Boys play video games. Boys play Magic Cars and Dungens and Dragon. Men assume responsibility. Men take a leadership roll. I would've started the dishes already but then again I am a man, not a little boy who needs to play GTA.
@LiFsWo it's a discussion that happens a lot. "Hey, can you help me?" "Umm, I can help you later cause I'm tired" "Ohhh, YOU think you are the only one tired?" And all the sudden all those times you didn't do the thing are brought up and so you get defensive and throw your issues in as well and yall fight and no one washes the dishes lmao
Yeah, it's probably inevitable to experience something like this in ur life, don't even have to be in a relationship, just be in the same room with your parents while they are arguing
It's not so much that, rather its studio and marketing executives go 'well this won't help the film make money so remove it'. Script writers WANT to make hard hitting stuff, but they're always held back by the people with money who want to make more money. And since the script writers are under contract and want to make money and not be fired...They have to do what these idiot executives say.
I have heard this sharing from a very old grandpa talking about his life long marriage. He said in the house deviding work wasn't necessary, if we see something to do, we do it. If our parter is tired, we help them. If we are tired, they help us, even when nobody likes doing the work. That's called responsibility with our marriage, our partner. The sharing really changed my life. Sorry my English is not very good.
@supercomputadora ego isn't the problem at all. They have no harmony and they don't show appreciation towards each other. She feels as though she is giving much more than what is returned towards her, which is unfair to her, and he feels like no matter what he gives it will never be enough. Both of them are struggling with futility and it causes backlash in their relationship.
The thing that I’ve always felt makes The Break-Up stand out is that there is no stereotypical happy ending. In every single romcom/romance movie like this, they will get back together. He would see the error of his ways. She would come to believe she was being too hard on him. And they’d get back together. The end. The Break-Up had the balls to not do that. She stands her ground. He eventually actually changes. They each thrive in their jobs and in life-separately. You come to see that they weren’t right for each other, and they end up going their separate ways. That’s life. And a very valuable lesson.
I loved that about this movie, it wasn't cliche and predictable. It was very real. Sometimes that is how it is, you might still love the person and care, but you are not right for the other person.
Actually I'd push back on that lesson. Them turning things around then breaking up is a realistic depiction of people's unrealistic* standards ruining healthy commitments. Compatibility is important. Culture, interests, beliefs, politics, etc. but if being willing to do the work isn't the main compatible trait, it's a empty relationship that a couple settles with or they walk away from. Basically loving someone is enjoying the best they have to offer and accepting their flaws within reason. The best way I can put it is we as individuals don't have all the talents we want, or raised by the family we want, or have the fertility to start the family we want, or get to live in the time period we want, or have the career we want and so on. But it would not be plausible for us to end our live because of what we lack... you haven't given up on yourself because you aren't everything you want to be. Why expect everything you want from your lover?
Something that I’ve always liked about the ending is that I’ve seen it differently depending on where I am in my personal life. The first time it was an always encounter of exes doing the “dance” just to never speak again. I’ve seen it as two people who once knew each other and acknowledging the change they each went through but it ultimately still ending there. I’ve also seen it as two people who separated because of their unwillingness to meet and agree upon a middle ground now coming back and potentially seeing enough change to want to do it again.
Growing up my father would say " I shouldn't have to tell you every time to do something you should Just take it upon yourself and decide to do it without being asked" its not about waiting its about observing and caring for another showing empathy this goes for ANY relationship not just a couple but parents uncles grandparents siblings cousins etc.
@@leafyishereisdumbnameakath4259 Yeah, women are always told they are nagging if they point out the problem. My mom stopped trying to do that. I already knew as a child that my father won't change and that it's not worth it for my mom to keep getting into fights with him. Most guys won't do their share and honestly women are also at fault for raising their boys in a way that they become such crappy husbands. If we stop raising boys into pampered princes, we will have more equality someday.
When you start being in love, atleast in a man perpective you do ANYTHING for your girl, but after some times seeing she doesn't do the same thing back, you start getting tired, you are not in love anymore, sure u "love her" (in my country those are 2 different word "amar" y "querer") but you aren't as excited to be with her anymore, guess whose fault it is, hers!! i would say 75-80% of relationship who start fine fail cause woman don't have the urge to be reciprocal and they don't even try, man are programmed to take care about his wife and the children that come after, woman are only programmed to take care of the children, we are animals, some of us are less animal, and other are more animal, but guess it's what it is, i wish i was gay like my father (he is bi) even if things can break apart anyway, 2 man loving each other unconditional is bound to last more than a woman-man relaitonship when more often that not, the man is the only one loving unconditionally Like i read sometimes, the only woman who loves a man unconditionally is your mother
Man you must be deaf because she has been making sacrifices for him by doing things he has wanted to do but yet won't go do anything that she wants to do.
@@albertotrigosbueno5547I hope you read the comment under yours. It seems like you have a heavy confirmation bias right now. You really believe and want to believe in what you’re saying, so that’s what you see. You also act in a way that encourages those events to take place. What you’re really doing is treating every woman like they’re the same person. It would be better for everyone if you’re bi, yeah. Because you obviously are unable to see women as individual people right now, equal to yourself in intelligence and emotional capacity. That doesn’t lend itself to a good relationship. You should do some reading and stop listening to Andrew Tate. Men giving out relationship “advice” that’s just hating on women as a collective because none of their relationships have ever worked is far too common and far too believed. They speak out of an illogical and ignorant pain they don’t even realize they’re feeling because they think it’s manly to suppress and ignore feelings. Don’t listen to them. Find more perspectives from women and from all other walks of life. It will help you to see others as human.
😔 This is called a **communication backlog** "I feel uncomfortable when our home is dirty, for example when we let the dishes rot in the sink for hours." "Sometimes when I'm stressed out, I just need to sit down and play videogames for half am hour." "You propably just don't know how to express it, but sometimes it seems like you don't notice the efforts I out into this relationship. It would make me feel very appreciated if you took initiative to help me now and then." "I got your grocery list. Is there anything on it that's critical, in case I run short on something?" "I need twelve lemons. Exactly twelve lemons. These are the reasons I need them for. I'm aware that not even the army does issue out orders without making sure their soldiers understand the greater context of the mission, so this is the reason why we'd need exactly twelve lemons." "You said on our very first date that you don't like flowers. I want to show you my appreciation, but I struggle to come up with ways to do this. What's something you'd be very happy if I got them for you?" "Honestly I don't care about flowers one way or the other. It's the gesture that makes me happy. If you like gifting me flowers, that's still making me happy." "Honey, could we please do anything else but the ballet? Like, you don't want to go with me to Ann Arbor either. Maybe you go watch the ballet with your girlfriends, I go to Ann Arbor with my buddies, and we try to find something else we'd both enjoy doing on a date together?" "Honey, I'm working really hard all day to make money for us. It doesn't seem like you appreciate me doing this. Are you unhappy with how we have structured our relationship? Would you want us to do things differently?" "Can we sit down and have a conversation please? You've talked to me about the mess in the bath, about how my wardrobe doesn't match, about how I'm not working out - it seems we've got a mismatch in our priorities. Can we please try to sort this out so that we're able to get on the same page regarding what matters to us?" These are all things that should have said well before this fight. Propably weeks, months or years before it If you don't do it, then scenes like this happen
You should teach a Masterclass in basic communication, cuz it’s baffling how many people don’t know how to do it. And then other people who would rather be single than put in the effort to learn
@dandansoysauce8762 Why thank you, you are very kind. Though I'd say that knowing what to say and how to say it is propably at best 20 percent of it. More important is to have the courage to speak up when things don't seem right. The humility not to assume you already know perfectly how "right" would look like. The kindness to allow your partner to formulate their thoughts stupidly (and maybe even offensively) without jumping at them the moment the missstep. And the wisdom to select for a partner who does the same. With that, it doesn't seem that important how to say things. Which is good, because it means we can learn as we go and stumble towards the light stupidly. But it also means that knowing how to say things won't save you. If you're the only one in your relationship who's actually communicating, then you might as well not bother.
if i was the girl i’d say “it’s not about the damn dishes. I feel as If you don’t really give enough effort to help me. I feel like the effort is unbalanced.” straight to the point
The problem with these kinds of question is that it sound artificial and fake if you talk like that in reality. It sounds pre-planned, almost set up. I had a reacher who talked like that in highschool and I had trouble respecting him because I could tell he was faking his communication. He was not being sincere. You know the one good thing about fights like the one seen in the video is that it shows peoples true side, their true patterns of thinking and behaviour just as it comes naturaly. Teaching people to communicate respectfully and constructively is one thing but you cannot teach them to have acctuak empathy. You see, there is the one issue that I always had with the concept of respect: It somthing that you only need in situations where your actual thoughts and feelings are full of hate but you can't express them due to social convention and I personally would rather have it that someone yells their honest and genuine hatred into my face than put up a facade of respect for tge sake of it.
I didn't pay attention to the argument, all the time what I could think about is that CJ is left alone while the police sirens started, luckily Vincent paused the game, though the 1 star rating he got raised my anxiety a bit
It's not about dishes, lemons, or even ballet. It's about the principle of gratitude, taking the initiative and showing your love and support in a way your partner wants. A lack of attention to detail, a lack of desire to help her, etc., makes someone feel unwanted and unloved. When we analyze literature, we search for details that make up the story's entirety. Similarly, it's these little details that make or break a relationship.
Her attitude demonstrates she has no gratitude or support to him. he is not the one making demands after demands. Yes, its not about the dishes. they are both tired. why can you acknowledge she needs care but never consider he does and instead stir the pot. because you ask for love, desire to help, desire to care but offer none yourself. he asks for none. bottom line, she stirred the pot, he is passive and she is the aggresor cause her argument is fueled with emotionality and he is too tired to have any of it, but she is tired but always has strength to lash out at someone for her feelings and strain. he is not lashing out at her for his feelings and strain instead he plays A HOOD CLASSIC, GTA SANDREAS, ITS CJ FROM SANDREAS WOW! Maybe she should unwind and play some games with him and stop thinking that her husband does not have feelings and energy to, that her feelings are always paramount, be considerate instead of always demanding and expecting consideration and love while giving expressing none yourself but the opposite. sadly this is easy but too many are afraid to criticize women or tell her, no , it is not all about your immediate desires.
@@TheDreadedLion The thing is that both people in this relationship (in this case, a man and a woman) are BOTH stupid and ignorant. One of them could've paused and say "Wait, time out..... Let's really hear eachother out..." But none of the parties do because both are selfish and they both feel unloved by the other. It happens to all genders but we tend to see a bias against men because men are taught to ignore all things emotional to strive for physical gains (money, power, physique) and then get confused when his partner (usually a wife) would feel neglected. And women are often discouraged from being upfront (bc they'd be b-tchy or high maintenance) so they make the mistake of dropping hints and then get resentful when the hints that others aren't conditioned to pick up (usually men) are overlooked. This isn't an inherent man vs woman issue. It's a miscommunication and the lack of (emotional) respect for your partner issue.
And i Garauntee you the reason he doesn't do the dishes is because she wants. Them done HER way. Any other way and shes nagging and berating him. So he stops even trying. Because no matter what he does its wrong. She mentioned hint which hints Don t work because he cant read minds and any hint can be interpreted in 10,000 different ways. She was clearly the problem. She demanded to be over the household then got mad because she was expected to do them..just like she wanted.
You know, I started feeling like this about my wife. I too like to decompress by playing game or watching tv after work. But she also does not like doing dishes or putting away laundry or cleaning litter boxes, ect. But when I came home she would always ask me to do these things as soon as i walk in the door, despite her getting home well before i did. We both work full time jobs so I was getting very frustrated about it. At the time I worked 4, 10 hour days so I think she felt that since i had a 3rd day off that I could just do everything myself. I dont know, I was very angry about it. But then one day, I made us a nice dinner and sat her down and explained how i was feeling. I told her I felt like I was putting more into maintaining our home than she was and that I was tired after work and didnt want to do the things and that I DO have an extra day off but thats because I wake up at 5am and dont get home till 530 mon through tursday and I would really like to not have to spend my entire day off catching up on daily chores every week. We had a long conversation, no yelling, no tears. And she started making more of an effort and stopped bothering me after work, and I agreed to spend a few hours of my extra day off every week cleaning litter boxes and doing laundry. And thats how your supposed to solve this stuff.
@@Soulessblur you can't talk people into caring about you or changing if they don't think it's important enough. To add more context, at this point they have been dating and own the place together that they live in. This isn't addressing the issue for the first time, this is the night that finally broke the camels back of the relationship.
@@SoulessblurNot just communication, but compassion for the other. Not being self centered about your own needs being met or unmet, but genuinely caring for the need of others too. Then, finding a balance through communication
Yeah well it can get ugly with the wrong person. But it can be the very best thing in your entire life when your other half is loving and caring. Just remember to keep doing what you were already doing when living on your own. I wonder why some men complain about chores when they have to do them no matter what when left on their own. I always found that the stupidest thing ever. Breaking up with someone who'd like the chores shared, just to end up doing it on your own anyway...
They aren't at the beginning of the relationship for that to be required. They should be well aware of their personalities by now to know without it having to be said. So the fact that they don't really know each other is a giant red flag.
That happens when you are fake when starting the relationship. But unfortunately, many are attracted to the most superficial things aka faking, then start the relationship, and after the while the reality strikes them hard
It's still a BS, when someone yells at/tries you for getting 3 instead of 12 lemons and not saying from which store or at least explains why TWELVE LEMONS and thinkin in advance that's a chance there are no more than 3 lemons left ... Then it's pretty obvious you're well obliged to explain why the idea of buying lemons is a potential time wasting activity
One of the most painful movies I have seen. The Break-Up. Taught me a lot about relationships. Lucky to have been in one for a long time now. It’s important to be compassionate for each other and never take each other for granted.
But men are different- they want to help, but they usually need to be asked. Women say “I’m tired” but really mean “I don’t have the energy to clean up” - neither partner is wrong- they just don’t get it and they judge the other 😢
@@DragonMasterDwayne it is sad brother but as men we have to come to the terms that most women are not worth it anymore I have been cheated on multiple times I trust no women keep your head up king 👑💯
@@Menareinlovewomenareinbusiness I will and I truly do understand you... In time, with God's grace, we all will heal... This course of action by real men must stand firm and committed to make sure that American Modern Women are held accountable for the mistreatment of men, not just in America, but worldwide, a reckoning has come... 🫡🫵🏽🦁🙏🏽✝️⛪🍂🏡🦃🍽️🥧❤️🔥
It's so sad that the problems in their relationship could've been solved if they simply understood each other. She, clearly, wanted him to be there for her. She wanted him to see her, talk to her, act sweetly with her. Basically, she wants a husband not a roommate. He, on the other hand, wants her respect, appreciation and kindness. He wants her to see him and appreciate him for his hard work. Basically he wants a wife not an alarm clock. They both want things all men and women want in a relationship, and of course, you give and take in a relationship. Not here though, and it's sad that this is the reality nowadays 😔
@@maniacviperk I totally agree, it's better to stay quiet when you get angry, then talk about your issue when you calm down. I think it is also OK yo allow someone you love (that can be anyone a friend, a spouse, a sibling etc) to vent their anger (even if its about you) gof a while, then talk to them calmly about your side of thing and apologise and do better next time. But that's just me opinion. Feel free to share your opinion 😊
@@Butterfly-wz6qj agreed mostly hehe, just depends on how much in the tank of patience is left in the receiver of the anger, I'm getting better slowly in receiving anger and not immediately venting out my frustration but its still difficult to be a guru that just came down from the peaks of the Himalayan mountains, might be even more cranky due to exhaustion if I did that I'd imagine hehe
failing to plan is just planning to fail. you're just a creature of habit. you're no different. you still don't understand what she was after, and she STILL didn't communicate well enough with her man in order to receive it. "i want to you want to do things for me without me asking for it!". jfc imagine solving everyones issues on the internet. wasn't there a trumpet in that hitchikers guide to the galaxy that just shot the person with the ability to understand your feelings. crazy how relevant that movie is.
My husband and I diffuse situations like this all the time by LISTENING to each other and being straight with what we want. Husband says, "I'd like 20 minutes of quiet when I get home after a long day at work," and I hold my tongue to give him that time to recharge even though I have a laundry list of things to tell him. The list can wait. HE comes first. Then I also want help with certain tasks being done or when his music is too loud from time to time, instead of "dropping hints" and hoping he notices, I'm straight with him and say, "hey, would you turn that down please?" Or "can I have 5 minutes of your attention? This thing needs doing." And he gladly obliges because I come first to him. He never has to LIKE doing anything, and I never have to LIKE waiting to tell him all that I need to tell him. But we love each other more than we love our daily objectives. And we SPEAK to each other instead of playing mind games and letting it build up to a volcanic eruption. It's hard work, but it makes for a most peaceful and rewarding marriage.
@ challenge accepted. We sought the advice of couples who have been happily married 30, 40, 50+ years, and we are following their advice which across the board was identical, reliable, and promoted healthy communication. Not sure how living healthy lives would result in divorce, especially when we are doing things differently than the average couple these days, but if we fail in 3 years, I'll get back to you and gladly admit you were right.
@@BeyondTrash-xe1vs thanks! I've learned that if you want to succeed in any area, listen to those who have also succeeded and pay no heed to the words and "advice" of those who are failing.
This was a great movie. My favorite scene was when Gary was with his buddy (John Favreau) in his bar after closing and at that point Gary still was blaming Brooke for everything and had yet to realize all of his faults, and when Favreau's character showed him his faults, his expression was priceless. It wasnt just his romantic relationship that was affected by his selfishness, it was all of his relationships in his life.
The title is so true. Watching this is bringing up so many emotions. My god, it's scary what comfort zone can do to you, turning an amazing relationship into a cohabitating trap. It's ok though, we learn and we move on.
It is not actually funny. Nobody wants to do the dishes, but we do want help doing the dishes because it needs to be done and the fact that he could not bring himself to help her so that he could spend time with her so that they could have responding moments of a life together that’s evidence of his outer lack of care and selfishness. And she should’ve been far more explicit in her desires for companionship in the small mundane things of living life together.
The heat is often kinda predictable. So... you just don't use "conflict generator" phrases as answers. And the most important: if you want to chill, invite her to chill together ("Just leave the dishes, I'll clean them" - and you do clean them after you chill together). Works for me for 14 years))
Brilliant! He could have defused the, “You don’t care about me.” Argument if he invited her to relax with him. Then they could argue about the thing (doing the dishes now versus later) rather than the feeling (you don’t care about me).
@@AndreiGeorgescu-j9pyou're her slave? Bro it was obvious she was the only one that does anything cleaning/cooking related in the house AND has a job. All she wanted, and communicated very badly was some attention.
watched The Break-Up a few years ago and had no reaction to this scene. years later when I rewatched it again, it hit me like a train. this is too relatable 😭
All that the man asked was to wait for few more minutes.....he never said he wasn't gonna do that!!!....How come no one understand what men try to say???
This is my favorite movie from both of them. I love how tragic it was. And how at the end, they both finally got it. And dated people who looked just like the other hahahahaa
It's called Weaponized Incompetence, Poor Communication, and a lack of Fulfilling each Others' Love Tank. There are things as adults that you just recognize you have to do, there are wants and needs that separate us, and in the end if you can't do what it takes to make someone else feel loved and feel loved back... it ain't gonna work
"fulfilling each other's love tank" is the apex terminology of...whatever this BS is called. Modern psychotherapeautization of sexual relationships? Yeah, that sounds good.
This is not weaponzied incompetence, stop using terms you don't understand. A honest mistake in the case of the lemons, and a personal preference in the case of dishes. Neither is incompetence or weaponzied.
Exciting video, A year ago I took the no contact route, well i wouldnt say it didnt go well, but i missed her and sometimes you have to leave your comfort zone and go for what you want, Without knowing and having a huge ego, we might actually miss out on our soul mate all in the name of not settling for less, I know who i am, and at the same time i know what i want for me, so i did all i could to get her back, and I must say, it was the best decision i have ever made, we have been together again for over 7 months, yes marriage isnt always rosey, but i am lucky to have her, just as she is to have me, we compliment each other.
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i am in a similar situation, and i do not know what else do to have him back, i have been dying inside, people actually think i am happy, i am not.
I feel your pain sister , after trying out the no contact experiment that failed miserably, i had to find other means, i had to reach out to a spiritual adviser, it was brilliant idea which i never thought it was, but it worked wonders for me.
I have done dishes wth my wife for over 50 years. I am thankful that she is great at keeping me fed and helping with the dishes is the least I can do. This fellow does not appreicate the blessing his wife is in his life. He is no gem in her life for sure.
This is not a one sided affair. They both have issues and are both the problem here. I'm sure even you had days where you didn't want to do them, but you and your wife were probably better communicators than these two
@delusionofillusion473 I've seen the movie. They started out doing a bunch of stuff together and he was happy to help all the time. Once you live with someone for a while, the magic can start to fade. They both have a responsibility to put in and make it work. He wasn't doing his part, true. He got lazy, complacent. But she didn't communicate her honest feelings and what she needed from him clearly
Clean is subjective. It does not bother men that a spoon sits in the sink till the morning. Only women who are constantly performing for others think it's a sign of being dirty or being unprofessional in your own home. 😂
Absolutely. A clean and tidy home benefits… helping us feel better mentally, we can relax better, it’s calming, it takes stress out of finding things, and encourages good daily habits, it burns energy which is also good for us and if we keep on top of it, it’s not a big thing, still lots of time to relax after. (This is how am raising my kids). Whilst I personally don’t need a show home, I will make my bed in the morning, fold my clothes and do dishes last thing, because the chaos of mornings with kids means I don’t need those extra tasks of extra crusted crockery looking for me when my cortisol is at its peak 😂. When we all pitch in, we are a team. Being conscientiously organised without an immediate ‘pay off’ is a skill, and it takes practice (some people need more practice than others!) but is an indicator of human maturity.
Respect and empathy is the key. The men who are usually dependent on their moms for household chores are the one who depend on their wives after marriage. Hence, mothers need to be careful while raising their son... They should make them work and give them the responsibility of contributing to taking care of the house.
Tho, why should it be the responsibility of the mother to raise the son in a decent manner? Should it not be the responsibility of the *parents*? Rarely is the father blamed for not being a better rolemodel and raising his son to contribute in a household, its always the mother needing to raise kids better. Just a small detail I think show how we still don't really hold fathers accountable in these cases
It's also the fathers. I've seen households where the children have chores, but the father does not. When these male children grew up and married they stopped maintaining their home because subconsciously they were taught that housework was the work of women and children. They internalized the belief that finances were a males contribution, and chores were a stand in until they could contribute financially. So mothers giving their sons chores does not necessarily remedy the situation.
@@katrinepedersen9660depends on the household but in a lot of cultures the moms can’t hold themselves back from trying to take care of everyone and making sure every other person is happy but themselves. So even if others wanna help they still want to be the only ones sacrificing. I 100% agree fathers/husbands/partners are also responsible for all this visions cycle cuz it must have started somewhere, but changes have to start somewhere and everyone should be taking the responsibilities.
Don't talk as if relationships are the problem. People who can't communicate are the problem. People are the problem. Just don't be the problem and find someone who isn't the problem.
I’m 24 years old and part of Generation Z. From the title "Modern Relationship Problems," I was expecting something I could relate to. However, I realized this is already an older movie, and the dynamics portrayed here remind me more of my parents' generation. Maybe it’s just my lifestyle, but I don’t relate to any of it. The world is changing so fast these days, just as modernity keeps evolving. I’m really glad about some of these changes, especially in the dynamics between men and women.
Something I realized is that with some people you may be doing things for the person, doing your chores, responsibilities etc for days, weeks, but then if once you stumble or don't do one thing the way they wanted they behave as if you never do anything etc, which is simply factually incorrect. The best thing I found is to ignore these bursts of anger and not fall for the guilt tripping.
For Men: Its good to take time out to help someone you love, even when they don't seem like they want it, need it, or ask for it. Women are actually even more prideful than men are and have a much harder time asking for help on things they want directly. This is why they resort to "hints". Their minds are not programmed to be that direct on things they care about. So when you can, take a moment to notice the tone of her voice, attitude and when she starts drifting into negativity, take a deep breath, step back and just ask her in the calmest voice you can to tell you what she's feeling and how can you help. She's not a man, don't try to talk to her like one. For Women: Its good to be direct when you can about things that truly do matter to you, even if it goes against your core traits and desires and makes you feel uncomfortable or "bitchy" to ask openly and honestly. Men are simple creatures who prefer clear-cut instructions and goals. A list, pictures, details does go a long way with a man and believe it or not, men do want to help, just gotta be direct and I can promise you, you'll get a guy who will be happy or at least a little indifferent about doing something, even if he doesn't want to do it. All in all, its easy to get absorbed into yourself after a long day. Ain't no body perfect and these fights will come up. Just, try to ask yourself if the way you're communicating is the best way to get your thoughts and feelings across without adding frustration to the mix and antagonising your spouse. You don't have to baby them, but don't let your anger steer the conversation with someone you care about, if you can help it. And if you can't, own up to it and apologize. Especially you, ladies! lol
and what should the woman do? if you are going to give advice to the fellas, try to also give something for the ladys so they can contribute something to the communication front, bc just giving hints(even if he does the things you said to do) is sometimes just not enough. lets work man and woman together at this, and not dump all the work to men. woman can do stuff to ;)
That was really well put, good faith goes a lot way and a sense of responsibility both for your partner’s wants and needs and your own or else you’ll become resentful. I have faith in my relationship and I think that’s what will allow it to endure and nourish our lives.
Maybe both felt underappreciated? We all do things expecting other people to value our efforts and when they don't, we frustrate. We should know what the other person really values before putting effort on things just because we believe they are gonna appreciate it.
Exactly. And it even goes for thing we do to show appreciation for the other person but not it a way they notice. For example, a guy can clean up the house for his girl to come home and not worry about it, but she comes too tired to notice it and just want to have time for herself with a beauty treatment (maybe because she thought about that all day at work and just wants to make herself feel pretty). Or a girl can prepare a good movie night for her man with some snacks, but when he comes home after work he just wants to play a game of his (maybe because he wants to continue where he left off so he can relieve some stress). 2 situations where they both mean well, both want to feel appreciated by the other, but their individual desires are not in the same place at the moment. It's not just about the communication, it's also about paying attention to see a bigger picture
I love your willingness to consider that there might not be a pure right and wrong but I find it interesting that you suggest that “they both want ”. It is possible that what he was dealing with was overstimulation and anxiety or other non-bad need. Wanting to sit and play at something low stress to restore emotional equilibrium is a very male thing but it is not exactly an emotional thing.
I don't think she was being unreasonable, but she was failing to communicate her issue. As a queer dude who spent most of my life in women's social circles, and later on making more male friends, the difference in communication styles is wild. Women's social spaces tend to be filled with a lot of subtle cues. You know that person, pay attention, and act according to what you read. You're sorta primed to be attentive without being prompted. I personally really like this. It makes me feel closer to someone when communication can largely be intuitive and based on knowing. But a tip to women, from a queer dude who tends to be with more "guy's guys", male social groups are a lot more emotionally guarded and by extension most men are primed to actively avoid reading into things too much. Social intimacy amongst men is filled with a lot more "lines". What her issue here was is simple: she feels that when you love someone, you should pay attention and see if theyre struggling, and that love should motivate you to want to do something about that struggle. Shes saying "it's not about the lemons" but failing to say it's about her not feeling that her wants and needs are taken seriously enough to warrant him doing the thing correctly. Getting the wrong amount of lemons makes her feel like he only really half listened. And that's partially on her. Shes prolly handling not feeling listened to by constantly nitpicking him, which is maladaptive and only going to make him (reasonably) less inclined to listen to her. Later in the argument they're both just throwing out absolutist "you never" and "you always" statements being people like to do that when they're fighting for a moral high ground.
You work 8hrs, your wife works 8hrs. Then you come home and you are expected to work additional hours doing chores at home while your wife chills? Where does that sound reasonable and fair? TBH solution is wife works as well and they pay someone else to do the house and food. Easy.
@@OzHunter Where in this situation was she going to chill? She asked him to help her with the dishes, meaning doing it together. She didn't chill. As she mentioned many times, she cleaned the house and cooked the meal after working all day. You clearly didn't get it either.
I totally agree with you. I don't think men and women are born different, but if you have been raised in certain way, you learn to communicate differently. Women are often told they should not be clear or pushy about what they want or need, they should not ask for things directly, cause that's selfish and they have to accomodate to others. Men often struggle "understanding women" because they don't get why they can't be more direct and explain things clearly instead of expecting other people to be mind readers. My partner is a guy who grew up playing the caretaker role in his house (older of three brother, single working mum..). At the beggining of the relationship he did the lemon things a lot: ", it's not that, it's not about that, you don't get It, that's not the point...". And he never explained what the point actually was. It drove me crazy, since I was programmed to "not read too much into things". Communication skills take a lot of time and effort. Five years later we still have our hard days, but so many more tools to get through any argument and solve It 😊
First of all you have absolutely no business bringing up your sexuality in a clip about dishes. Bottom line is they share a house they had friends over for dinner she cooked all he had to do was go okay? Let’s do the dishes together and that’s it. none of this nonsense or essays needed around to understand that you just have to help someone clean up.
Some people find socializing tiring and want to decompress afterwards before they get back to work. Some people want to finish the work so they can decompress. Neither one is wrong, but both can feel unreasonable in the other's eyes
@BingoNamo-gb8pz well that depends on if dishes being done 10-20 minutes later really is a deal breaker. If it is you'll never be compatible as the partner that wants to wait a while will either constantly disappoint the other, or will always be the one "compromising"
As a male, I sympathise with her on this one. Both work, both exhausted, he should share the responsibility for making the evening comfortable with making food, clearing up...and then relaxing. Guy was behaving like a young boy whose mother was spoiling him. Edit: Lot of snowflakes in this comment section thinking that men let the women do the work. First work, then pleasure, that's a real man's attitude, not these video gamers and keyboard warriors who expect "mummy" (wife/gf) to change their pampers while they fight against digital enemies, feeling like Hercules 🤣
You are right, they should help each other out. But to be fair, everyone needs some little time for their food to digest. All this happened not because he didn't plan to help but cas females generally don't have the patience to wait just 20mins for chores to be done.
@@SamBoxEthiopia This is clearly not just a one time thing or someone wouldn't get as angry about it. If someone gets so pissed about the other not doing the dishes, then that's because it's an ongoing problem.
It's not about the lemons, it's not about the flowers, it's not about the dishes, it's about the guy seeming like he's not invested in anything he does with his wife anymore, it's about him harrumphing every time he's asked to do one very simple, very easy thing, washing the motherfking dishes with his wife People, just put some intention into what you do with your partner and pay some attention to your relationship, i understand needing to relax after you came back from a long day, i relate, but that's definely not what's happening here, it looks like this guy hasn't been very checked into his marriage in a long time This isn't about the wife not saying what she means, it's about the husband only thinking about himself and just assuming hiw wife wants the same things, there has been no communication, no quality time, no appreciation, and frankly, no love in this marriage, i would absolutely hate to see myself become the greaseball in this video
If the only part of this that you could recognize was the woman's side then you missed the whole point. There is clear fault on both sides. Everything you said about the man's issue is completely correct. However, pretending like there isn't also fault on the woman's side here is foolish and I would guarantee you that the writers of this scene would agree. Communication is a two way street. If one person feels unappreciated, the problem can't magically fix itself. Someone needs to speak up and be direct. A married couple should have enough invested in their relationship that one partner can directly voice their concerns and issues to the other. In this particular clip, the man is guilty of being selfish and not thinking of his wife more, but the woman is guilty of letting it go on for long enough that it explodes into this kind of situation. And obviously, it's easier said than done, but if you bring this up and say something early on, it gets nipped in the bud and this kind of blow up argument never happens.
There are a tons of prick guys, but there are also tons of sweet guys who moves mountain for his wife and they don't get anything back, until they start loosing that desire, to all womans if u want to feel loved and cared maybe you should start doing it for your husband in the first place, woman are too used to just recieving and don't do nothing for his partner cause they can pick whoever guy they want, if u want a good relationship, work for it, don't expect a guy to love you and care for you forever without doing it yourself
This is what happens when people are immature and lack integrity. A person like that will take you for granted at the first opportunity and it won't stop. When you get the sense that you are wasting time and energy explaining yourself to somebody who is committed to misunderstanding you it's time to bounce. Most importantly, don't be that person, bring the best you to your relationship and keep on top of that hard work.
Why would you need someone to appreciate you having a job when as an adult that’s literally something you would already have regardless if you’re in a relationship. Then saying it’s so she doesn’t have to work when she wants to work. Clearly he never took the time to learn her. They needed to breakup, it was so toxic
Not really, he could be retired by now and just keeping the job and making the effort to support 2 people. If he could stop working and she maintains him because she loves to work that we great... which is what he's aiming for, and with that, support new family members
Seriously, and being like "I'm tired" When she literally worked the same amount as him, then came home and prepared a meal and hosted the party and then was doing the dishes... for as much as he expected her to appreciate his efforts, he sure didn't really appreciate hers.
Men do NOT want woman to work. I think more people need to realize this. A woman who earns her own money is a woman who can leave whenever she wants. She doesn’t financially depend on him. She isnt stuck. A woman who doesnt work also has more time to cater to a man. When a man says he wants to earn enough for the both of them, it’s not to do something nice for the woman. It’s for himself.
@@stylesrawExhaustion isn't a competition. A good partner give their partner a break when they need it, and in return that partner should fulfill their tasks after they've had their rest.
@@eeen4119 well, one note of that. Some of us DO want women to work rather than being their social benefit for life. Specially when they don't even cater to their husband and don't even do the house chores even being a housewife. They're just lazy bums taking advantage of the situation and being comfortable with it.
I watched that movie with my wife and the funny things happen even after. I did not go after her in one situation. My wife asked, "why the hell he did not go after her?" "she said, she wants to be alone." "Yes, but it is obvious that she wants to talk with him." "WTF? How should he knows that?" "That is obvious." ????? Another scene, similar situation, he goes after her. My wife: "What the hell is he doing? She needs to be alone now." "WTF??? First he should have gone after her and now he should left her alone?" "Yeah." "A moment ago you mentioned he should go after and now he does, why is it not correct now?" "Is is obvious!" "Nah"...
@@sb853547 You do not understand. A situation can be read differently (read the room). Only when things are communicated clear and in correct manner everyone understand the situation correctly. It is like woman say x, but they mean y. It was communicated x and not y. So the fault is on the side who communicated and not who received the communicated words.
Life is not a video game so why do you expect every situation to be predictable? If you approach life as "life" and not as a machine with pre programmed buttons you can see the clues that she sees.
And life is not a soap opera or a romance movie where everything is in a romantic way. Read the room? You know that situations can be interpreted in different ways, if things are not communicated clearly? That is the reason why hints do not work on Men. Woman to woman yes, but not to a stright Man.
Context I feel some people missed that are important: Right before this, her mother offered to help her clean, and he said no and then immediately sat down. This was a dinner for both families to meet each other. Also everyones saying its a communication problem that they both need to improve on- how much clearer can you get than "I asked for 12 lemons and you bought 3"
to be fair, the flower thing was awfully communiacated and the general "I want you to be there for me and do things spontaneously" thing was badly communicated. Like, when she finally talked about it, it was a screaming match. But yeah, the lemons thing was entirely well communicated, as well as the dishes (the way she speaks "I don't like to wake up to dirty dishes" sounds like it was a conversation they had before) he was just an idiot about those.
@andrellnogueira I think the flowers were more like a "you're so inconsiderate" moment where she's unfairly carrying the all house load, all without thanks. If they split the housework 50/50 it wouldn't be an arguement but she worked, cleaned the apartment and cooked to host a dinner for both families and he didn't even bat an eye. He even shooed her mother away who was offering to help. In my head, with two grown adults, communicating what needs to be done within the house doesn't make sense cause if you see an issue, fix it. If you notice the other person is doing more, acknowledge it(like with flowers). Those things shouldn't NEED to be communicated. The only time communication should be necessary is when you and your partner both have preferences for chores. Frankly, I have to acknowledge that that's a high expectation. Anyone who's been to a college campus would know how much grown adults can't do basic things.
@@BreakupBounce yes, over dishes. She’s this angry because this isn’t a one time thing. If you can’t see why he’s wrong then you should be single for life, no offense. Also, you shouldn’t be told to clean dishes YOU ate on. You shouldn’t be told to clean a house YOU live in. That should be common sense.
@@butterisout2699 If you think that your partner needs to do house chores when you want them done, then you should be single for life, no offence. The dishes will be done, but it doesn't mean that they will be done on your schedule. If you don't like the sink full of dishes, do it yourself. But if someone else said that they are going to do them, give them time to do them. And again, if you don't have the patience to wait, you are the problem.
@@BreakupBounce taking less than 5 min to do the dishes instead of leaving messes pil up is just common sense, I fear. You claim she doesn’t have patience but the truth is you don’t have empathy and consideration. The very reason so many men are lonely. It’s not about cleaning on “her schedule” lol bffr. Normal people are uncomfortable leaving messes behind and would feel more relaxed in a cleaned environment. If you can’t comprehend that as an adult then you are the problem. Just Be single, no offense.
Living with someone who doesn’t pull their weight but contributes to the mess is like being in a sinking ship and constantly having to dump water out. Keeping up with a house is not a joke and then after cooking a meal and hosting and working her own job, she does the dishes and he sits on the couch. If he got up and helped her it would probably take 15 minutes and during that time they could converse and connect and then he can go back to sitting on the couch and probably be left alone for the night and she will be helped and happy. 15 minutes is all that needed. He was being selfish because if he is tired from being on his feet and talking to people all day, that is what she did all day too 😂 and she was willing to be on her feet for longer to clean their shared space. For them. It’s hard to see why some are on his side, because he goes out and earns the money? 😂 she has a job as well.
@halolasomaster3900 the dishes were the tipping point to a persistent problem in their relationship. But ok lol, I guess I missed the point…which is what exactly??? You tell me.
I haven't watched the movie but reading through the comments , I feel some context will help which is that she chose to invent her friends and family over ,not him.If she's work through the entire day tired and still have to strain herself up by cooking for so many people which she invited them herself ,and then forcing somebody who also went through the whole day of work to clean up for her unwillingly, wouldn't it be unfair for him ? Also ,it's not that he is not washing the dishes ,he wants to wash it after he have some rest however she wants it done immediately. Wouldn't this make her very selfish and very toxic ? because her wanting things to be her way will have to neglect what the guy is feeling .
@@butwhy312You've clearly missed the point too my friend, they both have failings. The moment you make it a competition of right and wrong, you've become too immature to face it as is.
Ha, see that caught me by surprise. My ex came in with this same thing once. I paused the game and said "yeah no problem". She still blew up at me... With the exact words Aniston spoke? I just sat there and listened through all of it like a monologue and after she was done I said: "ok, now can I do the dishes?" Then she cheated on me and I figured it out
I mean it's pretty unfair for you to expect your partner to spend their whole day slaving away to support the household, and then coming home and doing the dishes too.
Telling him to do the dishes and then telling him to not do it once he said he'll do it was the correct thing to do? Telling him to not buy her flowers because it's a waste and then getting upset when he never got her flowers was also correct? Perfect example of damned if you do, damned if you don't.
@@Kevin_Oskar its about the gesture. No one wants to instruct their partner. If someone truly loves you he would get his lazy ass up help with the dishes and he might even get some head while playing his game? Men really really dont get how women work
@@doobie1414 Even women are confused about how women work. She told him to not give her flowers, and then got upset that he never got her flowers And he said he was going to do the dishes in a few minutes, but to her it was not soon enough.
@@foreverconfusedandkindacute There is a big difference in doing chores and doing chore on your time. Men want a wife not a mother, If you act like a mother you will get rebelled against as a mother. You are in a relationship. Relationship and household chores do not run on your time. If the dishes bother you, its your problem. If you are annoyed that your man is not doing the dishes when you tell him, its your problem. If you want a man to drop whatever he is doing and help you with the dishes, then you are the problem.
@@BreakupBounce mhm. Just make sure to not expect any woman to drop anything for you to do stuff on your time. After all, it's your problem, she doesn't need to cater to it. Give that energy. Get that energy. Stay safe out there.
@@foreverconfusedandkindacute If dishes bother me, i would never go "hey, drop everything and help me with the dishes" or "hey wake up, kids need breakfast" that's just childish. And that is the energy every man is looking for. Silly things like chores that don't need immediate attention can wait.
It’s not about the dishes, flowers, lemons, ballet… he says it himself: “All I ask is that you show a little bit of appreciation” (2:56) - Isn’t that what Brooke is asking for? If he just wants to be “left alone,” he should have stayed single! Brooke (and females worldwide) don’t want to spend “one more second” living in a relationship that should be a partnership, but where physical and psychological needs go unregistered. In Cinderella, the female didn’t have to be intelligent, have personal aspirations, or help bring the money home. Today, these are all important considerations. Brooke humbly serves her household, and only asks for what she deserves - love & respect ❤
She's exhausted. He's exhausted. He doesn't want to do the dishes. She doesn't want to do the dishes, but does so to keep the house clean. They should've both focused on getting the work done so they could both unwind. Edit : since I get a lot of interesting replies I suppose I should give my take. They're both wrong. No sides taken.
@@Dad_of_War "tomorrow" that's called a dirty house lol. That causes alot of stress and fights as well lol. He'll complain about the filthy house the next day lol.
@@TommyGunzzz that's just your opinion, again it's obviously not a big deal to him, just her. He's not going to complain about something he doesn't care about
Put some music and do the dishes quickly together. It's part of daily life to avoid becoming pigs. Love it, get rid of it, do your things in peace. Why should she make the dinner and then do the dishes while he plays a stupid game that doesn't give him anything? Literally nothing from the damn game
@@AntonySimkin no ones forcing her to do the dishes, and no one wants to feel obligated to do something out of fear of an argument. Actually the game gives him rest, excitement, etc, literally plenty of things, there's a reason gaming is the #1 entertainment business. He worked all day and doesn't feel like the dishes are important. Why are her feelings on the matter more important than his? I do the dishes myself all the time it's not that hard and doesn't require 2 people. Either way they obviously are having other issues it's not just about the dishes.
I think every man heard that line one way or another. "I'll do it for you babe..." "No! I don't want you to do it for me! I want you to want to do it!" and its not about dishes.
The line used to upset me to no end in my relationships, but I've learned to since see through the literal meaning and respond to the intention instead (which, let's face it, is hard to do as a man). Usually along the lines of "I care about you, and I want to show you that I care about you. If you don't feel like I'm doing that, let's discuss why. If you want me to do X, I will do X for you, but if you want me to want to do X, then what you're asking of me is to change who I am and I can't do that, is me not wanting to do X a deal breaker for you? Because I can't control how I feel about X."
I saw this movie before I met my wife, and I thought it was a hilarious ok illustration of the irrationality of women. But then after we were married and living together, I realized she was not being irrational at all ( although it was still a funny line). He was being completely oblivious to her feelings.
the amount of times I've seen the same dynamic, of the woman having to put on the role of the mother of the man, having to ask her partner to do the stuff he should've already done on his own. Some women truly do raise their husbands, who for some reason seem to be stuck on the mentalist of a lazy 14 year old boy
The best movie about relationship that i have ever seen, so true, and this is so sad to see it. They loved each other until the very end, but the ego once again wins to leave them alone and miserable. I hope that people will learn to communicate better in their relationships, instead of just give up, because finding true love is hard nowadays, and if you have it now, please try to keep it instead of searching for someone else
Alright, I'm gonna come back to this clip if at all I start feeling the butterflies again, just to remind me EXACTLY why I chose to be single in the first place.
If you don't have the basic decency and mindfullness to help your partner and treat them like a maid and no be sensetive them plz I beg you stay single
@sb853547 That helping out part needs to be done, but I deserve time to decompress after a long day at office, if my partner can't understand that, then she ain't much of a partner. Then secondly when I don't do something that she has already mentioned, is a "waste of money", or something she doesn't want me to do/ something she doesn't like, and months later I get the blame for not doing it ? Why can't they address what they really think like proper adults. So much for the people who emphasize "communication".
@@sb853547if you can’t respect your partner’s downtime and let them unwind then please stay single. It’s all about compromise, not to throw hissy fits like a child whenever you don’t get things your way. This problem would’ve easily been solved with calm communication or throwing incentives. He came back from work and wanted to unwind just to have his wife crash out. Going from one battle to another.
@@aravinthnagarajan9167 even a flatmate would expect you to clean after yourself if you leave your mess after dinner. If you don't understand it and don't want to respect another person's desire to live in a clean home, living alone + being single is indeed the best decision for you.
People are desperate enough to have relationships 🙄. They'll have to work it out. If one doesn't then good luck. However, I can't, for the love of anything, see how people tolerate any of it. I would have been out the door the moment she mentioned "offering to do the dishes".
Gary dont get it, its about the gesture. Just bring flowers or do a nice thing once in a while preferably when its not expected. A small bouquet on a wednesday night will bring you more praise than jewelry on valentines day
Yeah but at the same time she doesn’t get it either. He’s not a mind reader…. She said she didn’t like flowers and they’re a waste then was upset he didn’t get her flowers
@@DCM5117-y1q dejavu!! 😂😂😂. It happened to me, I took a picture of my daughter with the flowers because she liked it, and then after, I put them in the trash. And it supposed the woman (not my daughter) liked the flowers.
That’s not the point. It doesn’t take a psychologist to see that she’s upset because she feels like she’s doing life alone. Giving her gifts every once in a while doesn’t fix or make up for the day-to-day stuff. She didn’t tell him to do the dishes, she asked him to HELP her do the dishes-aka it’s a team effort running a household. You could even have fun with it-ultimately you’re spending time together and bonding. I swear guys in this country are brainwashed into flaunting their money and buying people’s affection.
@dukeonwheels i was just making a point on the flowers and gesture but yes 100% agree that they have other problems and lack communication. He is just not interested in the relation, just what he can get out of it. Selfish and childish behavior and she just had enough...
Uff. Every second was so relatable, and i know not just to me. It's horrible how many people suffer in these kinds of relationships, begging for the bare minimum and bending over backwards for someone who won't even lift a little finger. And how they're so good at turning these discussions around to make you seem unreasonable or crazy. It's infuriating. Girls and boys, don't settle for someone who makes you feel like that. A relationship shouldn't make you feel like every interaction is a strain. You should find peace in love, not a second full time job. I am so so glad that i have found a man who actually acts like one, and not like a child.
@@johanbundschuh7510 It actually saves water to use the dishwasher for pots and pans and all of that instead of doing it by hand. Of course there are some special versions of all of this that absolutely cannot go into the dishwasher, but it seems to me that when someone wants those versions they should volunteer to clean them themselves
Honestly I had the dish fight frequently, in my case I was the one that wanted them clean right after dinning. I did the dish very frequently but my wife hated it. So I bought a dishwasher and it´s over. Best 200 bucks I ever spent. I think is better to start a marriage with a dishwasher. Now we fight about HOW yo put dishes inside. She puts everything backwards and I hate how unefficient it is, so I use the machine most of time. My machine, my order. So now we both do this task. It´s a stupid recurrent fight and it resolves with little money. Same with floor and windows cleaning, just go buy some robots and it´s done.
@@SJA962are robots good enough right now? I think that doing the dishes by machine is not good. Never used a dishwasher machine but how can that be good? Rubbing the sponge is king for me
My husband and I have been happily together for 6 years married for 1 with a baby on the way. Clear communication is what has carried us through all our years and we’ve only ever bickered. Thankfully we’ve never had bad fights BECAUSE we communicate well. Now dealing with morning sickness he’ll get up and deal with the pets and make breakfast because he knows how hard mornings have been for me.
@@bimmeronline I was gonna say, it's really hard to communicate your needs when this little human needs so much more. It's hard to talk over a crying baby and feel heard..this is coming from someone with two kids
After the baby arrives, please remember what you wrote here. You whole lives will change, this experience will transform you and your relationship. If it's for better or for worse, only you will see, based on how well you will keep your promises to eachother.
@ We know a baby changes everything, but I will say we’ve been through a lot in 6 years, more than most, and I think that’s where our strength comes from. We also pray to God and keep Him close too. Only He will know how it’ll go, but don’t forget that many people have stayed married with kids. I think the internet is just full of haters. But you never know what will happen. I know I have faith in what will.
yupp after :50 secs when he said he'd do the dishes.. even though he was mad. dont say anything until after he's done then just say thank you with a hug or something.. us men are very simple.
What would you do in this situation?
The dishes
Divorce
I would do the dishes, he acts like a child with that game.
Pause the god damn game, it's single player only, he is not in some epic WoW raid or arena rush, thank god, and help her ..... !
Boys play video games. Boys play Magic Cars and Dungens and Dragon.
Men assume responsibility. Men take a leadership roll. I would've started the dishes already but then again I am a man, not a little boy who needs to play GTA.
I wonder how many people die inside watching this scene and seeing their relationship mirrored back to them.
not me....yet
Or their parents'
Well tiny bit their fault? Or in progress of learning how a good relationship works, next partner then 😂
🤚
thats exactly how i felt when i saw this w my girl at the time in the theater smh
Who ever wrote this scene nailed it and I would believe it is because the person experienced this him/her self. Absolutely uncanny how on point it is.
Almost makes you wonder how disconnected from reality these modern scriptwriters are. ALMOST makes you wonder if they're being written by ai
@@chandler1473 so true
@LiFsWo it's a discussion that happens a lot. "Hey, can you help me?" "Umm, I can help you later cause I'm tired" "Ohhh, YOU think you are the only one tired?" And all the sudden all those times you didn't do the thing are brought up and so you get defensive and throw your issues in as well and yall fight and no one washes the dishes lmao
Yeah, it's probably inevitable to experience something like this in ur life, don't even have to be in a relationship, just be in the same room with your parents while they are arguing
It's not so much that, rather its studio and marketing executives go 'well this won't help the film make money so remove it'. Script writers WANT to make hard hitting stuff, but they're always held back by the people with money who want to make more money. And since the script writers are under contract and want to make money and not be fired...They have to do what these idiot executives say.
I have heard this sharing from a very old grandpa talking about his life long marriage. He said in the house deviding work wasn't necessary, if we see something to do, we do it. If our parter is tired, we help them. If we are tired, they help us, even when nobody likes doing the work. That's called responsibility with our marriage, our partner.
The sharing really changed my life.
Sorry my English is not very good.
Absolutely great point buddy
the problem is the woman ego
Your english is perfect, and that is a very good lesson that more people should learn and use
@supercomputadora ego isn't the problem at all. They have no harmony and they don't show appreciation towards each other. She feels as though she is giving much more than what is returned towards her, which is unfair to her, and he feels like no matter what he gives it will never be enough. Both of them are struggling with futility and it causes backlash in their relationship.
@@supercomputadora Nah, she is all right. He is inconsiderate in my view.
Don't get me wrong, I'd roast her behaviour if she was acting irrationally.
The thing that I’ve always felt makes The Break-Up stand out is that there is no stereotypical happy ending. In every single romcom/romance movie like this, they will get back together. He would see the error of his ways. She would come to believe she was being too hard on him. And they’d get back together. The end.
The Break-Up had the balls to not do that. She stands her ground. He eventually actually changes. They each thrive in their jobs and in life-separately. You come to see that they weren’t right for each other, and they end up going their separate ways.
That’s life. And a very valuable lesson.
I loved that about this movie, it wasn't cliche and predictable. It was very real. Sometimes that is how it is, you might still love the person and care, but you are not right for the other person.
This.
Actually I'd push back on that lesson. Them turning things around then breaking up is a realistic depiction of people's unrealistic* standards ruining healthy commitments.
Compatibility is important. Culture, interests, beliefs, politics, etc. but if being willing to do the work isn't the main compatible trait, it's a empty relationship that a couple settles with or they walk away from.
Basically loving someone is enjoying the best they have to offer and accepting their flaws within reason.
The best way I can put it is we as individuals don't have all the talents we want, or raised by the family we want, or have the fertility to start the family we want, or get to live in the time period we want, or have the career we want and so on. But it would not be plausible for us to end our live because of what we lack... you haven't given up on yourself because you aren't everything you want to be. Why expect everything you want from your lover?
Something that I’ve always liked about the ending is that I’ve seen it differently depending on where I am in my personal life. The first time it was an always encounter of exes doing the “dance” just to never speak again. I’ve seen it as two people who once knew each other and acknowledging the change they each went through but it ultimately still ending there. I’ve also seen it as two people who separated because of their unwillingness to meet and agree upon a middle ground now coming back and potentially seeing enough change to want to do it again.
The Break up.. Broke up Romcom movies
Growing up my father would say " I shouldn't have to tell you every time to do something you should Just take it upon yourself and decide to do it without being asked" its not about waiting its about observing and caring for another showing empathy this goes for ANY relationship not just a couple but parents uncles grandparents siblings cousins etc.
Finally someone with common sense. But if a woman says it they're bad
But dad I'm stupid!
That's what my mother would always say to me too. I just never found myself following through with it...
@@leafyishereisdumbnameakath4259
Yeah, women are always told they are nagging if they point out the problem. My mom stopped trying to do that. I already knew as a child that my father won't change and that it's not worth it for my mom to keep getting into fights with him.
Most guys won't do their share and honestly women are also at fault for raising their boys in a way that they become such crappy husbands. If we stop raising boys into pampered princes, we will have more equality someday.
I feel this sentiment but for overwatch.
I shouldnt have to ask you to heal me, you should just already be looking at me pocketing my every move.
The problem is not the dishes. It is the emotional distance between these two. Even the way they speak one to the other is unloving.
When you start being in love, atleast in a man perpective you do ANYTHING for your girl, but after some times seeing she doesn't do the same thing back, you start getting tired, you are not in love anymore, sure u "love her" (in my country those are 2 different word "amar" y "querer") but you aren't as excited to be with her anymore, guess whose fault it is, hers!! i would say 75-80% of relationship who start fine fail cause woman don't have the urge to be reciprocal and they don't even try, man are programmed to take care about his wife and the children that come after, woman are only programmed to take care of the children, we are animals, some of us are less animal, and other are more animal, but guess it's what it is, i wish i was gay like my father (he is bi) even if things can break apart anyway, 2 man loving each other unconditional is bound to last more than a woman-man relaitonship when more often that not, the man is the only one loving unconditionally
Like i read sometimes, the only woman who loves a man unconditionally is your mother
Man you must be deaf because she has been making sacrifices for him by doing things he has wanted to do but yet won't go do anything that she wants to do.
@@albertotrigosbueno5547you really buried that "I wish I was gay" in there huh
@kaylapowell4261 yeah, that's half of it...try to see the other side too, sweetie.
@@albertotrigosbueno5547I hope you read the comment under yours. It seems like you have a heavy confirmation bias right now. You really believe and want to believe in what you’re saying, so that’s what you see. You also act in a way that encourages those events to take place. What you’re really doing is treating every woman like they’re the same person. It would be better for everyone if you’re bi, yeah. Because you obviously are unable to see women as individual people right now, equal to yourself in intelligence and emotional capacity. That doesn’t lend itself to a good relationship. You should do some reading and stop listening to Andrew Tate. Men giving out relationship “advice” that’s just hating on women as a collective because none of their relationships have ever worked is far too common and far too believed. They speak out of an illogical and ignorant pain they don’t even realize they’re feeling because they think it’s manly to suppress and ignore feelings. Don’t listen to them. Find more perspectives from women and from all other walks of life. It will help you to see others as human.
The fact that my chest started hurting tells me this didn’t hit too close to home, it wrecked my house. 😂
Asthma?
My chest hurt too it was overwhelming
Right!?! WHO actually enjoys watching this stuff?? I want to know. It seems like a strange, self-imposed kind of torture.
@@JadeW1111, LOL!!!!! Stop it!
Then go do the dishes woman
People need to appreciate each other. Little things like "please, thanks and let me help you" means A LOT.
😔 This is called a **communication backlog**
"I feel uncomfortable when our home is dirty, for example when we let the dishes rot in the sink for hours."
"Sometimes when I'm stressed out, I just need to sit down and play videogames for half am hour."
"You propably just don't know how to express it, but sometimes it seems like you don't notice the efforts I out into this relationship. It would make me feel very appreciated if you took initiative to help me now and then."
"I got your grocery list. Is there anything on it that's critical, in case I run short on something?"
"I need twelve lemons. Exactly twelve lemons. These are the reasons I need them for. I'm aware that not even the army does issue out orders without making sure their soldiers understand the greater context of the mission, so this is the reason why we'd need exactly twelve lemons."
"You said on our very first date that you don't like flowers. I want to show you my appreciation, but I struggle to come up with ways to do this. What's something you'd be very happy if I got them for you?"
"Honestly I don't care about flowers one way or the other. It's the gesture that makes me happy. If you like gifting me flowers, that's still making me happy."
"Honey, could we please do anything else but the ballet? Like, you don't want to go with me to Ann Arbor either. Maybe you go watch the ballet with your girlfriends, I go to Ann Arbor with my buddies, and we try to find something else we'd both enjoy doing on a date together?"
"Honey, I'm working really hard all day to make money for us. It doesn't seem like you appreciate me doing this. Are you unhappy with how we have structured our relationship? Would you want us to do things differently?"
"Can we sit down and have a conversation please? You've talked to me about the mess in the bath, about how my wardrobe doesn't match, about how I'm not working out - it seems we've got a mismatch in our priorities. Can we please try to sort this out so that we're able to get on the same page regarding what matters to us?"
These are all things that should have said well before this fight. Propably weeks, months or years before it
If you don't do it, then scenes like this happen
You should teach a Masterclass in basic communication, cuz it’s baffling how many people don’t know how to do it. And then other people who would rather be single than put in the effort to learn
@dandansoysauce8762 Why thank you, you are very kind.
Though I'd say that knowing what to say and how to say it is propably at best 20 percent of it.
More important is to have the courage to speak up when things don't seem right.
The humility not to assume you already know perfectly how "right" would look like.
The kindness to allow your partner to formulate their thoughts stupidly (and maybe even offensively) without jumping at them the moment the missstep.
And the wisdom to select for a partner who does the same.
With that, it doesn't seem that important how to say things. Which is good, because it means we can learn as we go and stumble towards the light stupidly.
But it also means that knowing how to say things won't save you. If you're the only one in your relationship who's actually communicating, then you might as well not bother.
Thank U
if i was the girl i’d say “it’s not about the damn dishes. I feel as If you don’t really give enough effort to help me. I feel like the effort is unbalanced.” straight to the point
The problem with these kinds of question is that it sound artificial and fake if you talk like that in reality. It sounds pre-planned, almost set up. I had a reacher who talked like that in highschool and I had trouble respecting him because I could tell he was faking his communication. He was not being sincere.
You know the one good thing about fights like the one seen in the video is that it shows peoples true side, their true patterns of thinking and behaviour just as it comes naturaly. Teaching people to communicate respectfully and constructively is one thing but you cannot teach them to have acctuak empathy. You see, there is the one issue that I always had with the concept of respect: It somthing that you only need in situations where your actual thoughts and feelings are full of hate but you can't express them due to social convention and I personally would rather have it that someone yells their honest and genuine hatred into my face than put up a facade of respect for tge sake of it.
This is art imitating life
Yeah it's pretty good at it too, except now she can't afford to be unemployed 😅 no sole breadwinners possible these days
Likes💀
Tbh bro is acting like he’s in a relationship with a woman but has literally never met or spent time with a woman before.
sorry, I can't relate to this at all.
@@saneman7177 People also have parents usually... maybe you didn't
Dude, this raised my anxiety like crazy.
"strong independent woman" here, folks.
I didn't pay attention to the argument, all the time what I could think about is that CJ is left alone while the police sirens started, luckily Vincent paused the game, though the 1 star rating he got raised my anxiety a bit
@@theincrediblefella7984lol yeah its her the problem… not her kid spouse
It's not about dishes, lemons, or even ballet. It's about the principle of gratitude, taking the initiative and showing your love and support in a way your partner wants. A lack of attention to detail, a lack of desire to help her, etc., makes someone feel unwanted and unloved. When we analyze literature, we search for details that make up the story's entirety. Similarly, it's these little details that make or break a relationship.
Her attitude demonstrates she has no gratitude or support to him.
he is not the one making demands after demands.
Yes, its not about the dishes.
they are both tired. why can you acknowledge she needs care but never consider he does and instead stir the pot.
because you ask for love, desire to help, desire to care but offer none yourself.
he asks for none.
bottom line, she stirred the pot, he is passive and she is the aggresor cause her argument is fueled with emotionality and he is too tired to have any of it, but she is tired but always has strength to lash out at someone for her feelings and strain.
he is not lashing out at her for his feelings and strain instead he plays
A HOOD CLASSIC, GTA SANDREAS, ITS CJ FROM SANDREAS WOW!
Maybe she should unwind and play some games with him and stop thinking that her husband does not have feelings and energy to, that her feelings are always paramount, be considerate instead of always demanding and expecting consideration and love while giving expressing none yourself but the opposite.
sadly this is easy but too many are afraid to criticize women or tell her, no , it is not all about your immediate desires.
YES 👏👏👏
@@TheDreadedLion The thing is that both people in this relationship (in this case, a man and a woman) are BOTH stupid and ignorant. One of them could've paused and say "Wait, time out..... Let's really hear eachother out..." But none of the parties do because both are selfish and they both feel unloved by the other.
It happens to all genders but we tend to see a bias against men because men are taught to ignore all things emotional to strive for physical gains (money, power, physique) and then get confused when his partner (usually a wife) would feel neglected.
And women are often discouraged from being upfront (bc they'd be b-tchy or high maintenance) so they make the mistake of dropping hints and then get resentful when the hints that others aren't conditioned to pick up (usually men) are overlooked.
This isn't an inherent man vs woman issue. It's a miscommunication and the lack of (emotional) respect for your partner issue.
And i Garauntee you the reason he doesn't do the dishes is because she wants. Them done HER way. Any other way and shes nagging and berating him. So he stops even trying. Because no matter what he does its wrong. She mentioned hint which hints Don t work because he cant read minds and any hint can be interpreted in 10,000 different ways. She was clearly the problem. She demanded to be over the household then got mad because she was expected to do them..just like she wanted.
when life gives you lemons, you give at least 12 of them to jennifer aniston
😂😂 yeah i'd give 120 to rachel if i could
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
I would ignore her.
It's not about the lemons
@@MidoridelToro she sounds just like Rachel not Jennifer 😅
Wow, serisouly didn't think Jennifer Aniston was a particularly great actress, but this was soo well done. Her anger and frustration are palpable.
acting? all I see is Rachel Green on a break from Ross
@@trantrongthang1692 interesting... he said he didn't see her as a great actress, and you perfectly demonstrated why
The Morning Show on Apple TV+
You should watch The Good Girl if you want to see a little more range.
You should watch Cake.
You know, I started feeling like this about my wife. I too like to decompress by playing game or watching tv after work. But she also does not like doing dishes or putting away laundry or cleaning litter boxes, ect. But when I came home she would always ask me to do these things as soon as i walk in the door, despite her getting home well before i did. We both work full time jobs so I was getting very frustrated about it. At the time I worked 4, 10 hour days so I think she felt that since i had a 3rd day off that I could just do everything myself. I dont know, I was very angry about it. But then one day, I made us a nice dinner and sat her down and explained how i was feeling. I told her I felt like I was putting more into maintaining our home than she was and that I was tired after work and didnt want to do the things and that I DO have an extra day off but thats because I wake up at 5am and dont get home till 530 mon through tursday and I would really like to not have to spend my entire day off catching up on daily chores every week. We had a long conversation, no yelling, no tears. And she started making more of an effort and stopped bothering me after work, and I agreed to spend a few hours of my extra day off every week cleaning litter boxes and doing laundry. And thats how your supposed to solve this stuff.
The solution always comes down to better communication
Imagine living with just you.
@@Soulessblur you can't talk people into caring about you or changing if they don't think it's important enough. To add more context, at this point they have been dating and own the place together that they live in. This isn't addressing the issue for the first time, this is the night that finally broke the camels back of the relationship.
I am sure she did much more than you always.
@@SoulessblurNot just communication, but compassion for the other. Not being self centered about your own needs being met or unmet, but genuinely caring for the need of others too. Then, finding a balance through communication
When I'm feeling bad about being single I just watch this😂
Lol word
Yeah well it can get ugly with the wrong person. But it can be the very best thing in your entire life when your other half is loving and caring. Just remember to keep doing what you were already doing when living on your own. I wonder why some men complain about chores when they have to do them no matter what when left on their own. I always found that the stupidest thing ever. Breaking up with someone who'd like the chores shared, just to end up doing it on your own anyway...
@@LETSROCKTA best reply ever!
real talk.
@@LETSROCKTAI’m single and barely have to do chores 🤨 it’s great
As a happily married woman, be direct. Don’t beat around the bush or drop hints.
They aren't at the beginning of the relationship for that to be required. They should be well aware of their personalities by now to know without it having to be said. So the fact that they don't really know each other is a giant red flag.
That happens when you are fake when starting the relationship. But unfortunately, many are attracted to the most superficial things aka faking, then start the relationship, and after the while the reality strikes them hard
how much more directly would you say "please help me with the dishes", dear happily married woman?
Tell that to the females
Thats why you are happily mrarried
Amazing. This is what the truth is and this is what should be advertised in the media, instead of romantic BS.
Marriage is a dying institution. In the coming decades it will be replaced by something else (except in religious communities).
It's still a BS, when someone yells at/tries you for getting 3 instead of 12 lemons and not saying from which store or at least explains why TWELVE LEMONS and thinkin in advance that's a chance there are no more than 3 lemons left ... Then it's pretty obvious you're well obliged to explain why the idea of buying lemons is a potential time wasting activity
@@GbpsGbps-vn3jylol wow, got some lemon PTSD there?
That's even worse, I want to have faith
Damn if this is your truth i feel for you :P
One of the most painful movies I have seen. The Break-Up. Taught me a lot about relationships.
Lucky to have been in one for a long time now. It’s important to be compassionate for each other and never take each other for granted.
you are, good. but The problem is that Your partner needs to know it too 😂
Ya I never could watch this movie because it was too real. Also knowing they were dating at the time too made it really real
taking the effort to always communicate is so important 😭
This movie breaks my heart every time I’ve watched it. It really hits the nail on the head for a lot of people. 💔
Spot on!
That line I "want you to want to help me" has resonated with me my whole life
But men are different- they want to help, but they usually need to be asked. Women say “I’m tired” but really mean “I don’t have the energy to clean up” - neither partner is wrong- they just don’t get it and they judge the other 😢
He got what he wanted. She got what she wanted. Now both are alone as they both wanted. 🥺
Alone is better then dealing with these modern day all women
@@Menareinlovewomenareinbusiness True. I've stated that many times, too! It's sad 😟
@@DragonMasterDwayne it is sad brother but as men we have to come to the terms that most women are not worth it anymore I have been cheated on multiple times I trust no women keep your head up king 👑💯
@@Menareinlovewomenareinbusiness I will and I truly do understand you... In time, with God's grace, we all will heal... This course of action by real men must stand firm and committed to make sure that American Modern Women are held accountable for the mistreatment of men, not just in America, but worldwide, a reckoning has come... 🫡🫵🏽🦁🙏🏽✝️⛪🍂🏡🦃🍽️🥧❤️🔥
@@Menareinlovewomenareinbusinesscannot believe you're taking the man's side in this clip. He's objectively cartoonishly wrong.
It's so sad that the problems in their relationship could've been solved if they simply understood each other. She, clearly, wanted him to be there for her. She wanted him to see her, talk to her, act sweetly with her. Basically, she wants a husband not a roommate. He, on the other hand, wants her respect, appreciation and kindness. He wants her to see him and appreciate him for his hard work. Basically he wants a wife not an alarm clock. They both want things all men and women want in a relationship, and of course, you give and take in a relationship. Not here though, and it's sad that this is the reality nowadays 😔
saying things out of anger never results in what you actually want, personal experience has spoken sadly
@@maniacviperk I totally agree, it's better to stay quiet when you get angry, then talk about your issue when you calm down. I think it is also OK yo allow someone you love (that can be anyone a friend, a spouse, a sibling etc) to vent their anger (even if its about you) gof a while, then talk to them calmly about your side of thing and apologise and do better next time. But that's just me opinion. Feel free to share your opinion 😊
Thats a lie. She wants that he makes everything and anything about her for her.
@@Butterfly-wz6qj agreed mostly hehe, just depends on how much in the tank of patience is left in the receiver of the anger, I'm getting better slowly in receiving anger and not immediately venting out my frustration but its still difficult to be a guru that just came down from the peaks of the Himalayan mountains, might be even more cranky due to exhaustion if I did that I'd imagine hehe
What is the one thing keeping them from realizing the partner they desire??
I always do dishes, as soon as I finish eating, without thinking. If you think about doing something, you will always find an excuse, not to do it. 😂
Yeah. My dad also has the same habit. He often tells me to never forget to do the dishes directly after done eating
I hate how accurate this is
failing to plan is just planning to fail. you're just a creature of habit.
you're no different. you still don't understand what she was after, and she STILL didn't communicate well enough with her man in order to receive it. "i want to you want to do things for me without me asking for it!".
jfc imagine solving everyones issues on the internet. wasn't there a trumpet in that hitchikers guide to the galaxy that just shot the person with the ability to understand your feelings.
crazy how relevant that movie is.
@@GloriouslyIncadescent problem fixed, I do it without being asked 🤔
I don’t think this is the point, guys.
My husband and I diffuse situations like this all the time by LISTENING to each other and being straight with what we want. Husband says, "I'd like 20 minutes of quiet when I get home after a long day at work," and I hold my tongue to give him that time to recharge even though I have a laundry list of things to tell him. The list can wait. HE comes first.
Then I also want help with certain tasks being done or when his music is too loud from time to time, instead of "dropping hints" and hoping he notices, I'm straight with him and say, "hey, would you turn that down please?" Or "can I have 5 minutes of your attention? This thing needs doing." And he gladly obliges because I come first to him. He never has to LIKE doing anything, and I never have to LIKE waiting to tell him all that I need to tell him. But we love each other more than we love our daily objectives. And we SPEAK to each other instead of playing mind games and letting it build up to a volcanic eruption. It's hard work, but it makes for a most peaceful and rewarding marriage.
Still I bet he whishes you wouldn't have that laundry list of things to tell him every day, after his 20 min of peace.
Give it 3 years and you'll divorce him.
@ challenge accepted. We sought the advice of couples who have been happily married 30, 40, 50+ years, and we are following their advice which across the board was identical, reliable, and promoted healthy communication. Not sure how living healthy lives would result in divorce, especially when we are doing things differently than the average couple these days, but if we fail in 3 years, I'll get back to you and gladly admit you were right.
What a sad person who responded to your comment. Don't listen to them, your marriage sounds wonderful and filled with love 😊
@@BeyondTrash-xe1vs thanks! I've learned that if you want to succeed in any area, listen to those who have also succeeded and pay no heed to the words and "advice" of those who are failing.
This was a great movie. My favorite scene was when Gary was with his buddy (John Favreau) in his bar after closing and at that point Gary still was blaming Brooke for everything and had yet to realize all of his faults, and when Favreau's character showed him his faults, his expression was priceless. It wasnt just his romantic relationship that was affected by his selfishness, it was all of his relationships in his life.
what movie is this?
@virginia9198 The Break up
@@BrownBomber92181 thank youuu
@@BrownBomber92181 thank youuu
@@virginia9198 you're welcome 😊
The title is so true. Watching this is bringing up so many emotions. My god, it's scary what comfort zone can do to you, turning an amazing relationship into a cohabitating trap. It's ok though, we learn and we move on.
I was literally just thinking that today women keep you in your comfort zone at least the majority do
"are you telling me you're upset that I don't have a strong desire to do dishes" - love that line 😂😂😂
good line, but sad reality. NO ONE has a strong desire to do the dishes!
That line TOOK ME OUT!🤣
Sarcasm when someone’s angry is proof that you are a prick 😂
It is not actually funny. Nobody wants to do the dishes, but we do want help doing the dishes because it needs to be done and the fact that he could not bring himself to help her so that he could spend time with her so that they could have responding moments of a life together that’s evidence of his outer lack of care and selfishness. And she should’ve been far more explicit in her desires for companionship in the small mundane things of living life together.
@debblouin it's literally a comedy movie lmao relax and breathe. It's not a lifetime documentary
The heat is often kinda predictable. So... you just don't use "conflict generator" phrases as answers.
And the most important: if you want to chill, invite her to chill together ("Just leave the dishes, I'll clean them" - and you do clean them after you chill together).
Works for me for 14 years))
So basically no alone time and you're her slave. Nice job
Brilliant! He could have defused the, “You don’t care about me.” Argument if he invited her to relax with him. Then they could argue about the thing (doing the dishes now versus later) rather than the feeling (you don’t care about me).
Thats why you singly and lonely@@AndreiGeorgescu-j9p
So basically your wife has emasculated you for all that time. That's just sad.
@@AndreiGeorgescu-j9pyou're her slave?
Bro it was obvious she was the only one that does anything cleaning/cooking related in the house AND has a job.
All she wanted, and communicated very badly was some attention.
watched The Break-Up a few years ago and had no reaction to this scene. years later when I rewatched it again, it hit me like a train. this is too relatable 😭
That acting is so incredible... Thats real life, right there.
Perfect example of 2 people listening to fight back instead of actually listening to try and understand the other person.
My wife was just like the guy in this video. I totally understand what she was going through.
I understand waiting a little to do the dishes, but if you wait until the next day they'll dry and be harder to clean.
thats not the point of the scene but this can be resolved by soaking them for a few minutes again in the morning, just extra water i guess
All that the man asked was to wait for few more minutes.....he never said he wasn't gonna do that!!!....How come no one understand what men try to say???
@monkatheatre1901 He said he'd do it in the morning.
@debrachambers1304 he suggested that.....than when she refused...all he needed was a Lil more time to get up!!
That's why y leave them soaking in the sink overnight
This is my favorite movie from both of them.
I love how tragic it was.
And how at the end, they both finally got it.
And dated people who looked just like the other hahahahaa
Facts
My guess is treated them right too
What's the movie?
@medamia The Break-Up
???
It's called Weaponized Incompetence, Poor Communication, and a lack of Fulfilling each Others' Love Tank. There are things as adults that you just recognize you have to do, there are wants and needs that separate us, and in the end if you can't do what it takes to make someone else feel loved and feel loved back... it ain't gonna work
You gotta get off them tiktoks
"fulfilling each other's love tank" is the apex terminology of...whatever this BS is called. Modern psychotherapeautization of sexual relationships? Yeah, that sounds good.
Nothing in this scene is "Weaponized Incompetence"...
This is not weaponzied incompetence, stop using terms you don't understand. A honest mistake in the case of the lemons, and a personal preference in the case of dishes. Neither is incompetence or weaponzied.
Never thought i’d see romantic brainrot
Exciting video, A year ago I took the no contact route, well i wouldnt say it didnt go well, but i missed her and sometimes you have to leave your comfort zone and go for what you want, Without knowing and having a huge ego, we might actually miss out on our soul mate all in the name of not settling for less, I know who i am, and at the same time i know what i want for me, so i did all i could to get her back, and I must say, it was the best decision i have ever made, we have been together again for over 7 months, yes marriage isnt always rosey, but i am lucky to have her, just as she is to have me, we compliment each other.
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i am in a similar situation, and i do not know what else do to have him back, i have been dying inside, people actually think i am happy, i am not.
I feel your pain sister , after trying out the no contact experiment that failed miserably, i had to find other means, i had to reach out to a spiritual adviser, it was brilliant idea which i never thought it was, but it worked wonders for me.
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach him/ her?
Her name is Shelly renee white , and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive
I have done dishes wth my wife for over 50 years. I am thankful that she is great at keeping me fed and helping with the dishes is the least I can do. This fellow does not appreicate the blessing his wife is in his life. He is no gem in her life for sure.
This is not a one sided affair. They both have issues and are both the problem here. I'm sure even you had days where you didn't want to do them, but you and your wife were probably better communicators than these two
@@MrProdigy810 To be honest the man dosent really do anythng wioth oir for her. He just comes home, eats and plkays games.
@delusionofillusion473 I've seen the movie. They started out doing a bunch of stuff together and he was happy to help all the time. Once you live with someone for a while, the magic can start to fade. They both have a responsibility to put in and make it work. He wasn't doing his part, true. He got lazy, complacent. But she didn't communicate her honest feelings and what she needed from him clearly
@MrProdigy810 if the magic fades then that means people are still immature. I never had that issue.
I have done dishes with my wife for 6 years. We do many things together. Now I'm divorced anyway.
All those dishes things is nothing
I feel like by the age of 25 you should have a fully integrated habit of keeping your own home clean and organised
Clean is subjective. It does not bother men that a spoon sits in the sink till the morning. Only women who are constantly performing for others think it's a sign of being dirty or being unprofessional in your own home. 😂
@@houseofhas9355 Have a good life as an unwanted man
Some people have depression issues, ect. Having a show home is not realistic.
My wife's idea of clean and my idea of clean are two VERY different things
Absolutely. A clean and tidy home benefits… helping us feel better mentally, we can relax better, it’s calming, it takes stress out of finding things, and encourages good daily habits, it burns energy which is also good for us and if we keep on top of it, it’s not a big thing, still lots of time to relax after. (This is how am raising my kids).
Whilst I personally don’t need a show home, I will make my bed in the morning, fold my clothes and do dishes last thing, because the chaos of mornings with kids means I don’t need those extra tasks of extra crusted crockery looking for me when my cortisol is at its peak 😂.
When we all pitch in, we are a team. Being conscientiously organised without an immediate ‘pay off’ is a skill, and it takes practice (some people need more practice than others!) but is an indicator of human maturity.
Respect and empathy is the key. The men who are usually dependent on their moms for household chores are the one who depend on their wives after marriage. Hence, mothers need to be careful while raising their son... They should make them work and give them the responsibility of contributing to taking care of the house.
Very true! 👍🏽
Tho, why should it be the responsibility of the mother to raise the son in a decent manner? Should it not be the responsibility of the *parents*?
Rarely is the father blamed for not being a better rolemodel and raising his son to contribute in a household, its always the mother needing to raise kids better. Just a small detail I think show how we still don't really hold fathers accountable in these cases
It's also the fathers. I've seen households where the children have chores, but the father does not. When these male children grew up and married they stopped maintaining their home because subconsciously they were taught that housework was the work of women and children. They internalized the belief that finances were a males contribution, and chores were a stand in until they could contribute financially. So mothers giving their sons chores does not necessarily remedy the situation.
Cause the courts force us to work to pay child support an support two house holds.@katrinepedersen9660
@@katrinepedersen9660depends on the household but in a lot of cultures the moms can’t hold themselves back from trying to take care of everyone and making sure every other person is happy but themselves. So even if others wanna help they still want to be the only ones sacrificing. I 100% agree fathers/husbands/partners are also responsible for all this visions cycle cuz it must have started somewhere, but changes have to start somewhere and everyone should be taking the responsibilities.
This is like 95% of the problems with relationships !! I’m feeling that!
Experienced divorce lawyer here (Pennsylvania and New Jersey). I see this every single day. Stay safe. Stay single!
Don't talk as if relationships are the problem. People who can't communicate are the problem. People are the problem. Just don't be the problem and find someone who isn't the problem.
I’m 24 years old and part of Generation Z. From the title "Modern Relationship Problems," I was expecting something I could relate to. However, I realized this is already an older movie, and the dynamics portrayed here remind me more of my parents' generation. Maybe it’s just my lifestyle, but I don’t relate to any of it. The world is changing so fast these days, just as modernity keeps evolving. I’m really glad about some of these changes, especially in the dynamics between men and women.
Something I realized is that with some people you may be doing things for the person, doing your chores, responsibilities etc for days, weeks, but then if once you stumble or don't do one thing the way they wanted they behave as if you never do anything etc, which is simply factually incorrect. The best thing I found is to ignore these bursts of anger and not fall for the guilt tripping.
The best thing is to break up
For Men: Its good to take time out to help someone you love, even when they don't seem like they want it, need it, or ask for it. Women are actually even more prideful than men are and have a much harder time asking for help on things they want directly. This is why they resort to "hints". Their minds are not programmed to be that direct on things they care about. So when you can, take a moment to notice the tone of her voice, attitude and when she starts drifting into negativity, take a deep breath, step back and just ask her in the calmest voice you can to tell you what she's feeling and how can you help. She's not a man, don't try to talk to her like one.
For Women: Its good to be direct when you can about things that truly do matter to you, even if it goes against your core traits and desires and makes you feel uncomfortable or "bitchy" to ask openly and honestly. Men are simple creatures who prefer clear-cut instructions and goals. A list, pictures, details does go a long way with a man and believe it or not, men do want to help, just gotta be direct and I can promise you, you'll get a guy who will be happy or at least a little indifferent about doing something, even if he doesn't want to do it.
All in all, its easy to get absorbed into yourself after a long day. Ain't no body perfect and these fights will come up. Just, try to ask yourself if the way you're communicating is the best way to get your thoughts and feelings across without adding frustration to the mix and antagonising your spouse. You don't have to baby them, but don't let your anger steer the conversation with someone you care about, if you can help it. And if you can't, own up to it and apologize. Especially you, ladies! lol
and what should the woman do? if you are going to give advice to the fellas, try to also give something for the ladys so they can contribute something to the communication front, bc just giving hints(even if he does the things you said to do) is sometimes just not enough. lets work man and woman together at this, and not dump all the work to men. woman can do stuff to ;)
@@TheAmaterasu19 That's quite literally the entire second paragraph....
@@Netherwolf6100 ou sry dude, for some reason it didnt give me the option to readmore. so i didnt see there was more. honest mistake
That was really well put, good faith goes a lot way and a sense of responsibility both for your partner’s wants and needs and your own or else you’ll become resentful. I have faith in my relationship and I think that’s what will allow it to endure and nourish our lives.
@@TheAmaterasu19 obviously you failed reading comprehension or you would remember the 2nd paragraph
The fact that nobody talks about the book How To Seduce Your Boss Wife talks about flirting and manipulation with any girl
thanks bro now im main character in school
I just finished reading that,great thing!
by Jack Winston?
@@NoirxTempest just write name of the book on youtube and there is a video and you have link of the book there
I cant believe what i read right now thanks a lot
A little bit of appreciation and offer from either side would solve the problem, actually this movie actually taught me a lot of lessons.
The wife was a very good communicator. No sulking, no passive aggression. Straight to it. Nice...
Hits pretty close to home.
Maybe both felt underappreciated? We all do things expecting other people to value our efforts and when they don't, we frustrate. We should know what the other person really values before putting effort on things just because we believe they are gonna appreciate it.
Exactly. And it even goes for thing we do to show appreciation for the other person but not it a way they notice. For example, a guy can clean up the house for his girl to come home and not worry about it, but she comes too tired to notice it and just want to have time for herself with a beauty treatment (maybe because she thought about that all day at work and just wants to make herself feel pretty). Or a girl can prepare a good movie night for her man with some snacks, but when he comes home after work he just wants to play a game of his (maybe because he wants to continue where he left off so he can relieve some stress). 2 situations where they both mean well, both want to feel appreciated by the other, but their individual desires are not in the same place at the moment. It's not just about the communication, it's also about paying attention to see a bigger picture
I love your willingness to consider that there might not be a pure right and wrong but I find it interesting that you suggest that “they both want ”. It is possible that what he was dealing with was overstimulation and anxiety or other non-bad need. Wanting to sit and play at something low stress to restore emotional equilibrium is a very male thing but it is not exactly an emotional thing.
ofc when it fits it's both of their fault's, guys grow up
2:15 my world just got turned upside down, I didnt realise how stupid I was. I now understand women.
That's a lie. No one understands women. Even women don't understand women
Acts of service and gifts are always a surefire way to melt a heart
I don't think she was being unreasonable, but she was failing to communicate her issue.
As a queer dude who spent most of my life in women's social circles, and later on making more male friends, the difference in communication styles is wild.
Women's social spaces tend to be filled with a lot of subtle cues. You know that person, pay attention, and act according to what you read. You're sorta primed to be attentive without being prompted. I personally really like this. It makes me feel closer to someone when communication can largely be intuitive and based on knowing.
But a tip to women, from a queer dude who tends to be with more "guy's guys", male social groups are a lot more emotionally guarded and by extension most men are primed to actively avoid reading into things too much. Social intimacy amongst men is filled with a lot more "lines".
What her issue here was is simple: she feels that when you love someone, you should pay attention and see if theyre struggling, and that love should motivate you to want to do something about that struggle. Shes saying "it's not about the lemons" but failing to say it's about her not feeling that her wants and needs are taken seriously enough to warrant him doing the thing correctly. Getting the wrong amount of lemons makes her feel like he only really half listened.
And that's partially on her. Shes prolly handling not feeling listened to by constantly nitpicking him, which is maladaptive and only going to make him (reasonably) less inclined to listen to her.
Later in the argument they're both just throwing out absolutist "you never" and "you always" statements being people like to do that when they're fighting for a moral high ground.
You work 8hrs, your wife works 8hrs.
Then you come home and you are expected to work additional hours doing chores at home while your wife chills? Where does that sound reasonable and fair?
TBH solution is wife works as well and they pay someone else to do the house and food. Easy.
@@OzHunter Where in this situation was she going to chill? She asked him to help her with the dishes, meaning doing it together. She didn't chill. As she mentioned many times, she cleaned the house and cooked the meal after working all day. You clearly didn't get it either.
I totally agree with you. I don't think men and women are born different, but if you have been raised in certain way, you learn to communicate differently. Women are often told they should not be clear or pushy about what they want or need, they should not ask for things directly, cause that's selfish and they have to accomodate to others. Men often struggle "understanding women" because they don't get why they can't be more direct and explain things clearly instead of expecting other people to be mind readers.
My partner is a guy who grew up playing the caretaker role in his house (older of three brother, single working mum..). At the beggining of the relationship he did the lemon things a lot: ", it's not that, it's not about that, you don't get It, that's not the point...". And he never explained what the point actually was. It drove me crazy, since I was programmed to "not read too much into things". Communication skills take a lot of time and effort. Five years later we still have our hard days, but so many more tools to get through any argument and solve It 😊
First of all you have absolutely no business bringing up your sexuality in a clip about dishes. Bottom line is they share a house they had friends over for dinner she cooked all he had to do was go okay? Let’s do the dishes together and that’s it. none of this nonsense or essays needed around to understand that you just have to help someone clean up.
@@OzHunter or just split the chores equally (e.g. by assigning every room to specific partner).
My husband and I of 23 years have never had an argument like this. I just do it myself or ask if he can take care of them. That’s it, no games.
Some people find socializing tiring and want to decompress afterwards before they get back to work. Some people want to finish the work so they can decompress. Neither one is wrong, but both can feel unreasonable in the other's eyes
@@Douglas-nt7jd Exactly my husband and I. There is no right or wrong.
@@Douglas-nt7jd so what to do? Because the one who needs to finish work to decompress will just end up always doing all the work? Lol.
@BingoNamo-gb8pz well that depends on if dishes being done 10-20 minutes later really is a deal breaker. If it is you'll never be compatible as the partner that wants to wait a while will either constantly disappoint the other, or will always be the one "compromising"
Insightful
YEAH except he is perfectly aware of this, agrees to do them HER WAY, and still she complains because HE IS NOT IN HER MINDSET. So the problem is her.
The one that did this cast is a genius !! Aniston don't even need to act to film this she is in her natural form 😂😂😂
As a male, I sympathise with her on this one. Both work, both exhausted, he should share the responsibility for making the evening comfortable with making food, clearing up...and then relaxing. Guy was behaving like a young boy whose mother was spoiling him.
Edit: Lot of snowflakes in this comment section thinking that men let the women do the work. First work, then pleasure, that's a real man's attitude, not these video gamers and keyboard warriors who expect "mummy" (wife/gf) to change their pampers while they fight against digital enemies, feeling like Hercules 🤣
You are right, they should help each other out. But to be fair, everyone needs some little time for their food to digest. All this happened not because he didn't plan to help but cas females generally don't have the patience to wait just 20mins for chores to be done.
@@SamBoxEthiopiahe was def in the wrong he even said the dishes can easily wait till tomorrow, showing that they pile up until the next day
@@bellamathers6740 he got up from the game to help just before she brought up another argument. But that's not the point
@@SamBoxEthiopia
This is clearly not just a one time thing or someone wouldn't get as angry about it. If someone gets so pissed about the other not doing the dishes, then that's because it's an ongoing problem.
Actually she said she will someday find work...she's unemployed..sorry, I mean..she's a housewife 😅
It's not about the lemons, it's not about the flowers, it's not about the dishes, it's about the guy seeming like he's not invested in anything he does with his wife anymore, it's about him harrumphing every time he's asked to do one very simple, very easy thing, washing the motherfking dishes with his wife
People, just put some intention into what you do with your partner and pay some attention to your relationship, i understand needing to relax after you came back from a long day, i relate, but that's definely not what's happening here, it looks like this guy hasn't been very checked into his marriage in a long time
This isn't about the wife not saying what she means, it's about the husband only thinking about himself and just assuming hiw wife wants the same things, there has been no communication, no quality time, no appreciation, and frankly, no love in this marriage, i would absolutely hate to see myself become the greaseball in this video
He's not a greaseball, he's a tour guide, that's different.
If the only part of this that you could recognize was the woman's side then you missed the whole point. There is clear fault on both sides. Everything you said about the man's issue is completely correct. However, pretending like there isn't also fault on the woman's side here is foolish and I would guarantee you that the writers of this scene would agree. Communication is a two way street. If one person feels unappreciated, the problem can't magically fix itself. Someone needs to speak up and be direct. A married couple should have enough invested in their relationship that one partner can directly voice their concerns and issues to the other. In this particular clip, the man is guilty of being selfish and not thinking of his wife more, but the woman is guilty of letting it go on for long enough that it explodes into this kind of situation. And obviously, it's easier said than done, but if you bring this up and say something early on, it gets nipped in the bud and this kind of blow up argument never happens.
Exactly!
There are a tons of prick guys, but there are also tons of sweet guys who moves mountain for his wife and they don't get anything back, until they start loosing that desire, to all womans if u want to feel loved and cared maybe you should start doing it for your husband in the first place, woman are too used to just recieving and don't do nothing for his partner cause they can pick whoever guy they want, if u want a good relationship, work for it, don't expect a guy to love you and care for you forever without doing it yourself
You should say exactly what you mean. Be concrete. Be explicit. Will make things easier.
Wow. Great acting and very accurate.
her acting in this movie was so impactful. one of her best performances
This is what happens when people are immature and lack integrity. A person like that will take you for granted at the first opportunity and it won't stop. When you get the sense that you are wasting time and energy explaining yourself to somebody who is committed to misunderstanding you it's time to bounce.
Most importantly, don't be that person, bring the best you to your relationship and keep on top of that hard work.
Why would you need someone to appreciate you having a job when as an adult that’s literally something you would already have regardless if you’re in a relationship. Then saying it’s so she doesn’t have to work when she wants to work. Clearly he never took the time to learn her. They needed to breakup, it was so toxic
Not really, he could be retired by now and just keeping the job and making the effort to support 2 people. If he could stop working and she maintains him because she loves to work that we great... which is what he's aiming for, and with that, support new family members
Seriously, and being like "I'm tired" When she literally worked the same amount as him, then came home and prepared a meal and hosted the party and then was doing the dishes... for as much as he expected her to appreciate his efforts, he sure didn't really appreciate hers.
Men do NOT want woman to work. I think more people need to realize this. A woman who earns her own money is a woman who can leave whenever she wants. She doesn’t financially depend on him. She isnt stuck. A woman who doesnt work also has more time to cater to a man.
When a man says he wants to earn enough for the both of them, it’s not to do something nice for the woman. It’s for himself.
@@stylesrawExhaustion isn't a competition. A good partner give their partner a break when they need it, and in return that partner should fulfill their tasks after they've had their rest.
@@eeen4119 well, one note of that. Some of us DO want women to work rather than being their social benefit for life. Specially when they don't even cater to their husband and don't even do the house chores even being a housewife. They're just lazy bums taking advantage of the situation and being comfortable with it.
I watched that movie with my wife and the funny things happen even after. I did not go after her in one situation. My wife asked, "why the hell he did not go after her?" "she said, she wants to be alone." "Yes, but it is obvious that she wants to talk with him." "WTF? How should he knows that?" "That is obvious." ?????
Another scene, similar situation, he goes after her. My wife: "What the hell is he doing? She needs to be alone now." "WTF??? First he should have gone after her and now he should left her alone?" "Yeah." "A moment ago you mentioned he should go after and now he does, why is it not correct now?" "Is is obvious!" "Nah"...
Yes there are different situations learn to read the room. Don't be robotic
@@sb853547its ok woman
@@sb853547 You do not understand. A situation can be read differently (read the room). Only when things are communicated clear and in correct manner everyone understand the situation correctly. It is like woman say x, but they mean y. It was communicated x and not y. So the fault is on the side who communicated and not who received the communicated words.
Life is not a video game so why do you expect every situation to be predictable? If you approach life as "life" and not as a machine with pre programmed buttons you can see the clues that she sees.
And life is not a soap opera or a romance movie where everything is in a romantic way. Read the room? You know that situations can be interpreted in different ways, if things are not communicated clearly? That is the reason why hints do not work on Men. Woman to woman yes, but not to a stright Man.
What a masterpiece. They reflected the conflicts of most couples. It's perfectly made.
Context I feel some people missed that are important:
Right before this, her mother offered to help her clean, and he said no and then immediately sat down. This was a dinner for both families to meet each other.
Also everyones saying its a communication problem that they both need to improve on- how much clearer can you get than "I asked for 12 lemons and you bought 3"
to be fair, the flower thing was awfully communiacated and the general "I want you to be there for me and do things spontaneously" thing was badly communicated. Like, when she finally talked about it, it was a screaming match. But yeah, the lemons thing was entirely well communicated, as well as the dishes (the way she speaks "I don't like to wake up to dirty dishes" sounds like it was a conversation they had before) he was just an idiot about those.
@andrellnogueira I think the flowers were more like a "you're so inconsiderate" moment where she's unfairly carrying the all house load, all without thanks. If they split the housework 50/50 it wouldn't be an arguement but she worked, cleaned the apartment and cooked to host a dinner for both families and he didn't even bat an eye. He even shooed her mother away who was offering to help.
In my head, with two grown adults, communicating what needs to be done within the house doesn't make sense cause if you see an issue, fix it. If you notice the other person is doing more, acknowledge it(like with flowers). Those things shouldn't NEED to be communicated. The only time communication should be necessary is when you and your partner both have preferences for chores.
Frankly, I have to acknowledge that that's a high expectation. Anyone who's been to a college campus would know how much grown adults can't do basic things.
I love how this man posted this video hoping for people to hate the woman, but most are on her side.
most are also average IQ
"She left me out of nowhere"
Over dishes? She couldn't even explain why she is angry...
@@BreakupBounce yes, over dishes. She’s this angry because this isn’t a one time thing.
If you can’t see why he’s wrong then you should be single for life, no offense.
Also, you shouldn’t be told to clean dishes YOU ate on. You shouldn’t be told to clean a house YOU live in. That should be common sense.
It’s always “the divorce come out of nowhere” “I was blindsided” “oVEr DisHEs”
These men want maids and mummies. They to grow up fr
@@butterisout2699 If you think that your partner needs to do house chores when you want them done, then you should be single for life, no offence.
The dishes will be done, but it doesn't mean that they will be done on your schedule. If you don't like the sink full of dishes, do it yourself. But if someone else said that they are going to do them, give them time to do them.
And again, if you don't have the patience to wait, you are the problem.
@@BreakupBounce taking less than 5 min to do the dishes instead of leaving messes pil up is just common sense, I fear. You claim she doesn’t have patience but the truth is you don’t have empathy and consideration. The very reason so many men are lonely. It’s not about cleaning on “her schedule” lol bffr. Normal people are uncomfortable leaving messes behind and would feel more relaxed in a cleaned environment. If you can’t comprehend that as an adult then you are the problem. Just Be single, no offense.
😂😂😂😂 Wouldnt happen in my house. I just load the dishwasher😂
Living with someone who doesn’t pull their weight but contributes to the mess is like being in a sinking ship and constantly having to dump water out. Keeping up with a house is not a joke and then after cooking a meal and hosting and working her own job, she does the dishes and he sits on the couch. If he got up and helped her it would probably take 15 minutes and during that time they could converse and connect and then he can go back to sitting on the couch and probably be left alone for the night and she will be helped and happy. 15 minutes is all that needed. He was being selfish because if he is tired from being on his feet and talking to people all day, that is what she did all day too 😂 and she was willing to be on her feet for longer to clean their shared space. For them. It’s hard to see why some are on his side, because he goes out and earns the money? 😂 she has a job as well.
You missed the message it's not about the dishes.
@halolasomaster3900 the dishes were the tipping point to a persistent problem in their relationship. But ok lol, I guess I missed the point…which is what exactly??? You tell me.
I haven't watched the movie but reading through the comments , I feel some context will help which is that she chose to invent her friends and family over ,not him.If she's work through the entire day tired and still have to strain herself up by cooking for so many people which she invited them herself ,and then forcing somebody who also went through the whole day of work to clean up for her unwillingly, wouldn't it be unfair for him ? Also ,it's not that he is not washing the dishes ,he wants to wash it after he have some rest however she wants it done immediately. Wouldn't this make her very selfish and very toxic ? because her wanting things to be her way will have to neglect what the guy is feeling .
She does not have a job tho. House chores is all she had to do and failed nonetheless.
Of course he wants appreciation for only going to work while not appreciating everything she does for him while also working full time.
☕☕☕
Yeah just only going to work, yeah just ONLY 😂😂😂
You clearly haven't understood the message of this movie or scene, if you sided with one of them
@@justcasuallygaming9680 Youre just mad he sided with the woman 😂
@@butwhy312You've clearly missed the point too my friend, they both have failings. The moment you make it a competition of right and wrong, you've become too immature to face it as is.
@@BeyondTrash-xe1vs You can't talk about me. You need to get a life and reevaluate that if you think she's in the wrong for wanting to wash dishes.
I’d hope no man acts like Vaughan’s character for the first 1:15. After that is where it does become pretty real.
Super normal though. Bro said he'll do em later or tomorrow. If bro is gonna do the dishes then he'll do the dishes.
That's just how they portray white dudes. It's a big psyop.
Ha, see that caught me by surprise. My ex came in with this same thing once. I paused the game and said "yeah no problem". She still blew up at me... With the exact words Aniston spoke? I just sat there and listened through all of it like a monologue and after she was done I said: "ok, now can I do the dishes?" Then she cheated on me and I figured it out
I mean it's pretty unfair for you to expect your partner to spend their whole day slaving away to support the household, and then coming home and doing the dishes too.
The beauty of this scene that every couple can relate
She's right, he's right, they're both wrong!
Absolutely, two narcissists don't mix lol
@@coffeeandgrindyall just throw the word narcissist around any time anything negative happens. No narcissism needed to make this situation happen
It's kinda funny. That dishes convo even happens to siblings, or family members in general.
Completely agree that scene was on point.
This guy is a classic example of weaponized incompetence. She did everything right in this situation.
Youre the classic example of black and white thinking. Believing all blame lies on one side only.
Telling him to do the dishes and then telling him to not do it once he said he'll do it was the correct thing to do?
Telling him to not buy her flowers because it's a waste and then getting upset when he never got her flowers was also correct?
Perfect example of damned if you do, damned if you don't.
@@Kevin_Oskar its about the gesture. No one wants to instruct their partner. If someone truly loves you he would get his lazy ass up help with the dishes and he might even get some head while playing his game? Men really really dont get how women work
@@doobie1414 Even women are confused about how women work.
She told him to not give her flowers, and then got upset that he never got her flowers
And he said he was going to do the dishes in a few minutes, but to her it was not soon enough.
@@Kevin_Oskar No no ALL girls know this language its men who dont understand. Even if she says no, give her the damn flowers. Its the gesture
Then he'll say "the divorce came out of nowhere!" 🙄
Over dishes? Or because she cannot communicate what she wants?
@@BreakupBounce how many times?? Can't yall learn after the 50th or 60th time? Women want a man not a child to dictate again and again.
@@foreverconfusedandkindacute There is a big difference in doing chores and doing chore on your time.
Men want a wife not a mother, If you act like a mother you will get rebelled against as a mother.
You are in a relationship. Relationship and household chores do not run on your time. If the dishes bother you, its your problem. If you are annoyed that your man is not doing the dishes when you tell him, its your problem.
If you want a man to drop whatever he is doing and help you with the dishes, then you are the problem.
@@BreakupBounce mhm. Just make sure to not expect any woman to drop anything for you to do stuff on your time. After all, it's your problem, she doesn't need to cater to it.
Give that energy. Get that energy. Stay safe out there.
@@foreverconfusedandkindacute If dishes bother me, i would never go "hey, drop everything and help me with the dishes" or "hey wake up, kids need breakfast" that's just childish.
And that is the energy every man is looking for. Silly things like chores that don't need immediate attention can wait.
It’s not about the dishes, flowers, lemons, ballet… he says it himself: “All I ask is that you show a little bit of appreciation” (2:56) - Isn’t that what Brooke is asking for? If he just wants to be “left alone,” he should have stayed single! Brooke (and females worldwide) don’t want to spend “one more second” living in a relationship that should be a partnership, but where physical and psychological needs go unregistered. In Cinderella, the female didn’t have to be intelligent, have personal aspirations, or help bring the money home. Today, these are all important considerations. Brooke humbly serves her household, and only asks for what she deserves - love & respect ❤
The controller throw and the "not when they're at the ballet" is gold 😅
She's exhausted. He's exhausted. He doesn't want to do the dishes. She doesn't want to do the dishes, but does so to keep the house clean. They should've both focused on getting the work done so they could both unwind.
Edit : since I get a lot of interesting replies I suppose I should give my take. They're both wrong. No sides taken.
The dishes will still be there tomorrow it's not an emergency, it's just because it's more important to HER than peace
@@Dad_of_War "tomorrow" that's called a dirty house lol. That causes alot of stress and fights as well lol. He'll complain about the filthy house the next day lol.
@@TommyGunzzz that's just your opinion, again it's obviously not a big deal to him, just her. He's not going to complain about something he doesn't care about
Put some music and do the dishes quickly together. It's part of daily life to avoid becoming pigs. Love it, get rid of it, do your things in peace. Why should she make the dinner and then do the dishes while he plays a stupid game that doesn't give him anything? Literally nothing from the damn game
@@AntonySimkin no ones forcing her to do the dishes, and no one wants to feel obligated to do something out of fear of an argument.
Actually the game gives him rest, excitement, etc, literally plenty of things, there's a reason gaming is the #1 entertainment business.
He worked all day and doesn't feel like the dishes are important. Why are her feelings on the matter more important than his? I do the dishes myself all the time it's not that hard and doesn't require 2 people.
Either way they obviously are having other issues it's not just about the dishes.
I feel sorry for anyone who has this type of relationship
Classic line that I have quoted often since this movie came out.... " I want you to WANT to do the dishes! "
I think every man heard that line one way or another. "I'll do it for you babe..." "No! I don't want you to do it for me! I want you to want to do it!" and its not about dishes.
The line used to upset me to no end in my relationships, but I've learned to since see through the literal meaning and respond to the intention instead (which, let's face it, is hard to do as a man).
Usually along the lines of
"I care about you, and I want to show you that I care about you. If you don't feel like I'm doing that, let's discuss why. If you want me to do X, I will do X for you, but if you want me to want to do X, then what you're asking of me is to change who I am and I can't do that, is me not wanting to do X a deal breaker for you? Because I can't control how I feel about X."
I saw this movie before I met my wife, and I thought it was a hilarious ok illustration of the irrationality of women. But then after we were married and living together, I realized she was not being irrational at all ( although it was still a funny line). He was being completely oblivious to her feelings.
This is a criminally underrated movie. It’s so so real.
the amount of times I've seen the same dynamic, of the woman having to put on the role of the mother of the man, having to ask her partner to do the stuff he should've already done on his own. Some women truly do raise their husbands, who for some reason seem to be stuck on the mentalist of a lazy 14 year old boy
But this scene directly implies he's the one pulling in the money.
How come women aren't called chidren when they are literally on an allowance?
The best movie about relationship that i have ever seen, so true, and this is so sad to see it.
They loved each other until the very end, but the ego once again wins to leave them alone and miserable.
I hope that people will learn to communicate better in their relationships, instead of just give up, because finding true love is hard nowadays, and if you have it now, please try to keep it instead of searching for someone else
But they didn't end up 'alone and miserable' 😂
They just broke up and moved on
Alright, I'm gonna come back to this clip if at all I start feeling the butterflies again, just to remind me EXACTLY why I chose to be single in the first place.
If you don't have the basic decency and mindfullness to help your partner and treat them like a maid and no be sensetive them plz I beg you stay single
@sb853547 That helping out part needs to be done, but I deserve time to decompress after a long day at office, if my partner can't understand that, then she ain't much of a partner. Then secondly when I don't do something that she has already mentioned, is a "waste of money", or something she doesn't want me to do/ something she doesn't like, and months later I get the blame for not doing it ? Why can't they address what they really think like proper adults. So much for the people who emphasize "communication".
@@sb853547 Women think their cushy jobs are so hard while men are building the world around them. It’s not comparable
@@sb853547if you can’t respect your partner’s downtime and let them unwind then please stay single. It’s all about compromise, not to throw hissy fits like a child whenever you don’t get things your way. This problem would’ve easily been solved with calm communication or throwing incentives. He came back from work and wanted to unwind just to have his wife crash out. Going from one battle to another.
@@aravinthnagarajan9167 even a flatmate would expect you to clean after yourself if you leave your mess after dinner.
If you don't understand it and don't want to respect another person's desire to live in a clean home, living alone + being single is indeed the best decision for you.
This was so accurate to my parents' relationship that it hurt, down to their individual word choices and the man's eye roll at the end
They’re both right, both making valid points. And both wrong.
People are desperate enough to have relationships 🙄. They'll have to work it out. If one doesn't then good luck. However, I can't, for the love of anything, see how people tolerate any of it. I would have been out the door the moment she mentioned "offering to do the dishes".
Gary dont get it, its about the gesture. Just bring flowers or do a nice thing once in a while preferably when its not expected. A small bouquet on a wednesday night will bring you more praise than jewelry on valentines day
Yeah but at the same time she doesn’t get it either. He’s not a mind reader…. She said she didn’t like flowers and they’re a waste then was upset he didn’t get her flowers
This only works if your honest. Don't say you don't like flowers then get angry when you don't get flowers.
@@DCM5117-y1q dejavu!! 😂😂😂. It happened to me, I took a picture of my daughter with the flowers because she liked it, and then after, I put them in the trash. And it supposed the woman (not my daughter) liked the flowers.
That’s not the point. It doesn’t take a psychologist to see that she’s upset because she feels like she’s doing life alone. Giving her gifts every once in a while doesn’t fix or make up for the day-to-day stuff. She didn’t tell him to do the dishes, she asked him to HELP her do the dishes-aka it’s a team effort running a household. You could even have fun with it-ultimately you’re spending time together and bonding.
I swear guys in this country are brainwashed into flaunting their money and buying people’s affection.
@dukeonwheels i was just making a point on the flowers and gesture but yes 100% agree that they have other problems and lack communication. He is just not interested in the relation, just what he can get out of it. Selfish and childish behavior and she just had enough...
He's so obviously in the wrong. Sometimes it's not a two sides thing. It's one is more right than the other
Uff. Every second was so relatable, and i know not just to me. It's horrible how many people suffer in these kinds of relationships, begging for the bare minimum and bending over backwards for someone who won't even lift a little finger.
And how they're so good at turning these discussions around to make you seem unreasonable or crazy. It's infuriating. Girls and boys, don't settle for someone who makes you feel like that. A relationship shouldn't make you feel like every interaction is a strain. You should find peace in love, not a second full time job.
I am so so glad that i have found a man who actually acts like one, and not like a child.
Looks like a nice house. How come it doesn't have a dishwasher?
Ever heard of a pan, pot, wineglasses. Some things are not made dor the washer
@@johanbundschuh7510 It actually saves water to use the dishwasher for pots and pans and all of that instead of doing it by hand.
Of course there are some special versions of all of this that absolutely cannot go into the dishwasher, but it seems to me that when someone wants those versions they should volunteer to clean them themselves
Honestly I had the dish fight frequently, in my case I was the one that wanted them clean right after dinning. I did the dish very frequently but my wife hated it. So I bought a dishwasher and it´s over. Best 200 bucks I ever spent. I think is better to start a marriage with a dishwasher. Now we fight about HOW yo put dishes inside. She puts everything backwards and I hate how unefficient it is, so I use the machine most of time. My machine, my order. So now we both do this task. It´s a stupid recurrent fight and it resolves with little money. Same with floor and windows cleaning, just go buy some robots and it´s done.
@@SJA962are robots good enough right now?
I think that doing the dishes by machine is not good. Never used a dishwasher machine but how can that be good? Rubbing the sponge is king for me
It does. But for some reason, the dishwasher keeps yelling at my man.
My husband and I have been happily together for 6 years married for 1 with a baby on the way. Clear communication is what has carried us through all our years and we’ve only ever bickered. Thankfully we’ve never had bad fights BECAUSE we communicate well. Now dealing with morning sickness he’ll get up and deal with the pets and make breakfast because he knows how hard mornings have been for me.
Yeah wait till the baby arrives.
@@bimmeronline I was gonna say, it's really hard to communicate your needs when this little human needs so much more. It's hard to talk over a crying baby and feel heard..this is coming from someone with two kids
6 WHOLE years? Those are rookie numbers 😂
Your baby isn't even here yet, enjoy the honeymoon phase for the time being
After the baby arrives, please remember what you wrote here. You whole lives will change, this experience will transform you and your relationship. If it's for better or for worse, only you will see, based on how well you will keep your promises to eachother.
@ We know a baby changes everything, but I will say we’ve been through a lot in 6 years, more than most, and I think that’s where our strength comes from. We also pray to God and keep Him close too. Only He will know how it’ll go, but don’t forget that many people have stayed married with kids. I think the internet is just full of haters. But you never know what will happen. I know I have faith in what will.
This guy is going to be really sorry when she leaves. She doesn’t deserve this.
You have to lose someone really good to learn what this numbnuts cannot understand.
This sums up well why living alone is such a good deal. Music, pets, and a clean sink.
I like how this is a typical rocmantic comedy but they let this scene go as hard as they did without jokes and just pure good dialogue.
I am a married man for 27 years. She is right in this case. He should offer with the dishes and play video games later. She is not a maid
She is a housewife, it's her duty to do dishes. If she had a job it was different, but even then she would have been wrong with her demands.
or how about just chill for a while and after getting energy back from socializing, then do the dishes?
both are working full time, but the wife is supposed to also handle the whole household on her own- of course they're gonna break up this way
This was so funny but super accurate. They're talking at each other not to each other.
I think the best way is to cut the argument short at the beginning, with a hug and a kiss to calm down 1st, and talk it out calmly 15 minutes later...
yupp after :50 secs when he said he'd do the dishes.. even though he was mad. dont say anything until after he's done then just say thank you with a hug or something.. us men are very simple.