Breaking The Silence: The Reality of My Marriage and Motherhood Journey
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- Опубліковано 31 тра 2024
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Hi guys, today, we have a SOLO episode! I love my job and I love being able to connect with you all through social media but I’m also hyper-aware of how it impacts our minds and perceptions of those we follow. We know by now that social media isn’t REAL, it’s all the best parts and it often flattens us into two-dimensional characters. And it is so important that we remember that we are all more complex, that we’re all trying our best to figure things out as we go. There’s no such things as a perfect parent or a perfect relationship or a perfect business. We all face challenges whether it’s internal or in our environment and I hope this episode makes you feel less alone in that.
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What I Talked About:
00:00 Intro
01:10 Social media is fake
03:55 Being the perfect and superwoman mother on social media
09:36 Finding balance as a new mom
12:08 Overcoming imposter syndrome
16:56 Embracing feminine energy
27:26 Learning to celebrate accomplishments
31:04 Guilt in motherhood
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Have you struggled with any of the same things? Let me know in the comments - I'd love to hear about your own journeys 🤍
If you enjoyed this episode, please like this video and subscribe to my channel for more Not Alone! Your support means the world to me 🫶 Thank you!
I’ve been following you since 2017, kinda seems that we grew up together ❤️❤️you’re doing amazing!love you ❤️
Subscribed to Valeria’s channel back in 2018 and have been keeping up with each and every one of her videos since then. I feel the exact same way! ❤ Soooo much progress has been done, Valeria really did teach me a lot.
So glad to be on this journey together 🥹❤ Thank you for sticking around. Sending so much love!!
Such a great episode, so genuine and real. The more these challenges are spoken about and true femininity and family structure is celebrated, the better and healthier society we will have as a result.
Hey dont be nervous you are doing a great job! And honestly i think women are slowly starting to wake up from the “girl boss” era and pursuing success in a more holistic feminine way! We dont need to be man to be successful, we dont need to be stressed out of our minds with health issues to be successful. I love seeing that change of mindset.
Yessssss 👏🏻👏🏻
I totally agree!!!!
Why does being confident and assertive have to be labeled as “masculine”? Why should society uphold the idea that women should be “led” by their hypermasculine husband and that doing otherwise is seen as being “oppressive” toward him? If we are going to continue with defining “feminine energy” as being more soft spoken and nurturing, then why shouldn’t men also be encouraged to embrace that side of themselves? This whole concept comes off as very archaic and honestly depressing in terms of the role that it outlines for women in a relationship. I’m so grateful that my fiancé has never interpreted me being confident and outspoken as behaving in a “masculine” way or somehow threatening his own masculinity.
If you and your fiance are happy that’s great. Judging by the comments what Valeria is saying resonates with a lot of people- there’s a good chance it even resonates with women who are strong and outspoken.
That wasn’t the exact message she tried to convey.
I have to say I’m so thankful for the internet and being able to nurture myself with the knowledge of people who are ahead of me! I’m 24 and I’m 100% sure I would not have the clarity (in some aspects) that I have now without my online mentors like Valeria who make this kind of conversations happen ❤
I truly appreciate that you are able to express this thoughts naturally and honestly. You have an amazing soul and I hope you continue enjoying life with your family and yourself. God bless you, thank you for sharing
this podcast felt like a warm & close conversation with you Valeria! Thank you
Finally some ads that actually resonates with the content creator and with me (audience) thanks so much for being so genuine!
❤❤❤ thank you for being here!
Omg thank you for this episode. I also work with my husband, have 3 young children, and struggle with everything you’ve spoken on. The tension between being a boss but then coming home and being a wife, the tension between aspiring to greatness and pursuing dreams v wanting to be the best mom and be there for your kids, the imposter syndrome and regrets on playing small, my mom being the breadwinner and so tough all the time to survive, me going into the office 4 days after the C-section with my first child to get work done when I could barely even walk upright, etc. Everything you said deeply resonated with me. Thank you for articulating the feelings I had trouble putting into words. Thank you for being open and vulnerable and intimate. You’re making a difference. With voices like yours the next generations of women will be so much better off than we are and certainly the women that came before us ❤️
Wow! Thank you so much Valeria for this conversation about losing ourselves as a woman and operating from a masculine energy standpoint and getting burnt out. It happened to me while working in Tech in the aerospace industry, male dominated, I was in competition with men in my coordinator team and with other techs and engineers and it was too much for me. I always felt like a failure, every single day, and I never felt good enough. I got so overwhelmed that I needed to resign. My health took a toll, I needed to focus on my marriage and family and it took about 6 months for me to recover. I feel so much better and happier as opposed to working from the masculine energy. The worst part was being expected to be consistent to be in my masculine from my management all while suppressing my feminine tendencies. I am so glad, that our soft feminine conversations are coming to the surface so we can finally operate from our natural soft woman tendencies and the world needs that.
KC
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This is the best episode ever. ❤ thank you for sharing.
Glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for watching ❤️
Thank you for being you in the process of life ❤ and sharing your messages with so much vulnerability and honesty ♥️ you are such a great example for humanity!
You’re so sweet ❤️🙏🏻 thank you
Thank you thank you thank you so much for talking in such a real way! This helped me a lot, Valeria! I am struggling with getting over the constant overwhelm currently after my third. Just starting my healing journey now. 🙏 ❤
So glad to hear this episode helped!! Sending so much love on your journey ❤️🙏🏻
👏🙌❤️ This Was Such A Great Episode. So Glad That You Discussed This Topic. I've Been Trying To Be More In My Feminine Energy For A While Now. It's So Nice To Know I'm Not The Only One That Has Struggled With This.
9 months post partum here and growing my business but doing so from a place of flow state / relaxation / self care and it’s been the most growth that has happened in my biz to date. There have been times I feel tired but zero pressure to do more. I sleep when I need and try to focus on eating and replenishing my minerals, sauna or bath every day and stretching
That’s amazing self awareness! I’m so proud to hear you’re doing well and taking care of your needs ❤
I should add my body completely gave out being 9 months pregnant so I had no choice but to focus on healing post partum. Being a freelancer in Canada I had no maternity leave and zero income coming in .. not easy to relax but a supportive partner got me through
I absolutely love how open and honest you are
Thank you ❤
I agree with your points made! Thanks for sharing your heart and process with us all. It’s so important to embrace rest all the while still pursuing our passions and goals. The balance is so key. And to work alongside our husbands as team mates and not as competitors makes all the difference. It helps the marriage thrive 🫶🏻
I loved this podcast!! This was wow! Thank you for your honesty!!!❤
This was a great episode! Thanks!
What a beautiful message! Being aware of the different energies such as feminine and masculine is so important. I think it takes a big part in many fights in relationships. Also fully agree with the problematic of opressed feelings.
Thank you for your honesty and opening up in this video ❣️
Absolutely - I love this topic! Ever since I learned about feminine and masculine polarity, it changed everything!
That's a myth. Masculine and feminine aren't real. They are traits and talents and man of woman can have them they're usually just skills lol.
Exactly! Love that you enjoyed this message. It was an eye opening lesson for me and I’m glad to share it with my community in hopes that those going through the same don’t feel alone. Thanks for watching ❤
After I gave birth to my second son I had a kind of burnout-crisis. It felt horrible for a long time but afterwards I can say this was the most important time of my life. I learnt so much about me and I am truly thankful for this experience. Even when it was super hard. It made me so much stronger and healthier. I finally found out who I am and what I need and learnt to be gentle with myself. Regards from Berlin❤
you are always inspiring. You are very open minded, realistic and optimistic
I have followed you since I think 2020. I remember the video I saw was a skincare empty video lol. I am so glad I stuck around to see you just grow from there. I am 20, and you are such an inspiration and I enjoy learning from you ❤❤
Thank you for sticking around! I’m glad to hear my content has inspired you ❤️🥹
Wow I never even thought about the feminine/masculine topic you mentioned and it’s definitely something I experience bringing home with me!
These conversations are veeeery much needed and your authenticity is what we are here for Valeria! And I feel that the masculine-female energy you discussed is something I was talking the other day with my girlfriend, is a podcast series all on its own. You were so spot on all of your thoughts and I think a lot of women could connect to that. P.S no need to mention at the end to send it to other girlfriends who would need to hear this, I was FOR SURE gonna forward it anw ❤️👍
Valeria that is perfect that you try to understand yourself and day by day you try to become more self confident and turly person, never give up, shine bright like a diamond❤❤❤
really enjoyed this!
Thank you so much for this ❤
Thank you for this !!
Hello Valeria! This is such a beautiful, and very inspiring episode. Thank you so much for your kindness,honesty and compassion. You are absolutely amazing. Valeria, you are such a beautiful and wonderful ray of sunshine! You are so very loved by everyone. Love you so much Valeria! Love, Janice and Larry Watson Pittsburgh PA USA
🥹❤️ you always make my day. Thank you for your continuous support, I truly appreciate you. Sending so much love!!
Hello Valeria! It is an absolute pleasure to support you. Thank you so very much for your beautiful message to me! Love you so much Valeria! Love, Janice and Larry Watson Pittsburgh PA USA
Thanks for your deep honest testimony.
I've been following you since 2017. I am 33 years old, 2 kids, passionate about holistic nutrition and wellness, and my significant other is almost 14 years older than I and he is my best friend. I have been going through a soul journey for a while now. I resonate and agree with everything you spoke about in this video it! You are amazing!!
Thanks lovely. Means the world that this conversation resonated with you ❤🥹 wishing you all the best on your journey!!
Well that was a brilliant podcast. Thank you for this. I needed to hear it.
Thank you for watching 🙏🏻
I can't even express how much it means to see this and hear your honest thoughts and experiences Valeria. This is incredible as you are a couple of years ahead of where I am now and hearing what you ended up concluding makes me rethink how I approach my relationship, for instance. I already felt there was something off in this equality paradigm that I also aspired a lot once we started on this journey with my boyfriend. And exactly what you said, what is right for male is not what is necessarily right for women and equality is not just an easy thing that we do/share/approach the things the same way and that's how we are equal. We are notб as women and men are not equal at the start, we are different species. And this embracement of feminine energy, approach, way of being and doing things in all of it is soo essential. Why feminine is seen as a 'weak' energy? It is definitely not and this is what I concluded I need to dedicate more space for in my relationship and it's what our relationship already started to benefit from. So important to hear it hasn't been easy for you,too, Valeria, as I find it also so difficult to switch the gear when you come back home but I also definitely need it, I want to be feminine with my man, I want to have space and embrace it for nurturing my feminine energy and the female way of living and thinking and all of it.
Please share more of it, Valeria, it is so interesting and important to hear and reflect on. Спасибо за твой труд и открытость! 😍
Yes!! Masculine vs Feminine energy awareness is so important. So many girls now are so unhappy because they are suppressing feminine energy because acting tough and masculine all the time is cool. It's a very polarizing era imo. I have noticed shifts in myself and seen others fall out of relationships as the female becomes more successful, and you can't help but think the reason is because the masculine energy was brought back home.
I learned that you can balance the masculine energy by wearing things or doing things in your routine that make you feel more feminine. Ex: wearing a dress at work, wearing perfume, etc. I think that may help some!
Valeria, i admire you a lot and i love you content, i'm not a mother yet, definitely want to become one in the future, maybe in about 8 or 9 years, but i already can relate to so much you said, i already worry about my carrier and my decisions today to be a good mom in the future. This episode is so important!! Thank you so much, definitely will hear this a lot more times!!
So glad this episode resonated with you ❤ thanks for watching, lovely!
The future becomes the past really really really quick.
You cannot know it now, so just remember what I said when you’re at the IVF clinic and disappointed again.
This was so relatable!!! ❤
Glad it resonated with you ❤
As soon as I achieve a goal, I'm "happy" for a very short time, but I soon after chalk it up to just another check on the list, another milestone passed and looking onto the next task. Even when people congratulate me, I down play the accomplishments because I am already head down working on the next goal.
What a great episode, Valeria♥️
I am 15 months pp and completely burnt myself out after giving birth and messed up my thyroid and adrenals. I truly think today at least where I’m from and with my community, it wasn’t taught how to properly take care of yourself pp mind, body, and spirit. I immediately started working out and trying to bounce back because that’s what I saw on social media and I should’ve been resting and nurturing myself.
I learned so much from that time though and I hope I can support and help those around me who go through it and I now also know differently for next time 🤍
Thank you for sharing your journey with us, it is so helpful and important!🙏🏻🤍🌸
Love ❤ thanks a bunch for this episode content
Thank YOU for watching ❤
Is solo episodes are definitely the best ones you’ve ever done
You’re so sweet ❤ I’m glad you enjoy them!!
Dear Valeria, you are an inspiration! Mom of 3, plus a successful business woman 🎉
You’re the sweetest, thank you 🫶🏻
You are a clever woman Valeria! ❤ Very rich podcast. I'm very glad to see that more and more women are vocal about feminine energy and the power we have without having to live men's lives. It is very important that women have the right to do whatever job they want, but having to be the boss is not for everyone and not being one is not a weakness! Plus being ourselves in the household is stronger than we thought it was. You are blessed for having understood that early in your life and picked the right man.
Let's go for that right balance in life!
Valeria, I started following you since you were pregnant with Max..I must say you evolved so much and you should be proud.. your conversations are so much meaningful now. Be proud of yourself ❤
Thank you so much 🥹❤️❤️
I love listening to the not alone podcast but this episode was so special ❤
That truly means a lot ❤ thank you for watching!!
Loved that. Thank you,
Glad you enjoyed it!
I love this episode. You were so spot on when you talked about equality. ❤
Glad you enjoyed the topic! Thank you 🙏🏻
Currently less than 1 month PP. I was planning to get back to work soon. But you really making me rethink my choice now.
You know what’s best for you and there is no need to rush. Think about it and don’t put pressure on yourself ❤
The Empowered Wife is a ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ book about stepping into your femininity in marriage. Changed my relationship.
Hi, nice topic to discuss ❤
I am 3 months postpartum.
I am taking 6 months of maternity leave and I am enjoying every minute. Maybe because I was waiting for too long to be a mummy and my journey wasn’t not easy. After 3 miscarriages and 2 rounds of IVF my time is very precious with my baby girl.
To the topic of female energy 💯 agree.
My mum was also divorced mum with 3 kids and I kind of adapted the energy. Often my husband has to remind me and says “please let me take care of you”😊
Congratulations mama!! So glad you’re taking that time for yourself and your daughter 👏🏻❤ Sending love to your family!
I completely agree with your point on the value of feminine and masculine energy. My belief is that you can definitely have those leadership skills FROM a feminine perspective, not mimicking what men do (we already have enough of them 😂) but leaning into nurturing, listening, connecting and be a GREAT leader doing so, it really takes nothing away from assertiveness, envisioning or empowering, it’s just through a different lens..
Super interesting episode! I do want to add to the feminine/masculine energy conversation that we should also encourage men to explore this. I think men are constantly told to be this masculine provider and protector, which btw is fine if it truly is who you are. However, I believe that most men are also able to tap into their feminine side and this in turn would allow space for us women to feel our masculine side. I think everyone needs to find their own balance in this and hopefully find someone that complements them and allows them to be their authentic self. Personally in my relationship I am very much more feminine but I try to encourage my partner to explore this. We are currently discussing starting our family in the next years and he expressed the want to be as present in our children's life as I am. He said that it would hurt him if his own children don't see him as someone to come for comfort and care. So we are planning to both be very much involved in raising our children while at the same time getting to continue our carriers (at least to some extent).
I completely agree it definitely works both ways. Balance is key. I love the communication you and your partner have. Truly beautiful❤️🙏🏻
The things you are saying resonate with me so much!❤I love the fact that you are speaking not out of the current feminist “agenda” saying only things that are “safe” and expected from you. That said, I’m in no way anti-feminist or anything, but the way you combine being a strong woman and entrepreneur and talking openly about feminine energy, makes me admire and respect you so much! You are talking from your heart and experience, you are being real. To me you are a breath of fresh air and I learn a lot from you! Keep going💪
I glad this episode resonated with you. There’s so much to learn from personal experiences and I’m touched that sharing mine has helped ❤
If there was such a thing as an agenda, I would not call it feminist. We get to decide for ourselves, what our feminism looks like 😊 much love!❤️
It seems to me that what you call masculine energy is more so the energy and charactheristics you have to embody in order to "succed" in a highly competitive environment and in a capitalistic world. And the feminine energy sounds to me as an energy of simply being a human being, enjoying life, caring about people around you, being vulnerable etc.
It's important to nurture all of these qualities (or whichever you prefer) regardless of your gender identity. I see it as little bit restrictive to call one or the other feminine/masculine.
Protect this woman at all costs. She's out here giving gems on gems.
Sending you a hug ❤
Nice love it !
Thanks!!
You seem to be doing great. Your husband is supportive and masculine. You seem to be an intelligent caring mother and wife. You are blessed.
Okay, no pain no gain~
This is the only thing that I could say.
No matter in what kinda situiations.
It would so interesting to see you have a conversation with Erica Komisar, she has been a guest on other podcasts I listen to. She writes on this topic of motherhood and presence and how a certain kind of feminism has failed a generation of women and left them feeling unmoored and confused. I think you’d have a very interesting discussion.
Thankyouu val ❤❤
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Oh I love that you're talking about this, darling Valeria!! I think you'd love the works of Louise Perry and Mary Harrington. They talk about the same thing, that equality doesn't mean women should be men and live like men! Much love
Thanks for the recommendations! I’ll have to take a look ❤ sending love!
@@ValeriaLipovetsky After alllll these years and despite the crazy number of replies you get, you still make sure to reply! I don't know how you do this. You're one of a kind, darling Valeria
As a woman and a new mom I always say we need more equity and NOT equality because men and women are simply not the same.
too many brand bits my dear, broke the flow of listening to you but only a little bit :) It was lovely to listen to you share more of your story. It reminded me of the time you vloged a trip to the airport as a small army in two big cars :), where you both were working on finding a balance at home.
You are doing great 🎉
Thank you my girl 🙏🏻🥹
Loved this, especially the part about feminine and masculine energy
So glad to hear you enjoyed this episode ❤
תודה רבה את פשןט מהממת איזה כייף לשמוע אותך את מדויקת וכנה ומהממת ונשית כול כך
Aw thank you so much ❤
One of your 2017 followers here! 🙋🏻♀ You mentioned that you want to celebrate your achievements more - Please start by giving yourself credit for the courage & focus you generated to nurture your business while you created & nurtured little humans. No one can have it perfect, and you did YOU. I did not understand the need to create this 'emotional' connection with your audience that you achieved this position, where thousands are listening to you, was not worth it. You can do better now that you know better. This does not make the hard work that brought to your current status in life, toxic.
Can we have an updated house tour?🙏🏾
Love you ❤
Sending love ❤
Where can I watch the whole video, is there one?
I also think that ifyou are intellegent and able to do a lot, you don't must todo necessary everything that you could do. It is ok to have a main focus and follow your heart and G-d's will for our lives
Love you val❤❤❤
Sending love ❤❤❤
Love
Thank you 🙏🏻
❤️❤️
If social media is fake .... why perpetuate the concept
Escapism. Sometimes you unconsciously reach out for something different from what you see constantly around through the same old lens.
If you maintain awareness, though, you can use social media to your benefit to learn about yourself, others, and patterns in the world around you.
אלופה 🥹❤
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Silence? Girls all you ever do is talk about your life
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
What about your husband's femininity? Where is it?
I'm sorry but who needs guests - I know I need to listen to just Valeria. Just sayin'
You just made my day ❤🥹 sending love!
Hey Valeria , really nice video ! I was wondering if I could help you with Best Quality Editing in your videos better than your Editor with good pricing and also make a highly engaging Thumbnail which will help your videos to reach to a wider audience ? Pls let me know what do you think ?
She shuttered at the thought that 50 is not far away 😂
Who is she 😮anyone?
What is feminism? I think we need to redefine the term. A stay at home mom is work and is enough and is also feminism
I don't get it, why do you say you didn't have the 'masculine' energy in your household while saying your mother was always in her 'masculine' energy? What was missing? I'm sorry but this was such a dissapointing podcast to listen to, it's very reminiscent of the 'alpha' male / tradwife mentality, just packaged under a 'feminine energy' label to make it sound more appealing. It's stil misogynistic to the core. To anyone who likes Valeria's content (that includes myself btw), please don't fall for this. I think the only reason she's confused about it and doesn't know how to 'balance' it is because the so-called 'masculine' energy may be intimidating to others. She's responding to other's reactions, not to what feels comfortable to her. Burnout is natural to both men and women by the way, expecting your husband to maintain that so-called 'masculine' energy around you may be exhausting to him as well. Why do we have to put expectations on men's and women's shoulders like that? Just be who you are, we are all different, stop trying to bend yourself backwards to make others more comfortable. If you can't shed off that 'masculine' energy consider it may just be who you are and don't attribute it to outdated gender roles.
I love your comment ❤
I think there has to be balance. It’s hard to be in household where both partners are masculine( one or both will end up being exhausted). Not to be confused with giving up who you are, it’s just knowing what each partner is good at and supporting those roles in the household. Giving her husband a chance to be a man( in whichever roles he is comfortable with) and him giving her space to be a woman( in whichever role she feels comfortable in). This is not saying he must be masculine all the time and her being feminine all the time. There has to be a balance, if her husband is exhausted she can step in with her masculinity but she can’t lead the household all the time and expect her husband to lead at the same time. That’s the power struggle that she was talking about .
We live in a time where it’s anti feminist to recognize that masculine and feminine energies exist and need balance lol I am so happy to listen to this podcast.
@@christinarach340 Yes of course there has to be balance, help each other out, what I take issue is the way we frame 'masculinity' and 'femininity' in these conversations. The way she described her mother as being in her 'masculine' energy misconstrues what masculine means and perpetuates the idea that a woman who had to be completely independent and who was struggling to provide financially was playing a manly role, when she was just doing what it took to survive as a woman. We put this load on men, expecting them to be protectors and providers, when the reality is not everyone can fullfill that role and it is equally exhausting for a man to work hard and provide as it is for a woman. By labeling those outdated ideas of gender roles 'energy', we're just repeating that same narrative and it's harmful to us all as a society. 'Feminine' does NOT mean being taken care of, protected, provided for. Everyone needs that, everyone wants comfort and safety, both men and women, it's not a gender-based 'energy'. You're not burnt out because you're playing a 'manly' role and you lack 'feminine energy', you're just exhausted because you're doing exhausting things.
@@cristinamaria9110 that’s true but I don’t think there is a woman who gets married to carry the entire load which in this case feels like her mom did. Her mom was providing financially, taking care of the family , making all the important decisions around the home ( with masculine attributes like strength, boldness, leadership, assertiveness, aggressiveness ) that maybe needed to be met half way with her husband which he wasn’t doing. And by doing so, she became the man of the house and probably resented her husband for it. With Valeria her husband is capable doing all the things she expects of him, however it seems she wasn’t giving him a platform to play his part in their marriage , rather she wanted things to be done her way instead of letting him handle stuff his way as long as the end result is the same.
Hey Valeria , very good video . I can do better editing in your videos which can help you to get more engagement in your videos . Pls lmk what do you think ?
This sh*t could have easily been from 2002
Your video is extremely helpful but I don’t like the ads interruptions.. one at the very beginning and one at the end is already enough. I have been following you since the beginning and I miss the “old” Valeria.. you seem sharper and cold. Just in my personal opinion.
Valeria, thank you for your courage and vulnerability speaking on masculine and feminine energy. I thought I was the only one who battled against my masculine and feminine energy in my business and my marriage at home. You’re right, we need both and should embrace our true nature and should protect our partner’s masculine energy that we desperately need. I had a single mama as well who raised 4 girls. These are the conversations we need. Thank you, you’re amazing girl.🩷
You are an amazing woman ❤ I love your jewish necklace 😊 Hi from 🇮🇱
Thank you my dear ❤ sending love!
@@ValeriaLipovetsky💗mazels to mazels💗
To be honest...it's because of your husband that you can think of slowing down...most people don't have that privilege as money is needed to run the house...I want to slow down but cannot as without work I cannot afford to raise my kids in 2024...you can easily do that coz your husband is super rich and your salary anyway does not make a difference
Your idea of gender is so heteronormative. By your logic, masculine and feminine energies wouldn’t be balanced in a homosexual relationship. Thats messed up and a really terrible message
Teach the women Valeria! GO AHEAD TEACH EM! 😇🫡 Preaching the truth here
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Your voice in this video sounds like AI somehow
Thank you for being so vulnerable and honest about your challenges of balancing being a driven entrepreneur in the world of business and the soft feminine in your family dynamic. Women hold themselves to such high standards nowadays and feel like they have to be like man to be successful, meanwhile it’s our unique feminine qualities that make us feel most aligned and make us valuable to this society.🩷