Brother I was her prom date she would always bring up that I've known her longer than I have known my parents (abandoned)..... I never knew it was purposeful for torture we are still married and I don't know if I can do anything else but escape and hopefully share custody
Same situation here. Married 12 years with kids. Going to talk to a psychologist soon to see if there is anything to work with but doubt it. Can’t live my life with toxicity, life is too short. Rather be single rest of my life.
Same situation here. Married 12 years with kids. Going to talk to a psychologist soon to see if there is anything to work with but doubt it. Can’t live my life with toxicity, life is too short. Rather be single rest of my life.
Same situation here. Married 12 years with kids. Going to talk to a psychologist soon to see if there is anything to work with but doubt it. Can’t live my life with toxicity, life is too short. Rather be single rest of my life.
I don't think they will miss you. She jumped to a guy right away after 2 year relationship. He just got a divorce a year ago on the one year mark they are engaged just crazy. After no contact and 3 months of social I got on because heard friends husband passed. I noticed she blocked me on everything. Crazy yes moving on but wondering why
One of the things I've noticed about narcs is that even if they lose they STILL put a spin on it that they haven't , and that the other party was ALWAYS wrong ! I have also noticed that whenever it is clear they are on a losing wicket they will often back off saying they can't be bothered to fight any further , they will NEVER admit defeat ! However there is usually signs of depression following this , because inside EVEN THEY know they have lost . Denial is EVERYTHING for them , and they are NEVER going to be to blame , and they will expect everyone they tell to agree with them ,..they are always the ULTIMATE victim ! 🙏❤️
They took EVERYTHING from me. After therapy with Anoushka, I moved into a tiny Daihatdu campervan for over a year. And after removing every single one of the narcissists, I regained my life, my career, a lovely car and a gorgeous house on 240 acres of private countryside, and a lovely garden, my private guitar business running on its own, and I want for nothing. I love my life, a bit lonely at times, but I've a lot of light and that goes with me wherever I go. They dont value it, their arrogance and anger in their hearts leads them to being miserable
My ex narcissist lost custody of our 3 children, has-been locked up 2xfor not paying support ( both times her enabling mom paid thousands), lost her right to alternate claiming them on taxes... it all works out in the end.... document everything,and CYA always!
My ex has a new supply, and he looks bad. I was surprised when I ran into him recently. He still texts me, and when I say I hope he and the kids are doing well, he never answers that. He knows I'm done, and I won't go back. He knows I'm doing well. He has to live with his choices.
@Eric Jackson my ex asked me if I hate him. I said I don't have room for hate in my life. I know that hating him will only harm me, so I chose to still be my true self and be kind but have boundaries. I have learned how to control my emotions with him and am happier for it. I wish you well. Thanks
I saw mine 2 weeks ago after he discarded me after 12 yrs of marriage. He looks terrible , and has gained a lot of weight. I pitied him , he used a different number to text and call me ..that is a shame he pretended to be happy but he is not
It catches up to them. They know what they did and cannot live with that. Until they are alone sick and also in their dying bed they are alone and still they make sure you are humiliated in their dying bed!!!!!!!
They only try to fill a void that is inside of them and blame it on you. This void is not filled by the next person nor any project cause its inside of them
By existential design, nature & life is filled with random imperfections, highs & lows. No single person can experience a life lived without flaws & obstacles - whose magnitude varies from individual to individual. Life is a series of problem-solving opportunities. The problems you face will either defeat you or develop you - depending on how you respond to them. Unfortunately, most people fail to see how God wants to use problems for good in their lives. They react foolishly and resent their problems rather than pausing to consider what benefit they might bring.
It's a competition so they must win. That isn't a relationship. They can't be alone- must not think of their actions so distraction is the key. Emotional dysregulation due to the smallest frustrations.
Your videos have made sense out of these tragic events....My heart was so sad right after the breakup I innitiated after seeing her with another guy going fishing to the same pond we used to go...she said she nipped it the bud and wasnt going to see that guy....yeah right.....I knew nothing about NPD until that night by chance one of your videos came up on youtube...Im sure it was a Godsend.....it put all the puzzle pieces together....making me realize rabbit hole I fell into for a year and a half. I looked at the comments and was shocked at how prevailent this NPD was....so many broken hearts......I truly include you in my prayers at night...Thanking God for your help to me and so many others!
I needed to hear this SO badly! Thank you. I’m grieving his representative because who he was when we started dating wasn’t who he was at the end. A switch was flipped. He can’t be alone either.
It’s also known as the ‘Shared Fantasy’. They are split. He says he wants to be on his own but in reality, the only time he is alone is when he is asleep.
I keep ruminating that after we divorce she will immediately find another man and I can not sleep even thinking about this. My therapist says I should feel bad for that other man and not be jealous of them!
As an ex narcissist, I can 100% confirm this. I think a lot of you need to hear this: narcs will want you to see that they are successful, beautiful, wealthy, have a lot of friends etc. In fact, they feel terrible, empty and lonely. Every narc knows they are a fake. They indeed are afraid of vulnerability. They are afraid because they treat it like a weakness and something shameful. And it’s the biggest core wound of all narcissists: defectiveness. They will try to do anything to hide how they feel. And they’ll keep engaging in self-aggrandizing behaviors, as it’s the only thing that helps them temporarily soothe their pain. Ah, and also for those who tries to wait and hopes that a narcissist will change: The chances are very low. The only way a narcissist can change (it’s possible, of course, through a lot of hard work and therapy) is when they can’t use their coping strategies anymore to soothe pain. And this happens only when something extremely painful and outrageously bad keeps happening to them for a prolonged period of time (like a huge crisis). And still not everybody will change even under the worst circumstances. So, just let them go and start focusing on your life and on things that make you feel happy and fulfilled 🙏
This maybe the best comment I’ve ever read on UA-cam! Thank you for being vulnerable and real. I had FOMO with a person, and truth be told- I’m not missing ANYTHING. Blessings to him, as I don’t want any harm to be done but GOODBYE!
I too want to thank you for sharing your story.......the patterns never change and if you think they will, I suggest looking up Albert Einstein's definition of Insanity...... people CAN change if they want it bad enough and I commend you for doing so......I pray that you will continue to share your goodness with the world and most of all, share it with yourself and be happy😊🙏👍👍💪
@@licmir3663 I am really sorry to hear it 😥 I can completely understand why you decided to put it like that. I’m not blaming you. It’s ok to say things like that, especially if you’ve been hurt by someone with narcissistic traits. I hope the pain you went through will only make you stronger and wiser and will let you attract more kind and caring people in your life 🙏
I exposed the narcissist and did the humiliation part which was satisfying. As a father of 4 boys, I'm devastated and deeply hurt. I don't know how to find the courage to get out now. It's so difficult and painful I wouldn't wish this on anyone.
I was with a covert narc for 4 years...seemed like a perfect relationship, no fights EVER, very patient and relaxed. BUT it's never as it seems. Only afterwards I realised the abuse through therapy. He cheated and left me for a woman 20 years younger after knowing her a month online only😂. Thought he hit the jackpot right? They have been living together for 5 months now, they are both literally bankrupt, can't pay rent, she throws glasses etc. at him during fights while he goes hiding and crying in a corner. He is the I am the victim type. I have been in no contact with him since the discard and my life is better than ever. They will never be happy...sad actually
Yes, many times i feel bad for them, for all they have been through, but whenever he calls me names, i feel hurtful, why would someone who claimed that they love me but calls me names, and many times i just kept quiet, and I tell myself, be more forgiving because i want to believe that they behave how they behabed is becsuse of their upbringing and the environment they are in, its not by choice they behave this way...i left and come back many times...it has been this way, and one fine day, I couldnt take it anymore, the controlling, the manipulation, disrespect, the names calling and all, I take up the courage and tell hkm i am leaving, and tell myself no turning back this time. It hurts though but i know i have to end it.
This video really helps me because my husband of 12 years left 3 weeks ago for his next supply. My head is still spinning because he left so cruel and heartless
Just discovered your channel. Healing from a second trauma bond. I seem to draw these types sadly. 😔 I also suffer from PTSD which he used to his advantage I feel to torment and manipulate me. Thank you for these videos! I think the person I just recently was in a situationship with was quite possibly a vulnerable/covert narcissist as opposed to a grandiose overt narcissist. He did occasionally show the vulnerable side of himself to me, mostly in the beginning during the love bombing. Sometimes sober other times drunk. He told me he was not a happy person and talked about wanting to die in his sleep but refused to acknowledge he needed help. He told me he was emotionally desensitized. He shared vulnerable parts about his past but then blamed me for going down a rabbit trail that led him to remember it. He was always angry, blaming me for things he caused, gaslighting, name calling, stonewalling, devalujng me, withholding sex and affection, push pull dynamics, the whole nine yards. It was the closest thing to torture I've ever been through but I couldn't reach him or help him. I love him but now that its ended I feel sorry for his next victim. I hope she gets out sooner than I did and doesn't try to stay and fix what is long broken. I thought if I loved him enough he would change but I was naive. The trauma bond is real!
I didn’t even have to watch the video to know this. She lost it all. She’s going to keep losing until she heals. While we were together, her parents said to her ‘We told you that you’d find what you want right?’ Wanted everything I wanted. Yeaaaah. She dipped on everything she said she’s always wanted. Over a nothing burger. The most minute argument I’ve ever had. I can’t say I’m happy about this and in hindsight seeing so many red flags, I got kind of lucky. It really could’ve been great. - the narcissism.
I also think that bcs the narcs are users, that they are not good at what they do - they only tell everybody that they are. They make others do their jobs or help them with it. After that say that they did everything by themsekves and the helpers did nothing - they always turn things around and I think, they do this with everything, talking behind the backs and blackmaling everyone better than them - this is how they get the promotions.
My ex narc put me threw hell ,she always use to say I was a lier and she couldn't trust me yet she never could tell me why or what evedince she had to prove all this ,why she did this is to make me feel bad to plant a seed in my head to use me as an excuse to make her behaviour look ok .yet I always asked her show me proof I'm lying of anything because I new I had not lied about anything and I new I was totally trustworthy,she went so low after we had fell out with the worst insults any body could ever read ,very personal attacks on me to a point that I couldn't believe what I was reading ,my mistake was I let her back in to my life a second time for her only to be exactly the same again ,she as tryed to do and say the worst things ever about me ,but the second time I stood up to her I actually told her based on all your actions and words you have a personality disorder I believe your narcissistic,you can imagine how this went down like a building falling ,they are totally twisted in how they mirror everything back on to you and they will mentally and physically kill you if you let them but I came back strong I totally stud up to her in every sense and she just got worse and actually showed me I was correct in calling her out
Yep that’s them all day the flip n get aggressive when you catch them in their lies or on to them or know they up to something so sad they put up a great flaunt they are masters in disguise it’s a real spiritual ware
Sadly many narcissists will lose so much good things in there lives because of how they are they don’t love or appreciate good people neither they don’t care only about themselves I was once around a toxic narcissist I realize my life is better off without her she wasn’t good for me I did like her as a friend but it wasn’t enough for her plus she was toxic I couldn’t continue being around someone like that slowly healing from this I was abused by her so I told her to get out of my life you can go I said so yes most narcissists including her will never be happy with anyone or anything else nothing is positive about a narcissist they won’t bring anything good for your life so just keep them out eventually they going to lose everything good so let them be alone where they belong with there miserable self.
Is it that when they come back they will only use you and mess up your life again - just more of what they already did, bcs this is all they know. The people wake up and leave them. This is how they lose their power and end up lonely.
Wow that part about being alone was absolutely spot on. My ex narc gf left me and then gave me the sob story about how she can't be alone. Those demons wanna snatch them up when they're alone.
Yes, this sounds just like my neighbor, male who is 78 years old. Everything is about him. He has many women. And he always says, " She is the love of my life." Or " I am so happy with this new woman." Yes, " We have a good connection. " Then if these women do not do what he wants, then down the road they go! One by one! I would never go to be with this man because I know how he talked terrible about every woman he went to bed with. But I had to have a knee replacement. And I needed to have someone drive me home. So, I drove down to ST. Helena paid for the two beds and meals ect. And I told him I was getting two beds at the Wellness Center. And he told me that was fine. And in the meantime, he had his best friends ex-wife in his house because she needed a place to stay. So the moring of my surgery, he was in his bed, staring at me while I was sleeping! When I woke up, he had been staring at me. How creepy!!!! But this person tried to lure me in to bed before we had taken this trip, and told him appsultly ! But these people do not take no answer because they think they are entitled to have sex with without marriage! This man refused to go camping with an ex-girlfriend because she told him she wouldn't go to bed with him. And yes, this man is all about himself and repeatedly talks about how he taken all the spankings for him and his bothers. Both parents were medical doctors and lived in a five bedroom five bathroom home in LA. And from the sound of these people were narcissistic parents! After his parents died, each of the three boys got 2 Million dollars. This man doesn't want marriage. He feels that marriage is just a piece of paper. But the real reason is: he doesn't want to share his wealth. On the other hand, the other two bothers have money too, but they ended up married to the same wife for years. They had children and now grown and out of the nest. These two brothers made more money while this 78 year old continues to isolate himself never commutes rarely talks to his brothers. I find this very strange. You cannot cure these people whether are a: covert, classic, and the other narcissistic trate that begins with M. Yes, I have seen and herd these guy talk sadistic about his women and blame them. And he says oneghing and changes his story. And make promises and then puts you under the bus! It doesn't matter if you're a girlfriend or just a friend if you do not do what he wants, the you're get the sadistic comments, gasliging! And you cannot tell these people that they are a narcissistic because they will not admit it! But I did because I am not going to put up with an ass hole and have him disrespect me like he has all of his other livein women who got kicked out! He has his has hi 62 year old live in that has been with him for almost a year, but give it sometime and she too will be out the door. This man had told me how he talked to his Sargent when he was in yhe army. He told me he he had pulled down his pants and gave him moved him infront of his face. And brakes about one of his ex-girlfriend and told my brother and one of our friends that she gave him good head. This is one of the flags that told me I would never have sex with nor a relationship. And he wants people to know he has money 💰. I do not talk to this guy no more! And I know he is going to talk about me like he does every one else. You cannot help thise kind of people because he will be alone until he dies!
I work with people who have severe substance use disorders…that work reinforces everything Anoushka is saying in this and other videos. Narcissists will always self destruct 100% of the time, I just see the ones who do it with drugs and alcohol. They think they have power/control over their addiction but they never do. I have seen some of the most narcissistic people be homeless and very sick but they still think they can control the people in their life. I do not enjoy this at all. In fact, seeing people so committed to their delusions and magical thinking is really frustrating. I would go so far as to say that narcissism is 100% fatal and it’s a long, slow, death.
@@ericjackson-nq4hp I couldn’t agree more with your comment. To be clear, I’m only saying that I encounter narcissistic people in my job but not all people who have addictions are narcissists. Addiction is just one path to their undoing. I have very strong opinions about the failure rate of substance abuse treatment in America but I’ll spare you. Let’s just say that for profit companies don’t like to lose customers and a lot of treatment facilities are run by for profit entities.
My husband of 12 years has backslid into drinking 7 nights a week and has left for the secretary from his work. . He's definitely in self destruction mode
I think that you are wonderful for helping people who have or are going through narcissist abuse!.. Not too many people know about narcissist I live in Tennessee and my husband who is a narcissist 😢 he discarded me going on 9 years ago... We were together for 16 years and I never knew about narcissist until it was too late... So girl's his name is Bobby Ray Adams and he lives in Texas he has a band called b Ray and the humans and Bob off the square? No one knows him the real Bobby he lives in grand Berry Texas. I think I spelled that right? Anyway I have been battling him with a divorce and he has filed the divorce papers on the computer and wants me to sign something that I can't see all that is in the divorce papers.... We had talked about what he was to have and I was to have he got his part and he said that he would pay for the storage that my things were and my car because I was so sick and couldn't drive myself back to Tennessee this is where my boys and their families live.... My oldest son is a narcissist also I just found out and it has been devastating.... After what Bobby put me through with narcissist abuse... He never brought my car and things to me he already had this young girl lined up and they were going to get married but she left him She doesn't know what a blessing it was to not marry him I am happy for her because this narcissist abuse has been the worst thing I have ever been through.. I have PTSD and depression and anxiety and have so many other things physically wrong with me... I feel like my heart and myself will never be the same The metal toll has been beyond overwhelming And just to think that the whole time I was married to him and me loving him more than myself and just knowing that his love for me was a lie The whole thing was nothing but a lie ... How messed up that I get up thinking about him and loving the one that was good to me only if I went alone with everything he wanted... I never got any emotional support from him when I was the one who was trying everything to support him and it was never enough I am still exhausted and sick from the abuse.... None of my family will support me I am in this alone well I have all of you because you get it you have been through this and you know what I am feeling as far as the hurt and pain 😢... The flashbacks from the abuse doesn't help any and I don't know how to just move on? But I know that I have to and I want to but having depression from him has made it even harder!!! I don't think that they are any words describeing how hard this has been!!!! I hurt beyond any words could say I can't afford to get any narcissist abuse help.... I just feel stuck.... If anyone knows him please just know that he isn't who he claims to be!!! He is a narcissist and my sister said that she read on Facebook that some women said that everyone needed some of Bobby Ray if they only knew.... Is it normal to want to uncover him ? He plays music at the bars and at a cowboy church he lives for attention that's what it is all about right? How shocking this has been!!!! I lost myself loving someone who was trying to destroy me and didn't have a clue! I have always known that something wasn't right but I didn't know what? But now I know and I try so hard working on trying to figure out who I am right now I just feel like a empty shell.... I am sure that you all get it... I hurt with my whole being!!! I am 60 years old and so is he but he thinks I guess that he is in his 30's just sharing this makes me feel sick to my stomach like I want to throw up because of the damage it has done to my health... We know a lot of people who live here in Tennessee we whet to church my love for the lord is real and he fakes himself and everyone loves him and thinks he can do no wrong but I don't go around any of these people because he has told so many lies on me and had this way of making them think that I am the crazy one.... But I know that I am so blessed that he discarded me because also I didn't have any thing left in me too give to him. He has and had drained everything that was in me too give... I have been through enough for 9 women I have been through a lot of death s and that is what it had and still does is feel like I am going through a death it actually feels worse than a death.... I am sure that you all understand that feeling... Please know that I am praying for you all !!! As I do for myself!!!! I have been abused as a child by my narcissist stepmother.. I never got to know my real mother before she passed away and after my mother had passed my stepmother told me that I could go on in and see my mom.... My dad passed away when I was 14 years old They are just not enough words of explaining how broken 💔 I am... Love and prayers to all of you beautiful people who have been through narcissist abuse I!....
Great and informative as ever. My Narc, well a peice of work she turned out to be, left her husband who had just retired, with 3 tiny kids, because she was 'bored' for some flash twerp at her place of work. Of course Flash Harry wasn't committed to her, since then random relationship to relationship, in the space 5 or 6 years, leaving a scorched earth shell behind every time. Utterly neurotic, emotionally unstable, immature, profligate with money, grandious, taking oofence at any minor interpretation of criticism....wow, how miserable is her life
Thanks Heavens for loosing everything because reaching out to Nothing is where the Magic starts to happen. Where you use your LifeForce to be where you want to be with whom you will meet later on that Field of Energy, Frequency and Healing Space that will align to your Frequency. Trust the Process.
Thank you for sharing. Yes, for me it’s a spiritual battle. Material possessions or sanity. I’m just going to have to leave everything and go. It’s a leap of faith ❤
@@nickieglazer33 some people think that both the material and the spiritual cannot be achieved. But what about trying 50/50? Some say that in this planet is not possible and in other planets yes ..I don't know. Is best to grow veggies in the garden and find a way to live without being tied to the system.
Soooo true. The day after I told the ex narc it was over for good, he was on a dating website and found someone else. He put all their calls and the rest of his harem on speakerphone so I could hear it all. He told me the new woman was THE ONE, he had opportunities he never thought he could ever have, he was going to go all out for her. I heard him tell her that he never felt that way since his first wife (he had 3)…..all the same rubbish he told me a year earlier. 2 weeks Before I moved out, he said something to upset her (what a surprise) and she wanted time out, he was back on the website the night after and had 3 under his belt, however they all dumped him without meeting him. I’m hoping she stayed away, but he had to get a mortgage and sell stocks and shares to buy me out (6 months after we bought the house) so he’s 10s of £1000s out of pocket. The one before me that bought a house with him also left and he had to get a mortgage, so he’s back to square one yet again but with a bigger house with 2 empty rooms now since I took my furniture with me. He was mortgage free with both of us and the one prior who also bought a house and left him. Never bloody learns. He’ll be looking for the next one and that will blow up in his face too.
Thanks for this message. It is so rewarding finding an outcome to a problem that was very significant in my life. I am content at where I am now. God bless you. ❤
Grattitude Annoushka. Your wisdom and explanation helps a lot. The silver lining: also the most painful: his betrayal. His new partner/ supply will most definitely won’t be accepted. So inappropriate and sinister that the relationship will end before it begins and the supply will absolutely suffer. Which painfully, I never hurt her. I never did anything to her. Yet she showed me only jealousy, lies and manipulation.She took of her mask too. She betrayed me too. She called upon herself to lie to the Narc about me and desire to steal from me: mind, body and soul. They will implode and it will be painful and I really don’t care… almost.. anymore. I let them go. They are free from me. I want to see the live stream. Thank you Annouahka for sharing
Everything always under their control until life happens...... We have a funeral to go to which ends up being the Narcs cousin and he can't do anything about it since my husband is in the Church Choir!!!!!!
Totally true They are enotionally inmature. There is nothing with the passing of time and use increases in value. She is old and used. She is not happy because of the black hole un her soul . T
Unfortunately all you are saying is true. They are not content. They are not happy. They are not grateful. No stability. A shaky ground for us to stand on. They will end up as loosers. Too bad, cos we really deeply loved them or what we thought they were. Ty
Yep that’s why the narc Ik went so hard on her crafts and looks to make her appear to be shiny ✨ to lure our asses in theh going all out during the 1st toggle us n the ex n whoever else then once they end they fall back and expect you to be a chef Cinderella do what they say watch tv only when they want to it’s definitely a mental n physical cage I’m free spirited nahhh couldn’t do on top of the ex giving me the 🍵 that I sipped 2 days later here comes the Disgard because I wanted to go sleep in my own spot n think things thru homegirl twisted it saying I was jelly as she says about all her frds sibs mtr/dad even strangers I’m jelly a hater a cheater n a demon because I asked why she was in a rush she could have dropped off my hair she made it seem like I was cramping her style or some sht tf.. not even I wasn’t feeling the vibe period after sipping tea 🍵 from the ex sht I’m straight so she in turn discarded me and had the nerve a few days later to say I made her angry for defending her lies about me to the ex 😂 the blameshifting is horrible Chile I stood up for myself and said you called me stingy correct the narc oh I never said that my defense I said I take care of my self my bills my hair nails xyz maintence hmgrl said we both was talking about her n called her broke I never said that I told the ex she talks about everyone Including me the narc oh you said I talk about everyone I said you do the world and me too she was pissed that I sip the so called crazy ex that’s doing her but also messy proof that the narc been in contact thank you god for the revelation whtr tne narc with ha or someone else i over stayed long enuff shouldn’t even gave it a second shot but for the sake of flake scam as love that I realize that’s all it was …
I knew she was a little off in the beginning. I knew she was mean. I had a messes up childhood so I could handle her nonsense. I didn't know she was sleeping with random men until last year. That's when I learned what a narcissist was. She is gone. I've exposed her. She is no longer traveling a rigging shows with me or any company. She also developed a secret cocaine habit. But shames ppl for abusing drugs. Funny. Hypocrite 😊😂😂😂
Mine tried to hoover after a sudden discard. When I looked back at our marriage, he’d never done anything to make it better. I might have already showed him that it wouldn’t work if I just keep self soothing myself. He honestly told me that he’d never change, so what’s the point for a rekindle? What’s the meaning of the hoover, right? My door is locked. I really don’t want to live with an unhappy person anymore (2 literally, and his overt narc mum). I can’t fix him indeed if he doesn’t think he’s the problem.
My Ex gf is 51, never married. She is very beautiful. She told me she has always been the Side Chick. I told her that stops NOW. I was with her 17 months. She ❤bombed me about 2 mos, then the next 15 it was touch & go. I knew she was Bipolar & blamed her actions on her illness. I learned everything I could about the illness & tried to apply what I learned to help her manage it. She set me FREE 6 mos ago. I discovered Bipolar normally overlap with Narc traits. Man!! Only thing missing is her picture. Now I know y she has always been a Side CHICK!! Best of luck for her. I'm journaling, Therapy, PEP talks in mirror, Tons of research, giving myself the ❤ I gave to her. Just me & my German Shepherd Dog.
The narc n her mtr herself confirms she is bi polar howeber the narc says she has severe anxiety n depression nah it’s the bi polar.. crazy because she planted a roomer when I 1st got around her saying my folks mention I was no polar tf I’ve never heard that as they say the narcs always reveal themselves thru 3rd parties…
Same here, he definitely saddled the wrong horse with the new woman. I know it is wrong to enjoy other people's troubles, but I find his situation hilarious🌹
In the past few days my narcissist ex has messaged many people to have a ‘debate’ with him over languages, linguistics and spirituality (lol), and very aggressively so. And in these past few days he has also been fighting with me non stop trying to make me feel guilty (even though relation is over for a good two months and he was the one that left), I’ve been teying to get him off my back but have some projects tied with him, so decided to block him and ask him to correspond only on Email threads. I don’t know why he wants me to feel guilty now about not being good enough when he left me lol I mean the deed is done why break heads over it now.
I don't know how you can't feel a tremendous amount of sadness and compassion for someone who is dealing with this trauma, I mean the narcissist. We who have been hurt by them can recover, but the narcissist seems to have so little hope for recovery. Is doing nothing, showing no compassion towards them, really the only answer? What would St. Francis of Assisi do when confronted by such a person? It seems like we should try to steer them into therapy in hopes of obtaining some relief from their never ending misery. That is the dilemma I am confronting right now.
How is it possible that a narcissist can turn close friends and colleagues against you? And don’t tell me that ”they where never your friends to begin with”. There is some devilish intelligence behind such manipulative skills….
At holm, everything they do is one great big masquerade! From start to finish. Masters at deception and illusion! I believe they're 'fallen angels', pure evil. Devoid of empathy, and without empathy and with their sadistic behaviour they are 'from the devil'! Can't be anything else! They make a mockery of Christians and Christianity by attending church, and at the same time telling you they are going to hell in the afterlife! Their hell is here on earth too where they try to make life for everyone they pretend to like 'a hell on earth'. I believe this, because many people have had trauma in their lives and still end up being empathetic!
This has been exactly what my wife has done. The closer I got to knowing the real her, the angrier she became with me. She has said often "when im with you i feel the weight of the world on my shoulders!" I felt like inwas the problem, but ive learned the real problem is deep within her. She cant own the guilt and shame she brought upon herself with all of the lies, cheating, and cruelty to me. It has to always be my fault, no matter what it is she did. She found a new supply and moved on. Telling me i needed to do the same. But the she played this game with where i was left saying "she loves me, she loves me not" for almost 4 years!
Until he was dying, I sensed his frustration and desperation in our , last phone conversation. I did not know he was dying buy boy did I noticed something odd! He passed 30 days later
I have only been talking to this person for about 3 months over the Internet, not much conversing. He has been vulnerable, does not pretend he is happy when he is not, but does try to manipulate me on many levels. He has had some education on his disorder, obviously, but does not complete the program. I have never had this type of situation, never given the kind of support I have for this particular person. I wish him well, and will never say or do anything that will hurt him to others or that will hurt him, personally.
Found out he divorced the new supply who he tried to take all her money. And now he back to running his circle of of old supply. Funny we knew each other. And know he starts this over. This is so true. 9:27
I be with a narcissistic person for a year. I expose her and tell her she is a narcissistic person but I can’t get her to leave me. I broke up with her 1 month ago and she keep coming back every day, she is so abusive , aggressive, treating me all the time I don’t know what to do? She is following me in every bar I’m going, making a scene when I be talking to different woman, she don’t care. She is so a psycho danger person. She broke my balcony door just to check who I’m with. I really don’t know what to do
I'm so sorry to hear what you are going through. It is a good idea to get proof of her behaviour, don't hesitate to phone the police when she is following you, breaking into your place or making a scene somewhere. She is basically looking for any kind of attention from you, but she sounds like she may be dangerous too. I really hope it works out and that things get better for you🌹🌹
The new supply is harassing me emotionally now after 2years. What to do? Note-she has been stalking me lately on social media. she wants me to delete a pic which i uploaded on ig many years ago. Thats a normal pic of just me which shows only a shoulder which she thinks to be the narcissist's (now her husband) this lead to a lot of fight between me and the new supply over txt. She is forcing me to delete the pic and calling me names what not. Should i do what she says or ignore. Please help me and suggest what i should do. Tired of this drama.
I like this video. It should be in the "aging narcissist file" sss. Cause age is the equalizer. My ex has a tbi... We have a child together... So its a narcissist on meth that I'm dealing with.
Mine was a drunk and a coke addict. Stuck with her through it all. All for her to come out healed.. then she cheated on me...lied to me..and discarded me like a dirty rubber. Such agreat feeling being used to no end.. and if fact.. that you NEVER Matterd to her ..not one bit. I gave everything i had to her and her son. 5 years. Gone. Family gone..dog gone. No goodbye.. no thanks..no nothing. Just gone.
Can I ask you? I’m 45. Been a loner my entire life. I’ve always just did me. Met my ex 8 yrs ago. Got divorced 2yrs ago. Holding on to breadcrumbs since. In the hopes we were gonna get back together. My mind isn’t registering what has happened. I refuse to accept it. 8 yrs of living for my wife and kids. She separated me from the boys. Left me. And now, at 45 I feel so alone and isolated. I’ve never had a problem being alone before I met her. All of you great people say narcissists can’t stand being alone. Am I the narcissist? It’s all just making me crazy. Trying to understand my trauma bond. Accepting what has happened. Therapy. But she’s instilled into me, that everything was my fault. I’m trying to convince my logical mind that I’ve been duped, but I won’t acknowledge it. Why is this happening? How does it happen?
But some cases, You are FORCED to take off their mask... because of their crazy makings, your normal brain trying to figure out... I am actually GLAD I took mask off, I KNOW who he is FULLY which was important for my healing. He KNOWS there is absolutely no chance for Hoover because of that, and I am SOOO GLAD!
@@dididisun I took the mask off in hopes he would see the situation and change and forgive himself . But true that’s the reason I am not getting hovered now as well , and the choice I made to be done .
Anoushka I have this even after no contact and wonder if you can comment on this and if others go thru this also/ I don't want the narcist but I find deep in my sub conscious battle when i go there the battle goes on My mind has to constantly battle the narcist with truth to the fake news it confronts mw with. How does this happen? TY
Will they start looking older? Mine has after I started ignoring him. He says Im ruining him mentally. He has mirrored me and this night I dreamt he was dating another girl too. Im over with him. Im not texting him and we were going to spain together but Im not taking his calls if he call or texts I will ignore him.
Well my covert doesn’t pretend that their life is good, when back with the old supplies yes, but the act is their life is bad and everyone treats them like dirt.. I’ve noticed that every relationship ended in fire, almost literally, when I pointed that out, the stories of her past stopped…. She basks in the chaos of it, loved to be the pinnacle of the fight…. So that being said, her old supply is never the supply, they are being kept because they don’t have better, they fight for her because they can do no better…. I couldn’t figure it out but I did, it’s always the chaos, I’m elevating myself from the round Robin, if theory is correct, she will burn them down too, that’s my agenda lol… she can’t leave she has to have someone fighting for her in the realm of sympathy, so she will villanize them… at no point has she ever left with glory…. It’s that wanting feeling, to create supply out of want and sympathy… that’s a very hard thing to change, so just don’t fight it, but most importantly, don’t fight for them…. He’ll fight for someone else in front of them lol..
Forgive yourself and focus on healing . The best revenge is living well without them.
She was my soul mate' I felt wonderful ' then she ripped my heart out
Brother I was her prom date she would always bring up that I've known her longer than I have known my parents (abandoned)..... I never knew it was purposeful for torture we are still married and I don't know if I can do anything else but escape and hopefully share custody
Same situation here. Married 12 years with kids. Going to talk to a psychologist soon to see if there is anything to work with but doubt it. Can’t live my life with toxicity, life is too short. Rather be single rest of my life.
Same situation here. Married 12 years with kids. Going to talk to a psychologist soon to see if there is anything to work with but doubt it. Can’t live my life with toxicity, life is too short. Rather be single rest of my life.
Same situation here. Married 12 years with kids. Going to talk to a psychologist soon to see if there is anything to work with but doubt it. Can’t live my life with toxicity, life is too short. Rather be single rest of my life.
Same here my wife of 12 years no closure she not happy with the marriage me and our child are devastated and she’s farting unicorn rainbows
They lost you! They will miss you once you are out of reach and moved on.
Facts ✅️
They wont
I don't think they will miss you. She jumped to a guy right away after 2 year relationship. He just got a divorce a year ago on the one year mark they are engaged just crazy. After no contact and 3 months of social I got on because heard friends husband passed. I noticed she blocked me on everything. Crazy yes moving on but wondering why
One of the things I've noticed about narcs is that even if they lose they STILL put a spin on it that they haven't , and that the other party was ALWAYS wrong ! I have also noticed that whenever it is clear they are on a losing wicket they will often back off saying they can't be bothered to fight any further , they will NEVER admit defeat ! However there is usually signs of depression following this , because inside EVEN THEY know they have lost . Denial is EVERYTHING for them , and they are NEVER going to be to blame , and they will expect everyone they tell to agree with them ,..they are always the ULTIMATE victim ! 🙏❤️
Facts ✅️
I heard that word,,, I can't be bothered to argue any more, the best part it was like she was arguing with herself.
They took EVERYTHING from me. After therapy with Anoushka, I moved into a tiny Daihatdu campervan for over a year. And after removing every single one of the narcissists, I regained my life, my career, a lovely car and a gorgeous house on 240 acres of private countryside, and a lovely garden, my private guitar business running on its own, and I want for nothing. I love my life, a bit lonely at times, but I've a lot of light and that goes with me wherever I go. They dont value it, their arrogance and anger in their hearts leads them to being miserable
My ex narc is a parasite. End of.
My ex narcissist lost custody of our 3 children, has-been locked up 2xfor not paying support ( both times her enabling mom paid thousands), lost her right to alternate claiming them on taxes... it all works out in the end.... document everything,and CYA always!
My ex has a new supply, and he looks bad. I was surprised when I ran into him recently. He still texts me, and when I say I hope he and the kids are doing well, he never answers that. He knows I'm done, and I won't go back. He knows I'm doing well. He has to live with his choices.
@Eric Jackson my ex asked me if I hate him. I said I don't have room for hate in my life. I know that hating him will only harm me, so I chose to still be my true self and be kind but have boundaries. I have learned how to control my emotions with him and am happier for it. I wish you well. Thanks
Good u r doing well 😊 I'm happy your narcissist ex is suffering.
Well done, Stacey
I saw mine 2 weeks ago after he discarded me after 12 yrs of marriage. He looks terrible , and has gained a lot of weight. I pitied him , he used a different number to text and call me ..that is a shame he pretended to be happy but he is not
It catches up to them. They know what they did and cannot live with that. Until they are alone sick and also in their dying bed they are alone and still they make sure you are humiliated in their dying bed!!!!!!!
They only try to fill a void that is inside of them and blame it on you. This void is not filled by the next person nor any project cause its inside of them
So true
100%
Yes the best healing and revenge is living happily without the Narc.
Starting over is hard. Being dead is worse! These ppl are broken and will do anything to hurt you. Get out as fast as you can!
we end up losing . they are gone and we waste our time to learn this stupid circle of a psycho we never needed to enter .
We learn but they can’t so we are the winners. Continue learning about yourself because your worth it
A narcissist is sent into our lives for our growth. To learn and change. We are the winners.
@@warangel4389 at a very horrible cost
By existential design, nature & life is filled with random imperfections, highs & lows. No single person can experience a life lived without flaws & obstacles - whose magnitude varies from individual to individual. Life is a series of problem-solving opportunities. The problems you face will either defeat you or develop you - depending on how you respond to them.
Unfortunately, most people fail to see how God wants to use problems for good in their lives. They react foolishly and resent their problems rather than pausing to consider what benefit they might bring.
It's a competition so they must win. That isn't a relationship. They can't be alone- must not think of their actions so distraction is the key. Emotional dysregulation due to the smallest frustrations.
Spot on
Spot on
💯
You're bang on with this video and every other. One minute i'm the best and in a split second I'm the absolute worst. Just craziness.
Your videos have made sense out of these tragic events....My heart was so sad right after the breakup I innitiated after seeing her with another guy going fishing to the same pond we used to go...she said she nipped it the bud and wasnt going to see that guy....yeah right.....I knew nothing about NPD until that night by chance one of your videos came up on youtube...Im sure it was a Godsend.....it put all the puzzle pieces together....making me realize rabbit hole I fell into for a year and a half.
I looked at the comments and was shocked at how prevailent this NPD was....so many broken hearts......I truly include you in my prayers at night...Thanking God for your help to me and so many others!
Everything you stated is absolutely spot on. All the pieces of the puzzle finally fit together.
Amen man
I needed to hear this SO badly! Thank you. I’m grieving his representative because who he was when we started dating wasn’t who he was at the end. A switch was flipped. He can’t be alone either.
He didn't change. You just got to know them.
You’re so right. Same situation with me… how I was fooled!! Glad I have this knowledge to help move forward!
I too experienced the “switch” it’s like the absolute polar opposite personality also, she can’t be alone either
It’s also known as the ‘Shared Fantasy’.
They are split.
He says he wants to be on his own
but in reality, the only time he is alone is when he is asleep.
I'm going through the same thing right now, we've been married for 12 years, this is brutal
Thank you for telling the truth about narcissists
They are spiteful ,mean sometimes cruel people
Who are fully aware of what they are doing to others
I keep ruminating that after we divorce she will immediately find another man and I can not sleep even thinking about this. My therapist says I should feel bad for that other man and not be jealous of them!
Your therapist is right ✅️
Therapist is correct 💯
As an ex narcissist, I can 100% confirm this. I think a lot of you need to hear this: narcs will want you to see that they are successful, beautiful, wealthy, have a lot of friends etc. In fact, they feel terrible, empty and lonely. Every narc knows they are a fake. They indeed are afraid of vulnerability. They are afraid because they treat it like a weakness and something shameful. And it’s the biggest core wound of all narcissists: defectiveness. They will try to do anything to hide how they feel. And they’ll keep engaging in self-aggrandizing behaviors, as it’s the only thing that helps them temporarily soothe their pain.
Ah, and also for those who tries to wait and hopes that a narcissist will change:
The chances are very low. The only way a narcissist can change (it’s possible, of course, through a lot of hard work and therapy) is when they can’t use their coping strategies anymore to soothe pain. And this happens only when something extremely painful and outrageously bad keeps happening to them for a prolonged period of time (like a huge crisis).
And still not everybody will change even under the worst circumstances. So, just let them go and start focusing on your life and on things that make you feel happy and fulfilled 🙏
You nailed it ❤❤❤
This maybe the best comment I’ve ever read on UA-cam! Thank you for being vulnerable and real. I had FOMO with a person, and truth be told- I’m not missing ANYTHING. Blessings to him, as I don’t want any harm to be done but GOODBYE!
I too want to thank you for sharing your story.......the patterns never change and if you think they will, I suggest looking up Albert Einstein's definition of Insanity...... people CAN change if they want it bad enough and I commend you for doing so......I pray that you will continue to share your goodness with the world and most of all, share it with yourself and be happy😊🙏👍👍💪
There’s no such thing as an ex-narcissist or a healed narcissist. Please go find another place to dupe people.
@@licmir3663 I am really sorry to hear it 😥
I can completely understand why you decided to put it like that. I’m not blaming you. It’s ok to say things like that, especially if you’ve been hurt by someone with narcissistic traits. I hope the pain you went through will only make you stronger and wiser and will let you attract more kind and caring people in your life 🙏
I exposed the narcissist and did the humiliation part which was satisfying. As a father of 4 boys, I'm devastated and deeply hurt. I don't know how to find the courage to get out now. It's so difficult and painful I wouldn't wish this on anyone.
I can't leave my house either. My head is on a swivel
I went to the gym for 6 months. Now I’ve got every narc in Sydney wrapped around my pinky finger. Abs are like kryptonite for narcs
They lose but so does everyone around them.
I saw my narcassist at her most vulnerable. Even met her real self. It was sad. Now she is on a downward spiral since i confronted her
Yeah they can’t be left alone, so true.
Anoushka - you are so smart and well spoken! Thank you for all your help! You’re an angel :)
I was with a covert narc for 4 years...seemed like a perfect relationship, no fights EVER, very patient and relaxed. BUT it's never as it seems. Only afterwards I realised the abuse through therapy. He cheated and left me for a woman 20 years younger after knowing her a month online only😂. Thought he hit the jackpot right? They have been living together for 5 months now, they are both literally bankrupt, can't pay rent, she throws glasses etc. at him during fights while he goes hiding and crying in a corner. He is the I am the victim type. I have been in no contact with him since the discard and my life is better than ever. They will never be happy...sad actually
i was with a narc for 3 years and yes, they often plays victim, I feel you.
Yes, many times i feel bad for them, for all they have been through, but whenever he calls me names, i feel hurtful, why would someone who claimed that they love me but calls me names, and many times i just kept quiet, and I tell myself, be more forgiving because i want to believe that they behave how they behabed is becsuse of their upbringing and the environment they are in, its not by choice they behave this way...i left and come back many times...it has been this way, and one fine day, I couldnt take it anymore, the controlling, the manipulation, disrespect, the names calling and all, I take up the courage and tell hkm i am leaving, and tell myself no turning back this time. It hurts though but i know i have to end it.
I was discarded after 24 years out of the blue. Great video. This video has made me feel good. Excellent information Thanks
This video really helps me because my husband of 12 years left 3 weeks ago for his next supply. My head is still spinning because he left so cruel and heartless
Just discovered your channel. Healing from a second trauma bond. I seem to draw these types sadly. 😔 I also suffer from PTSD which he used to his advantage I feel to torment and manipulate me. Thank you for these videos! I think the person I just recently was in a situationship with was quite possibly a vulnerable/covert narcissist as opposed to a grandiose overt narcissist. He did occasionally show the vulnerable side of himself to me, mostly in the beginning during the love bombing. Sometimes sober other times drunk. He told me he was not a happy person and talked about wanting to die in his sleep but refused to acknowledge he needed help. He told me he was emotionally desensitized. He shared vulnerable parts about his past but then blamed me for going down a rabbit trail that led him to remember it. He was always angry, blaming me for things he caused, gaslighting, name calling, stonewalling, devalujng me, withholding sex and affection, push pull dynamics, the whole nine yards. It was the closest thing to torture I've ever been through but I couldn't reach him or help him. I love him but now that its ended I feel sorry for his next victim. I hope she gets out sooner than I did and doesn't try to stay and fix what is long broken. I thought if I loved him enough he would change but I was naive. The trauma bond is real!
This is so right on! I don’t envy the new supply. She knows his nasty side by now.
This video has really helped me. Thank you
Jeg ved Anoushka at de er fulde af løgn disse typer. Og ha en forsat god weekend
I didn’t even have to watch the video to know this.
She lost it all.
She’s going to keep losing until she heals.
While we were together, her parents said to her ‘We told you that you’d find what you want right?’
Wanted everything I wanted. Yeaaaah.
She dipped on everything she said she’s always wanted.
Over a nothing burger.
The most minute argument I’ve ever had.
I can’t say I’m happy about this and in hindsight seeing so many red flags, I got kind of lucky.
It really could’ve been great. - the narcissism.
Thanks again Anoushka. I don't know what my ex narc is doing or seeing. She is silent.
You got this they are worthless
I also think that bcs the narcs are users, that they are not good at what they do - they only tell everybody that they are. They make others do their jobs or help them with it. After that say that they did everything by themsekves and the helpers did nothing - they always turn things around and I think, they do this with everything, talking behind the backs and blackmaling everyone better than them - this is how they get the promotions.
My ex narc put me threw hell ,she always use to say I was a lier and she couldn't trust me yet she never could tell me why or what evedince she had to prove all this ,why she did this is to make me feel bad to plant a seed in my head to use me as an excuse to make her behaviour look ok .yet I always asked her show me proof I'm lying of anything because I new I had not lied about anything and I new I was totally trustworthy,she went so low after we had fell out with the worst insults any body could ever read ,very personal attacks on me to a point that I couldn't believe what I was reading ,my mistake was I let her back in to my life a second time for her only to be exactly the same again ,she as tryed to do and say the worst things ever about me ,but the second time I stood up to her I actually told her based on all your actions and words you have a personality disorder I believe your narcissistic,you can imagine how this went down like a building falling ,they are totally twisted in how they mirror everything back on to you and they will mentally and physically kill you if you let them but I came back strong I totally stud up to her in every sense and she just got worse and actually showed me I was correct in calling her out
Spot on. So very true in many cases..
Yep that’s them all day the flip n get aggressive when you catch them in their lies or on to them or know they up to something so sad they put up a great flaunt they are masters in disguise it’s a real spiritual ware
@@empress9857 so very true 👌
Sadly many narcissists will lose so much good things in there lives because of how they are they don’t love or appreciate good people neither they don’t care only about themselves I was once around a toxic narcissist I realize my life is better off without her she wasn’t good for me I did like her as a friend but it wasn’t enough for her plus she was toxic I couldn’t continue being around someone like that slowly healing from this I was abused by her so I told her to get out of my life you can go I said so yes most narcissists including her will never be happy with anyone or anything else nothing is positive about a narcissist they won’t bring anything good for your life so just keep them out eventually they going to lose everything good so let them be alone where they belong with there miserable self.
Is it that when they come back they will only use you and mess up your life again - just more of what they already did, bcs this is all they know. The people wake up and leave them. This is how they lose their power and end up lonely.
Wow that part about being alone was absolutely spot on. My ex narc gf left me and then gave me the sob story about how she can't be alone. Those demons wanna snatch them up when they're alone.
Most importantly they are not your problem anymore. Let them go and lets live our lives. We deserve love. Tue love ❤
As long as single they are happy
Yes, this sounds just like my neighbor, male who is 78 years old.
Everything is about him. He has many women. And he always says, " She is the love of my life." Or " I am so happy with this new woman." Yes, " We have a good connection. "
Then if these women do not do what he wants, then down the road they go! One by one!
I would never go to be with this man because I know how he talked terrible about every woman he went to bed with.
But I had to have a knee replacement. And I needed to have someone drive me home. So, I drove down to ST. Helena paid for the two beds and meals ect.
And I told him I was getting two beds at the Wellness Center.
And he told me that was fine. And in the meantime, he had his best friends ex-wife in his house because she needed a place to stay.
So the moring of my surgery, he was in his bed, staring at me while I was sleeping! When I woke up, he had been staring at me. How creepy!!!!
But this person tried to lure me in to bed before we had taken this trip, and told him appsultly !
But these people do not take no answer because they think they are entitled to have sex with without marriage!
This man refused to go camping with an ex-girlfriend because she told him she wouldn't go to bed with him.
And yes, this man is all about himself and repeatedly talks about how he taken all the spankings for him and his bothers.
Both parents were medical doctors and lived in a five bedroom five bathroom home in LA. And from the sound of these people were narcissistic parents!
After his parents died, each of the three boys got 2 Million dollars.
This man doesn't want marriage. He feels that marriage is just a piece of paper. But the real reason is: he doesn't want to share his wealth.
On the other hand, the other two bothers have money too, but they ended up married to the same wife for years. They had children and now grown and out of the nest.
These two brothers made more money while this 78 year old continues to isolate himself never commutes rarely talks to his brothers.
I find this very strange.
You cannot cure these people whether are a: covert, classic, and the other narcissistic trate that begins with M.
Yes, I have seen and herd these guy talk sadistic about his women and blame them.
And he says oneghing and changes his story. And make promises and then puts you under the bus!
It doesn't matter if you're a girlfriend or just a friend if you do not do what he wants, the you're get the sadistic comments, gasliging!
And you cannot tell these people that they are a narcissistic because they will not admit it!
But I did because I am not going to put up with an ass hole and have him disrespect me like he has all of his other livein women who got kicked out!
He has his has hi 62 year old live in that has been with him for almost a year, but give it sometime and she too will be out the door.
This man had told me how he talked to his Sargent when he was in yhe army. He told me he he had pulled down his pants and gave him moved him infront of his face. And brakes about one of his ex-girlfriend and told my brother and one of our friends that she gave him good head. This is one of the flags that told me I would never have sex with nor a relationship.
And he wants people to know he has money 💰.
I do not talk to this guy no more! And I know he is going to talk about me like he does every one else.
You cannot help thise kind of people because he will be alone until he dies!
I work with people who have severe substance use disorders…that work reinforces everything Anoushka is saying in this and other videos. Narcissists will always self destruct 100% of the time, I just see the ones who do it with drugs and alcohol. They think they have power/control over their addiction but they never do. I have seen some of the most narcissistic people be homeless and very sick but they still think they can control the people in their life. I do not enjoy this at all. In fact, seeing people so committed to their delusions and magical thinking is really frustrating. I would go so far as to say that narcissism is 100% fatal and it’s a long, slow, death.
@@ericjackson-nq4hp I couldn’t agree more with your comment. To be clear, I’m only saying that I encounter narcissistic people in my job but not all people who have addictions are narcissists. Addiction is just one path to their undoing. I have very strong opinions about the failure rate of substance abuse treatment in America but I’ll spare you. Let’s just say that for profit companies don’t like to lose customers and a lot of treatment facilities are run by for profit entities.
My husband of 12 years has backslid into drinking 7 nights a week and has left for the secretary from his work. . He's definitely in self destruction mode
I think that you are wonderful for helping people who have or are going through narcissist abuse!..
Not too many people know about narcissist I live in Tennessee and my husband who is a narcissist 😢 he discarded me going on 9 years ago... We were together for 16 years and I never knew about narcissist until it was too late... So girl's his name is Bobby Ray Adams and he lives in Texas he has a band called b Ray and the humans and Bob off the square?
No one knows him the real Bobby he lives in grand Berry Texas. I think I spelled that right? Anyway I have been battling him with a divorce and he has filed the divorce papers on the computer and wants me to sign something that I can't see all that is in the divorce papers....
We had talked about what he was to have and I was to have he got his part and he said that he would pay for the storage that my things were and my car because I was so sick and couldn't drive myself back to Tennessee this is where my boys and their families live.... My oldest son is a narcissist also I just found out and it has been devastating.... After what Bobby put me through with narcissist abuse...
He never brought my car and things to me he already had this young girl lined up and they were going to get married but she left him
She doesn't know what a blessing it was to not marry him I am happy for her because this narcissist abuse has been the worst thing I have ever been through..
I have PTSD and depression and anxiety and have so many other things physically wrong with me...
I feel like my heart and myself will never be the same
The metal toll has been beyond overwhelming
And just to think that the whole time I was married to him and me loving him more than myself and just knowing that his love for me was a lie The whole thing was nothing but a lie ... How messed up that I get up thinking about him and loving the one that was good to me only if I went alone with everything he wanted... I never got any emotional support from him when I was the one who was trying everything to support him and it was never enough I am still exhausted and sick from the abuse....
None of my family will support me I am in this alone well I have all of you because you get it you have been through this and you know what I am feeling as far as the hurt and pain 😢... The flashbacks from the abuse doesn't help any and I don't know how to just move on? But I know that I have to and I want to but having depression from him has made it even harder!!!
I don't think that they are any words describeing how hard this has been!!!! I hurt beyond any words could say
I can't afford to get any narcissist abuse help....
I just feel stuck....
If anyone knows him please just know that he isn't who he claims to be!!! He is a narcissist and my sister said that she read on Facebook that some women said that everyone needed some of Bobby Ray if they only knew.... Is it normal to want to uncover him ? He plays music at the bars and at a cowboy church he lives for attention that's what it is all about right? How shocking this has been!!!! I lost myself loving someone who was trying to destroy me and didn't have a clue! I have always known that something wasn't right but I didn't know what? But now I know and I try so hard working on trying to figure out who I am right now I just feel like a empty shell....
I am sure that you all get it...
I hurt with my whole being!!!
I am 60 years old and so is he but he thinks I guess that he is in his 30's just sharing this makes me feel sick to my stomach like I want to throw up because of the damage it has done to my health...
We know a lot of people who live here in Tennessee we whet to church my love for the lord is real and he fakes himself and everyone loves him and thinks he can do no wrong but I don't go around any of these people because he has told so many lies on me and had this way of making them think that I am the crazy one....
But I know that I am so blessed that he discarded me because also I didn't have any thing left in me too give to him. He has and had drained everything that was in me too give...
I have been through enough for 9 women I have been through a lot of death s and that is what it had and still does is feel like I am going through a death it actually feels worse than a death.... I am sure that you all understand that feeling...
Please know that I am praying for you all !!! As I do for myself!!!! I have been abused as a child by my narcissist stepmother.. I never got to know my real mother before she passed away and after my mother had passed my stepmother told me that I could go on in and see my mom.... My dad passed away when I was 14 years old
They are just not enough words of explaining how broken 💔 I am...
Love and prayers to all of you beautiful people who have been through narcissist abuse I!....
How can anyone be happy. When they treat their spouse with abuse, Neglect and disrespect. And all for no reason.
Action, they aren't ever happy! They're pitiful, negative, destructive, sadistic and that is what they're never happy!
Great and informative as ever. My Narc, well a peice of work she turned out to be, left her husband who had just retired, with 3 tiny kids, because she was 'bored' for some flash twerp at her place of work. Of course Flash Harry wasn't committed to her, since then random relationship to relationship, in the space 5 or 6 years, leaving a scorched earth shell behind every time. Utterly neurotic, emotionally unstable, immature, profligate with money, grandious, taking oofence at any minor interpretation of criticism....wow, how miserable is her life
Thanks Heavens for loosing everything because reaching out to Nothing is where the Magic starts to happen. Where you use your LifeForce to be where you want to be with whom you will meet later on that Field of Energy, Frequency and Healing Space that will align to your Frequency. Trust the Process.
Thank you for sharing.
Yes, for me it’s a spiritual battle.
Material possessions or sanity.
I’m just going to have to leave everything and go.
It’s a leap of faith ❤
@@nickieglazer33 some people think that both the material and the spiritual cannot be achieved. But what about trying 50/50? Some say that in this planet is not possible and in other planets yes ..I don't know. Is best to grow veggies in the garden and find a way to live without being tied to the system.
Soooo true. The day after I told the ex narc it was over for good, he was on a dating website and found someone else. He put all their calls and the rest of his harem on speakerphone so I could hear it all. He told me the new woman was THE ONE, he had opportunities he never thought he could ever have, he was going to go all out for her. I heard him tell her that he never felt that way since his first wife (he had 3)…..all the same rubbish he told me a year earlier. 2 weeks Before I moved out, he said something to upset her (what a surprise) and she wanted time out, he was back on the website the night after and had 3 under his belt, however they all dumped him without meeting him.
I’m hoping she stayed away, but he had to get a mortgage and sell stocks and shares to buy me out (6 months after we bought the house) so he’s 10s of £1000s out of pocket. The one before me that bought a house with him also left and he had to get a mortgage, so he’s back to square one yet again but with a bigger house with 2 empty rooms now since I took my furniture with me.
He was mortgage free with both of us and the one prior who also bought a house and left him. Never bloody learns. He’ll be looking for the next one and that will blow up in his face too.
They are on self (and whomever else are in their lives) destruct.
The false-self must be protected at ALL costs. They deny reality.
Posted 35 seconds ago .. that's a fresh video!!
Thank you for nailing this i now under stand this person he totally had me confused 😕 but i had to leave
Came here to check if I am a narcissist or not ..... very informative video
Can you do a video on trauma and trapped life energy and how to release it.
Thanks for this message. It is so rewarding finding an outcome to a problem that was very significant in my life. I am content at where I am now. God bless you. ❤
Thank you for your ongoing perspective. may all be well
Grattitude Annoushka. Your wisdom and explanation helps a lot.
The silver lining: also the most painful: his betrayal. His new partner/ supply will most definitely won’t be accepted. So inappropriate and sinister that the relationship will end before it begins and the supply will absolutely suffer. Which painfully, I never hurt her. I never did anything to her. Yet she showed me only jealousy, lies and manipulation.She took of her mask too. She betrayed me too. She called upon herself to lie to the Narc about me and desire to steal from me: mind, body and soul.
They will implode and it will be painful and I really don’t care… almost.. anymore.
I let them go. They are free from me.
I want to see the live stream.
Thank you Annouahka for sharing
It seems to be about ‘letting go’ from unhealthy attachments and embracing freedom.
Everything always under their control until life happens...... We have a funeral to go to which ends up being the Narcs cousin and he can't do anything about it since my husband is in the Church Choir!!!!!!
😂😂😂
This is one of your best videos thank you so much !
So very true yall need to hear this
Totally true They are enotionally inmature. There is nothing with the passing of time and use increases in value. She is old and used. She is not happy because of the black hole un her soul . T
Unfortunately all you are saying is true. They are not content. They are not happy. They are not grateful. No stability. A shaky ground for us to stand on. They will end up as loosers. Too bad, cos we really deeply loved them or what we thought they were. Ty
Great video! Your explanation makes total sense to me. The words you used to describe it were very helpful, keep it up 👍🏽 I appreciate you ❤️💯⭐️💫
Their "best life" is filled with hate, fear and insecurity.
Yep that’s why the narc Ik went so hard on her crafts and looks to make her appear to be shiny ✨ to lure our asses in theh going all out during the 1st toggle us n the ex n whoever else then once they end they fall back and expect you to be a chef Cinderella do what they say watch tv only when they want to it’s definitely a mental n physical cage I’m free spirited nahhh couldn’t do on top of the ex giving me the 🍵 that I sipped 2 days later here comes the Disgard because I wanted to go sleep in my own spot n think things thru homegirl twisted it saying I was jelly as she says about all her frds sibs mtr/dad even strangers I’m jelly a hater a cheater n a demon because I asked why she was in a rush she could have dropped off my hair she made it seem like I was cramping her style or some sht tf.. not even I wasn’t feeling the vibe period after sipping tea 🍵 from the ex sht I’m straight so she in turn discarded me and had the nerve a few days later to say I made her angry for defending her lies about me to the ex 😂 the blameshifting is horrible Chile I stood up for myself and said you called me stingy correct the narc oh I never said that my defense I said I take care of my self my bills my hair nails xyz maintence hmgrl said we both was talking about her n called her broke I never said that I told the ex she talks about everyone Including me the narc oh you said I talk about everyone I said you do the world and me too she was pissed that I sip the so called crazy ex that’s doing her but also messy proof that the narc been in contact thank you god for the revelation whtr tne narc with ha or someone else i over stayed long enuff shouldn’t even gave it a second shot but for the sake of flake scam as love that I realize that’s all it was …
I knew she was a little off in the beginning.
I knew she was mean.
I had a messes up childhood so I could handle her nonsense.
I didn't know she was sleeping with random men until last year.
That's when I learned what a narcissist was.
She is gone.
I've exposed her.
She is no longer traveling a rigging shows with me or any company.
She also developed a secret cocaine habit.
But shames ppl for abusing drugs.
Funny.
Hypocrite 😊😂😂😂
same story as me. wow. i left her just after i found out she was hoering
Yep they are true hypocrites-everything they criticize other people for doing and being THEY are
@@saraliburd7752 YESSSS!!! I learned this the hard way! But everything makes sense now.
Damn
They sure like cocaine lol
Mine tried to hoover after a sudden discard. When I looked back at our marriage, he’d never done anything to make it better. I might have already showed him that it wouldn’t work if I just keep self soothing myself. He honestly told me that he’d never change, so what’s the point for a rekindle? What’s the meaning of the hoover, right? My door is locked. I really don’t want to live with an unhappy person anymore (2 literally, and his overt narc mum). I can’t fix him indeed if he doesn’t think he’s the problem.
My Ex gf is 51, never married. She is very beautiful. She told me she has always been the Side Chick. I told her that stops NOW. I was with her 17 months. She ❤bombed me about 2 mos, then the next 15 it was touch & go. I knew she was Bipolar & blamed her actions on her illness. I learned everything I could about the illness & tried to apply what I learned to help her manage it. She set me FREE 6 mos ago. I discovered Bipolar normally overlap with Narc traits. Man!! Only thing missing is her picture. Now I know y she has always been a Side CHICK!! Best of luck for her. I'm journaling, Therapy, PEP talks in mirror, Tons of research, giving myself the ❤ I gave to her. Just me & my German Shepherd Dog.
The narc n her mtr herself confirms she is bi polar howeber the narc says she has severe anxiety n depression nah it’s the bi polar.. crazy because she planted a roomer when I 1st got around her saying my folks mention I was no polar tf I’ve never heard that as they say the narcs always reveal themselves thru 3rd parties…
My x is living his nightmare. It’s hilarious.
Same here, he definitely saddled the wrong horse with the new woman. I know it is wrong to enjoy other people's troubles, but I find his situation hilarious🌹
Thank you Anoushka, you really opened up my eyes 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
In the past few days my narcissist ex has messaged many people to have a ‘debate’ with him over languages, linguistics and spirituality (lol), and very aggressively so. And in these past few days he has also been fighting with me non stop trying to make me feel guilty (even though relation is over for a good two months and he was the one that left), I’ve been teying to get him off my back but have some projects tied with him, so decided to block him and ask him to correspond only on Email threads. I don’t know why he wants me to feel guilty now about not being good enough when he left me lol I mean the deed is done why break heads over it now.
😂😂 that’s them all day
I don't know how you can't feel a tremendous amount of sadness and compassion for someone who is dealing with this trauma, I mean the narcissist. We who have been hurt by them can recover, but the narcissist seems to have so little hope for recovery. Is doing nothing, showing no compassion towards them, really the only answer? What would St. Francis of Assisi do when confronted by such a person? It seems like we should try to steer them into therapy in hopes of obtaining some relief from their never ending misery. That is the dilemma I am confronting right now.
Love your videos,especially the background music at the intro,thanks for your advice,watching from San Antonio Texas USA
How is it possible that a narcissist can turn close friends and colleagues against you? And don’t tell me that ”they where never your friends to begin with”. There is some devilish intelligence behind such manipulative skills….
At holm, everything they do is one great big masquerade! From start to finish. Masters at deception and illusion! I believe they're 'fallen angels', pure evil. Devoid of empathy, and without empathy and with their sadistic behaviour they are 'from the devil'! Can't be anything else! They make a mockery of Christians and Christianity by attending church, and at the same time telling you they are going to hell in the afterlife! Their hell is here on earth too where they try to make life for everyone they pretend to like 'a hell on earth'. I believe this, because many people have had trauma in their lives and still end up being empathetic!
i have been deaded by the narcissit, which is very painful, , the person i knew doesn't exist any more, its terrible.
This has been exactly what my wife has done. The closer I got to knowing the real her, the angrier she became with me. She has said often "when im with you i feel the weight of the world on my shoulders!" I felt like inwas the problem, but ive learned the real problem is deep within her. She cant own the guilt and shame she brought upon herself with all of the lies, cheating, and cruelty to me. It has to always be my fault, no matter what it is she did. She found a new supply and moved on. Telling me i needed to do the same. But the she played this game with where i was left saying "she loves me, she loves me not" for almost 4 years!
Wow this is exactly what happened to me brother !! Married and with her for 12 years and I was the problem the weight of the world on her shoulders
The covert narc just disappears
Until he was dying, I sensed his frustration and desperation in our , last phone conversation. I did not know he was dying buy boy did I noticed something odd! He passed 30 days later
How did he die? What did he die of?
At what age he died?
Good. It's the only cure.
@@lauradelregno99, brain tumor and had had G Syndrome. Age 54
@@DD-gf3jf 54
I have only been talking to this person for about 3 months over the Internet, not much conversing. He has been vulnerable, does not pretend he is happy when he is not, but does try to manipulate me on many levels. He has had some education on his disorder, obviously, but does not complete the program. I have never had this type of situation, never given the kind of support I have for this particular person. I wish him well, and will never say or do anything that will hurt him to others or that will hurt him, personally.
Thank you so much for this, it really helped.
Found out he divorced the new supply who he tried to take all her money. And now he back to running his circle of of old supply. Funny we knew each other. And know he starts this over. This is so true. 9:27
Well spoken❤
I have watched you for 6 years. my ex made me feel like a narcissist .This video has hit me in my soul. This describes him perfectly.Thank you
Same here 😮
What we do in life echoes in eternity.
I be with a narcissistic person for a year. I expose her and tell her she is a narcissistic person but I can’t get her to leave me. I broke up with her 1 month ago and she keep coming back every day, she is so abusive , aggressive, treating me all the time I don’t know what to do? She is following me in every bar I’m going, making a scene when I be talking to different woman, she don’t care. She is so a psycho danger person. She broke my balcony door just to check who I’m with. I really don’t know what to do
@ Velimir knezevic
Document everything and report her to the police.
Get a restraining order and go no contact.
I'm so sorry to hear what you are going through. It is a good idea to get proof of her behaviour, don't hesitate to phone the police when she is following you, breaking into your place or making a scene somewhere. She is basically looking for any kind of attention from you, but she sounds like she may be dangerous too. I really hope it works out and that things get better for you🌹🌹
Call the cops take her to court - take out an order of protection against her
This describes the ex-wife PERFECTLY.
Narc will loss because they get old and supply is getting hard to get .
thnx
The new supply is harassing me emotionally now after 2years. What to do?
Note-she has been stalking me lately on social media. she wants me to delete a pic which i uploaded on ig many years ago. Thats a normal pic of just me which shows only a shoulder which she thinks to be the narcissist's (now her husband) this lead to a lot of fight between me and the new supply over txt. She is forcing me to delete the pic and calling me names what not. Should i do what she says or ignore. Please help me and suggest what i should do. Tired of this drama.
No contact - block that psycho
Disengage & silence ❤
This lady real knows her stuff wish I could date a clever woman like this, she have my interest all the time 😊
I like this video. It should be in the "aging narcissist file" sss. Cause age is the equalizer.
My ex has a tbi... We have a child together... So its a narcissist on meth that I'm dealing with.
Mine was a drunk and a coke addict. Stuck with her through it all. All for her to come out healed.. then she cheated on me...lied to me..and discarded me like a dirty rubber.
Such agreat feeling being used to no end.. and if fact.. that you NEVER Matterd to her ..not one bit.
I gave everything i had to her and her son.
5 years. Gone. Family gone..dog gone.
No goodbye.. no thanks..no nothing. Just gone.
Can I ask you? I’m 45. Been a loner my entire life. I’ve always just did me. Met my ex 8 yrs ago. Got divorced 2yrs ago. Holding on to breadcrumbs since. In the hopes we were gonna get back together. My mind isn’t registering what has happened. I refuse to accept it.
8 yrs of living for my wife and kids. She separated me from the boys. Left me. And now, at 45 I feel so alone and isolated. I’ve never had a problem being alone before I met her. All of you great people say narcissists can’t stand being alone. Am I the narcissist? It’s all just making me crazy. Trying to understand my trauma bond. Accepting what has happened. Therapy. But she’s instilled into me, that everything was my fault. I’m trying to convince my logical mind that I’ve been duped, but I won’t acknowledge it. Why is this happening? How does it happen?
mine getting old he will be 79 shortly he looks very old,,, I left this time
Loosers deserve to lose ❤😂 you🎉
I made him get vulnerable.. can u image the punishment I went through . I pulled off the mask .. never a good idea . Walking away is best
Same. In a way I’m glad I did but it was a high price to pay.
But some cases, You are FORCED to take off their mask... because of their crazy makings, your normal brain trying to figure out... I am actually GLAD I took mask off, I KNOW who he is FULLY which was important for my healing. He KNOWS there is absolutely no chance for Hoover because of that, and I am SOOO GLAD!
@@dididisun I took the mask off in hopes he would see the situation and change and forgive himself . But true that’s the reason I am not getting hovered now as well , and the choice I made to be done .
Anoushka I have this even after no contact and wonder if you can comment on this and if others go thru this also/ I don't want the narcist but I find deep in my sub conscious battle when i go there the battle goes on My mind has to constantly battle the narcist with truth to the fake news it confronts mw with. How does this happen? TY
Will they start looking older? Mine has after I started ignoring him. He says Im ruining him mentally. He has mirrored me and this night I dreamt he was dating another girl too. Im over with him. Im not texting him and we were going to spain together but Im not taking his calls if he call or texts I will ignore him.
He’s currently failing his masters. I’m winning, a natural born winner.
How do I get a one to one with Anouska?I would love to talk about my ex I have a lot of questions.
Well my covert doesn’t pretend that their life is good, when back with the old supplies yes, but the act is their life is bad and everyone treats them like dirt.. I’ve noticed that every relationship ended in fire, almost literally, when I pointed that out, the stories of her past stopped…. She basks in the chaos of it, loved to be the pinnacle of the fight…. So that being said, her old supply is never the supply, they are being kept because they don’t have better, they fight for her because they can do no better…. I couldn’t figure it out but I did, it’s always the chaos, I’m elevating myself from the round Robin, if theory is correct, she will burn them down too, that’s my agenda lol… she can’t leave she has to have someone fighting for her in the realm of sympathy, so she will villanize them… at no point has she ever left with glory…. It’s that wanting feeling, to create supply out of want and sympathy… that’s a very hard thing to change, so just don’t fight it, but most importantly, don’t fight for them…. He’ll fight for someone else in front of them lol..
Is this the same with their job - do they make a mess there too ?
How can I get your help