He's a nice man and I'm glad he's doing so much better. I was in the same situation a few yrs ago and it's taken me these 3 yrs to change my thinking. It wasn't easy and I can't say I'm 100 now, but in a much better place.
I was bullied, too-I read somewhere that all kids are bullied a little, but the sensitive ones become targets. I was very sensitive, younger than the other kids, and I had a very weird name, and I was a foster kid. My little boy is 6-he started crying every morning before school, then he started crying after school, too, and begging me not to take him. He used to talk to me about everything, but it took him a long time to tell me that he was being bullied at school. I told his teacher, I told the school counselor…they said they’d discipline the bully, but they did not seem to appreciate or understand what this is doing to my little boy, who was so confident just a few months before. I decided not to take him back there. Ever since I have been worrying that I am failing him in some way-somehow he should be able to overcome this, maybe I didn’t give him what he needs, maybe I’m teaching him to run away… Hearing you describe what bullying did to you- Of course I have to protect him. I’m sensitive, my son is sensitive, and that’s okay, and it means I have to do everything I can do to make sure school is safe for him, and they could not do that there.
Six is so young! And ordinary teasing is very different from bullying -- it isn't a matter of being more sensitive than other children because *no* child can withstand bullying. No child should ever be subjected to bullying. Teasing and bullying are NOT on a continuum. Bullying and abuse are on a continuum. Bullying is on a continuum with crime. There are countries where workplace bullying can result in prison time. When adults go to a school reunion, they might recall teasing and laugh about it with their old friends, including those who teased them. _No one_ laughs about bullying, EVER. It leaves deep scars.
I was not bullied super bad, but I was always made fun of and shut down when I did something weird or loud or expressive. I was sensitive and was not protected from this kind of stuff so I just learned to shut myself down to avoid it. After many years of being told I’m too quiet and that I need to put myself out there, and then being made fun of when I do, I will say that it never gets better to just tough it out when your a sensitive person and/or when you don’t have unconditional love in your life. It is so deeply ingrained into me now as a 19 year old, I’m afraid I will never be able to be completely confident with myself. I’ve learned to deal with it a bit more now, but I believe every bit of criticism I hear about myself. I never even thought as a kid that sometimes people just want to be mean, and sometimes people are wrong about you, I just learned to be perfect so no one would ever say anything bad about me. I think sensitive kids just need to be taught that they are good enough and nobody else can tell them who they are. If they can truly believe that they are right, they won’t be a target but a role model.
You're an awesome mom for doing all that. He sounds like he could use a male coach for confidence or maybe a safe maftial arts class with a kind teacher that is compassionate to your sons story. ❤❤❤
I have been suicidal most of my life and have been on antidepressants for a spell. Things that seem to be happening to me make no sense when I believe I'm a good person with nothing but the best intentions for others, but I still get treated the way I do. Thoughts of suicide had been increasing lately which is why I'm watching content such as this. The thought of causing more pain to my children is enough to keep me from doing anything rash. I hope. I've had some good times. I'm in some challenging times right now, to put it mildly. I have to believe there are good times ahead. I do have much to be grateful for. I'm only a couple of minutes into this interview but I had to comment about the realization of causing more harm upon my exit. Thank you so much to both of you for this interview. Thank you for your vulnerability. Thank you for your compassion for others. I love you both and I think I can say I love me too
I relate to having a pretty good childhood and going through depression and suicidal ideation too. I always felt guilty for feeling like this because I can't pinpoint traumas I felt were worthy of this depression. I'm glad you addressed the stereotype.
Don't feel guilty. I know what you mean but don't. Lots of little traumas can easily have the same impact as one big one - but they're much more complicated to deal with for being in such a diaphanous state. Sadly, the world is not ready to accept that your diaphanous thing is just as worthy of compassion as another's single big thing. Couple that with the emerging reality that we are all wired differently and some of us, for better and worse, are dramatically more sensitive (in all sorts of ways) than others. Sensitivity is not something that we can or should try to diminish. So, you have been able to identify some traumas? And, using the measure that has been given to you, none of them appear big enough to be classed as traumas? The measure might need calibration. Also, perhaps some of your 'little traumas' are interacting with each other to create massive impacts. You may be looking at events in isolation. Even if they did originate as isolated events (unusual for it to happen like that) they have probably not remained isolated from each other. You've now got a veritable eco system going on. It's several generations/iterations/recombinations down the line and a colony might have formed.
This is me. I felt bad and guilty growing up feeling really, really unhappy and, in fact, didn't want to exist at all. But I couldn't say what was wrong in my childhood or any obvious traumas. I felt guilty because I thought I should be feeling grateful, but I was unable to feel it. And there was no reason for me to feel so despondent.
I have a family history of trauma, addiction and mental illness, and have suffered severely with depression and anxiety for almost my whole life - these videos you do, Scott, have been an absolute Godsend for me recently, and I've taken a lot from them and am now trying to turn it all around. Massive respect to Chris for sharing his story and to you for sharing all your info. Thank you so much, from one of your British subscribers 🇬🇧🫡💪🏻
Have you ever listened to Nightwish? They had an opera singer, Tarja. Those were the times. When I was 14, I thought that music was the best music in the world. Now, 15 years later, I still find it kinda hard to argue with that 😂
Yeah, they're both very theatrical performances, I heard somewhere in the past that Metal was intself almost directly related to Opera, although I don't know where I heard that and I have no source on that
Yeah, they're both very theatrical performances, I heard somewhere in the past that Metal was intself almost directly related to Opera, although I don't know where I heard that and I have no source on that
It is healing to hear "normal" people talk who hadn't a very traumatic childhood or so talk about their way. It is so much more reliable and comprehensive to my life.
....Beautiful people....Thanks for sharing. To the both of you and to all the people who will pass by, all the best and all my encouragement. I'm so grateful to have found this channel...what a gift!
Fellow metal head here !! I know this was a side bar conversation but I totally agree, the majority of the metal culture is about strength and perseverance. And musically it’s far more advanced than most other genres of music. Love this channel even more now ! 🤘
The AA model is to act "as if" you are the person you want to be. In AA the "steps" teach you to do the things you may not want to, to create a different perspective on who you "think" you are.
Thank you for the great interview. It is refreshing to find a podcast that has not quite “hit the big time” as those big podcasts interview “big” people with “big” inspiration stories which are inspiring but often feel just like you said at 51:19, “whether things like what you said sound basic and cliché or meaningful depends on who is saying them.” When listening to the more popular podcasts with people who are now reaching a kind of podcast/pop-figure celebrity status it is quite hard to imagine oneself “making it” to that sort of status (for lack of a better term). Please do not get me wrong, Christopher has a wonderfully inspirational story, I just mean that the way he talks about his own story makes it seem like those of us who struggle can do it and it is not insurmountable. Finally, my little gratefulness today - I am very grateful to my wise boyfriend (whose wisdom often goes unacknowledged) who pointed me to your podcast. It is too true that what a prophet says is not often respected by the people who know him/her (Mark 6:4, Luke 4:24).
I think for some people who have depression/anxiety it’s not so much the internal things but the external things that wear us down… 21st Century life just wears us down! Too many macro things …
Thank you for this. I grew up smaller and then fatter, always loved metal, played lots of guitar and then eventually got into bodybuilding and powerlifting. Depression and passive SI followed me always and now recently I felt a low much worse than ever before to the point that I’m now open (even desperate) for help. I can relate to this conversation so much and from the bottom of my heart I thank you both.
Wow, i need this right now. I have been working hard on myself. It has been a tough ride. It's not easy dealing with demons every day. And some days are harder than others. Im still learning not to give up so easily and keep getting up doing things to help my mental health. It's a long, hard road. I have hope after not having any for most of my life. I, too, got to that point of nearly dying and didn't care what happened to me. Then something in me just clicked, and since then, i have been trying very hard to get back on track. I want to help myself to be able to help others like me. ❤ Thanks so much, both of you, for sharing this 😊 so i can continue on my way to recovery Xx
That is such a beautiful and healing sentiment that resonates with me. The one thing I hang onto is that perhaps we're being conditioned so that we may be better equipped to help others going through it. I wish you a glorious and fruitful road ahead of you
Dr Scott, in many of your wonderful videos you say we have to be the change, that no-one else is going to save us. So true and finally accepting. Trouble is, at 70, I'm totally worn out after decades and trying to reinvent myself so many times but within the framework of 42 yr married to undiagnosed until the end to man with Aspergers. Now we are completely cut off, I just can't do this any more. My gastank of self help and self love is to try heal myself is completely empty yet again but realise no possibility of starting to fill it again. If I had one person left to connect with, maybe. I'm too tired and broken . I try but fail daily. I think the clincher is you and Chris have youth and family on your side. Even then look how many years it took you both and you still have to be vigilant. At 70 and alone, there is no time left. If only I could be here knowing i was in a neurodiverse relationship and more importantly, found your work many decades ago. Your sharing has resonated with ne so much, I could believe I could make it but not enough time left to scratch the surface, especially so alone and isolated with no-one. I'm glad for the younger people who will survive and thrive following your wisdom. Tears here now wishing I had a chance too😢
I completely understand and appreciate your pain. I'm in the same situation that you explained. I'm 60 and have spent years in therapy to work on all my issues, however to no avail . Everytime I feel like I'm Healing, situations come back around and throws me right back into day 1. I am alone in this battle for my life, my children hate me so we don't have a relationship, and what's left of my family is just as sick as me, so no relationship there either. It's a very lonely place to be, but I can't bring anyone else into my life because the last couple of years people who I thought were friends, weren't and they took advantage of my pain, so now I don't trust anyone. I feel you and I appreciate your honesty.
@@golden1789 do i want to spend my years left until 90 "working hard" on therapy for small improvements? When do we get to reap any rewards. I just want peace and rest. Brain and body don't want to work any more. Besides, stat's say people like me have 16 yrs less to live than those without mental health problems. The only people who get to 90 are those who have lived the lives that brought them love, kindness and peace. Thank you for your kind post. I sincerely hope you reach your goal x
I can relate to things as well am in my 60's life seems to be one hiccup after another o get bullied used even by family unless you realise what going on with yourself your life will be a merry go round, I think self help is the best for us type of people , I believe after plenty of counselling over years they just line there pocket trust your GUT
I am going through a tough time with anxiety and suicidal ideation through loss of my close family and friends. I am in hospital and waiting for counselling to start. I tell myself that my brain is lying to me, just the pain gets strong. I would love this to get better soon.
Moving can be huge and life changing. I am really relating to that right now, two years into a move myself and still feeling like an outsider in ways. I’m so inspired to see the light you created in your tunnel. It gives me hope with my depression. Thanks for sharing 😊
Blown away by this podcast. BOTH are genuine, authentic and able to connect to because of their lived experience which we can relate to. Please Dr Scott do more podcasts with similar format ie there IS NO scripted format or lecture. Just 2 people sharing stories and ideas which we can feel seen and validated in many points.
Just saw this video today and when they say things happen at a time for a reason it is so true. Thank you both. I desperately needed this at this point in my life.
I really relate to this story in some ways. I have struggled with suicidal ideation for years now. For me it's because of childhood abuse. I also nearly succeeded in taking my life. I stopped taking life saving medication. After passing out one day I was sent to the hospital and when I arrived my heart stopped beating. Thankfully I was brought back after about 20 minutes and realized this way of living isn't sustainable. I've been working to make changes in my life, but now I am so motivated to try new things and actually build a life worth living. I have to stop listening to this part of me that wants to avoid everything and give up. Thank you both for this video!
I’ve incorporated a little walk every day and it’s really helping me. It’s like if we don’t move we loose. This is an Awesome Interview! Chris is great! PS My first album was Black Sabbath too!😊♥️👍
19:50 exactly.. I began my long journey in 1991 at 26 alcoholic and it made sense to me.. what I was doing got me here.. so I flipped the coin. It was a no brainer. It worked.. WHEN I flipped the coin. However after multiple 30 day rehabs / halfway houses I finally hit my bottom.. 2016 at 52years learned about CPTSD and went to another rehab.. then stayed in 1/2 way 3/4 house for 3 years.. and been sober since 2016 and You Tube really saved me during Covid when I got my own apartment.. divorce.. this guy is telling my story .. I’m 60years old and grateful for every experience that got me here!
I identified with Christopher so much it was uncanny and have been.having passive suicidal ideations when i got really sick with several autoimmune conditions and had three "should've died" events and/or NDEs within a period of seven years. Watching this video was uplifting and helpful when I needed it.
I have struggled since childhood....I am typing this before I have listened....but I never had a mothers love... she seemed incapable...I am 60... I think I was over critical of my kids so they distanced as older adults.... I think not having a mothers love is a life long burden After listening my comment is out of place as you had a good mum it appears.... maybe you are an empath and we feel more...too much..
What an incredible sense of self-awareness (I actually wrote this before he said it in the video, BTW). To intuitively fight back against the inner bully that never relents, and tell it where to go, is pretty remarkable. What a great role model for children and adolescents too. Before they become adults with a million bad habits, most insidious of which is self-abuse. I am so impressed and inspired by this man. If he could do what he did from the point he was at, then why can't I? Why can't any of us? So awesome. More of these videos, please!!!
Thing is, when you say, "It is cliche, when someone you know who has always been okay..." That is SO invalidating. For much of my life, people have been telling me things like, "But you wouldn't understand, because you don't have problems." And I was actually suicidal, when that particular one was leveled at me. Because I'm high-functioning, others will tend to assess that "I'm okay", (whether or not that is true), place expectation/burden on me (because they think I'm more okay than they are, so I owe that), and never even ask or consider the realities of my lived experience. I think you're awesome, love your content, and you do an amazing job on here. But, my friend, we really need to check ourselves, when we start judging what we think we know about the experiences of other people. Hope your mind is open to consider this view, and thanks again for the great content.
I told my doctor this last visit that I was mostly ok because I'm still showering and making it to work and keeping some engagements... but I was having passive suicidal ideation almost every day. He kinda smiled and said "we call that high functioning depression" and immediately offered me some medicinal options (I'm already in therapy). I was so grateful he didn't blow me off... the ideations were coming FAR more frequently than before. Doing a bit better now but it's still an uphill climb.
Music (especially metal) has gotten me through a lot! Since I was a teen. Even today, some people wonder how I can listen to some of the stuff I do (like some death core such as Lorna Shore) cause they think it's so "angry" but it's really not! Other stuff is very heavy in terms of topics/emotion (such as Linkin Park) but it all just takes me to a place I need to go to. Music is definitely the thing that helps gets me through depression and anxiety. Really glad Chris has gotten to where he's at! It's tough work, still trying to get there myself.
What a gorgeous man, I used to have the same thing with alcohol, its so horrible, the withdrawal is trying to be how I used to it before that, never ever happened
I feel like a lot of this resonates with me. I've never been suicidal persay, more just thoughts of it would be so much easier if i never existed and didn't have to deal. I have ptsd and panic disorder. I feel like at this point in my life the panic disorder is much more prevalent. I am on medication and see a shrink and a therapist. However I more feel like all I've learned is how to "cope" or how to make it go away temporarily, which just makes it worse in the long run. They say cbt is supposed to be effective for panic disorder but I have found it is not at all. I've felt sooo stuck for the last 15 years. Ive managed to get my medical coding credentials but am too terified to actually get a job doing it. My panic makes me fear about everything. I leave the house now thanks to meds and some sheer willpower but there are still things that my panicky brain tells me I cant do. Driving on freeways or alone, work (Ive been on disability for awhile which i hate!), be social. I used to be very social and outgoing and its turned my life into a very isolated place. Thankfully I have a family and fiancee but they just dont get it, they say they do but what they see is just the tip of the iceberg so to speak. I wonder if you have any advice or could do a video on panic disorder and how to go about trying to unstick myself. Ive read about every self help book out there and watched a ton of youtube content. I do really like how you can relate to people having been there yourself. Would just really love some insight. I know Im very smart, kind, caring but I feel like Im not living up to my potential and it kills me.Before my accident I was fearless and was in nursing school and doing great, but after that it all fell apart and I havent been able to put myself back together again.
You have to do the things that cause joy, even if the action doesn't cause joy. You have to vocalize to yourself the behavior. There's a lot of action associated with changing depression. One of the hardest is developing coping skills for when you live with abusers. Here's a morbid thought - the reason for living with abusers can be due to economic, societal, developmental reasons. Having skills to cope prevents further despair. In certain circumstances, depressed people have had to live with abusers for decades, maybe centuries depending on the discussion. It's the coping skills that are important. Abusers can lead to behaviors in depressed people that worsen the depression - some people really do die of depression, it's a mysterious death. Loneliness, is typical in depression - loneliness leads to deaths of ignominy - if you are alone who can remember or find you in the depression. My depression gets worse in the winter, it's very typical for the weather. Going outside is awful and I don't recommend it, it's awful and it's better to live somewhere else.
The main concept I understood was victim: Yes, it must be emasculating for myself to admit to victim mentality. Things happened to me - because of my "family", my "mother". Things move around me without asking or noticing me. People ignore me. Tasks happen to me. "Jobs" happen to me. That mentality is very detached and ghostlike, especially for a male. The desire to experience control is a factor, overprotective parents can exacerbate depression. The personality would be confusing to talk about as a "type" - passive, helpless, callow, backbiting, piteous, "sensitive" but to social victim situations. The male would be "useless" and seen as weak. Probably due to male authority issues due to paternal abuse. Any form of denial elicits helplessness and engagement of "rumination" meant to demoralize the victim.
Over time the rumination leads to a "spiral". At first the self hate is diffuse, the victim is merely blaming themselves. "I'm so stupid, I'm so stupid, I'm so stupid". Eventually a thought sticks and the victim now has more self hate. Stupid becomes foolish becomes retarded becomes imbecilic, etc. soon behaviors are generated that prevent joy - "I don't garden because I am too stupid" - cognitive block of the "joy action". That depression doesn't seem harmful at first. I'm so careless, I'm so careless, I'm so careless. Now a self-care cognitive block is formed. If you exercise you'll feel better. You stop noticing form and you hurt yourself. I'm so careless I'm so stupid I'm so careless. Now the cognitive block can spread. Careless enough to not brush teeth. Careless enough to not shower. Careless enough to not launder. The spiral continues but still no actual self harm thought has occurred. I hate myself, I hate myself I hate myself. No you don't. Yes you do. The victim can't decide what to do. To initiate the self harm, the hate has to be done "accidentally". One day you'll be cutting nails and the scissors slip and a cut happens. Oh well - still no self harm thought formed. Eventually if the depression is that bad, the writing becomes "one day I noticed that I was slicing the skin off my feet until they bled, oh well". Depression, does involve"gaps" because frequently people won't state how their "repeated thoughts" evolved and changed. The "examples" I gave are only meant to bluntly describe a basic situation. I would do that to myself constantly. I hate my life, for 30 minutes, then 31, 32. Over the course of time that could be 30 minutes over 24hrs and become highly disjointed. That to me sounds not good, that implies that actions have become anhedonic and concentration is being affected. Peaks and troughs, that to someone else are flat. Long term those spirals become more intense, they can really hurt and cause someone to lash out unexpectedly. Depression as a child is simple - dissatisfaction. Even in abusive cultures, children's depression is "simpler" because things can be made to appear different.
I am glad for Chris, he figured out how to manage his depression. When I was his age I exercised too. Ate pretty healthy, educated myself. However the depression got worse to the point of incapacity, so deep I just could not get up. I mean how do you stay motivated and strength when relapses occurs. Anhedonia.
Excellent conversation. Well done to both of you for picking yourselves up and fighting through and then helping others do the same. You're both an inspiration. I too WILL chain my demons! Thank you 🙏
Amazing video. I’ve always known I should quit reading so much on the Internet, but it’s really neat how he explained the reasons why and how it benefits us.
Thank you so much Christopher for sharing your story! You said so many things that resonate! You give me hope and inspire me to continue to keep trying! Thank you!
I’m so depressed I can hardly handle being in my own skin right now. I’m very desperate inside I’m about to lose it. I need hope! I’m so fearful right now I can’t stand myself what I’m suffering. I feel trapped in this hell without an escape! Please God save me! Somebody assure me I’m gonna be able to change this. I don’t even have the energy anymore. I never unable to change I’m stuck! I need help!!!!!
Love this conversation. Thank you so much. Completely love hearing about how metal music has helped you both. Metal and hardcore especially have been a great avenue for healing, growth, processing emotion for me, and the culture and live shows have been so positive for my mental health. Hardcore culture has the potential to be especially great for substance recovery too, depending on the scene you're a part of.
@@DrScottEilers From scanning his online offerings, I suspect he needs skilled assistance to organize and execute putting himself on the Internet efficiently. I imagine that kind of VA could be pricey?
Funny you say that about metal. I always loved it. I had friends in metal bands in Seattle. My fiancee loves norwegian metal. His favorite is Amon Amarth. I think thats how you spell it lol. Thats his motivational, feel good music.
First it's so cool that I found out that you are from Iowa. I wish I could utilize you as my counselor/therapist. Next, the whole metal thing was awesome as a metal head and I'm about to finish my album based off my reading of The Divine Comedy. The visual of a demon being shackled would be perfect for the concept. If you don't know, The Divine Comedy is split into 3 books, Inferno, where it's about the poet's journey through Hell, then Purgatorio where he journeys through Purgatory, then Paradiso, where he his guided by his beloved through the celestial bodies, Paradise/Heaven. I would love permission to use that visual and just the fact you two were talking about it, has guided me out of a severe despair, after some mistakes. And I have all the tracks ready. Maybe it will help someone. Anybody an artist?
I used to love exercise and it used to help alot but i have had severe chronic fatigue for 2 years, even with being healthy and im so tired even if i force myself to the gym i cant get through 10 min of a workout without feeling so exauhsted i cant stand it
It sounds hokey but athletes manifest by visualizing their outcome for their race or their competition. It might be worth trying to start as Neville Goddard taught, to feel the wish fulfilled. Currently creating the self-concept that I’m no longer a yo-yo Dyer that I’m present and choose to take a step forward even if I only do two different types of weights in the gym or go for a 10 minute walk sometimes that starts off a chain of energy
When I was in 5th. grade, my teacher, and my entire class bullied me. Why? I don't know. But I did read yrs. later, that it was the " way" it was in those days, in a certain grade, the teacher would start picking on a student, then the entire class would copy him making fun of me( I would sit at my desk and bite my lip) the entire year. I could never go to my parents, they didn't care what was happening in school. Hopefully, this doesn't happen to anyone.
I don't forgive my bullies. No way. Just because people are young doesn't mean their behavior is excused. They only made me stronger though, so I've moved on from the pain.
I am happy I am just not achieving much. I rather be more functional. That function IS dependent on the external receptivity and allowance. So.....I do not want to live where I am not Allowed to live.
I am feeling I am no longer depressed. Now I am extremely angry - angry with my oncologist, my surgeons, my PCP...I no longer believe a word from their mouth(s) and have cancelled future appointments for any further follow-up CT scans or bloodwork. I hope every day my cancer comes back STILL and I am punching myself in the gut and side and still have curtailed no longer eating protein or food to sustain long term living. I am surviving on coffee with cream and white sugar and bread and a little cream cheese. Life stinks and my surgeons destroyed my life.
I had cancer too. I’m an old lady in my 70s but can I share what I learned? ….and that is I can’t control very many things. Only myself and that not very well. But a really good therapist told me that if I’m stuck in a hole I’m going to feel shitty. So if I’m going to feel bad anyway, why not dig myself out and feel bad while I’m digging. Either way it’s just hard. I hope you find your way.
Heavy metal was cathartic, frequency Hi Vibe.. I liked Judas Priests, Scorpions, Metallica.. ✌️ I’m a born again Christian, I still appreciate Rocking.. music tames my beasts.. release Trauma,, let it visit, and SHOW it the Door!🚪 33lps..
Very good interview but you almost lost me when you got onto the topic of metal music. But I stuck it out 😆 Just found this video today, so I’m looking forward to the second Interview with this guy
I’ve incorporated a little walk every day and it’s really helping me. It’s like if we don’t move we loose. This is an Awesome Interview! Chris is great! PS My first album was Black Sabbath too!😊♥️👍
I have been doing this as well and it’s been a big game changer. I have to drop my kids off in the morning at school which is close to a park. Every morning after I drop them I make it my mission to do 2 laps (one mile) around that park. No more and no less. (Had to tweak it until I found what worked for me in this season of my life). Trying to make it a consistent habit before I amp it up to speed walking and doing more laps.
“Nutrition, physical activity and sleep” 👏🏾 👏🏾 👏🏾
He's a nice man and I'm glad he's doing so much better. I was in the same situation a few yrs ago and it's taken me these 3 yrs to change my thinking. It wasn't easy and I can't say I'm 100 now, but in a much better place.
I was bullied, too-I read somewhere that all kids are bullied a little, but the sensitive ones become targets. I was very sensitive, younger than the other kids, and I had a very weird name, and I was a foster kid.
My little boy is 6-he started crying every morning before school, then he started crying after school, too, and begging me not to take him. He used to talk to me about everything, but it took him a long time to tell me that he was being bullied at school.
I told his teacher, I told the school counselor…they said they’d discipline the bully, but they did not seem to appreciate or understand what this is doing to my little boy, who was so confident just a few months before.
I decided not to take him back there.
Ever since I have been worrying that I am failing him in some way-somehow he should be able to overcome this, maybe I didn’t give him what he needs, maybe I’m teaching him to run away…
Hearing you describe what bullying did to you-
Of course I have to protect him. I’m sensitive, my son is sensitive, and that’s okay, and it means I have to do everything I can do to make sure school is safe for him, and they could not do that there.
Good for you! In the old days parents told kids to fight it out or worse, they ignored the kid being bullied. Like it was normal.
Six is so young! And ordinary teasing is very different from bullying -- it isn't a matter of being more sensitive than other children because *no* child can withstand bullying. No child should ever be subjected to bullying.
Teasing and bullying are NOT on a continuum. Bullying and abuse are on a continuum. Bullying is on a continuum with crime.
There are countries where workplace bullying can result in prison time.
When adults go to a school reunion, they might recall teasing and laugh about it with their old friends, including those who teased them. _No one_ laughs about bullying, EVER. It leaves deep scars.
I was not bullied super bad, but I was always made fun of and shut down when I did something weird or loud or expressive. I was sensitive and was not protected from this kind of stuff so I just learned to shut myself down to avoid it. After many years of being told I’m too quiet and that I need to put myself out there, and then being made fun of when I do, I will say that it never gets better to just tough it out when your a sensitive person and/or when you don’t have unconditional love in your life. It is so deeply ingrained into me now as a 19 year old, I’m afraid I will never be able to be completely confident with myself. I’ve learned to deal with it a bit more now, but I believe every bit of criticism I hear about myself. I never even thought as a kid that sometimes people just want to be mean, and sometimes people are wrong about you, I just learned to be perfect so no one would ever say anything bad about me. I think sensitive kids just need to be taught that they are good enough and nobody else can tell them who they are. If they can truly believe that they are right, they won’t be a target but a role model.
@@Calle.Hutch.. Find your art.
People like you become writers and actors. It's hard, but easier than this.
You're an awesome mom for doing all that. He sounds like he could use a male coach for confidence or maybe a safe maftial arts class with a kind teacher that is compassionate to your sons story. ❤❤❤
Physical activity is so important and it's frustrating not to be able to because of health limitations.
Yes and mental health aswell as physical is a limitation too.
Im in that boat rn
For whatever it's worth, i, a stranger from the Internet, can see the value in and of you. It shines. You shine.
How lovely for you to use that word “shine”.
I have been suicidal most of my life and have been on antidepressants for a spell. Things that seem to be happening to me make no sense when I believe I'm a good person with nothing but the best intentions for others, but I still get treated the way I do. Thoughts of suicide had been increasing lately which is why I'm watching content such as this. The thought of causing more pain to my children is enough to keep me from doing anything rash. I hope. I've had some good times. I'm in some challenging times right now, to put it mildly. I have to believe there are good times ahead. I do have much to be grateful for. I'm only a couple of minutes into this interview but I had to comment about the realization of causing more harm upon my exit. Thank you so much to both of you for this interview. Thank you for your vulnerability. Thank you for your compassion for others. I love you both and I think I can say I love me too
I relate to a lot of what you just said. Stay strong brother!
I relate to having a pretty good childhood and going through depression and suicidal ideation too. I always felt guilty for feeling like this because I can't pinpoint traumas I felt were worthy of this depression. I'm glad you addressed the stereotype.
Don't feel guilty. I know what you mean but don't. Lots of little traumas can easily have the same impact as one big one - but they're much more complicated to deal with for being in such a diaphanous state. Sadly, the world is not ready to accept that your diaphanous thing is just as worthy of compassion as another's single big thing. Couple that with the emerging reality that we are all wired differently and some of us, for better and worse, are dramatically more sensitive (in all sorts of ways) than others. Sensitivity is not something that we can or should try to diminish. So, you have been able to identify some traumas? And, using the measure that has been given to you, none of them appear big enough to be classed as traumas? The measure might need calibration. Also, perhaps some of your 'little traumas' are interacting with each other to create massive impacts. You may be looking at events in isolation. Even if they did originate as isolated events (unusual for it to happen like that) they have probably not remained isolated from each other. You've now got a veritable eco system going on. It's several generations/iterations/recombinations down the line and a colony might have formed.
@@batintheattic7293That's such a good explanation. Really deserves more attention for that
This is me. I felt bad and guilty growing up feeling really, really unhappy and, in fact, didn't want to exist at all. But I couldn't say what was wrong in my childhood or any obvious traumas. I felt guilty because I thought I should be feeling grateful, but I was unable to feel it. And there was no reason for me to feel so despondent.
same
I have a family history of trauma, addiction and mental illness, and have suffered severely with depression and anxiety for almost my whole life - these videos you do, Scott, have been an absolute Godsend for me recently, and I've taken a lot from them and am now trying to turn it all around.
Massive respect to Chris for sharing his story and to you for sharing all your info.
Thank you so much, from one of your British subscribers 🇬🇧🫡💪🏻
Scott, you are a godsend to a lot of us. Especially at this time in our chaotic messed up world.
@user-lf2lf6wy4z thank you very much for your kind comment. God bless
About trying to have a happy life. When you understand how powerful you are you realize you are in control of how you want to live
As an opera singer this is the first time I’ve heard anyone agree with my feeling that metal so relates to opera. Great interview! 💞
Have you ever listened to Nightwish? They had an opera singer, Tarja. Those were the times. When I was 14, I thought that music was the best music in the world. Now, 15 years later, I still find it kinda hard to argue with that 😂
@@ca7582 I will take a listen. I did hear that Taylor Swifts grandmother ex opera sang vocals on one of her tracks ;)
Yeah, they're both very theatrical performances, I heard somewhere in the past that Metal was intself almost directly related to Opera, although I don't know where I heard that and I have no source on that
Yeah, they're both very theatrical performances, I heard somewhere in the past that Metal was intself almost directly related to Opera, although I don't know where I heard that and I have no source on that
They both come directly from the heart.
It is healing to hear "normal" people talk who hadn't a very traumatic childhood or so talk about their way. It is so much more reliable and comprehensive to my life.
How lovely of you to invite this gentlemen.
....Beautiful people....Thanks for sharing. To the both of you and to all the people who will pass by, all the best and all my encouragement. I'm so grateful to have found this channel...what a gift!
Fellow metal head here !! I know this was a side bar conversation but I totally agree, the majority of the metal culture is about strength and perseverance. And musically it’s far more advanced than most other genres of music. Love this channel even more now ! 🤘
I lived in the pit of despair for a long time too. I shorten it to just The Pit. So glad that's behind us. It's hard to climb out.
The AA model is to act "as if" you are the person you want to be. In AA the "steps" teach you to do the things you may not want to, to create a different perspective on who you "think" you are.
Thank you for the great interview. It is refreshing to find a podcast that has not quite “hit the big time” as those big podcasts interview “big” people with “big” inspiration stories which are inspiring but often feel just like you said at 51:19, “whether things like what you said sound basic and cliché or meaningful depends on who is saying them.” When listening to the more popular podcasts with people who are now reaching a kind of podcast/pop-figure celebrity status it is quite hard to imagine oneself “making it” to that sort of status (for lack of a better term). Please do not get me wrong, Christopher has a wonderfully inspirational story, I just mean that the way he talks about his own story makes it seem like those of us who struggle can do it and it is not insurmountable.
Finally, my little gratefulness today - I am very grateful to my wise boyfriend (whose wisdom often goes unacknowledged) who pointed me to your podcast. It is too true that what a prophet says is not often respected by the people who know him/her (Mark 6:4, Luke 4:24).
I think for some people who have depression/anxiety it’s not so much the internal things but the external things that wear us down… 21st Century life just wears us down! Too many macro things …
Thank you for this. I grew up smaller and then fatter, always loved metal, played lots of guitar and then eventually got into bodybuilding and powerlifting. Depression and passive SI followed me always and now recently I felt a low much worse than ever before to the point that I’m now open (even desperate) for help. I can relate to this conversation so much and from the bottom of my heart I thank you both.
Keep watching content like this and you will find your answer.❤
How are you feeling these days?
Wow, i need this right now. I have been working hard on myself. It has been a tough ride. It's not easy dealing with demons every day. And some days are harder than others. Im still learning not to give up so easily and keep getting up doing things to help my mental health. It's a long, hard road. I have hope after not having any for most of my life. I, too, got to that point of nearly dying and didn't care what happened to me. Then something in me just clicked, and since then, i have been trying very hard to get back on track. I want to help myself to be able to help others like me. ❤ Thanks so much, both of you, for sharing this 😊 so i can continue on my way to recovery Xx
That is such a beautiful and healing sentiment that resonates with me. The one thing I hang onto is that perhaps we're being conditioned so that we may be better equipped to help others going through it. I wish you a glorious and fruitful road ahead of you
Dr Scott, in many of your wonderful videos you say we have to be the change, that no-one else is going to save us. So true and finally accepting. Trouble is, at 70, I'm totally worn out after decades and trying to reinvent myself so many times but within the framework of 42 yr married to undiagnosed until the end to man with Aspergers. Now we are completely cut off, I just can't do this any more. My gastank of self help and self love is to try heal myself is completely empty yet again but realise no possibility of starting to fill it again. If I had one person left to connect with, maybe. I'm too tired and broken . I try but fail daily. I think the clincher is you and Chris have youth and family on your side. Even then look how many years it took you both and you still have to be vigilant. At 70 and alone, there is no time left. If only I could be here knowing i was in a neurodiverse relationship and more importantly, found your work many decades ago. Your sharing has resonated with ne so much, I could believe I could make it but not enough time left to scratch the surface, especially so alone and isolated with no-one.
I'm glad for the younger people who will survive and thrive following your wisdom. Tears here now wishing I had a chance too😢
I completely understand and appreciate your pain. I'm in the same situation that you explained. I'm 60 and have spent years in therapy to work on all my issues, however to no avail . Everytime I feel like I'm Healing, situations come back around and throws me right back into day 1. I am alone in this battle for my life, my children hate me so we don't have a relationship, and what's left of my family is just as sick as me, so no relationship there either. It's a very lonely place to be, but I can't bring anyone else into my life because the last couple of years people who I thought were friends, weren't and they took advantage of my pain, so now I don't trust anyone. I feel you and I appreciate your honesty.
Thank you for sharing these words that really ring true for me. If we live to 90 that's 20 years, we must keep trying.
@@golden1789 do i want to spend my years left until 90 "working hard" on therapy for small improvements? When do we get to reap any rewards. I just want peace and rest. Brain and body don't want to work any more. Besides, stat's say people like me have 16 yrs less to live than those without mental health problems. The only people who get to 90 are those who have lived the lives that brought them love, kindness and peace. Thank you for your kind post. I sincerely hope you reach your goal x
I totally agree with everything you say. Much love to you. XXX@@rhonmc2782
I can relate to things as well am in my 60's life seems to be one hiccup after another o get bullied used even by family unless you realise what going on with yourself your life will be a merry go round, I think self help is the best for us type of people , I believe after plenty of counselling over years they just line there pocket trust your GUT
I am going through a tough time with anxiety and suicidal ideation through loss of my close family and friends. I am in hospital and waiting for counselling to start. I tell myself that my brain is lying to me, just the pain gets strong. I would love this to get better soon.
I hope you are doing better. XXXXX
How are you feeling these days?
Thanks very much to Christopher and you both for this. Lots of really good things in here.
You are most welcome! Just trying to be or service and spread some hope by sharing my story. 🙌
So glad it was helpful!
@@valiantfateThank you for sharing your story. It was very very helpful to me!!🤍
Gracias😢
Moving can be huge and life changing. I am really relating to that right now, two years into a move myself and still feeling like an outsider in ways. I’m so inspired to see the light you created in your tunnel. It gives me hope with my depression. Thanks for sharing 😊
What a sweet, lovely human!
Blown away by this podcast. BOTH are genuine, authentic and able to connect to because of their lived experience which we can relate to. Please Dr Scott do more podcasts with similar format ie there IS NO scripted format or lecture. Just 2 people sharing stories and ideas which we can feel seen and validated in many points.
None of my episodes are scripted, guests or no, but I will be inviting more guests on starting in December!
@@DrScottEilers WOW! no script, yet such clarity of mind is imperssive!
Just saw this video today and when they say things happen at a time for a reason it is so true. Thank you both. I desperately needed this at this point in my life.
I really relate to this story in some ways. I have struggled with suicidal ideation for years now. For me it's because of childhood abuse. I also nearly succeeded in taking my life. I stopped taking life saving medication. After passing out one day I was sent to the hospital and when I arrived my heart stopped beating. Thankfully I was brought back after about 20 minutes and realized this way of living isn't sustainable. I've been working to make changes in my life, but now I am so motivated to try new things and actually build a life worth living. I have to stop listening to this part of me that wants to avoid everything and give up. Thank you both for this video!
How are you doing now?
I’ve incorporated a little walk every day and it’s really helping me. It’s like if we don’t move we loose. This is an Awesome Interview! Chris is great!
PS My first album was Black Sabbath too!😊♥️👍
19:50 exactly.. I began my long journey in 1991 at 26 alcoholic and it made sense to me.. what I was doing got me here.. so I flipped the coin. It was a no brainer. It worked.. WHEN I flipped the coin. However after multiple 30 day rehabs / halfway houses I finally hit my bottom.. 2016 at 52years learned about CPTSD and went to another rehab.. then stayed in 1/2 way 3/4 house for 3 years.. and been sober since 2016 and You Tube really saved me during Covid when I got my own apartment.. divorce.. this guy is telling my story .. I’m 60years old and grateful for every experience that got me here!
This is gold
Lots of helpful, hopeful stuff here!! 👏🏻👍🏻
Happy to be of service! 🙏🙌
I identified with Christopher so much it was uncanny and have been.having passive suicidal ideations when i got really sick with several autoimmune conditions and had three "should've died" events and/or NDEs within a period of seven years. Watching this video was uplifting and helpful when I needed it.
I’d love to hear more about how it got easier for him but that the work never really stops or goes away?
I can so relate to this. I've battled this my whole life
I have struggled since childhood....I am typing this before I have listened....but I never had a mothers love... she seemed incapable...I am 60... I think I was over critical of my kids so they distanced as older adults.... I think not having a mothers love is a life long burden
After listening my comment is out of place as you had a good mum it appears.... maybe you are an empath and we feel more...too much..
I agree with you
I love classical music and metal music. My two favourite genres. This guy is super inspiring. Thanks Scott.
Passive observer to ACTIVE PARTICIPANT! 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻👊🏻
What an incredible sense of self-awareness (I actually wrote this before he said it in the video, BTW). To intuitively fight back against the inner bully that never relents, and tell it where to go, is pretty remarkable. What a great role model for children and adolescents too. Before they become adults with a million bad habits, most insidious of which is self-abuse. I am so impressed and inspired by this man. If he could do what he did from the point he was at, then why can't I? Why can't any of us? So awesome. More of these videos, please!!!
Great video. So many inspiring words spoken here.
Thank you Dr Scott you are doing a great job. My son became ill with Covic stress and later diagnosed as schizophrenia
Thank you for interviewing him. This resonates.
Very insightful and very inspiring ..much grattitude 🎉
Thank you for this very real interview ❤ I enjoyed it very much. I loved it when he said you have to want to save yourself because it’s very true.
Christopher you are an inspiration. Thank you so much.
Dr Scott you definitely need to do a Part 2.
Thing is, when you say, "It is cliche, when someone you know who has always been okay..." That is SO invalidating.
For much of my life, people have been telling me things like, "But you wouldn't understand, because you don't have problems." And I was actually suicidal, when that particular one was leveled at me.
Because I'm high-functioning, others will tend to assess that "I'm okay", (whether or not that is true), place expectation/burden on me (because they think I'm more okay than they are, so I owe that), and never even ask or consider the realities of my lived experience.
I think you're awesome, love your content, and you do an amazing job on here. But, my friend, we really need to check ourselves, when we start judging what we think we know about the experiences of other people.
Hope your mind is open to consider this view, and thanks again for the great content.
I told my doctor this last visit that I was mostly ok because I'm still showering and making it to work and keeping some engagements... but I was having passive suicidal ideation almost every day. He kinda smiled and said "we call that high functioning depression" and immediately offered me some medicinal options (I'm already in therapy). I was so grateful he didn't blow me off... the ideations were coming FAR more frequently than before. Doing a bit better now but it's still an uphill climb.
Sensitive when young, bullied, into metal and bodybuilding... Likeable and highly relatable guy, for me at least. Good video, guys.
Very helpful thank you
Loved this👍🏽❤️
Music (especially metal) has gotten me through a lot! Since I was a teen. Even today, some people wonder how I can listen to some of the stuff I do (like some death core such as Lorna Shore) cause they think it's so "angry" but it's really not! Other stuff is very heavy in terms of topics/emotion (such as Linkin Park) but it all just takes me to a place I need to go to. Music is definitely the thing that helps gets me through depression and anxiety.
Really glad Chris has gotten to where he's at! It's tough work, still trying to get there myself.
Wow I relate to Chris so much on how he felt. I feel like a passive observer in my life right now. Gotta change that
What a gorgeous man, I used to have the same thing with alcohol, its so horrible, the withdrawal is trying to be how I used to it before that, never ever happened
Thank you both. ❤
I feel like a lot of this resonates with me. I've never been suicidal persay, more just thoughts of it would be so much easier if i never existed and didn't have to deal. I have ptsd and panic disorder. I feel like at this point in my life the panic disorder is much more prevalent. I am on medication and see a shrink and a therapist. However I more feel like all I've learned is how to "cope" or how to make it go away temporarily, which just makes it worse in the long run. They say cbt is supposed to be effective for panic disorder but I have found it is not at all. I've felt sooo stuck for the last 15 years. Ive managed to get my medical coding credentials but am too terified to actually get a job doing it. My panic makes me fear about everything. I leave the house now thanks to meds and some sheer willpower but there are still things that my panicky brain tells me I cant do. Driving on freeways or alone, work (Ive been on disability for awhile which i hate!), be social. I used to be very social and outgoing and its turned my life into a very isolated place. Thankfully I have a family and fiancee but they just dont get it, they say they do but what they see is just the tip of the iceberg so to speak. I wonder if you have any advice or could do a video on panic disorder and how to go about trying to unstick myself. Ive read about every self help book out there and watched a ton of youtube content. I do really like how you can relate to people having been there yourself. Would just really love some insight. I know Im very smart, kind, caring but I feel like Im not living up to my potential and it kills me.Before my accident I was fearless and was in nursing school and doing great, but after that it all fell apart and I havent been able to put myself back together again.
You have to do the things that cause joy, even if the action doesn't cause joy. You have to vocalize to yourself the behavior. There's a lot of action associated with changing depression. One of the hardest is developing coping skills for when you live with abusers. Here's a morbid thought - the reason for living with abusers can be due to economic, societal, developmental reasons. Having skills to cope prevents further despair. In certain circumstances, depressed people have had to live with abusers for decades, maybe centuries depending on the discussion. It's the coping skills that are important. Abusers can lead to behaviors in depressed people that worsen the depression - some people really do die of depression, it's a mysterious death. Loneliness, is typical in depression - loneliness leads to deaths of ignominy - if you are alone who can remember or find you in the depression.
My depression gets worse in the winter, it's very typical for the weather. Going outside is awful and I don't recommend it, it's awful and it's better to live somewhere else.
The main concept I understood was victim:
Yes, it must be emasculating for myself to admit to victim mentality. Things happened to me - because of my "family", my "mother". Things move around me without asking or noticing me. People ignore me. Tasks happen to me. "Jobs" happen to me. That mentality is very detached and ghostlike, especially for a male. The desire to experience control is a factor, overprotective parents can exacerbate depression.
The personality would be confusing to talk about as a "type" - passive, helpless, callow, backbiting, piteous, "sensitive" but to social victim situations.
The male would be "useless" and seen as weak. Probably due to male authority issues due to paternal abuse. Any form of denial elicits helplessness and engagement of "rumination" meant to demoralize the victim.
Over time the rumination leads to a "spiral". At first the self hate is diffuse, the victim is merely blaming themselves. "I'm so stupid, I'm so stupid, I'm so stupid". Eventually a thought sticks and the victim now has more self hate. Stupid becomes foolish becomes retarded becomes imbecilic, etc. soon behaviors are generated that prevent joy - "I don't garden because I am too stupid" - cognitive block of the "joy action". That depression doesn't seem harmful at first.
I'm so careless, I'm so careless, I'm so careless. Now a self-care cognitive block is formed. If you exercise you'll feel better. You stop noticing form and you hurt yourself. I'm so careless I'm so stupid I'm so careless. Now the cognitive block can spread. Careless enough to not brush teeth. Careless enough to not shower. Careless enough to not launder. The spiral continues but still no actual self harm thought has occurred.
I hate myself, I hate myself I hate myself. No you don't. Yes you do. The victim can't decide what to do. To initiate the self harm, the hate has to be done "accidentally". One day you'll be cutting nails and the scissors slip and a cut happens. Oh well - still no self harm thought formed. Eventually if the depression is that bad, the writing becomes "one day I noticed that I was slicing the skin off my feet until they bled, oh well". Depression, does involve"gaps" because frequently people won't state how their "repeated thoughts" evolved and changed. The "examples" I gave are only meant to bluntly describe a basic situation.
I would do that to myself constantly. I hate my life, for 30 minutes, then 31, 32. Over the course of time that could be 30 minutes over 24hrs and become highly disjointed. That to me sounds not good, that implies that actions have become anhedonic and concentration is being affected. Peaks and troughs, that to someone else are flat. Long term those spirals become more intense, they can really hurt and cause someone to lash out unexpectedly. Depression as a child is simple - dissatisfaction. Even in abusive cultures, children's depression is "simpler" because things can be made to appear different.
This was very inspiring.
Chris is great! ❤️
Thank you for telling your story
You are a wonderful person
I’m glad to hear from you ❤
I am glad for Chris, he figured out how to manage his depression. When I was his age I exercised too. Ate pretty healthy, educated myself. However the depression got worse to the point of incapacity, so deep I just could not get up. I mean how do you stay motivated and strength when relapses occurs. Anhedonia.
I love transformation stories! Thankyou!
Excellent conversation. Well done to both of you for picking yourselves up and fighting through and then helping others do the same. You're both an inspiration. I too WILL chain my demons! Thank you 🙏
Amazing video. I’ve always known I should quit reading so much on the Internet, but it’s really neat how he explained the reasons why and how it benefits us.
I got so much from both of you!! Thank you, Chris, for sharing your story! What an inspiration you both are!!!
The most inspirational metal band I ever listened to is Hatebreed, hands down.
Thank you so much Christopher for sharing your story! You said so many things that resonate! You give me hope and inspire me to continue to keep trying!
Thank you!
He is amazing
Yes, Christopher is amazing! I just saw a few of his videos on his channel. He is very well spoken! ☀️
You guys are doing Great! Thank you.
Chris, you took my script! Fellow traveler
I’m so depressed I can hardly handle being in my own skin right now. I’m very desperate inside I’m about to lose it. I need hope! I’m so fearful right now I can’t stand myself what I’m suffering. I feel trapped in this hell without an escape! Please God save me! Somebody assure me I’m gonna be able to change this. I don’t even have the energy anymore. I never unable to change I’m stuck! I need help!!!!!
Hang in there❤
How are you doing now?
Stay strong
Try to do just 5 push ups.I am doing that when i hit rock bottom and i start ti feel better,dopamine will increase a little bit
Call 988, they can help you.
Love this conversation. Thank you so much. Completely love hearing about how metal music has helped you both. Metal and hardcore especially have been a great avenue for healing, growth, processing emotion for me, and the culture and live shows have been so positive for my mental health. Hardcore culture has the potential to be especially great for substance recovery too, depending on the scene you're a part of.
The music conversation is really interesting. My boyfriend is also a big fan of both metal and classical music.
Yes to a Part 2!
I need to reach out to him soon we’ve both been extremely busy 😫
@@DrScottEilers From scanning his online offerings, I suspect he needs skilled assistance to organize and execute putting himself on the Internet efficiently. I imagine that kind of VA could be pricey?
Very encouraging and helpful. Thank you.
Funny you say that about metal. I always loved it. I had friends in metal bands in Seattle. My fiancee loves norwegian metal. His favorite is Amon Amarth. I think thats how you spell it lol. Thats his motivational, feel good music.
Thank you
I loved this interview ❤ so the message I needed today.
I loved this interview. Especially as a heavy metal fan 😁
Great interview!
Very inspiring!🤘
Even when it is a simple case, it isn't easy. The majority are not
First it's so cool that I found out that you are from Iowa. I wish I could utilize you as my counselor/therapist. Next, the whole metal thing was awesome as a metal head and I'm about to finish my album based off my reading of The Divine Comedy. The visual of a demon being shackled would be perfect for the concept. If you don't know, The Divine Comedy is split into 3 books, Inferno, where it's about the poet's journey through Hell, then Purgatorio where he journeys through Purgatory, then Paradiso, where he his guided by his beloved through the celestial bodies, Paradise/Heaven. I would love permission to use that visual and just the fact you two were talking about it, has guided me out of a severe despair, after some mistakes. And I have all the tracks ready. Maybe it will help someone. Anybody an artist?
I used to love exercise and it used to help alot but i have had severe chronic fatigue for 2 years, even with being healthy and im so tired even if i force myself to the gym i cant get through 10 min of a workout without feeling so exauhsted i cant stand it
I hope you start to recover soon. ❤
It sounds hokey but athletes manifest by visualizing their outcome for their race or their competition. It might be worth trying to start as Neville Goddard taught, to feel the wish fulfilled.
Currently creating the self-concept that I’m no longer a yo-yo Dyer that I’m present and choose to take a step forward even if I only do two different types of weights in the gym or go for a 10 minute walk sometimes that starts off a chain of energy
When I was in 5th. grade, my teacher, and my entire class bullied me. Why? I don't know. But I did read yrs. later, that it was the " way" it was in those days, in a certain grade, the teacher would start picking on a student, then the entire class would copy him making fun of me( I would sit at my desk and bite my lip) the entire year. I could never go to my parents, they didn't care what was happening in school. Hopefully, this doesn't happen to anyone.
Awesome thanks this helps
I always listen to Megadeths Into the lungs of hell when I feel down! Its an instrumental but a very powerful song
Vivaldi is compared to metal of its time
I don't forgive my bullies. No way. Just because people are young doesn't mean their behavior is excused. They only made me stronger though, so I've moved on from the pain.
I am happy I am just not achieving much. I rather be more functional. That function IS dependent on the external receptivity and allowance. So.....I do not want to live where I am not Allowed to live.
I am feeling I am no longer depressed. Now I am extremely angry - angry with my oncologist, my surgeons, my PCP...I no longer believe a word from their mouth(s) and have cancelled future appointments for any further follow-up CT scans or bloodwork. I hope every day my cancer comes back STILL and I am punching myself in the gut and side and still have curtailed no longer eating protein or food to sustain long term living. I am surviving on coffee with cream and white sugar and bread and a little cream cheese. Life stinks and my surgeons destroyed my life.
Anger is good. Sadness follows, then compassion! It's a process :)
There is too grief somewhere in there! Sometimes linear isn't a concept in healing!
I had cancer too. I’m an old lady in my 70s but can I share what I learned? ….and that is I can’t control very many things. Only myself and that not very well. But a really good therapist told me that if I’m stuck in a hole I’m going to feel shitty. So if I’m going to feel bad anyway, why not dig myself out and feel bad while I’m digging. Either way it’s just hard. I hope you find your way.
Mustard seed of Faith!
Heavy metal was cathartic, frequency Hi Vibe.. I liked Judas Priests, Scorpions, Metallica.. ✌️ I’m a born again Christian, I still appreciate Rocking.. music tames my beasts.. release Trauma,, let it visit, and SHOW it the Door!🚪 33lps..
Very good interview but you almost lost me when you got onto the topic of metal music. But I stuck it out 😆
Just found this video today, so I’m looking forward to the second Interview with this guy
Haha, for me that was like an added bonus! 😆
So antidepressant medication is not an option?
For some people it definitely is
Common sense is not all that common. Not moving cause me a world of physical pain.
21:09 BINGO
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻😘
I'm a metal fan too!🎸
Metal and classical 😅Progressive structures?
Please get to the point faster.
I’ve incorporated a little walk every day and it’s really helping me. It’s like if we don’t move we loose. This is an Awesome Interview! Chris is great!
PS My first album was Black Sabbath too!😊♥️👍
I have been doing this as well and it’s been a big game changer. I have to drop my kids off in the morning at school which is close to a park. Every morning after I drop them I make it my mission to do 2 laps (one mile) around that park. No more and no less. (Had to tweak it until I found what worked for me in this season of my life). Trying to make it a consistent habit before I amp it up to speed walking and doing more laps.