You Don't Have To Justify Yourself to Anyone

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  • Опубліковано 24 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 118

  • @jessicashaw7143
    @jessicashaw7143 2 роки тому +34

    I'm a Trans-woman so I face this a lot. Recently I've realized others and ourselves want to justify or condemn actions. However, if there be a God or not we or they cannot justify or condemn anyone because none of us know fully what is right or wrong. It's just others want to control you. I kind of understand this now after the condemnation I've received and finding out that trying to prove yourself to others never gets you accepted. I spent more than 50 years trying to prove myself so to be accepted to find out when I did for myself I was horrible making others sad so I could be happy. So I learned being myself for myself would never be accepted by many or even my family but for sanity I have to do what I found right for me. The rejection is still hard to deal with but I like myself more now then ever in my life.

    • @melissaculpepper7663
      @melissaculpepper7663 2 роки тому +2

      There is a God and His name is Jesus. He loves you and came down to us in the form of Jesus. He did this to demonstrate His love for us. He came to save ALL from our fallen state which is that we have sinned against God’s standards. There can only be one truth; not “my truth” or “your truth”…for that is no truth at all. Jesus said that He is the way, the truth and the life. He took our place on the cross and died for our sins. Sin =death according to God. By God’s grace, He gave us His only begotten Son to take on the sins of the world. Jesus died and three days later God raised Him from the grave, freeing us from the bondage of sin. Whosoever shall call upon the Name of God shall not perish but have everlasting life. This requires us to humble ourselves and admit that we have sinned in the eyes of God. We must believe in Jesus and put our faith in Him.
      I pray that you will because that is the truth. We can all be assured that we are forgiven and will spend eternity in Heaven with Him. Jesus is the way, the truth and the life. I pray that you won’t let another minute go by until you have earnestly grappled with who you think Jesus is. Ask God to reveal Himself to you. He will!

    • @Amedo98621
      @Amedo98621 Рік тому

      @@melissaculpepper7663amen! Spot on

    • @erikalarsson
      @erikalarsson Рік тому

      ❤️

    • @erikalarsson
      @erikalarsson Рік тому

      I agree with you rejection is painful so good you keep fighting what is right for you 💗

  • @StrongBalloonChris
    @StrongBalloonChris 2 роки тому +22

    Having a tough time with anxiety right now, but then see a Julia upload and think “things can’t be so bad” ❤

  • @chrisdigitalartist
    @chrisdigitalartist 2 роки тому +12

    Hi Julia! Senior Shifter here!
    It was a pleasant surprise to see you posted this video today. I thought because there was no video yesterday, there wasn't going to be one this week.
    Thanks for the reminder!
    And as the saying goes, "You do you booboo." LOL
    To anyone and everyone reading this, remember always what a worthy and valued person you are.

  • @curtkeisler7623
    @curtkeisler7623 2 роки тому +15

    Hey. Shifter alum. I like to just thank people and tell them I'll take it into consideration. That lets them feel heard and valued without my having to discuss my point of view or perspective or decision whatsoever. A lot of the times all they're trying to do is have a conversation. A lot of times people don't mean to be in conflict they're just trying to test their own points of view against others in the world and it's just good-hearted exploration. But if you don't want to have that Exploration with them then just thanking them for their perspective and leaving it there tends to shut that down more times than not.

    • @kirstenvzumba9246
      @kirstenvzumba9246 2 роки тому

      I really like your perspective on this!! Excellent points. 😊💕

    • @juliakristinamah
      @juliakristinamah  2 роки тому

      Beautiful and gracious perspective Curt - thanks for sharing.

  • @catb8661
    @catb8661 2 роки тому +44

    Now that I'm elderly and alone, my eldest adult daughter expresses her opinions about my decisions and how I live my life. If I don't agree with her or don't go along with her ideas, I don't hear from her for months which also means I don't get to see or hear from my grandchildren either. Very selfish and frustrating.

    • @brahman-atma8839
      @brahman-atma8839 2 роки тому +6

      I've got family members like that as well.

    • @Nick-kf3io
      @Nick-kf3io 2 роки тому +17

      I’m sorry to hear that, that’s very toxic behaviour on her part, especially to keep your grandchildren from you.

    • @elizabethfindlay5752
      @elizabethfindlay5752 2 роки тому +8

      That's sad and manipulative. I'm sorry.

    • @elizabethfindlay5752
      @elizabethfindlay5752 2 роки тому +12

      @@mcooper5929 I withhold my children and myself from my parents- because they are too toxic to have them in our lives.
      I'm sure as the colour of the sky my parents make me the bad guy in all their side of the story.
      It's definitely isn't one sided toxic, sadly.
      Toxic people are always a victim

    • @elizabethfindlay5752
      @elizabethfindlay5752 2 роки тому +7

      @@mcooper5929 I don't socialize much(online or in person) these days and this takes me back a bit- so to speak but I guess where the world is at today I'm not completely shocked this victim blaming is trending. I try not assuming, but to add to conversation to add context and viewpoint.
      It breaks my heart to hear the toxic increasing in such a damaging way.
      I would do anything to work it out with my family, but They won't talk about it, literally ignore it and how I feel.
      I understand the importance of grandparents, I had rose coloured glasses on for the first yrs of my children's lives. But it didn't feel right, the way they enforced me to authoritarian parent my children or make me feel inadequate if I didn't do "what I'm supposed to do".
      Emotional education needs to be on the rise, not tiktok.
      We need to be able to bring up a viewpoint without the listener(s) getting all up in arms and offended or offensive.
      One day, I'll just keep imagining it for now.

  • @joymosley8997
    @joymosley8997 2 роки тому +4

    I love this, roll with the resistance. However sometimes we can give people too much information. The best thing to say is that's your opinion or you're entitled to your beliefs. I like to say people need to learn how to manage their own decisions.

  • @akcirapoo3569
    @akcirapoo3569 2 роки тому +4

    I don't have to justify myself to anybody....they simply don't Understand

  • @Stoicambition93
    @Stoicambition93 Місяць тому

    100% and often times the ones who disagree with your choices would rather see you miserable than happy.

  • @burningmarl5664
    @burningmarl5664 2 роки тому +9

    You are an amazing presenter. I LOVE your videos, Julia Kristina!

  • @pfa2075
    @pfa2075 4 місяці тому +1

    Julia Kristina's videos has such a huge positive impact on my life. So wise and clear. I am so grateful. Can't agree more on everything she says.

  • @jmgpknight5637
    @jmgpknight5637 2 роки тому +1

    Oh boy, did I ever need to hear this today. Thank you.

    • @Charley_breezy90
      @Charley_breezy90 Рік тому

      Feedback appreciated...👍
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      Whatapp the number above..
      Endeavor to reach out..💬

  • @chunli1623
    @chunli1623 2 роки тому +6

    I'ev been watching your videos for 2 years now..and i just wanna say thank u so much
    It really changed how i think about everything!
    God bless you! From the middle east

  • @andreagaitan7480
    @andreagaitan7480 2 роки тому +8

    Thank you so much Julia!!! I am feeling so empowered listening to your videos. I wrote like three pages of notes just with this one LOL there is a new woman rising up inside of me and it's due to people like you who walk boldly in their calling to help heal lives.

    • @juliakristinamah
      @juliakristinamah  2 роки тому

      Really glad it connected. Here's to you being more of the amazing you that you are!

  • @TaylorSwiftGleek
    @TaylorSwiftGleek Рік тому +1

    Your channel is amazing love from Ireland 🇮🇪

  • @paulchoudhury2573
    @paulchoudhury2573 2 роки тому +2

    Excellent video, as I have this issue whenever I deal with my siblings. The problem is that once I declare how I'm handling it or what my attitude is, there is judgement that effects subsequent interaction with them. My sister in particular (who is older) believes that she is wiser and that her viewpoint on an issue is sacrosanct. To keep cordial functional relationships the best option is often lying or saying nothing.
    I recommend you do a follow up that focuses on this issue when it occurs within a family.

  • @izawaniek2568
    @izawaniek2568 2 роки тому +3

    Thank you for great observations and advice.

  • @marinw2113
    @marinw2113 2 роки тому +7

    I've had issues with my in laws about my youngest son's name, how to parent the kids etc as they make rude comments and be passive aggressive so this was helpful. Thanks

  • @Kristina-cl6ug
    @Kristina-cl6ug Місяць тому

    Such a great video, thank you so much for posting it! I deal with someone who criticizes my decisions on a daily at work and knowing how to disarm her is so valuable. I will be using your quote very often.

  • @ChristinQuander
    @ChristinQuander 2 роки тому +3

    I can so relate to this. As a vegan I’m used to all these comments, too. When omnivores try to bully my diet or try to convince me of theirs, I just kindly say “agree to disagree” and change the topic. When they don’t stop there I ask whether they really want to get into the facts and pros and cons of my dietary choices and then I’m telling them that I’ll be happy to listen to what they have to say, but will, however also give them a spoiler alert that I’m pretty well-informed on the environmental dimension and have strong views on the moral, ethical and health aspects of my diet, they then mostly either spontaneously decide to drop the topic or get into it and that’s when it gets interesting :) Mostly I’m not keen on doing “vegan outreach” but sometimes ppl downright ask for it and then I’ll have that talk with them. It’s energy consuming though and I’m not always in the mood. Also, if someone is immune to facts and/or does not want to see the moral dimension of it, I also don’t try to talk them into it or anything and will again leave it at “agree to disagree” which to me is mostly the best and most diplomatic and respectful way to respect other people’s views and move on to another topic without any hard feelings on the issue.

  • @marydegiorgio9645
    @marydegiorgio9645 2 роки тому +1

    Just watched the video, and what I got was that I do not have to prove myself to anyone, before proving to myself of my self worth. I love me and I know that I am able to make my own decisions for me and what is right for me.

  • @kalpamedarametla
    @kalpamedarametla 2 місяці тому

    U saved my life... this all i ever wanted to hear at this point of time. I am sending my positive energy to you through this and ask universe to support you more.

  • @barbaraalbert5600
    @barbaraalbert5600 2 роки тому +1

    Thank you Julia, need to bring a recording in my brain of this. I will be listening again. Thank you

    • @Charley_breezy90
      @Charley_breezy90 Рік тому

      Feedback appreciated...👍
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      Endeavor to reach out..💬

  • @KateWilliam75
    @KateWilliam75 Рік тому

    Thank you so much for this video JK. I watched it twice before I told my neighbors that we are moving to another community. I suspected I would get a lot of push back but because I came from a strong, positive place the feedback was positive. I was prepared to not offer any resistance and not defend our decision as you recommended but it wasn't necessary at all. In fact, one neighbor said she is going to drive through the development where we are moving to consider it for herself!! Wow - I couldn't have anticipated THAT in a million years!

  • @louisewebster8991
    @louisewebster8991 Рік тому

    Have listened to this one a few times now. I’m so sick of feeling like I have to justify how I choose to live my life. Always great to come back to as a little pep talk. Thank you.

  • @Caroline12391
    @Caroline12391 2 роки тому +4

    Thank you so much for all your videos Julia, such wisdom and put in a really understandable and relatable way. This resonated with me as I have been vegetarian and then vegan for 33 years now and scarcely anyone else I know eats like this! In the early days I got a teased for it. Some people seem to want you to justify it, and then want to justify to you why they are meat eaters. This is very helpful advice x

  • @charletabishop1837
    @charletabishop1837 2 роки тому +2

    Just had this happened to me from a close relative really hurt because it’s none of their business help.

  • @ernieh5664
    @ernieh5664 2 роки тому +1

    Your information is so relevant, all the time. The perfect way to end each day, something to ponder on & self Improve.

    • @Charley_breezy90
      @Charley_breezy90 Рік тому

      Feedback appreciated...👍
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      Whatapp the number above..
      Endeavor to reach out..💬

  • @FelinaFairyphonic
    @FelinaFairyphonic 2 роки тому +1

    rolling with resistance is such a great concept!! thank you!!!

  • @ericseal9027
    @ericseal9027 Рік тому +1

    The story of my life. I am so tired of justifying, my personal issues, to people, who choose to be unnecessarily nosy. That and being, "Guilted Into Things." No thank you.

  • @deestraya7854
    @deestraya7854 2 роки тому +1

    I finally got your book! It took eight weeks to get it to Australia but it was well worth the wait… even if I could not participate in the review comp 😜
    Your video is such a helpful reminder to what I always felt I had to do… Big THANK YOU 🙏

    • @Charley_breezy90
      @Charley_breezy90 Рік тому

      Feedback appreciated...👍
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  • @edwardboyle1381
    @edwardboyle1381 2 роки тому +1

    Reading Drive My own Darn Bus now, I love this book! Julia's videos really make me feel awesome about myself. Listening to Julia is Awesome!

    • @Charley_breezy90
      @Charley_breezy90 Рік тому

      Feedback appreciated...👍
      Wanting more info and insight..?
      Whatapp the number above..
      Endeavor to reach out..💬

  • @gaylestewart8196
    @gaylestewart8196 2 роки тому +3

    Thank you SO much for this EXCELLENT video!! This describes my life SO much! A few years ago, I finally realized I don’t have to justify my preferences( which are actually the same examples of trying to follow a healthy lifestyle that you described in the video.) And also similar to what you mentioned, I became content in telling people that my choices “make me feel so much better, happier, and improve my overall ability to concentrate.” I know that response may defeat the purpose of avoiding explaining to others, but but it sure has “worked” for decreasing their comments!!
    Isn’t it interesting how society often looks admirably at the concept of achieving better health- - - - but once you start to do it and get great results, you almost get treated as if you are dull, boring, or even as a “party pooper!” And on the same level, if an obese person successfully loses weight, people applaud - - -but if a another person wants to avoid putting on weight, people give them a hard time!!
    Thanks, Julia- - you are an AWESOME encourager!!

  • @johnykryll
    @johnykryll 2 роки тому +1

    Great advice. There's always one or two who underhandedly bad mouth your choices. Went I hear those insidious comments or looks I'd get a horrible sinking feeling or lose my temper. Gonna really start to roll, thank you

  • @raiderlove5923
    @raiderlove5923 2 роки тому +4

    Oh my gosh, Julia. This video is very timely for me today as I am currently dealing with this issue. Thank you.

    • @juliakristinamah
      @juliakristinamah  2 роки тому +1

      Glad it came at the right time. Did you find it helpful in navigating your current situation?

  • @gabrielleju6845
    @gabrielleju6845 Рік тому

    Rolling with resistance. I like the term. This is what I do when my friend commented on what I have done. I said to her, you may be right. This is however what I think the way to be. It helps me to stay in my piece. Honestly I don't like her comments but OK, I'm happy to accept it because it is her and I respect it.

  • @MariaSantos-gm7ps
    @MariaSantos-gm7ps 2 роки тому +3

    Hello Julia Kristina thank you for your book .

  • @mersubway7816
    @mersubway7816 2 роки тому +1

    Julia ... you are so awesome!! I can tell God used your struggles to push you atop a mountain. Now what you went through helps to get me thru my struggles! Thank you thank you thank you!!

  • @rachelrene8849
    @rachelrene8849 2 роки тому +1

    THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU. I would truly like to thank you for doing what you do and sharing your personal experiences with us. I have now been watching every single video you post here for almost 3 years now. I don't want to write you a novel right now trying to explain the tremendous amount of respect I have for you and your willingness to just give us all this information to allow us to learn to heal our childhood trauma issues

  • @GWorksGrow
    @GWorksGrow Рік тому

    Thank you! Lol I have a problem watching everything to hell at work so I’m always saying somthing and people be I just come to work to do my job and it’s like I am too!! I’m just making it better for mostly me and at the end of the day it might help them and the new people that come work with us.

  • @erikalarsson
    @erikalarsson Рік тому

    I do this many times and feel so bad after so thank you iam practice to do my good for my soul .

  • @scottkrueger3747
    @scottkrueger3747 Рік тому

    thank you! so helpful ! makes me feel so good about myself

  • @lylahboling6383
    @lylahboling6383 2 роки тому +2

    Yes, there is. Oh my gosh.

  • @negcernocvet327
    @negcernocvet327 2 роки тому +1

    thank you so much!!!! this is eye opening, your videos are helping me a lot

  • @danagodfrey2979
    @danagodfrey2979 2 роки тому +1

    Awesome video thx for that was just talking about that this afternoon cheers and thx

  • @jennaseaman8395
    @jennaseaman8395 2 роки тому

    You’ve really helped me as I go through my husbands extreme mid life crises thank you for that

  • @emj6724
    @emj6724 2 роки тому

    Very insightful and very helpful.
    I just came across your channel and will be watching all your content, Thank you for what you DO!

  • @stacyj4858
    @stacyj4858 2 роки тому

    I came here because I just created a food page and Omgg, it’s always your circle passing judgement and criticism. They believe that I should share everything I make with them. Mind you, I do share and I can’t share with the same person all the time, it’s almost like people pleasing because they are selfish about it. They judge that I cook a lot and it’s me eating all of it. I am a full time student with a 45 hour work week, living alone. I do my best not to eat out. Is that a bad thing? I also exercise and not to fan myself but I look good. I think this is why they can’t wrap their minds around it as I think about it t. I eat mostly vegetables and fruit and moderate every other meal. I cook so I can have food for the week. I feel like I should always justify myself but then I take a step back and remember they are always gonna think what they want. I am mentally exhausted with them but i absolutely appreciate your great advice. I’m going to practice that.

    • @Charley_breezy90
      @Charley_breezy90 Рік тому

      Feedback appreciated...👍
      Wanting more info and insight..?
      Whatapp the number above..
      Endeavor to reach out..💬

  • @KTB77777
    @KTB77777 2 роки тому

    Thank you! (I love your hair like this too!).
    I just wish I had found you earlier on in my life!

  • @Eduardo_Music8560
    @Eduardo_Music8560 6 місяців тому

    Great video and speech. I like her much! Greetings from Sonora, México 🇲🇽.

  • @nobody86963
    @nobody86963 7 місяців тому

    Its prime toxicity when people think you are trying to people please them instead of setting a boundary.

  • @nancywohlfahrt5643
    @nancywohlfahrt5643 2 роки тому

    So glad I found your channel. Your videos are wonderful for me!
    Thank you!!!!

  • @evamussio7533
    @evamussio7533 8 місяців тому

    Quite relevant to me, thank you! 😊 ❤

  • @Elje41
    @Elje41 2 роки тому

    Thank you! Great advice.

  • @chaosmos1971
    @chaosmos1971 2 роки тому

    Thanks for the help!

    • @Charley_breezy90
      @Charley_breezy90 Рік тому

      Feedback appreciated...👍
      Wanting more info and insight..?
      Whatapp the number above..
      Endeavor to reach out..💬

  • @Dezzyyx
    @Dezzyyx 2 роки тому +1

    This doesn't solve feeling on the outside as a result of doing things your own way, or even feeling uncomfortable, anxious, lonely. When you're whole family and basically everyone in your life is not like you. My solution is I do me, but that also means I stay to myself, that's the cost. When I am with people even if I accept me and they respect it, it's still not compatible, and often awkward. The deeper consequences are alienation from the world, and low self-worth.

  • @bruceprigge5212
    @bruceprigge5212 2 роки тому

    Thank you! 🙂

  • @Michael-sy6wr
    @Michael-sy6wr 2 роки тому

    15 life changing minutes

  • @Atilaurakiss
    @Atilaurakiss Рік тому

    I have a very important question. I am an older person who graduated college just a couple years ago with a BA in accountancy. My previous (longest) employment was in an artistic production field. I am often asked during my interviews how my previous (longest) employment relates to accountancy. I find this question from interviewers frustrating because they would not ask a new graduate in their early 20s how high school or their pt job at McDonalds relates to accountancy. How do I answer to this question when I find it bias and invading?

  • @MariaSantos-gm7ps
    @MariaSantos-gm7ps 2 роки тому +1

    Thank s

  • @jenniferotalora4532
    @jenniferotalora4532 2 роки тому

    I hear myself say to my husband, “I just……”, daily. Some days I say it multiple times. Watching your videos on gaslighting, I’m pretty sure his behavior qualifies as such. When I hear myself say, “I just….”, it makes me cringe and feel like I’m losing myself! How do I stop this very annoying pattern of behavior? It sickens me that he has this power or control over me! It’s also kinda scary. 😣 I know it’s not a simple question, more rhetorical.

  • @amanikhalaf7772
    @amanikhalaf7772 2 роки тому +1

    Thanks for your amazing video, you just reminded me of an issue I try so hard to fix in me.
    However, do you think having the urge to justify stems from a cause earlier? Could it be a parent always questioning if you’re saying the truth? As an example of course.
    Would like to know your input.

  • @dddamaged7501
    @dddamaged7501 2 роки тому

    Recently heard. Don't listen to judgements from people who you would not take advice from.

    • @Charley_breezy90
      @Charley_breezy90 Рік тому

      Feedback appreciated...👍
      Wanting more info and insight..?
      Whatapp the number above..
      Endeavor to reach out..💬

  • @happyandhealthy888
    @happyandhealthy888 Рік тому

    exactly.

  • @combaticon55reviews65
    @combaticon55reviews65 2 роки тому

    We try to justify all thing that have occurrrrrrrrr rrrred!

  • @mardellethomas238
    @mardellethomas238 2 роки тому

    This kind of “rolling with it” reaction reminds me of a psychologist I listen to. His name is Dr. Doug LISLE. I have a spouse who makes fun of me all the time and I am working on my limp handshake with him.

  • @burningmarl5664
    @burningmarl5664 2 роки тому

    Btw, speaking of hair parts 8:10 yours is perfection :)

  • @brendanspencer7362
    @brendanspencer7362 Рік тому

    Hey Julia, Brendan from Melbourne Australia here. Is there a difference between me having my opinion on how someone's behaviour impacts them negatively, where I notice this and the negative consequences. However, these don't impact me directly. Is there a difference between this and commenting on someone's drinking habits, where I notice they dodn't impact them or others. I feel the first example its not neccessary for a t for example to justify because they have the choice whether to acknowledge and take responsibility for their potential maladaptive choices. I feel them justifying why they partake in the consumption of alcohol helpful because the concerned person observes potential risk to the adolescent's behaviour and well-being.

  • @karlicarver2010
    @karlicarver2010 2 роки тому +1

    I'm back again I watched one of your videos how does people use the fidget spinner and it helped

  • @axoNNNessj
    @axoNNNessj 2 роки тому

    One question, would you still keep on being secretive about it to minimise the exposure to resistance?

    • @Charley_breezy90
      @Charley_breezy90 Рік тому

      Feedback appreciated...👍
      Wanting more info and insight..?
      Whatapp the number above..
      Endeavor to reach out..💬

  • @terriwhalen3618
    @terriwhalen3618 2 роки тому

    Amen

  • @jamiewilliams8107
    @jamiewilliams8107 Рік тому

    You don't have to prove yourself to anybody either

  • @NaturalHealingAlchemist
    @NaturalHealingAlchemist 2 роки тому

    🙌🏻 👌🏻 🙌🏻

  • @pauladuncanadams1750
    @pauladuncanadams1750 2 роки тому +1

    Those rural people the same ones who deny abortions?

  • @ratzfert
    @ratzfert 2 роки тому +1

    😂 why do you justify opening your window in public 😊

  • @thomas4857
    @thomas4857 2 роки тому

    As sub I need to justify the future ownr her

  • @mapleleaf902
    @mapleleaf902 2 роки тому

    I live in US from Winnipeg, maple syrup on sausage awesome and I eat with knife and fork in my hands through the whole meal. Don't like it then don't look! Lol

  • @jessicashaw7143
    @jessicashaw7143 Рік тому

    Rhonda I know there is a God who sent his Son into the world so that all that confess and call upon his will be saved.
    The problem with religious people is they don't think it possible that God love the lowly. So they show anger to those they assume are lower than they are. They forget all have sinned also our flesh remains sinful un able to please God or want to. But we who worship Him in spirt and truth humbly He forgives and justify.

  • @Meritumas
    @Meritumas 3 місяці тому

    "nutrient dense" and "plant-based diet" - sounds like oxymoron