative, ADD and depressed. Was prescribed meds, no talk therapy, and did that for a spell...fast forward to now and where I am not on meds except for Advil, spend time drawing, observing, writing and feel alright. Could I improve? Most certainly. I say this because I feel that I am in a freeze mode based on not having belief in me, which I know stunts my productivity. No outside stress. Very lucky there thanks to my partner in life. Sure wish I had a therapist like you. Everything I have heard you say just clicks with me.
Hope and purpose are difficult things for me to consistently have in my life.
Discovere you doctor today. Just listening to you talking sense is therapeutical. Thank you
Oh I’m excited to watch this. Thank you!
Really loved it. Thank you again for sharing your insight. Your videos have been so helpful
The wall layout behind you here is perfect. Don't add anything else.
I'm so glad to have found your videos. Best wishes.
I just found this channel and it resonates with me. All that you said made me take a blind leap of faith and moved sight unseen to Indiana. So far, i feel like the one of the best decision i have made in a long time. However, after listening to you, I'm scared i may relapse. In the back of my mind I'm waiting for the shoe to drop. I only had 2 sessions with 2 different therapists and i thought it was useless. However, after this podcast, i think i am going to sign up for therapy while everything is great!!! PS. I subbed 😊
Thanks scotty