In my experience, narcs aren't very smart, they leave evidence of their stupidity everywhere. The amount of mistakes they make towards the end is incredible, the more desperate they become, the more sloppy the attempt. Watch how reckless they become, in their pathetic attempts to 'regain control' They can't even control themselves, never mind anyone else! They reveal who they are to the point of others noticing. Some end up moving towns, and start over where nobody knows them, usually leaving a string of debts behind too.
Mine did that, but took me and our children with him, under the guise of us having an adventure and a better life-- 2k miles away from our hometown, my family, and any friends I still had. At the time, I was all in-- I like adventures. But this was also a couple years after I finally caught him with his "other", in our own home, after moths and months of his cheating and lying and gaslighting me. The day I left him, a couple years ago, I asked him pint blank: Why did you REALLY move us all out here back in '04? To which he replied, I wanted to get away from all the bad influences. I still don't buy it. Because he. Couldn't control his own impulses? Not because he wanted to change himself and save our relationship? No, I think he was still going behind my back even after we moved, based on his behaviors the last 18 years here. Maybe she even moved out here, I don't know. I do know he was already on dating sites 3 weeks after I left-- even before I'd filed for divorce. I found out because he was stupid enough to use our shared email to sign up. And never logged out of his account-- until I let on I knew and cut him off our email. I suspect he'd already been ducking around behind my back way before I ended it. He'll never change.
Yeah, I left my narc husband and blocked his number but he could still text me. I actually have proof of how much he lies and how crazy he is. He really started to unravel when I told him I was reading his texts to someone and we were laughing at how inconsistent he is with everything he says. He tried his best to cover it up by saying, it's hard to get a point across via text and he wanted me to call him. I refused to unblock and call him so he started acting even crazier. He finally gave up and stopped texting me because he realized he was just digging a deeper hole and was exposing his true self.
She’s right. It’s better that when you are finally willing to accept who they are and that it will never work, just leave and go no contact. They will always be what they are unless a miracle happens (I’m serious). Let them smear you, let them have their twisted, selective memory and move forward with your life. Heal your heart and heal the areas in your life you experienced great losses from and try to forgive them but know they won’t change. Block it all and literally don’t look back. There is literally no point to point things out to them or discuss anything with them simply bc they are committed to themselves alone and it’s very sad. No contact hopefully will wake them up, but God only knows.
"Emotional slave"...resonated. I know I allowed myself to be that without getting my emotional needs met in the relationship....just accepted it. Now I see how I was truly hurting myself. Learned a long time ago to stop saying how I feel to them ....because they are not capable of caring.
Yes I felt the same thing that "Emotional Slave" certainly resonates with me as well! It's amazing at just how much that they can dump on you all day and night,but if you happen to need even a tiny bit of emotional support you will be brushed off like they didn't hear anything!One-sided individuals!
Darvo. Don't call them out. They will just call you the terrible person and project. Their pervasive denial and need to punish you is exponential. They are not rational. Don't say a word.
TOTAL AND COMPLETE NO CONTACT. It drives them completely insane. When they think that someone who loved them so much now regards them as nothing of any significance,OMG it eats at them like a cancer....ENJOY YOUR LIFE.
True. However, they demand that their own boundaries be kept. It's always a double standard with them! Their motto is, "Rules for thee but not for me!"
To expend any more energy towards someone that does not care isn't worth it. You pose a risk to react in a way that you normally would not do, and then it could cause a detrimental effect later. I hope you don't, and just plan your escape as peaceful as possible to protect yourself from any further damage. Take care!
I accidentally called mine out. I was in a situationship. He acted like he was in a relationship with me; but “wasn’t sure of me”. One night I lost it, after a lot of poking and prodding and baiting from him… after that, he changed and started desperately trying to replace me. Plus ignoring me, punishing me. Ugh. He’s finally gone. It hurts and I know I’m trauma bonded. But this whole thing is dead now that I had already said I was feeling used by him Edit: I went back a few times, but my vibe was definitely different and the time in between went longer between each other - I stopped reaching out. And now, even though it hurts, I feel strong enough to not reach out now.
Totally my story, this narcissist used me for everything he wanted from settling and his day to day chore and always would say yes or no to commitment and when I pushed him for marriage and real commitment, this narcissist replaced me with someone else, and started to ignore me and punish me for asking him for commitment and asking answer on why he cheated on me, I tried hard and hard and one day after all getting drained and exhausted i stopped and blocked him from everywhere, feel more peace day by day
@@ritawalu8882 Narcissists are the worst, most despicable people on the planet, if you can even call them people. More reminiscent of demons if you ask me. I was discarded from an 8 year relationship. She turned everyone against me including her kids who I helped raise. I feel your pain.
@@ritawalu8882 thanks for sharing your story, it makes me feel more sane! Sounds horrible what you want through, and would cause emotional turmoil. Because I keep thinking “is he or isn’t he a narcissist?” and “is it just me? Am I not good enough? Am I the toxic one?” All of those things. Your story serves as a warning for me and others to get away and stay away. Good on you for having the strength to block him and I’m glad you’re feeling better by the day. Hope the rest of your healing goes well!
Oh girls, I am happy to read your stories, as a man I did that, called my ex partner out, I can not even tell what she did publicly but I can assure narcissistic women can be meaner and have a lot of more tools and support for doing the most craaaazy imaginable thing, sadly and laughable as it is a tragedy and a comedy, she was just right, how do I dare to speak about boundaries and my feelings, Jesus, 5 wasted years and I child I have not met. Very sad, specially for him, but Narcissistic care for no one, anybody and everyone is a tool.
They don’t care! Everything they do has strings attached! No contact stops the manipulation but they start smearing your name to friends and family! Now I need to disconnect from them, as they have chosen to listen to him! A huge clean out was painful but long term I have been protected from all the flying monkeys and now know who really cares!
I thought we were friends. On & off 6 years!!! But when I said I knew about Cluster B disorders, he texted how sorry he is that we can not be friends anymore and never replied again. Before he blocked me I called him a COWARD. I realize now that I was his supply and nothing more. I wonder if I caused him injury. 😈😈😈
I done that. I told him he had something wrong with his ways of thinking. I didn't know about narcissism at that point. His response was that I had a mental problem and needed to be put on medication. Another one he said was that I kept living in the past. I told him it was because he would never explain why he was doing the things to hurt our relationship. I wanted validation for his acts. It was turned into the blame game. After several attempts to leave him and going back because of the love bombs I finally went absolutely No Contact. Now I'm fully educated in the Narcissist.
I figured her out and I kept quiet because that was my biggest leverage to get out.. because I already knew her next move before she did it.. that way I was able to detach and look at the situation differently and completely leave..
After walking away from the narc and going 100% no contact, I've slowly started to become a different person, or should i say, I started becoming the real me. It takes time to heal. I still follow those who are here to help us. Some have AA support meetings, I have narc support. I am now to a point when I can go to work, a raging lunatic can pop up and verbally attack me and I can let it roll off. If I can't walk away, then I silently watch them, like they're in a movie. Before I would have held onto this anxiety, my confidence left me and I felt vulnerable and this would stay with me for days. I would have fallen into to their trap of fighting with their insanity, making myself look like I'm no better than them. I can see and hear their hate and how much they need to flex their power to damage someone just because, no reason, just because. I no longer absorb their toxic spewing. I can go right back into being the whole, happy me. I'm more resilient, and I know I will never let another narc in my space again, ever. Get out, it's so worth it. I don't know what hormone has started running through me again, but I know something dramatic has changed within me. I'm a different person than I was when I was with him. Thank you!
I’m starting to get their ,, oh my it does hurt , I’m 58 , to old to start over .. but until she gets her papers , and this part of my life is complete , head up , and keep walking , this to shall pass , what’s hard is , she was my best friend , she was a wife after that , and finding out , that your best friend used yu for their gain .. That is what has me hung up ..
It's never too late! The second you walk away you win I just left a 43 yr marriage at age 65, Fric$%# RUN! Your people will support you, trust yourself
Don't play to win. Play for endless stalemates. From their view, every stalemate is a loss because they didn't get what they wanted and their ego will make them put even more of their energy and resources into going after you again. At some point, they will start burning their own world down around themselves desperately hoping it will affect you in some way that matters even though you walked away from the main fight long ago. From your view, you are just using the easiest game that takes the least bit of energy and resources to sustain due to how almost laughably scripted and predictable a narcissist's gameplay is.
Wow spot on, I was doing this is my custosy case without knowing it, who knew doing whata best for my son is a stalemate to her. That’s next level evil by her
@@cliffordkelleher0142 Thanks! People need to know there are other ways to deal with narcissists other than just giving them what they want and running away claiming you won for it. Make them work for everything they think they want even if it ends up draining them of everything that actually matters in life in the end.
You’ve made mentioning of this approach before, of which I’m complimenting you again for your unique wisdom and insight. For a person who goes by the name ‘The Custodian’, you certainly have the knack for being a top notch psychologist. You have a much better interpretation as to how to deal with narcissistic personality types than most commentary posts and videos I’ve read and watched. I always knew that it was a chess game with them for a long time, but I pursued the ‘war of attrition’ (your words) with the intent in mind to win. I thought it was a dangerous injustice, otherwise, to just give up and lose-especially since it concerned other people I cared about. It would also be the same battle that I would end up losing. At least, it felt that way for me. Your stalemate approach on the other hand? It changes everything! It provides a fresh new perspective that I should have pursued long ago. Had I heard or read your insight ten years ago, it would have saved me a lot of grief along the way. I appreciate what you offer to help people out, myself included. Should you ever write a book, give me a heads up down the road so that I can buy, read and put it into wonderful practice. Thank you, once again my friend.
@@stefangebhard7074 When one spends a lifetime cleaning up others messes and fixing things that were thought unbreakable you start to find the strategy of least input for best output is really hard to beat. 😋 Yea, Like you, I think that give-in and run-away stuff is a pure self-justifying losers game. There is always a better way and most often it's so obvious and simple that nobody sees it even when it is right in front of them. When I started seeing what sort of mess my life was in due to my narcissists actions I started watching every video I could find on the subject and then started looking at the strategies they had. None seemed to actually solve anything in the victim's favor at all. I figured why not take it from a different angle of just make it about playing their childish ego against them until they burn themselves out from exhaustion, not ever to try to beat them at their game directly. In a sense, draw them into a lose-lose game and then just step off the field and let them wage a war on something that only exists in their head.
@@thecustodian1023 I totally agree with you 💯. I have fought many battles with narcissists over the years. In contrast to losing the war prior to, I would end up with various stalemates myself. The only difference, in contrast to your approach, was that I would end up with these stalemates under the narcissists terms. These stalemates was the result of just keeping silent in the most reluctant manner. Inversely, the narcissists would constantly have me raising the stakes, while they were expending the least amount of energy on their part. Furthermore, I found that I wasn’t just playing this chess game against the narcissists, but I was always having to play against their flying monkeys simultaneously, if you will-which was putting the narcissists at a huge advantage. And because they don’t play by the rules, my intent on winning against my opposition, caused them to alternate invariably-treating their pawns like a power piece, without ever reaching the end of the other side of the board, while bullying me into a position where my queen, metaphorically speaking, was forced to move like a pawn. I had also felt that if I played long enough, causing them to be on the losing end, that they would end up upsetting the board, putting my life at risk, including those I cared about in the process. Your glimmer of hope of enabling me to look at the strategy from the standpoint of playing for ‘endless stalemates’ away from the narcissists terms, or even with my futile goal of winning against the constant injustices, brings clarity in a way that I never experienced. Indeed, you’re right that many videos never offered a satisfying approach for the victims. Never a satisfying solution to the real problem. I had thought for so long that the universal grey rocking, was simply a strategy that would cause me to cut my losses-while preserving what little sanity I had left, while feeling that the narcissists constantly had the deck stacked in their favor, on account of the people they would recruit in this melee to do their bidding. It was this same tactic that nearly caused me to become a shell of my former self. You have an outstanding way with words, making your advice far more appealing and convincing than most. I admire your approach, seeking now to put your ‘endless stalemate’ tactics into good practice, minimizing my stakes in this endless situation against them, while turning their cherished ambitions to win at all costs, into a war against their own minds. Once again, thank you. Your tactical skills and advice is a real life saver. And, I’m certainly grateful. 😀
I’m so sorry. You didn’t deserve that. I hope if they do come back in your life you can one day talk about it like adults (on their end) but I know that’s probably wishful thinking. But you deserve to be cared for in the way you thought you were getting from this person
NO CONTACT. doesn't require any hard work. I called him out, mirrored his actions then cut his supply. He wasn't happy. He immediately threw me off his FB. Been No Contact for 4 months. I'm feeling much better these days.
Brilliant video. When I said to my ex narc I know who you are what is your game she was stunned. I have given her few things just so you know that now i will protect myself. Found her she cheating with her friend a married man. She was trying to sell to everybody that they are just friends because they work same filled. Now I am divorced we do have 3 kids but I do ignored her very much. Around my birthday she did text a lot obviously using about kids text but I know she was checking how I am dealing with it. I am very cold with her and is working for me. I know she does have her flinging monkeys around but I have cut them also I block all the social media. Difficult but could be done . Thanks Aggie your video.
Thank you so much. I tripped in all that you mentioned. 12/25/2022 will be one month of no contact. With this new knowledge, I will not call her out again, that is if we ever talk again. I feel empowered listening to you.
I agree about enjoying the fact that they don't know that we know. Let them wonder why we left and no longer want anything to do with them, and no longer care or love them.
A. Calling them out is a wonderful feeling because they can't believe how smart you are. B. A women's intuition is real and makes them realize this. C.Telling them that you know how they truly are scares them to death because let's face it, us women are going to tell our closest friends, family and adult children. They don't want to be loathed by these people who they know but know they will be. D. Why protect their feelings? You don't have to scream, holler and cry when you have proof of their infidelity, just say you know it as a matter of fact (because women are detectives when we know something is up and men are so dumb, we always figure it out by the clues they leave). E. Telling them you know and them knowing you're right, is the best way out of a narcissistic relationship. Don't budge on your beliefs no matter how "crazy" they say you are by thinking this way. Say your peace, you don't want a man that lies and cheats, never let them get another word in edgewise, hang up and feel a ton of weight lifted off of your shoulders!
Man or woman, it's the same. My wife was exactly the same. Narcissism doesn't care about gender, they are ruthless no matter what, self serving, zero empathy, projection, deflection, blame, devalue, discard.
If you are going to call them out, make sure they do not have access to any financial information or that you are not leveraged to them in anything of any sort of financial interest because once you tell them that their main goal is going to be to steal from you whatever they can so if you’re gonna call them out, make sure whatever you can afford to lose is all that is left on the table. I would suggest taking everything off and only calling them out as you’re walking out the door with your phone already in the blocked position so that after you say it, they have no way to get a hold of you, and no access to anything of value that yours any mistakes you make they will take it and you will never get it back if you introduced them to important people you can count on them using those people, so make sure you get all your ducks in order before you ever call these idiots out
She is so right here. It was a gamble to even try to reach out to him to let him know he got me all wrong and I did not 'desert him' by my message deletion. He just never gave me a means to communicate. Controlling!! He doesn't want the truth, to face all the confusion he had caused me, so I took a step in my lack of ability to communicate w/him. This caused him to think I discarded him, so he then blew up the whole bridge and discarded me. Never knew he even cared to begin with. Forget it. He wants revenge and wants to be the injured one. As she says, anything will be used against you. Feeling bad for him I reached out, he just deleted (again), thus as a tactic to show I don't matter. He is not interested in the truth, or can't introspect. In reality he should step up and say he's sorry to me to over-reacting and reach mutual understanding. Seeing the truth and reality is what these people are so afraid of. Sad, but as she says they have other supply at the ready. Esp. if someone is in entertainment, where there are endless 'fans' who only see the 'performance' and don't know there is no 'person' behind the performer. I managed to see behind the mask, and this is what he can't stand.
I never was in a relationship with this person. He has a crush on me. Never was INTERESTED! I have not seen my ex co worker in a year in some change. Thanks! I will post this everywhere.
It’s taken 3 years several discards 5 other women but I’ve done it and I feel relief I felt guilty it’s near Christmas but if the shoe was on the other foot there would be no guilt
My narc was rubbishing my in social media, she didn’t expect me to see it. I told people the truth about the matter and I’m surprised at the support I’ve received. I’m expecting retaliation. After you call them out, keep going, don’t ever go back, don’t even entertain the idea.
I called out my narcissist and it was the BEST thing I ever did. Yes, I was cruelly discarded after, but I have never, ever regretted calling her out. I never will. One of the best moments of my life.
Already called her out before seeing this video. Lord did her games begin. The few close CLOSE friends I had have stopped talking to me because of all the lies she told them. It is kinda "hey bud we have known you for years but we just don't want to be involved " even after I showed my boss video evidence of her actions I was still let go.
Well when I said to me ex narc Mrs that her ‘love’ for me was conditional, that she was only there for me when the times were ‘good’, well, the relationship ended just a few weeks later. No matter how I explained it to her, she denied denied denied, but when I spoke to everyone about the situation and what she had said to me, everyone else could see it. Anyway, I dodged a bullet and luckily I’m happier than ever. 🎉
I did this so many times, kept on returning until one day I moved in with him and first few months was heaven then it was hell for the rests of the 2 years. So many things happened in that fun house that scratched my brain , affected my performance at work, exhausted all the time with no sleep because he would just mentally torture me for hours. So many things happened but all I could you is that nothing is real with them. Just a lie. Once I have accepted that it was a fake relationship and also no Longer want to live like that, I just cut him off with no care but I got to the point where I only felt disgust towards him and I promise myself that I will never let anyone control me like that and will always love ME first. And yeah keep running.
Why are there so many narcissists out there? Dating is a jungle and I often have to do a fact check between what a guy says and what a guy actually does. I still want to meet a Quality Man though.
I have a marriage counselling session this Monday with the narc, luckily it's online and we won't be in the same room, and yes I am going to call her out there, as I haven't done it yet, but the counselling session gives me a platform to call her bs out where she can't hide and spew her lies. Then I will just sit back and enjoy the show afterwards haha boom.
Agree with everything they say but you know that they are doing and talking a load of crap. Watch them and see it all. Very interesting observation on this type of person, especially the covert narc who likes to hide in the shadows for such a long time, but once you see it, you can not unsee it. Just pick your battles and thread very carefully...❤️
I just said I was researching different types of personalities; she just said she's 'normal'. I was immediately discarded again, this was during the hoover.
As usual a great video.. However, i have to say, after watching many of your videos i called out my ex on-off partner of 33 years a few weeks ago.. I ended the relationship 7 months ago after an 8 year relationship this time.. I have been suffering the results of narcissistic withdrawal due to the trauma bond between us, and have been in therapy, taking beta blockers to control the anxiety and sleeping tablets since.. It has been pure HELL It was all done by text messages, as we hadn't been in contact for 4 months or so .. But i have to say, the resulting conversation answered all the questions i had, and whilst started well with her clearly thinking she was getting me back, ended up going the other way through my own reverse psychology, to the point she said goodbye and I've heard nothing since Yes, i'm sure it wont last, and i'm sure there will be repercussions, but to be honest i'm the empathic type, that doesn't care what others think about ME, so let her crack on Suffice to say however, by simply letting it all out and telling her what i thought (through a recorded voice message i sent), the weight that i physically felt lift off my shoulders was unreal .. I can honestly say, it was like letting go of the toxicity that existed in the relationship I'm now not longer booked in for any therapy sessions, i've stopped taking all medications and am in a much happier place.. I still find myself wondering what she's up to from time to time, but the pain is gone .. So from my perspective (at the moment at least), it worked to vent it all out Long may it last
It really bothers me that I didn't go no contact. I stopped face to face contact because I figured out they were manipulating me. He begged for a face to face conversation, but I knew that was just so he could work another sob story. Though I ended up sending him alot of messages, I was lashing out. Though it bothers me that I didn't just withdraw. He got 'fuel' from me for quite sometime. It makes me feel really disappointed in myself
Yes so irritated mean when I called the narcissist out, it was hell I was met with rage 😡 the narcissist face was twisted in multiple directions shaking screaming yelling calling name it was horrible I just go in my vehicle and drive off.
Now I figured out what they have done and I have lost all respect for my ex and I pray his normal family members can see the truth. If you take them to counseling or meetings they will ruin your reputation there as well. They get all your family members numbers etc to try and keep in touch with anyone whom may know you!!!!
That is right. Especially in my case with his connections in Police etc did not even make a difference! My town is very small. I was monitored for 1 year! He did get away with it cuz how can I do anything with those connections?? But it's ok, he was terminally ill. He was in pain. He didn't want his image destroyed since he owned a business! He called my husband, he told his cousins, our friends that I was terrible etc.til the end. For what? No use in it but what can we do........In my case his son that is still alive will monitor me if he so desires and he does. As if his Dad eft him a note to continue that. Just crazy! I can't do anything about it but just ignore and be silent. Live my life.
What gets to me is how stubborn and ignorant they can be, whenever I talk to one, it's like I can't teach them anything, they just don't seem to be able to learn.
I didnt state directly that I think she's a narcissist. Instead, I broke down and explained a lot of her behavior. I basically wrote an essay about her in the same way I did Dahmer in a college essay. I also wrote it void of any emotion or personal attacks. I'd already blocked her phone, and I'd already blocked her on social media before I started writing it. I basically gave copies of the essay to her sister, and a friend of an ex niece inlaw, who Ive known for about 28 years. I did all that after she texted me last year when she took a jab at me about being on strike, and she did it over a month into the strike. What I felt that day felt clinical, I was so angry, for one, at that point we'd been divorced for over three and a half years. I wanted to reply in a civil manner, and not give her maybe what she was trying to get. Which I did, but I think I found my pride that day.
No, I understand not to call them out just because we know not to because of such you tube videos but instead of calling them straight out as the Narcissist I'd have called out a specific action something like it took you 30 mins to nip out and get some milk? And then they quickly understand that I'm not buying anything they're saying they suddenly wish to add
It wasn’t so much the fact I told him I knew his game, which he actually laughed at, but it was a very nervous laugh, he continued anyway. He was on high nasty when my replacement wanted ‘time out’ for 2 weeks to think about what she wanted, because he said something to trigger her on one of his weekends at her house, I got full force as he realised I knew something was up when he was still at the house we bought together. I hadn’t heard her voice (he puts all calls on speakerphone so I could hear) and when he didn’t go away, it was pretty obvious something was wrong, I asked him if she had dumped him and he was all coy saying she had other commitments, he knew I knew. However, in that 2 weeks out she wanted, he was on the phone to 4 other women off the dating website and none of them took off, he blew it on every one of them. I heard him being very sharp on the phone to my replacement before I left and she hung up. I moved out 12 days ago, no idea what he’s doing but I bet he’s worried sick I left my solicitor details. On recommendation from the Police, I have to take him to court for not only domestic abuse but also coercion which is a criminal offence in the U.K. I have over 140 recordings of his rages, rants and threats since 30th June 2022, the police also have them….he has no idea….yet. !!!
CaLi + the "Surprise" BONUS: of *Hawai'i, also, *WINNING* their Cases; ⚖️ 🇺🇲🎄🎶🥂almost 2+ Years, Ago! To Yank "Coercive Control" ( = to: same as, the *Dbl-Bind/s* IN; their* "CULTS,") as well*! The NY State Case on the que; Disappeared from RADAR, over a year, ago. I'm sorry to report. But, yes. Right OFF their Books on?/ of? their State's Laws* → For: "Domestic Violence AND (/ or,) Sexual Assault"!! + Dom. Terrorism, + Torture + Fed. felony, Hate Crimes (12++?) Haven't re-vist'd on 1st's. (3rd. &) Final Review + ALL their Accumulated; per 2 VeRy $tupid, "Rt-W.Authoritarian," Nazi Narcopathic Criminals: Deaths + Embezzlement, + Assaults, ... and Vile, viciously vindictive Gossip/ '11 y.o., Old BuZy-bodies' SLaNdEr*/ Defam. Campaigns!! . . . Mentor: Diaper Don APPRENTICE + protegé! 2.5 y.o. → Car Thief. + Prohibitive COSTS/ Damages+ for All Aspects of my H.C; due to a Genetic disorder!! Per, All sibs, & parent's+ their 1 sib. + An Additional, Mutation in 1 - with, an eXtra + 'Y' male Chromosome, for 3* - on Top of, Highly Activated, 'heritable' and HORRENDOUSLY Severe, WWII TRAUMA/S! ... In, "Marfan's"! + *On Top of;* "Ehler Danlos Syndrome"!
Oops! I Forgot to Add; my Guestimate/ imo, of "Coercive Control" being; 20-35 % WORSE than, (70-75++%?) of ALL Rapes! The $ycKer the Narc/s, the More convoluted their Thinking. I Can't imagine the Confusion of their Love-Hate perceptions+ Belief's + Codependencie's w/ a More Complex* 'Love interest' vs. 'just a sibling,' per my*POS. Regardless, the Trauma Bond! Pushing 5 Years, and still Very Terrifying, my Fried N. Systems are unpredictable. 65 Yrs. "Family" Vs. They want* *you* Dead??? 😱 ADD; TL. 2 / + 5 Month's, gen., Dissociative AMNESIA + TL. 💥 🤯 💥 'Speech & Lang.' Center in, the Brain 💥 Disabled (& sounding Psychotic AF) as an, SLPath disabled child requiring Speech Therapy K., in to 1st. Grade. Reading to Top Level. Then, Writing/↑ 'Dysgraphia" by, 200% 😱💥 with 1st. FOIA back!
I don’t think mine is getting it . I’m literally not talking to him and last week he sent me a pic of me? Couple days ago it was a song that we used to listen to. I’m not saying anything back like he’s just texting a ghost . He doesn’t exist to me and I just hope he realizes I figured him out already
In my experience, narcs aren't very smart, they leave evidence of their stupidity everywhere. The amount of mistakes they make towards the end is incredible, the more desperate they become, the more sloppy the attempt. Watch how reckless they become, in their pathetic attempts to 'regain control' They can't even control themselves, never mind anyone else! They reveal who they are to the point of others noticing. Some end up moving towns, and start over where nobody knows them, usually leaving a string of debts behind too.
Mine did that, but took me and our children with him, under the guise of us having an adventure and a better life-- 2k miles away from our hometown, my family, and any friends I still had. At the time, I was all in-- I like adventures. But this was also a couple years after I finally caught him with his "other", in our own home, after moths and months of his cheating and lying and gaslighting me.
The day I left him, a couple years ago, I asked him pint blank: Why did you REALLY move us all out here back in '04?
To which he replied, I wanted to get away from all the bad influences.
I still don't buy it. Because he. Couldn't control his own impulses? Not because he wanted to change himself and save our relationship?
No, I think he was still going behind my back even after we moved, based on his behaviors the last 18 years here. Maybe she even moved out here, I don't know.
I do know he was already on dating sites 3 weeks after I left-- even before I'd filed for divorce. I found out because he was stupid enough to use our shared email to sign up. And never logged out of his account-- until I let on I knew and cut him off our email.
I suspect he'd already been ducking around behind my back way before I ended it.
He'll never change.
He melted down last Christmas and blew us up over catfished photos
This is SO true!
This is true… they snap and show what they truly are and everyone that never understood how we feel about that person were shock in their behavior..
Yeah, I left my narc husband and blocked his number but he could still text me. I actually have proof of how much he lies and how crazy he is. He really started to unravel when I told him I was reading his texts to someone and we were laughing at how inconsistent he is with everything he says. He tried his best to cover it up by saying, it's hard to get a point across via text and he wanted me to call him. I refused to unblock and call him so he started acting even crazier. He finally gave up and stopped texting me because he realized he was just digging a deeper hole and was exposing his true self.
She’s right. It’s better that when you are finally willing to accept who they are and that it will never work, just leave and go no contact.
They will always be what they are unless a miracle happens (I’m serious). Let them smear you, let them have their twisted, selective memory and move forward with your life. Heal your heart and heal the areas in your life you experienced great losses from and try to forgive them but know they won’t change. Block it all and literally don’t look back. There is literally no point to point things out to them or discuss anything with them simply bc they are committed to themselves alone and it’s very sad.
No contact hopefully will wake them up, but God only knows.
We should get to a point where we don’t care if they wake up or not and live our lives happily 😍😃👍🏻
Needed this one.... You're absolutely right...
"Emotional slave"...resonated. I know I allowed myself to be that without getting my emotional needs met in the relationship....just accepted it. Now I see how I was truly hurting myself. Learned a long time ago to stop saying how I feel to them ....because they are not capable of caring.
Yes I felt the same thing that "Emotional Slave" certainly resonates with me as well! It's amazing at just how much that they can dump on you all day and night,but if you happen to need even a tiny bit of emotional support you will be brushed off like they didn't hear anything!One-sided individuals!
100% true
The rage and tantrums happen. Then the blame shifting followed by discard.
Darvo. Don't call them out. They will just call you the terrible person and project. Their pervasive denial and need to punish you is exponential. They are not rational. Don't say a word.
Yes, Run and run and still run !
It's crazy how she couldn't handle me knowing it was crazy.. in the face of strong evidence still said no your crazy. Hahaha
TOTAL AND COMPLETE NO CONTACT. It drives them completely insane. When they think that someone who loved them so much now regards them as nothing of any significance,OMG it eats at them like a cancer....ENJOY YOUR LIFE.
I can’t, we have children
@@andyanderson6522 it doesn’t matter. your lives is more important.
They don't respect anyone's boundaries.
True. However, they demand that their own boundaries be kept. It's always a double standard with them! Their motto is, "Rules for thee but not for me!"
I walked and ghosted,I'm sure they knew i'd figured them out,i've been in monk mode since 2019 my peace is more important to me nowadays.
@@peacejoy3629 No she passed away,but im sure ive heard her laughing in my home after i got locked in my back porch by something unseen.
All you have to do is listen a Narcissist ALWAYS tells on themself 💯
To expend any more energy towards someone that does not care isn't worth it. You pose a risk to react in a way that you normally would not do, and then it could cause a detrimental effect later. I hope you don't, and just plan your escape as peaceful as possible to protect yourself from any further damage. Take care!
You are correct
I accidentally called mine out. I was in a situationship. He acted like he was in a relationship with me; but “wasn’t sure of me”. One night I lost it, after a lot of poking and prodding and baiting from him… after that, he changed and started desperately trying to replace me. Plus ignoring me, punishing me. Ugh. He’s finally gone. It hurts and I know I’m trauma bonded. But this whole thing is dead now that I had already said I was feeling used by him
Edit: I went back a few times, but my vibe was definitely different and the time in between went longer between each other - I stopped reaching out. And now, even though it hurts, I feel strong enough to not reach out now.
Totally my story, this narcissist used me for everything he wanted from settling and his day to day chore and always would say yes or no to commitment and when I pushed him for marriage and real commitment, this narcissist replaced me with someone else, and started to ignore me and punish me for asking him for commitment and asking answer on why he cheated on me, I tried hard and hard and one day after all getting drained and exhausted i stopped and blocked him from everywhere, feel more peace day by day
@@ritawalu8882 Narcissists are the worst, most despicable people on the planet, if you can even call them people. More reminiscent of demons if you ask me. I was discarded from an 8 year relationship. She turned everyone against me including her kids who I helped raise. I feel your pain.
@@ritawalu8882 thanks for sharing your story, it makes me feel more sane! Sounds horrible what you want through, and would cause emotional turmoil. Because I keep thinking “is he or isn’t he a narcissist?” and “is it just me? Am I not good enough? Am I the toxic one?” All of those things. Your story serves as a warning for me and others to get away and stay away.
Good on you for having the strength to block him and I’m glad you’re feeling better by the day. Hope the rest of your healing goes well!
Oh girls, I am happy to read your stories, as a man I did that, called my ex partner out, I can not even tell what she did publicly but I can assure narcissistic women can be meaner and have a lot of more tools and support for doing the most craaaazy imaginable thing, sadly and laughable as it is a tragedy and a comedy, she was just right, how do I dare to speak about boundaries and my feelings, Jesus, 5 wasted years and I child I have not met. Very sad, specially for him, but Narcissistic care for no one, anybody and everyone is a tool.
They don’t care! Everything they do has strings attached! No contact stops the manipulation but they start smearing your name to friends and family! Now I need to disconnect from them, as they have chosen to listen to him! A huge clean out was painful but long term I have been protected from all the flying monkeys and now know who really cares!
You and couple others girls saved my life two years ago. Thank you !
I thought we were friends. On & off 6 years!!! But when I said I knew about Cluster B disorders, he texted how sorry he is that we can not be friends anymore and never replied again. Before he blocked me I called him a COWARD. I realize now that I was his supply and nothing more. I wonder if I caused him injury. 😈😈😈
I done that. I told him he had something wrong with his ways of thinking. I didn't know about narcissism at that point. His response was that I had a mental problem and needed to be put on medication. Another one he said was that I kept living in the past. I told him it was because he would never explain why he was doing the things to hurt our relationship. I wanted validation for his acts. It was turned into the blame game. After several attempts to leave him and going back because of the love bombs I finally went absolutely No Contact. Now I'm fully educated in the Narcissist.
I figured her out and I kept quiet because that was my biggest leverage to get out.. because I already knew her next move before she did it.. that way I was able to detach and look at the situation differently and completely leave..
They care that they are losing their supply. They also care that they're being called out.... It's another degree of shame for them.
After walking away from the narc and going 100% no contact, I've slowly started to become a different person, or should i say, I started becoming the real me. It takes time to heal. I still follow those who are here to help us. Some have AA support meetings, I have narc support. I am now to a point when I can go to work, a raging lunatic can pop up and verbally attack me and I can let it roll off. If I can't walk away, then I silently watch them, like they're in a movie. Before I would have held onto this anxiety, my confidence left me and I felt vulnerable and this would stay with me for days. I would have fallen into to their trap of fighting with their insanity, making myself look like I'm no better than them. I can see and hear their hate and how much they need to flex their power to damage someone just because, no reason, just because. I no longer absorb their toxic spewing. I can go right back into being the whole, happy me. I'm more resilient, and I know I will never let another narc in my space again, ever. Get out, it's so worth it. I don't know what hormone has started running through me again, but I know something dramatic has changed within me. I'm a different person than I was when I was with him. Thank you!
I’m starting to get their ,, oh my it does hurt , I’m 58 , to old to start over .. but until she gets her papers , and this part of my life is complete , head up , and keep walking , this to shall pass , what’s hard is , she was my best friend , she was a wife after that , and finding out , that your best friend used yu for their gain .. That is what has me hung up ..
My leaving with no explanation was all that was needed. It spoke volumes.
It's never too late! The second you walk away you win
I just left a 43 yr marriage at age 65, Fric$%# RUN! Your people will support you, trust yourself
Don't play to win. Play for endless stalemates.
From their view, every stalemate is a loss because they didn't get what they wanted and their ego will make them put even more of their energy and resources into going after you again.
At some point, they will start burning their own world down around themselves desperately hoping it will affect you in some way that matters even though you walked away from the main fight long ago.
From your view, you are just using the easiest game that takes the least bit of energy and resources to sustain due to how almost laughably scripted and predictable a narcissist's gameplay is.
Wow spot on, I was doing this is my custosy case without knowing it, who knew doing whata best for my son is a stalemate to her. That’s next level evil by her
@@cliffordkelleher0142 Thanks! People need to know there are other ways to deal with narcissists other than just giving them what they want and running away claiming you won for it.
Make them work for everything they think they want even if it ends up draining them of everything that actually matters in life in the end.
You’ve made mentioning of this approach before, of which I’m complimenting you again for your unique wisdom and insight. For a person who goes by the name ‘The Custodian’, you certainly have the knack for being a top notch psychologist. You have a much better interpretation as to how to deal with narcissistic personality types than most commentary posts and videos I’ve read and watched. I always knew that it was a chess game with them for a long time, but I pursued the ‘war of attrition’ (your words) with the intent in mind to win. I thought it was a dangerous injustice, otherwise, to just give up and lose-especially since it concerned other people I cared about. It would also be the same battle that I would end up losing. At least, it felt that way for me. Your stalemate approach on the other hand? It changes everything! It provides a fresh new perspective that I should have pursued long ago. Had I heard or read your insight ten years ago, it would have saved me a lot of grief along the way. I appreciate what you offer to help people out, myself included. Should you ever write a book, give me a heads up down the road so that I can buy, read and put it into wonderful practice. Thank you, once again my friend.
@@stefangebhard7074 When one spends a lifetime cleaning up others messes and fixing things that were thought unbreakable you start to find the strategy of least input for best output is really hard to beat. 😋
Yea, Like you, I think that give-in and run-away stuff is a pure self-justifying losers game. There is always a better way and most often it's so obvious and simple that nobody sees it even when it is right in front of them.
When I started seeing what sort of mess my life was in due to my narcissists actions I started watching every video I could find on the subject and then started looking at the strategies they had. None seemed to actually solve anything in the victim's favor at all.
I figured why not take it from a different angle of just make it about playing their childish ego against them until they burn themselves out from exhaustion, not ever to try to beat them at their game directly.
In a sense, draw them into a lose-lose game and then just step off the field and let them wage a war on something that only exists in their head.
@@thecustodian1023 I totally agree with you 💯.
I have fought many battles with narcissists over the years. In contrast to losing the war prior to, I would end up with various stalemates myself. The only difference, in contrast to your approach, was that I would end up with these stalemates under the narcissists terms. These stalemates was the result of just keeping silent in the most reluctant manner. Inversely, the narcissists would constantly have me raising the stakes, while they were expending the least amount of energy on their part. Furthermore, I found that I wasn’t just playing this chess game against the narcissists, but I was always having to play against their flying monkeys simultaneously, if you will-which was putting the narcissists at a huge advantage. And because they don’t play by the rules, my intent on winning against my opposition, caused them to alternate invariably-treating their pawns like a power piece, without ever reaching the end of the other side of the board, while bullying me into a position where my queen, metaphorically speaking, was forced to move like a pawn. I had also felt that if I played long enough, causing them to be on the losing end, that they would end up upsetting the board, putting my life at risk, including those I cared about in the process.
Your glimmer of hope of enabling me to look at the strategy from the standpoint of playing for ‘endless stalemates’ away from the narcissists terms, or even with my futile goal of winning against the constant injustices, brings clarity in a way that I never experienced.
Indeed, you’re right that many videos never offered a satisfying approach for the victims. Never a satisfying solution to the real problem. I had thought for so long that the universal grey rocking, was simply a strategy that would cause me to cut my losses-while preserving what little sanity I had left, while feeling that the narcissists constantly had the deck stacked in their favor, on account of the people they would recruit in this melee to do their bidding. It was this same tactic that nearly caused me to become a shell of my former self.
You have an outstanding way with words, making your advice far more appealing and convincing than most. I admire your approach, seeking now to put your ‘endless stalemate’ tactics into good practice, minimizing my stakes in this endless situation against them, while turning their cherished ambitions to win at all costs, into a war against their own minds. Once again, thank you. Your tactical skills and advice is a real life saver. And, I’m certainly grateful. 😀
👏🏾👏🏾well said 👍🏾👍🏾 if you never let them know, you always have a 1up Just ignore them in fade away
Clear and concise video about the important decision to go no contact. Thank you!
Once I figured out his affair, the discard became even more cruel and manipulative!
I’m so sorry. You didn’t deserve that. I hope if they do come back in your life you can one day talk about it like adults (on their end) but I know that’s probably wishful thinking. But you deserve to be cared for in the way you thought you were getting from this person
Run! Don’t look back
Same 💔
I ghosted my ex narc when I did not know what was a narcissist. Your video message is so accurate.
❤Anouska for spreading knowledge!!
🔥🔥🔥Don't call them out!! My ex- sent men to assault me...For your safety~GET AWAY QUIETLY!!💞💞💞
They want to take you out of here. Thank you 💜
Exhausting as they have no communication skills no soul like no empathy nothing an empty black hole
NO CONTACT. doesn't require any hard work. I called him out, mirrored his actions then cut his supply. He wasn't happy. He immediately threw me off his FB. Been No Contact for 4 months. I'm feeling much better these days.
Revenge is financial abuse.
Damn, I saw this video a month and a week too late 😂 I totally called him out, he blocked me (I’m laughing now but I suffered)
Brilliant video. When I said to my ex narc I know who you are what is your game she was stunned. I have given her few things just so you know that now i will protect myself. Found her she cheating with her friend a married man. She was trying to sell to everybody that they are just friends because they work same filled.
Now I am divorced we do have 3 kids but I do ignored her very much. Around my birthday she did text a lot obviously using about kids text but I know she was checking how I am dealing with it. I am very cold with her and is working for me. I know she does have her flinging monkeys around but I have cut them also I block all the social media. Difficult but could be done .
Thanks Aggie your video.
Thank you so much. I tripped in all that you mentioned. 12/25/2022 will be one month of no contact. With this new knowledge, I will not call her out again, that is if we ever talk again. I feel empowered listening to you.
No contact. Blocked everywhere. 9 mos and counting. Never disclosed, I know what he is. I enjoy that he thinks I don't know.
I agree about enjoying the fact that they don't know that we know. Let them wonder why we left and no longer want anything to do with them, and no longer care or love them.
A. Calling them out is a wonderful feeling because they can't believe how smart you are. B. A women's intuition is real and makes them realize this. C.Telling them that you know how they truly are scares them to death because let's face it, us women are going to tell our closest friends, family and adult children. They don't want to be loathed by these people who they know but know they will be. D. Why protect their feelings? You don't have to scream, holler and cry when you have proof of their infidelity, just say you know it as a matter of fact (because women are detectives when we know something is up and men are so dumb, we always figure it out by the clues they leave). E. Telling them you know and them knowing you're right, is the best way out of a narcissistic relationship. Don't budge on your beliefs no matter how "crazy" they say you are by thinking this way. Say your peace, you don't want a man that lies and cheats, never let them get another word in edgewise, hang up and feel a ton of weight lifted off of your shoulders!
Man or woman, it's the same. My wife was exactly the same. Narcissism doesn't care about gender, they are ruthless no matter what, self serving, zero empathy, projection, deflection, blame, devalue, discard.
Eyes open and mouth shut.Don't call them out they don't care.
Thank you so much for saving me years of anguish and possibly therapy.This channel helped me regain my life back.
This spoke to me haven’t watched it yet (watching now) I outsmarted the narc ❤😊
If you are going to call them out, make sure they do not have access to any financial information or that you are not leveraged to them in anything of any sort of financial interest because once you tell them that their main goal is going to be to steal from you whatever they can so if you’re gonna call them out, make sure whatever you can afford to lose is all that is left on the table. I would suggest taking everything off and only calling them out as you’re walking out the door with your phone already in the blocked position so that after you say it, they have no way to get a hold of you, and no access to anything of value that yours any mistakes you make they will take it and you will never get it back if you introduced them to important people you can count on them using those people, so make sure you get all your ducks in order before you ever call these idiots out
Good comment
She is so right here. It was a gamble to even try to reach out to him to let him know he got me all wrong and I did not 'desert him' by my message deletion. He just never gave me a means to communicate. Controlling!! He doesn't want the truth, to face all the confusion he had caused me, so I took a step in my lack of ability to communicate w/him. This caused him to think I discarded him, so he then blew up the whole bridge and discarded me. Never knew he even cared to begin with. Forget it. He wants revenge and wants to be the injured one. As she says, anything will be used against you. Feeling bad for him I reached out, he just deleted (again), thus as a tactic to show I don't matter. He is not interested in the truth, or can't introspect. In reality he should step up and say he's sorry to me to over-reacting and reach mutual understanding. Seeing the truth and reality is what these people are so afraid of. Sad, but as she says they have other supply at the ready. Esp. if someone is in entertainment, where there are endless 'fans' who only see the 'performance' and don't know there is no 'person' behind the performer. I managed to see behind the mask, and this is what he can't stand.
I never was in a relationship with this person. He has a crush on me. Never was INTERESTED! I have not seen my ex co worker in a year in some change. Thanks! I will post this everywhere.
You already outsmarted them by doing these videos ! You can tell them - which I did - but showing them is priceless. Because they see it !
It’s taken 3 years several discards 5 other women but I’ve done it and I feel relief I felt guilty it’s near Christmas but if the shoe was on the other foot there would be no guilt
amazingly well explained with great insight and wisdom. Still not too judgemental just very clear realistic approach to it. Love it.
Brilliant thanks 👍
Thank you 🙏
Thank you! Great message!
My narc was rubbishing my in social media, she didn’t expect me to see it.
I told people the truth about the matter and I’m surprised at the support I’ve received.
I’m expecting retaliation.
After you call them out, keep going, don’t ever go back, don’t even entertain the idea.
You are absolutely right 👍
Once a narc always a narc stay away from them if you can enough is enough
She is fantastic. You will be greatly helped. Can not stop watching and getting healed!
I called out my narcissist and it was the BEST thing I ever did. Yes, I was cruelly discarded after, but I have never, ever regretted calling her out. I never will. One of the best moments of my life.
Always so helpful, mahalo. Run run run
Many Thanks..
Already called her out before seeing this video. Lord did her games begin. The few close CLOSE friends I had have stopped talking to me because of all the lies she told them. It is kinda "hey bud we have known you for years but we just don't want to be involved " even after I showed my boss video evidence of her actions I was still let go.
Great video! Love your jewelry, Anoushka!
You are absolutely right
Thank you! ❤
Well when I said to me ex narc Mrs that her ‘love’ for me was conditional, that she was only there for me when the times were ‘good’, well, the relationship ended just a few weeks later. No matter how I explained it to her, she denied denied denied, but when I spoke to everyone about the situation and what she had said to me, everyone else could see it. Anyway, I dodged a bullet and luckily I’m happier than ever. 🎉
I did this so many times, kept on returning until one day I moved in with him and first few months was heaven then it was hell for the rests of the 2 years. So many things happened in that fun house that scratched my brain , affected my performance at work, exhausted all the time with no sleep because he would just mentally torture me for hours. So many things happened but all I could you is that nothing is real with them. Just a lie. Once I have accepted that it was a fake relationship and also no
Longer want to live like that, I just cut him off with no care but I got to the point where I only felt disgust towards him and I promise myself that I will never let anyone control me like that and will always love ME first. And yeah keep running.
they take your life source!
They can't change, not that they won't change its impossible to change
Great video love, thank you.
Superb 😊
Thank you so much Ask for your taught, it does help me to figure out what I faced and confusuon 🙏🙏🙏❤🌹
Since many were ignored as children, that is unfortunately the only language that they understand! No contact. Leave
NO MORE
Why are there so many narcissists out there? Dating is a jungle and I often have to do a fact check between what a guy says and what a guy actually does. I still want to meet a Quality Man though.
Can't go no contact with a child involved.
I have a marriage counselling session this Monday with the narc, luckily it's online and we won't be in the same room, and yes I am going to call her out there, as I haven't done it yet, but the counselling session gives me a platform to call her bs out where she can't hide and spew her lies. Then I will just sit back and enjoy the show afterwards haha boom.
They will squander their entire lives
Please explain how this can apply to a spouse, who you can’t just go no contact and can’t just leave?
I've been silent since last year. Its hard. But also, I don't miss the chaos
Got beaten up because i told it how it is....they're children, in adult bodies, with tantrums.
Agree with everything they say but you know that they are doing and talking a load of crap. Watch them and see it all. Very interesting observation on this type of person, especially the covert narc who likes to hide in the shadows for such a long time, but once you see it, you can not unsee it. Just pick your battles and thread very carefully...❤️
I’m was the main supply and also a super empath ❤💪🏼
I just said I was researching different types of personalities; she just said she's 'normal'. I was immediately discarded again, this was during the hoover.
As usual a great video.. However, i have to say, after watching many of your videos i called out my ex on-off partner of 33 years a few weeks ago.. I ended the relationship 7 months ago after an 8 year relationship this time.. I have been suffering the results of narcissistic withdrawal due to the trauma bond between us, and have been in therapy, taking beta blockers to control the anxiety and sleeping tablets since.. It has been pure HELL
It was all done by text messages, as we hadn't been in contact for 4 months or so .. But i have to say, the resulting conversation answered all the questions i had, and whilst started well with her clearly thinking she was getting me back, ended up going the other way through my own reverse psychology, to the point she said goodbye and I've heard nothing since
Yes, i'm sure it wont last, and i'm sure there will be repercussions, but to be honest i'm the empathic type, that doesn't care what others think about ME, so let her crack on
Suffice to say however, by simply letting it all out and telling her what i thought (through a recorded voice message i sent), the weight that i physically felt lift off my shoulders was unreal .. I can honestly say, it was like letting go of the toxicity that existed in the relationship
I'm now not longer booked in for any therapy sessions, i've stopped taking all medications and am in a much happier place.. I still find myself wondering what she's up to from time to time, but the pain is gone .. So from my perspective (at the moment at least), it worked to vent it all out
Long may it last
Yep, it's not a good idea. I've called narcs out before, and they only made things much worse for me.
It really bothers me that I didn't go no contact. I stopped face to face contact because I figured out they were manipulating me. He begged for a face to face conversation, but I knew that was just so he could work another sob story. Though I ended up sending him alot of messages, I was lashing out. Though it bothers me that I didn't just withdraw. He got 'fuel' from me for quite sometime. It makes me feel really disappointed in myself
I left yesterday with kids my kids, we were married fir 15 years. I feel sorry for him. But I am free looking forward to a brighter tomorrow.
Yes so irritated mean when I called the narcissist out, it was hell I was met with rage 😡 the narcissist face was twisted in multiple directions shaking screaming yelling calling name it was horrible I just go in my vehicle and drive off.
Righteous
Now I figured out what they have done and I have lost all respect for my ex and I pray his normal family members can see the truth. If you take them to counseling or meetings they will ruin your reputation there as well. They get all your family members numbers etc to try and keep in touch with anyone whom may know you!!!!
Thanks
🙏❤️💪 thank you
Thank ❤.
That is right. Especially in my case with his connections in Police etc did not even make a difference! My town is very small. I was monitored for 1 year! He did get away with it cuz how can I do anything with those connections?? But it's ok, he was terminally ill. He was in pain. He didn't want his image destroyed since he owned a business! He called my husband, he told his cousins, our friends that I was terrible etc.til the end. For what? No use in it but what can we do........In my case his son that is still alive will monitor me if he so desires and he does. As if his Dad eft him a note to continue that. Just crazy! I can't do anything about it but just ignore and be silent. Live my life.
We rarely voice it took me 4 years to even admit what he is doing to get on my nerves bc I don't want him at all.
What gets to me is how stubborn and ignorant they can be, whenever I talk to one, it's like I can't teach them anything, they just don't seem to be able to learn.
I didnt state directly that I think she's a narcissist. Instead, I broke down and explained a lot of her behavior. I basically wrote an essay about her in the same way I did Dahmer in a college essay. I also wrote it void of any emotion or personal attacks. I'd already blocked her phone, and I'd already blocked her on social media before I started writing it. I basically gave copies of the essay to her sister, and a friend of an ex niece inlaw, who Ive known for about 28 years. I did all that after she texted me last year when she took a jab at me about being on strike, and she did it over a month into the strike. What I felt that day felt clinical, I was so angry, for one, at that point we'd been divorced for over three and a half years. I wanted to reply in a civil manner, and not give her maybe what she was trying to get. Which I did, but I think I found my pride that day.
Wow!
Brava!!!!
27 days no contact but she has been silent too is that normal?
I have been called every name you can imagine , horrible, horrible name's xx
No, I understand not to call them out just because we know not to because of such you tube videos but instead of calling them straight out as the Narcissist I'd have called out a specific action something like it took you 30 mins to nip out and get some milk? And then they quickly understand that I'm not buying anything they're saying they suddenly wish to add
They isolate you in ways never voiced about.
It wasn’t so much the fact I told him I knew his game, which he actually laughed at, but it was a very nervous laugh, he continued anyway. He was on high nasty when my replacement wanted ‘time out’ for 2 weeks to think about what she wanted, because he said something to trigger her on one of his weekends at her house, I got full force as he realised I knew something was up when he was still at the house we bought together. I hadn’t heard her voice (he puts all calls on speakerphone so I could hear) and when he didn’t go away, it was pretty obvious something was wrong, I asked him if she had dumped him and he was all coy saying she had other commitments, he knew I knew. However, in that 2 weeks out she wanted, he was on the phone to 4 other women off the dating website and none of them took off, he blew it on every one of them. I heard him being very sharp on the phone to my replacement before I left and she hung up. I moved out 12 days ago, no idea what he’s doing but I bet he’s worried sick I left my solicitor details. On recommendation from the Police, I have to take him to court for not only domestic abuse but also coercion which is a criminal offence in the U.K. I have over 140 recordings of his rages, rants and threats since 30th June 2022, the police also have them….he has no idea….yet. !!!
CaLi + the "Surprise" BONUS: of *Hawai'i, also, *WINNING* their Cases; ⚖️ 🇺🇲🎄🎶🥂almost 2+ Years, Ago!
To Yank "Coercive Control" ( = to: same as, the *Dbl-Bind/s* IN; their* "CULTS,") as well*!
The NY State Case on the que; Disappeared from RADAR, over a year, ago. I'm sorry to report.
But, yes. Right OFF their Books on?/ of? their State's Laws* → For: "Domestic Violence AND (/ or,) Sexual Assault"!!
+ Dom. Terrorism, + Torture + Fed. felony, Hate Crimes (12++?) Haven't re-vist'd on 1st's. (3rd. &) Final Review + ALL their Accumulated; per 2 VeRy $tupid, "Rt-W.Authoritarian," Nazi Narcopathic Criminals:
Deaths + Embezzlement, + Assaults, ... and Vile, viciously vindictive Gossip/ '11 y.o., Old BuZy-bodies' SLaNdEr*/ Defam. Campaigns!! . . .
Mentor: Diaper Don
APPRENTICE + protegé!
2.5 y.o. → Car Thief.
+ Prohibitive COSTS/ Damages+ for All Aspects of my H.C; due to a Genetic disorder!!
Per, All sibs, & parent's+ their 1 sib.
+ An Additional, Mutation in 1 - with, an eXtra + 'Y' male Chromosome, for 3* - on Top of, Highly Activated, 'heritable' and HORRENDOUSLY Severe, WWII TRAUMA/S! ... In, "Marfan's"!
+ *On Top of;* "Ehler Danlos Syndrome"!
Oops! I Forgot to Add; my Guestimate/ imo, of "Coercive Control" being; 20-35 % WORSE than, (70-75++%?) of ALL Rapes!
The $ycKer the Narc/s, the More convoluted their Thinking.
I Can't imagine the Confusion of their Love-Hate perceptions+
Belief's + Codependencie's w/ a More Complex* 'Love interest' vs. 'just a sibling,' per my*POS.
Regardless, the Trauma Bond!
Pushing 5 Years, and still Very Terrifying, my Fried N. Systems are unpredictable.
65 Yrs. "Family" Vs. They want* *you* Dead??? 😱
ADD; TL. 2 / + 5 Month's, gen., Dissociative AMNESIA + TL.
💥 🤯 💥 'Speech & Lang.' Center in, the Brain 💥 Disabled (& sounding Psychotic AF) as an, SLPath disabled child requiring Speech Therapy K., in to 1st. Grade. Reading to Top Level.
Then, Writing/↑ 'Dysgraphia" by, 200% 😱💥 with 1st. FOIA back!
This narcissist was 72 aging made him feel bad he would cry sometimes but then the narcissist would turn back into being mean.
Sounds like MacBeth & Lady MacBeth 😆
I don’t think mine is getting it . I’m literally not talking to him and last week he sent me a pic of me? Couple days ago it was a song that we used to listen to. I’m not saying anything back like he’s just texting a ghost . He doesn’t exist to me and I just hope he realizes I figured him out already