One of the things that contributes to that. Not all. Teenage years are hard for everyone - trying to figure out who you are, what you'll do and be in life, how you'll provide for yourself, how you'll get what you need and want in terms of income, partners, children, etc, etc., etc. But yes, this stuff sure makes life much harder and meaner than it should have to be.
@@tinaperez7393 To be honest your comment sounds a little bit invalidating, at least to me. Especially the teenage years are hard for everyone part (sounds like there’s an omitted get over it there as well, but it could be my own trigger). The more I heal, the more I realize that all these “difficult” life phases are not really difficult at all when you have a safe base to return to. Whether it’s outside, with other people, or inside, with your inner adult. It’s difficult when people around you are pressuring you into something rather than lovingly guiding you, or even just letting you be yourself. If that’s the case, then figuring yourself out becomes an adventure. Bump along the road? You go back to your healthy system and connect with it even more. There’s some real hard stuff in life, especially when it comes to illness and loss of loved ones, but teenage years would only be hard if you’ve had shitty parents in my opinion.
@@collegien1 yeah I totally agree... Life isn't supposed to be hard... It's only hard for those of us who had to do it all alone with nobody to return to, nobody to care, nobody to love us... Everyone gets stressed sometimes but once they go and talk with someone that they love and get reassurance... They feel better about the situation and are able to deal with it.. But sadly we have to become our own parent, our own safe place... Sending love and hugs to all my people❤️🩹☺🙂
I am 61 years old and my childhood has affected my entire life. I inherited 3 boxes full of photo albums when I put my mother into senior care. They sat in my home haunting me unopened for months. I asked my brother if he wanted them and he said we starred in own own horror movie, to burn them. I kept one from before the abusive step father entered our lives when we were innocent little kids and my sweet husband got rid of the rest. Wish the memories and triggers and nightmares could be thrown out and forgotten too. Every child deserves to be safe, cherished, and loved.
It’s like this… Too many children seem to be without rights, especially if the mother is abused and co dependent on him. Even worse even becoming abusive also. Childhood trauma runs deep and stays a lifetime.
It’s like this… Too many children seem to be without rights, especially if the mother is abused and co dependent on him. Even worse even becoming abusive also. Childhood trauma runs deep and stays a lifetime.I feel so bad for you. I certainly relate.
Today I put a "RESERVED" sign on the space I give negative memories. I waste too much time ruminating and find myself lost in time 😢 MY time is too precious. It's me telling the bullish thoughts "There's no room here for you" lol 😂 I have other amazing memories and I'm beign selective.. seriously bc I matter and my kids need better stories from my younger self 💞
So many children hear sh*t like this and absorb it for life. I just hope that people can see you as a professional telling your story and relating to you, and finding comfort in your help
Good point. I can use that. What if I were to list all of the wrong-headed stuff I remember and also all of the negative self-thoughts from stuff I have suppressed? And what if I went through each and, taking the inner child vs my higher self, the inner adult, loved myself instead? What would that look like? Here's me, trying it on for size. Thanks Patrick. I can build a new inner life with these tools. I can have access to my inner child's dreams and I can now live with the talents and strength I was meant to have to see reality breathe life, my life, into my dreams.
I will never forget this lady I saw at the movie theater telling her grandson things like that and swearing at him.. telling him he was stupid for spilling his drink.. I wanted to stand up for him. I wanted to report her.. But I just stood there .. I felt like I couldn’t, I froze, like someone had a hand over my mouth.. I told my husband what had happened and my husband waved at the little boy and said he’d buy him another soda .. his grandma refused .. my husband gave him a high five and told him he was an awesome kid😢.. I went home and cried .. I was so heart Broken that he had to endure that .. and I was so mad at myself for not being able to stand up for him😓 I promised my self that next time I saw something like this I would speak up and or report it .. Child abuse is not just physical.. 😢
Hi I know we don't know each other personally but I'm sorry that you saw that kid being treated badly by his piece of shit grandma but I'm happy that your husband made that kid feel better by buying him a soda and saying he's an awesome kid
You did what you could. You told your husband. And the little boy had someone offering to buy him another drink so at least somewhere in that little boy's heart he knew that he really wasn't worthless. He needed that. Next time you'll be more prepared but at least that little boy knows someone somewhere saw value in him 💕
I get that feeling. Seeing a caretaker scream at a child just hurts me so bad, even though nothing like that has ever happened to me... Yeah I get it 💔
Amen 🙏 ❤ Too bad his father missed out on understanding that he had a wonderful gift .. in the form of a lovely son. Sounds like the father was absolutely full of disdain
Yes, Patrick, you do help people. You probably can’t know how many of us saw or heard your words, on a hard day, and felt some of that burden lifted off of us. You have no idea how many of us, who walk through life with a heart like an open wound, but I’m sure you have a pretty good idea. Thank you for helping so many of us learn to heal and protect our hearts. You are young enough to be my son, and I’d be so proud of you! Thank you for being you.
"I wish you were never my daughter." Right to my nine year old face. He also verbally and emotionally abused my mother, told her he wished I had never been born, and told her I ruined his life (by literally existing). He hit our cats, used to beat me, and wanted to put me up for adoption before I was born.
It made me teary eyed to seeing photos of vibrant baby boy paired with the cruel and heartless things your father said. How wonderful that you took that experience to help others.
Exactly. Children need to be protected, prioritized, and loved. Not whatever the hell this is. (Ah yes, it’s called *verbal abuse.* 😀) There’s definitely no “right” way to parent, but this is certainly a great example of one of the *_wrong_* ways.
You can see the sadness grow more in his eyes and smile slowly becoming a forced one. Things to look for in your nephews, nieces, your kids friends...and step in and do something about it! Thanks so much for this, Patrick.
When you think about it, it's scary how inescapably correct these things can seem to the kid on the receiving end when they are so TRANSPARENTLY WRONG and actually plain nuts when seen from the outside. You do such important work, dude.
It’s then a mindf*ck trying to undo that as an adult. It’s so hard to make yourself believe that they’re NOT true even though rationally you can see that they’re not
For a lot of us its the reality... im in a pretty good spot now, but i still struggle with self-esteem now and then. My father had passed away 3 years ago, since then, it made me realize more and more, that i didnt grew up normally, and so missed a normal childhood. Sometimes i feel like im damaged goods.. i hope i won't turn out like him when im older, im 23 now.
@@ahmadm8382 THIS. I’m so, so sorry that happened to you. I was abused when I was younger as well, but nowhere near to that extent. I still live with him.
@@sprunkleeyou don't have to live with him. You never have to live with him, or anyone. Family is a choice, and one that should be made out of love and appreciation, not fear and "respect"
Omg 😭😭😭😭 so grateful for people like you , a true inspiration and a pure gentle soul so kind and beautiful and a HERO ! You are amazing ! I wish you the best of luck
My father once told me "You're a monster" when I held my knife infront of me pointed at him to scare him off and to defend my younger brothers and mother from him (he was agressive and wanted to beat my younger brothers and me up for "misbehaving", it wasn't the first time but it was the first time I instead of taking the hit for my brothers decided to stood up for us all). I replied him: "You created me, if you create a monster be ready to face it". It was four years ago, now I'm about to turn 18 next month and my mother finally decided to divorce him and sue him for abuse. When the court will start the case I will be a adult, and I'm so glad because I will be a key witness and I will be able to take revange finally. I hate him so much. I want to study law to work in court so I can punish and catch people like him. Edit: Some people asked me for an update, so I will tell you all how the situation looks like right now. So, first of all I need to inform you guys that the judicial and law system where I live kind of suck, that's why despite the fact that my mother founded three cases against my father (the oldest being 1,5 yo for abuse, the second being 3 months for harassment and the earliest being one month for divorce, it's the second time she demands a divorce because three months ealier she canceled the first one. She basiclly has a Stockholm syndrome and is co-dependent from my alcoholic father, so she tried to forgive him for the millionth time) we still had to live under the same roof with him (yes, it was awkward and uncomfortable af). Well, that was until he has outdone himself month ago and left my mother without car (we had two cars, one his and one my mothers, but my mothers was technically registered to him so he used that fact and even though he doesn't use it, he just took it from my mother out of spite), he also started another big argument with my mother, police was called but this bitch of a father is a friend with one more important police officer and he acted all nice infront of the police anyways (like always, he can switch his behavior in seconds, I always hated how good of a manipulator he is) so they didn't take him. When the police went back my father forced us to lock ourselves at home out of fear of him, he cut off the tap water and he walked around the yard with an axe. We called for my uncle to come get us, he did but called for another two uncles to come with him as well because my father was unpredictable and we all genuinely feared for our lifes right there (also not the first time), so we were worried that he would attack someone with an axe or some shit (I even gave my uncle my pepper spray and I had a knife in my hand all the time). So when they came they took us to my uncle's place and we stayed there for about a week, then we went to stay at my mothers friend house for another few weeks (it's where I am right now). We basiclly don't have one permanent home right now, in the meantime as we wander around my sad excuse of a father stole money from his and my mothers common back account on the father's day, this money was for my brothers and for me basiclly, two hundred was mine only and I think that this imbecile forgot that I'm 18 and he has NO rights to my money at all now, so if the judge won't force him to pay me back on one of the cases I will sue him myself for that, I'm not letting that go. About the cases, they finally started, the first one to go is a child custody case over my 16 and 12 yo brothers, my father will most likely loose all custody, with my mother it's like 50/50, because she did allow the abuse for years, she also neglected us good (thanks to my parents neglect I have pernament problems with my both mental and physical health) and she canceled this first divorce case and that doesn't put her in the best light, plus we don't really have a stable home so I'm afraid that my brothers will be taken permanently. My brothers always hated eachother, but they both had a good relationship with me and if they will be taken then I will never forgive my mother and father for that. The abuse case started already as well, so things are going slowly, all my family from both sides are on our side, my father's own 3 brothers and one sister are against him, I think that even more than the 8 siblings of my mother are, one of my uncles (the one we called first that day I described ealier) even said that my father is no brother of his and that he will spit on his grave, so there's that. Thank you all for your positive and supportive comments, that means a lot to me, sorry for such a long comment but I wanted to give you all the most clear look into my situation I could, maybe after the cases I will write another update, but thank you all for now and I will keep myself being strong 💜
I’m so proud of you. I could never be brave enough to stand up for my little brothers and sister. I just sort of thought being a “dad” to them would help them since they got fuck all from our actual dad. But I wish I had done more and stepped in to stop the physical abuse at least. I just knew drawing attention on myself was the last thing I wanted to do, even if it left my siblings adrift at sea.
You DO help people. I am so sorry for what you went through. My heart breaks in a million pieces watching that as a Mom of 5, who has also struggled with past Trauma. Thank You for being YOU! ♥️
Actually that's false information. Well, technically. While you may not be able to recall the memory like your more vivid ones, it still leaves an impact if it's repeated behavior and it still will affect the baby. Think of babies like sponges, they are constantly learning from their guardians / surroundings. So even if those weren't your earliest memories, it still would have an effect on you.
Thank you. My dad once told me the greater I climb, the harder I will fall. This was right after securing a 55k job in 2008, with no uni or college degree. I developed panic attacks at that workplace. My mum told me I'd understand all the choices she made once I have my own child. When I was pregnant and found out it was a girl, she said God must know something to give me a daughter (i.e. you reap what you sow, karma). I absolutely l, more stronger than ever, am disgusted at the behaviours and choices they both made, only cemented after having my daughter. I could never do to her what was done to me. It's a hard journey, but we're getting ready to break away. Wish us luck.
Yes, you help tens of thousands of people live healthy and productive lives every single day. And not to be vengeful, but these pathetic messed up parents are rotting away alone because they've abused and alienated their children.
Some abusive parents don’t let their kids move and become independent adults they force them to live with em for ever and when you try to stand up to them it does not work
@erikvolkers1826 It's ok to empathize but it doesn't make it ok for it to continue. We didn't cause it, we can't change it & we can't cure what they went through-But we can heal what we went through and make a difference on breaking this chain. That hurt people hurt people is an excuse for hurt people who didn't do the hard work of healing and keep the abuse going. It's our responsibility to do the work, heal and stop this generational yuck. It's definitely not easy, but so worth it. We can do this!
What a moving way to display these words across photos of you growing up. One impactful part of my recovery was the act of putting up photos of my young self to remind myself the she does not deserve the learned loop of negativity that was running through my head, internalized from so many years of hearing it around me. We are all still that same sweet child who never deserved what was inflicted upon us. It takes time to learn how to love and regard and parent ourselves well if that wasn’t modeled for us. Patrick, thanks for your example and the help you give to others
It’s awful we got told such horrible things growing up, I feel for what you went through. You deserved so much better. Thankyou for helping so many, you are cherished ❤
Just WOW ... thank you for working through your pain Patrick. I APPRECIATE all of your hard work to help those of us who are ready to receive it. Thank you ♡
My father once told me "the only thing i'd be good for is making men satisfied". It's truly disturbing how many people can relate to trauma from parents or other family members💔
That’s not right , if you became Muslim you are not allowed to sleep with any one except your husband ( He should be Muslim ) because he can’t sleep with another women , this is gonna make him very guilty and you will not be as he says you gonna be , you will be a successful mom and your kids will love and care for you because in our religion Islam you have to love and make your parents proud of you and take extra care with them , in your case you have to be the better person in the whole situation show him that you are pure because your Muslim you exists to worship Allah not to be a street girl and he should’ve said smithing nice to you not those nasty words YOU ARE STRONGER THAN WHAT HE SAYS ♥️
It's just so fascinating there is not much of difference what the abusive parents to tell their kids across the culture. I am from South Korea and Patrick's videos are the first that I realize I am not alone. Thank you so much as always.
This must have been painful to put up. You don’t usually post much about your father. I’m so sorry this happened to you. Thank you for being so strong and for helping people like me now.
The thing is, I never heard stuff like this but was shown this example. My parents were too covert to be so blatant. Which is why for years I thought I had a good childhood. Such a mind screw! Thanks to healers like you I finally figured out how selfish my parents are. Patrick, thank you.
My dad would say almost the same, but it was "Your mom and I are the most important people, you all come after us." And gods does that fuck up self-image. Sorry you had to deal with that shit.
@@sajadazaman9384But that's how a narcissist is, they're childish devils that want others to mother them, but then they think thet can get away with heinous comments and behaviors, not realizing this will snap back at them. But after all, they don't live in reality.
You are loved by us!!! I’m sorry you had to go through that sick crap. No child should be treated that way. You’re a bright light and a beacon of hope for all of us trying to heal our sweet and innocent inner child. ❤❤❤❤. Thank you for what you do!!
You already know you are someone you can be proud of. We each get to choose who we want to be, if we want to live more in fear and hate, or more in joy and love. You done good, and you know it. ❤️
Patrick, my heart is moved with compassion for you and I just want to run to little Patrick and hug him with a safe, secure hug. And all those who suffered from destructive words spoken by so-called "adults" who had no business being a parent! You are AN OVERCOMER AND ARE HELPING SO SO MANY DO THE SAME!!! I am GRATEFUL TO GOD FOR CONNECTING YOU WITH THE RIGHT THERAPIST WHO TRULY UNDERSTOOD YOUR PAIN AS A CHILD THAT LEFT SCARES DEEP WITHIN YOUR SOUL. NO CHILD SHOULD EVER HAVE TO ENDURE SUCH TREATMENT, ABUSE. LET'S CALL IT WHAT IT IS: A B U S E.
Oh Patrick I'm so sorry he put you through that, my mom was like that too not all the time but enough to scar me for life and my dad would just walk away when it happened
Thank you for posting this very tender post, Patrick. I’m sure it wasn’t easy. I am so sorry that your dad was so horribly abusive and was utterly blind to the gift he was given to have you for his son. I wish I could have known you back then & been your friend in school. No one deserves to be treated like that, yet so many of us were. You are an inspiration for all of us. You are helping thousands of souls and families. I’m so thankful you got away from those who didn’t know you or love you. God bless you for all you are doing to help others.
Wow, this made me cry. I heard all of these things and thought there must be something so wrong with me. I felt such shame for being such an embarrassment to my family because they must be right or why else would they say it. My sister said all of those things to me and that I was so ugly I would never be successful in life. How can you treat your little sister that way. I’ll never understand. She was relentless. She ruined any chances of friendships with her lies to the community where I grew up. It’s a type of evil that people cannot understand unless they have been through it and lived through it. Decades later the confusion and the pain are still there as to why. Oddly enough, I did do well in life and even though people tell me I’m attractive I will never see it because she drilled into me that I was hideous. I severed ties years ago and would say that had I not done that I can’t imagine where I would be today. She would’ve broken me more than likely. God literally picked me up and carried me through the horrible ordeal of recognizing and understanding what narcissistic personality disorder truly is and how evil the demon within these people truly is. My heart goes out to each and every person brave enough to post a comment about their story and to survive what they should never have had to endure. It was wrong. It was a crime. You deserved better.
This was so viscerally powerful; the music, the pictures of earnest young Patrick through the years, the searing words on his yearning soul and the great impact he’s having now, unstoppable. Thank you.
You’ve helped me more than you’ll ever know. I wish there was a way to go back and give that little boy a hug, and tell him that when he’s free from his abusers that life will be amazing. Wishing you all the best, Patrick ❤️ you deserve the world
Your an inspiration. There is No excuse get up dust of all those Generational curses an make life work better for you. It starts with a promise to yourself....I can and I will ❤
Look how adorable you are! Who couldn’t love a face like that? Thank you for sharing, you’re an inspiration for me in my pursuit of a counseling degree.
You've helped and continue to help myself and many others heal. I can't even express how grateful I am for you and what you do for all of us. Thank you for not letting their weaknesses stop you from learning and teaching all of us how to heal and be strong.
Thank you very much for sharing such vulnerable insights. It touched my „mother- heart“ and tears came to my eyes for the first time. Then I read the comments and had to cry… thank you not only for sharing, but also for bringing together this wonderful supportive people/ community. It is inspiring to see what you were able to turn this experience into!! Hugs from Europe, Germany
Oh. My god. I am so sorry for everything he put you through first of all.😢 *But* that mic drop of a win at the end; you sure showed him. And I am not saying that's why you did it either, no, not at all. I just absolutely love how he never succeeded in tearing you down in the end. You made it fresh out the other side-- and now you are even helping others to do the exact same thing. Real legends aren't common, they are rare. But *you sir* are an absolute legend. I'm sorry for you then, just a sweet young boy trying to grow up in the world, but you're a strong and accomplished man now, and it's so well deserved and looks great on you. A round of applause for you!!!!👏👏👏 💖
I’m so sorry you had to deal with that. That was just cruel.. I can’t imagine how much that must have hurt you. I hope you’re doing well and I’m so proud of you!! Thank you for helping other people with their experiences as well. Keep up the great work, and never give up!!
I'm so sorry he said so many horrible things to you. You didn't deserve to be treated or thought of that way. Thank you for helping others. You've helped me immensely.
I see that little boy and feel sick that you heard those awful things. You are such a good resource for me and so many others and we think you are amazing!
It's curious that they call it angsty, because angsty is just what happened in the french revolution. Angsty happens for a reason, not because it's natural to become rebel for no reason.
“Who’s ever going to want to marry her? Just look at her” “you are nothing and will always be nothing “ “you’re not my daughter, you’re too stupid to be my daughter” “you see that homeless bum? That’s where you’re headed, that’s your future!” Things said to me by my parents. Super fun!
You're parents are so naive and clueless if they think that of you! 🤣 You're obviously a smart, beautiful young women deserving of love and care. You will be so successful that when their old asses are sitting in the retirement home they will come begging you for money and a better life!
And that little boy’s bravery gives me strength in my hardest, most troubling, fucked up moments where I just don’t know what to do. You’re a superhero Patrick.
Amazing Patrick! I am so grateful that you now have the wonderful life that you are so intended for. And I am so grateful that you are passing that gift along to the rest of us! Thank you always for your gift!
This is horrible that someone would say things like that to a child. My mother had a horribly abusive stepfather, and I myself had a bio father who left us while I was two or three months old and was lucky enough to have a blind stepfather who loves and cares for us. I wish all children could have good parents like mine.
I heard similar stuff growing up. Thanks for opening my eyes to the fact that this abuse is more common than I thought, not just my weird secret. I really appreciate you showing us tools to heal ❤️
This makes me want to cry🙏🌺💜🌈🥲 Every child is precious beyond measure 💎 Thankyou Patrick for sharing this!! You really do help people and you are very brainy !!
Seeing this makes me just wanna hug this poor, strong child. I can see the pain in your eyes. And than I realise that I went through the same shit and that I struggle to love my own inner child.. Children are so incredibly strong! We were able to grow up while our parents were tearing us down. So proud of us! ❤️
Oh my god Patrick all the sadness your precious eyes let through, even though your mouth is smiling. We are so lucky to have you. Your help is inestimable. God bless you🙏🏻🌟
What I noticed right away from the verbal abuse I received, was that it never pertained to me. I didn’t know the word “projection” back then, but I recognized the pattern, and once I learned of the word, it was instant validation of everything I’d endured! That LABEL was everything! Same when I learned the words “psychopath,” “pathological liar,” and many others that we use in the narcissistic abuse education & recovery community. It helped that neither of my parents were accomplished people-as narcs, of course they thought they were ENTITLED to “everything,” so they were frustrated by their reality, but they could never make me feel bad w/ the contents of their speech, since none of it was EVER true. I’m grateful to have been born self-aware & truth-oriented, and also for having ZERO proclivities for codependency-even as a kid who had nowhere and no one else to turn to, I never sought my parents’ approval. It was THEY who didn’t meet my minimum standards for what I wanted in the humans I chose for my life. It still drains your life force to have to endure living in an all-narc family. Amazing that I survived, even if I wished daily that I wouldn’t live to see another day, as early as 2nd or 3rd grade. So many people don’t realize that some kids are in situations where they essentially HAVE to consider suicide, given the inescapable & unrelenting conditions of their life.
Yes! Your phrase, drains your life force to endure living in an all narc family, really really speaks to me. I’ve got dad, mom, brother and grandma. It’s terrible when they somehow gang up to put you down and you feel like your only option is to just not say anything. One day, I’ll make it out of this. Or die trying.
I randomly clicked just reading the title and when I got to the end and realized it was you, I was so moved. You have helped so many people with their traumas and overcoming their abuse and it’s sad and shocking to learn that this was at your core 😢 Thank you for sharing and you’ve given us so much courage bc of this. I’m in awe of your strength for turning this negative into a huge positive and your compassion for others, God bless.
I was abused by my father as an adolescent. It took a heart attack and emergency open heart surgery and the wisdom of a total stranger in the form of a hospital roommate to awaken my father as to what he had. " You have a great family!" By this time in my life I didn't want a relationship with him. Avoidance was the best solution to the problem.
Healthy people lift their kids up, (as well as our inner child). and that is what you and many healing people do. we give ourselves and our inner and outer child that love cos we heal ourselves. ❤ And you rock Patrick, thank you!
This is true for most people, I used to know a friend in school who his dad would yell at him all the time. We eventually told the guidance counselor, his father was gone afterwards. This makes me remind me about that kid, that he never gave up, and no one else should. Remember, you are not alone.
Wow, incredibly inspirational. A lot of people will relate to both the verbal/mental abuse and the photos and take heart from seeing/hearing you now. A great example of the movement from awhile back aimed at teens about how, "it gets better" after high school or whatever. When you have only been alive 15 years, and 2/3 of it (the formative years no less) are a living hell, it is hard to imagine how the passing of time turns down the volume on those years and if, like you, a young person can use the shit from their childhood as fertilizer then they can cultivate the healthiest most fruitful life that others will line up to learn your gardening skills and eat well for life, if you follow my metaphor. So thank you for not throwing a dinner party but instead teaching us not just how to cook but to grow our own food. Yep I'm a lil bit in love with my analogy there lol. Apt! Ty 🥰
Patrick..you are a bright light to the world... healing others😊❤❤❤ and your words reach others and me. Mentally ill people hurt others... you never deserved neglect only care and love. I get it. ❤ you found an escape...an oasis... music ...creative...counseling. thank you. ❤
I actually was able to live with my abusive father a few years ago when I had nowhere to stay and was doing terribly mentally. I got to see, from an adults eyes, what he treated me like when I was little because he had more kids of his own with another woman, and I saw how he spoke to and treated them. He frequently would ask them "what the hell is wrong with you?" Every time they made totally normal mistakes that were developmentally appropriate for their ages. I got to see how it affected them, and those children, too, were extremely hurt by the way me step-dad was treating them. Needless to say, now in my adulthood, I cannot shake the feeling that something is profoundly wrong with me, even though I am hardly different from the average person.
Once we get to the teenage years, it builds up and starts to show in our faces. And then that gets normalized as typical teenage angst. :/
One of the things that contributes to that. Not all. Teenage years are hard for everyone - trying to figure out who you are, what you'll do and be in life, how you'll provide for yourself, how you'll get what you need and want in terms of income, partners, children, etc, etc., etc. But yes, this stuff sure makes life much harder and meaner than it should have to be.
@@tinaperez7393 To be honest your comment sounds a little bit invalidating, at least to me. Especially the teenage years are hard for everyone part (sounds like there’s an omitted get over it there as well, but it could be my own trigger). The more I heal, the more I realize that all these “difficult” life phases are not really difficult at all when you have a safe base to return to. Whether it’s outside, with other people, or inside, with your inner adult. It’s difficult when people around you are pressuring you into something rather than lovingly guiding you, or even just letting you be yourself. If that’s the case, then figuring yourself out becomes an adventure. Bump along the road? You go back to your healthy system and connect with it even more. There’s some real hard stuff in life, especially when it comes to illness and loss of loved ones, but teenage years would only be hard if you’ve had shitty parents in my opinion.
@@collegien1 sure. Cearly THAT'S what I was saying. (sarcasm)
Great observation.
@@collegien1 yeah I totally agree... Life isn't supposed to be hard... It's only hard for those of us who had to do it all alone with nobody to return to, nobody to care, nobody to love us... Everyone gets stressed sometimes but once they go and talk with someone that they love and get reassurance... They feel better about the situation and are able to deal with it.. But sadly we have to become our own parent, our own safe place...
Sending love and hugs to all my people❤️🩹☺🙂
All kids deserve a parent
Not all parents deserve a kid
@Pardis-og3tbNot oddly at all, actually. They project their terrible childhoods onto their children and learn from their abusive or absent parents.
Can yalll stay on 1 shit
Someone says all parents deserve kids
But not all kids deserve parents like wtf
@@tanjiro_heeheecan you stop being rude
@@pinkdollangel I'm not trying to be rude I'm just confused as I stated
Your forgetting that sometimes it's the opposite
Being a kid is mandatory. Being a parent is optional. Not everyone who is family deserves your love.
what about that one person who spawned as a 60 year old
@@elliotgraham-yj8og This isn't funny
@@hinakaramat3993 bro it’s a Minecraft joke stop being offended bro
@@elliotgraham-yj8og making fun of something serious and after someone complains you are the one who gets offended.
Thank you for this
I am 61 years old and my childhood has affected my entire life. I inherited 3 boxes full of photo albums when I put my mother into senior care. They sat in my home haunting me unopened for months. I asked my brother if he wanted them and he said we starred in own own horror movie, to burn them. I kept one from before the abusive step father entered our lives when we were innocent little kids and my sweet husband got rid of the rest. Wish the memories and triggers and nightmares could be thrown out and forgotten too. Every child deserves to be safe, cherished, and loved.
It’s like this… Too many children seem to be without rights, especially if the mother is abused and co dependent on him. Even worse even becoming abusive also.
Childhood trauma runs deep and stays a lifetime.
It’s like this… Too many children seem to be without rights, especially if the mother is abused and co dependent on him. Even worse even becoming abusive also.
Childhood trauma runs deep and stays a lifetime.I feel so bad for you. I certainly relate.
Today I put a "RESERVED" sign on the space I give negative memories. I waste too much time ruminating and find myself lost in time 😢 MY time is too precious. It's me telling the bullish thoughts "There's no room here for you" lol 😂 I have other amazing memories and I'm beign selective.. seriously bc I matter and my kids need better stories from my younger self 💞
So many children hear sh*t like this and absorb it for life. I just hope that people can see you as a professional telling your story and relating to you, and finding comfort in your help
Good point. I can use that. What if I were to list all of the wrong-headed stuff I remember and also all of the negative self-thoughts from stuff I have suppressed? And what if I went through each and, taking the inner child vs my higher self, the inner adult, loved myself instead? What would that look like? Here's me, trying it on for size. Thanks Patrick. I can build a new inner life with these tools. I can have access to my inner child's dreams and I can now live with the talents and strength I was meant to have to see reality breathe life, my life, into my dreams.
Ikr it's sad
And I'm one of them
@@himangshu6708damn hope the best for you
@@bethb.6813 This brought tears to my eyes
I will never forget this lady I saw at the movie theater telling her grandson things like that and swearing at him.. telling him he was stupid for spilling his drink.. I wanted to stand up for him. I wanted to report her.. But I just stood there .. I felt like I couldn’t, I froze, like someone had a hand over my mouth.. I told my husband what had happened and my husband waved at the little boy and said he’d buy him another soda .. his grandma refused .. my husband gave him a high five and told him he was an awesome kid😢.. I went home and cried .. I was so heart Broken that he had to endure that .. and I was so mad at myself for not being able to stand up for him😓 I promised my self that next time I saw something like this I would speak up and or report it .. Child abuse is not just physical.. 😢
Hi I know we don't know each other personally but I'm sorry that you saw that kid being treated badly by his piece of shit grandma but I'm happy that your husband made that kid feel better by buying him a soda and saying he's an awesome kid
You did what you could. You told your husband. And the little boy had someone offering to buy him another drink so at least somewhere in that little boy's heart he knew that he really wasn't worthless. He needed that.
Next time you'll be more prepared but at least that little boy knows someone somewhere saw value in him 💕
I get that feeling. Seeing a caretaker scream at a child just hurts me so bad, even though nothing like that has ever happened to me... Yeah I get it 💔
Womp Womp
@@Puerto_Rico7 You're not funny.
That beautiful little boy deserved to be treated with love and integrity
Fr
Keep the chain going fr
Yes he did
Amen 🙏 ❤
Too bad his father missed out on understanding that he had a wonderful gift .. in the form of a lovely son. Sounds like the father was absolutely full of disdain
@@pieceofemma. Then, they wonder why their children don't care about them in their old age.
Yes, Patrick, you do help people. You probably can’t know how many of us saw or heard your words, on a hard day, and felt some of that burden lifted off of us. You have no idea how many of us, who walk through life with a heart like an open wound, but I’m sure you have a pretty good idea. Thank you for helping so many of us learn to heal and protect our hearts. You are young enough to be my son, and I’d be so proud of you! Thank you for being you.
We were all so innocent and pure
Exactly, they saw our light and they couldn't stand it. I think it all boils down to that.
Man God can purify us again
Soo true
I hate how they ruined me. I just feel ruined.
And then they ruined us
"I wish you were never my daughter."
Right to my nine year old face. He also verbally and emotionally abused my mother, told her he wished I had never been born, and told her I ruined his life (by literally existing). He hit our cats, used to beat me, and wanted to put me up for adoption before I was born.
hope you have peace now ❤❤❤
Life is hard but u have to go through it for the people u love u can't just let him beat u he ruined ur life
Wht you are just a woman,,, You dont know the struggle of a Sigma (true man) like me
I don't know you, but I love you and wish you all the best in life.
What a coward, your father is.
It made me teary eyed to seeing photos of vibrant baby boy paired with the cruel and heartless things your father said. How wonderful that you took that experience to help others.
Exactly. Children need to be protected, prioritized, and loved. Not whatever the hell this is. (Ah yes, it’s called *verbal abuse.* 😀) There’s definitely no “right” way to parent, but this is certainly a great example of one of the *_wrong_* ways.
Same
I was never allowed to even play an instrument.
You can see the sadness grow more in his eyes and smile slowly becoming a forced one.
Things to look for in your nephews, nieces, your kids friends...and step in and do something about it!
Thanks so much for this, Patrick.
Inspirational you are to turn such pain into purpose, thank you helping so many with your channel
Thanks for the reminder!💖
When you think about it, it's scary how inescapably correct these things can seem to the kid on the receiving end when they are so TRANSPARENTLY WRONG and actually plain nuts when seen from the outside.
You do such important work, dude.
It’s then a mindf*ck trying to undo that as an adult. It’s so hard to make yourself believe that they’re NOT true even though rationally you can see that they’re not
The idea of a kid being neglected and abused like that crushes me
It’s very hard to understand.
@@rosieb471 I know. It breaks my heart. Especially thinking of how many times those things were said to that sweet little kid
For a lot of us its the reality... im in a pretty good spot now, but i still struggle with self-esteem now and then. My father had passed away 3 years ago, since then, it made me realize more and more, that i didnt grew up normally, and so missed a normal childhood.
Sometimes i feel like im damaged goods.. i hope i won't turn out like him when im older, im 23 now.
@@ahmadm8382 THIS. I’m so, so sorry that happened to you. I was abused when I was younger as well, but nowhere near to that extent. I still live with him.
@@sprunkleeyou don't have to live with him. You never have to live with him, or anyone. Family is a choice, and one that should be made out of love and appreciation, not fear and "respect"
I cried watching this. Those school pics could be me. You hold a special and important purpose in the world Patrick. Thank you 💜
Moved to tears. Yes, you help people now. Lots and lots of people. Thanks for being who you truly are❤
Omg 😭😭😭😭 so grateful for people like you , a true inspiration and a pure gentle soul so kind and beautiful and a HERO ! You are amazing ! I wish you the best of luck
Heartbreaking.
Thank you for using your trauma as a catalyst for healing yourself and others.
I'll never understand how can anyone be abusive to a child. Children are literal angels
I'm so proud of how far you've come. You were the most goregous young man and boy. We appreciate you right here Patrick💜💛🧡❤
My father once told me "You're a monster" when I held my knife infront of me pointed at him to scare him off and to defend my younger brothers and mother from him (he was agressive and wanted to beat my younger brothers and me up for "misbehaving", it wasn't the first time but it was the first time I instead of taking the hit for my brothers decided to stood up for us all). I replied him:
"You created me, if you create a monster be ready to face it". It was four years ago, now I'm about to turn 18 next month and my mother finally decided to divorce him and sue him for abuse. When the court will start the case I will be a adult, and I'm so glad because I will be a key witness and I will be able to take revange finally. I hate him so much. I want to study law to work in court so I can punish and catch people like him.
Edit: Some people asked me for an update, so I will tell you all how the situation looks like right now. So, first of all I need to inform you guys that the judicial and law system where I live kind of suck, that's why despite the fact that my mother founded three cases against my father (the oldest being 1,5 yo for abuse, the second being 3 months for harassment and the earliest being one month for divorce, it's the second time she demands a divorce because three months ealier she canceled the first one. She basiclly has a Stockholm syndrome and is co-dependent from my alcoholic father, so she tried to forgive him for the millionth time) we still had to live under the same roof with him (yes, it was awkward and uncomfortable af). Well, that was until he has outdone himself month ago and left my mother without car (we had two cars, one his and one my mothers, but my mothers was technically registered to him so he used that fact and even though he doesn't use it, he just took it from my mother out of spite), he also started another big argument with my mother, police was called but this bitch of a father is a friend with one more important police officer and he acted all nice infront of the police anyways (like always, he can switch his behavior in seconds, I always hated how good of a manipulator he is) so they didn't take him. When the police went back my father forced us to lock ourselves at home out of fear of him, he cut off the tap water and he walked around the yard with an axe. We called for my uncle to come get us, he did but called for another two uncles to come with him as well because my father was unpredictable and we all genuinely feared for our lifes right there (also not the first time), so we were worried that he would attack someone with an axe or some shit (I even gave my uncle my pepper spray and I had a knife in my hand all the time). So when they came they took us to my uncle's place and we stayed there for about a week, then we went to stay at my mothers friend house for another few weeks (it's where I am right now). We basiclly don't have one permanent home right now, in the meantime as we wander around my sad excuse of a father stole money from his and my mothers common back account on the father's day, this money was for my brothers and for me basiclly, two hundred was mine only and I think that this imbecile forgot that I'm 18 and he has NO rights to my money at all now, so if the judge won't force him to pay me back on one of the cases I will sue him myself for that, I'm not letting that go.
About the cases, they finally started, the first one to go is a child custody case over my 16 and 12 yo brothers, my father will most likely loose all custody, with my mother it's like 50/50, because she did allow the abuse for years, she also neglected us good (thanks to my parents neglect I have pernament problems with my both mental and physical health) and she canceled this first divorce case and that doesn't put her in the best light, plus we don't really have a stable home so I'm afraid that my brothers will be taken permanently. My brothers always hated eachother, but they both had a good relationship with me and if they will be taken then I will never forgive my mother and father for that.
The abuse case started already as well, so things are going slowly, all my family from both sides are on our side, my father's own 3 brothers and one sister are against him, I think that even more than the 8 siblings of my mother are, one of my uncles (the one we called first that day I described ealier) even said that my father is no brother of his and that he will spit on his grave, so there's that.
Thank you all for your positive and supportive comments, that means a lot to me, sorry for such a long comment but I wanted to give you all the most clear look into my situation I could, maybe after the cases I will write another update, but thank you all for now and I will keep myself being strong 💜
W goal
Good W
I’m so proud of you. I could never be brave enough to stand up for my little brothers and sister. I just sort of thought being a “dad” to them would help them since they got fuck all from our actual dad. But I wish I had done more and stepped in to stop the physical abuse at least. I just knew drawing attention on myself was the last thing I wanted to do, even if it left my siblings adrift at sea.
bro u ain’t in anime fr, ur dad woulda left hook you right in the jaw before u even said that sh🤣
lol😂
You DO help people. I am so sorry for what you went through. My heart breaks in a million pieces watching that as a Mom of 5, who has also struggled with past Trauma. Thank You for being YOU! ♥️
It makes me wonder why our parents even had us. They didn't want a child, they wanted a punching bag...
Ikr it makes me sad for them, man
Womp womp
My mom said babies don't remember. Some of earliest memories are of her hating me.
Same .
same
Same
Actually that's false information. Well, technically. While you may not be able to recall the memory like your more vivid ones, it still leaves an impact if it's repeated behavior and it still will affect the baby. Think of babies like sponges, they are constantly learning from their guardians / surroundings. So even if those weren't your earliest memories, it still would have an effect on you.
Oh boo hoo
Thank you for sharing this with us, and sending so much love to you and your younger self.
From one kicked around kid to another, I love you Patrick. We are doing so well. I am proud of you.
❤
😢
That’s beautiful
It's very powerful to show the child pictures of you and how innocent and sweet, then the words over the top. Very powerful post.
It's clear from the light in your eyes what a sweet kid you were! You ROCK.
I’m so sorry, you were such a cute kid. I wish you could have had more love growing up 🥺
Helping others after you've been hurt is the biggest middle finger to those that hurt you. You cannot change my mind.
I needed to hear that🥹
I am looking to work in a mental hospital after my 5 teenage stays, 3 attempts, an 8 yr SH add!ction, and a 🍇.
Emphasis on OTHERS too. Don't burn out hoping to change the parent! There are people out there who will reciprocate your efforts.
@@myamulvey i know it doesn't mean much coming from a stranger, but I believe in you.
@@autumn948 🥹🥰Tysm seriously
Thank you. My dad once told me the greater I climb, the harder I will fall. This was right after securing a 55k job in 2008, with no uni or college degree. I developed panic attacks at that workplace. My mum told me I'd understand all the choices she made once I have my own child. When I was pregnant and found out it was a girl, she said God must know something to give me a daughter (i.e. you reap what you sow, karma). I absolutely l, more stronger than ever, am disgusted at the behaviours and choices they both made, only cemented after having my daughter. I could never do to her what was done to me. It's a hard journey, but we're getting ready to break away. Wish us luck.
Yes, you help tens of thousands of people live healthy and productive lives every single day. And not to be vengeful, but these pathetic messed up parents are rotting away alone because they've abused and alienated their children.
Imagine how they became like that. This stuff runs for generations #breakthecycle
Some abusive parents don’t let their kids move and become independent adults they force them to live with em for ever and when you try to stand up to them it does not work
@@chandana12605lap nothing u just have to get used to it get to dealing and living with them for the rest of your life
@@albihysenaj5997 that isn't something you should get used to at all, sorry to say this
@erikvolkers1826 It's ok to empathize but it doesn't make it ok for it to continue. We didn't cause it, we can't change it & we can't cure what they went through-But we can heal what we went through and make a difference on breaking this chain. That hurt people hurt people is an excuse for hurt people who didn't do the hard work of healing and keep the abuse going. It's our responsibility to do the work, heal and stop this generational yuck. It's definitely not easy, but so worth it. We can do this!
What a moving way to display these words across photos of you growing up. One impactful part of my recovery was the act of putting up photos of my young self to remind myself the she does not deserve the learned loop of negativity that was running through my head, internalized from so many years of hearing it around me. We are all still that same sweet child who never deserved what was inflicted upon us. It takes time to learn how to love and regard and parent ourselves well if that wasn’t modeled for us. Patrick, thanks for your example and the help you give to others
You are an angel to other recovering adult wounded children. You described your reactivity at work. That's been my struggle.
It’s awful we got told such horrible things growing up, I feel for what you went through. You deserved so much better. Thankyou for helping so many, you are cherished ❤
The fact that he still remembered all of these lines...
it's so heartbreaking
Its abuse obv
We all remember the lines. I was never allowed to eat at the table with my "father." I was treated like a diseased, feral dog.
@@msdemeanour dang I'm sorry
@@김유정7Ofc he remembers all of the lines he was abused
"Everyone has a backstory. Even if it's hidden behind a smile."
It’s hidden in ur brain.
Wow
Same thing
“Behind a smile could be anything unjust & cruel and you’ll never know which happy life could be a lie”
- maybe me idk someone could’ve said this :/
That’s not abusive
Just WOW ... thank you for working through your pain Patrick. I APPRECIATE all of your hard work to help those of us who are ready to receive it. Thank you ♡
❤ Thank you for helping people Patrick. You're a blessing.
The mama in me wants to hold that little sweet boy in those pictures 😢
Right!!!, me too!
Yes , the momma in me wants to kick his as* ..
My mother was the narcissist , her mother was also a narcissist as are both of my sisters..
Absolutely 💕
the father in me wants to break that dads jaw
❤same
My father once told me "the only thing i'd be good for is making men satisfied". It's truly disturbing how many people can relate to trauma from parents or other family members💔
That’s not right , if you became Muslim you are not allowed to sleep with any one except your husband ( He should be Muslim ) because he can’t sleep with another women , this is gonna make him very guilty and you will not be as he says you gonna be , you will be a successful mom and your kids will love and care for you because in our religion Islam you have to love and make your parents proud of you and take extra care with them , in your case you have to be the better person in the whole situation show him that you are pure because your Muslim you exists to worship Allah not to be a street girl and he should’ve said smithing nice to you not those nasty words YOU ARE STRONGER THAN WHAT HE SAYS ♥️
Stay strong siso ❤
That is so hurtful. I'm so sorry you had to go through that.
@JJ_Jacobisverylit1 Not funny, Jacob.
What an awful thing to say to a child 💔
How parents can treat their children so cruelly will never ever make sense. The damage and shame they cause out of their own misery..💔
It's just so fascinating there is not much of difference what the abusive parents to tell their kids across the culture. I am from South Korea and Patrick's videos are the first that I realize I am not alone. Thank you so much as always.
This must have been painful to put up. You don’t usually post much about your father. I’m so sorry this happened to you. Thank you for being so strong and for helping people like me now.
🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼
The thing is, I never heard stuff like this but was shown this example. My parents were too covert to be so blatant. Which is why for years I thought I had a good childhood. Such a mind screw! Thanks to healers like you I finally figured out how selfish my parents are. Patrick, thank you.
"I'm your mother's first priority, all of you come second." We were 9, 5, and 3. What a great man, needing to outrank his literal children.
My dad would say almost the same, but it was "Your mom and I are the most important people, you all come after us." And gods does that fuck up self-image. Sorry you had to deal with that shit.
So heartbreaking!
It’s absolutely bizarre than men think wife is there just to look after them.
@@sajadazaman9384But that's how a narcissist is, they're childish devils that want others to mother them, but then they think thet can get away with heinous comments and behaviors,
not realizing this will snap back at them. But after all, they don't live in reality.
@@sajadazaman9384some women think that to men too
You are loved by us!!! I’m sorry you had to go through that sick crap. No child should be treated that way. You’re a bright light and a beacon of hope for all of us trying to heal our sweet and innocent inner child. ❤❤❤❤. Thank you for what you do!!
The fact that he still smiled throughout his life despite the mean words his father said 💔😢
You do a lot of good work for people! And I'm thankful for the work you've done. Your journey is touching and inspiring!
You already know you are someone you can be proud of. We each get to choose who we want to be, if we want to live more in fear and hate, or more in joy and love. You done good, and you know it. ❤️
Patrick, my heart is moved with compassion for you and I just want to run to little Patrick and hug him with a safe, secure hug. And all those who suffered from destructive words spoken by so-called "adults" who had no business being a parent! You are AN OVERCOMER AND ARE HELPING SO SO MANY DO THE SAME!!! I am GRATEFUL TO GOD FOR CONNECTING YOU WITH THE RIGHT THERAPIST WHO TRULY UNDERSTOOD YOUR PAIN AS A CHILD THAT LEFT SCARES DEEP WITHIN YOUR SOUL. NO CHILD SHOULD EVER HAVE TO ENDURE SUCH TREATMENT, ABUSE. LET'S CALL IT WHAT IT IS: A B U S E.
“You should just work with your hands.” 🥁 Thank you for expanding yourself and amplifying your voice! Your groove is in the ❤️.
You looked like such a vibrant and happy young man. I'm glad you didn't let his words get to you.
Im sure they did, but fortunately he had enough defiance to make himself into a better man than his father ever was.
Seriously?
Oh Patrick I'm so sorry he put you through that, my mom was like that too not all the time but enough to scar me for life and my dad would just walk away when it happened
All kids deserve parents, but not all parents deserve kids😢😢😢😢
“Once I’m a millionaire I’ll leave you and your mom on the streets.”
"I'd rather be poor than to be with you."
If somone said something to you like that, then they will never become a millionaire
Sweetie that’s not how capitalism works
"I'll beat you until the cops get here you little shit"
"I made a mistake on May 4th, 2008." (That's when I was born.) :D
Thank you for posting this very tender post, Patrick. I’m sure it wasn’t easy. I am so sorry that your dad was so horribly abusive and was utterly blind to the gift he was given to have you for his son. I wish I could have known you back then & been your friend in school. No one deserves to be treated like that, yet so many of us were. You are an inspiration for all of us. You are helping thousands of souls and families. I’m so thankful you got away from those who didn’t know you or love you. God bless you for all you are doing to help others.
They put us down, insult us, and mistreat us, and then wonder why we’re depressed…
Ty exactly my point
@@michelledickson2155fr😢 I feel bad for him
Don’t be, you have to live long enough to be the one that sees them in a nursing home
@@Aryan-qv5qk 🤣🤣
Totally relate
Wow, this made me cry. I heard all of these things and thought there must be something so wrong with me. I felt such shame for being such an embarrassment to my family because they must be right or why else would they say it. My sister said all of those things to me and that I was so ugly I would never be successful in life. How can you treat your little sister that way. I’ll never understand. She was relentless. She ruined any chances of friendships with her lies to the community where I grew up. It’s a type of evil that people cannot understand unless they have been through it and lived through it. Decades later the confusion and the pain are still there as to why. Oddly enough, I did do well in life and even though people tell me I’m attractive I will never see it because she drilled into me that I was hideous. I severed ties years ago and would say that had I not done that I can’t imagine where I would be today. She would’ve broken me more than likely. God literally picked me up and carried me through the horrible ordeal of recognizing and understanding what narcissistic personality disorder truly is and how evil the demon within these people truly is. My heart goes out to each and every person brave enough to post a comment about their story and to survive what they should never have had to endure. It was wrong. It was a crime. You deserved better.
This was so viscerally powerful; the music, the pictures of earnest young Patrick through the years, the searing words on his yearning soul and the great impact he’s having now, unstoppable. Thank you.
You’ve helped me more than you’ll ever know. I wish there was a way to go back and give that little boy a hug, and tell him that when he’s free from his abusers that life will be amazing. Wishing you all the best, Patrick ❤️ you deserve the world
Your an inspiration. There is No excuse get up dust of all those Generational curses an make life work better for you. It starts with a promise to yourself....I can and I will ❤
You were the cutest kidddddddd omgggggg ❤️ thank God u found the truth beyond the lies 🙏🏽
"your beneath me" *"no, I'm above you and you will burn down there. How's it going?"*
Look how adorable you are! Who couldn’t love a face like that? Thank you for sharing, you’re an inspiration for me in my pursuit of a counseling degree.
❤️👏
The amount of pain and emotion that exudes from this brief video is astounding. Powerful.....
You've helped and continue to help myself and many others heal. I can't even express how grateful I am for you and what you do for all of us.
Thank you for not letting their weaknesses stop you from learning and teaching all of us how to heal and be strong.
Thank you very much for sharing such vulnerable insights. It touched my „mother- heart“ and tears came to my eyes for the first time. Then I read the comments and had to cry… thank you not only for sharing, but also for bringing together this wonderful supportive people/ community. It is inspiring to see what you were able to turn this experience into!! Hugs from Europe, Germany
Oh. My god. I am so sorry for everything he put you through first of all.😢 *But* that mic drop of a win at the end; you sure showed him. And I am not saying that's why you did it either, no, not at all. I just absolutely love how he never succeeded in tearing you down in the end. You made it fresh out the other side-- and now you are even helping others to do the exact same thing. Real legends aren't common, they are rare. But *you sir* are an absolute legend. I'm sorry for you then, just a sweet young boy trying to grow up in the world, but you're a strong and accomplished man now, and it's so well deserved and looks great on you. A round of applause for you!!!!👏👏👏
💖
I’m so sorry you had to deal with that. That was just cruel.. I can’t imagine how much that must have hurt you. I hope you’re doing well and I’m so proud of you!! Thank you for helping other people with their experiences as well. Keep up the great work, and never give up!!
I'm so sorry he said so many horrible things to you. You didn't deserve to be treated or thought of that way. Thank you for helping others. You've helped me immensely.
Thank you for sharing this. Unfortunately there are people who should never be parents but are. 🙏❤️
then they hit you with the "why don't you visit me t the nursing home"
I see that little boy and feel sick that you heard those awful things. You are such a good resource for me and so many others and we think you are amazing!
funny how once kids start to recognize abuse, suddenly parents call that "angsty"!!
That’s what happened with me. And my parents wonder why I don’t come over anymore.
It's curious that they call it angsty, because angsty is just what happened in the french revolution. Angsty happens for a reason, not because it's natural to become rebel for no reason.
@Alex-up6on I’m so sorry. You were just a kid. You didn’t deserve that.
“Who’s ever going to want to marry her? Just look at her” “you are nothing and will always be nothing “ “you’re not my daughter, you’re too stupid to be my daughter” “you see that homeless bum? That’s where you’re headed, that’s your future!” Things said to me by my parents. Super fun!
Parents dont know how to support kids, i will never say this to mine
Well, look at you now.
You’re amazing.
And where are they now? I bet they’re exactly where they said you’d be heading.
Asian parents by any chance?
You're parents are so naive and clueless if they think that of you! 🤣 You're obviously a smart, beautiful young women deserving of love and care. You will be so successful that when their old asses are sitting in the retirement home they will come begging you for money and a better life!
You are not any of those things , you have never been and you will never be .
And that little boy’s bravery gives me strength in my hardest, most troubling, fucked up moments where I just don’t know what to do. You’re a superhero Patrick.
Amazing Patrick! I am so grateful that you now have the wonderful life that you are so intended for. And I am so grateful that you are passing that gift along to the rest of us! Thank you always for your gift!
This is horrible that someone would say things like that to a child. My mother had a horribly abusive stepfather, and I myself had a bio father who left us while I was two or three months old and was lucky enough to have a blind stepfather who loves and cares for us. I wish all children could have good parents like mine.
"Every child deserves a parents, but not every parent deserves a child."
-a grateful heart
I heard similar stuff growing up. Thanks for opening my eyes to the fact that this abuse is more common than I thought, not just my weird secret. I really appreciate you showing us tools to heal ❤️
This makes me want to cry🙏🌺💜🌈🥲
Every child is precious beyond measure 💎
Thankyou Patrick for sharing this!!
You really do help people and you are very brainy !!
Seeing this makes me just wanna hug this poor, strong child. I can see the pain in your eyes. And than I realise that I went through the same shit and that I struggle to love my own inner child..
Children are so incredibly strong! We were able to grow up while our parents were tearing us down.
So proud of us! ❤️
You were destined to rise above your father and every person you help is one more middle finger to him. Thank you.
He looked very cute as a child 😢. How could someone talk to a child like that, it's JUST unreal 😮
My father wouldn't talk to me the last 10-15 years of his life. Thank you for helping others.
Oh my god Patrick all the sadness your precious eyes let through, even though your mouth is smiling. We are so lucky to have you. Your help is inestimable. God bless you🙏🏻🌟
What I noticed right away from the verbal abuse I received, was that it never pertained to me. I didn’t know the word “projection” back then, but I recognized the pattern, and once I learned of the word, it was instant validation of everything I’d endured! That LABEL was everything! Same when I learned the words “psychopath,” “pathological liar,” and many others that we use in the narcissistic abuse education & recovery community.
It helped that neither of my parents were accomplished people-as narcs, of course they thought they were ENTITLED to “everything,” so they were frustrated by their reality, but they could never make me feel bad w/ the contents of their speech, since none of it was EVER true.
I’m grateful to have been born self-aware & truth-oriented, and also for having ZERO proclivities for codependency-even as a kid who had nowhere and no one else to turn to, I never sought my parents’ approval. It was THEY who didn’t meet my minimum standards for what I wanted in the humans I chose for my life.
It still drains your life force to have to endure living in an all-narc family. Amazing that I survived, even if I wished daily that I wouldn’t live to see another day, as early as 2nd or 3rd grade. So many people don’t realize that some kids are in situations where they essentially HAVE to consider suicide, given the inescapable & unrelenting conditions of their life.
Yes! Your phrase, drains your life force to endure living in an all narc family, really really speaks to me. I’ve got dad, mom, brother and grandma. It’s terrible when they somehow gang up to put you down and you feel like your only option is to just not say anything.
One day, I’ll make it out of this. Or die trying.
I randomly clicked just reading the title and when I got to the end and realized it was you, I was so moved. You have helped so many people with their traumas and overcoming their abuse and it’s sad and shocking to learn that this was at your core 😢
Thank you for sharing and you’ve given us so much courage bc of this.
I’m in awe of your strength for turning this negative into a huge positive and your compassion for others, God bless.
I was abused by my father as an adolescent. It took a heart attack and emergency open heart surgery and the wisdom of a total stranger in the form of a hospital roommate to awaken my father as to what he had. " You have a great family!" By this time in my life I didn't want a relationship with him. Avoidance was the best solution to the problem.
Omg, I didn’t even recognize you! Aw, that’s why you’re such a sweetheart. I feel like the sweetest ppl have been through a lot.
Healthy people lift their kids up, (as well as our inner child). and that is what you and many healing people do. we give ourselves and our inner and outer child that love cos we heal ourselves. ❤
And you rock Patrick, thank you!
Just because someone is smiling doesn’t mean they are happy that sadness is hidden in their heart...❤
Yep it’s called: masking
Aww sending love to that wee child that was you Patrick. No child should ever be spoken to like that 😢
And the help is so appreciated. Your tapping video was recommended to me by my professor and it helped me manage my panic attacks.🥰🥰💕💕💕
This is true for most people, I used to know a friend in school who his dad would yell at him all the time. We eventually told the guidance counselor, his father was gone afterwards. This makes me remind me about that kid, that he never gave up, and no one else should. Remember, you are not alone.
Wow, incredibly inspirational. A lot of people will relate to both the verbal/mental abuse and the photos and take heart from seeing/hearing you now. A great example of the movement from awhile back aimed at teens about how, "it gets better" after high school or whatever. When you have only been alive 15 years, and 2/3 of it (the formative years no less) are a living hell, it is hard to imagine how the passing of time turns down the volume on those years and if, like you, a young person can use the shit from their childhood as fertilizer then they can cultivate the healthiest most fruitful life that others will line up to learn your gardening skills and eat well for life, if you follow my metaphor. So thank you for not throwing a dinner party but instead teaching us not just how to cook but to grow our own food.
Yep I'm a lil bit in love with my analogy there lol. Apt! Ty 🥰
Patrick..you are a bright light to the world... healing others😊❤❤❤ and your words reach others and me. Mentally ill people hurt others... you never deserved neglect only care and love. I get it. ❤ you found an escape...an oasis... music ...creative...counseling. thank you. ❤
I actually was able to live with my abusive father a few years ago when I had nowhere to stay and was doing terribly mentally. I got to see, from an adults eyes, what he treated me like when I was little because he had more kids of his own with another woman, and I saw how he spoke to and treated them. He frequently would ask them "what the hell is wrong with you?" Every time they made totally normal mistakes that were developmentally appropriate for their ages. I got to see how it affected them, and those children, too, were extremely hurt by the way me step-dad was treating them.
Needless to say, now in my adulthood, I cannot shake the feeling that something is profoundly wrong with me, even though I am hardly different from the average person.