Dating apps are more dangerous than you think
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- Опубліковано 11 лис 2024
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Meeting people in real life is hard, maybe harder these days than ever before. When you meet someone in real life and want to ask them on a date, you’re taking a big risk. And we’re all hyper-aware of that risk, well, most of us. The odd thing about this is that even with all of their issues, dating apps seem to work.
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The more choices you give a human, the harder it becomes for he or she to make a choice. That goes for movies on netflix, diner menus, and especially dating apps. The internet has completely ruined personal connections and it will never be the same. If you can, try to meet someone in the real world.
they will practically dart to you at the grocery store. the more things change, the more they stay the same. we go shopping for pretty much everything
But how is the question
Well, yes you have more choice. If you or your partner are not strong enough to stop dating others while starting a relationship with you, you or your partners are just not into it (it being the other one, or into the concept of exclusivity) that's it. It's not bad or wrong.
I always sticked to a simple rule of stopping flirting around when I started seeing someone I want to give a chance. This didn't change with tinder. I know some of the people I started dating didn't follow this rule and that's ok, I just always made it clear that I rely on exclusivity when it turns in a relationship and moved on if the other was not ready. There is no drama around it.
@@MrCassett go outside
The paradox of choice
This guy went from space topics to videos about society and I’m for that
Honestly, I love the content but the content about our society is disconcerting...
Nah he should stay in his original lane
Knowing about space ain’t gonna help me in my day to day so 🤷♀️
I would love if he made both tho
I love this kinda stuff. Both are great but this new form of content is great
My roommate once invited someone over to our apartment. I walked in on them on their first date. Both were sat on the couch, on their phones, swiping away on Tinder whilst comparing matches. There was a sad irony to the whole situation.
That's a very interesting first date!
@@ApertureThinking did they get married ?
Legend has it they are still sitting on that couch swiping away
Lmaooooo
Friends with benefits, gotta love it.
As somebody who is currently trapped in this world of online dating, I've always known it was a very messed up world and I was aware of the dangers that the algorithms imposed, but this video kind of just summed everything up in a poetic way. The intimacy of dating and getting to know someone is completely lost on their selling point of having unlimited options and always wanting more. Safe to say I will be deleting these dating apps.
Dating apps save a lot of time. You can advertise that you’re just looking for casual sex, meet someone with the same ideas, and get it done. No bullshit small talk to beat around the bush. You can talk with them over the phone or through text message to get to know them saving time and money, instead of having to set up a date, pay for her meal, talk for two hours just to find out she’s annoying and doesn’t want to have sex till marriage. Yes, plenty of cons with those apps, but they save a lot of time and energy that you normally would waste on 3-4 dates with a person . I can tell if I like this girl and if she is looking for the same thing I am just by looking at her profile and talking for 30 mins on the phone instead of leaving my house, taking her somewhere nice and spending three hours when in the end, all she wanted was a one night stand which could’ve been easily understood and executed in30 mins over an app
@@X.L.B1 all you can communicate via an app you can also communicate in person. The ONLY advantage of dating apps is knowing the availability of a potential mate.
That‘s it. And that only applies for people that are on the same dating app as you. So it‘s limited again.
@@MisterK9739 Who do you know only uses ONE dating app at a time? That’s just poor time management. And yes, you could communicate the same things that you do through an app in person, but the reality is that people are more open, and they are behind a screen, and that’s just the truth. A woman may not tell you that she’s only looking for sex in person because she’s trying to seem classy, but when it’s an app, and she sees that you’ve already expressed that, she’s more likely to just be honest and open. I work for a call center, believe me when I say, people speak in act differently over the phone or through the Internet.
I've found absolute success in dating apps to the extent that now I am living with my partner and in an extremely happy relationship. Dating apps are not a problem. They are a tool. It is up to the individual, whether or not they use the tool efficiently. If you could simply use them as a means to meet more single women and perhaps improve your dating prowess, your chances of discovering someone who is highly compatible with you will exponentially increase.
@@X.L.B1 I do believe there to be a lot of pro’s to these dating apps aswell, people are a lot more open and straightforward with their intentions and it makes the whole process a lot quicker and not to mention, cheaper aswell. But I think the problems start to arise when you use for a long period of time. From a personal stand point in the beginning, I found that I had a genuine connection with the people I matched with and went on dates with, but the longer I stayed the more I found myself slipping into this “maybe Ill find someone better, or more attractive” mindset. It’s definitely a problem on an individual level. I can’t say that everyone will face this or start to think this way. But the apps kind of promote this way of thinking. But most definitely given the right type of person and attitude, people can form strong and healthy relationships with the help of dating apps.
I think dating apps were made with good intentions, but like everything, humanity just takes a good thing and ruins it. It's sad.
True
It isn’t humanity that makes the thing bad…stop falsifying the better angels of our nature please.
If humans aren't responsible for making the world dangerous, whom is then?
@@giselletdc1871 maybe you could renew your library card, and log off that screen since you can’t seem to Google the answer. The answer is there. Don’t blame humanity in one broad stroke. To erase all the amazing things humanity has done for this world…you’re what’s called a useful idiot. So when another Hitler comes around, you just give up and say: oh well this is how humans are! Again, log off.
You can't say we had a positive or negative effect on a thing over a long period of time, because we made the apps, and we use the apps. We had a human effect on them. What we see right now is just an output coming from a high degree of complexity in the input across time. Humans just interacted with the current models of dating apps, and this is what we got. There is nothing to ruin, because there is no better result possible with the current models, since we're not talking about a subset of potentially biasedly selected humans but instead humans as a whole. You can argue the context which datings apps exist in IS the selection bias, but that's only valid to a certain limited extent when these apps are so popular, and it's basically impossible to find anyone over 18 and under 40 not from the 3rd world that hasn't at least tried a dating app.
I’ve been thinking about this a lot. Dating Apps will be a contributing factor to the downfall of intimacy. Online, we don’t seem to see the humanity of the people on the other side. We just swipe on what’s appealing to us. When you get a match, you’re likely not the only person that the other person has matched with (especially if you match with a girl). It’s just your turn with them and nothing more. They have dozens of other people to fall back on and everyone is expendable. People will always want more and more as we’re constantly exposed to attractive people online. The grass will always seem greener on the other side and your value is diminished to how attractive you look.
Do not go to dating apps for intimacy.
Just like in Logan's run!
they're just as dangerous as porn as far as cheap dopamine fixes go
Honestly it shouldn’t even be called a ‘dating’ app. You’re so correct about the removal of the human element. Imagine you could first hand see the person you’re swiping; their qualities, who they are, how they live, how they choose to carry themselves through their struggles - you’ve just swiped interested upon their face. What a disrespect to every person’s narrative.
@@Jess-737 I’m not really that old and don’t have experience with bars, but my assumption would be that the humanization aspect changes. It’s much easier to look past someone’s humanity and just swipe to get rid of them when you don’t like them online. In person, you can physically tell and people have reactions to things. While yes, this idea has probably existed for a long time, online it’s likely much more visceral.
Well some of us don't have any real choices to use these. Whatever person we are looking for either doesn't exist or lives in a different part of the world. The apps make it a little easier to find someone you're possibly into
i matched with a girl who ended up getting a boyfriend (she wanted kids, i didnt, so it was never going to work anyways). AFTER getting a boyfriend, i noticed her profile picture changed on tinder. i asked her how come, when she was in a relationship.
she explained something to me, that i never knew, but have since confirmed with several other female friends.
she was still using the account, but simply not responding to matches. it was effectively "a confidence boost" sort of game for her. the idea was, and i quote:
"how many times can i swipe yes until i get a match". she also said the most she ever got was 7, but usually it was only 2-3. she did this usually several times a day if she was feeling down or something was bothering her.
this was about 2 years ago, and to this day that still blows my mind
damn that's a crazy story that we like to have on our show :) , would you be interested ?
That definitely speaks for the minority, I don’t know a single woman who does this
There are definitely people out there who use dating apps for this sole purpose. I don't know anyone personally who does this, but a lot of profiles on Bumble advertise this
Huh, interesting. When you think about it, it is like a game then, almost like a raffle draw, lol
Let's be real, we all know what she was doing, she was keeping second and third options available just in case. Hell, statistically, you're more likely to be in a monogamous relationship that you get cheated on than be in one where you don't, so she was probably the cheater or inching her way to doing it with potential fucks right at her fingertips, just as the boyfriend was.
Dating apps are a waste of time. I've used them in the past and always got hurt. Never again. I think with the advent of online dating, it has made it harder for men especially to find someone. I'm 43 and never had a proper girlfriend. Online dating should be closed down because it causes so many problems.
Same age and never had proper boyfriend lol
@Bogna1 I would like a woman in my life but I find it hard to talk to people.
Don't give up.@@davidyoung9561
I agree. Online dating should be closed down.
I had 4 matches on bumble and none made an attempt to reach out. I really question what these people are even doing on a dating app cause the whole point is to find a relationship or hook up but I’m not into that. If you are looking for a relationship, match and don’t message the person PLEASE DO EVERYONE A FAVOR AND STAY OFF THE APP.
Pre-Covid, my experience on Bumble was literally that. Match but then expire 24h later. Switched to Tinder during covid, and had a little more luck there.
I feel the same! Even after I messaged a few people, their reactions were utterly disappointing, as if they weren't at all interested in even having a conversation with anyone.
It's ridiculous!
From someone who has just quit the apps I'd suspect they have many matches lined up, it creates this collectors mentality which is quite sick when you think about it.
I'd much rather do singles events or speed dating and just meet up with people.
I bet that the swiping hand movement triggers a psychological effect of discarding people and further increasing our levels of indifference towards others by looking at others like commodities.
Yep
we truly live in a black mirror dystopia
Ugh had two popular dating apps for seven months. Over hundreds and hundreds of messages felt as if it was impossible keep up with the daily responses also could never bring myself to swipe at all on people's pictures. It got so bad the app would message me and remind to interact how I wasn't following guidelines. Two weeks ago deleted both it felt damn good!
You say you had hundreds of messages but ask a guy if he had the same experience you had using dating apps.
yeah also they tried to keep you single forever , remember it its free then you're the product!
Honestly, I am the type of person, who is avoiding the whole dating scene, for this exact reason. I want a connection, but not based on appearance, but rather based on interactions, personality, and that feeling of "everything clicks perfectly."
I mean you can meet people out of dating apps, it just takes a bit more courage!
If you want to connect with people, go out and connect. The world is yours for the taking. There will be a lot of pain and rejection, but if you're tough enough it will pay off
I gave up on dating apps. I’m not even ready for a serious relationship right now. I’ve been on a self improvement journey lately and feeling a lot more secure about myself. Maybe one day I’ll pique someone’s interest, but not today. And I’m fine with that.
In that boat myself life goes on as do we
Right there with you. It's pure freedom
Same
I'm 65. Believe me, it wasn't very much fun back in the days of single events (in one I actually did meet my wife of 30 years, the love of my life) and personal ads. Now dating apps seem so much more difficult and unpleasant- it seems- especially if you're a guy- you need skin as thick as the armor on an M1 Abrams tank, no joke. I really feel sad for those who feel they must resort to apps without considering other options, as difficult as they may be...
And what would be those other options?
I'm genuenly curious
there's no other options, people dont mingle in real life anymore, everything is online, people dont even have social skills anymore
@Esteban Rodriguez Hi Esteban- thank you for your reply. I apologize if my comment may have been misconstrued. I wasn't trying to be snarky. I truly understand from watching these videos and from what my own kids- now approaching 30 and still single- tell me about dating apps- it starts out exciting, but quickly becomes a disappointing, depressing drag. I understand this that finding a potential partner on a dating app can seem like winning the lottery; of all the people I've known or met who have used them, just one, a young woman who was my physical therapist after I had knee surgery, met her husband that way. Some 40+ years ago in my 20s when I was single, long before dating apps, after years of disappointment in trying to find love in "alternative" ways I finally resorted to singles events and personal ads, and although I did finally meet my wife that way, it took years of disappointment and the whole process was also iffy at best and, as I said, definitely not fun. As to your question, what are the alternatives to apps - I admit ignorance as to what they might be in 2023. When I was in my 20s and 30s I was advised to pursued activities which I naturally enjoyed such as hiking and cycling clubs where I was able to at least meet people. You could still find someone at the local supermarket, coffee shop, or whatever. I even met a young lady whom I dated briefly on a subway platform, something which would be impossible now. I wish I had some advice to add, but in any event again thank you for your reply, I apologize for my ignorance as to "alternatives" to apps in 2023, and I wish you all good luck.
@@davidwhitney1171 Thank you for your reply David! it gives me hope that you also struggled to find love but after all that struggle in the end it came to you.
I was asking about the options because I feel I'm not really good at socializing and that became even harder after the pandemic, but maybe that's a story I tell myself and I just have to try out new ways of meeting people. Hopefully when I have more time and mind for it I will put effort on meeting more and new people.
I wish the best for you, your wife and your family! and thank you for your advice and sharing your experience 🙂
Men on dating apps aren't looking for romance or life partners they are looking for free sex. Free of cost, free of investment, free of attachment. Easier and faster than order a pizza, a pizza would cost more.
Then there are other men who are bored and wanting to take revenge on the next woman over their broken hearts/ego, just someone to entertain them until they find someone or something better.
Heck, even serial rapists and killers are using dating apps. Scammers have a blast.
And thats it
I'd rather be alone than use an app to date.
I'd rather stay alone than dating a man.
Same.
@@pinkimietz3243 As a man I don't blame you .
@@pinkimietz3243 mans hating outta nowhere 💀
I'd rather buy persons in the black market than use an app to date. No wait...
You've put my cluttered thoughts into a cohesive narrative and thank you for that. ❤️
That's great to hear! Thank you for watching.
We're slowly evolving away from feelings and emotions.
*devolving. Emotions are important to feel fulfillment and like you have a purpose. It’s sad to see people slowly express less and less love when it’s desperately needed in society now.
Not in the slightest. Emotions are the most primal part of our brain. We would more likely evolve to walking on our hands before we evolved to not experience emotions
@@JaysonT1 It's all chemical. It's possible to take someone who is unable to experience human connection, give them a chemical to balance them into experiencing something they never felt before. It's also possible to disrupt that chemical production and turn them numb.
Good
@@907-q7u Exactly Love Is An Illusion So Are Emotions Even Your Own Perception And Five Senses Are An Illusion That Determines Your Perspective You Have No More Capacity To Love Than Any Other Animal With An Active Libido
A few of my friends met their significant others through Tinder. Like everything, be aware of the dangers and do it in moderation. Not everyone in there is seeking the ego boost, the hook ups, the short fun. A large majority are just busy with their jobs and unable to meet new people.
"significant others through Tinder" i'm Dead :)
@@Sociality_im is the concept of getting someone that foreign to you
@Sociality_im Unless you have the horrible character trait of treating people as simply just swipes, there are many people who have used literally any app, not just dating apps to meet people online and they are compatible. People even meet on games lol. The demonization of dating apps is for people with a victim mentality. Many including myself find success on dating apps or other apps or no apps. It's simply called dating. I see that the victim mentality in this comments section is massive.
I actually met my husband online…
Oh my God! THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!! People are ALWAYS recommending dating apps. It’s so annoying 🙄. One thing I’ve noticed is it’s always the people who recommend them the most who actually use them the least.
I'm so glad to have found my partner 10 years ago in "the real world". Still remember the first time I saw her and when I subsequently had amassed enough courage to talk to her and ask her out. She remembers it was her who asked me out, and that's probably what actually happened.
If I were younger I'd most likely be using dating apps and would have a completely different memories associated with my first times. That idea scares me and I'm so glad to not have to live in that alternative reality. It seems dystopian.
hold that person close and never let them go. Dating is drastically different now than it was 10 years ago thats for sure. I very rarely see anyone wanting or finding themselves in long-term relationships nowadays, the times i do they're usually met from an app, and they're very toxic and abusive, cheating, etc. Dating has gone from building real connections with real people and making happy memories together, to swiping mindlessly on pictures, matching and either never talking or having very dull, short lived conversations followed by unmatching. Personally, I feel like dating apps and social media as a whole have crippled dating
Thanks for shoving it in our faces what the he'll! you watching this video for 🙃
Just my opinion but from a person who doesn't fit very well in the world which is driven by social media and apps like TikTok, Tinder etc... I just feel sad and odd when I face topics like this. It's like I have a feeling that we are becoming to be "less humans" in our actions if that makes any sense. Normal human behavior and acts have not lost their power but I think something is shifted and I have no idea where this road will lead us and that's a bit scary for me.
stay strong bro, they are really good people out there for you to be friends with, keep you head up!🤟
Before you engage in a relationship, make sure you fall in love with yourself first.
Kinda hard when society pushes you to be as fake as possible to “fit in”.
That's a myth. It just makes things way easier
@@renjiaow3742 you can always hang out with outsiders like yourself and find more likeminded people in internet/yoga classes/acting classes/whatever. And actually, loving yourself - is knowing that you don't need to "fit in", you just need find peace within. Imo.
@@renjiaow3742 fit in with who? Ditch social media and go do things you enjoy in the real world. Go hiking, join a club, find a meetup, try a cooking or painting class. Find people doing things you enjoy by just doing them yourself
That's just bullshit. Loving and caring for my dogs taught me you can learn how to care more about yourself by caring more about others first.
This is why I've refused to ever download a dating app out of principle
I have been researching and talking about the severe problems plaguing the new generation's romantic interactions. It is a fascinating thing to learn about, because by in large it only "benefits" a tiny minority. I'm glad to see a video bringing it more to light!
I'm horrible at describing myself, and I hate taking selfies, so that already makes online dating instantly unappealing.
You already discovered the two traits pertaining to yourself that require polishing. Knowing what needs to be improved is the foundational step to getting better at dating, and perhaps even at online dating. If you put that into perspective then actually making progress in those fields becomes rather simple. Dating online is simply called "dating" in this society because women always check your profile to see what you're like because it is the most efficient vetting process for a mate as of right now. People text more often than they call or meet in person. Like everything we do, there are people who prosper and on the flipside there are people who stay complaining that nothing good happens to them when the onus is theirs to utilize their cognitive abilities to do things more efficiently than the rest in order to reap the rewards. Knowing is really half the battle. If you honed your ability in describing yourself and took decent photos, you'd be well on your way to making a profile that women find intriguing.
@@Adrafinil- It's insanely dumb that your dating success is determined by how well you take photos, or hell if you even take photos of yourself at all.
@Kaleb Kemper You're being quite obtuse if you think that is what anyone has said. Your chance of dating success can be exponentially increased if you use social media efficiently but if you don't, it simply stays the same. Can you nail a picture to the wall without a hammer? Sure you can, but you can do it much quicker with a hammer than without.
@@Adrafinil- you don’t need to say it explicitly for it to be true. I have social media and I use it just fine. But I don’t really seek out taking pictures when I’m out doing shit. So you think social media success should be a major factor too is what you’re saying? That sounds fucking horrible.
@@Adrafinil- What about people who dont like social media or dont want to use it for privacy reasons? are you saying they have to work harder to date when they can do what anyone has done for the last century?
I tried every single dating app for years, and never once it ever worked for me. Could never find love. We live in a artificial world. I only wish I came from the world that my parents came from before the Internet and dating apps.
I agree those days men respected women took things slow, there are men like that out there, but very few online.
Same here, I tried dating apps but they weren’t working for me. That’s too much work to put in.😓
I deleted all dating apps a few weeks ago and I've felt better and more confident ever since.
I was on bumble and alot of women messaged and then ghosted. I went on about three years after and the same women tried to add me again. These people objectify people and probably have no memory of who they have talked to. I deleted it and will never go back
Sometimes it’s a scam, yes they will use the same picture for years to catfish innocent people
I think dating apps just reveal what's inside of us as human beings. At our core, we are vain and cruel, selfish and entitled. We are taught to be this way from childhood to adulthood. The fact that men and women complain about the dating market they control only shows that we are trapped in a matrix of our own making. We are the Authors of our misery and loneliness.
Idk I think I disagree
I disagree too, Im a gay man, and it's really hard for me to date in clubs or just normal places in general because mayority of them are either more older than me or they just don't exist.
So having tinder make things easier and I'm actually talking right now to a really funny guy, he's not attractive but he's hilarious. Never been with a guy and in less than a day Im talking to one and I have 23 likes of other guys.
Lies again? Phone Stalker
Poetic.
Don’t think this is true. The vast majority of men would jump at the chance with even just an average woman who is nice to them.
The idea that there is always someone better because of "unlimited" options is so wrong.
There's nothing wrong with a person going on different dates if they are just dating and haven't found someone that truly holds their interest. As long as they aren't playing with people's emotions.
I’ve had zero dates on dating apps, sites, and in real life and I’m 32. It’s just not the same as it used to be. Love doesn’t seem to mean anything anymore.
Passport
Escape the West and watch it burn from far away
@@jasontandy3357 It's better in Central Europe, but the online dating thing is a massive thing here too. I escaped the West in 2015 permanently.
Learn how to become attractive to yourself and then to women and the dates will come. Its not like you are entitled to dates simply because you exist. Put some work in and stop crying about love when you are have not learned to become a loveable person.
Damn that's sounds crazy! what dating app did you used ?
Honestly such an amazing video. Thank you and keep making content please🙏
I've been using the internet since 1993. And you sir, are correct, online dating back then up until about 2010 was looked down on. I fully remember using online dating and my friends and family at that time, made fun of me. Times have changed!
Yep. And it was that way for a good reason, I think. Needs to be looked at that way now.
Yep
was easier as you were lots of younger. It always get harder to meet someone as you age.
I recall reading, 90 % of the women on tinder are only interested in 10% of the men. I'm def not in that 10% so I dropped it. Then found someone I had worked with
Thought it was 80/20 its 90/10 now? Lmfao.
@@Keyon_Wilson idr honestly. It was just the realization that it was a time sink honestly
It's 95 to 5. That's just how it is. These blue pill simps don't wanna believe this.
yeah bro , tinder is sucks lol
Most girls on there are there for an ego boost
The most unrealistic thing about this video is the fact that the guy was actually getting matches and not bots/ghosted
That, my friend, is what called the commodification of love, intimacy and relationships
As a 16 year old, I second the message in this video so much.
Dating at this age is horrible from what I've heard from my friends experiences,
if I hadn't found my second half I'd have thought love is dead.
Today's society sucks, but there's still people out there that will treat you right! just don't look for love 'dating' app. They're realistically only ego boosters, or hook up apps.
Bruh
You don't have your "second half"😂😂 shut up kid you shouldn't even be dating
Umm okay get your head somewhere else other than dating as a Teen, yes im a Mom you don't want to make the wrong choices okay people and relationships come in go don't break your own heart now you'll regret it !
When you turn 25, start looking for a provider man. Don’t take any boys your age seriously unless they are showing with ACTION that they want you.
@@bw-dn1wp his name is Carlos lmao. And that's dog shit "advice" people needa stay within their age group
Back in 2019 I tried dating apps and while it wasn't a good experience I met some decent people some of which I even keep in touch today. I tried again in 2022 and it really made me feel terrible cause I'd get alot of matches but after just a day or two getting to know someone and thinking its going well I just get ghosted or unmatched. Like it sucks for me cause I genuinely enjoy getting to know people and talking but I hit a brick wall so many times I've just decided to keep to myself
Things changed A LOT after covid. The dating scene has gotten exponentially worse. COVID pushed the world to be much more digital
P a r t
Of
T h e
P l a n
I was about to say, be glad you got some matches? I’ve never gotten one that wasn’t a scam lol
But turns out it sucks regardless with the ghosting culture 😣
i rly love your videos and how you formulate these ideas and problems. I can rly relate to this as I have more online interactions with others than real ones. i feel like as someone thats online a lot of the time its the loneliness you feel and that dopamine hit you get when clicking with someone is easier to do online. not sure for others but thats how i am. Thankyou for bringing this to light i have been struggling with some of these issues and keep u ur vids! love how you are posting more frequently
Thank you for sharing your story. I am glad this video has resonated with you. Appreciate the support!
Super Nice, I really can't help but feel an existential crisis from every new upload
What a great video, it's also so extremely superficial and shallow, judging people based on their looks, without even giving them a chance to show who they really are. The more time I spent on swiping platforms the more I realized that I became just as shallow
Asking people out in person is a risk now.
I’ve had someone see me in person and then match me on a dating app to tell me they saw me and found me attractive, but felt more comfortable asking to get to know me through the app because they didn’t want to face rejection through a physical interaction.
Maybe the person has social anxiety. Maybe you can start chatting, then call, then video call then date in person.
2:10 I was very young, but I also remember the “Sad Ads” in the local newspapers. 😂
Such an interesting story in the beginning. I like the way you narrate
This channel is so great!
Aside from the addictive effects and loss of empathy and sympathy, it can harm self esteem as well. For some it might push them to develop an ego and crave the constant validation, and for others it will make them feel unwanted and unworthy. I was never interested in dating in the first place, much less the prospect of online dating. I don't really understand how you can be interested in meeting someone from a picture alone. I guess it wouldn't matter much if it were in the context of ONS, but that never appealed to me either. From my understanding, online dating has simply become another manifestation of capitalism. People aren't people anymore; people are the product, at least according to online dating and capitalism. I don't know about you, but being a product on a virtual 'shelf' doesn't appeal to me much.
Hit the nail on the head with the commodity point. People have been reducing themselves to little curated snapshots and that false front will eventually break down and the other person might wanna move on.
Current state of dating is also quite poor so I think that’s why people turn to online dating. Another reason is the anxiety people get when face to face. I think that’s why there are a lot of ghosters and no show-ers.
Yup. As a man that uses dating apps, its hard to find a woman that'll remain interested without her ghosting your and/or losing interest. I've even had a few women give me their phone number. So you'd think that you've got her. You keep the conversation going via text, maybe you even call each other from time to time, maybe plan a date to meet in person. Then, out of nowhere, she stops replying to your messages, and ghosts you. Thats the reality.
Be patient lads, that person will come like a thief in the night and you won't even expect it
Nobody is going to come, there is no "One" or "Soulmate".
Be the best version of yourself, learn about female nature and prioritize your goals over anything else.
@@mdxiv6453 facts
until that, a lot of strangers will ruin the one that will take pity on you..
no sir, better alone than with leftovers
Not likely without some action. Numerous people are single because they just wait for something to happen without being proactive.
@@mdxiv6453 damn straight!
I really like this style of video!
Stock asset clips, plain texts, a clear message, a soothening voice.
Keep it up!
I have been on two dating apps dates, weird to say the least.
The first date the man failed to tell me that he had a girlfriend and wanted a second one because he was scared he would put potential partners off, that was um...awkward.
The second date was incredibly socially awkward, he was red in the face and I struggled to talk to him but he sent me a message "you didn't like me, did you?"
I sent him a message saying "His nervousness was making me nervous so usually I give people a second date to get over their nervousness"
Then, because I had to travel 40 minutes to the date and he lived an hour away I thought he wasn't worth it because I had plenty of more matches so I told him that I didn't want a second date because of the distance I had to travel then I unmatched him and instantly felt regret and shame because I usually would give people a second chance and I usually would make more of an effort to travel to see them, I didn't even give him a chance to respond. It felt so dehumanising, it is not usually how I would react when I tell someone I don't want to see them again usually I allow the conversation to go on until we are both satified with the conclusion of the relationship. God, I will never do that again but I had so many matches as a girl so I could afford to just cut off the relationship and move on, it felt so cruel.
Now, I decided to use the site differently. If I talk to a person for 5 minutes and I see they are trying to talk to me, I offer them a date then if I like them I give them my number at the date, If I don't like them I tell them straight away to their face so everything is done face to face not over text, then, once I have given them my number I can focus on that person and I don't go back on the app again until we both agree to end the relationship.
Well, that is how I am going to do it in the future, I am not going to fall into the dehumanising trap again, I felt so bad, I even got depressed for a short while afterwards because I didn't want him to feel like I didn't care about him, I did care but it just never worked out but it did feel like I was window shoppong instead of dealing with a human being, my mind was like "Just unmatch, you have plenty more matches" WTF how did I fall into that trap of treating human beings like buying something from uber eats, it is awful but sadly there are people out there who don't see it as an issue, they think it is perfectly fine and normal.
We need more of these topics!
I was in highschool when call phones were still brand new. It was so much easier to meet And talk to girls back then.
Now it's seen as creepy if you try to start a conversation with someone. People don't know how to talk and meet dates anymore.
Read/listen to Mark Manson's stuff (if you don't know who he is, he's NOT a pickup artist or anything like that).
It really isn't; I can walk up to a girl and literally just say "hey" with a sly smile/smirk, engage in some flirting, and I get her number. And once in college, a girl just walked up to me with a piece of paper in her hand, and she was pretty nervous, smiled, and ran off, and it had her number in it. Literally no effort to get a girl
I think the issue is "if you don't have good looks, life is on hard mode." Or just hit the gym, stop being a p*ssy, and you'll realize girls compete to get you, not the other way around.
I don't associate with girls that use Tinder, as you know they just want to ride the cock carousel.
Just practice, go up and talk to a woman not expecting anything.
@@Jetstoanywhere People don't like to be approached in public anymore. It's sad but people aren't even comfortable when you make eye contact anymore. Social media has destroyed our ability to socialize with strangers in a real setting.
@@DJ-sn2wn well I mean it depends
I hate modern dating. I was married 20 years (separated). Meeting people is hard IRL and the people I dated online were just ugh. I have nothing in common with people my age. I am very happy and feel a lot of peace on my own so I guess it is just as well this is how it worked out ☺️.
Most people on the app knows their trash 😂 that’s why it never works.
the people i know who do use these apps have crazy stories and their love lives seem like such a disaster. i meet people online but it’ll be randomly through twitter or instagram. i won’t be trying to date it just happens every once in a while.
Yeah. The few I know of who have used these things in recent years have gotten nowhere with them. Maybe some fling for a weekend or two here and there but that's about all. I don't personally know of anyone who met someone online who is in an LTR/marriage. Dating apps are a waste of time, especially for men. Leave this false illusion crap alone.
That opening example is definitely not what most guys do. If a girl I'm interested in agrees to go out with me, then actually shows up, I usually wake up shortly after and realize it was a dream. Because in the modern world, approaching a girl you're interested in, asking her out and having her say yes and actually show up is the thing of dreams.
Same goes for online dating. If I get a 1% match rate I get depressed because I know I'll be waking up soon from another wonderfully impossible dream.
its sad because we say "how can i treat myself like this" but then we realize that we don't really have any alternative. I mean yeah we can say that we can go join a club or something, but in reality that probably won't pan out so well. pretty sad that we created this reality.
The game itself is dangerous. Do not play it if you want happiness. It will only lead to suffering.
Great vid. Very well done analysis. Dating apps are so flawed.
Got a bumble ad while watching this video 💀
I’ve never ever even tried using a dating app. I’m old school. Meet that person in real life is way more exciting.
Besides I’ve the women that I know around my area profile pic on social media and they don’t look anything like they do in real life compared to their profile pics. They photo shop the sh*t out of the pics. I can only imagine that women probably do the same thing on dating apps to fake men out
Yeah, they do that frequently.
I think it depends on the empathy person. The same dynamics can be made in a club if the person uses people, or in the job etc. The opposite can happen, people who has difficulties in meeting people in real life can be an useful tool to make friendships, find a relationships or meeting people with the same sexual fantasies. Also, I see that the more chances of rejecting people is worst, and I don't see it that way. Rejection is a part of life that we will face in all parts of our lives, so I think it's important to normalize it, and with these apps is safer.
yeah that's right, the more you want from the world the less you'll get, that's so sad but its true :)
Hey Monica! where are you from? It may not be the place, but I would like to have a conversation !
It's weird having been in a relationship lasting on 12 years now. I've never tried Tinder since I've been in a relationship for the entirety of dating apps existence.
I like your name and pfp
@@krockettz3231 Thanks :)
Damn what a sad time to live in 😔😔😔
Yes . . 😢
"With his less busy hand he was swiping left and right" 🤣🤣
The amount of men being overly sexual scumbags despite indicating you DON'T want that is highly frustrating and disgusting
I've always found romance to be imposing and overly demanding. Theres no price too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself. Learn to be happy, healthy, and strong on your own.
That's just something people who can't get laid say.
I have always focused on myself, and that is when girls starting flocking to me; it doesn't even matter if I'm talking to two girls at once; they are so infatuated it doesn't matter.
If you are a top tier male, romance is not imposing or overly demanding; it is literally a girl falling for you and attaching herself to you. That is the natural way, not this 'everyone is equal' modern day bullshit.
I won't change a single thing for a woman, but she'll morph her entire existence around me and become an extension of myself. That is what true romance looks like, and I would never be with a girl that wanted me to change a single thing about myself; she has the choice;' either become an extension of me or get lost. Turns out, this is how most top value women like to be in actual relationships.
I've never had an issue finding the cutest girl and having her become my extension; and since I love myself, as you've said, then I love her as well
Sounds like corporate brainwash to be honest.
@@pyropulseIXXI You sound like quite a catch.
@@pyropulseIXXI anyone who refers to themselves as a "top tier male" is likely anything but ... And I can see most of your comment was copy pasta from red pill sites. Sad really
I noticed that this also happens when you are on an speeddating events. Youll get alot of choices and you just wait till you get to the right person. Also the time youll get with that person is limited so their is not alot of time to know somebody.
The fact this man can go to a dinner, see someone, and go "ooh, what a great video idea!"
Goddam this was an amazingly informative and well produced piece
Aperture tha PHILOSOPHY GOAT 🗣💯
Every video he makes is worth a like and share. Interesting thoughts to ponder by time and time again.
This 100% the "swipe left or right dating economy" is not a ideal way to meet a partner anymore. I've devoted way too much of my time and resources to it. Volunteering, church groups (you dont have to be religious, just open minded), sports leagues, run/walks are the best way nowadays to meet people.
Kind of feeling the same.. Although, one of the only places apart from Tinder where I regularly see women that I’m interested in is at the gym, but it just feels weird and a bit wrong to approach women at the gym since I started going to the gym to workout, not find love, and I still do and I feel like other people are doing the same, so it just doesn’t feel appropriate to start approaching girls there…
@ne0tic there is no law saying you can't do both at the gym. Just don't do anything that will have you up end up on tik tok
@@Jetstoanywhere Right. Might just give it a few shots those times when I feel it a bit extra.
this is the perfect description! thank you
I've been thinking lately about social media and dating apps in general. And I have come up with a conclusion. And to that is the main reason people end up with frustration/fatigue/exhaustion and low self esteem is because they use those platforms in a wrong way. They spend way too much time on them, not exploring options irl. Sure, the apps are addictive, very addictive I would even say BUT it's up to us to learn how to control them.
Also people don't like to play a long term game, they want to find a match instantly. We can talk about hook up culture too but don't want to go into this rabbit hole now. I think solid relationships should start as friendships. That's because when we go on a so called date we often put on a mask, we try to perform for other person to like us. But that's not authentic. Whereas if we're after friendship first, we're much more likely to be ourselves, it's less stressful, we get to know each other well first and see whether this friendship can organically turn into something romantic later on.
This video is really good, very I informative and helpful. That's because it teaches you about dopamine and how easily we can end up in this destructive cycle.
Opportunities irl are great because when you approach someone you already done the first interaction. You've already done bit of "dating" so to speak. Whereas online you don't see the person/their body language etc. Often profiles do not represent the actual person accurately. Irl is more difficult, for sure. But in my view it's more rewarding too.
Nothing wrong with dating apps in mu view as long as you don't spend too much time on them. Perhaps use them as additional way to find a potential partner, not as a main one so to speak.
Well, basically your words are true. PPl to want to be playful at all. Me too? The reason is they dont give a fuck anymore including me, just want to have fun. Relationships are totally overrated.
Well said. I do agree with every word.
I refuse to meet a woman online . In today's world , a man is only as good as the rules he sets for himself in the game of life . Online dating is giving up .
Mmm I think you have a point because it makes me angry when I was on those apps everybody want to play mind
Games and wait too long to respond I don’t have time for the dating games
@nickeystuff1205 the mind games are the worst and are the main reason I refuse to go online for love . Everybody has a horrible ex sob story and I'm like " can't you people just say something happy ?!? "
(0:25) This is not calleous and cruel this is SELFISH and IMMORAL. You are NOT out of touch Op, you are one of the few real remaining human beings.
I don't go on dating apps, because my heart breaks... for what we've done to the human race.
And what have we done to the human race? Do tell.
@@GeneralRamm910 come out from under your rock first
@@omp365 No, I'm right there with you, I'm just wondering if our answers differ.
I'm watching this at work ✊🏾
that’s why i have video games, you don’t need anyone to enjoy life.
Hands down the best video ive seen on summarising why datings apps are bad for us and overall society. I rejoined them this year adter a while off them.. but will definitely come off them again for good. The real world is where its at.
They dont call it dating market for nothing.
it truly feels hopeless and we're living in a black mirror episode
Once again a very good video ma dudeee
I wish more people could see the world around us a bit more differently.
I love your videos so much. Wish there were more like you.
I met my soul mate of 25 years in an AOL chatroom. Fakers and posers were easier to identify back in those 'simpler' times.
This isn't exactly the first time people are treated as a commodity
39 years old now... Women I have managed to meet from online dating have typically been far less attractive than their real life counterparts. The type of women who became my girlfriends would have been swamped with interest online, yet one gorgeous blond ex girlfriend of mine said 'nobody has paid her any interest ' after months of being in the UK on a gap year. The best strategy is to put yourself where the beautiful women are in real life. Everything else is just false economy.
and when I can meet single men in their 40ties?
Like anything, I feel if you're level headed and know what you want, dating apps can work but you have to weed out a lot more people than meeting people organically because you have access to many people and those people don't have similar values, intentions etc unlike meeting someone through a friend for example.
Online behavior for anything from jobs to dates to buying stuff has bred however a lack of accountability (which is why ghosting is "normal" now) and a lot of people are terrible at communicating overall which combined with lack of accountability means a lot of bad behaviors online
I remember going into the different aol chat rooms in the 90’s. There were tons of different rooms to choose from. Anything from teen dating, to adult hobbies. Seemed like harmless fun. We didn’t know just how dangerous it could be. I’m pretty sure i had a very inappropriate conversation with a pedophile as a kid. They were pretending to be a teen girl. Knowing what I do now, no teen girl would have said what they had said to me.
just deleted all the dating apps on my phone and this video popped up 😂
The problems with the dating apps is they are shallow. You swipe on a picture, most times little to no bio, and match up with a girl you know nothing about. So you start talking to her and realize there's no chemistry, so you stop, then she gets jaded. Then the next guy she talks to she puts in no effort, then the guy get's jaded. Then it devolves into who can put in the least effort, and dating feels like work. Mix in men using women for sex, women using the app for validation, and you've now got both genders fairly jaded.
I really think the solution to this would be to put the bio front and centre, don't let people lead with their looks. This will stop women from using the app for validation, and men looking for hookups. It would force people to pick someone based on common values and beliefs. Of course you should be able to filter based on obesity, height, so people aren't wasting their time. But the dating apps are really just an arms race for who can use more filters to trick the other person into a date at this point.
🔥 Great wisdom 🔥
Shout to the chad at the beginning
I mean the left right swipe is basically what you do anyway when selecting a mate. The reality is though these apps aren't about making relationships and I think those seeking that from them are generally disappointed
Reminds me of the episode of black mirror “hang the DJ”
A dating app which is similar to this episode is Juliet🥺
Love this channel, narration, content, variety - top notch - thank you for saving us from the great tiktok brain robbery, lol.
I’ve got ASD and it’s made my chronic depression get worse seeing we’re all more or less in the same spot, especially if your less attractive which is totally fine in my book
But yeah, lasting romance is pretty hard as always
I've actually never had a bad date, and I've had alot of success on dating apps.
Exactly, Well said