Dang. Something about your crying conversation just unlocked something in me that I've always kind of understood but never fully connected until now. I 100% approach crying as "Oh someone made me cry," even if that's someone is literally just myself, and I often won't allow myself to cry if something other than literal tragedy does upset me because it feels like I'm giving the "person" I'm blaming, correctly or incorrectly, too much power. And it's because there was a solid year in elementary school where this bully would make me cry almost every single day. But thanks for being my temporary therapists because I just now I'm able to recognize, "oh. I might actually just be crying because that's what my body needs to do. Not because anyone is actually the sole reason for it." Or if someone else cries around me, I don't need to blame myself or rush to fix the problem, I need to let their body process what it needs to process.
Caroline, I had a teacher like your Granddad and it had a huge impact. I am dyslexic/neurodivergent and I do not test well. I was taking a college writing course and the midterm exam was to write an essay in an hour. I could not do it, I was crossing out entire pages and trying to rewrite things and when the time was up I basically had nothing - except tears, lots of those. The professor came and talked to me when everyone was leaving and explained that she didn't care about my performance on a test and that the mark I would receive for the course would be based on my skill for the overall curriculum. That helped shift my mindset and I took my assignments seriously, even getting an A+ on a paper for the first time. I finished the course with an A and the knowledge that one weakness doesn't define me. I'm sure your Granddad changed many of his students' minds too. 💕
ugh love that for you 💗😌 I think this would have really benefitted me as a young girl (i might have had one prof in uni do so for me, which I’m thankful he let me pass, but also it was during a time i was running on fumes 😔 which long story short affected grades across most my classes)
I'm so sorry you experienced all that dizziness, Jess! I take medication for a neurological disorder, and it's happened a few times that I've accidentally taken a double dose of the medication which caused symptoms very similar to what you're describing (severe dizziness, blurry vision, unable to walk or focus my eyes). The medication causes low sodium which causes this. I bring this up because you said it got better after drinking pedialyte and Gatorade which are high in sodium for electrolytes. I'm not a doctor by any means, so I could be very wrong, but low sodium could be part of the problem as well. So sorry you experienced this, it's a miserable time! Love the pod!
I think most famous museums are honestly just too big. It IS too much information to take in and retain, especially if most of the rooms are designed to just white walls and little to no seating. My favorite museums are the ones that you can easily complete in under 2 hours. I went to the biggest art museum in the world once (the Louvre) and immediately realized that if you go into something like that without a specific plan and a mapped out itinerary, you will just become exhausted. I gave up after about an hour and a half cuz as much as I walked I still managed to only get through three exhibits because they just had too much stuff! And if I'd gone with someone like my sister who absolutely wants to read every single plaque, we probably would have only gotten through one
Wow, audio volume warning for 36:19 eek Hess! Typical coffee will not dehydrate you; the fluid content is enough to balance the mild diuretic effect from the caffeine.
1:17:07 For the first time in my life, I'm NC with my dad after a looong history of abusive mistreatment, and I keep repeating the mantra, "Expect the worst (ie. expect for him not to change), but hope for the best." And that's exactly what you guys are talking about. Not necessarily holding your breath that someone will grow or change, but still leaving a thread of hope that they can/will. This conversation also reminds me of the very profound conversation Caroline had (on her own channel, maybe?? I forget...) about shame, à la Dr. Brené Brown. About how shaming someone (or shaming yourself) actually is relaying the message that the person (or you, yourself) isn't capable of changing. So yes, sure, of course, hold people accountable. But also don't shame them, because you CAN reconcile 1. maintaining your boundaries and holding others accountable with 2. also not shaming them and with leaving space for the possibility/hope that they can change. (I'll edit this comment and link to that video segment if I can find it.) EDIT: I found it! ua-cam.com/video/9WtG0z77GHc/v-deo.htmlsi=d03oUOltQ8hII10p&t=1102
The reality now is that anyone can start a podcast, and especially with covid, pretty much everyone has, so finding the really great stuff is going to be a lot harder just because of the sheer volume and the lack of quality control. People don't really report on or write articles about podcasts in the same way that we do TV shows, and I bet a lot of those Reddit comments were actually secretly people who created those podcasts because, again, just about anyone can begin one now
lol just finished listening to caroline talking about spy museum date guy and all i gotta say is he and I would probably be great friends who go to museums to read everything LOL whether I retained the info is not of value unless something truly interested me but I would have had fun like he did plus enjoy interactive games and such.
Caroline!!! I’m an ex-Catholic myself. What you explained in this podcast at your grandparents’ funeral is GRACE! Grace and mercy. I LOVE JESUS but NOT the Catholic Jesus. The church has truly misguided Jesus’ teachings in the past hundred years!!!! Give people grace, the same Grace that God gives us, daily. ❤❤
I don't think it's professional to talk about what your direct report did (crying etc) in a meeting for the world to hear. Even omitting the name doesn't save her from other coworkers potentially knowing or assuming who you are talking about. And you mentioned you had to talk with her about performance smh. You encouraged her to be honest and then shared it publicly. That is untrustworthy not to mention unprofessional. I'd contact HR if my manager did this.
i hear ya, and though I didn’t see it that way, that makes sense. And, yet, I also appreciate jess sharing some work related thing that was important to both parties involved and relevant AND another perspective of the crying topic; also, I feel no intimate vulnerable details were shared in relation to her subordinate nor was jess bad-mouthing the other party, and I love that it was a moment of connection for jess and the other party.
@divinelymoowah6104 but mentioning crying and performance issues is very vulnerable and intimate. While she did omit the name, it's not hard for someone at the company to take a guess at who she is talking about here. Eta: to give her the benefit of the doubt, maybe it's a reference to a past job or employee and there is no way anyone could mistake it for anyone currently reporting to her.
Yes... God gives us grace every day. He looks for the "A" instead of the "F". The catholic church looks for the "F" in order to keep CONTROL over the people. I left the catholic, baptist, pentecostal, and even the "non-denominational" churches within the last 9 years. All I have (and all I want) is my own quiet and personal relationship with Christ. He is all-merciful and ever-loving God.
Dang. Something about your crying conversation just unlocked something in me that I've always kind of understood but never fully connected until now. I 100% approach crying as "Oh someone made me cry," even if that's someone is literally just myself, and I often won't allow myself to cry if something other than literal tragedy does upset me because it feels like I'm giving the "person" I'm blaming, correctly or incorrectly, too much power. And it's because there was a solid year in elementary school where this bully would make me cry almost every single day. But thanks for being my temporary therapists because I just now I'm able to recognize, "oh. I might actually just be crying because that's what my body needs to do. Not because anyone is actually the sole reason for it." Or if someone else cries around me, I don't need to blame myself or rush to fix the problem, I need to let their body process what it needs to process.
Caroline, I had a teacher like your Granddad and it had a huge impact. I am dyslexic/neurodivergent and I do not test well. I was taking a college writing course and the midterm exam was to write an essay in an hour. I could not do it, I was crossing out entire pages and trying to rewrite things and when the time was up I basically had nothing - except tears, lots of those. The professor came and talked to me when everyone was leaving and explained that she didn't care about my performance on a test and that the mark I would receive for the course would be based on my skill for the overall curriculum. That helped shift my mindset and I took my assignments seriously, even getting an A+ on a paper for the first time. I finished the course with an A and the knowledge that one weakness doesn't define me. I'm sure your Granddad changed many of his students' minds too. 💕
ugh love that for you 💗😌 I think this would have really benefitted me as a young girl (i might have had one prof in uni do so for me, which I’m thankful he let me pass, but also it was during a time i was running on fumes 😔 which long story short affected grades across most my classes)
I'm so sorry you experienced all that dizziness, Jess! I take medication for a neurological disorder, and it's happened a few times that I've accidentally taken a double dose of the medication which caused symptoms very similar to what you're describing (severe dizziness, blurry vision, unable to walk or focus my eyes). The medication causes low sodium which causes this. I bring this up because you said it got better after drinking pedialyte and Gatorade which are high in sodium for electrolytes. I'm not a doctor by any means, so I could be very wrong, but low sodium could be part of the problem as well. So sorry you experienced this, it's a miserable time! Love the pod!
YASSSSS. I LOVE Ira Glass. When he came to my small town and hosted a live show I could’ve died happy and fulfilled in life.
bold of you to assume I wasn’t already crying when this popped up on my feed 😢😅
I don't have Instagram BUT I HAVE A HOT TAKE: When people say they're "based in (city)" instead of saying "I live in (city)"
Shout out Morgan for being such a homie
For real! Where would I be without these ladies? Thank you Morgan. You did a solid.
Caroline - how is your hair so shiny? It's always like glistening, it's amazing!
I think most famous museums are honestly just too big. It IS too much information to take in and retain, especially if most of the rooms are designed to just white walls and little to no seating. My favorite museums are the ones that you can easily complete in under 2 hours. I went to the biggest art museum in the world once (the Louvre) and immediately realized that if you go into something like that without a specific plan and a mapped out itinerary, you will just become exhausted. I gave up after about an hour and a half cuz as much as I walked I still managed to only get through three exhibits because they just had too much stuff! And if I'd gone with someone like my sister who absolutely wants to read every single plaque, we probably would have only gotten through one
I am a newbie to this podcast & just have to say, thank you so much for making this! I really appreciate y'all!
I appreciate hearing someone talk about catholicism can enable abuse cycles, thank you for sharing Caroline
Just wanted to recommend the podcast Swindled to Caroline. It's done really well.
Wow, audio volume warning for 36:19 eek Hess!
Typical coffee will not dehydrate you; the fluid content is enough to balance the mild diuretic effect from the caffeine.
Jess you sound like such a good boss to have 🫂
1:17:07 For the first time in my life, I'm NC with my dad after a looong history of abusive mistreatment, and I keep repeating the mantra, "Expect the worst (ie. expect for him not to change), but hope for the best." And that's exactly what you guys are talking about. Not necessarily holding your breath that someone will grow or change, but still leaving a thread of hope that they can/will. This conversation also reminds me of the very profound conversation Caroline had (on her own channel, maybe?? I forget...) about shame, à la Dr. Brené Brown. About how shaming someone (or shaming yourself) actually is relaying the message that the person (or you, yourself) isn't capable of changing. So yes, sure, of course, hold people accountable. But also don't shame them, because you CAN reconcile 1. maintaining your boundaries and holding others accountable with 2. also not shaming them and with leaving space for the possibility/hope that they can change. (I'll edit this comment and link to that video segment if I can find it.) EDIT: I found it! ua-cam.com/video/9WtG0z77GHc/v-deo.htmlsi=d03oUOltQ8hII10p&t=1102
"There was nothing wrong with the date, it was just literally hard to see or hear him." Caroline, your hot take on the date has me cracking up!
The reality now is that anyone can start a podcast, and especially with covid, pretty much everyone has, so finding the really great stuff is going to be a lot harder just because of the sheer volume and the lack of quality control. People don't really report on or write articles about podcasts in the same way that we do TV shows, and I bet a lot of those Reddit comments were actually secretly people who created those podcasts because, again, just about anyone can begin one now
lols the paisley conversation 🤣 ahhh you girls, too funny
If you're looking for a great storytelling podcast, I highly recommend Ghost Story on Wondery.
lol just finished listening to caroline talking about spy museum date guy and all i gotta say is he and I would probably be great friends who go to museums to read everything LOL whether I retained the info is not of value unless something truly interested me but I would have had fun like he did plus enjoy interactive games and such.
I'm home alone at night and the shopify ding scared me so much
LOL...... Caroline, you us the story in one of your VLogs. I remember it clearly and loved hearing about you needing to get tacos............
Just So Stories by Rudyard Kipling totally a thing. It’s a whole book of short stories.
Caroline!!! I’m an ex-Catholic myself. What you explained in this podcast at your grandparents’ funeral is GRACE! Grace and mercy. I LOVE JESUS but NOT the Catholic Jesus.
The church has truly misguided Jesus’ teachings in the past hundred years!!!!
Give people grace, the same Grace that God gives us, daily. ❤❤
Yes. Museum fatique and library fatique. 😅
Jess!!! Was the antibiotic called Metronidozale??? I have that same reaction to it. Not as severely but very similar!
okay, paisley..recently I’ve grown to like it, more than I have before lol. I don’t own any lol though I want to 😆 which, I get the hate hahahahaha
hey hey hey paisley ties are where it is at!
"I want pictures of your 'pais'"😂
I cry pretty much every single day, sometimes multiple times a day. Am i ok? 🤣🤣🤣🤣
How the elephant got his trunk? There are a few stories like this about animals by Kipling
I used to go to the barnes and noble at the mall to use the bathroom 🤣 I didn’t have to use the mall bathrooms that way ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I also asked for an application once and the employee looked me up and down and said “do you read?”💀💀💀 I was so upset lol
Please I have a long skirt w paisley pattern and it's my favorite skirt 😭
I don't think it's professional to talk about what your direct report did (crying etc) in a meeting for the world to hear. Even omitting the name doesn't save her from other coworkers potentially knowing or assuming who you are talking about. And you mentioned you had to talk with her about performance smh. You encouraged her to be honest and then shared it publicly. That is untrustworthy not to mention unprofessional. I'd contact HR if my manager did this.
i hear ya, and though I didn’t see it that way, that makes sense. And, yet, I also appreciate jess sharing some work related thing that was important to both parties involved and relevant AND another perspective of the crying topic; also, I feel no intimate vulnerable details were shared in relation to her subordinate nor was jess bad-mouthing the other party, and I love that it was a moment of connection for jess and the other party.
@divinelymoowah6104 but mentioning crying and performance issues is very vulnerable and intimate. While she did omit the name, it's not hard for someone at the company to take a guess at who she is talking about here. Eta: to give her the benefit of the doubt, maybe it's a reference to a past job or employee and there is no way anyone could mistake it for anyone currently reporting to her.
i don’t disagree, and i’m not interested to convince you otherwise; i’m saying my focus from this part was different
yes you are f*cking beautiful. :)
Yes... God gives us grace every day. He looks for the "A" instead of the "F". The catholic church looks for the "F" in order to keep CONTROL over the people. I left the catholic, baptist, pentecostal, and even the "non-denominational" churches within the last 9 years. All I have (and all I want) is my own quiet and personal relationship with Christ. He is all-merciful and ever-loving God.