Good, there's something about this. Yes, I say that too, but it's not totaly true. And sometimes I will use it here on YT, but it's because I don't like the critic, rightly or not. I think I cannot agree with her on this one, sometimes you can make some use of a feedback, or really feel some connection even if someone's boots aren't as dirty as yours. She is talking about accepting our vulnerabilities, isn't that running away from them? I don't really know, but whatever I say, I can't help it and read them all anyway. Of course, I know to stay out of harm's way, subjects to be avoided include: religion, marriage, sex, conspiracies, politics and feminism even sincere... what's left? Hummmmm, I'll get back to you on this. Cheers.
@Roses and Songs She did take a brief moment to say if it's something constructive such as, "poor sentence structure" or "you forgot this literature," she wants that kind of feedback. She's ultimately talking about ignoring the "feedback" critics in the cheap seats are throwing at her saying the things insulting her looks or her family. They aren't being vulnerable. It isn't constructive, and their only intent is to try and bring her down. Usually you can tell when someone is being constructive with their criticism and trying to help you verses saying, "Less research, more botox." I hope that makes sense.
"It's not the critic who counts. It's not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done it better. The credit belongs to the person who's actually in the arena; who's face is marred with blood and sweat and dust; who, at best, in the end, knows the triumph of high achievement and who, at worst, if he fails, he fails daring greatly." A speech given by Theodore Roosevelt shared by Brene Brown. Thank you Brene - ❤️ it
"When we stop caring about what people think, we lose our capacity for connection. When we become defined by what people think, we lose our willingness to be vulnerable."
But surely you have no possibility for connection with people who give you the look that says "God, I'd hate to be you", and then they throw looks at each other and walk away. What the hell do you do then, because you don't really want that to happen to you again. I deal with a woman who is friends with everyone else in the group, but as she's said before I'm her client, so yeah I get it, she doesn't like me, but I have to interact with the others in the group that like me. But I find it frustrates me because if I state an opinion in the group, I get the look from her. It's impossible for me to feel authentic, if I'm watching my p & q's.
+Horse Mania That last line suggests that you've put yourself in the latter category with that lady. You're using her "looks" to determine whether or not you're coming off as authentic...or just to gauge if what you're saying is fine *to her* I guess. I don't understand why you'd do that...or why her opinion even matters?
It comes across as though she's finding fault with everything I say. I was just chatting the other day about how expensive something cost, and she piped up "How would you know", making me feel like an idiot and as if she was putting me in the place she thinks I belong, I am well brought up and refuse to argue in someone else's home, so I ignored her and explained to the group how I knew the information, every one went silent though when she said that, so they know what she thinks of me. Her opinion doesn't matter, but I just see her with this group of friends. Sorry if I'm rambling. Thanks for your help though.
***** Thanks that does help, I'm supposing at the moment that I tend to do my own thing, and I'm very direct, maybe that's what annoys her. I've had a lot of drama growing up, as my parents seemed addicted to it, so I've gone the opposite and avoid drama like the plague. I am interested in loads of different things, and talk a lot, maybe this drives her up the wall. Who knows.
Horse Mania "How would you know?" That just comes across as rude and condescending. I wouldn't have been able to resist an eye-roll. Kudos to you if you did.
I love the honesty when she speaks. I’m able to connect and identify with her level of transparency and to know I’m really not alone or foreign in my thought process.
My sister who is a psychologist brought this video to my attention. I am in the "arena" because I couldn't go along with the norm and sacrifice my ethics, values, and courage. I didn't realize I was creating at the same time. I am still in the "arena" and will never regret being there no matter what the outcome. My counsellor describe it, if you are going to swim with the sharks, expect to get bitten. My scars with heal; but will never regret getting in the shark tank or arena as I would have never been true to myself.
I'm a first-time filmmaker after doing 6 books. I'm here to listen to this fabulous talk AGAIN! How many times now? Really need a refresher now as some people slam my film because of their own agenda, not as constructive critics. Thank you Brene, I can now intuit the difference!
One of my UA-cam subscribers sent this to me because I am dealing with the same personal attacks on my channel. Holy cow.. i needed this. What a gift I was given today. Thank you Kelli and thank you Brene 1
Hang in there Carolyn, I am not in the rv arena but I enjoy seeing the view you share with me. Keep on doing what you love and share with us your triumphs and adventures. I have greaved with you when you lost your dog companion and understood why you needed to get away by yourself to gather your thoughts. I missed hearing that you were fine but recognized the alone time was also good. 👍
“It’s scary and dangerous to be seen” is the accidental life motto I didn’t know I was carrying around with me all these years omg. My therapist told me about this woman and I’m so so glad I felt like doing my homework ☺️
This video affected me so much - it immediately helped me analyze criticism and filter out the unnecessary/unhelpful, and led me to read her book “rising strong”. I’ve come back to it several times. Thank you for this!!
I get chills every single time I hear this quote. Another must-see video from Brene. "It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat." Theodore Roosevelt
This resonated with me so much. I am a teacher and I know it's not traditionally seen as a 'creative' profession but I create every day - lessons, assignments, activities, relationships, experiences, opportunities. This talk made me realise why I have been experiencing huge anxiety for the last three months - the vulnerability of this job is excruciating. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Teachers are SO creative! You design your classroom, what to teach and when to teach it, lesson plans, creative ways to give students incentive to keep trying... I could go on and on 😀
Your amazing quote "if you're not also in the arena getting your ass kicked, I'm not interested in your feed back" has come in handy again just now on my vlog. Thanks SO much.
I just love Brene. I got attend the workshop the Daring Way: show up/ be seen/ live brave. I am in recovery for my addiction. And it just took me to a whole new place. Sitting here and hearing this made me cry. It speaks volumes. I just found my topic for a workshop I have to do for school. Thank you for posting this.
As a women who's new to a management team of all men, you've become a voice of inspiration and strength. You're inspiration to stay calm and listen and be present for their vulnerability. You've helped me be strong and "step into the arena" to show my brains and brawn.
She's beautiful deep down to her soul and only people who can see true beauty can appreciate it fully! She's pretty on the outside but profoundly beautiful on the inside.
I am utterly in love with this woman, she can describe and de-construct human interactions in such a simple and beautiful way. It's helping me a lot with focusing on the blurred reasons of many things happened in the past months. Really, whoever is miserable enough to have only cruel comments about her look or her sarcasm popping up in his mind, after her talks, deserves to never be able to understand what she is saying. Amazing researcher.
I stopped fighting somebody else’s ghosts years ago, and it helped me staying a whole. Not understanding is ok, not willing to understand, also being mean to those who try to make them, it’s something therapy needs to address, not me, not researchers, certainly not any day people. I mean, you can try, but mostly you end up drained of your energy and good will.
This is astonishing. She transforms a lecture about vulnerability into a demonstration, a masterclass, on how to open one's heart and be vulnerable. I am in awe of her courage--it gives me strength to be courageous and vulnerable. And I am so grateful for the reality checK that "those with the cheap seats" don't have opinions that are worth my while!
I already thought her TED talk was great, but this is amazing. If I only could have heard something like this 20 or 10 years ago. I was brought up to be tough, and I was constantly told I was not good enough. My parents had the best intentions; they wanted to armor me for this harsh word. Ironically, it made me so afraid of people and failure; I hardly came out of my shell and had massive trust issues. My shyness made me an easy victim for bullying, and this experience made everything worse: So my parents were right, and people ARE horrible. I was deeply ashamed of my weakness, but I had no idea how to be a strong person without being an asshole myself. I numbed myself so badly to function, that I was even unable to experience any romantic feelings. Just the slightest criticism of my creativity would drain my enthusiasm to the point of doing nothing for years. Finally, everything is starting to make sense for me.
thank you for sharing so honestly. Let this be your time to trust yourself aggressively and step into strength. Please be encouraged, you've encouraged me:)
My monster criticized me daily and made me hard. Then she met a wonderful man who loved me as his own child and taught me that being soft and open to love, was in fact more brave and stronger than criticism and harshness. He saved me and taught me the strength in softness. I raised my child in and with total love, that is not to say I was a push over, there were appropriate boundaries and letting them fail, so they could learn to fall and not be scared of it. It is the greatest gift they said I could have given them. They are stronger than I am, with my inner critic, because their inner speech says they can do it, mine says I am a failure. Be careful how you speak to your children, it is their inner compass, make it good.
Ditto - when reading your comment I felt like you had read my mind. Thank you for being vulnerable, thank you for being strong and thank you for being authentic.
As a painter, writer, dreamer, this is so powerful. Instead of attacking the critics, thank you for daring them to step up and step into the arena to actually make a difference instead of just devastating comments. You are a POWERHOUSE. Thank you for being a pioneer.
I heard a speaker once say, "stop living like you are going to live to be 1,000 years old!" At the age of 40, that resonates with me so clearly now. This was another very powerful message from Brene'. I think you are phenomenal and I'm grateful for all of your messages that you share with the world. This message hit home for me because I am highly critical of myself often. I've done so for years and it has served me to get myself out of some not so great circumstances. Now, the thinking must shift because that mindset doesn't serve me anymore like it once did. My self talk needs to become more optimistic and I do need to find that individual that will be there for me when I desperately need them. I'm often finding that when I fall, I'm picking my self up both physically and mentally. My hope is that will change sooner than later. Thank you again Brene' for an amazing message. I took notes so that I can incorporate your message and wisdom into my life.
I always have done that! expend the energy on people who hate me or criticize me because I want to "convert" them into liking me for some reason....recently, I learned to spend more of my energy, time, and love on ppl who love me for my imperfections and already have my back! I love every talk she has! Very applicable to life.
Loving each other for our imperfections is an awesome concept and in theory it would be great to be able to love in this way. However, in practice, it’s difficult. Even loving without conditions is a high achievement. Loving loved ones’ imperfections and our own is a noble venture yet one not free from confusion and failed attempts. And what is to be done with imperfections that are toxic? Should we kindly invite them to seek counsel? Should we get out of the way when they bewilder?
Brene, you are my HERO. Your pure authenticity SHINES!!! Thank you, thank you for giving me new tools. You may never know how much I needed your message at this moment. Your EVOLVED soul, intellect, humanity ... are what the world really NEEDS.
What a beautiful spirit sent here to enlighten. When the student's ready, the teacher will appear. Thank you Brene. I'm learning how to stand in the arena.
This beautiful talk echoes the words of the ancients. We all need to hear it again and again. Thank you for your vulnerability, Brene. "Those who say it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it." --Chinese proverb
I hope you read this girl, you have given me the courage to be vulnerable, to step into the light, in spite of the critic. YOUR LIGHT HAS GIVEN ME LIGHT!
14:00 I've been a graphic designer for 11 years, and I ask myself that question all the time. We live with rejection and criticism constantly, and while those of us who make design a career learn to handle negativity that comes with our field, every now and then something gets through our armour and hurts. And then the doubts come, and it's easy to get trapped in a head cycle. I've listened to this TED talk a couple of times, and it's always a gift.
I secretly hope you read this comment, despite what you said, because you're an inspiration and you have changed my life. And I thank you so much for that.
Dear Dr. Brown, I think you rock! You inspire me, motivate me and make me proud to be a woman. I am so appreciative that you are today's role model for our young , inspired woman. Keep creating, stand proud, your vulnerability is true beauty, inside and out.
WOW, she NAILED it with the pics!!! I actually went through some tough times and kept that quote hanging up in my office....what Brene did with the pics....FANTASTIC!!!!
I played small most of my life. I was always told that I was too much. I am 50 now. I made a commitment to being more visible a week ago. Perfect timing to watch your video today 3/10/21
I had begun to lose confidence in a venture. I'm glad I saw this. Your encouragement and uplifting spirit pushes me on, and I'm sure countless others as well. Thanks for stepping up and coaxing us out into the arena. It's a scary place, but less so when you know it's not just you. Love the pic of you with the big smile, too. How radiant! Following your bliss looks good on you.
"Feel sorry for her kids"? Really? Focusing on her looks rather than her message? Seriously? People who say shit like that about someone this influential are afraid of what she has to say. She's speaking truth and they're defensively covering their ears and screaming "I WON'T HEAR THAT!" Brené, your work is phenomenal. The haters will hate. Don't bother with their comments.
Totally agree. The best ever quote I found to define haters is from Don Quixote "They're barking, Sancho, a sign that we are riding". A bit rough perhaps, but to the point. Let's keep on moving!
Brene, I recently did a TEDx talk and have read some pretty soul-crushing comments aimed at me. Thank you so much for this beautiful message. I think it's one we all need to hear. ❤️ xxx
Vulnerability is the birth place of those things that we love so much, Love, Joy, Trust, Empathy, Innovation and Creativity ! WOW the ending brought me to tears, lets all give ourselves a seat in the arena to cheers ourselves on for being courageous, even if it sucks, so that we brush ourselves off and get up again and die saying we tried, no what if....
Can't stop crying recalling childhood criticisms, "No you can't, no you're not, you'd better not, you can't take care of yourself." Recalling the painting The Scream. Yes, thank you. I can and will change my focus and my influences.
7:00 ever since she said T.R had a quote, I KNEW exactly what quote she was referring to. I kept saying it out loud to myself "I know this! I know this!" Haha I love this quote and I one day hope to memorize it. The speech part is much longer, and is about a 2 minute quote, which I hope to remember. Brene Brown is the best speaker ever. Her book is on Amazon as number one for motivational, number 3 for self-help. I love her speeches. She is amazing.
Ive played music in front of ppl for almost 15 years now, we deal with a lot of critics especially when Ive done 4 hour sets at bars. My normal reaction to any kind of negative or non-constructive criticism is to calmly ask "when is your band playing?" It acknowledges that Im aware of the critique, but lets them know Im not interested unless you also put yourself out there on a stage.
Yeah, exactly. Those people will never understand what it's like so at this point I don't even notice them anymore. I'm only interested in your feedback if you: 1. Love what I'm trying to do and have ideas to help me make it better. 2. Are a fellow creative with similar philosophies as me. Anyone outside of those two groups are completely blind to what's actually happening in the creative work we do.
WELL DONE BRENE!!!!! BEING AWARE OF ONE'S THOUGHTS AND HOW TO CONVERT THEM INTO ONE'S OWN FAVOUR IS KEY!!!!! WHEN YOU BELIEVE IN THE HIGHER POWER MOVING THROUGH YOU YOU ARE UNSTOPPABLE!!! FAITH OVER FEAR!!!
I can't thank you enough for putting this on your channel--because the reason I love what Brene says so much is that she cuts through the bullshit and talks about getting real.
OMG I have only watched 5:45 of this and am so upset to hear that people would put this wonderful person down. She is amazing and I feel very fortunate to have come across her. What she says resonates with me, and I am grateful that she is here at the same time I am!
My favorite thing to hear. Sometimes a quote just shifts something inside you. I’m here listening to this in love with the message years later. Needed this video
Tony, this is fantastic! I am in a group at my church that is studying the shape, size, and effects of racism, and one of the questions that arises is "How can I as one person do anything to fight it?" Brene Brown (also BB as I am) doesn't even suggest that you might be successful, only that you HAVE to be in the fight!! And make your voice heard!! Thanks for sharing this wisdom with us!!
This women knocks it right out of the ball park everytime for me! She hits it so perfectly on the nail! I really appreciate the way she expresses her ideas. She really has a unique ability of putting words to feelings and clearly not only expressing them but giving us leads to why and how to walk through them. Thanks, I am about to step into the arena myself and you are helping me to dare. Once again, Thank you for having shown up and letting yourself be seen, it will have inspired me and many more I suspect, to do the same. Love you for it.
Love your talks - In this particular talk. It reminded me that until recently I have confused the Critic with the Coach. I knew early on that I wasn't going to listen to the critic of my work. This allowed me to move forward, to take risks and to be what I consider fairly successful. But unfortunately, by being closed minded to what I thought was the "critic", I spent so much time trying to figure things out on my own. It was difficult for me to allow myself to see the difference between the Coach and the critic. By not being open to what others had to say, I have missed so many opportunities to listen to the Coach who actually had a gift to share with me. However, by allowing myself to be vulnerable, and to listening to what others, I am no longer afraid or devastated by the "Critic". By knowing my own truth about myself and that I am OK, even when I trip and fall, am bruised and bent, I still have the strength to allow me to decide if I am being coached or just criticized. I am glad you reminded me of this. It takes constant work. It's like exercising a muscle. Thanks for sharing your talks.
First of all, you don't need botox, and you're a fantastic speaker. I started to watch TED talks this evening because I needed a lift from my wife telling me I deserve someone better just before she left. I don't think that at all. I have now watched three of your talks, and feel better. I don't know if I can win her back, but I feel like I can wade into the arena and try. THANKS
Brene brown is a beautiful intelligent woman. She should hear more of her beauty. But as women people make digs at our appearance when we want to apear as smart or honest or knowledgeable, because they want us to look more surface level than deep into the strength and information of her mind. She is gorgeous. But talking about ones intelligence when that is your focus is a better compliment to any woman. Comments to your character and depth of your ability of comprehension and understanding ( and mastering of a skill) is more important to women than commets to our beauty. ❤️
Absolutely amazing. I've been searching for these words since I did my first big speech in front of 300 people and was faced with extreme self critic and shame. What an incredible human being. Thanks for the commitment and vulnerability to do this important work. With love from South Africa ❤️🇿🇦🙏
It's really hard to battle against put-downs from the critics who don't do anything from their seats. This is truly inspiring, especially for someone like me who thought numbing his or her creative potentials to avoid negative comments in life would be easier, but in reality only makes them sad. Props to Brene, a true life saver and paradigm shift.
A must-see video for anyone who wants to be in the arena. Thank you, Brene for the inspiration and encouragement. Please continue to speak to elevate our best selves!
Yes !!! A good thought is also, what someone thinks of you is their problem, how you respond to it is your's.....not sure who said it, but it is a good position to take....
You're helping me right now Brene. I'm making a change from a job that I love where two bosses are abusive, negative and unsupportive as NOTHING is good enough for them. They are heavily invested in the company and they are panicked over money. I am working to find another job and to be happy to go to work once again. I don't need this crap. It's not about me, only them. No-one is happy at this company because of these two people. It's a shame. It's a group company otherwise. Thanks for doing what you're doing.
In the midst of making a career change from career prosecutor to hypnotherapist. I have this on a repeating loop! Thanks, Brene. You are frickin' awesome!
Hi Kris... appreciate your courage.. myself after almost 23 years of recovery from Drugs/alcoholism,continues to learn from people like Dr Brene, learning in recovery that vulnerability is so important to my peacefulness... continued success and I hope to stay in touch Jorge 8/16/1984...
Fantastic!! Blew me out of the water!! Brene, thank you for unpacking this aspect of our lives. As a Fab50s, I am so there with alot of reflection and the temptation to not show up after a lifetime of doing so even though it was scary, intimidating, unknown. The battle bruises were getting to me and it has been tempting to stay in that waiting area before entering into the arena. However, thanks to the people who love me despite of...I've kept going. Your message was timely especially as a way to understand what is actually happening in this phase of my life. I am so excited about what is to come. Thanks!
The critics have a seat because it's part of their journey to play these roles at this time. They have their own lessons to learn, we are all connected. Grounding myself allows me the courage to be vulnerable and carry out the journey I'm here for. I live in the present. I will learn my lessons alongside those who are also brave enough to share with me. 🙏
Favorite quote: "if you're not also in the arena getting your ass kicked, I'm not interested in your feed back"
Good, there's something about this. Yes, I say that too, but it's not totaly true. And sometimes I will use it here on YT, but it's because I don't like the critic, rightly or not. I think I cannot agree with her on this one, sometimes you can make some use of a feedback, or really feel some connection even if someone's boots aren't as dirty as yours. She is talking about accepting our vulnerabilities, isn't that running away from them? I don't really know, but whatever I say, I can't help it and read them all anyway. Of course, I know to stay out of harm's way, subjects to be avoided include: religion, marriage, sex, conspiracies, politics and feminism even sincere... what's left? Hummmmm, I'll get back to you on this. Cheers.
@Roses and Songs She did take a brief moment to say if it's something constructive such as, "poor sentence structure" or "you forgot this literature," she wants that kind of feedback. She's ultimately talking about ignoring the "feedback" critics in the cheap seats are throwing at her saying the things insulting her looks or her family. They aren't being vulnerable. It isn't constructive, and their only intent is to try and bring her down. Usually you can tell when someone is being constructive with their criticism and trying to help you verses saying, "Less research, more botox." I hope that makes sense.
🙏🏻🙏🏻❤️❤️
Agree!!!
This changed my outlook...it's groundbreaking....I hope for you too
“I see you, I hear you, and I’m going to do this anyways” helps me a lot
I hope you still remember this.
Brene Brown is one of the most important voices in American mental health today.
Yes her words hit me right in the gut
Just mental health generally, I feel. But she is most definitely doing amazing work.
Global mental health I think!
Your voice is the most important? 🤔🙏👍
Totally
"It's not the critic who counts. It's not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done it better. The credit belongs to the person who's actually in the arena; who's face is marred with blood and sweat and dust; who, at best, in the end, knows the triumph of high achievement and who, at worst, if he fails, he fails daring greatly."
A speech given by Theodore Roosevelt shared by Brene Brown. Thank you Brene - ❤️ it
"When we stop caring about what people think, we lose our capacity for connection. When we become defined by what people think, we lose our willingness to be vulnerable."
But surely you have no possibility for connection with people who give you the look that says "God, I'd hate to be you", and then they throw looks at each other and walk away. What the hell do you do then, because you don't really want that to happen to you again. I deal with a woman who is friends with everyone else in the group, but as she's said before I'm her client, so yeah I get it, she doesn't like me, but I have to interact with the others in the group that like me. But I find it frustrates me because if I state an opinion in the group, I get the look from her. It's impossible for me to feel authentic, if I'm watching my p & q's.
+Horse Mania That last line suggests that you've put yourself in the latter category with that lady. You're using her "looks" to determine whether or not you're coming off as authentic...or just to gauge if what you're saying is fine *to her* I guess. I don't understand why you'd do that...or why her opinion even matters?
It comes across as though she's finding fault with everything I say. I was just chatting the other day about how expensive something cost, and she piped up "How would you know", making me feel like an idiot and as if she was putting me in the place she thinks I belong, I am well brought up and refuse to argue in someone else's home, so I ignored her and explained to the group how I knew the information, every one went silent though when she said that, so they know what she thinks of me. Her opinion doesn't matter, but I just see her with this group of friends. Sorry if I'm rambling. Thanks for your help though.
***** Thanks that does help, I'm supposing at the moment that I tend to do my own thing, and I'm very direct, maybe that's what annoys her. I've had a lot of drama growing up, as my parents seemed addicted to it, so I've gone the opposite and avoid drama like the plague. I am interested in loads of different things, and talk a lot, maybe this drives her up the wall. Who knows.
Horse Mania "How would you know?" That just comes across as rude and condescending. I wouldn't have been able to resist an eye-roll. Kudos to you if you did.
I love the honesty when she speaks. I’m able to connect and identify with her level of transparency and to know I’m really not alone or foreign in my thought process.
"Sometimes when you hear something - when you need to hear it - and you're ready ot hear it - something shifts inside of you..." 4.08 awesome...
In a world of so much fake spirituality, Brene brings true enlightenment and growth. I appreciate her greatly.
"If your not in the arena getting your assed kicked, i am not interested in your feed back." I love this!!!!!!!
My sister who is a psychologist brought this video to my attention. I am in the "arena" because I couldn't go along with the norm and sacrifice my ethics, values, and courage. I didn't realize I was creating at the same time. I am still in the "arena" and will never regret being there no matter what the outcome. My counsellor describe it, if you are going to swim with the sharks, expect to get bitten. My scars with heal; but will never regret getting in the shark tank or arena as I would have never been true to myself.
I think that's it, .... that's the last of all the motivation I needed...come Monday, I'm gonna start my business, ... I adore this lady.
God bless you 💓
i hope she reads these comments cause she NAILED IT.
"If you're not in the arena, ALSO getting your ass kicked, I'm not interested your feedback..."
Truer words couldn't have been spoken better...
I'm a first-time filmmaker after doing 6 books. I'm here to listen to this fabulous talk AGAIN! How many times now? Really need a refresher now as some people slam my film because of their own agenda, not as constructive critics. Thank you Brene, I can now intuit the difference!
One of my UA-cam subscribers sent this to me because I am dealing with the same personal attacks on my channel. Holy cow.. i needed this. What a gift I was given today.
Thank you Kelli and thank you Brene 1
Hang in there Carolyn, I am not in the rv arena but I enjoy seeing the view you share with me. Keep on doing what you love and share with us your triumphs and adventures. I have greaved with you when you lost your dog companion and understood why you needed to get away by yourself to gather your thoughts. I missed hearing that you were fine but recognized the alone time was also good. 👍
These messages make me smile, humanity is alive.
“It’s scary and dangerous to be seen” is the accidental life motto I didn’t know I was carrying around with me all these years omg. My therapist told me about this woman and I’m so so glad I felt like doing my homework ☺️
This video affected me so much - it immediately helped me analyze criticism and filter out the unnecessary/unhelpful, and led me to read her book “rising strong”. I’ve come back to it several times. Thank you for this!!
I get chills every single time I hear this quote. Another must-see video from Brene.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat." Theodore Roosevelt
Most excellent! Thank you, Smeeta!
You are most welcome Mark! Glad you liked it.
Thanks
It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
My top 3 of lifetime quotes. Thank you for posting.
Gosh Brené, you are something else..this never gets old or irrelevant..keep up the good good work..
This resonated with me so much. I am a teacher and I know it's not traditionally seen as a 'creative' profession but I create every day - lessons, assignments, activities, relationships, experiences, opportunities. This talk made me realise why I have been experiencing huge anxiety for the last three months - the vulnerability of this job is excruciating. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Teachers are SO creative! You design your classroom, what to teach and when to teach it, lesson plans, creative ways to give students incentive to keep trying... I could go on and on 😀
You guys are creative magicians!
Teachers are Angels. They really are
And thank YOU for teaching. Such a noble job.
❤️❤️❤️
Your amazing quote "if you're not also in the arena getting your ass kicked, I'm not interested in your feed back" has come in handy again just now on my vlog. Thanks SO much.
Wish I were able to"like" this over and over again. Instead, I'm on my 2nd time watching in 2 hours. Brilliant take aways.
Renee Clemencia
Me too.
rENEE: i'LL LIKE FOR YOU!
You're awesome! Personal attacks indeed expose the weaknesses of the attacker, not of the victim.
🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
that theodore roosevelt quote brings me to tears every time, its that deep i love it
Love this lady...
"When you armor up against vulnerability you shut yourself off"
Brene, when I'm ready to be in the arena, I will reserve a seat for my critics. thank you !
I just love Brene. I got attend the workshop the Daring Way: show up/ be seen/ live brave. I am in recovery for my addiction. And it just took me to a whole new place. Sitting here and hearing this made me cry. It speaks volumes. I just found my topic for a workshop I have to do for school. Thank you for posting this.
As a women who's new to a management team of all men, you've become a voice of inspiration and strength. You're inspiration to stay calm and listen and be present for their vulnerability. You've helped me be strong and "step into the arena" to show my brains and brawn.
This woman is amazing. It truly shocks me that anyone would criticize her looks! She is beautiful!
She's beautiful deep down to her soul and only people who can see true beauty can appreciate it fully! She's pretty on the outside but profoundly beautiful on the inside.
Morgan King
How wonderful that you see that truth ~ must be who you are :)
I am utterly in love with this woman, she can describe and de-construct human interactions in such a simple and beautiful way. It's helping me a lot with focusing on the blurred reasons of many things happened in the past months. Really, whoever is miserable enough to have only cruel comments about her look or her sarcasm popping up in his mind, after her talks, deserves to never be able to understand what she is saying. Amazing researcher.
I think it's indeed THEM who need to get the chance to understand her the most.
„Love the most those who deserve it the least.“ ☺️
Va Ness "Love the most those who deserve it the least". why?
I stopped fighting somebody else’s ghosts years ago, and it helped me staying a whole. Not understanding is ok, not willing to understand, also being mean to those who try to make them, it’s something therapy needs to address, not me, not researchers, certainly not any day people. I mean, you can try, but mostly you end up drained of your energy and good will.
@@pemuda7075 because they badley need it the most
This is astonishing. She transforms a lecture about vulnerability into a demonstration, a masterclass, on how to open one's heart and be vulnerable. I am in awe of her courage--it gives me strength to be courageous and vulnerable. And I am so grateful for the reality checK that "those with the cheap seats" don't have opinions that are worth my while!
I already thought her TED talk was great, but this is amazing. If I only could have heard something like this 20 or 10 years ago. I was brought up to be tough, and I was constantly told I was not good enough. My parents had the best intentions; they wanted to armor me for this harsh word. Ironically, it made me so afraid of people and failure; I hardly came out of my shell and had massive trust issues. My shyness made me an easy victim for bullying, and this experience made everything worse: So my parents were right, and people ARE horrible. I was deeply ashamed of my weakness, but I had no idea how to be a strong person without being an asshole myself. I numbed myself so badly to function, that I was even unable to experience any romantic feelings. Just the slightest criticism of my creativity would drain my enthusiasm to the point of doing nothing for years. Finally, everything is starting to make sense for me.
Some people are horrible, some people are scared. may you find the ones who are interested in your success, your happiness and who love you as you are
thank you for sharing so honestly. Let this be your time to trust yourself aggressively and step into strength. Please be encouraged, you've encouraged me:)
I'm so glad you've gained more clarity! Shame suffocates. Befriending our shame is our ticket to freedom!
My monster criticized me daily and made me hard. Then she met a wonderful man who loved me as his own child and taught me that being soft and open to love, was in fact more brave and stronger than criticism and harshness. He saved me and taught me the strength in softness. I raised my child in and with total love, that is not to say I was a push over, there were appropriate boundaries and letting them fail, so they could learn to fall and not be scared of it. It is the greatest gift they said I could have given them. They are stronger than I am, with my inner critic, because their inner speech says they can do it, mine says I am a failure. Be careful how you speak to your children, it is their inner compass, make it good.
Ditto - when reading your comment I felt like you had read my mind. Thank you for being vulnerable, thank you for being strong and thank you for being authentic.
As a painter, writer, dreamer, this is so powerful. Instead of attacking the critics, thank you for daring them to step up and step into the arena to actually make a difference instead of just devastating comments. You are a POWERHOUSE. Thank you for being a pioneer.
I heard a speaker once say, "stop living like you are going to live to be 1,000 years old!" At the age of 40, that resonates with me so clearly now. This was another very powerful message from Brene'. I think you are phenomenal and I'm grateful for all of your messages that you share with the world. This message hit home for me because I am highly critical of myself often. I've done so for years and it has served me to get myself out of some not so great circumstances. Now, the thinking must shift because that mindset doesn't serve me anymore like it once did. My self talk needs to become more optimistic and I do need to find that individual that will be there for me when I desperately need them. I'm often finding that when I fall, I'm picking my self up both physically and mentally. My hope is that will change sooner than later. Thank you again Brene' for an amazing message. I took notes so that I can incorporate your message and wisdom into my life.
I always have done that! expend the energy on people who hate me or criticize me because I want to "convert" them into liking me for some reason....recently, I learned to spend more of my energy, time, and love on ppl who love me for my imperfections and already have my back! I love every talk she has! Very applicable to life.
5 cc xx. 7
Kimmehface very well said! 👏🏻
Loving each other for our imperfections is an awesome concept and in theory it would be great to be able to love in this way. However, in practice, it’s difficult. Even loving without conditions is a high achievement. Loving loved ones’ imperfections and our own is a noble venture yet one not free from confusion and failed attempts. And what is to be done with imperfections that are toxic? Should we kindly invite them to seek counsel? Should we get out of the way when they bewilder?
Getting ready to go into "the arena". This is perfect. Thank you ❤
" what anyone thinks of me is none of my business" this is a phrase I keep reminding myself
And the tears flow.
You nailed this!!! Thank you for all your work and just being you ❤️
Brene, you are my HERO. Your pure authenticity SHINES!!! Thank you, thank you for giving me new tools. You may never know how much I needed your message at this moment. Your EVOLVED soul, intellect, humanity ... are what the world really NEEDS.
What a beautiful spirit sent here to enlighten. When the student's ready, the teacher will appear. Thank you Brene. I'm learning how to stand in the arena.
This beautiful talk echoes the words of the ancients. We all need to hear it again and again. Thank you for your vulnerability, Brene.
"Those who say it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it." --Chinese proverb
You have absolutely no idea how much I needed this!
I hope you read this girl, you have given me the courage to be vulnerable, to step into the light, in spite of the critic. YOUR LIGHT HAS GIVEN ME LIGHT!
14:00 I've been a graphic designer for 11 years, and I ask myself that question all the time. We live with rejection and criticism constantly, and while those of us who make design a career learn to handle negativity that comes with our field, every now and then something gets through our armour and hurts. And then the doubts come, and it's easy to get trapped in a head cycle.
I've listened to this TED talk a couple of times, and it's always a gift.
I secretly hope you read this comment, despite what you said, because you're an inspiration and you have changed my life. And I thank you so much for that.
Dear Dr. Brown,
I think you rock! You inspire me, motivate me and make me proud to be a woman.
I am so appreciative that you are today's role model for our young , inspired woman.
Keep creating, stand proud, your vulnerability is true beauty, inside and out.
AMEN!! If you are not in the arena getting your ass kicked, I don't want your feedback. YES!!
Her honesty is refreshing and so much more helpful than it would have been if she hadn't been extremely honest.
This was the most powerful speech I have ever heard in my life. Thank you Brene...
WOW, she NAILED it with the pics!!! I actually went through some tough times and kept that quote hanging up in my office....what Brene did with the pics....FANTASTIC!!!!
Brene Brown is a GENIUS!!! I wish she could be my therapist!!!
I played small most of my life. I was always told that I was too much. I am 50 now. I made a commitment to being more visible a week ago. Perfect timing to watch your video today 3/10/21
I can completely relate!
Brene Brown is courageous, beautiful, and a great role model!! So inspirational!!
I had begun to lose confidence in a venture. I'm glad I saw this. Your encouragement and uplifting spirit pushes me on, and I'm sure countless others as well. Thanks for stepping up and coaxing us out into the arena. It's a scary place, but less so when you know it's not just you. Love the pic of you with the big smile, too. How radiant! Following your bliss looks good on you.
"Feel sorry for her kids"? Really? Focusing on her looks rather than her message? Seriously?
People who say shit like that about someone this influential are afraid of what she has to say. She's speaking truth and they're defensively covering their ears and screaming "I WON'T HEAR THAT!"
Brené, your work is phenomenal. The haters will hate. Don't bother with their comments.
Amen!
Totally agree. The best ever quote I found to define haters is from Don Quixote "They're barking, Sancho, a sign that we are riding". A bit rough perhaps, but to the point. Let's keep on moving!
& Whats funny is that they would never say that to a man.
@@angelanikki14 so true. When they see a woman so influential they want to bring her down because they can’t reach her.
Brene, I recently did a TEDx talk and have read some pretty soul-crushing comments aimed at me. Thank you so much for this beautiful message. I think it's one we all need to hear. ❤️ xxx
Vulnerability is the birth place of those things that we love so much, Love, Joy, Trust, Empathy, Innovation and Creativity ! WOW the ending brought me to tears, lets all give ourselves a seat in the arena to cheers ourselves on for being courageous, even if it sucks, so that we brush ourselves off and get up again and die saying we tried, no what if....
Can't stop crying recalling childhood criticisms, "No you can't, no you're not, you'd better not, you can't take care of yourself." Recalling the painting The Scream. Yes, thank you. I can and will change my focus and my influences.
Brene, Brene, Brene, THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! Over and over and over. Your talks help me relax.
7:00 ever since she said T.R had a quote, I KNEW exactly what quote she was referring to. I kept saying it out loud to myself "I know this! I know this!"
Haha I love this quote and I one day hope to memorize it. The speech part is much longer, and is about a 2 minute quote, which I hope to remember.
Brene Brown is the best speaker ever. Her book is on Amazon as number one for motivational, number 3 for self-help. I love her speeches. She is amazing.
Brene Brown, I could watch and listen all day:)
Thank you for such an inspiring conference! Yes to courage and yes to action! I don't want to end my life with regrets!
Ive played music in front of ppl for almost 15 years now, we deal with a lot of critics especially when Ive done 4 hour sets at bars. My normal reaction to any kind of negative or non-constructive criticism is to calmly ask "when is your band playing?" It acknowledges that Im aware of the critique, but lets them know Im not interested unless you also put yourself out there on a stage.
#whataresponse!!!
Yeah, exactly. Those people will never understand what it's like so at this point I don't even notice them anymore. I'm only interested in your feedback if you:
1. Love what I'm trying to do and have ideas to help me make it better.
2. Are a fellow creative with similar philosophies as me.
Anyone outside of those two groups are completely blind to what's actually happening in the creative work we do.
WELL DONE BRENE!!!!! BEING AWARE OF ONE'S THOUGHTS AND HOW TO CONVERT THEM INTO ONE'S OWN FAVOUR IS KEY!!!!! WHEN YOU BELIEVE IN THE HIGHER POWER MOVING THROUGH YOU YOU ARE UNSTOPPABLE!!! FAITH OVER FEAR!!!
Goosebumps when you read that quote, love your work
I nearly burst into tears when she said towards the end “what if I would’ve shown up?” Damn that was powerful
I can't thank you enough for putting this on your channel--because the reason I love what Brene says so much is that she cuts through the bullshit and talks about getting real.
Brene Brown. I think you're really pretty and brilliant at what you do. Never mind the haters. You go girl! xxx
I'm sorry to say, I have never heard this wonderful person speak. You are beautiful! I absolutely love your wisdom. Thank you.
OMG she made me cry. That quote healed me.
This lady is awesome. I battle shame every day... I can't hear her talk enough.
OMG I have only watched 5:45 of this and am so upset to hear that people would put this wonderful person down. She is amazing and I feel very fortunate to have come across her. What she says resonates with me, and I am grateful that she is here at the same time I am!
My favorite thing to hear. Sometimes a quote just shifts something inside you. I’m here listening to this in love with the message years later. Needed this video
Her lectures are spot on! Thank you!
Great message! Thank you.
Tony, this is fantastic! I am in a group at my church that is studying the shape, size, and effects of racism, and one of the questions that arises is "How can I as one person do anything to fight it?" Brene Brown (also BB as I am) doesn't even suggest that you might be successful, only that you HAVE to be in the fight!! And make your voice heard!! Thanks for sharing this wisdom with us!!
Thank you Brene for your inspirational words...great speaker and so true..love The Man in the Arena...great verse!
What you do helps so many. Thankyou ❤🙏
Pure courage, intelligence, humour and beauty. Thank you, Brené. Your lessons are invaluable to me.
This women knocks it right out of the ball park everytime for me! She hits it so perfectly on the nail! I really appreciate the way she expresses her ideas. She really has a unique ability of putting words to feelings and clearly not only expressing them but giving us leads to why and how to walk through them. Thanks, I am about to step into the arena myself and you are helping me to dare. Once again, Thank you for having shown up and letting yourself be seen, it will have inspired me and many more I suspect, to do the same. Love you for it.
7:31 "Show up and be seen"-now that's life-changing.
Love your talks - In this particular talk. It reminded me that until recently I have confused the Critic with the Coach. I knew early on that I wasn't going to listen to the critic of my work. This allowed me to move forward, to take risks and to be what I consider fairly successful. But unfortunately, by being closed minded to what I thought was the "critic", I spent so much time trying to figure things out on my own. It was difficult for me to allow myself to see the difference between the Coach and the critic. By not being open to what others had to say, I have missed so many opportunities to listen to the Coach who actually had a gift to share with me. However, by allowing myself to be vulnerable, and to listening to what others, I am no longer afraid or devastated by the "Critic". By knowing my own truth about myself and that I am OK, even when I trip and fall, am bruised and bent, I still have the strength to allow me to decide if I am being coached or just criticized. I am glad you reminded me of this. It takes constant work. It's like exercising a muscle. Thanks for sharing your talks.
Great distinction!
First of all, you don't need botox, and you're a fantastic speaker. I started to watch TED talks this evening because I needed a lift from my wife telling me I deserve someone better just before she left. I don't think that at all. I have now watched three of your talks, and feel better. I don't know if I can win her back, but I feel like I can wade into the arena and try. THANKS
Love this message. Something I will listen to again and take in for my own life.
im ready to square up with ANYONE sending hate to brené 😤funny enough, those people are the ones who could benefit the most from her research. 🤥
Brene brown is a beautiful intelligent woman. She should hear more of her beauty. But as women people make digs at our appearance when we want to apear as smart or honest or knowledgeable, because they want us to look more surface level than deep into the strength and information of her mind. She is gorgeous. But talking about ones intelligence when that is your focus is a better compliment to any woman. Comments to your character and depth of your ability of comprehension and understanding ( and mastering of a skill) is more important to women than commets to our beauty. ❤️
This talk just gave me a third eye of seeing and understanding the creative world. Thank you Brene!
Absolutely amazing. I've been searching for these words since I did my first big speech in front of 300 people and was faced with extreme self critic and shame. What an incredible human being. Thanks for the commitment and vulnerability to do this important work. With love from South Africa ❤️🇿🇦🙏
“Pay no attention to what the critics say; no statue has ever been erected to a critic.”
-Jean Sibelius, Finnish composer
It's really hard to battle against put-downs from the critics who don't do anything from their seats. This is truly inspiring, especially for someone like me who thought numbing his or her creative potentials to avoid negative comments in life would be easier, but in reality only makes them sad. Props to Brene, a true life saver and paradigm shift.
A must-see video for anyone who wants to be in the arena. Thank you, Brene for the inspiration and encouragement. Please continue to speak to elevate our best selves!
Yes !!! A good thought is also, what someone thinks of you is their problem, how you respond to it is your's.....not sure who said it, but it is a good position to take....
You're helping me right now Brene. I'm making a change from a job that I love where two bosses are abusive, negative and unsupportive as NOTHING is good enough for them. They are heavily invested in the company and they are panicked over money. I am working to find another job and to be happy to go to work once again. I don't need this crap. It's not about me, only them. No-one is happy at this company because of these two people. It's a shame. It's a group company otherwise. Thanks for doing what you're doing.
In the midst of making a career change from career prosecutor to hypnotherapist. I have this on a repeating loop! Thanks, Brene. You are frickin' awesome!
Hi Kris... appreciate your courage.. myself after almost 23 years of recovery from Drugs/alcoholism,continues to learn from people like Dr Brene, learning in recovery that vulnerability is so important to my peacefulness... continued success and I hope to stay in touch
Jorge 8/16/1984...
You are absolutely beautiful inside and out Dr. Brene!! I am sooo grateful that you are here 🙏🕉❤️💓💖
What a gift she is to us all
Fantastic!! Blew me out of the water!! Brene, thank you for unpacking this aspect of our lives. As a Fab50s, I am so there with alot of reflection and the temptation to not show up after a lifetime of doing so even though it was scary, intimidating, unknown. The battle bruises were getting to me and it has been tempting to stay in that waiting area before entering into the arena. However, thanks to the people who love me despite of...I've kept going. Your message was timely especially as a way to understand what is actually happening in this phase of my life. I am so excited about what is to come. Thanks!
The critics have a seat because it's part of their journey to play these roles at this time. They have their own lessons to learn, we are all connected. Grounding myself allows me the courage to be vulnerable and carry out the journey I'm here for. I live in the present. I will learn my lessons alongside those who are also brave enough to share with me. 🙏