People always say not having arguments is a red flag, but if you communicate so effectively even during difficult conversations that nobody ever raises their voice or feels attacked, and everyone's always listening and empathising and trying to reach common ground, why is it not escalating to an argument a problem? I've been with my partner for nearly three years at this point, and I wouldn't say we've *ever* properly argued.
I’ve been with my partner 7 years and we’ve also never had what I’d consider an argument. We’ve had a couple moments of one of being overly stressed and being a bit harsh but we talk about it calmly after and don’t yell back and forth.
I think it's because often the reason people don't have arguments is because they just don't say how they feel to keep the peace, and then one day when they finally have an argument about something small, everything that's annoying them comes out and it blows up into a huge fight. But obviously the healthier option is what you are doing.
Exactly this! My partner and I disagree but when we do we both try to see it from the other persons side and sit down and listen to each other’s reasons for our views. Sometimes we find common ground, sometimes we agree to disagree but it never ever results in nastiness, fights or insults. But that’s because we’ve both done a toooooon of work on ourselves.
I suppose that depends on your definition of an argument. It is healthy to have disagreement, and to have discussions about those disagreements, as long as you are on point, and working towards a solution. But if you get to the yelling and insulting stage, you are not heading anywhere constructive or healthy. I have seen people using the word argument to mean both, so I am honestly a bit confused.
Try being eternally single then... seriously it's cringe when people moan about their past relationships. Look, you had some good times OBVIOUSLY, and clearly if you're a mature and adult enough human being then you'll be able to take something from those failed relationships and know what to avoid in the future and learn more about yourself too. There is nothing to be learned by being single other than becoming so used to your own company that you genuinely start to think if there's something wrong with you for why the opposite sex barely ever show any interest in you. And as Shakespeare once said "Tis better to have loved and lost than to have never have loved at all", so stop being an ungrateful moron, and consider those of us that have never had a relationship not for lack of trying, thanks!
@@JohnSmith-sj2dk Congratulations :) I hope you have an amazing life and marriage! It wouldn't be for me. John also said: "to each their own, what do I know, I don't live in the time of internet and Tinder."
Met my current fiance in 2016 on Ok Cupid. She was the first person I spoke to and that was 20 minutes after I made the account. Had our first date about 2-3 weeks later and we have been together ever since.
lmao dude I have heard this scenario happen to so many different people who ended up finding a super amazing long-term partner out of it! Still, it blows my mind - you have to imagine that you both got super lucky find each other without having to experience the cornucopia of weirdness out there.
I think it’s interesting that people really dislike the ‘hey :)’ type openings. I don’t mind them, because if you match with someone conversationwise a interesting conversation will follow. I think it’s more relaxed than the forced opening lines
I think it is important to remember people you match with are likely also a bit shy. Some like asking about a favorite passtime gives them something to respond to after all.
@@moonlightequilibrium in my experience, the conversation just flows after the ‘hey’(or doesn’t but then you also know enough). It’s more of an ice breaker to then start talking about something else
Personally I don't like either! I'd much rather someone just actually started a conversation like "Hey, nice to meet you, so what music do you listen to?" or like "I saw you like this hobby, how did you get into that?" or that kind of thing. Just anything that shows a bit of interest and so you have something to start talking about.
I tried these apps years ago and man, the toll it can take on your psyche. Being rejected 99% of the time and the sheer volume and how it "gameifies" your emotions like a mobile game with transactions. After a year or two I just burned out and quit dating at all for a while. Meeting my girlfriend and being happy now I am so glad to be in a relationship and also relieved to be away from those apps. If you're on there and struggling, that is really normal. Best of luck to everyone.
These kind of stories always feel a bit unsatisfactory if you don't mention how and where you met your girlfriend. It sounds like you simple run into her in the pharmacy or something and just like that the deal was sealed.
I never tried them. I got blown out hundreds of times year ago doing real life pick up, and my odds where the same as yours. Hundreds of hours of near waste time, money and energy.
i’m an early 20s woman so i never had any trouble but yeesh these statistics are bleak to look at. i remember using bumble bff to make some female friends around town and i finally understood what guys meant when dating apps were miserable. people ghosting, convos that go nowhere, or people just using the app to pass time but never meeting up
same on the wlw sides of these apps! to be fair though im terrible at getting to know people online, so i never know how to keep a conversation going without already having common experiences ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Same. I did the same thing and it was so overwhelming. Although I did meet one group of friends and we meet up sometimes, but it's not often and 50% of the group has dropped out
I met my husband (he's from the UK, I'm from the US) on Tinder a few years ago! He was on holiday in my city and we really hit it off. Long story short, we got married this year and I'm moving to the UK this summer. :)
Damn, so nice to hear about these rare stories where things just work. Congratulations on your wedding :) I'm guessing all of Evan's videos about being an American living abroad and taxes and all that will become very relevant now lol
@@nahuelma97 they happen sometimes! and yes - one of the biggest things that brought me to Evan’s channel! at least i’m already aware of the tax nightmares to come 🥲
@@jonaschick912 oof exactly. Pull a Tina Turner and renounce your citizenship lmao I'm pretty sure it doesn't come with the millions and a mansion in Switzerland but at least you won't have to pay taxes to a country you don't even live in anymore lol
I saw on your Instagram that this video didn't do as well but I just wanted to say I really really enjoyed this video, the statistics, the infographics, the insights into dating apps and your puns and quips as always. Keep making what YOU want to make, and the right people will watch :)
I definitely dodged a bullet with dating apps. Used tinder for one week and met my partner of 8 years and we’re getting married this year. So glad I don’t have to spend all of my time on these apps, it seems soul destroying!
Some people got all the luck. Makes you think: maybe it's a law of nature of some sorts. "The overall amount of luck remains constant" or whatever. But anyway: best wishes for the two of you!
This is extremely common - especially on dating websites where you PAY to use their service. If you're a decent, honest person without ridiculous standards then you're likely to find a relationship fairly quick.
@@interdimensionalsteve8172 Fucking bullshit. I've been on multiple apps for more than a year, I've paid for various of them, I'm slightly under the average male height (178cm), attractive face, receding hairline, late 30s. I've only matched with scammers, prostitutes, hideous older post-wall women, hideous obese women, expired single moms that have tied the tubes & are "looking for love"(i.e. a betabuxxer) etc etc. The attractive ones that you do match with, they'll message 1-2x before they ghost you, or they'll take forever to respond like weeks & her response will be extremely low effort & low value, or you say one wrong thing & she'll block you, or they'll unmatch you before you correspond. Only women & 6' 7 chads get the kinds of results OP is talking about. Needless to say I've stopped using these fucking apps.
Maybe it's me but Hinge has started to go the same way as all the others. They generally seem to suggest less popular profiles and keep the more popular ones for their "standouts" page where you pay for roses to send them. All these apps are just designed to make money. Anything else is coincidental.
Honestly that seems kinds better , the hottest girls only go for the top 10% of men so unless your there you prob wont match , on tinder i would only see super hot girls and think dam where are the regular girls
Actually, I'm only some of the way in so idk if you address this later, but I'd be interested in hearing how online dating is when you have a significant online presence. Presumably it gets weird if people you match with already have one-way parasocial relationships with your content?
Not what you asked but I remember Tomska saying when he met his girlfriend Charlie he wanted to wait a while before telling her about youtube. And then on their first date someone recognised him.
@@kurrwa if they dont know your content, then that isnt a bad thing & could just be a 'oh cool!' type thing. But if they take it to extremes or are obsessive for only that reason, then yeah that could deffo be the kiss of death of many relationships.
Strong Jesus vibes at the moment, Evan. I gave up on Tinder and Bumble recently, and instead made a conscious effort to hang out with people I didn't know so well, who introduced me to other people. Got invited to a lot of parties (the fact that it was Christmas helped) and within a month I had three girls I was interested in who also liked me. One of them is now my girlfriend. So much better to meet people in real life in a low pressure environment and knowing that you get on, rather than the first time you meet someone being a proper date. I've always got more out of just saying yes to social things. Those people who seem to effortlessly get into relationships are usually the same people who have lots of friends and make an effort to hang out with them a lot. They also don't only chat to strangers if they fancy them, they chat to everyone.
And the best part about that: If you meet with all the people you met through other people and continue to meet with everyone you met through them, you only have to proceed for 6 iterations in total in order to meet every single human on Earth!
Your advice is good for normal people. For those on the less desired spectrum it's not enough. I haven't met a woman who liked me until now. Yes, I went to university, yes I have quite a lot of friends and hobbies and NO that does not mean you will have a real chance. (I'm in my low 40s now). ALL my dates so far were through dating apps
This was very interesting, I definintly get the most interaction on hinge. Something that is definitely worth mentioning is hinge has a much bigger focus on actual relationships over hookups and casual sex so I'm sure that culture probably helps with proper connections. I used to have all the apps in a group on my phone called "self-esteem killers"
I've seen girls swiping before and I would say 90% of the time the guys fail to get a right swipe because their pfp is bad. Bad lighting... mirror selfie... shirtless... all of those things are automatic no unless you are already top 1% good looking, and even then you may come off as cocky and then be unattractive to some.
Well I am a photographer so I know lighting and have killer lenses, but more than ONE of those style photos and it’s too try hardy 😅 Mine was a balance of nice photos showing myself, myself with friends, and hobbies / travels ensuring I’m very visible in photo. Worked eventually haha
I had a topless pic on my tinder, but it was the pic I have on this profile. Not showing too much. Anyway, I never had problems with matches or anything on Tinder. I'm a narcissist though, and I live in Norway, so I ran into way too many "wahmen power, respect wahmen" feminist types, and I find those ridiculous. Went away for a weekend with someone I met on Tinder, and I didn't know she was like that before we went on that trip. It was a huge mistake. First night she started talking about her being able to do anything a man could do. I said "Can you carry 120lbs on your back?", which she said "If she wanted to" and so on. She was a turnoff for me, as it was obvious she was affected by too much internet bullshit. Women in Norway are scared of being women. They wanna try to be men. But usually I dont have a problem bringing out the woman in them. Anyway, if you wanna attract women, you have to be confident. Not cocky, but confident. If you're cocky, hold that back until you know them, and then use your cockiness/narcissism jokingly. I've been living with a girl for 16 months now, and everything's great. I'm being misogynistic as fuck, and she used to say she was a feminist, but now she hates several aspects of modern feminism, and she loves my misogyny. I'm so open and honest though, most adult people seem to enjoy the way I talk. Younger adults don't. They seem to take life way too seriously.
This is really helpful video. I have been on all 3 apps for god knows how long (I also thought the same about hinge when I first started using it!). It really feels like tinder is just a cesspit and a huge waste of time, nobody is on there for anything serious now and bumble is heading in the same direction. Hinge feels like its now the only app where people are looking for the same thing and willing to actually chat and date. Its also nice to know that the feeling of loneliness which is magnified when you get rejections on these apps is not felt by just me. This video has made me want to look into my stats. Thanks so much Evan, a really useful video for me.
This was very interesting. As someone who has never used a dating app, I'm surprised at how many different people in three different apps are shown to one person
I asked out 8 women on tinder this year, dated 6, had sex with 5 kissed the 6th one and im about to have my third date with her while having zero status (28yo, started new studies this year and minimum wage job)
the most attractive people on the app DONT need to pay . they’re praying on the lower tier people in attractiveness . here’s the catch , if a girl doesn’t find you attractive , being at the top of her stack ain’t going to change nothing
@@evan oh, interesting, so you're shown the chats and are asked and then that's it labels them? Or how? If only I hadn't quit Tinder around a year ago, I would go into the website to request my data lol I'm pretty sure I'll fall into the trap if I open the website again
When you delete your account on the app, you get asked the why are you leaving question. So maybe that stat is not so accurate overall for their users because I don’t 100% of their user are deleting their accounts but maybe higher than I think. Same goes for individual level, you could sign out but still have the account it may get deactivated(which just takes it out of the pool)…so again that stat is up to the individual if they are honest with their account. I hoped that made sense
I see many people hating on dating apps and I understand why. I feel very mixed about them, using these dating apps I'm slowly overcoming my fear of talking to people... in the few months I've been here I haven't landed a date yet but I feel much more confident at least.
I believe it really depends on your mentality. I had the same purpose to improve my conversation skills with no expectations and it worked pretty well for me. After few months i got so good that many girls complimented my conversations skills. But once i've decided to actually find a girlfriend on tinder it became a pretty soul crusching experience.
The part I hate about dating apps is you’re successful a lot more if you’re blunt and show little care or interest in the person. Fast and direct. It’s shallow connections.
I remember meeting the girl of my dreams, she was literally perfect. Then I broke up with her because I had horrible self-esteem issues and just mentally I wasn't invested. After a couple years of being alone, stopped drinking, vaping, and just trying to be the best I can be. I reached back out to her and she's in a relationship. Now the thought of going on these apps, freaks me out. But I work from home and don't really like talking to girls at the gym since it's my place of peace. Hopefully we have a good run. Cheers on the video bro.
Just a note on the price model. I think they actually plan the cost to be high enough that they can 1) make a profit with lower volume and 2) actually reduce/filter the amount of people that use it or buy it. Tinder Gold/Platinum wouldn't provide any value or work for the customer if everyone was bumped to the top of the stack.
Regarding the pricing; it actually changes depending on who and where you are. Tinder has a financial incentive to keep some kinds of people on the platform and others not. So they increase the price to kick people off, and lower the price to keep others on. Men are charged more, women are charged less. Ugly people are charged more, pretty people are charged less. Rich people are charged less, poor people are charged more. Each of those values compound each other, but in isolation they demonstrate the point. The incentive is to create the most desireable dating app that keeps you single and paying for as long as possible.
I would say its just what marketing is profiteering off of desperation. That's why its important to have some self respect and not keep shilling out money on these apps which wont guarantee success no matter what price you pay.
You're pretty much spot on. One thing to note is that all of these paid features are pretty placebo, if you look like a model you'll have plentiful swipes even without paying because you're a commodity that the app values since it draws more women in to stay engaged in the app.
this was really interesting. I'd never use online dating again, I tried it for a while but it was the most soul destroying experience for me. It really just made me feel so "different," now I'm happy single anyway and if I meet someone at some point great, if not, also great. A lot of people think I must be lying when I say that but it's true!
This definitely makes a lot of sense. In my experience, I also felt miserable whenever I used dating apps because I inadvertently linked my self-esteem to how many matches and likes I was getting, which is what these apps slowly do to your brain even if you enter them with the mindset of not letting yourself be affected by them.
that's what I was wondering during this. i wish tinder gave separate data for how often women swipe right on men vs on women, and how often men do the same, etc. but that might make it a little complex.
Yeah, from what aps I've used over the years, I've had quite a few chats and conversations with guys. None really went anywhere, but a lot of the time a bit of convo will take place.
As a bi woman I'll have to admit I swipe right on a far higher percentage of women than men. I think men often put little to no effort into their profiles and if all I have are pictures? I'll likely swipe left unless you're a REALLY attractive person.
@@Koozomec It isn't if you're not extremely attractive.. which is also very subjective. If you, as a guy, put something engaging in your bio and put up pics that show your hobbies/interests, you are a lot more likely to get swiped right on even if you are not an Adonis. And idk about you but efficiency doesn't trump effectiveness. So while, duh, it's faster to just upload a bunch of pics what's the point if your success rate with that is zero? I swiped right on girls because their bios peaked my interests and their pictures were interesting. Not because I thought they're hot. Many guys don't even have bios. Why would I swipe right on then when they don't even want to put the effort of writing up a bio into a potential relationship?
My mum met my dad by using Teletext Dating in the mid-late 90s. I think You’d see a basic profile and if you liked what you saw you’d call the number on screen to hear their voice. Interesting format.
Having to pay to move yourself up on a list tells me the app misses the point of what it's supposed to be doing. The people at the top should be better matches, not those willing to pay more
I haven't tried online dating in like 2 years, but I found all of it quite depressing. Went on one date with someone who lives an hour drive from me and that was it. Living in a big city like London would certainly be a lot better for it than the small town I live in.
My stats after a over two years: Bumble: The least matches, no conversations, no dates. Hinge: The most matches, two conversations, 1 date (got ghosted later). Tinder: Middle matches, one conversation, 1 time getting stood up.
Speaking as an atheist I thank God every day I am old enough and had the dumb luck to find a partner before the advent of online dating. It just sounds soul destroying. Be hot! Be funny! No, not like that, that's cringe! Don't just say hi, that's so boring! Don't give me that line, that's so desperate! Just hearing about it gives me anxiety, I can't fathom what it does to your self worth to live it every day.
"There is someone out there for you, and you are gonna love each other and it's gonna be great." I laughed out loud at that... Not with my character, no.
@@aceman0000099 They changed it recently where when women gets a match it automatically sends one of her prompts and that counts as the first message. Then the guy has to send the next message or the girl can't message back. I use to prefer Bumble over the rest. I figured on Bumble women won't have 100+ guys messaging them since they had to put in that first little bit of effort and message first. Now if I had to guess Bumble is just as competitive trying to get women's attention as all the others.
@@chriscohen9559 yeah personally I used to get 3-4x as many matches on tinder compared to bumble, but a fraction as many messages. And the tinder matches were usually considerably more attractive. I'm banned from tinder now though because I pirated tinder gold 😂
Women complained about having to message first because they realized it was hard to take the initiative and come up with something witty, so they changed it. These are the same women that write in their bio, "say something more interesting than hi."
I think you're so right about Hinge being like the only one that doesn't withhold information of people who like you unless you give them money or coincidentally like them back like months later. The little prompts are interesting and give you something to respond to, it's much harder to have a blank profile with 1 blurry picture like on every other app 🤣. You can't filter without giving them money which is a shame but also in the end all you gotta do is take a minute to read the profile to see for yourself so it's fine.
I met my husband on E-harmony and I liked the app way more than others because you could really filter your matches. This just automatically boosted the quality of my matches. I noted a big difference in the men I was seeing and talking with. The quantity of people you get shown is a lot less which I appreciated because it prevents the mindless commodification of the humans you are seeing. It helped me stay a little more grounded.
It's a total scam though. You can't see your matches without paying, and they will demand you keep paying them money even if you cancel your membership.
I also make a point of creating a personalized message for everyone, often including a pun. Usually they don't reply. On those off chances that a girl does make the first move and they just say "hey" I literally reply back telling them that their message is boring. Im just so over the idea that dating apps will actually bring anything of substance that I mostly use them as a way to humor myself. I definitely am open to meeting people, but it's such a rarity anyway that it's more worthwhile to just send messages that I can screenshot and send to other people for laughs. If it's meant to be, then maybe someday someone I'm messaging will actually read and reply to humorous messages and accept a date.
This was really interesting. As someone who met their now husband in 2011, I missed all of the dating apps so I had no ideas on how these apps worked. I love seeing the stats.
they're an awful experience, i was on them for around 6 years (most of my 20s) until i realized i was destroying myself looking for affection and validation in an app for hookups. And I was doing good (getting lots of matches, long convos, a lot of dates, hookups and even 1 long relationship) but honestly I think meeting people in common with your inner circle is better, more chances of them being closer to your lifestyle/values and interacting in a more honest way that is not only pretending to be a good fit. The moment i decided to stop using them has been a great improvement. My current partner is a mutual from twitter, we had been casually chatting before for years and even though could be classified as online dating the fact we had mutual acquaintances and chat before without the intent of dating is what made it stand out and avoid this feeling of being a product for sell
Oh yes, Bumble, where women think they just have to text you “hey :)”… or sometimes even not text at all until the match is gone, which happens at some point if you do not spend money!
Dating apps are soul destroying!!! My self esteem actually plummeted when I was on them. I always got friend zoned. Weirdly I get asked out a lot when travelling- I might just be more carefree then so I just need to have travelling energy all the time lol
I hate the term friend zoned. Makes it sound like people are horrible for not reciprocating your feelings when they have no obligation to. At least people are friendly about it 🤣 (I'm not having a go at you personally just expressing my general dislike hahaha🤣)
@@JeM130177 lol I know what you mean, however my issue is if you're paying (because as Evan mentioned ,you get better odds of making a match when you pay) to be on an app to meet a potential life partner and the folks you like are like ah thanks I like you too, not enough to go on a date with you but enough to chat with you '. it just gets to the stage of well what's the point. Because I swear there used to be a site where you could sign up strictly just to make friends (don't know if that exists anymore or if it got turned into an app too). But yes, at least they are nice about it because boy have I come across rude ones too geez!
@@khwezik3894 oh yeah for sure it's definitely fair to want someone to be honest and to not lead each other on. I've made friends via dating apps coincidentally but it's been a mutal kind of "we're having fun chatting but not feeling anything more". But yeah I've deffo had convos where one side had been like okay so how we feeling because if this isn't going anywhere maybe we should call it and I think that's fair.
My experience with tinder is on an other planet with yours. I find it really usefull when you want to go out with someone on the weekend. Always worked for me
Found this to be a very insightful video, and can confirm, of the apps out there Hinge has gotten me the most in person dates and matches by a long shot. Tinder is a complete waste of time. I even have on my Bumble profile something along the lines of “be more creative than just saying hi” and it’s actually worked pretty well for me too 😂
I met my fiancé on bumble, I’d been on the app off and on for years but I downloaded during Covid Lockdown at the beginning of the pandemic and she was my first match and ever since our first date we haven’t been apart! Our anniversary is next week.
As someone who never used a dating app before and had an idea tinder is a waste of time, this video helped confirm that, but now bumble keeps showing as ad everywhere i was surprised bumble is essentially not much better, if not as bad as tinder. I will recommend hinge to ppl tho because i'm a fan how they approach it in a genuine way rather than turning it into a gacha game to profit off of lonely souls looking for a genuine partner. I'd will keep it in mind for myself too but i don't rly have a need for dating apps and i kinda hope i wont ever will seeing how much time and effort gets put into it.
The problem I have with Hinge is that the prompts are very **normie** and feel super shallow compared to the paragraphs I can write on okcupid. The matches have also not gotten better for me no matter how consistently I swipe.
@@mykeehed5096 woah slow down old man, dont want to throw out your back writing that comment. Maybe you should eat some prunes & take a nap you prehistoric geezer
"Then there's those one's nobody actually uses, like Badoo or whatever" Lol me and a friend of mine both met our boyfriends on badoo. I agree with you on the part where you can become really self-conscious/insecure based on your experiences on dating apps. I have experienced this less because it seems that in general women have an easier time on such apps since men get to them more than the other way around. However, I do recommend to, if you want to be in a relationship because you are unhappy with yourself, try to become okay with the person you are right now first, before going on a dating app. Understand that a relationship is a complementary thing rather than something to fill a void. If you are happy with the person you are right now (doesn't mean perfect, just being okay with yourself), you're less likely to lower your standards to people you won't connect with long-term.
What about someone who was top of their class and had a shot at going to space someday, but gets a permanent illness and has to stay inside and can't work? I don't think it's possible for everyone to become okay with that. And no matches anyways.
Tinder’s pricing model is based on how “attractive” you are determined to be. The more attractive you are the less tinder premium costs. Older, unattractive men will be charged incredible amounts +$50 and hot young females usually get gold for free.
I’d tried all of these, with varying levels of success, for ten years. Strangely, I was ready to stop trying once Facebook entered the game, but I gave it a go, and got a message from my current boyfriend. It’s been three years we’ve been together, and we have NEVER had an argument, either. I love it here!
I was married for 22 years, from age 19😲 I did some crazy dating after we split, but it got tedious. I'm happy being single and NOT dating😂😂 Maybe someday🤷🏼♀️ but those apps terrify me. It really seems like a meat (not meet) market. Maybe I'm just showing my age. I'm 54, not THAT old😉😂😂😂
Hinge went downhill sometime during the pandemic, they seem to put the ones you may be interested in behind a paywall now(Roses). I also had terrible numbers on it of the two or so months using it before it stopped matching me with anyone of interest. 10% I messaged responded, 10% who responded went further than one message, 10% of those agreed and went on a date, one short relationship, and 0 women ever messaged me. I tried to make interesting messages asking questions, took advice on photos and prompts. I assume my area just sucks for online dating compared to other areas but it’s also hard to self examine to really see what I could do to be more approachable
pretty much this. the algorithm works, but it only works on the starred/rose section. normal swiping is a joke. I've been using it for almost a month, and 90% of my matches have been from roses. i.e. paid ones lmao.
I think I've had three or four matches in a few months on hinge, one of my housemates has had a similar experience, but two seem to be having a great time with one finding their current girlfriend on there. It seems like it works well for some and not for others.
After a recent dabble on tinder I started to think I was too undesirable to date anyone. Recently ran into a really sweet girl I half knew from years ago & asked if she fancied a catchup. Been on a few amazing dates now but due to my time on tinder Im still having a tough time accepting that someone like her could be interested in me. Even after beautifully waking up together after a perfect night & making plans for the next date, I still wonder how and why. Just going to try not to overthink & keep enjoying while it lasts. Nervously really excited for next time.
If we're being honest, I agree with being salty over the "hey" women will give on Bumble. Like you see so so so many profiles on Tinder with no bio or "message me first", which is an instant left swipe, and then when they are the ones expected to message first they just barely do. Am I crazy for thinking this? Like surely you should put in the effort you expect out of it, and whoever swipes last (swiping and seeing it is a match) should usually message first regardless
Bumble is the only dating app I've ever used, specifically because I thoroughly detest traditional gender roles and the expectation that I must always take the lead. I thought, surely this app, with its feminist subversion of social convention, will appeal to the strong-willed, independent, and self-assured women I like. Receiving an opening message that is only "hey :)" comes across as a woman trying to cheat the system and force the first move back onto me, which is incredibly frustrating considering they could be using literally any other dating app if they want to act all submissive, helpless, and pathetic.
I tried Bumble for a bit too, just getting GIF openers was possibly even worse, because they'd literally tap to go rather than make the effort to type hey. I put some effort into my profile to give an idea of who I am and conversation starters, not a blank one with pics of the same face pose from the same angle with heavy filters. So it's not exactly like there's a hard time coming up with something.
Women who put in the bare minimum will have natural abundance mentality, its why they expect to be wowed within the first couple messages and dont give a fuck about the first bumble message they spew. In my experience, half the time you have to open just as wittily on bumble as you would tinder, although they have tried to address this.
@@colehartel7206 You are right. Bumble really is all about getting a one-word sentence as a message, then putting all the work by yourself like you usually would. Women making the "first move" on Bumble is just a hoax.
Speaking as a living fossil (who very luckily found the right person 20+ years ago*), I am so very glad that I'm no longer in the dating game - it all just seems so very complicated nowadays**. So congratulations to those who have got there, and the best of luck to those that are still looking, and a general 'hiya, hope things are going well' to those that have no interest in any of this crap. * to be precise, 22 years, 10 months, and 7 days (bloody hell, I've just realised that we're getting within spitting distance of half my entire life, how fucking cool is that?) ** this sentence illustrates how much of an old fart I am.
Same. I feel so bad for these young'uns. It just feels like the nurturing and accepting atmosphere of high school has been extended and expanded to include everyone 24 hours a day, and if that's not a damned nightmare I don't know wat is.
I totally agree! Fortunately I met my old man in August 1986 and married him in September 1988. Still together, 4 kids and 5 grandkids later 😊 (That's 10 years over half our lives together!) We mainly put our longevity down to nobody else being dumb enough to take us on, that and the fact that it would cause way too much hassle 😂
Yep, I am so incredibly glad I was lucky enough to meet my future husband at university when I was just shy of 18 and he had just turned 19, and I never had to use any kind of dating app. We're now 31/32 and just celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary 😊
Finally a man who actually has some semblance of understanding of how dating app algorithms work. All these idiots swipe right 50-100% of the time expecting results. You're successful on dating apps BECAUSE you're selective (honestly still not selective enough, the expected optimal ratio I've seen is close to 3% right swipe)
Was on both Tinder and Bumble for roughly 8 months, threw money at it and did everything I was supposed to do for it to work. Not a single damn match in that whole time, all that money, all that effort and perseverance, for nothing. Absolutely and utterly crushed my soul and self esteem. Yet my brother downloads Bumble and he's already talking to 3 people within half and hour. What a bloody gyp.
My man here is using a TOTALLY different Hinge than I am I think. I just tested it out man, I swiped through around 30 profiles (lost count around 19 then again at 25-ish) and I SWEAR, the pictures got uglier and larger with every swipe. By the time I got done, every profile was a woman who had to wear at least 400lbs. I'm not picky, I don't pursue strictly skinny or fit girls, I enjoy a bit thickness, but DAMN. But it wasn't just the appearance that got worse, it was the compatibility, each one went farther away from things I am looking for in religious and political views as well, not to mention interests in common. The way Hinge works now days is, they show you all the least attractive profiles, and everyday shuffle in about ten good looking profiles into the "Rose" section. You get one free rose per week, any others you want to send you have to pay for. So essentially, Hinge is almost no better than Tinder at this point cause you have to pay money if you want to like and communicate with people who aren't the absolute bottom of the barrel. Gosh I hate how awful all that sounds. Like I feel like a massive douche just pointing this out, Hinge is honestly kind of disgusting for implementing this system to be honest.
It's really interesting that he said the first time using hinge that people were not attractive. I had the opposite experience where everyone was REALLY attractive!
how do you reckon the Hinge algorithm works? Does it ask for lots of profile info, and suggest people who align with your interests and values? OR do you think it's based on other users' data? Like "people who liked this person also liked these people" ??? Because I absolutely LOVE the idea that the most successful dating app of the era is essentially just the "Customers also bought" section of amazon.
Hinge has a specific section of like "here's like 7 people we really think you'll like you can use your 'special' like that you get 1 a week of on any of these" and tbf they don't change up much but I think they do a decent job 🤣 the recommended shopping cart as it were hahahah
@votejj That would be extremely smart for a dating app! So smart that it can't be completely true, because that way the app would indeed be working towards making itself obsolete.
Great video! I clicked on this video just because I thought it'd be interesting to see if my assumptions about these apps lined up with the facts you presented (yes, they lined up pretty well), but I stayed for the funny commentary and your interesting insight from using these apps for a much longer time than I did (my mental health just couldn't keep up with them).
The best part of hinge is there are very limited swipes per day, which stops me from killing myself over crafting messages, that and all the apps adding verification
Really interesting video! I love data. For myself, I'm not sure how many people I swiped on in the two months I had the app but I think I talked to maybe 15 people on tinder and went on one date, which then resulted in my current relationship.
That sounds similar to my experience, at least once I got my social anxiety under control and was actually able to ask people out lol. I think your mindset going into dating is a huge factor for how successful you will be.
As a single 29m that just moved to London. I've had the best success with bumble. I get matches on both Hinge and Bumble but the conversations seem to get somewhere on bumble. I've been here just over a month and I'm already done with apps. So much effort to just be ghosted. I now just chat to as many as possible. Definitely a numbers game 😉
So interesting Evan. I also spent a lot of time over many years on dating apps. People I met from tinder, garbage. People I met on Hinge, pretty cool! I’m also now in a relationship with someone I met on hinge (with bias as he actually already knew a friend of mine so I got spy time) and it’s going great! I might do this data thing myself. Also, good perspective to add: it’s scary to be a woman in online dating. You basically meet up with a man and hope he doesn’t do something awful to you. Like lots of little blind dates. I had to be very, very careful when I went out with someone and where. edit: I do not care about the “not all men” comments. Shut up and leave me alone.
dating apps have never been appealing for me, but casual dating as a whole I imagine to be super uncomfortable for women. Like, I have massive trust issues, but I can't be the only person to think it's super weird that people just go to a stranger's place? Or invite that stranger into their home? Unfathomable. But hey, my best friend is on tinder and she's pretty successful - meanwhile, I refuse to use dating apps at all because I hate the very principles they are built on (superficiality, injecting "market logic" into personal relationships, FOMO). And I imagine any match (however unlikely that it would even get that far) would disappear as soon as I informed them of my asexuality..
People are people. Most men aren't serial killers or rapists. You probably are no more likely to be hurt by someone you meet online vs someone you meet in person. In each scenario you meet them and don't really know who they are unless until you give them a chance. Any person who will only go out with someone that already have previously vetted no only limits their options but the options of people they won't consider. Just because you know of someone, doesn't mean they are good or ideal for you. As well most people don't have access to people they want to date. The reality is your dating out of fear not potential compatibility.
When I was using Tinder I only went on two dates (it was the same person)...partly because 90% of the guys I spoke to on there were only interested in a hook-up and that isn't my scene. To add to your comment about being a woman on online dating, I don't think men realise how *unappealing* meeting with random internet guys for sex really is for a woman. You would have to have a deathwish lol. It was wild, the amount of guys who would say something along the lines of "You should come over to my place" as if they thought I would even consider the idea lmao. Very easy way to get robbed/assaulted/killed/etc.
I met my fiancé on Tinder, but it wasn't before two years of swiping on Tinder to no avail. I'll say, the means of meeting your person is less important than the people around you, and whether you're ready for something serious. I swiped on my fiancé not because he was my typical "type," but because his bio was funny, and frankly I was ready for someone who could make me laugh.
My experience was nearly identical! I'd say the only real difference is that I swiped on him because he was clearly at the renaissance faire in his profile pic, and I figured if there was no chemistry we'd at least have a common interest to talk about.
Wow you both admit that you SETTLED for your current guys. That's a horrible position to put them in because you'll always feel that you could do better. You'll treat them accordingly too. I wish you gals could self reflect every once in awhile. 🤦🏽♂️
@@wayofthekodiak3118 Uh...what? I didn't settle for my husband, he wasn't the type I usually went for, but I instantly fell in love when I met him. I'm saying that love doesn't always follow a specific type, sometimes it just pops up unexpectedly. I didn't know people like him existed, there is no better.
Yeeeaa, i met my husband online. That was ugly date site but i just tried few sites and decided to give a possibility for all these sites. And he did the same😁
As a woman, I found bumble to usually go no where past a quick conversation, and I think I had about two first dates. Meanwhile not sure if it was just because I lived in more rural areas so people used tinder a little more seriously? But I’ve had a majority of my past partners from tinder, including my partner I’ve been dating for a little under a year! Had some really nice conversations on Hinge tbf so can see why it’d be good for finding like minded people!
@@justmonika2345 I've used Tinder in multiple countries as a woman. Yes, you get matches, but you have to spend a lot of time figuring out who's actually a decent person who's not going to murder you.
Yes! Bumble was awful for me. The men seemed to think I'd put up with less effort from them since I spoke first. I had the worst dates from that app. Meanwhile I met my now fiance on Tinder.
This is a really interesting concept! It made me want to check my data. As a female hinge is a lot more difficult to navigate as men feel more picky. As a female and tinder and badoo are an absolute match shit show. I also think each app has different intents. Hinge feels more targeted towards a relationship and tinder is definitely more of a hook up app.
@@madamebkrt Hello :) essentially hinge feels like it has men that are looking for something serious. Within that category it feels like they really judge you and try to find someone longterm. They will be much more interested in whether you have children, what job you do, your build and height. Men on hinge really seem like they are trying to figure out if you are worth their time.
I’m in my fifties and have been married 25 years. I know nothing of these apps but I saw a notification on my sons phone and he is on one of them. I’m here to just learn about these apps because when I was in high school and college in the dating scene no one used dating apps. I don’t blame anyone for using these but to me it seems better to just go organic and meet people out in the real world. Pray about it and let God set you up with someone. I know that’s old fashion but I guess that’s my age showing.
Tinder is absolutely atrocious. Other apps are normally worse though. From my experience. Most people don't even reply, some never even open messages. Once you do start a convo, majority of people are insanely dry. Once you find someone that isn't dry, majority of those people, from my experience will give me their snap, but then majority of those people will talk and never be willing to meet up. Honestly, it got to the point where I'd just ghost them if after 2 weeks or so, they were still unwilling to ever go on a date or meet up. Additionally, tinder for guys is atrocious. As a guy, if I set my search preference to men, I get 1k matches in a day. If it's on women, it's around 20 a month. It's a terrible experience and is heavily women favored. Sometimes you'll run into the "only here for friends" person on a dating app or the people that just want validation. The experience is terrible. Other apps, like hinge and bumble have such a small user base that you get far less matches and is quite more frustrating when, on bumble, I cant even message first, but the woman will never open the conversation. Dating apps are heavily women favored and as a guy are frustrating, annoying, money scams that make you feel like shit about yourself.
as a rural lesbian just imagining having the opportunity to swipe 140k times on any dating app is wild because i run out after three people
Girl same lol. I’m gay in a very red state and it’s horrible out there lol
I live in a rural area az a bi man. Twice as manh opportunities and yeah still ran out
Minorities living in Western Countries have it tough too, I can't imagine what my stats are...
Move to a city
Totally relate you are not alone
People always say not having arguments is a red flag, but if you communicate so effectively even during difficult conversations that nobody ever raises their voice or feels attacked, and everyone's always listening and empathising and trying to reach common ground, why is it not escalating to an argument a problem?
I've been with my partner for nearly three years at this point, and I wouldn't say we've *ever* properly argued.
I’ve been with my partner 7 years and we’ve also never had what I’d consider an argument. We’ve had a couple moments of one of being overly stressed and being a bit harsh but we talk about it calmly after and don’t yell back and forth.
I think it's because often the reason people don't have arguments is because they just don't say how they feel to keep the peace, and then one day when they finally have an argument about something small, everything that's annoying them comes out and it blows up into a huge fight. But obviously the healthier option is what you are doing.
Exactly this! My partner and I disagree but when we do we both try to see it from the other persons side and sit down and listen to each other’s reasons for our views. Sometimes we find common ground, sometimes we agree to disagree but it never ever results in nastiness, fights or insults. But that’s because we’ve both done a toooooon of work on ourselves.
Intelligent people don't have shouting argy-bargies. They are not a good idea even if they work in drama.
I suppose that depends on your definition of an argument. It is healthy to have disagreement, and to have discussions about those disagreements, as long as you are on point, and working towards a solution.
But if you get to the yelling and insulting stage, you are not heading anywhere constructive or healthy.
I have seen people using the word argument to mean both, so I am honestly a bit confused.
Tinder got me a 4-year relationship and a 6-months relationship. What I learned is that being single isn't so bad.
Acknowledged.
Good for you
Yeah, you don't know how good being single can be until a REALLY bad relationship has thrown you through the ringer.
Try being eternally single then... seriously it's cringe when people moan about their past relationships. Look, you had some good times OBVIOUSLY, and clearly if you're a mature and adult enough human being then you'll be able to take something from those failed relationships and know what to avoid in the future and learn more about yourself too. There is nothing to be learned by being single other than becoming so used to your own company that you genuinely start to think if there's something wrong with you for why the opposite sex barely ever show any interest in you. And as Shakespeare once said "Tis better to have loved and lost than to have never have loved at all", so stop being an ungrateful moron, and consider those of us that have never had a relationship not for lack of trying, thanks!
@@JohnSmith-sj2dk Congratulations :) I hope you have an amazing life and marriage! It wouldn't be for me. John also said: "to each their own, what do I know, I don't live in the time of internet and Tinder."
Met my current fiance in 2016 on Ok Cupid. She was the first person I spoke to and that was 20 minutes after I made the account. Had our first date about 2-3 weeks later and we have been together ever since.
lmao dude I have heard this scenario happen to so many different people who ended up finding a super amazing long-term partner out of it!
Still, it blows my mind - you have to imagine that you both got super lucky find each other without having to experience the cornucopia of weirdness out there.
I matched with her too, Joker.
“Current fiance”
Based.
Massive W, goodluck bro!
Nice to see you here Joker!
I think it’s interesting that people really dislike the ‘hey :)’ type openings. I don’t mind them, because if you match with someone conversationwise a interesting conversation will follow. I think it’s more relaxed than the forced opening lines
Yeah I'm shit at starting a good convo with somebody that idk at all lol
i don't use dating apps but I understand. if you're the one receiving the "hey" message how would you reply?
I think it is important to remember people you match with are likely also a bit shy. Some like asking about a favorite passtime gives them something to respond to after all.
@@moonlightequilibrium in my experience, the conversation just flows after the ‘hey’(or doesn’t but then you also know enough). It’s more of an ice breaker to then start talking about something else
Personally I don't like either! I'd much rather someone just actually started a conversation like "Hey, nice to meet you, so what music do you listen to?" or like "I saw you like this hobby, how did you get into that?" or that kind of thing. Just anything that shows a bit of interest and so you have something to start talking about.
I tried these apps years ago and man, the toll it can take on your psyche. Being rejected 99% of the time and the sheer volume and how it "gameifies" your emotions like a mobile game with transactions. After a year or two I just burned out and quit dating at all for a while.
Meeting my girlfriend and being happy now I am so glad to be in a relationship and also relieved to be away from those apps.
If you're on there and struggling, that is really normal. Best of luck to everyone.
These kind of stories always feel a bit unsatisfactory if you don't mention how and where you met your girlfriend. It sounds like you simple run into her in the pharmacy or something and just like that the deal was sealed.
@@lonestarr1490 it was at a social gathering. We chatted, found a lot of common interests, exchanged numbers, and then dated.
I never tried them. I got blown out hundreds of times year ago doing real life pick up, and my odds where the same as yours. Hundreds of hours of near waste time, money and energy.
I lasted like 2 weeks before I confidently gave up online dating. That was like 2 years ago and I’m still single, but never going back.
I think it's harder on men. Men get 2% of their swipes back. Women get 30% + .
This is ultra depressing, 6 years and only 12 dates.....insane.
He admits he's picky
i’m an early 20s woman so i never had any trouble but yeesh these statistics are bleak to look at. i remember using bumble bff to make some female friends around town and i finally understood what guys meant when dating apps were miserable. people ghosting, convos that go nowhere, or people just using the app to pass time but never meeting up
same on the wlw sides of these apps! to be fair though im terrible at getting to know people online, so i never know how to keep a conversation going without already having common experiences ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
What do you expect? People have lifes
@@kurrwa that's not point, Ding Ding
@@kurrwa what does that have to do with anything?
Same. I did the same thing and it was so overwhelming. Although I did meet one group of friends and we meet up sometimes, but it's not often and 50% of the group has dropped out
I met my husband (he's from the UK, I'm from the US) on Tinder a few years ago! He was on holiday in my city and we really hit it off.
Long story short, we got married this year and I'm moving to the UK this summer. :)
Damn, so nice to hear about these rare stories where things just work. Congratulations on your wedding :)
I'm guessing all of Evan's videos about being an American living abroad and taxes and all that will become very relevant now lol
@@nahuelma97 they happen sometimes! and yes - one of the biggest things that brought me to Evan’s channel! at least i’m already aware of the tax nightmares to come 🥲
@@jonaschick912 oof exactly. Pull a Tina Turner and renounce your citizenship lmao I'm pretty sure it doesn't come with the millions and a mansion in Switzerland but at least you won't have to pay taxes to a country you don't even live in anymore lol
@@jonaschick912 just avoid earning over $100K and you won't have to pay (haha). Unfortunately, you'll still have to file :(
Congratulations! I wish you a long, happy, healthy life together ❤️
I saw on your Instagram that this video didn't do as well but I just wanted to say I really really enjoyed this video, the statistics, the infographics, the insights into dating apps and your puns and quips as always. Keep making what YOU want to make, and the right people will watch :)
Hello how are you
The videos popped off now
I definitely dodged a bullet with dating apps. Used tinder for one week and met my partner of 8 years and we’re getting married this year. So glad I don’t have to spend all of my time on these apps, it seems soul destroying!
Some people got all the luck. Makes you think: maybe it's a law of nature of some sorts. "The overall amount of luck remains constant" or whatever.
But anyway: best wishes for the two of you!
I have a similar story, I used Bumble for only couple weeks, met my boyfriend and now we are together for 1.5 years
You know the divorce statistics?! A smart man don't marry.
This is extremely common - especially on dating websites where you PAY to use their service. If you're a decent, honest person without ridiculous standards then you're likely to find a relationship fairly quick.
@@interdimensionalsteve8172 Fucking bullshit. I've been on multiple apps for more than a year, I've paid for various of them, I'm slightly under the average male height (178cm), attractive face, receding hairline, late 30s. I've only matched with scammers, prostitutes, hideous older post-wall women, hideous obese women, expired single moms that have tied the tubes & are "looking for love"(i.e. a betabuxxer) etc etc. The attractive ones that you do match with, they'll message 1-2x before they ghost you, or they'll take forever to respond like weeks & her response will be extremely low effort & low value, or you say one wrong thing & she'll block you, or they'll unmatch you before you correspond. Only women & 6' 7 chads get the kinds of results OP is talking about. Needless to say I've stopped using these fucking apps.
Maybe it's me but Hinge has started to go the same way as all the others. They generally seem to suggest less popular profiles and keep the more popular ones for their "standouts" page where you pay for roses to send them. All these apps are just designed to make money. Anything else is coincidental.
That wouldn't surprise me, since they're owned by Match Group, Inc., just like all the others. So of course the same business logic will be applied.
Honestly that seems kinds better , the hottest girls only go for the top 10% of men so unless your there you prob wont match , on tinder i would only see super hot girls and think dam where are the regular girls
yeah that’s pretty much always been my experience
I prefer viewing some of the less popular profiles. I might actually stand a chance with them.
Actually, I'm only some of the way in so idk if you address this later, but I'd be interested in hearing how online dating is when you have a significant online presence. Presumably it gets weird if people you match with already have one-way parasocial relationships with your content?
Not what you asked but I remember Tomska saying when he met his girlfriend Charlie he wanted to wait a while before telling her about youtube. And then on their first date someone recognised him.
I think sometimes they'll ban the account cos they think it's fake or someone reports it as fake.
I remember Brittany venti got banned bcos of this 💀
fame is not good for making relationship some people will like you for your fame not your personality
@@kurrwa if they dont know your content, then that isnt a bad thing & could just be a 'oh cool!' type thing. But if they take it to extremes or are obsessive for only that reason, then yeah that could deffo be the kiss of death of many relationships.
Don't be paranoid about parasocial social powwows.
Strong Jesus vibes at the moment, Evan.
I gave up on Tinder and Bumble recently, and instead made a conscious effort to hang out with people I didn't know so well, who introduced me to other people. Got invited to a lot of parties (the fact that it was Christmas helped) and within a month I had three girls I was interested in who also liked me. One of them is now my girlfriend.
So much better to meet people in real life in a low pressure environment and knowing that you get on, rather than the first time you meet someone being a proper date. I've always got more out of just saying yes to social things. Those people who seem to effortlessly get into relationships are usually the same people who have lots of friends and make an effort to hang out with them a lot. They also don't only chat to strangers if they fancy them, they chat to everyone.
THIS
100%
And the best part about that: If you meet with all the people you met through other people and continue to meet with everyone you met through them, you only have to proceed for 6 iterations in total in order to meet every single human on Earth!
@@lonestarr1490 including Kevin Bacon
Your advice is good for normal people. For those on the less desired spectrum it's not enough.
I haven't met a woman who liked me until now. Yes, I went to university, yes I have quite a lot of friends and hobbies and NO that does not mean you will have a real chance. (I'm in my low 40s now). ALL my dates so far were through dating apps
This was very interesting, I definintly get the most interaction on hinge. Something that is definitely worth mentioning is hinge has a much bigger focus on actual relationships over hookups and casual sex so I'm sure that culture probably helps with proper connections. I used to have all the apps in a group on my phone called "self-esteem killers"
Hahahahahahahahahahahaha self esteem killers
Oh man 🤣 I feel they're the same way too
@@HackersSun that's me rn cause I've got no in person game and after I get shot down once I just give up
On "cringe"
Dating apps are probably one of the worst things to happen to society in recent history. All these stats are wildly depressing.
Yep and if you look at an average girl’s stats it’s WILDLY different. Even a below average girl
I can tell you right now, those stats are a lot better than the average man's.
Dating apps and social media, the destruction of the modern world. And yet most people are completely clueless.
Cope more glad us women don’t have to settle
@@nevergiveupbaby1720 as a woman, you should NEVER settle...
Evan, I'm so happy for you and your relationship! I wish you lots of happiness.
I've seen girls swiping before and I would say 90% of the time the guys fail to get a right swipe because their pfp is bad. Bad lighting... mirror selfie... shirtless... all of those things are automatic no unless you are already top 1% good looking, and even then you may come off as cocky and then be unattractive to some.
Well I am a photographer so I know lighting and have killer lenses, but more than ONE of those style photos and it’s too try hardy 😅
Mine was a balance of nice photos showing myself, myself with friends, and hobbies / travels ensuring I’m very visible in photo. Worked eventually haha
pfp?
@@PeterPaoliello profile picture
Damn what's Bluepill answer this Shan guy gave.
I had a topless pic on my tinder, but it was the pic I have on this profile. Not showing too much.
Anyway, I never had problems with matches or anything on Tinder. I'm a narcissist though, and I live in Norway, so I ran into way too many "wahmen power, respect wahmen" feminist types, and I find those ridiculous.
Went away for a weekend with someone I met on Tinder, and I didn't know she was like that before we went on that trip. It was a huge mistake. First night she started talking about her being able to do anything a man could do. I said "Can you carry 120lbs on your back?", which she said "If she wanted to" and so on. She was a turnoff for me, as it was obvious she was affected by too much internet bullshit.
Women in Norway are scared of being women. They wanna try to be men. But usually I dont have a problem bringing out the woman in them.
Anyway, if you wanna attract women, you have to be confident. Not cocky, but confident. If you're cocky, hold that back until you know them, and then use your cockiness/narcissism jokingly.
I've been living with a girl for 16 months now, and everything's great. I'm being misogynistic as fuck, and she used to say she was a feminist, but now she hates several aspects of modern feminism, and she loves my misogyny. I'm so open and honest though, most adult people seem to enjoy the way I talk. Younger adults don't. They seem to take life way too seriously.
This is really helpful video. I have been on all 3 apps for god knows how long (I also thought the same about hinge when I first started using it!). It really feels like tinder is just a cesspit and a huge waste of time, nobody is on there for anything serious now and bumble is heading in the same direction. Hinge feels like its now the only app where people are looking for the same thing and willing to actually chat and date. Its also nice to know that the feeling of loneliness which is magnified when you get rejections on these apps is not felt by just me. This video has made me want to look into my stats. Thanks so much Evan, a really useful video for me.
Average looking men have an awful time on the current dating apps. Watch the fake profile videos on here.
This was very interesting. As someone who has never used a dating app, I'm surprised at how many different people in three different apps are shown to one person
As a 29 year old in the UK, I can honestly say your data purely reflected my own experiences of online dating. Thanks for the content :)
I asked out 8 women on tinder this year, dated 6, had sex with 5 kissed the 6th one and im about to have my third date with her while having zero status (28yo, started new studies this year and minimum wage job)
Hello im from the philippines
@@virgileusa If you are measuring success by the amount of sex, you're dumb as a brick.
the most attractive people on the app DONT need to pay . they’re praying on the lower tier people in attractiveness . here’s the catch , if a girl doesn’t find you attractive , being at the top of her stack ain’t going to change nothing
Except if there's 5 guys she likes and you're the last she may begin talking with the others and be less interested in chatting with you
Unfortunately, paying changes a lot. Im a very mid guy, but I match with more attractive women when I pay vs not.
@@MrEucalyptus47you're down bad. Beta male simp. Paying for toxicity 😂
I'd be interested to see how they manage to classify chats into "relationship" or "casual sex" categories 🤔
Those are user inputs
@@evan oh, interesting, so you're shown the chats and are asked and then that's it labels them? Or how? If only I hadn't quit Tinder around a year ago, I would go into the website to request my data lol I'm pretty sure I'll fall into the trap if I open the website again
When you delete your account on the app, you get asked the why are you leaving question. So maybe that stat is not so accurate overall for their users because I don’t 100% of their user are deleting their accounts but maybe higher than I think. Same goes for individual level, you could sign out but still have the account it may get deactivated(which just takes it out of the pool)…so again that stat is up to the individual if they are honest with their account. I hoped that made sense
@@carmenn2397 lol i've never deleted my account. If I don't want to use it anymore I just delete my app
I make casual sex look competitive
I see many people hating on dating apps and I understand why. I feel very mixed about them, using these dating apps I'm slowly overcoming my fear of talking to people... in the few months I've been here I haven't landed a date yet but I feel much more confident at least.
I believe it really depends on your mentality. I had the same purpose to improve my conversation skills with no expectations and it worked pretty well for me. After few months i got so good that many girls complimented my conversations skills. But once i've decided to actually find a girlfriend on tinder it became a pretty soul crusching experience.
Lol you think you got better at talking but never had a real date 😂
Cope more
Bahahahhahahhahahah😂
You're so clueless. You've experienced nothing yet kid
The part I hate about dating apps is you’re successful a lot more if you’re blunt and show little care or interest in the person. Fast and direct. It’s shallow connections.
Hello im from the philippines
I remember meeting the girl of my dreams, she was literally perfect. Then I broke up with her because I had horrible self-esteem issues and just mentally I wasn't invested. After a couple years of being alone, stopped drinking, vaping, and just trying to be the best I can be. I reached back out to her and she's in a relationship. Now the thought of going on these apps, freaks me out. But I work from home and don't really like talking to girls at the gym since it's my place of peace. Hopefully we have a good run. Cheers on the video bro.
Stop being a little simp heath. You sound beta as fk
"She was perfect" 😂 LMFAOOOOO put her on a pedestal
When you hesr the word simp just know that it totally relates to people like YOU
I’ve never used a dating app in my life but that is a weapons-grade title, hooked me straight away
Thank Tom Scott for that one as my original title was awful so he told me to use this one haha
Just a note on the price model. I think they actually plan the cost to be high enough that they can 1) make a profit with lower volume and 2) actually reduce/filter the amount of people that use it or buy it. Tinder Gold/Platinum wouldn't provide any value or work for the customer if everyone was bumped to the top of the stack.
Yo just do arranged marriage. Makes the most financial sense. While we're into game theory of sex.
Regarding the pricing; it actually changes depending on who and where you are. Tinder has a financial incentive to keep some kinds of people on the platform and others not. So they increase the price to kick people off, and lower the price to keep others on. Men are charged more, women are charged less. Ugly people are charged more, pretty people are charged less. Rich people are charged less, poor people are charged more. Each of those values compound each other, but in isolation they demonstrate the point.
The incentive is to create the most desireable dating app that keeps you single and paying for as long as possible.
I would say its just what marketing is profiteering off of desperation. That's why its important to have some self respect and not keep shilling out money on these apps which wont guarantee success no matter what price you pay.
Hello im from the philippines
You're pretty much spot on. One thing to note is that all of these paid features are pretty placebo, if you look like a model you'll have plentiful swipes even without paying because you're a commodity that the app values since it draws more women in to stay engaged in the app.
this was really interesting. I'd never use online dating again, I tried it for a while but it was the most soul destroying experience for me. It really just made me feel so "different," now I'm happy single anyway and if I meet someone at some point great, if not, also great. A lot of people think I must be lying when I say that but it's true!
This definitely makes a lot of sense. In my experience, I also felt miserable whenever I used dating apps because I inadvertently linked my self-esteem to how many matches and likes I was getting, which is what these apps slowly do to your brain even if you enter them with the mindset of not letting yourself be affected by them.
Look up the blackpill. You aren’t ‘different’ you’re unattractive
@@marrodctinder is real life bro. If you don’t get likes it’s because you have been deemed unattractive by them
I went to one party, met one guy...20 years later we're still together.
Nothing is better than meeting someone in person and having chemistry.
Would be interesting to get similar data for gay and lesbian people, as the dynamics would need different and interesting
that's what I was wondering during this. i wish tinder gave separate data for how often women swipe right on men vs on women, and how often men do the same, etc. but that might make it a little complex.
Yeah, from what aps I've used over the years, I've had quite a few chats and conversations with guys. None really went anywhere, but a lot of the time a bit of convo will take place.
As a bi woman I'll have to admit I swipe right on a far higher percentage of women than men. I think men often put little to no effort into their profiles and if all I have are pictures? I'll likely swipe left unless you're a REALLY attractive person.
@@DM-nw5lu Hi, i like your comment.
The answer is right there, look is more efficient compared to profile to get a right swipe.
@@Koozomec It isn't if you're not extremely attractive.. which is also very subjective. If you, as a guy, put something engaging in your bio and put up pics that show your hobbies/interests, you are a lot more likely to get swiped right on even if you are not an Adonis. And idk about you but efficiency doesn't trump effectiveness. So while, duh, it's faster to just upload a bunch of pics what's the point if your success rate with that is zero? I swiped right on girls because their bios peaked my interests and their pictures were interesting. Not because I thought they're hot. Many guys don't even have bios. Why would I swipe right on then when they don't even want to put the effort of writing up a bio into a potential relationship?
My mum met my dad by using Teletext Dating in the mid-late 90s. I think You’d see a basic profile and if you liked what you saw you’d call the number on screen to hear their voice. Interesting format.
Having to pay to move yourself up on a list tells me the app misses the point of what it's supposed to be doing. The people at the top should be better matches, not those willing to pay more
It is supposed to make some money in the first place so it does well.
Evan looking increasingly like a sort of Irish Aragorn
"Yer have me swoRd!"
I haven't tried online dating in like 2 years, but I found all of it quite depressing. Went on one date with someone who lives an hour drive from me and that was it. Living in a big city like London would certainly be a lot better for it than the small town I live in.
It's not. The big cities don't matter if you're a guy. Unless you're in the top 20% of guys looks wise and wealth wise on there.
It's WORSE when women have more options. Sheesh
My stats after a over two years: Bumble: The least matches, no conversations, no dates. Hinge: The most matches, two conversations, 1 date (got ghosted later). Tinder: Middle matches, one conversation, 1 time getting stood up.
Speaking as an atheist I thank God every day I am old enough and had the dumb luck to find a partner before the advent of online dating. It just sounds soul destroying. Be hot! Be funny! No, not like that, that's cringe! Don't just say hi, that's so boring! Don't give me that line, that's so desperate! Just hearing about it gives me anxiety, I can't fathom what it does to your self worth to live it every day.
"There is someone out there for you, and you are gonna love each other and it's gonna be great."
I laughed out loud at that... Not with my character, no.
Loving your set these days. Happy to be seeing more and more of the new flat. Cheers
Hello im from philippines
Everyone knows that Tinder is for hooking up, Hinge is for serious relationships, and Bumble is for WOMEN making the first move allegedly.
Apparently many women on bumble don't even realise they have to message first!
@@aceman0000099 They changed it recently where when women gets a match it automatically sends one of her prompts and that counts as the first message. Then the guy has to send the next message or the girl can't message back. I use to prefer Bumble over the rest. I figured on Bumble women won't have 100+ guys messaging them since they had to put in that first little bit of effort and message first. Now if I had to guess Bumble is just as competitive trying to get women's attention as all the others.
@@chriscohen9559 yeah personally I used to get 3-4x as many matches on tinder compared to bumble, but a fraction as many messages. And the tinder matches were usually considerably more attractive. I'm banned from tinder now though because I pirated tinder gold 😂
Women complained about having to message first because they realized it was hard to take the initiative and come up with something witty, so they changed it. These are the same women that write in their bio, "say something more interesting than hi."
Lmfao no they don't.. you're off your head 😂
I think you're so right about Hinge being like the only one that doesn't withhold information of people who like you unless you give them money or coincidentally like them back like months later. The little prompts are interesting and give you something to respond to, it's much harder to have a blank profile with 1 blurry picture like on every other app 🤣. You can't filter without giving them money which is a shame but also in the end all you gotta do is take a minute to read the profile to see for yourself so it's fine.
I think that's one of the true reasons behind e.g. the Incel movement. The dating "market" is just skewed through dating apps.
I met my husband on E-harmony and I liked the app way more than others because you could really filter your matches. This just automatically boosted the quality of my matches. I noted a big difference in the men I was seeing and talking with. The quantity of people you get shown is a lot less which I appreciated because it prevents the mindless commodification of the humans you are seeing. It helped me stay a little more grounded.
It's a total scam though. You can't see your matches without paying, and they will demand you keep paying them money even if you cancel your membership.
I also make a point of creating a personalized message for everyone, often including a pun. Usually they don't reply. On those off chances that a girl does make the first move and they just say "hey" I literally reply back telling them that their message is boring.
Im just so over the idea that dating apps will actually bring anything of substance that I mostly use them as a way to humor myself. I definitely am open to meeting people, but it's such a rarity anyway that it's more worthwhile to just send messages that I can screenshot and send to other people for laughs. If it's meant to be, then maybe someday someone I'm messaging will actually read and reply to humorous messages and accept a date.
Approach women in person. Don't hesitate. If they show any interest, give your number then say "have a good one".
This was really interesting. As someone who met their now husband in 2011, I missed all of the dating apps so I had no ideas on how these apps worked. I love seeing the stats.
they're an awful experience, i was on them for around 6 years (most of my 20s) until i realized i was destroying myself looking for affection and validation in an app for hookups. And I was doing good (getting lots of matches, long convos, a lot of dates, hookups and even 1 long relationship) but honestly I think meeting people in common with your inner circle is better, more chances of them being closer to your lifestyle/values and interacting in a more honest way that is not only pretending to be a good fit. The moment i decided to stop using them has been a great improvement. My current partner is a mutual from twitter, we had been casually chatting before for years and even though could be classified as online dating the fact we had mutual acquaintances and chat before without the intent of dating is what made it stand out and avoid this feeling of being a product for sell
Love these data summaries. What did you use to process the data into disable information and then visualize it for our enjoyment?
Oh yes, Bumble, where women think they just have to text you “hey :)”… or sometimes even not text at all until the match is gone, which happens at some point if you do not spend money!
Dating apps are soul destroying!!! My self esteem actually plummeted when I was on them. I always got friend zoned. Weirdly I get asked out a lot when travelling- I might just be more carefree then so I just need to have travelling energy all the time lol
these dating apps really do suck
I hate the term friend zoned. Makes it sound like people are horrible for not reciprocating your feelings when they have no obligation to. At least people are friendly about it 🤣 (I'm not having a go at you personally just expressing my general dislike hahaha🤣)
@@JeM130177 lol I know what you mean, however my issue is if you're paying (because as Evan mentioned ,you get better odds of making a match when you pay) to be on an app to meet a potential life partner and the folks you like are like ah thanks I like you too, not enough to go on a date with you but enough to chat with you '. it just gets to the stage of well what's the point. Because I swear there used to be a site where you could sign up strictly just to make friends (don't know if that exists anymore or if it got turned into an app too). But yes, at least they are nice about it because boy have I come across rude ones too geez!
@@khwezik3894 oh yeah for sure it's definitely fair to want someone to be honest and to not lead each other on. I've made friends via dating apps coincidentally but it's been a mutal kind of "we're having fun chatting but not feeling anything more". But yeah I've deffo had convos where one side had been like okay so how we feeling because if this isn't going anywhere maybe we should call it and I think that's fair.
@@JeM130177 this is one dumb opinion/far reach. How the fuck does the term “friend zoned” make anyone sound remotely horrible?
My experience with tinder is on an other planet with yours. I find it really usefull when you want to go out with someone on the weekend. Always worked for me
Found this to be a very insightful video, and can confirm, of the apps out there Hinge has gotten me the most in person dates and matches by a long shot. Tinder is a complete waste of time. I even have on my Bumble profile something along the lines of “be more creative than just saying hi” and it’s actually worked pretty well for me too 😂
I legit found this really interesting. I have tried several dating apps in the past and have been wondering how to get good matches on them and stuff.
@@chasing_the_horizon Get a load of that guy. ^
@@chasing_the_horizon soz to disappoint my dude but I'm lesbian.
@@shaynagarrett2157 I'd rather stick rusted nailsnin my eyes
As a college student who used Tinder for a month or so, it is SO much easier as a woman on that app lol
Well duh, guys rarely get a match a week and it’s mostly a bot
it-is-easier-for-females-anywhere.
@@taketheblackpillneo3940 Lol, just imagine a world like that.
Personally I'd just go down to the college bar and hike my skirt up over the pool table. Easy peasy.
@@deViant14 just look at a man and you're set
I met my fiancé on bumble, I’d been on the app off and on for years but I downloaded during Covid Lockdown at the beginning of the pandemic and she was my first match and ever since our first date we haven’t been apart! Our anniversary is next week.
As someone who never used a dating app before and had an idea tinder is a waste of time, this video helped confirm that, but now bumble keeps showing as ad everywhere i was surprised bumble is essentially not much better, if not as bad as tinder.
I will recommend hinge to ppl tho because i'm a fan how they approach it in a genuine way rather than turning it into a gacha game to profit off of lonely souls looking for a genuine partner.
I'd will keep it in mind for myself too but i don't rly have a need for dating apps and i kinda hope i wont ever will seeing how much time and effort gets put into it.
The problem I have with Hinge is that the prompts are very **normie** and feel super shallow compared to the paragraphs I can write on okcupid. The matches have also not gotten better for me no matter how consistently I swipe.
if you're using words like normie I think the problem isn't which dating app you're using
@@mykeehed5096 this is such a stupid response, tons of people use that word. are you like a boomer or something?
@@mykeehed5096 ok boomer
@@deviance904 I'm 20
@@mykeehed5096 woah slow down old man, dont want to throw out your back writing that comment. Maybe you should eat some prunes & take a nap you prehistoric geezer
I get overwhelmed when I matched with 5+ people at the same time. I’d be curious to see my unmatch rate
@@test-zg4hv you ever met a guy named Anie?
@@Deadpool55223 "have you seen this man in your dreams?"
You have proven how much of a waste of time a dating app is. This time would be most fruitful to invest in yourself.
"Then there's those one's nobody actually uses, like Badoo or whatever" Lol me and a friend of mine both met our boyfriends on badoo.
I agree with you on the part where you can become really self-conscious/insecure based on your experiences on dating apps. I have experienced this less because it seems that in general women have an easier time on such apps since men get to them more than the other way around. However, I do recommend to, if you want to be in a relationship because you are unhappy with yourself, try to become okay with the person you are right now first, before going on a dating app. Understand that a relationship is a complementary thing rather than something to fill a void. If you are happy with the person you are right now (doesn't mean perfect, just being okay with yourself), you're less likely to lower your standards to people you won't connect with long-term.
What about someone who was top of their class and had a shot at going to space someday, but gets a permanent illness and has to stay inside and can't work?
I don't think it's possible for everyone to become okay with that.
And no matches anyways.
@@KWifler But still the relationship can't fill the void. If once only relays on the relationship it gets toxic.
In east europe badoo is very popular
@@KWifler did that happen to you? What happened?
@@Kavaitsu Yes, I got sick at 13 and almost died from bleeding a lot and now I mostly rest in bed. It is extremely depressing and lonely.
Interesting! I love how knowledgeable you are.
Tinder’s pricing model is based on how “attractive” you are determined to be. The more attractive you are the less tinder premium costs. Older, unattractive men will be charged incredible amounts +$50 and hot young females usually get gold for free.
Hello how are you im from the philippines
That’s mens fault being very picky about looks
I’d tried all of these, with varying levels of success, for ten years. Strangely, I was ready to stop trying once Facebook entered the game, but I gave it a go, and got a message from my current boyfriend. It’s been three years we’ve been together, and we have NEVER had an argument, either. I love it here!
I was married for 22 years, from age 19😲 I did some crazy dating after we split, but it got tedious. I'm happy being single and NOT dating😂😂 Maybe someday🤷🏼♀️ but those apps terrify me. It really seems like a meat (not meet) market. Maybe I'm just showing my age. I'm 54, not THAT old😉😂😂😂
I've got a 10 pound sausage with your name on it
@@leatheljamie That's a weird hook up line.
Hinge went downhill sometime during the pandemic, they seem to put the ones you may be interested in behind a paywall now(Roses). I also had terrible numbers on it of the two or so months using it before it stopped matching me with anyone of interest. 10% I messaged responded, 10% who responded went further than one message, 10% of those agreed and went on a date, one short relationship, and 0 women ever messaged me. I tried to make interesting messages asking questions, took advice on photos and prompts. I assume my area just sucks for online dating compared to other areas but it’s also hard to self examine to really see what I could do to be more approachable
pretty much this. the algorithm works, but it only works on the starred/rose section. normal swiping is a joke. I've been using it for almost a month, and 90% of my matches have been from roses. i.e. paid ones lmao.
I think I've had three or four matches in a few months on hinge, one of my housemates has had a similar experience, but two seem to be having a great time with one finding their current girlfriend on there.
It seems like it works well for some and not for others.
@@scrublord_val dating apps are 99% about what you look like.
You were a lot more successful than I ever was on tinder 😂
After a recent dabble on tinder I started to think I was too undesirable to date anyone. Recently ran into a really sweet girl I half knew from years ago & asked if she fancied a catchup. Been on a few amazing dates now but due to my time on tinder Im still having a tough time accepting that someone like her could be interested in me. Even after beautifully waking up together after a perfect night & making plans for the next date, I still wonder how and why. Just going to try not to overthink & keep enjoying while it lasts. Nervously really excited for next time.
If we're being honest, I agree with being salty over the "hey" women will give on Bumble. Like you see so so so many profiles on Tinder with no bio or "message me first", which is an instant left swipe, and then when they are the ones expected to message first they just barely do. Am I crazy for thinking this? Like surely you should put in the effort you expect out of it, and whoever swipes last (swiping and seeing it is a match) should usually message first regardless
Bumble is the only dating app I've ever used, specifically because I thoroughly detest traditional gender roles and the expectation that I must always take the lead. I thought, surely this app, with its feminist subversion of social convention, will appeal to the strong-willed, independent, and self-assured women I like. Receiving an opening message that is only "hey :)" comes across as a woman trying to cheat the system and force the first move back onto me, which is incredibly frustrating considering they could be using literally any other dating app if they want to act all submissive, helpless, and pathetic.
I tried Bumble for a bit too, just getting GIF openers was possibly even worse, because they'd literally tap to go rather than make the effort to type hey.
I put some effort into my profile to give an idea of who I am and conversation starters, not a blank one with pics of the same face pose from the same angle with heavy filters. So it's not exactly like there's a hard time coming up with something.
Women who put in the bare minimum will have natural abundance mentality, its why they expect to be wowed within the first couple messages and dont give a fuck about the first bumble message they spew. In my experience, half the time you have to open just as wittily on bumble as you would tinder, although they have tried to address this.
@@colehartel7206 You are right. Bumble really is all about getting a one-word sentence as a message, then putting all the work by yourself like you usually would. Women making the "first move" on Bumble is just a hoax.
Honestly, I just put my snapchat in so people can add me there so I don't have to pay and neither do they
Speaking as a living fossil (who very luckily found the right person 20+ years ago*), I am so very glad that I'm no longer in the dating game - it all just seems so very complicated nowadays**. So congratulations to those who have got there, and the best of luck to those that are still looking, and a general 'hiya, hope things are going well' to those that have no interest in any of this crap.
* to be precise, 22 years, 10 months, and 7 days (bloody hell, I've just realised that we're getting within spitting distance of half my entire life, how fucking cool is that?)
** this sentence illustrates how much of an old fart I am.
Same. I feel so bad for these young'uns. It just feels like the nurturing and accepting atmosphere of high school has been extended and expanded to include everyone 24 hours a day, and if that's not a damned nightmare I don't know wat is.
I totally agree! Fortunately I met my old man in August 1986 and married him in September 1988. Still together, 4 kids and 5 grandkids later 😊 (That's 10 years over half our lives together!)
We mainly put our longevity down to nobody else being dumb enough to take us on, that and the fact that it would cause way too much hassle 😂
Yep, I am so incredibly glad I was lucky enough to meet my future husband at university when I was just shy of 18 and he had just turned 19, and I never had to use any kind of dating app. We're now 31/32 and just celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary 😊
@@ShirinRose Congratulations!!!
I love that there are self aware foot notes in this UA-cam comment
40 seconds into the video and I already liked, subscribed and commented. Don’t disappoint me!
Thanks mariya
I met my husband on OKcupid in 2012 :) we have been together since and have two kids! 10 years this November.
Back then OKCupid was effective. Things have got a lot worse since Tinder became popular.
I actually really love the Editor Evan shirt which matches and actually enhances his ginger beard and hair.
I don't do dating apps but then I am Gen X and I prefer the old fashioned way of meeting people randomly in social places when out with friends 😊
Finally a man who actually has some semblance of understanding of how dating app algorithms work.
All these idiots swipe right 50-100% of the time expecting results.
You're successful on dating apps BECAUSE you're selective (honestly still not selective enough, the expected optimal ratio I've seen is close to 3% right swipe)
Happy for you and your relationship!
Was on both Tinder and Bumble for roughly 8 months, threw money at it and did everything I was supposed to do for it to work. Not a single damn match in that whole time, all that money, all that effort and perseverance, for nothing. Absolutely and utterly crushed my soul and self esteem. Yet my brother downloads Bumble and he's already talking to 3 people within half and hour.
What a bloody gyp.
My man here is using a TOTALLY different Hinge than I am I think. I just tested it out man, I swiped through around 30 profiles (lost count around 19 then again at 25-ish) and I SWEAR, the pictures got uglier and larger with every swipe. By the time I got done, every profile was a woman who had to wear at least 400lbs. I'm not picky, I don't pursue strictly skinny or fit girls, I enjoy a bit thickness, but DAMN. But it wasn't just the appearance that got worse, it was the compatibility, each one went farther away from things I am looking for in religious and political views as well, not to mention interests in common.
The way Hinge works now days is, they show you all the least attractive profiles, and everyday shuffle in about ten good looking profiles into the "Rose" section. You get one free rose per week, any others you want to send you have to pay for. So essentially, Hinge is almost no better than Tinder at this point cause you have to pay money if you want to like and communicate with people who aren't the absolute bottom of the barrel.
Gosh I hate how awful all that sounds. Like I feel like a massive douche just pointing this out, Hinge is honestly kind of disgusting for implementing this system to be honest.
Hey uh… that’s what I was saying about it at first. It took a good month for it to not show um… I’ll use your words “bottom of the barrel” people.
@@evan these apps are total scams! I get almost no matches anymore on tindr and I swear they match me with people I’ve never swiped right on! 😤😤
It's really interesting that he said the first time using hinge that people were not attractive. I had the opposite experience where everyone was REALLY attractive!
how do you reckon the Hinge algorithm works? Does it ask for lots of profile info, and suggest people who align with your interests and values?
OR do you think it's based on other users' data? Like "people who liked this person also liked these people" ???
Because I absolutely LOVE the idea that the most successful dating app of the era is essentially just the "Customers also bought" section of amazon.
I think it’s complex but uses user-input features that show patterns. Swipe right on enough taller people to get more taller people and such
Hinge has a specific section of like "here's like 7 people we really think you'll like you can use your 'special' like that you get 1 a week of on any of these" and tbf they don't change up much but I think they do a decent job 🤣 the recommended shopping cart as it were hahahah
@votejj That would be extremely smart for a dating app! So smart that it can't be completely true, because that way the app would indeed be working towards making itself obsolete.
Great video! I clicked on this video just because I thought it'd be interesting to see if my assumptions about these apps lined up with the facts you presented (yes, they lined up pretty well), but I stayed for the funny commentary and your interesting insight from using these apps for a much longer time than I did (my mental health just couldn't keep up with them).
This seems like a tremendously frustrating way to get to know anyone.
The best part of hinge is there are very limited swipes per day, which stops me from killing myself over crafting messages, that and all the apps adding verification
Really interesting video! I love data.
For myself, I'm not sure how many people I swiped on in the two months I had the app but I think I talked to maybe 15 people on tinder and went on one date, which then resulted in my current relationship.
That sounds similar to my experience, at least once I got my social anxiety under control and was actually able to ask people out lol. I think your mindset going into dating is a huge factor for how successful you will be.
As a single 29m that just moved to London. I've had the best success with bumble.
I get matches on both Hinge and Bumble but the conversations seem to get somewhere on bumble. I've been here just over a month and I'm already done with apps. So much effort to just be ghosted. I now just chat to as many as possible. Definitely a numbers game 😉
So interesting Evan. I also spent a lot of time over many years on dating apps. People I met from tinder, garbage. People I met on Hinge, pretty cool! I’m also now in a relationship with someone I met on hinge (with bias as he actually already knew a friend of mine so I got spy time) and it’s going great! I might do this data thing myself. Also, good perspective to add: it’s scary to be a woman in online dating. You basically meet up with a man and hope he doesn’t do something awful to you. Like lots of little blind dates. I had to be very, very careful when I went out with someone and where.
edit: I do not care about the “not all men” comments. Shut up and leave me alone.
Kind of pointless doing this as a girl the results are obvious
dating apps have never been appealing for me, but casual dating as a whole I imagine to be super uncomfortable for women. Like, I have massive trust issues, but I can't be the only person to think it's super weird that people just go to a stranger's place? Or invite that stranger into their home? Unfathomable.
But hey, my best friend is on tinder and she's pretty successful - meanwhile, I refuse to use dating apps at all because I hate the very principles they are built on (superficiality, injecting "market logic" into personal relationships, FOMO).
And I imagine any match (however unlikely that it would even get that far) would disappear as soon as I informed them of my asexuality..
They're scary for men too. One lie from a woman can destroy your life.
People are people. Most men aren't serial killers or rapists. You probably are no more likely to be hurt by someone you meet online vs someone you meet in person. In each scenario you meet them and don't really know who they are unless until you give them a chance. Any person who will only go out with someone that already have previously vetted no only limits their options but the options of people they won't consider. Just because you know of someone, doesn't mean they are good or ideal for you. As well most people don't have access to people they want to date. The reality is your dating out of fear not potential compatibility.
When I was using Tinder I only went on two dates (it was the same person)...partly because 90% of the guys I spoke to on there were only interested in a hook-up and that isn't my scene. To add to your comment about being a woman on online dating, I don't think men realise how *unappealing* meeting with random internet guys for sex really is for a woman. You would have to have a deathwish lol. It was wild, the amount of guys who would say something along the lines of "You should come over to my place" as if they thought I would even consider the idea lmao. Very easy way to get robbed/assaulted/killed/etc.
Holy shit your honesty about hinge was so unexpected and refreshing
Dating, and probably women, is a lost cause at this time.
You spelled "men" wrong! But yeah, I agree :')
@@Queen101Dalmatians Cope
Both you and the femcel below don’t have the best personalities 💀
You sold me on Hinge, I’ll try it out and keep you updated 🙌🏽
I met my fiancé on Tinder, but it wasn't before two years of swiping on Tinder to no avail. I'll say, the means of meeting your person is less important than the people around you, and whether you're ready for something serious. I swiped on my fiancé not because he was my typical "type," but because his bio was funny, and frankly I was ready for someone who could make me laugh.
My experience was nearly identical! I'd say the only real difference is that I swiped on him because he was clearly at the renaissance faire in his profile pic, and I figured if there was no chemistry we'd at least have a common interest to talk about.
Wow you both admit that you SETTLED for your current guys. That's a horrible position to put them in because you'll always feel that you could do better. You'll treat them accordingly too. I wish you gals could self reflect every once in awhile. 🤦🏽♂️
@@wayofthekodiak3118 Uh...what? I didn't settle for my husband, he wasn't the type I usually went for, but I instantly fell in love when I met him. I'm saying that love doesn't always follow a specific type, sometimes it just pops up unexpectedly. I didn't know people like him existed, there is no better.
@@wayofthekodiak3118so? Men do it all the time
Love when you do videos outside of your regular scope!
Please compare your stats to people using these apps in the US would love to see if the apps perform differently in different states/countries!
I bet comparison between metro, urban, and rural would show even more differences, regardless of the country.
Yeeeaa, i met my husband online. That was ugly date site but i just tried few sites and decided to give a possibility for all these sites. And he did the same😁
Evan, I haven't watched any of your videos for like a year, but your BEARD is FANTASTIC!
As a woman, I found bumble to usually go no where past a quick conversation, and I think I had about two first dates. Meanwhile not sure if it was just because I lived in more rural areas so people used tinder a little more seriously? But I’ve had a majority of my past partners from tinder, including my partner I’ve been dating for a little under a year! Had some really nice conversations on Hinge tbf so can see why it’d be good for finding like minded people!
Tinder mainly sucks for men. Great for women I imagine.
@@justmonika2345 I've used Tinder in multiple countries as a woman. Yes, you get matches, but you have to spend a lot of time figuring out who's actually a decent person who's not going to murder you.
Yes! Bumble was awful for me. The men seemed to think I'd put up with less effort from them since I spoke first. I had the worst dates from that app. Meanwhile I met my now fiance on Tinder.
@@justmonika2345 If you want a hook-up, perhaps. From my experience that's what 90% of my matches were looking for.
This was a solid upload.
Also appreciate you doing quick reviews on the lesser known apps at the end.
This is a really interesting concept! It made me want to check my data. As a female hinge is a lot more difficult to navigate as men feel more picky. As a female and tinder and badoo are an absolute match shit show. I also think each app has different intents. Hinge feels more targeted towards a relationship and tinder is definitely more of a hook up app.
must-be-nice-living-life-on-ez-mode,kek.
@@taketheblackpillneo3940 my guy out here malding in the replies of every girl here lmfao
@@taketheblackpillneo3940 Cry some more.
Genuinely curious as a woman who has never used Hinge, what do you mean about men "feeling more picky"?
@@madamebkrt Hello :) essentially hinge feels like it has men that are looking for something serious. Within that category it feels like they really judge you and try to find someone longterm. They will be much more interested in whether you have children, what job you do, your build and height. Men on hinge really seem like they are trying to figure out if you are worth their time.
I haven't watched your vids for about 2 weeks and WOW your beard game is glorious
My roommate gets so many matches everyday that she cannot comprehend that it's so difficult
I’m in my fifties and have been married 25 years. I know nothing of these apps but I saw a notification on my sons phone and he is on one of them. I’m here to just learn about these apps because when I was in high school and college in the dating scene no one used dating apps. I don’t blame anyone for using these but to me it seems better to just go organic and meet people out in the real world. Pray about it and let God set you up with someone. I know that’s old fashion but I guess that’s my age showing.
Tinder is absolutely atrocious. Other apps are normally worse though. From my experience. Most people don't even reply, some never even open messages. Once you do start a convo, majority of people are insanely dry. Once you find someone that isn't dry, majority of those people, from my experience will give me their snap, but then majority of those people will talk and never be willing to meet up. Honestly, it got to the point where I'd just ghost them if after 2 weeks or so, they were still unwilling to ever go on a date or meet up. Additionally, tinder for guys is atrocious. As a guy, if I set my search preference to men, I get 1k matches in a day. If it's on women, it's around 20 a month. It's a terrible experience and is heavily women favored. Sometimes you'll run into the "only here for friends" person on a dating app or the people that just want validation. The experience is terrible. Other apps, like hinge and bumble have such a small user base that you get far less matches and is quite more frustrating when, on bumble, I cant even message first, but the woman will never open the conversation. Dating apps are heavily women favored and as a guy are frustrating, annoying, money scams that make you feel like shit about yourself.