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Not having my career take up 40 hours of my week for 40 years of my life. Nothing, not even the things I enjoy, can still be fun/rewarding when doing them becomes part of a grind. It's time we stopped pretending that's possible for the majority of people. Someone told me a while back that even the video-game testers he knows tend to find it pretty boring after a while. I'm not a gamer but that does tell you something, doesn't it? Also Alain de Botton is self-employed. I imagine he doesn't have to worry about asking permission to go on holiday or having to beg for promotions on account of X many months/years of "good behaviour" like the rest of us do. Yet here he is telling the 9-to-5'ers to enjoy their slavery so long as they "love" the things that slavery produces. Erm...problematic much?
I almost destroyed myself trying to get a career just to reach my family's high expectations. Never let anyone tell you you're not good enough. Dont listen to anyone! Live your life and be happy~!
I just popped in to see if there were any nose comments. Thank you! I will watch this another day. These vids are always so useful and enriching. Noses an' all!!
I don't know, I just don't want a career anymore. I want to heal, to live, to love people, to help others heal, I want to exchange ideas, and learn more about what it is to be human, and I want to make people, and raise them in love.
@@PtolemyXVII 😂 i know all about the struggles of living in the corporate world. Unfortunately, as I've learned from my close friends, college professors don't have it so good either. All the same nonsense as in the corporate world, and so much more 🤦♀️
Surprisingly, I want to go back to my corporate job! I moved in with my husband 3 years back post marriage.I am not finding joy in the local-level jobs that I am finding here ..even the MNC jobs are not as exciting as what the city offers. I think what we want keeps changing with time & situations. A few years back I felt so lonely that I would do anything for love! But now that I am fulfilled in that area, I am looking to fulfill other areas of my life! I guess this is never ending- our desires I mean...
I am so thankful that my parents never pushed me to do anything and we’re always supportive of whatever hobbies I Had (video games, music, basketball) it really helps me concentrate on the things I love. All they ever asked for me is to have a decent paying job because they know what it’s like to have a passion but have no money and didn’t want me to go through the same pain. Please consider being like my parents.
I loved this phrase: “When people crave power fortune and fame, it’s not greed that’s driving them, but an anguished feeling of being unloved” I’ve recognized this for years, but I couldn’t put it as eloquently as you. Yes I can feel sympathy for a person in that situation, but it’s a horrible thing to work for a person like that.
I’ve worked around some very very wealthy people. They’re definitely not any happier than anybody else. What is wealth except hoarding of resources, and what’s what is a hoarder, but someone who has an emotional/mental issue to deal with.
I actually needed this video as I recently started my first job at a pizza place. I try to keep a smile on my face no matter what gets me down. But whenever I make a mistake, my trainer either looks at me in utter disappointment or curses me under his breath. If it wasn't for my needs, I wouldn't have hesitated to ask him to buzz off. However, I still try my best and look forward to get a better job later. I wonder if it's only me or other beginners encounter such issues too.
Very few people in management are there because they know how to manage people. You’re going to find, throughout your life, more often than not, your bosses will be a little incompetent and a great deal narcissistic, and take out both situations on their workers. The secret is to not let that get inside of your head and affect how you feel about yourself.
@@beejls you are so right, I realise more every time that everyone seems to want to be the boss just to tell people what to do but almost no one can do the job right or have any interest whatsoever in motivating the employees or having good communication skills. Then you notice that they're just incompetent and have nothing to do with you
I will be free one day. But I will be free only if I’ll get the judgement of others out of my mind. It’s so painfully difficult, especially with our Super Ego constantly judging me.
Your Super Ego constantly judging you? You need to find things that interest you to the point of not caring about what others think of you for it. For example, if you love to create art, and you yourself are proud of your creations. Stand strong with that. That is part of you, and those that don't like it can go to h3ll. 😇
Our Super Ego judges us when our Ego is too tilted towards the Id than the Super Ego. The fact that you know you will be free once you ignore the judgments of others (which is your Id clinging to external validation) is a great head start, and it certainly beats not being aware of what the hell is going on and mindlessly jumping through the Id's hoops
I used to value productivity (“how much can I get done!”), but now understand that connection, empathy and sharing knowledge are far more powerful (“I am part of something bigger than myself”) 💞
this type of video just makes me appreciate my mother so much for what she did for me during my childhood I never felt that I needed to impress anyone and she has always supported me in anything I wanted to do
Excessively comparing yourself to other people robs you of the joy in life. Realise that you are good enough just as you are. Placing your sense of self-worth upon how you compare to others is a recipe for a dissatisfied and insecure life. 🌟
It's so true, and it's so hard to do these days with social media! I'm grateful to have at least made it through most of my teenage years without this social media comparison. Learning and practicing recognizing your self worth is such a valuable skill.
@@teofitness1957 I think this is based on knowing your lane and what you're willing to do. Even if you're doing something similar to someone you're comparing yourself to, their hard work and extra hours can be your time to recover or to live outside of work that may be more worthwhile.
Bro these Instagram influencers get so much money just by stripping naked so that creates jealousy while others work 4 jobs a day to provide for family of course people will compare with each other
@@rexiioper6920 Sadly, almost everyone only at the end of their lives realizes that all jobs are "boring jobs". That's why they pay you to do them. Look for self worth and enlightenment elsewhere.
@@sarahleewatson To fulfill filial piety. "You owe your parents every cent and nickel you make because they made you and you need to repay them as much as you can" and that kind of shit.
This video is for people that already have it good. All I need from a job is to pay my essential bills without having to ask for help. And if im lucky, still have a little bit left so I can enjoy life.
Made me cry. I tried living up to my parents expectations and study but I ended up having a burnout followed by years of depression. I feel broken. I am jobless but too afraid to look for a job because I believe nothing will "make me be good enough". I see that this isn't about finding the right job but learning to love myself as am, regardless of my capacity to work. My mother used to preach about how people who don't or can't work deserve to be killed. Ironic how this internalised belief is exactly what's keeping me, her child, from getting a job.
I loved working as a nursery/kindergarten teacher. The problem was it genuinely doesn’t pay enough to live on (especially when you take into account needing to save for a pension or trying to give your child a better life).
Didn't expect to be read to filth today lol. I realised a long time ago that my former (though it sometimes recurs) desperation to be famous - at anything - has almost nothing to do with money or wanting to be admired by large amounts of people, but everything to do with being incredibly lonely and fantasizing about ideal friendships and relationships with "special" people. I don't know if that's common, but it's definitely the case for me. I never felt unloved as a child - on the contrary, I was assessed by the people in my life as being somehow special or smarter or better, which really just put me under a lot of pressure to become exceptional when I'm actually just a normal person. A lot of my "dreams" actually are formed around what others have expected of me, used as excuses to get something else - to escape loneliness and misunderstanding, and to try and impress people who I consider exceptional, as if that might improve me somehow.
Sounds like conditional love to me. I think OP is trying to fit definitions of love and unlove as it is commonly understood, while disregarding the fact that there was something lacking in their early life (whether language would call it love or not).
i dont want to be famous but I want my work to be appreciated by a wide range of people otherwise it feels pointless to put in so much work that nobody cares about
4:06 this is so me :'( I'm breaking down just like that statue despite being successful, no one in my life knows my struggle and they still envy me. I just realised that I wasn't maybe loved properly when I was a kid, and I always crave to be the best, not for me, but for my parents and the hungry ego I've built. :'(
As a stranger who has just read your comment, I already feel the need to comfort you and treat you with compassion. Find love in others, whether they be strangers or familiar people. You will get better.
@@Slam_24 thank you for your comment, I'm in introvert who pretends to be an extrovert so I only fakely relate to people which exhaust me even more, my social life is a mess, I just keep smiling and making friends that I don't really want, still have not find someone I can truly relate to. I'm not sure how I can find love in others like you said, I'm all fked tbh.
You know that goes to show Monday doesn’t buy happiness. Find a hobby and get outside more. Realize what’s important and take care of yourself. You’ll see what truly matters. I don’t know you but your parents are probably already proud of you. Now it’s time for you to be proud of yourself :))
@@amecryst3484 you won't believe how happy I am to see your comment, it's really comforting and I promise you and myself I'll make a change, my parents are indeed proud of me but like you said I have to be proud of myself too!
You can and should find enjoyment in your work. Doing so is very valuable to your life in many ways, including greatly increasing your probability of financial success. But you don't have to love, or even like your overall job to enjoy everyday aspects of it.
I don't have a dream job. I simply do not dream of labour. I would rather have a job that doesn't fulfill me but pays the bills and leaves me with enough free time to do what I want than "turning my passion into my job" or some other capitalist bullshit like that
Yes, this is why I don’t mind a 9-5. I have a lot of free time to do my own thing, going to parks, cafes, working out. My work is not the center of my life
yeah well but dont you think the amount of free time is very little compared to the time you work. so most of your life would be filled with something that you dont really care about and you are only left with a few hours a day to do the things you like. I think that is even more capitalist. So you spend most of your time (your life) doing something that doesnt fulfill you and you are okay with the very little time 'offered' to you.
1-The conquest of happiness bertrand russell. 2-The consolations of philosophy by alain de botton 3-erich fromm the art of loving 4-milan kundera-the unbearable lightness of being
For the past few years I've worked teaching English online. Never thought I'd be a teacher, never really wanted to be (never connected super deeply with kids)... but it allowed me to move to Spain and gives me control over my own schedule, and enough free time (I work from 11-3 daily except Sundays) to enjoy life, get outside and explore, and work on creative projects that make me feel fulfilled. I've even been able to connect with children more than I ever thought I would. Ideally one day I'll find success through my creative pursuits, but until then I'm working on maintaining this peace that I feel around my routine and this part of my life. A humble living, but more than enough for my happiness. I feel like the more people who seek that peace (and it isn't always easy) the less burnout/stress/toxic work environments would be so rampant
I was in a career I chose for its income but never was passionate about, it caused me excessive anxiety and panic attacks, I couldn't work under pressure.i finally decided to leave it for perusing the career I'm really passionate about. And I can't describe how relieved I'm, so calm and motivated... even though it's much less money, but I don't care, I enjoy it. Always remember, desire over finance
Everytime video pops I get excited and this was the best I mean each words were touching my heart and every single people feel this on a part of life ❤️
I do not care about all the other stuff of approval as long as what im doing is morally acceptable, I'm glad doing it, I'm growing and learning, helping others and yes supporting myself
Oh my God... I don't even understand all the words used in these videos, but they are pure gold. They are so easy to watch and so meaningful... Why didn't I find this channel earlier? 🤔
I have been working in customer service for almost 6 years now. Every time I meet new people and tell them what I do (becuase they ask, I never like to talk about work with people since there are so many more interesting things to talk about) I can see they kind of feel pity for me when they say "ooohhh must be difficult always with angry customers on the phone". I am not on the phone but I used to be and still it was ok. My collegues complain about that job every day too and they often feel over qualified to do it (...). I have often felt lonely because I don't feel like this about it. I enjoy it, no one ever puts me pressure, I can work slowly If I wanted, money are enough to grant me my indipendence. I was offered a higher position some years ago, I tried it, I hated it and came to what I was doing before, feeling happy about it. My job can be boring but I like to find little ways to personalise it. I don't like to be judged for my work and I don't agree that "growing professionally" necessarily means growing as a persons. There are countless ways to grow as a person (The School Of Life definitely helps) and these may not related to jobs and carrier.
thanks .... I embrace the sense of foolishness I feel. I laugh at myself, and strive to listen more deeply to my inner self rather than what I believe the world expects of me. I love myself for being, at least in this moment!
Obviously, it helps if your job is something you're deeply passionate about. I'm lucky to do what I love in helping others find romantic fulfillment. But if the spark isn't initially there, try to find the hidden value there: building your skills, challenging your comfort zone, realizing the impact it makes on others, connecting further with your team, or the growth you need now to find something more rewarding later.
Doing the job I have now puts me in a position where I can't meet people in my age group. I feel isolated and now I'm craving for meaningful social interactions. Social media only gives a false sense of community bc at the end of the day I still feel lonely.
Such a great video...'extrinsic' reasons really are such a trap!...Much better to look within and follow what really really brings us joy - in full honesty with ourselves.
'A job you enjoy and that pays for reasonable material needs' ha, in 2021 both of those are off the table for about 80% of people.. Now our requirements are 'A job where it doesn't conflict with my second and third job and enough money to pay the rent this week'...
There may be hardly 1% of worldly population who will be loving their jobs. Everyone is not lucky enough like Steve Jobs, we have to get used to it what we are doing and enjoy the things outside of work.
I think those of us with the freedom to choose our career paths are often taught to think about it and make choices in the wrong way. We're always asked 'what do you want to do?' but I feel like being taught to identify and work towards our values in work or life would be more beneficial in the long run.
I think that we should at least try to get a job we're passionate about instead of just settling from the get-go for sth we do just for the status or pay. If we cant, then at least we tried 🤷🏾♀️
I have no idea what I am doing anymore at 60. I love painting, tutoring art and helping people find their creativity. I told my headteacher at school I wanted to do Art, Dance and Cooking. She said No and would not let me. And actually I have always danced, painted and cooked. I worked in teaching food to children and families then it became a difficult task as lifting and carrying is part of it. Sitting at home drinking coffee, painting for the love of it, and even exhibiting soon has become a way of life. I didn’t buy a house again after I lost mine in the crash in the 80’s and travelled instead. Now I rent and cycle everywhere. It is about what you are prepared to give up for freedom. It is not easy no, but I would never go back to an i]office job typing all day with back pain and exhaustion. Stppped that in 2006 as I thought if I keep doing this my body won’t hack it and my dance will also stop.
Well, being better at work requires skill and experience, being motivated however, is a thing that we have to strive for moment to moment, no matter if you love your job or not.
Realtor here. Would have chosen a dazzling career (pilot, hotelier, Minister of Tourism, etc.), but I love real estate more. And it kinda pays well, once you get to understand the business.
Well seems to me that this channel has a fixation on the amount of love we got as children. I mean of course it is the root to a lot of problems but it can't really be blamed for everything bad that happens to us.
Exactly. This does have a depressing and defeatist tone for those of us who weren’t loved. Wtf are these “redemptive substitutes” and is that truly all we can hope for?
Yep, I don't understand how one can love a job. Err, I mean... I needed money to support myself, found a job, then another, then settled for my current, which is okeish. I can love my wife, parent, kid, pet, life in general. You mostly work to eat. Perhaps I'm too old to understand it.
Whatever you just showed was my childhood idea of life. But as I grew up this all faded by words of people around me. My closest relatives are obsessed by these 3 factors and now I am turning the same way. Right now it's just a wishful thinking to have a kind of world you just showed.
I understand what the video is driving at, that it's more fulfilling to work with a sense of purpose than for material possession, but I guess I was hoping to find reasons to stay motivated or change my perspective. I'm already in a loving relationship but that doesn't seem to be saving me from career burnout.
Was agreeing to most of it except the part of not being loved as the cause of distress. Maybe for a part of the population but most people are driven by countless other stuff like envy (exacerbated by social media), greed, tradition (family makes money so I should too) etc....and they all could be loved and protected when they were children and have loving spouses etc...
What is career satisfaction to you? Join the discussion in the comments below. If you enjoy our films and want a say on what ones we make you can now become a channel member here: ua-cam.com/channels/7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog.htmljoin
having a job that pays well enough to make a living, with shorter hours and that is fulfilling.
Oh to work as an special schedule plenty time to rest and recuperate
Helping someone and feeling like that they really trust me and that I've helped them
Not having my career take up 40 hours of my week for 40 years of my life. Nothing, not even the things I enjoy, can still be fun/rewarding when doing them becomes part of a grind. It's time we stopped pretending that's possible for the majority of people. Someone told me a while back that even the video-game testers he knows tend to find it pretty boring after a while. I'm not a gamer but that does tell you something, doesn't it? Also Alain de Botton is self-employed. I imagine he doesn't have to worry about asking permission to go on holiday or having to beg for promotions on account of X many months/years of "good behaviour" like the rest of us do. Yet here he is telling the 9-to-5'ers to enjoy their slavery so long as they "love" the things that slavery produces. Erm...problematic much?
Do I love my job?
No.
But does it afford me the ability to go on lavish vacations and buy anything I want?
Also no.
😅
😂
lmao is it a dead end job tho? is there room for improvement
this made me laugh :D thanks for that
💀
I'm a truck driver, I love it and pays enough, the best part is that I spend my work days by myself, no office drama or politics.
Over The Top!!!
No human interaction either.
@@taboowriter9229 I get plenty of human interaction at home and in my circle of friends, outside my work place.
no wife nagging you constantly lmao just the road that's a good job for those who are content with the simpler things in life
Living the dream. I'd love to have a job where I didn't have to deal with other people. Good for you.
I almost destroyed myself trying to get a career just to reach my family's high expectations. Never let anyone tell you you're not good enough. Dont listen to anyone! Live your life and be happy~!
Amen to that! =)
sad true for you, for me and for so many people out there
What were the high expectations, though?
Were you pressured to be a brain surgeon or an athlete or something?
Change your family, mate, build your own
@@sarah18497 get a GED
I feel like someone hates the job of drawing noses.
Now I can't unsee it😓
And don't forget the finger s
Haha, brilliant
I relate, noses are hard to draw tbf
LOL - the NOSES are the only reason I came to comments. Just to see if it was only me! Very distracting.
I really loved this message even though the noses freaked me out.
Those are noses? I thought they were turkey feet...
I know! I was like those noses are back!? 😆
Perfect candidate for a 'nose job'
the animator obviously cut corners in an unwise and hasty move, due to the pressure of trying to live up to their previous works.
I just popped in to see if there were any nose comments. Thank you! I will watch this another day. These vids are always so useful and enriching. Noses an' all!!
I don't know, I just don't want a career anymore. I want to heal, to live, to love people, to help others heal, I want to exchange ideas, and learn more about what it is to be human, and I want to make people, and raise them in love.
If my heart could speak
I agree whole heartedly
I’m thinking I want a cushy job, like a university professor these days lol…the corporate world sucks
@@PtolemyXVII 😂 i know all about the struggles of living in the corporate world. Unfortunately, as I've learned from my close friends, college professors don't have it so good either. All the same nonsense as in the corporate world, and so much more 🤦♀️
Surprisingly, I want to go back to my corporate job! I moved in with my husband 3 years back post marriage.I am not finding joy in the local-level jobs that I am finding here ..even the MNC jobs are not as exciting as what the city offers.
I think what we want keeps changing with time & situations.
A few years back I felt so lonely that I would do anything for love!
But now that I am fulfilled in that area, I am looking to fulfill other areas of my life!
I guess this is never ending- our desires I mean...
I am so thankful that my parents never pushed me to do anything and we’re always supportive of whatever hobbies I Had (video games, music, basketball) it really helps me concentrate on the things I love. All they ever asked for me is to have a decent paying job because they know what it’s like to have a passion but have no money and didn’t want me to go through the same pain. Please consider being like my parents.
It's rare to have parents like yours. Cherish them forever. ❤
❤️❤️❤️
I loved this phrase:
“When people crave power fortune and fame, it’s not greed that’s driving them, but an anguished feeling of being unloved”
I’ve recognized this for years, but I couldn’t put it as eloquently as you. Yes I can feel sympathy for a person in that situation, but it’s a horrible thing to work for a person like that.
So true...and yet, i can't help feeling disappointment when i encounter those people.
I’ve worked around some very very wealthy people. They’re definitely not any happier than anybody else. What is wealth except hoarding of resources, and what’s what is a hoarder, but someone who has an emotional/mental issue to deal with.
I actually needed this video as I recently started my first job at a pizza place. I try to keep a smile on my face no matter what gets me down. But whenever I make a mistake, my trainer either looks at me in utter disappointment or curses me under his breath. If it wasn't for my needs, I wouldn't have hesitated to ask him to buzz off. However, I still try my best and look forward to get a better job later. I wonder if it's only me or other beginners encounter such issues too.
Very few people in management are there because they know how to manage people. You’re going to find, throughout your life, more often than not, your bosses will be a little incompetent and a great deal narcissistic, and take out both situations on their workers.
The secret is to not let that get inside of your head and affect how you feel about yourself.
@@beejls you are so right, I realise more every time that everyone seems to want to be the boss just to tell people what to do but almost no one can do the job right or have any interest whatsoever in motivating the employees or having good communication skills. Then you notice that they're just incompetent and have nothing to do with you
"If you love your work, if you enjoy it, you're already a success" - Jack Canfield
success does not mean happiness and satisfaction
@@curiousmode What is success to you?
To be honest, I don’t think human is made to be stuck in this money-oriented rat race. We’re meant so much more than.. this.
Really struggling with this idea recently.
True
In full agreement.
You are greater than your problems. And Jesus is greater than you. Don't worry He only brings salvation if you want to do as he says.
I will be free one day. But I will be free only if I’ll get the judgement of others out of my mind.
It’s so painfully difficult, especially with our Super Ego constantly judging me.
Your Super Ego constantly judging you? You need to find things that interest you to the point of not caring about what others think of you for it. For example, if you love to create art, and you yourself are proud of your creations. Stand strong with that. That is part of you, and those that don't like it can go to h3ll. 😇
Our Super Ego judges us when our Ego is too tilted towards the Id than the Super Ego. The fact that you know you will be free once you ignore the judgments of others (which is your Id clinging to external validation) is a great head start, and it certainly beats not being aware of what the hell is going on and mindlessly jumping through the Id's hoops
You cannot believe how much I needed this.
I used to value productivity (“how much can I get done!”), but now understand that connection, empathy and sharing knowledge are far more powerful (“I am part of something bigger than myself”) 💞
this type of video just makes me appreciate my mother so much for what she did for me during my childhood I never felt that I needed to impress anyone and she has always supported me in anything I wanted to do
Same here
Excessively comparing yourself to other people robs you of the joy in life. Realise that you are good enough just as you are. Placing your sense of self-worth upon how you compare to others is a recipe for a dissatisfied and insecure life. 🌟
How can you not compare yourself with others in the Social Media era?
It's so true, and it's so hard to do these days with social media! I'm grateful to have at least made it through most of my teenage years without this social media comparison. Learning and practicing recognizing your self worth is such a valuable skill.
@@teofitness1957 I think this is based on knowing your lane and what you're willing to do. Even if you're doing something similar to someone you're comparing yourself to, their hard work and extra hours can be your time to recover or to live outside of work that may be more worthwhile.
Great insight
Bro these Instagram influencers get so much money just by stripping naked so that creates jealousy while others work 4 jobs a day to provide for family of course people will compare with each other
"Excessive achievements are the legacy of emotionally damaged sense." been there. So true.
same
"Special enough by existing" - so right on!!!
😂
I think it's ok to have a boring job, as long as you get paid well, are treated respectfully and have enough free time everyday to enjoy
If you think the work you do adds value, then it’s unlikely to feel boring when you do it.
Agree
@@rexiioper6920 Sadly, almost everyone only at the end of their lives realizes that all jobs are "boring jobs". That's why they pay you to do them. Look for self worth and enlightenment elsewhere.
I guess he didn't cover a case like mine, where we work at boring job not to impress others but to fill in family responsibilities
Most of us aren't trying to impress our peers, we're trying to impress our families, to live up to the expectations we believe they have of us.
@@sarahleewatson To fulfill filial piety. "You owe your parents every cent and nickel you make because they made you and you need to repay them as much as you can" and that kind of shit.
It's a class thing I'm a cleaner to survive and well aware of classism.
Dude I don't like working ANY type of job but I don't have an option do I
@@jommydavi2197 😂 yes, exactly. That, and other nonesense we don't have time for.
This video is for people that already have it good. All I need from a job is to pay my essential bills without having to ask for help. And if im lucky, still have a little bit left so I can enjoy life.
Yea, it’s nonsense
this video (maybe even this channel as a whole) describes what should be happening .not what is happening.
Made me cry. I tried living up to my parents expectations and study but I ended up having a burnout followed by years of depression. I feel broken. I am jobless but too afraid to look for a job because I believe nothing will "make me be good enough".
I see that this isn't about finding the right job but learning to love myself as am, regardless of my capacity to work. My mother used to preach about how people who don't or can't work deserve to be killed. Ironic how this internalised belief is exactly what's keeping me, her child, from getting a job.
🤗
As the Buddha put it... everyone is interested in gain, pleasure, reputation & praise... the job is no exception
Happy the one who can get away from such traps...difficult, but not impossible.
@@YuyiLeal indeed! It is hard, but possible
@@TheDhammaHub
It lights up my heart hearing him again. I was getting worried thinking he might not be well!
Thanks for being here for us Sir!
“Don’t be pushed around by the fears in your mind. Be led by the dreams in your heart.” Keep smiling you will Succeed, sharing some love with ya all.
I loved working as a nursery/kindergarten teacher. The problem was it genuinely doesn’t pay enough to live on (especially when you take into account needing to save for a pension or trying to give your child a better life).
Your primary obligations are to yourself and family, not the kids at work
"Work cannot fix a deficit of love" 5:12 It hit me hard!
Didn't expect to be read to filth today lol. I realised a long time ago that my former (though it sometimes recurs) desperation to be famous - at anything - has almost nothing to do with money or wanting to be admired by large amounts of people, but everything to do with being incredibly lonely and fantasizing about ideal friendships and relationships with "special" people. I don't know if that's common, but it's definitely the case for me. I never felt unloved as a child - on the contrary, I was assessed by the people in my life as being somehow special or smarter or better, which really just put me under a lot of pressure to become exceptional when I'm actually just a normal person. A lot of my "dreams" actually are formed around what others have expected of me, used as excuses to get something else - to escape loneliness and misunderstanding, and to try and impress people who I consider exceptional, as if that might improve me somehow.
how are you feeling now?
Sounds like conditional love to me. I think OP is trying to fit definitions of love and unlove as it is commonly understood, while disregarding the fact that there was something lacking in their early life (whether language would call it love or not).
i dont want to be famous but I want my work to be appreciated by a wide range of people otherwise it feels pointless to put in so much work that nobody cares about
I had the same "dreams"
Thank you. I can see the path now. I can fail and try again in good conscience because the way forward is clear.
4:06 this is so me :'(
I'm breaking down just like that statue despite being successful, no one in my life knows my struggle and they still envy me. I just realised that I wasn't maybe loved properly when I was a kid, and I always crave to be the best, not for me, but for my parents and the hungry ego I've built. :'(
As a stranger who has just read your comment, I already feel the need to comfort you and treat you with compassion. Find love in others, whether they be strangers or familiar people. You will get better.
@@Slam_24 thank you for your comment, I'm in introvert who pretends to be an extrovert so I only fakely relate to people which exhaust me even more, my social life is a mess, I just keep smiling and making friends that I don't really want, still have not find someone I can truly relate to. I'm not sure how I can find love in others like you said, I'm all fked tbh.
You know that goes to show Monday doesn’t buy happiness. Find a hobby and get outside more. Realize what’s important and take care of yourself. You’ll see what truly matters. I don’t know you but your parents are probably already proud of you. Now it’s time for you to be proud of yourself :))
@@amecryst3484 you won't believe how happy I am to see your comment, it's really comforting and I promise you and myself I'll make a change, my parents are indeed proud of me but like you said I have to be proud of myself too!
Your Voice is like a Soft pillow .. I lean myself on . Thank u
*cries while eating grad student stipend-bought oatmeal*
😆
Lucky You - someone paid for Your oatmeal!
You can and should find enjoyment in your work. Doing so is very valuable to your life in many ways, including greatly increasing your probability of financial success. But you don't have to love, or even like your overall job to enjoy everyday aspects of it.
I am actually skipping my tasks and workload and here is perfectly timed School of Life videos hitting me right through the bones
Soooo happy to hear Alain's voice again
The greatest gift life has to offer is working hard at something worth doing
Amen.
Shut up
This channel is one of the best channels in UA-cam ever! Every video leaves me with a sense of growth and satisfaction.
I don't have a dream job. I simply do not dream of labour. I would rather have a job that doesn't fulfill me but pays the bills and leaves me with enough free time to do what I want than "turning my passion into my job" or some other capitalist bullshit like that
Same
Yes, this is why I don’t mind a 9-5. I have a lot of free time to do my own thing, going to parks, cafes, working out. My work is not the center of my life
I had that same feeling life is so much more than a job!
yeah well but dont you think the amount of free time is very little compared to the time you work. so most of your life would be filled with something that you dont really care about and you are only left with a few hours a day to do the things you like. I think that is even more capitalist. So you spend most of your time (your life) doing something that doesnt fulfill you and you are okay with the very little time 'offered' to you.
1-The conquest of happiness bertrand russell.
2-The consolations of philosophy by alain de botton
3-erich fromm the art of loving
4-milan kundera-the unbearable lightness of being
work cannot fix a deficit of love.
really strong message.
I’m obsessed with this guy’s voice.
No no 😭 don't get obsessed it hurts
For the past few years I've worked teaching English online. Never thought I'd be a teacher, never really wanted to be (never connected super deeply with kids)... but it allowed me to move to Spain and gives me control over my own schedule, and enough free time (I work from 11-3 daily except Sundays) to enjoy life, get outside and explore, and work on creative projects that make me feel fulfilled. I've even been able to connect with children more than I ever thought I would. Ideally one day I'll find success through my creative pursuits, but until then I'm working on maintaining this peace that I feel around my routine and this part of my life. A humble living, but more than enough for my happiness. I feel like the more people who seek that peace (and it isn't always easy) the less burnout/stress/toxic work environments would be so rampant
I was in a career I chose for its income but never was passionate about, it caused me excessive anxiety and panic attacks, I couldn't work under pressure.i finally decided to leave it for perusing the career I'm really passionate about. And I can't describe how relieved I'm, so calm and motivated... even though it's much less money, but I don't care, I enjoy it. Always remember, desire over finance
Thank you for bringing the voice back. No one else will do.
Everytime video pops I get excited and this was the best I mean each words were touching my heart and every single people feel this on a part of life ❤️
I do not care about all the other stuff of approval as long as what im doing is morally acceptable, I'm glad doing it, I'm growing and learning, helping others and yes supporting myself
💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯
"If you love your work, if you enjoy it, you're already a success!"
Jack Canfield
Why is it so complicated to just be yourself without seeking validation from everyone around you
Because of low self-esteem, bad parents, childhood traumas... These lead to a never-ending desire for admiration
Because validation feels good. And when you see others getting it and not you, you feel empty
I'm not good at drawing but I feel I can draw for this channel.
Thanks for making my drawing feel worth something.
how to love your work boils down really to just one thing: have good bosses or no bosses at all if you are lucky.
Oh my God... I don't even understand all the words used in these videos, but they are pure gold.
They are so easy to watch and so meaningful...
Why didn't I find this channel earlier? 🤔
U get things on right time keep learning 😅and growing thanks for existing and making world better
WHOA what a powerful question "what might have I done with my life if I had felt properly loved from the start" wow
Just a( if type) question ❓ experiment
I have been working in customer service for almost 6 years now. Every time I meet new people and tell them what I do (becuase they ask, I never like to talk about work with people since there are so many more interesting things to talk about) I can see they kind of feel pity for me when they say "ooohhh must be difficult always with angry customers on the phone". I am not on the phone but I used to be and still it was ok. My collegues complain about that job every day too and they often feel over qualified to do it (...).
I have often felt lonely because I don't feel like this about it. I enjoy it, no one ever puts me pressure, I can work slowly If I wanted, money are enough to grant me my indipendence. I was offered a higher position some years ago, I tried it, I hated it and came to what I was doing before, feeling happy about it.
My job can be boring but I like to find little ways to personalise it. I don't like to be judged for my work and I don't agree that "growing professionally" necessarily means growing as a persons. There are countless ways to grow as a person (The School Of Life definitely helps) and these may not related to jobs and carrier.
Alain for the rescue again. Perfect timing.
thanks .... I embrace the sense of foolishness I feel. I laugh at myself, and strive to listen more deeply to my inner self rather than what I believe the world expects of me. I love myself for being, at least in this moment!
Obviously, it helps if your job is something you're deeply passionate about. I'm lucky to do what I love in helping others find romantic fulfillment.
But if the spark isn't initially there, try to find the hidden value there: building your skills, challenging your comfort zone, realizing the impact it makes on others, connecting further with your team, or the growth you need now to find something more rewarding later.
I have found your insights very helpful. Thank you for sharing
Doing the job I have now puts me in a position where I can't meet people in my age group. I feel isolated and now I'm craving for meaningful social interactions. Social media only gives a false sense of community bc at the end of the day I still feel lonely.
Your voice is so calming
Well. That was confronting. In a gentle way
As always, school of life nails it. 💗
Thank u
Such a great video...'extrinsic' reasons really are such a trap!...Much better to look within and follow what really really brings us joy - in full honesty with ourselves.
'A job you enjoy and that pays for reasonable material needs' ha, in 2021 both of those are off the table for about 80% of people.. Now our requirements are 'A job where it doesn't conflict with my second and third job and enough money to pay the rent this week'...
I work so I can support my cats. That's enough motivation for me.
Describes profoundly accurate my life in terms of work
There may be hardly 1% of worldly population who will be loving their jobs.
Everyone is not lucky enough like Steve Jobs, we have to get used to it what we are doing and enjoy the things outside of work.
Unfortunately I agree with this
Oh, well. I love my job, but I don’t like my salary lol. I know ppl who hate their jobs but love their salary. 🤷♀️
I think those of us with the freedom to choose our career paths are often taught to think about it and make choices in the wrong way. We're always asked 'what do you want to do?' but I feel like being taught to identify and work towards our values in work or life would be more beneficial in the long run.
I think that we should at least try to get a job we're passionate about instead of just settling from the get-go for sth we do just for the status or pay. If we cant, then at least we tried 🤷🏾♀️
You think the pinnacle of jobs is Steve Jobs work? laymen
Beautiful and enlightening work. Thank you.
I wasn't ready to cry like this
No one was
Another helpful video and Alain's soothing narration delights my senses, but I fear I may have a nightmare tonight because of the nose sketches.
To me, it seems more important to like the people you work with than to like the job itself.
I have no idea what I am doing anymore at 60. I love painting, tutoring art and helping people find their creativity. I told my headteacher at school I wanted to do Art, Dance and Cooking. She said No and would not let me. And actually I have always danced, painted and cooked. I worked in teaching food to children and families then it became a difficult task as lifting and carrying is part of it. Sitting at home drinking coffee, painting for the love of it, and even exhibiting soon has become a way of life. I didn’t buy a house again after I lost mine in the crash in the 80’s and travelled instead. Now I rent and cycle everywhere. It is about what you are prepared to give up for freedom. It is not easy no, but I would never go back to an i]office job typing all day with back pain and exhaustion. Stppped that in 2006 as I thought if I keep doing this my body won’t hack it and my dance will also stop.
I was expecting inspiring tips to be better at work and all I got was “you are not loved enough”
Well, being better at work requires skill and experience, being motivated however, is a thing that we have to strive for moment to moment, no matter if you love your job or not.
"what a week huh?"
"captain, it's only wednesday"
Alain’s voice ❤️
I feel like this way over simplifies the human experience. Even well loved people with secure attachments struggle with loving their job.
I love this channel!! It gives me so many insights about my life. Thank you
Realtor here. Would have chosen a dazzling career (pilot, hotelier, Minister of Tourism, etc.), but I love real estate more. And it kinda pays well, once you get to understand the business.
Well seems to me that this channel has a fixation on the amount of love we got as children.
I mean of course it is the root to a lot of problems but it can't really be blamed for everything bad that happens to us.
Yeah, our built environment and economic policy have a lot to do with it too. I disagree, love is not enough when you are sleeping on a park bench.
@@kagitsune that's what I had in my mind. Come to think of it, I can't recall a video of The School of Life about it.
Exactly. This does have a depressing and defeatist tone for those of us who weren’t loved. Wtf are these “redemptive substitutes” and is that truly all we can hope for?
Yep, I don't understand how one can love a job. Err, I mean... I needed money to support myself, found a job, then another, then settled for my current, which is okeish. I can love my wife, parent, kid, pet, life in general. You mostly work to eat. Perhaps I'm too old to understand it.
the only voice i am willing to listen to .
The system is designed so that we chase money otherwise no one would do those low end jobs in the first place
What beautiful words!
Wow..I just finished my work that I hate .. perfect time as usual 🖤
And I am genuinely crying !
Alain makes any video great.
I was incredibly loved, but very stressed at work. I don’t think this video addresses the right things.
I am hugely drawn to the "modest choice" careers - my struggle is the commitment these require and sacrifice to wellbeing and family
Needed this!
Whatever you just showed was my childhood idea of life. But as I grew up this all faded by words of people around me. My closest relatives are obsessed by these 3 factors and now I am turning the same way. Right now it's just a wishful thinking to have a kind of world you just showed.
0:00 "In a perfect world, man like me shouldn't exist."
One of the best TSOL video till date
I understand what the video is driving at, that it's more fulfilling to work with a sense of purpose than for material possession, but I guess I was hoping to find reasons to stay motivated or change my perspective. I'm already in a loving relationship but that doesn't seem to be saving me from career burnout.
Think the video is more about putting work in context within a full life. It need not be an overwhelming thing.
Brilliant, thank you so much for posting !
I love the message too
Finally Alain is here❤
it was so beautiful.it lit up like my mind 💫
Was agreeing to most of it except the part of not being loved as the cause of distress. Maybe for a part of the population but most people are driven by countless other stuff like envy (exacerbated by social media), greed, tradition (family makes money so I should too) etc....and they all could be loved and protected when they were children and have loving spouses etc...
Yes, yes, yes and more yes!
Thank you for this video
Lesson 1... Be loved
Lesson 0 have a hope for love
This message is wonderful!
Currently watching this at work
U procastunatiopn