When Your Partner Doesn't Initiate Sex | Sex Expert Todd Creager

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  • Опубліковано 1 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 430

  • @kattykit139
    @kattykit139 4 роки тому +297

    It hurts in a different way when you’re the woman. It brings all these other doubts up and makes me feel unfemminine for wanting it more than he does or like I must be a huge slut. I’ve even had people say that I’ll probably end up cheating on him. Hurts

    • @rupalichandra6096
      @rupalichandra6096 4 роки тому +16

      Same here

    • @rupalichandra6096
      @rupalichandra6096 4 роки тому +7

      How long have u been in the marriage? We must leave in a year or so instead of taking it all out lives

    • @kattykit139
      @kattykit139 4 роки тому +4

      @@rupalichandra6096 I’ve been in about 5 years we’re not married tho engaged

    • @kattykit139
      @kattykit139 4 роки тому +3

      @@rupalichandra6096 how about you, it’s nice to hear from another lady

    • @ToddCreager
      @ToddCreager  3 роки тому +20

      Sorry I have been so slow in responding. I have worked with many couples where it is a woman that is frustrated. It is so easy to feel unfeminine or undesired or unworthy. It’s never about that of course. But I understand how difficult it is to not take things personally. I definitely help with that and particularly try to work with whatever is blocking the partner sexually.

  • @drummyt7166
    @drummyt7166 3 роки тому +117

    “It’s not about you”
    Great. There’s no solution.

    • @atlantean1209
      @atlantean1209 Рік тому +1

      As a man, all I can say is that there could be many different reasons. But I’ll just give you one that happens to me: at the beginning of a relationship, I am definitely in the mood all the time, but when stuff starts to feel mundane, usually around the six-month to one-year mark, I notice my drive goes down. And then my girl is frustrated, understandably.
      So I don’t know if this is partly a guy thing, or just my own thing, but that is certainly one of the reasons. Men are hunters by nature, so I do think there is something to the whole biological thing of wanting to roam and spread our seed. I wish it wasn’t the case. But basically I just get bored, and I do wonder if I need some type of open relationship. Maybe there is a perfect partner out there where I would never get bored and lose my drive, but I certainly haven’t found that person yet, so who knows.

  • @mikem6176
    @mikem6176 4 роки тому +206

    She’s tired. She’s preoccupied. She’s worried about something. She has to get up in the morning. It’s just another household chore.
    She’s never at a loss for excuses. She never has a convincing reason to want to. Yet here I am. I’m still here, I haven’t gone anywhere. But when the lights go out, and I’m the only one on my side of the bed, on hers, there sit all the worries, the chores, the obligations, the demands, the deadlines, all the unfinished business that I have to take a number and stand in line to wait behind. And when it’s finally my turn, it’s viewed just like all the rest of it is: an obligation, a worry, a chore.

    • @robg8784
      @robg8784 4 роки тому +17

      Hi Mike,Seems i feel you Through your Comment I have been Married 20 yrs and this is where i am also....Thanks for Sharing .

    • @iluvbiggirlz420
      @iluvbiggirlz420 4 роки тому +31

      But when that blue moon shows up, and let you not be in the mood, then its a issue.

    • @iluvbiggirlz420
      @iluvbiggirlz420 4 роки тому +4

      I feel you.

    • @Taylor-xo8nv
      @Taylor-xo8nv 4 роки тому +26

      Why not try to take on more of the domestic labor so she has less on her plate?

    • @mikem6176
      @mikem6176 4 роки тому +49

      Taylor 5587 That’s an all to common response, and one that assumes that men just don’t do anything around the house or with the kids. Plainly put, it’s a put-down of most married men, and it’s undeserved. Also, it doesn’t work. Men could do everything at home, while she puts her feet up. Come bedtime, it’s no different. So it’s not that she’s tired, or stressed, or worried, or overburdened. It’s that she’s not interested, and doesn’t see it as a priority.

  • @4NaturesStory
    @4NaturesStory 8 місяців тому +11

    Leave her…leave her…and leave her. NO MAN REGRETS LEAVING HER!!! Do it!!!

  • @JoshTheNightmare
    @JoshTheNightmare 3 роки тому +48

    My partner of 10 years does not initiate sex. We talked about it for years and told her how it made me feel. What hurts the most is that she recently had an affair and she was the one that went after the other. I’m devastated and want to leave but have two kids and don’t want to break their hearts…

    • @a.k.walker7429
      @a.k.walker7429 3 роки тому +14

      I'm going through the same thing. Take it one day at a time. We'll get through this. It's not easy but I know we'll find happiness again.

    • @teedachosenone6815
      @teedachosenone6815 2 роки тому +11

      @@a.k.walker7429 yall kids will understand your kids want you happy still gotta be careful though the mother might not let you see the kids anymore

    • @Armbarvictim
      @Armbarvictim 2 роки тому +19

      Leave man

    • @CrochetNewsNetwork
      @CrochetNewsNetwork 2 роки тому +10

      Leave. This type of problem is huge. She does NOT respect you and maybe doesn’t know how to love you. She is broken and the fix will take years if ever.
      Unless you are a committed Christian, MOVE ON.

    • @arturoescorcia
      @arturoescorcia 2 роки тому +7

      The only way she will respect you is by you actually leaving.
      You deserve to be happy alone or with someone that values you (whether it's her or someone else that's up to her) Leave and keep close to your kids, they will need their father in their lives.

  • @degrappenmakers6933
    @degrappenmakers6933 3 роки тому +66

    My girlfriend and I got together 2.5 years ago, we had a good sexual relationship together for around a year, she started experiencing pain during penetration when I would foreplay for half an hour, she went to the doctor and he said her pelvic floor was tightened, she developed a habit of getting scared whenever we would make out or cuddle. She’s currently under therapy for her traumatic youth mostly because of her mother and she has told her therapist about the fact that she gets scared and experienced pain during sex.
    I give her a lot of space and time to work on herself I’ve asked her plenty of times if I can do things differently but have stopped with that since nothing helps.. we haven’t had sex for a year and it’s gotten to the point where it starts to affect me and make me unhappy, she has so much to work on and I feel like I’m being put on hold but my feelings matter.. I feel like I’m stuck in a waiting situation till she feels better
    I’m only 20 years old and I don’t want all this trouble

    • @keanuleigh9834
      @keanuleigh9834 3 роки тому +34

      Ask yourself is her feelings for you genuine and real. If yes, stick by her. What happened to her was an injury, a bad situation in life. We must be strong men in these moments

    • @lucyheartfilia6559
      @lucyheartfilia6559 3 роки тому +13

      @@keanuleigh9834 more like you please, more diamonds like you

    • @degrappenmakers6933
      @degrappenmakers6933 3 роки тому +11

      @@lucyheartfilia6559 still standing strong! We are working on it

    • @bimbofication9659
      @bimbofication9659 3 роки тому +5

      De Grappenmakers thank you for respecting her and being so patient. You’re a good man and I hope everything between the two of you goes well!

    • @degrappenmakers6933
      @degrappenmakers6933 3 роки тому +10

      @@bimbofication9659 hey, we’re now 6 months later of writing this, she has an appointment in the hospital in 3 weeks where she will see a sexologist, we figured out her body is mostly reacting of out mental anguish, she will have to work on that and I told her I’m available to go with het and support her, I’m currently 20 years old and I have been in this situation for more than 2 years now, I care for her and that’s why I’m staying with my hopes up that the future with her will be better, but honestly I’m pretty unsatisfied in the relationship and I feel like I’m second place with all her problems, haven’t had real intimacy in 2 years

  • @kimberlyconcillado4572
    @kimberlyconcillado4572 3 роки тому +65

    I have been in a relationship with my current boyfriend for more than 1,5 year and I've caught myself being so uncomfortable, insecure and too scared to initiate sex with him now... I just really can't recognize myself and it has never happened to me before with my long term ex boyfriend i was together with for 3 years... But getting rejected so many times with my current bf, I guess it has lead me to where i am today and I am really hurt. We have tried to communicate about it and tried to do something but I don't know if we are just approaching it wrong.. two weeks ago he got drunk and talked openly about our sex life and how dissatisfied he was with me not initiating sex and it really irritated me because I felt like his rejections was the reason.. I just want it to work but i am just not so sure anymore

    • @shali86
      @shali86 3 роки тому +8

      Going through similar... I hope it gets better but feel like its a confidence battle.

    • @catmarie0119
      @catmarie0119 3 роки тому

      Can you add me on Insta @Cmiller0119 I am going through the same but for 7 years now and need more people to talk too about it. Good luck!

    • @bimbofication9659
      @bimbofication9659 3 роки тому +1

      Updates? I hope everything’s well now

    • @antoinelyons5323
      @antoinelyons5323 3 роки тому

      Cat Miller hopes it get better

    • @maopussycat7213
      @maopussycat7213 3 роки тому +2

      Same he reject me everyday ….

  • @Darvin-Hams-burner-account
    @Darvin-Hams-burner-account 3 роки тому +32

    She never initiates for sex and when I do, most times its a "no" which is draining. The few times she "initiates" shes either on her period or we can't do it

    • @orangeisthabest
      @orangeisthabest 2 роки тому +10

      Exactly wtf I’m dealing with, I can’t remember the last time my girl initiated sex, she do some stupid shit that subliminal and later say “well I was tryna flirt with you.” Shit so stupid I’m tired and drained

    • @HeavyHaul51
      @HeavyHaul51 2 роки тому +2

      When I try she says that Im bugging her and it pisses her off and we don't do it. On the other hand when I leave it up to her we have been intimate 3 times in the last 5 years.

    • @orangeisthabest
      @orangeisthabest 2 роки тому

      @@HeavyHaul51 you married bro?

    • @HeavyHaul51
      @HeavyHaul51 2 роки тому

      @@orangeisthabest almost 50 yrs

    • @dub3140
      @dub3140 2 роки тому

      @@orangeisthabest man foreal. It’s crazy

  • @dreamlesscoco
    @dreamlesscoco 2 роки тому +12

    My partner doesn't want to have sex with me. I have expressed what my sexual wants are. Evertime I do, he apologizes and then he goes back to the same thing. Ive expressed this to him severly times. I'm at the end of the road. I feel rejected and it truly hurts. When were dating he always showed that love. Now its like a chore [ or he'll say "I'm tired", and it truly hurts. I have thought about cheating. I don't know what to do anymore. We have been together 13 years and 2 kids later

    • @TomikaKelly
      @TomikaKelly Рік тому +2

      Sis, there are 8 BILLION people on this planet, aside from your husband, that you can choose to have sex with. If you're feeling unhappy and rejected then you have to take responsibility for your role and lack of actions in those feelings.

    • @dreamlesscoco
      @dreamlesscoco Рік тому

      @@TomikaKelly very true! Thank you

  • @joelrobinson2802
    @joelrobinson2802 2 роки тому +32

    Look, if the person your with doesn't initiate sex, they've LOST sexual attraction to you. End of story, get your body in shape and move on.

    • @whatareyoulookingat908
      @whatareyoulookingat908 2 роки тому +7

      Blunt but true. You can not be attracted for physical or mental reasons but the result is the same. Your statement summed up what takes therapists months or years to convey. Cheers.

    • @smokeyventage
      @smokeyventage 2 роки тому +4

      FACTS!

    • @mxp1514
      @mxp1514 2 роки тому

      So do i leave? If so that makes me sad simce ive been with her for 11 months

    • @mxp1514
      @mxp1514 2 роки тому +1

      Still with her, still hurts for her tho, shes going to go to the doctors to see what if its medical. She always starts crying or gets really annoyed if i suggest she isnt attracted to me and says she wouldnt have been with me this long if she didnt. At this point ive came to the conclusion theres nothing i can do but wait for the doctors results wish me luck boys

    • @mxp1514
      @mxp1514 2 роки тому

      She ended up breaking up with me last week for a different reason gutted

  • @pattihy
    @pattihy 4 роки тому +25

    It can be you, so you shouldn't promise couples that it isn't. Our issue was my weight. So it was me causing him not to initiate sex. I had gained alot of weight and my husband lost his sexual desire for me. He never cheated, never stopped loving me, enough so that he couldn't tell me it was my appearance, my weight all those years cause he didn't want to hurt me. I lost weight, worked on attracting him more, etc. and he found his sexual desire for me again after a long time. I finally asked him and he confessed that it was my weight, etc.. Its amazing how great life and sex is now.

    • @antoinelyons5323
      @antoinelyons5323 3 роки тому +6

      Glad it worked out for you

    • @augustrose3550
      @augustrose3550 3 роки тому +5

      Omg me too I just had a baby and I’m over weight and every time I wanna have sex my boyfriend never wants to. I asked him was it my weight he says no but I know it is. He never stopped loving me but it sucks that when I want sex he either says I’m tired or I’m not in the mood. My weight is the reason he doesn’t desire me

    • @antoinelyons5323
      @antoinelyons5323 3 роки тому +2

      August Rose hope that changes for you

    • @apeychan
      @apeychan 2 роки тому +3

      I'm sorry to hear but also can relate. My bf of 5 years stopped having sex with me because I gained weight and he wasn't attracted to me anymore.

    • @ApriliaRacer14
      @ApriliaRacer14 Рік тому

      Wow! Amazing story and your commitment to restoring what you once had. Amazing mature woman. Really wish there were more like you in this world…well in the western culture for sure. Todays messaging on fat acceptance is completely wrong on so many levels. Wish the very best to you both.

  • @Marvostips
    @Marvostips 3 роки тому +16

    I feel lonely. I'm actively looking for a new partner. Getting to know someone new is frightening though. I'm want to be done but I can't bare to handle breaking up.

    • @TrancEII2010
      @TrancEII2010 3 роки тому +5

      You need to give your current partner the chance to show how he/she feels. Really communicate what you want from the relationship...if he/she can't and/or isn't willing to provide that then you should strongly consider finding the courage to end it

  • @Saminoumatt
    @Saminoumatt 3 роки тому +74

    My partner only want sex when drunk or under the unfluence of alcohol. We sometimes spend a month with sex, there is no romance, no cuddling, it just like we are friends or roommates.
    When I spoke to it to our friends, my partner was not happy and said I will be punished if I keep sharing our bedroom matters, and this happened to us not having sex for 2 months. So at rhe end, although I want to initiate sex, I am scared of been rejected
    Everything I initiate sex, the answer I get is "Not Now", this really frustrating. Sorry to say, but I end up having an affair which I am not proud about

    • @saraperez3047
      @saraperez3047 3 роки тому +1

      How long did you guys go without being intimate until you cheated ?

    • @Saminoumatt
      @Saminoumatt 3 роки тому +1

      @@saraperez3047 3 months...

    • @saraperez3047
      @saraperez3047 3 роки тому +16

      @@Saminoumatt 3 months is a long time, but cheating is never acceptable. Women are different than men in that we need to feel loved, appreciated and wanted outside of the bedroom. Sex starts from the moment to wake up to the moment u fall asleep. By this, I mean, flirting, compliments, doing acts of kindness and so on.. are very important for the woman to feel loved, wanted and appreciated and these must be done constantly. If you are not loving her right, she is not going to be happy and ultimately, will not want to be intimate. Meet her needs. Communicate with her and ask her what u can do differently and don’t stop asking. She needs to constantly feel validated. Don’t give up on a woman u love and don’t ever cheat. I’m sorry but no one should cheat. It is important to grow and mature from this and learn that cheating isn’t the solution. The solution is to find the issue and work on it together as a couple.

    • @Saminoumatt
      @Saminoumatt 3 роки тому +2

      @@saraperez3047 thanks for the advice....

    • @saraperez3047
      @saraperez3047 3 роки тому +1

      @@Saminoumatt my pleasure-I’m sure you will be okay

  • @amandam9439
    @amandam9439 3 роки тому +12

    my relationship he wont touch me ive tried everything i tryied talking to him he dont touch me or kiss me like he used to im getting really depressed maybe once every 2 or 3 years im young i just dont no what to do anymore im just so frustrated i want physical connection an contact im lonely it just sucks

    • @John-kd4ef
      @John-kd4ef 3 роки тому +2

      Welcome to marriage. You should remain single. It holds a lot more happiness.

    • @antoinelyons5323
      @antoinelyons5323 3 роки тому

      Have tried therapy with him

  • @sammysam2615
    @sammysam2615 4 роки тому +36

    "Happy Wife, Happy Life" She's happy because her man is there, taking care of her, the house, chores/tasks, etc but why? Because she's having sex with him. Yet, our wants, needs, and desires are expected to be dismissed entirely while simultaneously expecting a man to prop her up as though she's some deity that's to be worshipped (not all women obviously) happiness is not a one way street but most women don't care and that's the problem. Men need to learn to let these women know that we are not bound to their expectations. This is the perfect quote to sum up what men need to do
    "Don't ever allow yourself to get a attached to something you're not willing to walk away from in 30 seconds when you feel the heat around the corner"
    Your happiness must be paramount, not negotiable

    • @siyabongamdlalose2804
      @siyabongamdlalose2804 4 роки тому +1

      Thanks you

    • @do_deeez3407
      @do_deeez3407 3 роки тому

      I wish I could like your comment a hundred times

    • @John-kd4ef
      @John-kd4ef 3 роки тому +5

      Excellent point. Woman, in general, are too high maintenance and are not worth the time or effort if it compromises our happiness in the bargain. Better to remain single and have a much more simple, well-adjusted life without her.

    • @hoop-djonez8669
      @hoop-djonez8669 3 роки тому +1

      DeNiro love it bro

    • @tinyshepherdess7710
      @tinyshepherdess7710 2 роки тому

      I'm really glad you said "not all women, obviously". Marriage should be give and take, negotiation and compromise. Neither partner deserves more happiness than the other and neither partner should have to give up their happiness to please the other.

  • @con2mms2000
    @con2mms2000 4 роки тому +26

    She never did. Literally never. But she kept complaining about wanting me to do it. Fighting all the time about it. Ones I just didn't do shit to see what happens. Nothing happens. I got tired of her and discarded. Not only for the sex thing, but it was a big issue for me.

    • @ToddCreager
      @ToddCreager  4 роки тому +11

      It is painful Marcos. I of course am not sure what her blocks were to initiate but it is painful to be in your shoes.

    • @nato9157
      @nato9157 3 роки тому +2

      Man I'm not alone then

    • @brianna3239
      @brianna3239 2 роки тому +1

      It’s so Sad, You men will do anything to say “you tried” and yet all a woman wants is for you to truly want her and the desire in that itself is beautiful, she won’t be able to hold back. It’s not because she wants to make it about her only but because in her seeing you be enlightened by her makes her want to give you alll the pleasure

    • @con2mms2000
      @con2mms2000 2 роки тому +1

      @@brianna3239 Is not sad at all :D Is just women thinks we always have to truly love them just because. Just read yourself. That's not how it works. We don't have to truly want you just because you want to. That´s not something that just happens by default.

    • @brianna3239
      @brianna3239 2 роки тому

      @@con2mms2000 I think you took my comment as women thinking you always have to “want” us lol Yes I am sad for you. I have an awesome relationship with my man because we understand masculine and feminine polarity. And yes I feel sad for people who can’t grasp the simplicity of it and how it can create strength and intimacy in a relationship. but good luck dude.

  • @chaiannejones3950
    @chaiannejones3950 3 роки тому +26

    Lol imagine asking someone these questions.. and all they say is idk to everything. Lmfao smh.

    • @rafidavis888
      @rafidavis888 3 роки тому +4

      My gf when I ask her anything simple lmao

    • @bigmoney2674
      @bigmoney2674 3 роки тому +1

      @@rafidavis888 that my friend is a girl you don’t want to waste time with

    • @raesmixtape8970
      @raesmixtape8970 2 роки тому

      Literally my bf last night. I don’t understand why he gets so mad when I ask him why he doesn’t want anything sexual with me. He just got mad and kept yelling idk. I just want fucked. How tf hard is it

  • @sandrahollett2299
    @sandrahollett2299 3 роки тому +21

    I think I’m getting resentful of my boyfriend for only doing sex the way he wants on his terms, and he gets upset with me if I’m not in the mood. What should I do? I used to really enjoy sex

  • @P83-o2k
    @P83-o2k 2 роки тому +7

    10 years married. 5 years no sex what is this life u have settled for. I am a different person now I'm angry all the time, I have no self esteem and its literally destroying me. I try so much I help around house I do so much with kids.

  • @rwethealtman
    @rwethealtman 2 роки тому +6

    I love this story! With me and my ex though… It was sort of about him in that he often demeaned me and put me down. I just lost my desire to be sexual with him. Eventually I learned to draw boundaries and just walk away from him, so I got happier and stronger, but he just wouldn’t stop picking on me. We split up. But it’s ok. We had grown to be way too different.

  • @caramri6089
    @caramri6089 3 роки тому +33

    I am kinda frustrated, i am a very sexual Person and i like sex a lot and i wanna have sex a lot but my boyfriend doesn't. I talked to him about that and he said i should just start. But it feels so wrong, if he is not feeling it i don't wanna make him. I just want him to want me. And i am kinda scared that i might get addicted to sex.. Because 3 times a week is like not enough for me. I am trying nit to pressure my boyfriend and i asked him if anything is wrong and if i am pressuring him he said no. I don't what to do

    • @jaquanellis543
      @jaquanellis543 3 роки тому +12

      I feel you. I am going through this right now. My boyfriend won’t initiate, he won’t have sex nearly enough for me. In the past I usually had sex 3 times a week. With him we started off good and then all of a sudden he says he doesn’t need sex.he’s not a sexually person, but then I’ve caught him multiple times masturbating. Would you rather do that then had actual intimate sex with me? How should I feel. So we talked and I explained and we agreed on once a week. “I’m” the one sacrificing here and a month later still no sex and he tells me once a month. At this point I’m frustrated, I just want to cry because I just don’t know what to do. I love him. Other then the lack of sex he’s perfect but I can’t live like this. So we talked last night and he tells me he’s not happy with his body. He’s insecure about the weight he’s gained. Barely any. I always explain to him how much I love his body and I’m always loving on him. Rubbing him etc... and I understand he’s not happy with himself but at the same time where does that leave me at the end of the day? What am I supposed to do? Because masturbation is not it for me. I’m stressed out, and I don’t know what to do. He doesn’t see or understand how I feel and thinks me waiting and only having sex when it’s convenient for hiM is okay. And that maybe once a month “only” if I initiate. I just can’t do it anymore. This is a good relationship but no sex? And he thinks that’s okay.

    • @vikkile1902
      @vikkile1902 3 роки тому +1

      @@jaquanellis543 same here!!we went to couple therapy and we will see how will work out for us!!i love him but he doesn’t want sex as much as i want!hmm very difficult one..might try the couple therapy,and you can decide if u want to be in the relationship..

    • @fugetabouit6591
      @fugetabouit6591 3 роки тому +3

      Wow all of you have a sex addiction...depends if your in your early 20s or something, but listen men from experience dont need to have sex all the time...we have when we really are in the mood and not be a sex maniac. Relax and calm down your needs of needing to have sex every day girls. Yes it feels good, but we just want to chill p

    • @caramri6089
      @caramri6089 3 роки тому

      @@jaquanellis543 wow girl i am sorry, i hope it got better. I talked with my boyfriend, and he said that he would like me to do more because he feels like he is doing all the work, and that he can't really enjoy his orgasm because he has to hold it back till i come. After that conversation we had way more sex. For example he went down on me and finished me and then i got on top of him so he could just come and enjoy it no pressure.

    • @str8xrippin
      @str8xrippin 3 роки тому +2

      @@caramri6089 I wish you were my girlfriend

  • @rachelsaez3718
    @rachelsaez3718 2 роки тому +2

    The Amazon truck guy, the mail, Ups, and fedex guy looks really good.

  • @z-greatwhatever1586
    @z-greatwhatever1586 3 роки тому +10

    I can’t even get a hug

  • @longlivedabosslady7420
    @longlivedabosslady7420 3 роки тому +7

    My boyfriend of 3 months doesn’t want to have sex. He claims he’s scared of me getting sick after… here I am extremely juicy b4 and after my period.. and still waiting to be touched. He doesn’t come around much because of his fear of me wanting him.. in a matter of couple days I’ll be undergoing a procedure and will not be up to mark until Christmas time. I know he’s happy for this procedure more than me.🤦🏾‍♀️
    I’m not use to being turned down.. not much partners in my life, but just weird being turned down. For a woman it plays with her physique. It makes us feel like we aren’t good enough…

    • @joelrobinson2802
      @joelrobinson2802 2 роки тому +1

      You are pathetic, your boyfriend has no desire to be with you sexually.

    • @longlivedabosslady7420
      @longlivedabosslady7420 2 роки тому +4

      @@joelrobinson2802 wow you’re a man calling a woman pathetic.. because she shares her feelings.. It shows what type of man you are…

    • @HeywoodJablowme-d4t
      @HeywoodJablowme-d4t 2 місяці тому

      He’s gay

  • @iamtoebeans6681
    @iamtoebeans6681 2 роки тому +6

    My partner and I have been together on and off for around a year and a half. I stopped initiating sex because they don’t shower consistently due to mental health issues. It makes me feel bad for standing firm on my boundaries because I feel like I’m calling them stinky and disgusting. I’ve always had good hygiene apart of my basic desires in a partner. I don’t know what to do, I found out about them not washing properly or regularly because of the reoccurring STIs I started getting. I wish they were more honest with me.

    • @mannyrodriguez3933
      @mannyrodriguez3933 2 роки тому +3

      You have nothing to be ashamed of, any partner who doesn’t shower on a weekly basis is just… lazy. That’s laziness. Especially if you tell that person that you won’t have sex until they clean themselves. You’re just wanting a clean intimate time. Nothing wrong with that. I can’t stand when my wife won’t shower. And trust me, she has moments where whole weeks go by without a shower and I love her to death but it’s not always attractive. So don’t feel bad. They need to take care of themselves.

    • @Rockygymmotivation
      @Rockygymmotivation 9 місяців тому +1

      How many partners do you have “they” ??

    • @srdfb2260
      @srdfb2260 7 місяців тому

      ​@@Rockygymmotivation wanting to be called "they" and mental health problems go hand in hand

  • @presleyvasquez5000
    @presleyvasquez5000 4 роки тому +15

    This is a problem for me as a pregnant lady 😓

    • @thejunior9303
      @thejunior9303 4 роки тому

      This was great, I have been researching "my husband doesn't want to sleep with me" for a while now, and I think this has helped. Have you heard people talk about - Bonuhappad Intellectual Blaster - (should be on google have a look ) ? It is a smashing exclusive product for discovering how to understand what your husband wishes you knew about him without the hard work. Ive heard some great things about it and my neighbour got great success with it.

    • @antoinelyons5323
      @antoinelyons5323 3 роки тому

      Is it on his behalf or yours

    • @presleyvasquez5000
      @presleyvasquez5000 3 роки тому

      @@antoinelyons5323 when I was pregnant I wanted to have sex a lot and he didnt want to as much as he used to. I already gave birth and now it’s back to him wanting it more than me lol

    • @antoinelyons5323
      @antoinelyons5323 3 роки тому

      Presley Vasquez ok hope it balance out for you but we all need loving pregnant and all

  • @Giltorres88
    @Giltorres88 3 роки тому +8

    Oh yea Dr. Know it all...how about the wife doesn't communicate...thw wife doesn't try...the wife doesn't make an effort...smh...I'm done with this understanding shit. I tried being there for her...but all she does avoid...I can't take it anymore...I'm seriously considering divorce...I don't feel wanted in this damn relationship....I'm fed up already...2 years and she never initiates....I'm done...

  • @wildlovesould
    @wildlovesould 2 місяці тому +1

    So here is the thing. When we first married we would do it up to 3 times a day. After a couple months, it wourld be once every day and stayed that way until our first born.
    With one child it went to 3 times a week, with the 2nd stayed kind of the same. After 3rd kid, me getting hypothyroidism and life, it went down to maybe twice a wk. And he started complaining because he wants every day. After 4th kids we're lucky once a week. He gets mad because i don't initiate (junp over him) when i do I'm very subtle. My drive is not like his, i have to much on my plate, but i love him and like him very much.
    What can i do?

    • @ToddCreager
      @ToddCreager  2 місяці тому

      There is a lot going on through the years with you. It sounds like there are energy factors, thyroid factors and maybe other factors as well. A good marriage/sex therapist such as myself may be helpful. He would need to have or develop some sensitivity/empathy for your situation and then from a place of understanding, maybe there could be some solutions. Maybe- increased self-care on your part and understanding on his part would be good first steps.

  • @iriac4977
    @iriac4977 2 роки тому +10

    I love your solution but what if the person doesn't communicate or reject the conversation or even makes an argument about it? What are we suppose to do ?

    • @whatareyoulookingat908
      @whatareyoulookingat908 2 роки тому

      I can give you my perspective. My skin crawls and I developed a physical aversion to my wife. She us beautiful, sweet, moral, and giving. But.... she is also uncompromising, OCD, controlling, and gas been physically intimidating early on and hit me once. She's great 95 percent of the time but fir so long I'd hear a loud whining sound and my heart would sink and I'd feel a wave if dread knowing I was about to get an earful. I should feel relaxed and secure at home... not walking on eggshells trying all the time for the motivation of not getting yelled at. With that underlying fear, I began to resent her. I definitely definitely didn't feel vulnerable enough to perform. So for every while fest she gave ne... I'd tack on another month of rejection. Fast firward.. we've been sexless for 22 of 24 years now. I had thought she'd be smart enough to change her attitude since the direct approach only led her to argue and not compromise. I now view her as a friend and co-parent. If I stay I'll be miserable and dame if I go.

    • @cre8ivjay
      @cre8ivjay 2 роки тому

      You nailed it. The communication idea is basic building blocks. I know couples where this is a thing. In mine, it's more complicated. I have tried countless times. She gets angry and upset regardless of how I approach it (she would never bring this up), and then we are right back to neither of us wanting to bring it up. She has suffered PTSD and sees my attempts to discuss as pressure, which is clearly not the desired outcome, but what else can you do?! We have seen many therapists. Advice is all over the map. If you can find a therapist who puts up with no BS from either one of you, knows their stuff, and is aware that this process cannot take years, you've found a good one!

  • @BeardGawd88
    @BeardGawd88 3 роки тому +29

    This is why men should just have multiple women because when stuff like this happens we're just supposed to deal with it. Idc who you are, if your woman isn't giving you sex you'll find it from someone else.

    • @brisalinas6713
      @brisalinas6713 3 роки тому +8

      In my case my man never touches me without being promoted and even turns me down more than I feel is normal. I haven't let myself go or turned into a mega bitch so idk and he won't talk to me about anything.

    • @ishaansrivastava6235
      @ishaansrivastava6235 3 роки тому +5

      The guilt of cheating kills from inside dude🙂

    • @MkNasty911
      @MkNasty911 3 роки тому +9

      Exactly, if you talk about it they shame you 'you just want sex'. Heard it all before, then they arent happy when you find someone who is happy to be intimate. Women are the first to leave a relationship when they dont get attention but are shocked when they withold sex and their man finds someone new

    • @chaiannejones3950
      @chaiannejones3950 3 роки тому +14

      So us women with men that dont initiate or have sex should also have multiple men?

    • @MkNasty911
      @MkNasty911 3 роки тому +11

      @@chaiannejones3950 if your partner refuses to be intimate then yeah you should lol and tbh most of you do anyway

  • @bevbailey5847
    @bevbailey5847 2 роки тому +2

    I would say you’re incorrect. It doesn’t have anything to do with me, it has to do with past events with him during our marriage. Giving chances over and over but nothing changes. Saying it has nothing to do with the person you’re not wanting to have sex with, is entirely too generalized.

  • @thankfulandgrateful5129
    @thankfulandgrateful5129 3 роки тому +2

    Great video but I’m being blamed for him not wanting to get me intimate with me, he saids I irritate him and how do you advise that’s resolved? I’ve tried talking to him and he mentioned a few examples when I irritated him and it put him off me for the rest of that day and days after that

  • @KpxUrz5745
    @KpxUrz5745 3 роки тому +8

    Sorry but I found this advice completely useless. It presupposes that both partners actually would like to have sex if they can understand and remove some mental barriers. Far more common is that one of the partners has zero desire to have sex, and/or some deepseated resentments that can never be overcome. It also presupposes that both are actually capable of having meaningful talks to try to improve the relationship. These kinds of presumptions are exactly why I have little belief that therapists are helpful.

    • @ToddCreager
      @ToddCreager  3 роки тому +6

      One thing we agree on- therapists are completely useless when partners are not willing to learn how to have meaningful talks. If they are just wanting to continue the same old reactionary game, there is nothing a therapist can do. I am pretty good at motivating the unmotivated though and when that happens, my client(s) and I make a phenomenal team.

  • @mssinclair5601
    @mssinclair5601 2 роки тому +4

    My man hasn’t had sex with me in 4 years, we have actually had sex a few times maybe like 8 times in 4 years. He has always given me excuses, like his knee hurts, his back hurts, he’s tired or sometimes has even put it on me like I was drunk (which is extremely rare). He doesn’t even work in the same city therefore he spends months in another state and when I went to visit him he still hasn’t touched me. I’ve asked a million times why! He always avoided the question amd only said it will get better. I know he loves sex, I’ve seen him dirty texting other women. I honestly think he’s not into me, he just loves me as a sister and he loves to have something new. We used to have sex all the time the first 5 months into the relationship then slowly it went away. I don’t go to him, I do t try to initiate because he has rejected me twice amd o don’t want to be rejected again.
    I’ve told him to leave me alone and set me free but he won’t do it. He keeps saying that it will get better like it used to but after waiting 4 years I lost hope.

    • @ccouture2302
      @ccouture2302 2 роки тому +5

      I am almost 15 years in. I married at 21 and am almost 35. I know how your feeling I have been so lonely for years. It is like your roommates not lovers anymore. Now I have you g children as well and I just try to put a smile on and push through but what is life without the true feeling of being loved? 😢

    • @joleneguerrero4794
      @joleneguerrero4794 2 роки тому +5

      I feel ur pain ladies... I've been with my boyfriend for 12 years. We're not even married yet but we have 3 kids. We used to have sex all the time in the beginning.... now he hardly every touches me. I do want sex and I want the nasty nasty sex but nothing.... He's always drinking and always gives me excuses for why we cant have sex. I'm getting so tired of feeling ugly and unwanted. I don't feel beautiful anymore. He always rejects me and I just want him to love me like he used to 😔

    • @CrochetNewsNetwork
      @CrochetNewsNetwork 2 роки тому +2

      He is NOT in to you period. You must set yourself free.
      He is using you for his ego.
      Please MOVE ON.

    • @vivaeuropa
      @vivaeuropa 2 роки тому

      @@joleneguerrero4794 Take him to church and get prayer for your sex life

    • @ApriliaRacer14
      @ApriliaRacer14 Рік тому

      Is there a weight or appearance issue? The fact he is sexting people is pretty serious and a validation he mentally and emotionally checked out. For your own self respect may be time to move on.

  • @melp5879
    @melp5879 2 роки тому

    My bf is like this, unlike he broke up with me and told me he doesn't love me and he is bisexual. We were almost 7 yrs together.

  • @TheDlockett1
    @TheDlockett1 3 роки тому +9

    I’ve gotten to the point where I’m fighting these demons in my sleep I know it’s hot girl summer and I’m receiving more texts that I ignore from old flings. I love my girlfriend but I’m literally at war with my hormones and feelings in my sleep trying to stay loyal. I woke up after getting chased by women and held my girl until I fell asleep but nothing is changing, she even says she doesn’t know when she will be in the mood.

    • @ToddCreager
      @ToddCreager  3 роки тому +5

      That is difficult Dee. Sometimes relationship counseling is the best way out of being stuck.

  • @marvinjohnson8342
    @marvinjohnson8342 3 роки тому +9

    I think I tried everything.

  • @princessjudii
    @princessjudii 2 роки тому +8

    I wish you would talk more about women that have low desire to have sex.
    I could literally stay a whole year without feeling the urge to have sex.
    If I didn’t have a boyfriend I don’t even think I will be having sex😂
    But I feel bad. I’ve been with my boyfriend for over a year now and he mostly wants sex and I Hardly have the desire to have sex so it just ends up being awkward sometimes. And a part of me feels like he might cheat on me because of it. Lol I don’t even know if I’d get a solution, it just feels good to kinda say this out in the open. I want to make him happy but at the same time I don’t want to be faking it to make him happy you get?
    I want it to be a mutual feeling between us.

    • @LetsGetHighOnMorris
      @LetsGetHighOnMorris 2 роки тому +1

      I absolutely love my new girlfriend and part of the relationship growing stronger is about remaining intimate. After only a month in a half she doesn’t try to kiss me. And I’m feeling that because it’s early enough, I’m questioning whether or not it’s right for me to leave. I could never cheat but the lack of intimacy is making me feel unwanted sexually. And I want sex way more than her. She even told me once “you don’t need sex” ouch. She’s meeting my parents today and I just feel that I’m so close to leaving.
      I’m sorry girl but he could totally leave you and you may not see it coming. This isn’t a call to be worried; just observe what it is you’re not doing. Are you not kissing him when you first see him? Like someone else said in the comment section, sex beings when you wake up and before you sleep. It’s the little things.

    • @sl4lnate518
      @sl4lnate518 2 роки тому

      then be alone.. no nigga has time for that.

    • @YWMTyler
      @YWMTyler 2 роки тому

      Has it always been this way with him? Or were you more crazy about it in the beginning?

  • @GardensoftheAncientsHerbal
    @GardensoftheAncientsHerbal 3 роки тому +8

    The issue is once something is said the other just lacks at making a change. People need to start saying to actually just do it. Quit being a lil child about. Work it out and try. Yes women reach over every week and just massage him and TRY DIFFERENT THINGS IF ONE DOESN'T WORK. SERIOUSLY... the issue is this head in the sand mentality. No men don't like it, women don't either.

  • @candytiger644
    @candytiger644 2 роки тому +3

    So.. I am probably too fat, too ugly, too scarred, too small boobs, and not enough to arouse him... I always initiate but he reject me, and he never initiates.

  • @oambitiousone7100
    @oambitiousone7100 Рік тому

    It’s that it never does anything for me. Can never finish.
    So it’s always disappointing.

  • @officialjdukes5327
    @officialjdukes5327 2 роки тому +5

    She s been making me feel unwanted or like im disgusting

  • @Gypsymumma90
    @Gypsymumma90 3 роки тому +1

    I think its crazy how I found out my ex ask where condoms are in the store and it makes me wonder all this time they weren't interested in me ..I was with them almost 5 years and they never really initiated sex with me 😫 ...then when we arnt together he then is preparing to have sex with a girl he never met. It's not my business anymore more what he does but its really a shocker when he asked me.

  • @BigViewership
    @BigViewership Рік тому +4

    Women need love, attention, protection. Men need sex and respect. Although it does no come naturally to either side, we work together to hold up our end. Don’t give advice against this

    • @TomikaKelly
      @TomikaKelly Рік тому +1

      Crazy theory, but as it turns out, women also need sex and respect and men also need love, attention, and protection. 🫠

  • @lowfadeSolo
    @lowfadeSolo 2 роки тому +1

    Imagine your sex life not getting better until your 60.

  • @elizabethleevaldez2437
    @elizabethleevaldez2437 2 роки тому +1

    Me an my ex husband has been living together since 2009! So for 13 year's no sex. We got together to raise our grandkids. So now one grandchild graduated from school. We still got another grandchild in high school. Next year will be her last year in school. But lately I feel like what we do next. I just can't believe a man would not be sexual. So in my thoughts I do believe he is out there having sex. As for me I had an accident and I'm handicap/ disabled. I gain a lot of weight. So now I want to move forward with sex and love. But for him I get no affection, no encouragement that he wants me. So I still want sex and love but if he doesn't want to. I want it. So what to do next? Prior to us living together. I didn't have sex for awhile. So it has been 18 years to 20 years of not having sex. I just can't remember the actual year since it's has been that long.

    • @vivaeuropa
      @vivaeuropa 2 роки тому

      Women do exaggerate on how much men want sex I believe. Many men if they work a demanding job will have a low sex drive. Plus men usually start to lose their sex drive before women. Idk if you believe in Jesus but you can take him to church and get prayer for your sex life

  • @lewiscole4962
    @lewiscole4962 3 роки тому +12

    Time to move on.

  • @KkEN48
    @KkEN48 10 місяців тому

    My bf and i are in long distance relationship for almost 3 years now. When we saw each other we slept in same bed, we kiss we hugs but he never initiate sex so i tried to initiate but when we about to do it he said i cant do it. I am confused why mot. Then he runs to wash when i kiss his body. I started to feel bad so i stop trying. He wakes up early just to be on his tablet. Omg

    • @ToddCreager
      @ToddCreager  9 місяців тому

      There is a reason for your bf's behavior and it is not about you. There needs to be some self-reflection and discovery on his part to see why he protects himself from something by avoiding the sex.

  • @matty8272
    @matty8272 2 роки тому +1

    My wife hardly ever does and I'm more than happy with that. Sex is completely pointless. It doesn't feel good. It doesn't make me feel anything except like I wasted my energy. If sex or lack of it makes you feel bad your life must suck.

  • @YouwalkereTube
    @YouwalkereTube Рік тому

    Yes it is about him!

  • @reillyuno9549
    @reillyuno9549 3 роки тому +1

    Without going into detail, I have been living this nightmare and she’s currently wanted to have another kid ! Lol are you fucking crazy !

  • @rebeccaabel4589
    @rebeccaabel4589 2 роки тому

    What about when your spouse initiate sex and while you are being intimate he/ she talks about another person.

    • @scuba6797
      @scuba6797 2 роки тому +1

      Red Flag, leave!

  • @JosephineTobey-j6l
    @JosephineTobey-j6l Рік тому +1

    My partner and I have been together now for 3 months but only have sex like twice , l do everything to turn him on but yet he refused me , what can I do

    • @ToddCreager
      @ToddCreager  9 місяців тому

      You need to go to some kind of couples/sex therapy. Your partner needs to face whatever he or she is running from.

  • @aqualane1
    @aqualane1 2 роки тому +3

    In my experience women lose interest in sex after 3-4 years. I’m not sure monogamy is natural.

    • @lucatkinson
      @lucatkinson 2 роки тому

      I don’t think it is it’s just pressure from society. We are animals that are supposed to sow our seeds but society tells us differently.
      We live in a world of of man made illusion to control society.
      When you just think of us as animals and the only thing real is sunrise and sunset it all kinda makes sense the brainwashing we receive from birth. It’s just whether you are alert to it or not.
      The slave system.
      Most of society is completely brainwashed. Starts with Disney movies it’s everywhere.

    • @TomikaKelly
      @TomikaKelly Рік тому

      If this is your experience it's because you're doing several things wrong. I've been a woman my entire life and I can assure you women DONT lose interest in sex after a few years unless there is a reason for her to lose interest.

    • @pauldirc..
      @pauldirc.. 7 місяців тому

      ​@@TomikaKellycan you list the reason why women loose intrest

  • @sam6045
    @sam6045 7 місяців тому +1

    Leave her.
    She would do everything you dreamed of with another guy but never with you.
    She isn't attracted to you anymore and you can't ever fix her.
    Get out while you can.

  • @navarrogenn
    @navarrogenn 2 роки тому

    I’m the one who doesn’t want to have sex anymore. Can we speak about that.

    • @livlight9762
      @livlight9762 2 роки тому

      What is the reason for this? Do you have a pain in your body or too much stress? Or other?

  • @lisasmith1798
    @lisasmith1798 3 роки тому +1

    Wow I’m single but if I ever get married I’ll call you for a session

  • @edenevermore
    @edenevermore Рік тому

    My guy is no longer interested in sex or me in general after only 5 years of being together. I feel he may be having an affair as well. This sucks

  • @gracievlogs2862
    @gracievlogs2862 3 роки тому +2

    My husband and I have the same problem about that because we have a lot of problems that he can't focus to think about sex..
    That's why sometimes I'm so feel frustrated if I feel want to sex i hold it until I forgot the sex..
    It's difficult for me but as his wife I need to understand him. 😞
    We have 21yrs gap of age I'm 33 and he's 54.
    What should I do for this kind of problem..😞

    • @ToddCreager
      @ToddCreager  3 роки тому

      Hi Gracie,
      Sorry for the slow response. That is an important question and probably I would need to know more in order to help. Feel free to reach out at todd@toddcreager.com.

    • @JitendraSingh-ut3vj
      @JitendraSingh-ut3vj 3 роки тому +2

      😂😂😂age does not matter

  • @canadiankiss5901
    @canadiankiss5901 2 роки тому

    My husband and I have not had sex at least 3 years. I ALWAYS initiated sex. Now I've gained weight so my self confidence has changed. But even before that he's a big guy 6"4 300 lbs he's a weight lifter. He can loose his erection unless I'm on top I just got so over being the one to initiate sex and having to always be on top. So I just stopped n even moved into my living room. He doesn't cheat on me we love each other. When I even mention our sex life he acts like it's perfectly fine and he won't engage in the conversation. If I mention anything he takes it like I'm complaining instead of I'm trying to tell him I think it's important. He's always been a pretty selfish lover but at least we cuddled n I miss that connection but I'm so not in the mood to deal with it. Very frustrating situation and if he cheats on me I will leave him.

    • @vivaeuropa
      @vivaeuropa 2 роки тому

      Why not go back to initiating since it was working better than before. Also try going to church and getting prayer for your sex life

    • @TomikaKelly
      @TomikaKelly Рік тому

      You can gain weight and STILL be confident.
      Your sex life has always had problems. It's time to find someone else.

  • @jeffmills8269
    @jeffmills8269 Місяць тому

    My wife has Alzheimer’s and has no desires. I have to initiate everything and I feel like it’s an obligation and she can say things that are hurtful. It’s not worth it but I need it

    • @Sredd
      @Sredd Місяць тому +1

      That doesn’t sound right!!! She cannot consent. She has Alzheimer’s , you said she has no desires…. Seriously leave her alone .

    • @jeffmills8269
      @jeffmills8269 Місяць тому

      @@Sredd Can you understand “F U”? You can’t possibly understand!

  • @suuuuuuu19
    @suuuuuuu19 2 роки тому

    Ok but I didn't sign a marriage papers to not having sex through my life, nothing to do with me, why she doesn't take action to heal herself then? Is it like if you show more love towards partner, the less sex you will have!

  • @kefilwesalaminah6875
    @kefilwesalaminah6875 Рік тому

    I've been with my partner for 7 months n the 1st month we both had a high sex drive.the 5 months passing I've initiated so many times but no luck..he says he doesn't no nor understands Wats happening with his sex drive..so I'm tired of waiting on him.im only human n have needs ..so I really don't understand Wats his problem

  • @kyraocity
    @kyraocity 2 роки тому

    Focus on connection not performance applies to all anxieties, it seems. Sex. Relationship. Writing.

  • @tenekatravers7830
    @tenekatravers7830 3 роки тому +2

    What is your emails address please? I don’t feel comfortable expressing the Seahawks of my issue on here

    • @ToddCreager
      @ToddCreager  3 роки тому

      todd@toddcreager.com; I assume you meant to write 'specifics' and not Seahawks.

  • @isaiahwoodbury5205
    @isaiahwoodbury5205 3 роки тому

    THANK YOU

  • @karencamposc.1153
    @karencamposc.1153 Рік тому

    im a loving person, but i Guess i will try to not iniciate and wait to see when he iniciates.

  • @Meursault_1111
    @Meursault_1111 4 місяці тому

    Sadly far too often, when it’s a male initiator (who’s not making an unreasonable amount of advances), and a female rejecting, its written off as men being too horny or always wanting sex. This really exponentiates the shame the man is feeling.

    • @ToddCreager
      @ToddCreager  4 місяці тому

      That does happen and of course, desiring to have sex with one’s partner is not only a healthy impulse but one that should be validated as much as possible. Two partners will not be the same in many areas, including their sexual desire or even what turns them on. The secret, of course, is for each person to appreciate each other’s differences and to do their best to meet each other’s needs, including that of sexual intimacy.

  • @more2me100
    @more2me100 Рік тому +1

    My boyfriend is just lazy! 🤷🏽‍♀️

  • @hollywood7775
    @hollywood7775 2 роки тому +1

    Sound nice just won’t work with me

  • @Nealeffort
    @Nealeffort 10 місяців тому

    thank u 🙏🏾

  • @peterreed736
    @peterreed736 2 роки тому +1

    Sex is so pointless, boring and tedious. My wife doesn't understand how any man can't enjoy sex. I'd rather sleep than have sex.

  • @gregoryhoover1622
    @gregoryhoover1622 2 роки тому +2

    I've been with my wife 20+ years we met when we were 12 she was 14 and it's a process we definitely have had our ups and downs but In 20 years experience it's just love it conquers all 3 kids later we have our flaws but we love each other and she does give me sucky time lol

  • @reillyuno9549
    @reillyuno9549 3 роки тому +2

    Her word I don’t wanna kiss you because me as the male will want to have sex , well wtf 🤬, what should I want . Plus she said we are to old to have sex we are 32 years old . Plus I can’t even talk to her without ending up in a fight ! Which in my book say ,, another guy ! Anyway , I’m bigger then that I don’t ask her shit like that I don’t check her phone she can go and come as she please , but she check my phone and swear up down i cheated on her lol 😂 yyyyyyyyyyyyyy me

  • @sockitime
    @sockitime 6 місяців тому

    I’m not gonna talk about it from the partners point of view that is not initiating sex so you give me a point of view that both aren’t initiating sex thank you for not helping but just confusing

  • @AMMAR1ALHAFIDH82
    @AMMAR1ALHAFIDH82 3 роки тому +1

    man give example where the woman who doesnt want sex ..

  • @penguin2362
    @penguin2362 2 роки тому +1

    sex is not everything. But there has to be something wrong here 😞.

  • @2036livy
    @2036livy 2 роки тому

    You're wrong. It's absolutely him and why my skin crawls when he looks or touches me

  • @dcasamoah
    @dcasamoah 2 роки тому +10

    Men think of this. Imagine a woman that is not demanding, that doesn’t want emotional attention or affection. You would think she doesn’t need or want you.
    Men, we get creative and innovative when we chase the girl but relax when we have her. The reality is that the girl will always need to be chased even in a LFT in order to keep the man active and not distracted by the temptations of this world.
    MEN KEEP CHASING FOREVER, THE RETURNS FROM A HAPPY WOMAN IS GREATER THAN GETTING INITIATED

    • @brianna3239
      @brianna3239 2 роки тому

      Please give men of this generation more advice. They are turning into wuss’s and claim they are reclaiming thier manhood or preserving it. y renaming single and fucking who they want. Men like to believe they don’t need a woman’s touch, presence and words of encouragement. Some women these day can be entitled but what about the ones who are great and good in their hearts

  • @HeywoodJablowme-d4t
    @HeywoodJablowme-d4t 2 місяці тому

    I’m not a light switch…..ok leave the switch off forever. Roommates suck

  • @tomwilson9289
    @tomwilson9289 3 роки тому

    Here’s a wierd one my misses hints for sex sends me photos and texts but when I go and inniate she’s not in the mood o think she gets off on it

  • @dinakuryaeva
    @dinakuryaeva Рік тому

    Honestly, I have such a problem in my life. I’m 21, and my boyfriend is 25. We are in relationships for 2 years. In the beginning of our relationships we had sex more than 3 times a week. But now (after 2 years) we have only 3 times a month.
    It’s so hurts me, I always want sex, want to feel his love, that he really wants me, this is like some spiritual connection.
    I’m very positive girl with open mind (I like to try something new in my life and bed: games, role plays, lingerie, etc.). But when I am trying to turn on my partner, he rejects.
    He says something like: “I don’t want it now”, “you don’t excite me”, “I can’t” and other excuses.
    And even my detachment doesn’t work.
    What about me: I’m tall, beautiful, sporty girl, I always take care of myself, of the house. Wear trendy and sexual clothes, and sometimes cute and casual apparel. I’m not the person of the one side. I have hobbies, friends, meetings with my friends company, I’m really into writing books and taking videos.
    I don’t know what to do.
    And other reason that I feel that I’m not beautiful and unwanted is his habit to watch other girls on the streets/on the internet. And several times I caught him masturbating while watching p*rn videos.
    Okay, you choose other (NOT REAL GIRLS), but why you just leave me with a broken heart.
    I’ve talked with him about that situation, he was saying only “I need more time”, “This is my problem” and etc.
    I don’t know what to do, because in other areas of our relationships he’s good: patient, kind, warm person, gentle and caring.

    • @TP-vu3tc
      @TP-vu3tc Рік тому

      Your problem is pre-marital sex

    • @TomikaKelly
      @TomikaKelly Рік тому

      There are 8 BILLION OTHER people on this planet that you can have sex with if your partner isn't interested. I truly don't see what the issue is here. 🤷‍♀️

    • @pauldirc..
      @pauldirc.. 7 місяців тому

      How is situation now and How tall is your boyfriend

  • @kraceynuemann8533
    @kraceynuemann8533 2 роки тому

    I'm not insecure.

  • @theaccountant838
    @theaccountant838 2 роки тому

    So true only 2 mins in

  • @Lydxan
    @Lydxan 10 місяців тому

    Of course there is failure in the sexual realm. & men need to understand this. The goal is for both partners to get off and feel fulfilled, gratified.

  • @mikthe2004
    @mikthe2004 10 місяців тому

    Just because she doesn't initiate it, doesn't mean she isn't into it or doesn't enjoy it.
    Some women just prefer us guys to take the lead. They're submissive.
    My wife is keen and enthusiastic, and she never says no - which is better than most married guys get.
    So why would I complain or leave her?
    And just because she doesn't initiate it, it doesn't mean she isn't sending me subtle signals - like the way she kisses me goodnight, or good morning, or good afternoon!!🤣🤣🤣
    She's just not the type to jump on me and start ripping my clothes off.

    • @ToddCreager
      @ToddCreager  9 місяців тому

      I love this comment!

    • @4NaturesStory
      @4NaturesStory 8 місяців тому

      Never says no…what a dream. My wife encompasses the word no. Absolute hell. 😢

    • @mikthe2004
      @mikthe2004 8 місяців тому +1

      @@4NaturesStory Well, I'm 6'2" tall, and gym lean and muscular, and well hung - so that helps!!
      My wife - on her good days, looks like Salma Hayek!! It's hard for me to keep my eyes and hands off her.
      And yes, I'm very lucky to have a wife with an attitude like that.

    • @4NaturesStory
      @4NaturesStory 8 місяців тому

      @@mikthe2004 Jesus, you sound like a Greek god my brother, I’m 5’11” 165, 36yr ex-male model old who mostly kills things for a living now in my back yard and own my own insurance adjusting firm for the past 13yrs. Salma is one of my favs! Love her! 😍 Luckily my wife just changed her ways and cleaned the whole house and Im drained me of semen, filled me with axis deer steak and I won some money on the chiefs. Now I’m drunk in the bath. So maybe I was raging earlier, lol. So, I gress I am a man child. My wife is so freaking sexy I can’t stand it.

    • @mikthe2004
      @mikthe2004 8 місяців тому +1

      @@4NaturesStory 🤣🤣🤣 Very funny dude. I hope your story is true, but I sense some sarcasm there? My wife is actually my ex wife now. We separated 10 months ago!! But she's had 2 boyfriends in that time, and cheated on both of them with me. So they did the heavy lifting, trying to keep her happy, and I was getting it for free!! Women get bored easily, and they're never happy, so I'm glad we're separated. Still good friends - obviously - but now when we get together it's just quality family time with our boys, and each other! No more domestic shit to drag us down. Cohabiting is the killer of passion!!

  • @z-greatwhatever1586
    @z-greatwhatever1586 3 роки тому +1

    He thinks the woman has to initiate sex

  • @TonyODonnell
    @TonyODonnell 4 місяці тому

    the problem with this video and this advice is that you are under the impression that the millions of men out there are not talking to their partners about their lack of intimacy, well most people do talk about it and nothing gets resolved, so a better video would be what to do in that instance and not in your miracle cure for one man but not his wife.

    • @ToddCreager
      @ToddCreager  2 місяці тому

      Tony- that is a fair criticism. I think I will take you up on that. I did that video years ago and I agree that there can be communication and still no resolution. It won't be for a number of weeks, but I am putting that on my to do list!

  • @sonbicox6638
    @sonbicox6638 2 роки тому

    What if man's body just don't demand it and he has other priorities like kids and job and all but he still loves wife unconditionally

  • @cb3391
    @cb3391 Рік тому

    Welcome to husbandville if your lucky after all the romance, gifts , back rubs she ma pillow princess you...maybe but get your ass to work, keep her warm and safe

  • @openhonestminds8808
    @openhonestminds8808 4 роки тому +2

    Makes me feel cheated ony my wife

  • @karllagerfeld3137
    @karllagerfeld3137 2 роки тому +1

    My wife never touches me. I hate this shit.

    • @prevaloir5362
      @prevaloir5362 2 роки тому +2

      Brother respectfully you need to leave. You have one life and you're wasting it with someone who won't touch you.

    • @karllagerfeld3137
      @karllagerfeld3137 2 роки тому

      @@prevaloir5362 just acquired a home… planned for 2nd week in August. It’s been hard finding a house.

    • @YaHsrael
      @YaHsrael 2 роки тому +2

      7yrs she's a Narc on menopause, need I say more. I'm saving for divorce, she can keep everything.

    • @TomikaKelly
      @TomikaKelly Рік тому

      So YOU touch her...🙃🤷‍♂️

  • @TheDudeMichael
    @TheDudeMichael 7 місяців тому

    Non stop complaining... But when it comes to action she starts complaining again about not having action.... Wtf do i do, her word is the last on everything and im powerless.

  • @ImperialMinecrafter
    @ImperialMinecrafter 3 роки тому +2

    Maybe she’s not cute?

  • @chrisburnsed6349
    @chrisburnsed6349 Рік тому +2

    Be straight forward and honest with your partner about your needs and expectations. This is the time to be a little selfish and brutally honest right from the very start. I told my wife I want need and expect sex very regularly and that other than a medical excuse I would not accept any less. Period. If she cut me off and became not into it after a while I would be leaving her or cheating. Remember your needs aren’t worth any less than your partners. If I cut her off to the communication she craves I’m sure she wouldn’t put up with it long and would be eventually getting it elsewhere so it’s only fair. Life is far too short to not get what you need out of it.

    • @TomikaKelly
      @TomikaKelly Рік тому

      So your wife is out here having sex with you even when she doesn't want to just to keep you "regular" and you're out here enjoying obligatory, burdensome sex? 🤨 Yikes!