How ADHD Affects Relationships | Dr. Lenne' Hunt

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  • Опубліковано 14 січ 2025

КОМЕНТАРІ • 80

  • @TheOneAndOnlyStuart
    @TheOneAndOnlyStuart 3 роки тому +14

    I’m 33 years old and I just figured out I have ADHD this summer. Trying to get diagnosed has been frustratingly long and painful. I’ve hyper focusing for hours nearly every single day for 5 months, just researching.
    Reading articles, studies, statistics.
    Watching lectures, and how to’s…
    This video re-contextualized a lot of memories, for me, throughout my entire life.
    It’s 11:00 Wednesday night and I’m sitting in my backyard just…. crying.
    So much crying
    I get my diagnosis in about 2 weeks.

    • @drdavidbhawkins
      @drdavidbhawkins  3 роки тому +2

      Our prayers are with you. We understand it helps to have a name to what you are experiencing, and while diagnoses can be helpful for getting the right treatment, remember also that you are not defined by your diagnoses.

    • @wendyhannan2454
      @wendyhannan2454 Рік тому +1

      You are not alone. I found once diagnosed I was a little down, but after reading all I could and learning how to manage it, I’ve excepted it. I now do the best I can, and work with it. We are not lazy, we are tired we work hard, we are smart we just do things differently. We need to be kind to ourselves.

  • @robbytheartist3997
    @robbytheartist3997 2 роки тому +10

    Omg. You are so spot in to my life. I have a ADHD wife and son. It's so fucking hard man. I don't want to run away. To many men run from their problems. Im here cuz I just want to understand them better so that I can love them unconditionally and help them the best I can. I have to critical assess all the time for them. I do all the hard work in the home, even child care. I need a behavioral strategy. I constantly find myself struggling to keep patience with my family.

    • @drdavidbhawkins
      @drdavidbhawkins  2 роки тому

      Thanks for your comment. We hope you are able to find some support and guidance from people who understand what you are going through and know how to help.

    • @Tcray430
      @Tcray430 2 роки тому +1

      Im. sorry man.. I understand your pain.. its a serious condition!

    • @robbytheartist3997
      @robbytheartist3997 2 роки тому

      @@Tcray430 Yeah man. Are you in the same situation?

    • @Tcray430
      @Tcray430 2 роки тому +1

      @@robbytheartist3997 I was just datina a trauma therapist for 6 months. She owns her own therapy business. I thought I was extremely lucky to find someone like her and felt intimidated by her success.. Shit didn't hit the fan till I actually started spending alot of time with her. Now, she told me she stuff from Adhd, ocd, anxiety and depression. I didn't think adhd was this serious, so I just overlooked it,and figure I would just go along with it. Based off of her stories, it just seemed as if her ex boyfriends were just messed up. I learned that this woman is extremely difficult to be with. She could not listen to what I'm telling her. She hallucinate through then night so she gets no sleep. She create realities that dosent exist. Blames me for all of her frustrations. She expected me to talk about buying a house with her before six months of dating. Her entire family Is dysfunctional due to autism and adhd running through all of them. I tried to talk everything through with her. Till she just blocked her phone and won't even respond to text. Its like I don't exist anymore. It's fucked up. I have n o idea where I went wrong. After reading about adhd, this is pretty typical when being in a relationship with an adhd person. I rather she ghost me now than after a year of this madness. It was good in the beginning because I would only visit her for about an hour or so per week. Once I got close, I see some scary shit. She zones out at night. I though she was having a seizure the last night I saw her. She blamed me for awaking her and kicked me out. No idea what I did. she just turned on me and hated me out the blue. very scary!

    • @robbytheartist3997
      @robbytheartist3997 2 роки тому +1

      @@Tcray430 in oh my goodness. My wife just has bad communication skills, however I am working through it with them. It sounds like you came out of it without kids so that is a plus. You don't have to worry to much about that. Just heal and keep going with your life. They aren't bad ppl, just difficult to live with. Overall, I love her and the kids.

  • @kevintracy7764
    @kevintracy7764 2 роки тому +6

    I have been married to a person for 22 years with significant ADHD. We have had many good memories. Also deep painful ones also that seem to threaten our marriage almost monthly. Thank you for this video is very helpful.

    • @drdavidbhawkins
      @drdavidbhawkins  2 роки тому

      Glad you found this helpful, for more related content, subscribe to our channel or sign up for our newsletter to get helpful tips and advice delivered directly to your Inbox: marriagerecoverycenter.com/mailing-list/

  • @BGP_23
    @BGP_23 Рік тому +1

    I am 52 and when you were telling Johnny's story I heard so much commonality to my own story except with more physical, verbal, and emotional negative components. It actually almost had me in tears hearing this after having lived it for so long.

  • @sbgonzalez167
    @sbgonzalez167 2 роки тому +14

    I was married to a woman like Johnny for 3 years. I picked up the slack and cleaned, paid bills, took care of the pet, did my damn best to be affectionate and engaging, was responsible and showed up for her. My ex couldn’t bother to clean up the litter box once in those 3 years.
    Her ADHD ruined the trust I had on her. Eventually I stopped counting on her doing anything to help me and I grew bitter, resentful. Her constantly dropping the ball and asking me to help her with the most inane things drove me nuts.
    Eventually, her inattentiveness to our relationship and marriage pushed me away. I would beg for affection and she would be so hyper focused on whatever frilly thing came along that I would feel unappreciated and rejected.
    So while ADHD sufferers need support and consideration, I would also emphasize that people that are in relationships with ADHD sufferers don’t need to be in them. ADHD sufferers also need to be accountable for their behaviors.

    • @drdavidbhawkins
      @drdavidbhawkins  2 роки тому +3

      Thanks for sharing your perspective. The key is for each person to become more aware of their impact on the other, and the relationship.

    • @bzmzlznsz1000
      @bzmzlznsz1000 2 роки тому

      @@drdavidbhawkins he cheated on her

    • @stormythomson9709
      @stormythomson9709 2 роки тому

      The story of Johnny makes me want to cry. It hits me so hard. And I feel bad for this man's ex. While I understand his feelings, the inability to focus on what you need to do is terrible because it's not that you don't WANT to focus(really I don't want to call the vets office 3x in one week to be able to remember date and time to be there) it's so hard trying EVERYTHING you can to keep things straight and then having what sincerely feels like constant attacks on who you are because you can't focus on mundane things.(I am putting it as mundane things because ADHDers are fantastic in a crisis)

    • @bzmzlznsz1000
      @bzmzlznsz1000 2 роки тому

      @@stormythomson9709 bro do t feel bad for he cheated on his ex

    • @9lirika
      @9lirika 2 роки тому +1

      I'm taking a screenshot of your comment....being an adhd suffere,i need to hear this....but there is one thing you should know...we love you somuch...i mean adhders love their spouse somuch....we are wired like that.....to remember that we are affected with adhd every hour of the day is the only way for us to fight adhd...

  • @stewarthowell6781
    @stewarthowell6781 2 роки тому +3

    I listened to this and I cried the entire way through. I have never felt understood and emphasized with on this level, and it really highlighted the challenges I feel in my everyday life. Especially when you talked about how the great mental effort for even basic focus is rarely seen.
    It has been a huge problem for my wife and I. Especially as we are busier and have more responsibilities in our life.

    • @drdavidbhawkins
      @drdavidbhawkins  2 роки тому +1

      Thanks for your feedback. We are so glad you found it helpful and hope that you are getting the appropriate help to navigate your unique challenges. If you would like to learn how we can help, please reach out to us at marriagerecoverycenter.com/contact-us/

  • @TheFuture1982
    @TheFuture1982 Рік тому +5

    I feel like sometimes it’s difficult for the person with ADHD to understand or more importantly admit all of the ways in which trying to do life with them can be very challenging at times. I feel like if you want me to understand and be patient, then you can’t forget and have to do the work, and be open to talk honestly about it.

    • @drdavidbhawkins
      @drdavidbhawkins  Рік тому

      That is very true. Thanks for sharing.

    • @kjthawriter
      @kjthawriter Рік тому +2

      I feel like the partner that does not have adhd is the most overlooked part of the adhd story. We actually suffer forms of abuse at the hands of an individual with this type of condition. To force a mental issue on another human and expect them to live like that is unrealistic.

    • @paradisemiles232
      @paradisemiles232 4 місяці тому +1

      @@kjthawriter it literally leaves you with abuse wounds but you don't feel right characterizing it that way cause it's not malicious

  • @bradfielder6126
    @bradfielder6126 3 роки тому +1

    Oh my gosh! It’s like you have been watching the story arc of my life, my inner thoughts, and took notes. Wow. Closest explanation of my life with ADHD I’ve ever heard.
    I took medication for a brief time as a child, and didn’t get back on it until a month ago (45 now). Now I’m trying to make up for lost time. Thank you for shedding light on this very real condition that still doesn’t get taken seriously enough.

    • @drdavidbhawkins
      @drdavidbhawkins  3 роки тому

      Glad it was helpful and hope that you are getting the help and support you need.

  • @jenniferlabruzzo3922
    @jenniferlabruzzo3922 7 місяців тому

    This is so very accurate , well thought out and well expressed

  • @margiel2180
    @margiel2180 2 роки тому +2

    I'm thanking God that he led me to this video I want to talk to my boyfriend sister he's got ADHD this explains everything I am going through and what he went through as a child thank you I liked and subscribed I have tears in my eyes thank you so much God bless you

    • @drdavidbhawkins
      @drdavidbhawkins  2 роки тому

      So glad you found it helpful! Dr. Lenne' Hunt is a wonderful resource for people who are struggling with this. Please reach out if you would like help: marriagerecoverycenter.com/contact-us/

  • @poyahedayati7744
    @poyahedayati7744 Рік тому +1

    I’ve been Johnny all my life.
    To my surprise I’ve done very well but also I have to work ten times harder than everyone else. Lots of lost relationships because of it. 😢

  • @Rahona07
    @Rahona07 3 роки тому +5

    Story of my life. :_______( I have to say my wife is an angel. Love how you explain everything so clear. Thank you!

  • @Supremebean303
    @Supremebean303 2 роки тому

    I’m in tears watching this. All of this growing up and into now being 31😔

  • @msingh8181
    @msingh8181 3 роки тому +4

    Thank you for the work you are doing.
    My son at age 7 was diagnosed with ADHD. It was then when alarm bells started to ring.
    I'm a 42 year old male.
    Undiagnosed Adhd has led to me suffering child trauma and then contributing to BPD in adulthood. In my youth there was less awareness of this condition. Unfortunately it plagued my life to the extent that my marriage also broke down and i experienced multiple mental breakdowns.
    Thankfully i have now for the the 1st time in my life started to understand, accept and in turn manage my ADHD and am living my best life.
    Most importantly i can raise my child who also has this condition.
    Feeling'normal' feels like jubilation! Because it's unfamiliar territory.
    There is a way to live a fulfilling life with ADHD. If your experience is similar, you can do it.

    • @drdavidbhawkins
      @drdavidbhawkins  3 роки тому

      How wonderful to hear that you are now doing well and can be a light to others who are experiencing similar struggles.

  • @StephenEtherington
    @StephenEtherington 2 роки тому +1

    I am in the UK and I found this video looking to understand what has happened to my marriage, your words have touched me deeply but as an adult that has recently been diagnosed it would appear the help has come to late for my wife. I wish I had found this a year ago when my journey began. 😢

    • @drdavidbhawkins
      @drdavidbhawkins  2 роки тому +1

      But you found it now, and it's never too late to change, to grow and keep learning to show up to this life the best you can. Glad you found it helpful. For more related content, subscribe to our channel or sign up for our newsletter to get helpful tips and advice delivered directly to your Inbox: marriagerecoverycenter.com/mailing-list/

  • @jabbadeezhutz
    @jabbadeezhutz 2 роки тому +1

    I’ve never related to anything more in my life. Remembering my childhood, seeing the same pattern and situations happening to my younger family members. I always thought I was the only one like this and that something has always been wrong with me. I didn’t know there were other people like me until recently and I am 28.

    • @drdavidbhawkins
      @drdavidbhawkins  2 роки тому

      Glad you found it helpful, thank you for your feedback. For more related content, subscribe to our channel. Or, book a free consultation with our Client Care Team to learn how we can help: bit.ly/3I0dntB

  • @poyammc
    @poyammc Рік тому

    I’m 52. I lost my girlfriend because of my issues again. All my life I have lost because of this. Now I know. Sad.

  • @candaceyaklich1648
    @candaceyaklich1648 3 роки тому +1

    Thank you for sharing this information. This is even helpful for me being able to better help my 10 year old son!

    • @drdavidbhawkins
      @drdavidbhawkins  3 роки тому

      So glad you found this helpful! For more related content, subscribe to our UA-cam channel, or sign up for our mailing list for helpful articles and marriage saving tips delivered directly to your Inbox: marriagerecoverycenter.com/mailing-list/

  • @tilldeathdouspartharmonytr9829
    @tilldeathdouspartharmonytr9829 2 роки тому +2

    All the beginning of the video describes me to a T.
    I was diagnosed combined type.
    In adulthood. Life was confusing before the diagnosis but after it was obviously more easier to understand myself.
    However all symptoms listed I agree with apart from.
    I've always took the relationship seriously. I hear ever sound every smell every memory everything said to a direct qoute. I forget everything else going on in life like appointments deadlines etc I do a million things all at the same time I cant sleep I'm up all hours going through my thoughts all 1000 of them.
    But I have a photographic memory for words things that have been said or done.
    I'm sure I'm not the only one with this trait of Adhd but none of the videos mention this the personality disorder I think in real terms is just us trying to fit in so we act one way but when we're exhausted we are our true self and haven't the energy or the care left for keeping up appearances. It's tuff for both sides. And we do already by adulthood have a strange view on ourselves because of all the negative misunderstanding of childhood in a neuro typical world.
    Thank God the children today have a better chance and the world a better understanding. 🙏💙

    • @drdavidbhawkins
      @drdavidbhawkins  2 роки тому

      Thanks for sharing and hope that you are getting the help you need to thrive despite the challenges. God Bless.

  • @timhunt7765
    @timhunt7765 3 роки тому +3

    Lenne, I'm sure we have never met before. That was the most succinct unwrapping of my life that I have ever heard. It would be wonderful beyond measure if the counselors who had the most skill and ability in helping people, also had as deep an understanding of the challenges that our cohort faces every day, as you have exhibited in this video.......wow, wouldn't that be great?

    • @drdavidbhawkins
      @drdavidbhawkins  3 роки тому

      Thank you for your feedback, and we hope that you are getting the help you need. God Bless.

  • @JEFFMAN90
    @JEFFMAN90 2 роки тому +7

    ADHDers we must stop dating or being in relationships with neurotypicals. They do not care about our struggles with our disorders. I'd rather being in a relationship with a woman who has ADHD as well because she will an understanding of what I go through and not nag and complain everyday

    • @drdavidbhawkins
      @drdavidbhawkins  2 роки тому

      Thanks for your comment. If you found this video helpful, subscribe to our channel for more related content, or sign up for our newsletters for helpful articles and videos from our therapists sent to your inbox: marriagerecoverycenter.com/mailing-list/

    • @stormythomson9709
      @stormythomson9709 2 роки тому +3

      I honestly don't know if both partners in the relationship having ADHD makes it any easier. Both people searching for that dopamine can lead to problems when one goes inattentive because of other things.

    • @tiffanyferguson829
      @tiffanyferguson829 2 роки тому +4

      As a woman with ADHD who's dating a man with ADHD I don't belive that to be true since its a spectrum.

  • @therealMrGrey365
    @therealMrGrey365 2 роки тому

    I'm constantly apologizing to my wife for my behavior, she doesn't even want my apologies anymore..I've tried to show her info about ADHD and she shot me down...

    • @drdavidbhawkins
      @drdavidbhawkins  2 роки тому

      People in neurodiverse relationships face unique challenges, you can seek help even if your wife does t want to.

  • @tylerearnest7266
    @tylerearnest7266 2 роки тому

    I'm 30 years old and all my relationships have been long term of 3 to 10 years and all gave been narcissistic ppl and I pray that I can find help with me and my mind. I cant remember anything ever or where u put the most important things and believing in my choices are never good they always are wrong and all the trauma I've had my whole life have been emotionally hard but I dont ever have money to get help and it makes ppl like us struggle because no funds available and it's just hard

    • @drdavidbhawkins
      @drdavidbhawkins  2 роки тому

      Thanks for sharing your perspective, there is so much content out there available nowdays, hope you are finding the resources you need to help you heal from your trauma. We will be publishing some videos soon on how EMDR can be used to overcome trauma, so be sure to subscribe to our channel to be notified of new content.

  • @ScottStClair-rn3ky
    @ScottStClair-rn3ky 3 роки тому

    One of the best !

  • @cometrx1340
    @cometrx1340 2 роки тому +1

    What is the ADHD and narcissistic traits connection?

    • @drdavidbhawkins
      @drdavidbhawkins  2 роки тому

      We are not saying there is one necessarily. Dr. Hunt is talking about other issues and disorders that cause challenges in relationships. That said, there are many people who are mis-labeled as being narcissistic when in fact they are dealing with Asperger's, autism or ADHD.

    • @9lirika
      @9lirika 2 роки тому

      @@drdavidbhawkins narcissm is entirely different...while adhders effect their life in negative way because of inattention to things that matter,narcissts on the other hand effect spouses life ina negative,disastrous way....

  • @rightousray2
    @rightousray2 Рік тому +2

    Is it me or do all adhd videos about how adhd affects relationships talk about anything but how adhd affects relationships. It’s like…. Someone with adhd made the video…

  • @christinefinn6180
    @christinefinn6180 Рік тому

    So is it also similar to sensory processing disorder auditory being overwhelmed.. maybe could you post videos of how loved ones can help in intimate relationships especially when alcohol issues.. how can we best help without causing conflict..

  • @Yahman1969
    @Yahman1969 Рік тому

    Do people with adhd in relationships say very hurtful things then regret it later

    • @drdavidbhawkins
      @drdavidbhawkins  Рік тому

      Anyone that is dysregulated has a hard time controlling impulsive behaviors.

    • @Yahman1969
      @Yahman1969 Рік тому

      @@drdavidbhawkins how do we respond to it

  • @matthewcallaghan1512
    @matthewcallaghan1512 Рік тому

    Do they say hurtful things then regret it?

  • @orlandonorona7679
    @orlandonorona7679 Рік тому

    Hi!!
    I found this video because I trying to figure out my self, I'm 50 year old it's been very difficult and frustrating 😖😔 for me to understand myself my partner let me, it’s been so hard because I thought everything was my fault i blame myself for everything she blamed me that I never listen. She says that I had never paying attention to her. I'm Very frustrating, I love her so much I never meant to hurt her for any shape or form and I don't know how to Express me self it hurts inside 😢😢 I’m very depressed and trying to see what kind the symptoms I have, but you describe pretty much how I feel inside in the video and see if I have something because my head is going wild inside, I cannot handle no morei don't know what to do😢😢

    • @drdavidbhawkins
      @drdavidbhawkins  Рік тому +1

      A trained counselor can help you sort through the confusion and frustration. Once you understand what is driving the behaviors and feelings, they become much easier to manage. To learn how we can help, please reach out at info@marriagerecoverycenter.com or (206) 219-0145

  • @user-bs4ck6zy8v
    @user-bs4ck6zy8v Рік тому

    I’m 40 and just found out I have this weird ass shit, no wonder school has been impossible, even book I completely love I can barely finish, I’m going to start taking mushrooms 🍄 f it.

  • @jalalstephens7457
    @jalalstephens7457 11 місяців тому

    Thays new school i was beaten for my behavior

  • @ds200O
    @ds200O Рік тому

    This video was definitely not made for people with ADHD who can't stay focused on one thing- the talking is SO slow, I don't have ADHD and I lost interest quick. I had to speed up the vid. Good information, but maybe speed up the talking and don't make it drag just to emphasize the empathy. Respectfully, lol

  • @VaughnPel
    @VaughnPel Рік тому

    Z. Z.