Hi Hannah, I'm a midwife-to-be and also have Crohn's disease and am proud owner of a stoma too. Yay. Well, I'm pretty "bummed" out too about all the research that's not taking place. So I kind of have in mind to write my bachelor's thesis about stoma patients who get pregnant and how they give birth and what there questions are beforehand. Stuff like that. Maybe you want to get together about that and work out some idea. Would be sooooo cool!
ANSCHIIIII, yes! Go girl! Ich wollt dir das Video am Freitag zeigen haha Ich hoff du bist jetzt eh die Anschi, die ich mein ;) And the bachelor's thesis is such a great idea!!
I wish more research was done on people with stomas. It would also have an added bonus of giving a lot of info on what the colon does and doesn't do if scientists study people without them. For instance, there seems to be a higher rate of women with hormonal issues whom have ileostomies and no colon and I feel this is because the hepatic portal vein is cauterized and this vein is key in hormonal health. This vein allows excess hormones and toxins to be shuttled to the colon for elimination. Since this is cauterized, these things get reabsorbed more so than eliminated due to the vein not going to the colon. Also, things like immune health, gut Flora, sibo, mental health (serotonin in the gut), nutrients (b vitamins), etc
There is a stigma about having kids 'young' -- BUT like under 20 young. And frankly, you seem leveled head, financially secure, and extremely intelligent. So like, who cares what others say about what you do or don't do. Society judges everything and everyone
Depends on the culture - which varies even within cities. Within wealthier circles in the UK, having a baby under 30 is young. Its "sacrificing" your career. In other circles, it is very common for women to be pregnant in their early twenties, particularly those who dropped out of school at 16
Would definitely like to see the J-Pouch vs permanent stoma video. I'll support you no matter what decisions you make. I know that doesn't mean much but I think a lot of your viewers feel the same.
ElderMillenial I oped for the permanent J pouch and never regretted it for 1 second , I now have two teenage kids and these surgical procedures were done when the were done when they were very young also due to ulcerative colitis
I’ve had two pregnancies with my jpouch. I didn’t have any issues. I did have c-sections with both, trying to avoid fistulas. It didn’t work. I got a fistula
You're financially stable, in a committed relationship, and a permanent home with your partner- I'd say anyone that judges you for having kids at your age needs to mind their own business 🤗
I was told my ileostomy would leave me infertile. I've had my stoma just over 2 years now and I gave birth to my daughter 12 weeks ago. No problems with my stoma all through my pregnancy and I delivered her naturally
This was a really emotional watch for me. I'm 21, had my stoma formed at 19 and had to have my rectum removed due to continuing severe UC this summer. I've always wanted children and I was 20 when I found out that more surgery would reduce my chances of pregnancy but I also knew I needed surgery soon. I spent just under a year, between realising I should probably 'get a move on' (as you put it) and my deadline of surgery, trying to get pregnant. I also found that 'having an excuse' to be pregnant so young was helpful and my mum even said she would support me 100%. Unfortunately, I didn't get pregnant, and when I had my surgery my surgeon said that my rectum was so inflamed it had stuck itself to my vagina!! My boyfriend and I are still hoping we can have kids 'naturally' but I'm facing the prospect of IVF now. I hope this wasn't too much of an overshare but what you said really resonated. Sometimes our bodies just f***ing suck.
I decided I didn’t want kids, due to complications from chronic illness, and got my tubes tied at 29, so definitely don’t think you’re silly for deciding you DO want kids before 30!
nothing more feminist to me than a woman making informed decisions about her life, health, and body in order to live her best, most fulfilled life :') rock on hannah i love how you handle everything that comes your way lol thank you for sharing with us
Having kids in your late 20s is not having them young in my opinion. Being a feminist means that you get to be empowered to make the choice of when or if you want to bear children. Having a kid at 23 or 25 or 27 or whenever is not "silly" especially if you do it intentionally and with purpose. Eff the opinions of others.
Heartily agree with your overall sentiment but to be fair, since the average age of a woman giving birth to her first child in the UK is now north of 30, technically the late 20s would qualify as young. (I believe the term “young mother” officially tends to refer to mothers between 18 and 25, though.)
I’ve had a stoma for nearly three years and I’ve never been told about my higher risk for rectal cancer. This video has definitely given me a list of questions to ask my consultant at my next appointment!
"You can't potty train the kids, you don't know how to poo." 😂😂😂😂 that was good On another note, this is all so interesting! I don't have a disability but I like learning about all of this stuff, things I wouldn't typically think of. Thanks for sharing, and good luck with your journey!
I'm pretty sure they mean 'presents' as in she had an interestingly shaped bump. I know the 'society will judge you regardless' feeling so well, it makes sense that there's a weight off because the doctors have said sooner is ok/preferable.
Hi Hannah, I have severe endometriosis and I was told by my doctors that I had 6 months after surgery to remove scar tissue and blockages etc to try for children (up to then unsuccessful trying). I was 28. I was told if I was not pregnant within those 6 months I was likely never going to have children naturally and would require medical intervention. I somehow miraculously got pregnant naturally and now have 10 month old TWINS! I was 29 they were born. I also secretly enjoyed the idea I was medically advised to have them because I felt people would think I was too young. I felt young but there’s nothing like children to make you realise how old you actually feel. F the stigma. Have them babies 👶🏼 you go girl x
Hey Hannah, Last week I found out that I'm pregnant after 9 months of trying. Then she told me that we're having twins which came as a great shock because I never expected this to happen. Twins just don't run in my family. So once you decide to have a baby, be prepared for a great surprise and consult with your doctors beforehand. Just in case...
Could be he also meant how the baby presented at birth (breach, face up), since he mentioned the baby not being able to move around as much, and the baby moves into "head down, face down(toward mums bottom)" from being head up during the first 2 trimesters.
I'm 23 and due my baby in nine weeks, I don't think theres anything wrong with your age. Being a young parent isnt as taboo as it used to be, so I wouldn't mind what people think.
Back when my mom was pregnant with my older sister it was weird and she already considered old because she was 27. Then she was considered ancient when she was pregnant with my older brother at 34 and I probably basically dead when she had me at 41. Back them having your kids barely out of school was more normal than waiting a bit, these days it's more normal to have them in your late 20s or even sometime in your 30s and that is just 27 years after I was born. Really weird how this shift happened where suddenly people like you are considered the weird ones. I honestly believe that the right age to have kids is different for every person. For one 19 would be too young while it's completely fine for the next person. Some people are only ready when they are 40. I believe in letting people making those choices for themselves.
I feel like being an "older" mother is more taboo than being a young one. They call pregnant women geriatric mothers at 35! Society is to judgmental. Too old, too young... Let's just make our own decisions and not worry about other people. 😉
I don't have a stoma but I'm currently pregnant at 27. I started my job only 1.5 years ago so still very new to the whole career thing. I wanted and now have a master's degree in engineering but I also always wanted kids. I think it depends on how you manage kids and career. I'm from Germany and we have this wonderful opportunity to take up to 14 months of paid parental leave. So I'm off the first six months and then my partner takes the other eight. With maternity leave before the birth we both take equal time off of work. So even if we just started our careers, me and my partner share the load. A lot of men in Germany don't take time off to care for their children because it will "ruin" their career. Womens careers suffer eaually but in a twisted way it is expected of them to sacrifice the career over children. I think that this is the real problem here. The feminist thing would be to say either parent can care for the kids how and how long they want and that taking care of children isn't only restricted to mothers. Hope that wasn't too off topic but the issue really annoys me these days.
Me too, now that you mentioned it, I think I follow (on tw) a group(?) advocating for more fathers taking parental leave . UK based if I recall it properly. Didn't see any post recently as I rarely open twitter these days, but yeah, that needs to be advocated, popularised a lot more. Worldwide. It's beneficial to everyone involved...
Not to discount your cause because I do think paternity leave is vastly underrated, but I live in the USA so I'm still in absolute shock about the parental leave amount!! Holy crap!!! My job literally offered 0 days maternity leave. ZERO!! Technically they say they can cover your shift for a few days while you recover but it's not paid unless you take vacation days (which is very limited). I basically had to quit when I got pregnant. And this is not considered a crappy job either. I literally can not fathom 14 months.
@@littlemissbekah9722 I have family in the US and it baffles me how people afford to have children at all. First of all no paid leave and on top of that no universal health care system. The system in Germany is far from perfect if you compare it to Scandinavian countries, but the US is just ridiculous. In addition birth control and abortions are harder to get so it's the epiphany of a misogynistic system that often doesn't even give you the option to decide to have a baby. And if you have it, good luck on your own. This makes me so angry and sad!
@@littlemissbekah9722 I'm always in shock when I see how little maternity rights there are in the USA, it's so sad. I see so many women on breastfeeding groups saying they need to go back to work at 3 or 6 weeks and couldn't even imagine it, I could barely function that early on. In the UK you are given the option for shared parental leave but as I was breastfeeding and honestly being a little selfish I took the whole year for myself. This meant I did 95% of the childcare but I got to spend a total of 14 months with my daughter as you accrue leave whilst you are off and I took it at the end.
Hannah- I totally relate to this feeling of being "too young" to have kids!! I've also always known I want kids before 30 and I completely understand how having a medical "excuse" would make you feel better about doing something you privately have always wanted to do anyways. I also feel this way about ultimately wanting to be a stay at home mom when I raise children. We gotta fight the judgement! You do you!
Exactly this, it is that simple really. Above the mid 40s and below 17 or 18 the medical risks are arguably not worth it, but between those confines, there are pros and cons to every single age. Social outcomes a little better for mothers north of 30, medical outcomes better for women between the early and late 20s. There are pros career-wise to having children very young and “getting it out of the way”, there are pros to having them later after getting a career established. It really is a case of what works for you, and arguably by aiming for the late 20s you’re getting some of the benefits of both doing it early and slightly delaying it, if you see what I mean. It’s young, but not young enough that the cons of having children *super* young apply.
Feminism means also respecting every women's choices and supporting them! It is definitely not "unfeminist" of you if you decide to have children "early", it is just the way you want it and it's your right to decide.
You’re my representation, I’m going through something with my sacrum, coccyx and rectum and watching this relieves my surgery anticipation anxiety. Thanks Hannah ❤️
It isn’t hogwash. We had a plan to discuss “when we have children” at 30. Despite two forms of birth control I became pregnant at 26. The second youngest woman in my prenatal class was a teenager. We were both treated like we were idiots. Since we had no 1, we had number 2 in a few years. That said, my chronic health issues went nuts at 33. If I had not had them before 30, I don’t know if I would have been able to do it. It all worked out, you see. So just do whatever works best for you.
Yes exactly. I had my first son at 22, nothing strange about that. He was very much wanted, we felt ready to start a family. I actually want to be DONE having kids before 30. People will judge, they always do so go with whatever feels right to you.
My biggest thing is knowledge is power. And I sincerely appreciate the way that you educate and speak so honestly. I have Cerebral Palsy and am super passionate about adults - especially women, vitally need greater access to proper education on how other areas of your life are affected when you have disabilities and chronic illnesses. The internet can be great but can also provide so much false information and anxiety.
hannah i want to compliment you on the language you used throughout this video. usually i can't even listen to others talking about pregnancy (touchy subject for me) but the way you talked about it made me feel at ease. thank you. keep being you, cause you're awesome!!!
I was diagnosed with severe UC at 18, a few months later had a colectomy and then a year later had a j-pouch created. My surgeries were all laparoscopic which I was told would decrease the risk of scar tissue forming. At the time I didn’t really consider the fertility aspect as I knew I wouldn’t be having kids for a while and I was keen to get rid of my stoma. Pre surgery I was also on medications that I was told *may* impact my fertility. Now at 25 I’m pretty concerned about my ability to have kids in the future, however my colorectal surgeon has reassured me that it is still possible. He also strongly recommended a c-section to preserve sphincter function as j-pouchers that have vaginal births apparently have a higher risk of incontinence. Thanks so much for sharing your journey, I’ll be following along :)
I am originally from Midwest America and soon I will be turning 29. Everyone wants to know when I'll be having kids and why I haven't yet. My friends have all already had kids. I don't know if I want them. I guess my point is that in some regions having kids before you're 30 is what IS expected.
Hi Hannah, I totally know what you mean about being almost happy to have a medical excuse for your womb decisions; I knew from a young age that I wanted a child but wanted to adopt and did NOT want to give birth; people were like settle down you will want to will you’re older but I never did. Well, joke was on them, endometriosis and PCOS at 17, infertility at 21, and a total hysterectomy at 34! 😆 Also, that was the year I adopted my then 5 year old son from foster care. ❤️
Don’t do that to yourself! Don’t let what other people think of you stop you from living you’re life. I’m 22 and having my first child in February! I knew I wanted to have kids young but I didn’t think I would be THIS young! Of course I’m scared of what people think about me and say about me but I love my fiancé and I am okay with figuring things out as we go!
Hannah, before i even get past the intro, I have to comment that you look absolutely glowing and gorgeous in this video!! (You do always but this one in particular!) your makeup is beautiful xx
I would certainly like to see you make a video about your decision-making process for your further surgery options. I really appreciate your stoma/IBD/disability content ❤️
I just have to say you seem very positive person. It takes a lot of courage to talk about these things potentially for hundreds of thousands of people. I watched (or tried to) the video you made after the first surgeon and I'm really amazed how you can just tell about these things like that. I'm not very sensitive guy, I've seen all kind of crap on the internet, some really disgusting stuff and all but I just couldn't listen the story to the end. After the part of "crapping just blood" I had to stop.. Okay it's not the end of the world to have a stoma or go through all that, but I don't know could I just 'get over it' as fast as you. Or at all. You are incredibly strong person. My 'two cents' into the getting kids matter: If you want kids and you are in a good relationship and can afford it: Go for it. No matter the age. If you don't want kids: You don't have to. Age doesn't matter on this case either. Society doesn't care about individuals or their wishes, so you will have much more pleasant life if you do what you want, not what other people want you to do. I know many people who've got kids in their early (or late) twenties. And I also know people who've decided they don't want kids, ever. I think nobody else have a right to say yes or no about the matter but the person's whose life it affects.
I totally get that you feel relieved that you have a medical reason for having kids "early". Like you said, society is so judemental. I don't think your late 20's are late. Maybe it's just where I'm from and the people I know (I'm 25 and live in Sweden) but I have several friends my age and younger having kids now and no one thinks it's too early. I'm single now but when I was in a long term relationship (I was 21-24) people asked me about if we were planning to have kids. I want to wait until I'm 30, if I decide to have kids at all, and people around me seem to think that's weird or a bit late... So you do you, there's always going to be people that think you're doing it wrong anyway. Interesting video!
Bearing down/pushing like you would do to give birth is not the same as Kegels. In fact it is the opposite because you are using your abdominal muscles to push downward, whereas Kegels involve lifting up/in with your pelvic floor muscles. Thank you for being so open as always and sharing what you are going through with all of us!
I have ulcerative colitis and now have an ileostomy I got pregnant 6 months after the surgery to get my stoma and just gave birth to my beautiful healthy baby girl this month! I blogged about my pregnancy journey and about what it was like with my stoma. I mostly did this through Instagram my username is Piglet Chronicles. If you or anyone else has questions about pregnancy or anything stoma related im your girl :) thanks so much hannah for doing this video so glad women are starting to talk about this more openly!!! I am actually in the same exact situation health wise as well. I too have a temporary stoma in place and need to have my rectum removed as i have developed Diversion Colitis in my rectum. I was not planning to have a child until 2 years after my wedding but my body had other plans. The ostomy surgery was suppose to relieve my UC symptoms but it didn't work entirely because i still have active disease in my rectum with no response to medication my only option was to remove the rectum in order to find relief. My husband and I then decided we would have a baby sooner than later in case my active disease got worse. So I waited the 6 months after my ileo surgery and was fortunate enough to get pregnant right away.
Anyone with a stoma can get pregnant (as long as there are no fertility issues). However usually other circumstances medically can prevent you from being able to get pregnant or it is not advisable. The biggest reasons are medications (many medications can not be used during pregnancy) and other health conditions. For me personally I have an ileostomy and central line and two feeding tubes, I also have a rare genetic disease with a double type combination one of those types being vascular. My disease if you have it you have a 50% chance of passing it on to your child. Because of my condition, how severe my issues are, and the comorbid issues I have as well as some other unrelated conditions having a child biologically is completely out of the question for me. It would kill me or the potential child or both. And at the minimum it would cause severe disease progression. So while the answer is technically yes there are so many considerations to think about.
Late twenties, successful career, long-term partner, if by society standards you shouldn't be having kids yet, or your 'too young' or not ready etc etc, then no one can have kids ever xD I know a lot of women seem to be having kids later, but there is no shame in loving children and wanting to be a mum before the age of 30, or hell, 25 years old. My best friend just had her little girl at 23, she's still in the middle of her master's degree, her partner is barely into his career, but goddamn the amount of love showered on that baby is incredible.
I get the research in women’s health thing. I’ve had vulvodynia for over 18 months now and it’s just like ‘we have no idea why sex is suddenly excruciating for you and might be for the rest of your life... want to try some anti convulsants? Or maybe just chop that area out?’ And that’s if you’re speaking to a specialist who is actually willing to acknowledge the condition exists and not label you a hysterical young woman. I haven’t had much luck so far. And I really wanted a child young and beat myself up about it for ages! In the end, I gave in and had my baby a few months before turning 23 and don’t regret it. No one was judgemental and I’m sure anyone who was would get over it very quickly once your child was here. I will say that pregnancy is very hard on your body. I thought I knew that going in but I was shocked by it! A year later and I still can’t exercise the way I used to due to separated abdominal muscles (and the vulvodynia actually started in the second trimester so who knows if that was hormonal). Glad to have birth over with now too. I had an 85 hour labour that ended in an emergency c-section 🙃 So yeah, one child is enough!!
Hannah, I am 21 and have always felt that I wanted to have kids before I was 30. It is totally not silly but society is definitely judgmental. You would be a LOVELY mom & I would love to see you on that journey! 💗
I was told that my fertility was possibly decreased by 50% because of the fact that they muck about in the pelvic area - moving the fillopean tubes and stuff - that can create scarring inside that makes it harder to get pregnant... In Denmark we are told that we are eligible to get help to get pregnant if we wanted to.... So even if I wanted kids after the j-pouch I could have done that... I was also told that c-section was garanteed... The biggest issue for us were to find the contraception that would work for us... I couldn’t use the pill because of the faster pace inside- I tried a p-ring - that didn’t work for us... We ended up choosing that my husband got a vasectomy, because i had kids from before my illness... About kegel - I kept doing them between surgeries - because it was important to have a strong rectum to keep in the softer output.... I was 20 when I had my son ( not planned) - so I get the aspect of not wanting to be judged - but you also need to remember that the older you get the harder it can be to get pregnant - when we hit 30 we are actually almost more than mid way through our fertile years... Our bodies are made to have kids younger - so I personally don’t get the stigma coming with it... Personally I only find it ‘too young’ if someone is under 20 or are very immature - but other than that I don’t have a problem.... I have 3 nieces that have had their first kid in their early 20s... and sure - it’s harder, but they make it work and they are thriving ;) Another bonus - with younger parents often come younger grandparents - who can do more with the kids ;)
My wife had a perm stoma 15 years ago, we were told,it was unlikely she would get pregnant, however we had twins, delivered with c section, they are now 13 and we are all fine . Good luck
Ooooo if/when you get pregnant, the linea negra (dark line down the middle of your tummy) normally appears in the same place as your stoma scar. Would your belly stretch so much to see both lines or would they overlap? Can’t wait for you to geek out on pregnancy knowledge - you are going to love it
I'm 27 and I'm in SUCH a hurry to get pregnant.. never heard about like, there being a stigma? what? health wise it's better to have your babies early. sounds dumb to me, fam.
I feel like with stigma from other women it's partially leftover trauma from having that worldview taught to you, or seeing yourself/others being forced to have kids (to whatever extent).
I think there is a weird idea that if you have kids young it's because you are (supposedly) uneducated and reckless. The 'smart' thing to do is to wait until you are settled and financially secure of course and there is no way anyone under 30 could be properly prepared for kids. And by doing it later it is clearly a choice you are making rather than the result of pressure from society/family. Which no good feminist would do... Right? Of course this is all hogwash but that's the vibe I get from society. You do you.
Spiffleh i don’t get that kind of thinking either. nobody will ever be prepared enough to have children, it’s a learn as you go kind of thing, no matter what age you are. yes, maybe you have more of an ability to self reflect when you’re older, maybe you have more patience, but not necessarily. physically it’s easier to have children when you’re younger, not just birthing them. there’s upsides and downsides to both, but neither mean you’ll be a better parent. i don’t even understand why people look down on teen parents. your age has nothing to do with your abilities to parent, it all comes down to want and the ability to work at it.
I think the stigma is mostly about people having kids in their teens or early twenties. Like very few 22 year olds would be capable parents due to financial status and so on
So interesting and so brave to share your story with us ! Following your channel is so wonderful because of your enthusiasm and openness. Learning about women’s health and life issues, all the things that were never discussed around men and boys should have been done all along but your personality makes it much less awkward. Thank you so much.
I am 16 weeks pregnant. I don't have a stoma or IBD, but I do have other conditions (specifically hypermobility, IBS and mental health issues) and I think one thing that is not discussed enough is how the pregnancy hormones can make existing conditions and disabilities flare up, although I imagine this varies widely from condition to condition, and person to person. It wouldn't have put me off getting pregnant, but it would have been nice to have been prepared. None of my doctors ever mentioned it could happen, but then all my conditions flared up, and when I looked them up it was like, yeah, hormones will make all this worse. Fun times.
Worth pointing out that while this is entirely true, pregnancy also has a habit of putting certain conditions into temporary remission. Often women with things like rheumatoid arthritis, psoriasis, and other autoimmune disorders find that their disease disappears altogether during pregnancy. Sadly it usually comes back with a vengeance afterwards, but if you know it’s coming you can usually act pre-emptively.
I had two kids by 24, I loved being a young mum, and now I LOVE having an empty nest and being independent and concentrating on my career at 50.. all routes have advantages and disadvantages.
Hannah, you are such an inspiration! I admire you because no matter what difficulties come your way, you stay strong, cheerful, and brave. I just want to thank you for sharing this positivity and for showing people that we are capable of overcoming any obstacle! I wish you all the best for your future plans to start a family and I hope that your health will get better and better with time. Lots of love!
Thank you for making this video! I have now gone back to having a stoma after four months of jpouch life so it's someting I need to think about more. I was told that if I chose to have children, I should have a planned c-section because delivering said child vaginally could be difficult with all the scar tissue in that area from all my surgeries. I don't know if I can have kids yet but I'm planning to have a fertility test to make sure. I don't mind adopting if I can't though. Thank you again for sharing!
how come you went back to having a stoma?? I'm planning on doing a video about permanent stoma vs j pouch and would love to hear more about other people's experiences!
@@hannahwitton They found ulcers and inflammation in my small intestine and I had an obstruction (which may have been a psuedo-obstruction but I'm not sure) which was causing me so much pain they resorted to surgery. Unfortunately, they also managed to perferate my bowel during an investigative procedure (my surgeon was not impressed) which made surgery pretty much my only option at that point. My surgeon thinks I'm better off with a stoma and I'm inclined to agree; the last time I felt "healthy" was the day before I had jpouch surgery last June. Since then, I've not felt the same, having issues with my temp. stoma and then with the jpouch. I think it's really important to know other peoples experiences with jpouches vs stomas especially if you're faced with that decision so I'm looking forward to seeing your video on it. If you have any more questions, feel free to ask! :)
Sorry to hear you're going through these decisions - am not sure but I expect it's better to at least be as informed as you can be before deciding anything (unless your body makes the decision for you!). Also just want to quickly say how great it is for colitis/stomas to be getting more publicity these last couple of years - thank you for always being frank on your channel and adding to this publicity! I wish my consultant had told me the rectum removal surgery to make my stoma permanent would affect fertility. It was only my stoma nurse who told me (afterwards!). Am now seeing fertility specialists for this reason to see if scar tissue has blocked access to my tubes, as have been unsuccessful in getting pregnant for over a year :( things definitely moved around in there after the surgery too by the way - tampons etc. go in differently and sex in certain positions hurt now.
You're a wonderfully inspirational young lady Hannah. I was thinking, even before you said it in the video, that if this was me in this situation I'd keep the stoma and go for the retal surgery. Whatever you decide do whats best and feels right for YOU and nobody else. Either way we'll still watch your wonderfully insightful and helpful videos.
Hi, I am a biology and psychology major in the states. The reason that there isn't much research into pregnancy and women's health in this case and similar cases is to do with ethics. (at least in the US) The leading reasoning is that all things in science to be confirmed has to be tested and re-tested by multiple scientists to confirm or reject some hypothesis. The ethics comes in in that no one wants to subject a pregnant woman and her baby to these conditions to observe what happens every step of the way, multiple times in multiple women in order to confirm the results that they think they see. So for the most part, all researchers have to go off of is case by case examples, where there is no way to observe internally every step of the way as to what is happening. This is the same for what different diseases/medications might do to fetal development. They can't just go around giving pregnant women different diseases and medication to see what happens to their babies, that would be a gross abuse of power as scientists. So it may suck for a lack of answers, but ethics boards will almost always turn away experiments that involve children or pregnancy in any way, unless the information gained will benefit all women across the board and prove some substantial answers to necessary questions.
Thank you so much for all your videos. You really helped me earlier this year when due to Ehlers-Danlos syndrome I had to have an ileostomy and yours was the first I had ever seen. No children on the cards for me (different complications) but wish you all the best when you do decide. Thanks Hannah for your honesty and openness xx
In my country (and 21 other countries around us at least), women are judged for not having kids before 30. What people think changes constantly, it's unfair if we build our lives based on what they randomly decide. You don't need an excuse to have kids now. If you want to have kids, whenever you want to is the right time. Good Luck!
The amount of crap that women get for wanting or not wanting kids is ridiculous. I’m the opposite of you in knowing very young that I did not want kids. Of course I don’t want to downplay medical issues that prevent anyone from getting pregnant, but the amount of times that I’ve been asked WHY I don’t want kids...I wish I had a valid reason that would make someone back off (like a medical one). Anyways, I don’t have a stoma or colitis but I still like watching all of your info videos about it!
That note about decreased fertility after those surgeries is super interesting. It seems unlikely that it's just because the surgery is in that general area (though idk if it's open surgery or laparoscopic so that may make a difference) but for eg laparoscopic surgery to remove endometriosis (especially if it's excision surgery) is done all around the uterus, ovaries, bladder and bowel and there's evidence of increased fertility after that surgery for a short period of time (6-12 months). This could just be that the baselines are different - eg stoma/J pouch surgeries might be judged from a baseline of average fertility and endometriosis surgeries are judged from a baseline of decreased fertility due to endometriosis.. not sure but definitely interesting and hope they research more about both of these things more!
I'm coming to this late, but when it comes to having kids early, you do you. I'll be 25 on Saturday and I have a 9 month old baby. For my partner and I, it was perfect time and a perfect fit. We love our baby and love being parents. We do get asked A LOT about why we chose to be "young parents" and if our baby was planned. At this point, it mostly makes me giggle.
I know I'm very late to this party, but I'm binging your recent videos because the notification emails weren't going to the folder I thought they were going to (😅) and I figured I would comment anyway. I don't have an IBD/UC/Chrones type diagnoses (yet, at least) but I do have IBS, and I have given birth once (I was 29). Responding to the message from the husband who said his wife "showed in a weird way" - he's referring to how his wife "showed" her pregnancy. In other words, when and how much of a bump she got. I imagine he means her pregnant bump wasn't perfectly centered and round. I'm by far not an expert on such things, but I don't think you would have to worry about your organs not shifting properly to accommodate the growing uterus, because women without stomas still have our intestines attached to an orphice, it's just in a different location. Part of the intestine has to stay in place. You might have different concerns about blockage than the average pregnant woman, though constipation is very common in the average pregnancy. I also imagine that since you've have enough time to physically heal, there wouldn't be any more risks of a kicking baby in the later months of pregnancy knocking things loose than the risks of similarly catastrophic things potentially but not at all likely to happen in an average pregnancy. What I would be concerned about if I were to receive an ileostomy before my next pregnancy would be delivery time & postpartum issues. Many pregnant women experience their body "cleaning everything out" shortly before labour. This absolutely did trigger my IBS to act up. Most pregnant women experience constipation after giving birth, and the first few bowl movements can be very dehydrated. I would wonder how that translates to the modified tract you have. Every woman recovers differently postpartum, and it's different each time even for the same woman, but no woman on the face of the planet who has given birth will tell you her body has ever returned to the exact state it was before pregnancy. I've noticed that some of my abdominal fat tissue that squished upward has happily settled into a thicker ridge up near the ribs and hasn't redistributed back down. If the fat tissue stayed shifted a bit, did my organs? If I had a stoma, I would wonder if my intestines would settle so differently that the stoma behaved differently after. I've also noticed that my rib cage widened a bit and never returned. I wear a larger band size in my bras than before by 1 standard size. Hormonal changes experienced during pregnancy can linger or even stick permanently. My mother became lactose intolerant while pregnant with me (I'm lactose intolerant) and that never changed. I used to need every blanket on my bed at night, and now I sweat in my sleep. I'm only 31, and this change coincided with pregnancy.
Late 20s is the best age for kids. Believe me, once you get into your (late) 30s you do NOT want a baby around during the night. You probably do yourself a favor, by getting this "wonderful nights" done with. :D PS: we had our kids at 26/28/34 for my wife (+3 for me)... and believe me, there IS a difference between late twenties and mid thirties.
29 and will TTC in December, my partner and I are so sure about this and so excited, society can suck my clit. I def understand having so many questions! But I think that this pre-time can be fun as well, learning a lot and affirming life choices. At least that's the attitude I try to keep (hello anxiety my old friend). Sending love your way!!
don't listen to other people, they have no idea what is going on and why bother them. Oh don't worry about "trying" as it puts more pressure you don't need, my wife and I just had fun with it after trying, and was more stressful. We had some trouble for more wife to fall pregnant, and just having fun with sex our expectation with having a baby and the stress of falling pregnant were a lot better. Good luck with it all and Hope for the best.
It is really REALLY interesting that the pouch surgery appears to affect fertility. In 2015, a woman had her ovary frozen before she had chemotherapy. Once she had finished therapy and was cancer-free some years later, the frozen ovary was thawed and replaced just under the skin of her belly. It was uncomfortable for her to wear jeans because the ovary was a lump around the waist. In a few months, doctors were going to see how well the ovary was doing and plan to replace it in it's proper home - but the woman got pregnant! The ovary was working from the other side of the abdominal wall!!! (I'll try to find the link to the podcast about this and add it as a reply to this comment.) What a robust little organ!!
While pregnancy might be the more commonly researched aspect of women's health, I personally don't think it really even helps that much. As someone who has been pregnant twice and has a baby, my experience was so dramatically different than what "research would indicate" and the doctors couldn't possibly begin to tell me why. Honestly I think pregnancy is one of those things that is SO unique to each person that even research doesn't do a great job of helping women make good decisions about their pregnancy. Pile on additional factors and you get even less clarity. I feel for ya on that. :/
Freedom is about being able to choose. Once, women were effectively required to have kids, and ideally have them early. Now we get to choose. Many people are choosing to have kids later or not at all, but if you're NOT ALLOWED to have them earlier, then it's not a choice, it's just a new form of control. Like clothes -- some people feel liberated in bikinis, some people feel liberated in niqabs, and as long as it's a free choice they should both be allowed to choose it.
This was so interesting, even watching as someone with no experience of UC (although I have IBS) and never wants kids in their life! Would love to see a video of you deciding between J-Pouch and permanent stoma surgery, and all the pros and cons!
My colorectal surgeon told me that getting your rectum removed or creating a j-pouch will cause scar tissue to develop in the Fallopian tubes, causing difficulty for sperm to get to the eggs, but things like IVF are options because you can physically BE pregnant, it’s just the process getting there that’s difficult.
Oh my God Hannah, I like you so much! I am not disabled but I totally feel the same way about society judging women. Especially in the dating culture, I'm reluctant to talk openly about my wishes to be a mother and to be married. I'm 24 years old. I always think that I can't talk about how sincere I am about those wishes. If you are part of the dating culture (i.e. still looking for a partner), I feel like you will be judged for it by guys. Is this the reality or just my perception of the situation?
Do you have a video on why you want to go through pregnancy so much? Isn't adoption an option you'd consider? I'd be interested in hearing your input in this!
Great suggestion and that would be an amazing story - let's just wait to see Hannah produce a UA-cam video about birth whilst suffering with a stoma and autoimmune disease - show how an illness won't stop pregnancy.
Round where I live, we say 'she's showing' as a way of saying you can see she's pregnant? So she showed in a weird way means the bump looked odd or something I would've thought
Having had experience with infertility: we got through it but it took 7 years. Now you just never know because on that basis I’ve often advised some of my younger friends “not to wait too long” and I have seen them sometimes get pregnant in a month, so you never know the timing on such things. That being said, the people that got pregnant fast have awesome kids and are perfect happy :-). But the the net net is that you just never know and time is likely not on your side, so if you are really want kids, I wouldn’t wait too long (as you seem aware). But ultimately you guys have to balance these gambles yourselves and make your own decisions. Ain’t life fun? Any which way wishing you only good things!
That is a lot to process, think through and deal with, and even after that you are left with a lot of significant unknowns. Thank you for your courage in sharing this very important information. Hugs!
Hi Hannah,
I'm a midwife-to-be and also have Crohn's disease and am proud owner of a stoma too. Yay. Well, I'm pretty "bummed" out too about all the research that's not taking place. So I kind of have in mind to write my bachelor's thesis about stoma patients who get pregnant and how they give birth and what there questions are beforehand. Stuff like that. Maybe you want to get together about that and work out some idea. Would be sooooo cool!
ANSCHIIIII, yes! Go girl! Ich wollt dir das Video am Freitag zeigen haha
Ich hoff du bist jetzt eh die Anschi, die ich mein ;)
And the bachelor's thesis is such a great idea!!
@@tessabogdanovics1329 tessssaaaa :D such a coincidence!! Müss ma am Donnerstag reden :D
I wish more research was done on people with stomas. It would also have an added bonus of giving a lot of info on what the colon does and doesn't do if scientists study people without them. For instance, there seems to be a higher rate of women with hormonal issues whom have ileostomies and no colon and I feel this is because the hepatic portal vein is cauterized and this vein is key in hormonal health. This vein allows excess hormones and toxins to be shuttled to the colon for elimination. Since this is cauterized, these things get reabsorbed more so than eliminated due to the vein not going to the colon. Also, things like immune health, gut Flora, sibo, mental health (serotonin in the gut), nutrients (b vitamins), etc
iirc hannah doesn't help with thesis' as a rule but she may have changed her mind on that
Oooh yeah! Definitely do that!!
There is a stigma about having kids 'young' -- BUT like under 20 young. And frankly, you seem leveled head, financially secure, and extremely intelligent. So like, who cares what others say about what you do or don't do. Society judges everything and everyone
same, i was thinking "you call having kids under 30 young?! oh wow"
Depends on the culture - which varies even within cities. Within wealthier circles in the UK, having a baby under 30 is young. Its "sacrificing" your career. In other circles, it is very common for women to be pregnant in their early twenties, particularly those who dropped out of school at 16
Would definitely like to see the J-Pouch vs permanent stoma video. I'll support you no matter what decisions you make. I know that doesn't mean much but I think a lot of your viewers feel the same.
ElderMillenial I oped for the permanent J pouch and never regretted it for 1 second , I now have two teenage kids and these surgical procedures were done when the were done when they were very young also due to ulcerative colitis
@@tonywampler166 +
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I’ve had two pregnancies with my jpouch. I didn’t have any issues. I did have c-sections with both, trying to avoid fistulas. It didn’t work. I got a fistula
Hannah team up with Mama Doctor Jones (US OBGYN) for a collab on this topic!!!
This is such a good idea!
YASSSS
My wife died from Lung Cancer two and Nine Months ago but you are Alive Thanks to God the All Mighty. May he Bless you in All you do, by for now.
You're financially stable, in a committed relationship, and a permanent home with your partner- I'd say anyone that judges you for having kids at your age needs to mind their own business 🤗
I was told my ileostomy would leave me infertile. I've had my stoma just over 2 years now and I gave birth to my daughter 12 weeks ago. No problems with my stoma all through my pregnancy and I delivered her naturally
This was a really emotional watch for me. I'm 21, had my stoma formed at 19 and had to have my rectum removed due to continuing severe UC this summer. I've always wanted children and I was 20 when I found out that more surgery would reduce my chances of pregnancy but I also knew I needed surgery soon. I spent just under a year, between realising I should probably 'get a move on' (as you put it) and my deadline of surgery, trying to get pregnant. I also found that 'having an excuse' to be pregnant so young was helpful and my mum even said she would support me 100%. Unfortunately, I didn't get pregnant, and when I had my surgery my surgeon said that my rectum was so inflamed it had stuck itself to my vagina!! My boyfriend and I are still hoping we can have kids 'naturally' but I'm facing the prospect of IVF now. I hope this wasn't too much of an overshare but what you said really resonated. Sometimes our bodies just f***ing suck.
I decided I didn’t want kids, due to complications from chronic illness, and got my tubes tied at 29, so definitely don’t think you’re silly for deciding you DO want kids before 30!
nothing more feminist to me than a woman making informed decisions about her life, health, and body in order to live her best, most fulfilled life :') rock on hannah i love how you handle everything that comes your way lol thank you for sharing with us
"society is really judgemental about what people do with their wombs" omg Hannah YES.
Having kids in your late 20s is not having them young in my opinion. Being a feminist means that you get to be empowered to make the choice of when or if you want to bear children. Having a kid at 23 or 25 or 27 or whenever is not "silly" especially if you do it intentionally and with purpose. Eff the opinions of others.
Heartily agree with your overall sentiment but to be fair, since the average age of a woman giving birth to her first child in the UK is now north of 30, technically the late 20s would qualify as young.
(I believe the term “young mother” officially tends to refer to mothers between 18 and 25, though.)
This is completely off topic but I love your hair like this Hannah!
I was thinking exactly the same! She looks smokin
I’ve had a stoma for nearly three years and I’ve never been told about my higher risk for rectal cancer. This video has definitely given me a list of questions to ask my consultant at my next appointment!
"You can't potty train the kids, you don't know how to poo." 😂😂😂😂 that was good
On another note, this is all so interesting! I don't have a disability but I like learning about all of this stuff, things I wouldn't typically think of. Thanks for sharing, and good luck with your journey!
I'm pretty sure they mean 'presents' as in she had an interestingly shaped bump.
I know the 'society will judge you regardless' feeling so well, it makes sense that there's a weight off because the doctors have said sooner is ok/preferable.
right?!?!
Hi Hannah, I have severe endometriosis and I was told by my doctors that I had 6 months after surgery to remove scar tissue and blockages etc to try for children (up to then unsuccessful trying). I was 28. I was told if I was not pregnant within those 6 months I was likely never going to have children naturally and would require medical intervention. I somehow miraculously got pregnant naturally and now have 10 month old TWINS! I was 29 they were born. I also secretly enjoyed the idea I was medically advised to have them because I felt people would think I was too young. I felt young but there’s nothing like children to make you realise how old you actually feel. F the stigma. Have them babies 👶🏼 you go girl x
Hey Hannah,
Last week I found out that I'm pregnant after 9 months of trying. Then she told me that we're having twins which came as a great shock because I never expected this to happen. Twins just don't run in my family.
So once you decide to have a baby, be prepared for a great surprise and consult with your doctors beforehand. Just in case...
randomly watching this in 2022 and finding all of Hannahs answers very interesting after watching her pregnancy videos
she showed in a weird way = the bump didn't look like most bumps
That's how I read it too
Could be he also meant how the baby presented at birth (breach, face up), since he mentioned the baby not being able to move around as much, and the baby moves into "head down, face down(toward mums bottom)" from being head up during the first 2 trimesters.
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Sara Morgan Sollesnes I know why you mean but seems unlikely, “showing” is v standard terminology for the appearance of a bump.
If one parent has IBD, there is a 5-10% risk of the child developing IBD. If both parents have IBD, the risk is about 33%. (Per Cleveland Clinic)
I'm 23 and due my baby in nine weeks, I don't think theres anything wrong with your age. Being a young parent isnt as taboo as it used to be, so I wouldn't mind what people think.
Back when my mom was pregnant with my older sister it was weird and she already considered old because she was 27. Then she was considered ancient when she was pregnant with my older brother at 34 and I probably basically dead when she had me at 41.
Back them having your kids barely out of school was more normal than waiting a bit, these days it's more normal to have them in your late 20s or even sometime in your 30s and that is just 27 years after I was born.
Really weird how this shift happened where suddenly people like you are considered the weird ones.
I honestly believe that the right age to have kids is different for every person. For one 19 would be too young while it's completely fine for the next person. Some people are only ready when they are 40.
I believe in letting people making those choices for themselves.
I feel like being an "older" mother is more taboo than being a young one. They call pregnant women geriatric mothers at 35!
Society is to judgmental. Too old, too young...
Let's just make our own decisions and not worry about other people.
😉
@Speaking Truth That was exactly my point.
I don't have a stoma but I'm currently pregnant at 27. I started my job only 1.5 years ago so still very new to the whole career thing. I wanted and now have a master's degree in engineering but I also always wanted kids. I think it depends on how you manage kids and career. I'm from Germany and we have this wonderful opportunity to take up to 14 months of paid parental leave. So I'm off the first six months and then my partner takes the other eight. With maternity leave before the birth we both take equal time off of work. So even if we just started our careers, me and my partner share the load. A lot of men in Germany don't take time off to care for their children because it will "ruin" their career. Womens careers suffer eaually but in a twisted way it is expected of them to sacrifice the career over children. I think that this is the real problem here. The feminist thing would be to say either parent can care for the kids how and how long they want and that taking care of children isn't only restricted to mothers. Hope that wasn't too off topic but the issue really annoys me these days.
Me too,
now that you mentioned it, I think I follow (on tw) a group(?) advocating for more fathers taking parental leave . UK based if I recall it properly.
Didn't see any post recently as I rarely open twitter these days, but yeah, that needs to be advocated, popularised a lot more. Worldwide.
It's beneficial to everyone involved...
Not to discount your cause because I do think paternity leave is vastly underrated, but I live in the USA so I'm still in absolute shock about the parental leave amount!! Holy crap!!! My job literally offered 0 days maternity leave. ZERO!! Technically they say they can cover your shift for a few days while you recover but it's not paid unless you take vacation days (which is very limited). I basically had to quit when I got pregnant. And this is not considered a crappy job either. I literally can not fathom 14 months.
@@littlemissbekah9722 I have family in the US and it baffles me how people afford to have children at all. First of all no paid leave and on top of that no universal health care system. The system in Germany is far from perfect if you compare it to Scandinavian countries, but the US is just ridiculous. In addition birth control and abortions are harder to get so it's the epiphany of a misogynistic system that often doesn't even give you the option to decide to have a baby. And if you have it, good luck on your own. This makes me so angry and sad!
@@littlemissbekah9722 I'm always in shock when I see how little maternity rights there are in the USA, it's so sad. I see so many women on breastfeeding groups saying they need to go back to work at 3 or 6 weeks and couldn't even imagine it, I could barely function that early on.
In the UK you are given the option for shared parental leave but as I was breastfeeding and honestly being a little selfish I took the whole year for myself. This meant I did 95% of the childcare but I got to spend a total of 14 months with my daughter as you accrue leave whilst you are off and I took it at the end.
@@littlemissbekah9722 I don't want to click thumbs down on you personally, but this is so, so sad. My heart goes out to you.
Not a Doctor??
I THOUGHT ALL BRITISH PEOPLE WERE THE DOCTOR
Time to stock up on jelly babies...
Captain Robert April or just reverse the polarity of the neutron flow!
No that's why the waiting lists on the NHS are long! Because there's only 13 doctors! Hehe
Hannah: “I’m under 30 I’m young and reckless”
Also hannah: “hogwash”
You can definitely have children at your age! You dont need an excuse
Hannah- I totally relate to this feeling of being "too young" to have kids!! I've also always known I want kids before 30 and I completely understand how having a medical "excuse" would make you feel better about doing something you privately have always wanted to do anyways. I also feel this way about ultimately wanting to be a stay at home mom when I raise children. We gotta fight the judgement! You do you!
Just have kids, if you want to. There is no perfect time for it.
This!!!
Exactly this, it is that simple really. Above the mid 40s and below 17 or 18 the medical risks are arguably not worth it, but between those confines, there are pros and cons to every single age. Social outcomes a little better for mothers north of 30, medical outcomes better for women between the early and late 20s. There are pros career-wise to having children very young and “getting it out of the way”, there are pros to having them later after getting a career established. It really is a case of what works for you, and arguably by aiming for the late 20s you’re getting some of the benefits of both doing it early and slightly delaying it, if you see what I mean. It’s young, but not young enough that the cons of having children *super* young apply.
You look absolutely beautiful in this video.
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Feminism means also respecting every women's choices and supporting them! It is definitely not "unfeminist" of you if you decide to have children "early", it is just the way you want it and it's your right to decide.
You’re my representation, I’m going through something with my sacrum, coccyx and rectum and watching this relieves my surgery anticipation anxiety. Thanks Hannah ❤️
It isn’t hogwash. We had a plan to discuss “when we have children” at 30. Despite two forms of birth control I became pregnant at 26. The second youngest woman in my prenatal class was a teenager. We were both treated like we were idiots. Since we had no 1, we had number 2 in a few years.
That said, my chronic health issues went nuts at 33. If I had not had them before 30, I don’t know if I would have been able to do it.
It all worked out, you see. So just do whatever works best for you.
Pleaaase post a video about the pros & cons about J-pouch surgery vs permanent stoma!
Literally the debate I’m having with my stoma too 🙄😩
why is now strange for people have kids under 30 People need to mind there own business
If ppl all did that half the problems out there wouldn’t be...
Rui Silva nah there are already way too many teens getting pregnant in this world today which just creates even more problems
Yes exactly. I had my first son at 22, nothing strange about that. He was very much wanted, we felt ready to start a family. I actually want to be DONE having kids before 30. People will judge, they always do so go with whatever feels right to you.
Alexis Riley I get what you’re saying but I just wanted to point out that teen pregnancy and teen sex is at an all time low right now
Bill Thomson I know, I’m 23 and I know plenty of people my age who are married with babies
My biggest thing is knowledge is power. And I sincerely appreciate the way that you educate and speak so honestly. I have Cerebral Palsy and am super passionate about adults - especially women, vitally need greater access to proper education on how other areas of your life are affected when you have disabilities and chronic illnesses. The internet can be great but can also provide so much false information and anxiety.
hannah i want to compliment you on the language you used throughout this video. usually i can't even listen to others talking about pregnancy (touchy subject for me) but the way you talked about it made me feel at ease. thank you. keep being you, cause you're awesome!!!
Totally unrelated but I really like your hair colour Hannah!
I was diagnosed with severe UC at 18, a few months later had a colectomy and then a year later had a j-pouch created. My surgeries were all laparoscopic which I was told would decrease the risk of scar tissue forming. At the time I didn’t really consider the fertility aspect as I knew I wouldn’t be having kids for a while and I was keen to get rid of my stoma. Pre surgery I was also on medications that I was told *may* impact my fertility. Now at 25 I’m pretty concerned about my ability to have kids in the future, however my colorectal surgeon has reassured me that it is still possible. He also strongly recommended a c-section to preserve sphincter function as j-pouchers that have vaginal births apparently have a higher risk of incontinence. Thanks so much for sharing your journey, I’ll be following along :)
I am originally from Midwest America and soon I will be turning 29. Everyone wants to know when I'll be having kids and why I haven't yet. My friends have all already had kids. I don't know if I want them. I guess my point is that in some regions having kids before you're 30 is what IS expected.
Hi Hannah, I totally know what you mean about being almost happy to have a medical excuse for your womb decisions; I knew from a young age that I wanted a child but wanted to adopt and did NOT want to give birth; people were like settle down you will want to will you’re older but I never did. Well, joke was on them, endometriosis and PCOS at 17, infertility at 21, and a total hysterectomy at 34! 😆 Also, that was the year I adopted my then 5 year old son from foster care. ❤️
Brave of you to talk about how you're relieved about how it will ease some of the societal judgement. Thanks
Don’t do that to yourself! Don’t let what other people think of you stop you from living you’re life. I’m 22 and having my first child in February! I knew I wanted to have kids young but I didn’t think I would be THIS young! Of course I’m scared of what people think about me and say about me but I love my fiancé and I am okay with figuring things out as we go!
Screw them have babies when you want I knew I would struggle to conceive so had my first at 25 after 2 years of trying, best thing I’ve ever done x
Hannah, before i even get past the intro, I have to comment that you look absolutely glowing and gorgeous in this video!! (You do always but this one in particular!) your makeup is beautiful xx
I would certainly like to see you make a video about your decision-making process for your further surgery options. I really appreciate your stoma/IBD/disability content ❤️
I just have to say you seem very positive person. It takes a lot of courage to talk about these things potentially for hundreds of thousands of people. I watched (or tried to) the video you made after the first surgeon and I'm really amazed how you can just tell about these things like that. I'm not very sensitive guy, I've seen all kind of crap on the internet, some really disgusting stuff and all but I just couldn't listen the story to the end. After the part of "crapping just blood" I had to stop.. Okay it's not the end of the world to have a stoma or go through all that, but I don't know could I just 'get over it' as fast as you. Or at all. You are incredibly strong person.
My 'two cents' into the getting kids matter: If you want kids and you are in a good relationship and can afford it: Go for it. No matter the age. If you don't want kids: You don't have to. Age doesn't matter on this case either. Society doesn't care about individuals or their wishes, so you will have much more pleasant life if you do what you want, not what other people want you to do. I know many people who've got kids in their early (or late) twenties. And I also know people who've decided they don't want kids, ever. I think nobody else have a right to say yes or no about the matter but the person's whose life it affects.
Just putting it out there that "I wanted to" is a perfectly feminist reason for having kids - whenever you want to have them.
Feminism is about giving women choices.
You are still Alive & that is more important than anything You can think 🤔 of or About, from me.
I totally get that you feel relieved that you have a medical reason for having kids "early". Like you said, society is so judemental. I don't think your late 20's are late. Maybe it's just where I'm from and the people I know (I'm 25 and live in Sweden) but I have several friends my age and younger having kids now and no one thinks it's too early. I'm single now but when I was in a long term relationship (I was 21-24) people asked me about if we were planning to have kids. I want to wait until I'm 30, if I decide to have kids at all, and people around me seem to think that's weird or a bit late... So you do you, there's always going to be people that think you're doing it wrong anyway.
Interesting video!
Bearing down/pushing like you would do to give birth is not the same as Kegels. In fact it is the opposite because you are using your abdominal muscles to push downward, whereas Kegels involve lifting up/in with your pelvic floor muscles.
Thank you for being so open as always and sharing what you are going through with all of us!
Ah mini Hannah's eventually how exciting.
I have ulcerative colitis and now have an ileostomy I got pregnant 6 months after the surgery to get my stoma and just gave birth to my beautiful healthy baby girl this month! I blogged about my pregnancy journey and about what it was like with my stoma. I mostly did this through Instagram my username is Piglet Chronicles. If you or anyone else has questions about pregnancy or anything stoma related im your girl :) thanks so much hannah for doing this video so glad women are starting to talk about this more openly!!!
I am actually in the same exact situation health wise as well. I too have a temporary stoma in place and need to have my rectum removed as i have developed Diversion Colitis in my rectum. I was not planning to have a child until 2 years after my wedding but my body had other plans. The ostomy surgery was suppose to relieve my UC symptoms but it didn't work entirely because i still have active disease in my rectum with no response to medication my only option was to remove the rectum in order to find relief. My husband and I then decided we would have a baby sooner than later in case my active disease got worse. So I waited the 6 months after my ileo surgery and was fortunate enough to get pregnant right away.
Anyone with a stoma can get pregnant (as long as there are no fertility issues). However usually other circumstances medically can prevent you from being able to get pregnant or it is not advisable. The biggest reasons are medications (many medications can not be used during pregnancy) and other health conditions. For me personally I have an ileostomy and central line and two feeding tubes, I also have a rare genetic disease with a double type combination one of those types being vascular. My disease if you have it you have a 50% chance of passing it on to your child. Because of my condition, how severe my issues are, and the comorbid issues I have as well as some other unrelated conditions having a child biologically is completely out of the question for me. It would kill me or the potential child or both. And at the minimum it would cause severe disease progression.
So while the answer is technically yes there are so many considerations to think about.
Ehlers Danlos?
MaiaEdge31 Yes! I have vEDS and hEDS (strong officially diagnosed EDS on both sides different type each side).
Late twenties, successful career, long-term partner, if by society standards you shouldn't be having kids yet, or your 'too young' or not ready etc etc, then no one can have kids ever xD I know a lot of women seem to be having kids later, but there is no shame in loving children and wanting to be a mum before the age of 30, or hell, 25 years old. My best friend just had her little girl at 23, she's still in the middle of her master's degree, her partner is barely into his career, but goddamn the amount of love showered on that baby is incredible.
I get the research in women’s health thing. I’ve had vulvodynia for over 18 months now and it’s just like ‘we have no idea why sex is suddenly excruciating for you and might be for the rest of your life... want to try some anti convulsants? Or maybe just chop that area out?’ And that’s if you’re speaking to a specialist who is actually willing to acknowledge the condition exists and not label you a hysterical young woman. I haven’t had much luck so far.
And I really wanted a child young and beat myself up about it for ages! In the end, I gave in and had my baby a few months before turning 23 and don’t regret it. No one was judgemental and I’m sure anyone who was would get over it very quickly once your child was here.
I will say that pregnancy is very hard on your body. I thought I knew that going in but I was shocked by it! A year later and I still can’t exercise the way I used to due to separated abdominal muscles (and the vulvodynia actually started in the second trimester so who knows if that was hormonal).
Glad to have birth over with now too. I had an 85 hour labour that ended in an emergency c-section 🙃 So yeah, one child is enough!!
I truly love how upbeat & optimistic you are. Thanks for your informative videos.
I just had a kid at 27, I wanted to be a young mum and have career time after kids!
I think it’s due to scar tissue around the organs/pelvic area that effect your chances of pregnancy. It also effects men’s x
(I’m a nurse, not just a random idea in my head 😂)
+
Hannah, I am 21 and have always felt that I wanted to have kids before I was 30. It is totally not silly but society is definitely judgmental. You would be a LOVELY mom & I would love to see you on that journey! 💗
I was told that my fertility was possibly decreased by 50% because of the fact that they muck about in the pelvic area - moving the fillopean tubes and stuff - that can create scarring inside that makes it harder to get pregnant...
In Denmark we are told that we are eligible to get help to get pregnant if we wanted to....
So even if I wanted kids after the j-pouch I could have done that...
I was also told that c-section was garanteed...
The biggest issue for us were to find the contraception that would work for us...
I couldn’t use the pill because of the faster pace inside- I tried a p-ring - that didn’t work for us...
We ended up choosing that my husband got a vasectomy, because i had kids from before my illness...
About kegel - I kept doing them between surgeries - because it was important to have a strong rectum to keep in the softer output....
I was 20 when I had my son ( not planned) - so I get the aspect of not wanting to be judged - but you also need to remember that the older you get the harder it can be to get pregnant - when we hit 30 we are actually almost more than mid way through our fertile years...
Our bodies are made to have kids younger - so I personally don’t get the stigma coming with it...
Personally I only find it ‘too young’ if someone is under 20 or are very immature - but other than that I don’t have a problem....
I have 3 nieces that have had their first kid in their early 20s... and sure - it’s harder, but they make it work and they are thriving ;)
Another bonus - with younger parents often come younger grandparents - who can do more with the kids ;)
My wife had a perm stoma 15 years ago, we were told,it was unlikely she would get pregnant, however we had twins, delivered with c section, they are now 13 and we are all fine . Good luck
Ooooo if/when you get pregnant, the linea negra (dark line down the middle of your tummy) normally appears in the same place as your stoma scar. Would your belly stretch so much to see both lines or would they overlap?
Can’t wait for you to geek out on pregnancy knowledge - you are going to love it
I love how she says "mummy" instead of mommy. It's sounds so cute, loving, and nurturing.
I'm 27 and I'm in SUCH a hurry to get pregnant.. never heard about like, there being a stigma? what? health wise it's better to have your babies early. sounds dumb to me, fam.
I feel like with stigma from other women it's partially leftover trauma from having that worldview taught to you, or seeing yourself/others being forced to have kids (to whatever extent).
I think there is a weird idea that if you have kids young it's because you are (supposedly) uneducated and reckless. The 'smart' thing to do is to wait until you are settled and financially secure of course and there is no way anyone under 30 could be properly prepared for kids. And by doing it later it is clearly a choice you are making rather than the result of pressure from society/family. Which no good feminist would do... Right?
Of course this is all hogwash but that's the vibe I get from society. You do you.
Spiffleh i don’t get that kind of thinking either. nobody will ever be prepared enough to have children, it’s a learn as you go kind of thing, no matter what age you are. yes, maybe you have more of an ability to self reflect when you’re older, maybe you have more patience, but not necessarily. physically it’s easier to have children when you’re younger, not just birthing them. there’s upsides and downsides to both, but neither mean you’ll be a better parent. i don’t even understand why people look down on teen parents. your age has nothing to do with your abilities to parent, it all comes down to want and the ability to work at it.
I think the stigma is mostly about people having kids in their teens or early twenties. Like very few 22 year olds would be capable parents due to financial status and so on
So interesting and so brave to share your story with us ! Following your channel is so wonderful because of your enthusiasm and openness. Learning about women’s health and life issues, all the things that were never discussed around men and boys should have been done all along but your personality makes it much less awkward. Thank you so much.
I am 16 weeks pregnant. I don't have a stoma or IBD, but I do have other conditions (specifically hypermobility, IBS and mental health issues) and I think one thing that is not discussed enough is how the pregnancy hormones can make existing conditions and disabilities flare up, although I imagine this varies widely from condition to condition, and person to person. It wouldn't have put me off getting pregnant, but it would have been nice to have been prepared. None of my doctors ever mentioned it could happen, but then all my conditions flared up, and when I looked them up it was like, yeah, hormones will make all this worse. Fun times.
Worth pointing out that while this is entirely true, pregnancy also has a habit of putting certain conditions into temporary remission. Often women with things like rheumatoid arthritis, psoriasis, and other autoimmune disorders find that their disease disappears altogether during pregnancy. Sadly it usually comes back with a vengeance afterwards, but if you know it’s coming you can usually act pre-emptively.
I had two kids by 24, I loved being a young mum, and now I LOVE having an empty nest and being independent and concentrating on my career at 50.. all routes have advantages and disadvantages.
Hannah, you are such an inspiration! I admire you because no matter what difficulties come your way, you stay strong, cheerful, and brave. I just want to thank you for sharing this positivity and for showing people that we are capable of overcoming any obstacle! I wish you all the best for your future plans to start a family and I hope that your health will get better and better with time. Lots of love!
Thank you for making this video! I have now gone back to having a stoma after four months of jpouch life so it's someting I need to think about more. I was told that if I chose to have children, I should have a planned c-section because delivering said child vaginally could be difficult with all the scar tissue in that area from all my surgeries. I don't know if I can have kids yet but I'm planning to have a fertility test to make sure. I don't mind adopting if I can't though. Thank you again for sharing!
how come you went back to having a stoma?? I'm planning on doing a video about permanent stoma vs j pouch and would love to hear more about other people's experiences!
@@hannahwitton They found ulcers and inflammation in my small intestine and I had an obstruction (which may have been a psuedo-obstruction but I'm not sure) which was causing me so much pain they resorted to surgery. Unfortunately, they also managed to perferate my bowel during an investigative procedure (my surgeon was not impressed) which made surgery pretty much my only option at that point. My surgeon thinks I'm better off with a stoma and I'm inclined to agree; the last time I felt "healthy" was the day before I had jpouch surgery last June. Since then, I've not felt the same, having issues with my temp. stoma and then with the jpouch.
I think it's really important to know other peoples experiences with jpouches vs stomas especially if you're faced with that decision so I'm looking forward to seeing your video on it.
If you have any more questions, feel free to ask! :)
completely unrelated to anything but your hair looks amazing in this video!
Can I just say you look stunning here! Love love LOVE the hair, love the eyeshadow, love the eyebrows, you’re glowing, I love it.
Dear Hannah, you are a true hero for me! Thank you for educating people! You are very brave and so lovely. Good luck with everything!
love how honest and open you are
Sorry to hear you're going through these decisions - am not sure but I expect it's better to at least be as informed as you can be before deciding anything (unless your body makes the decision for you!). Also just want to quickly say how great it is for colitis/stomas to be getting more publicity these last couple of years - thank you for always being frank on your channel and adding to this publicity!
I wish my consultant had told me the rectum removal surgery to make my stoma permanent would affect fertility. It was only my stoma nurse who told me (afterwards!). Am now seeing fertility specialists for this reason to see if scar tissue has blocked access to my tubes, as have been unsuccessful in getting pregnant for over a year :( things definitely moved around in there after the surgery too by the way - tampons etc. go in differently and sex in certain positions hurt now.
‘Showed’ refers to the baby bump ❤️
You're a wonderfully inspirational young lady Hannah. I was thinking, even before you said it in the video, that if this was me in this situation I'd keep the stoma and go for the retal surgery. Whatever you decide do whats best and feels right for YOU and nobody else. Either way we'll still watch your wonderfully insightful and helpful videos.
Hi, I am a biology and psychology major in the states. The reason that there isn't much research into pregnancy and women's health in this case and similar cases is to do with ethics. (at least in the US) The leading reasoning is that all things in science to be confirmed has to be tested and re-tested by multiple scientists to confirm or reject some hypothesis. The ethics comes in in that no one wants to subject a pregnant woman and her baby to these conditions to observe what happens every step of the way, multiple times in multiple women in order to confirm the results that they think they see. So for the most part, all researchers have to go off of is case by case examples, where there is no way to observe internally every step of the way as to what is happening. This is the same for what different diseases/medications might do to fetal development. They can't just go around giving pregnant women different diseases and medication to see what happens to their babies, that would be a gross abuse of power as scientists. So it may suck for a lack of answers, but ethics boards will almost always turn away experiments that involve children or pregnancy in any way, unless the information gained will benefit all women across the board and prove some substantial answers to necessary questions.
Thank you so much for all your videos. You really helped me earlier this year when due to Ehlers-Danlos syndrome I had to have an ileostomy and yours was the first I had ever seen. No children on the cards for me (different complications) but wish you all the best when you do decide. Thanks Hannah for your honesty and openness xx
In my country (and 21 other countries around us at least), women are judged for not having kids before 30. What people think changes constantly, it's unfair if we build our lives based on what they randomly decide. You don't need an excuse to have kids now. If you want to have kids, whenever you want to is the right time. Good Luck!
The amount of crap that women get for wanting or not wanting kids is ridiculous. I’m the opposite of you in knowing very young that I did not want kids. Of course I don’t want to downplay medical issues that prevent anyone from getting pregnant, but the amount of times that I’ve been asked WHY I don’t want kids...I wish I had a valid reason that would make someone back off (like a medical one).
Anyways, I don’t have a stoma or colitis but I still like watching all of your info videos about it!
Hannah ! You don't need to care about what the other think ! You do you !!!
You're looking really healthy and glowing in this video! Love it!!
That note about decreased fertility after those surgeries is super interesting. It seems unlikely that it's just because the surgery is in that general area (though idk if it's open surgery or laparoscopic so that may make a difference) but for eg laparoscopic surgery to remove endometriosis (especially if it's excision surgery) is done all around the uterus, ovaries, bladder and bowel and there's evidence of increased fertility after that surgery for a short period of time (6-12 months). This could just be that the baselines are different - eg stoma/J pouch surgeries might be judged from a baseline of average fertility and endometriosis surgeries are judged from a baseline of decreased fertility due to endometriosis.. not sure but definitely interesting and hope they research more about both of these things more!
I'm coming to this late, but when it comes to having kids early, you do you. I'll be 25 on Saturday and I have a 9 month old baby. For my partner and I, it was perfect time and a perfect fit. We love our baby and love being parents. We do get asked A LOT about why we chose to be "young parents" and if our baby was planned. At this point, it mostly makes me giggle.
I know I'm very late to this party, but I'm binging your recent videos because the notification emails weren't going to the folder I thought they were going to (😅) and I figured I would comment anyway. I don't have an IBD/UC/Chrones type diagnoses (yet, at least) but I do have IBS, and I have given birth once (I was 29).
Responding to the message from the husband who said his wife "showed in a weird way" - he's referring to how his wife "showed" her pregnancy. In other words, when and how much of a bump she got. I imagine he means her pregnant bump wasn't perfectly centered and round.
I'm by far not an expert on such things, but I don't think you would have to worry about your organs not shifting properly to accommodate the growing uterus, because women without stomas still have our intestines attached to an orphice, it's just in a different location. Part of the intestine has to stay in place. You might have different concerns about blockage than the average pregnant woman, though constipation is very common in the average pregnancy. I also imagine that since you've have enough time to physically heal, there wouldn't be any more risks of a kicking baby in the later months of pregnancy knocking things loose than the risks of similarly catastrophic things potentially but not at all likely to happen in an average pregnancy. What I would be concerned about if I were to receive an ileostomy before my next pregnancy would be delivery time & postpartum issues.
Many pregnant women experience their body "cleaning everything out" shortly before labour. This absolutely did trigger my IBS to act up.
Most pregnant women experience constipation after giving birth, and the first few bowl movements can be very dehydrated. I would wonder how that translates to the modified tract you have.
Every woman recovers differently postpartum, and it's different each time even for the same woman, but no woman on the face of the planet who has given birth will tell you her body has ever returned to the exact state it was before pregnancy. I've noticed that some of my abdominal fat tissue that squished upward has happily settled into a thicker ridge up near the ribs and hasn't redistributed back down. If the fat tissue stayed shifted a bit, did my organs? If I had a stoma, I would wonder if my intestines would settle so differently that the stoma behaved differently after. I've also noticed that my rib cage widened a bit and never returned. I wear a larger band size in my bras than before by 1 standard size.
Hormonal changes experienced during pregnancy can linger or even stick permanently. My mother became lactose intolerant while pregnant with me (I'm lactose intolerant) and that never changed. I used to need every blanket on my bed at night, and now I sweat in my sleep. I'm only 31, and this change coincided with pregnancy.
Late 20s is the best age for kids. Believe me, once you get into your (late) 30s you do NOT want a baby around during the night. You probably do yourself a favor, by getting this "wonderful nights" done with. :D
PS: we had our kids at 26/28/34 for my wife (+3 for me)... and believe me, there IS a difference between late twenties and mid thirties.
29 and will TTC in December, my partner and I are so sure about this and so excited, society can suck my clit.
I def understand having so many questions! But I think that this pre-time can be fun as well, learning a lot and affirming life choices. At least that's the attitude I try to keep (hello anxiety my old friend).
Sending love your way!!
I think the "she showed in a weird way" meant the bump was an unusual shape. Some people refer to a visible baby bump as "showing"
don't listen to other people, they have no idea what is going on and why bother them. Oh don't worry about "trying" as it puts more pressure you don't need, my wife and I just had fun with it after trying, and was more stressful. We had some trouble for more wife to fall pregnant, and just having fun with sex our expectation with having a baby and the stress of falling pregnant were a lot better. Good luck with it all and Hope for the best.
It is really REALLY interesting that the pouch surgery appears to affect fertility. In 2015, a woman had her ovary frozen before she had chemotherapy. Once she had finished therapy and was cancer-free some years later, the frozen ovary was thawed and replaced just under the skin of her belly. It was uncomfortable for her to wear jeans because the ovary was a lump around the waist. In a few months, doctors were going to see how well the ovary was doing and plan to replace it in it's proper home - but the woman got pregnant! The ovary was working from the other side of the abdominal wall!!! (I'll try to find the link to the podcast about this and add it as a reply to this comment.) What a robust little organ!!
While pregnancy might be the more commonly researched aspect of women's health, I personally don't think it really even helps that much. As someone who has been pregnant twice and has a baby, my experience was so dramatically different than what "research would indicate" and the doctors couldn't possibly begin to tell me why. Honestly I think pregnancy is one of those things that is SO unique to each person that even research doesn't do a great job of helping women make good decisions about their pregnancy. Pile on additional factors and you get even less clarity. I feel for ya on that. :/
Freedom is about being able to choose. Once, women were effectively required to have kids, and ideally have them early. Now we get to choose. Many people are choosing to have kids later or not at all, but if you're NOT ALLOWED to have them earlier, then it's not a choice, it's just a new form of control. Like clothes -- some people feel liberated in bikinis, some people feel liberated in niqabs, and as long as it's a free choice they should both be allowed to choose it.
This was great to watch, simply because as humans, we still know so very little about what goes on with our bodies.
Thanks for being so honest and vulnerable with us 💚
This was so interesting, even watching as someone with no experience of UC (although I have IBS) and never wants kids in their life! Would love to see a video of you deciding between J-Pouch and permanent stoma surgery, and all the pros and cons!
My colorectal surgeon told me that getting your rectum removed or creating a j-pouch will cause scar tissue to develop in the Fallopian tubes, causing difficulty for sperm to get to the eggs, but things like IVF are options because you can physically BE pregnant, it’s just the process getting there that’s difficult.
Oh my God Hannah, I like you so much! I am not disabled but I totally feel the same way about society judging women. Especially in the dating culture, I'm reluctant to talk openly about my wishes to be a mother and to be married. I'm 24 years old. I always think that I can't talk about how sincere I am about those wishes. If you are part of the dating culture (i.e. still looking for a partner), I feel like you will be judged for it by guys. Is this the reality or just my perception of the situation?
Do you have a video on why you want to go through pregnancy so much? Isn't adoption an option you'd consider? I'd be interested in hearing your input in this!
Great suggestion and that would be an amazing story - let's just wait to see Hannah produce a UA-cam video about birth whilst suffering with a stoma and autoimmune disease - show how an illness won't stop pregnancy.
Round where I live, we say 'she's showing' as a way of saying you can see she's pregnant? So she showed in a weird way means the bump looked odd or something I would've thought
Having had experience with infertility: we got through it but it took 7 years. Now you just never know because on that basis I’ve often advised some of my younger friends “not to wait too long” and I have seen them sometimes get pregnant in a month, so you never know the timing on such things. That being said, the people that got pregnant fast have awesome kids and are perfect happy :-). But the the net net is that you just never know and time is likely not on your side, so if you are really want kids, I wouldn’t wait too long (as you seem aware). But ultimately you guys have to balance these gambles yourselves and make your own decisions. Ain’t life fun? Any which way wishing you only good things!
How do you stay so positive,,, I fuckin hate my life with a stoma!
That is a lot to process, think through and deal with, and even after that you are left with a lot of significant unknowns. Thank you for your courage in sharing this very important information. Hugs!