Narcissists Have No Limits
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- Опубліковано 6 сер 2024
- In this episode of the Meditations & More podcast, The Little Shaman explains why many narcissistic people are willing to go so far with their behavior.
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Only victims of narcissistic abuse will truly understand, and even we are shaking our heads in disbelief. We get it and yet we don’t. It’s truly unbelievable the new lows these people will go to.
Robin Donnelly I know. A narc drove at me. I called the Police(she denied it). Then her mother called the police to complain that I had called the police on her daughter who had driven at me! Mind-blowing.
Yes
How can anyone understand it if they haven't experienced it, when people that have experienced it can't even explain it
@@kathryndyer926the police is only there to protect the narcs not the real people
They will put your children, family and friends against you. They will sit back and enjoy watching you break then say oh aren’t you troubled!? Absolute creatures!
They will throw their bad behaviour on you as though you were the perpetrator. It's sickening.
Yep. Total DARVO. You cannot reason with them, because they are not reasonable.
My nark mother stole16 thousand bucks from me, turned it around and was pissed at me for closing MY OWN ba k account. Is she blind to the absurdity here?
@@Misses-Hippy the only thing she sees is that she is a victim.
Diane the Invisible How was she supposed to get more money out of your account if you closed it?
@@clod8 maybe her mother withdrew the money before Diane closed the account.
Narcs are really sick people! Education on this disorder is so helpful. You start to uncover them and they are everywhere!
Pure evil
Like cockroaches in the walls above a donut shop.
This is a very powerful clarification about how twisted narcs personalize and react to the most obscure threat or sense of wrongdoing. When angry, narcs can come across like sick, wild animals, totally out of control, ready to rip you into shreds. This is clearly abusive behavior and if the narc shows it once, you better believe, he's going to show it again and again, with even greater force and intensity. Save yourself the trauma--get away and stay away from these dysfunctional loose cannons!
You said it well. It truly sends waves of an eiry variety when you have seen this kind of narcissist rage. Witnessing such hatred and seething rage, sends your brain into that Holy fuck I have to get out of here as fast as I can mode.
They are without conscious
Void of empathy
Void of love
they aren't going to spare a life in a rage if they decide they want to end a life.
All in the name of sport for a narcissist.
@@shawnmarie1912 Yes. It's one of the reasons they are held responsible for crimes that they commit. They know the difference between right and wrong very well. It's just that in their opinion, they're not wrong.
@@thelittleshamanhealing You can tell they know by the way they sneer and gloat when they hurt your feelings-they savor the wickedness of it like a mustache-twirling villain in a silent melodrama.
"It's just that in their opinion, they're not wrong."
And of course their opinion is all that matters, they take it as objective fact and can't see anything beyond it.
Over, and over and over again. And when their antics explode in their face, they run to their enabler(s), who will guilt you endlessly for having your own limits for how much you're willing to tolerate. The enabker KNOWS you aren't crazy, making it up or wrong, they just think you're selfish, mean, entitled and unreasonable. Their world is a house of mirrors where you are continually off-balance, unsure of what you heard, what was meant, what's important, what is true.
Only one solution: get out of the house of mirrors a.s.a.p.! You can stand outside, if you have to, and talk to them from there. Just never, ever expose your inner self, thoughts, feelings, fears, hopes, dreams, opinions, etc. to them or you'll be walking back inside. It helps me to tell my inner voice "So what? What's the worst thing that could happen right now?" when I feel myself thinking, "She's mad/upset/worried, whatever." Everything is a manipulation, nothing is genuine. Let go of the tug-of-war rope and it ends right there. They take their miserable game elsewhere.
This is absolutely true💯 RUN🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️
I do NOT miss dealing with this kind of person. This merry go round of crazy causes so much stress in their partner. The defensiveness was so INSANE!
They are lunatics!
Especialy when its full moon!
@@tonykuli yep, bat shit crazy then!
Cea Jae Sick, evil, sadistic, empty meat suits! (Kim Wilson)!
This is so funny. One I know always brings up a full moon as an excuse for her behavior. Maybe your on to something lol
In a nutshell!
As long as they benefit in some way, there is practically no depth they wont sink to. Supply is EVERYTHING to them. Nothing else matters at all.
Absolutely True!
Very true cut #FACTS
It's so tough that I have to remember that I am a supply to him. I keep thinking I am a loving person. Apparently there is no such thing for narcissists. It makes me terribly sad.
@@ananascarpenter 'Sad?' You've too much idle time. Step 1. Improve your life.
Their ego
LOVE when I get on UA-cam and see that familiar red screen with a title followed by "*NEW*"
Repetition key to learning.
The one who loves them the most gets treated the worst.
You cover every crevice of this disorder and only we as Narcissistic Abuse victims understand. Thank you for helping us again to understand how deep this is.
It's very difficult for a person who has never gone through this to actually understand I tried to have a conversation about this with one woman and she said oh I would never subject myself to that I would never fall for that I tried to explain to her the deregulation process and the brainwashing she could not understand the concept you have to actually go through this to truly understand the levels of abuse and the painstaking effort that the narcissist takes to slowly break a person down
Franklin Bujans , only victims understand unfortunately. I don’t attempt anymore. I forward videos from the UA-cam community.
@@CS-iv8tk that's okay you don't have to try especially explain yourself to the flying monkeys that are part of the narcissistic abuse just break free go no contact move on with your life and no matter how many people try to coach you into that emotional rollercoaster by accusing you or projecting all their insecurities onto you don't bother with it just move on I stopped a long time ago trying to convince people or prove things to people especially my family but then many years later I found myself showing them my new house standing next to my new wonderful and beautiful wife talking about how great my career is so you see I didn't have to prove anything I just had to stand there I just had to exist I just had to find peace Within Myself they were actually quite surprised how life turned out for me especially when many many years ago through years and years of deregulation and gaslighting I was an emotional mess that suffered from anxiety issues imagine everyone including your own family looking at you like well yeah you know that's him to wow you really did well for yourself we're proud of you I guess everything everyone said about you was wrong I didn't need their validation I did not need their approval and that's when I started succeeding in life if you call that succeeding do you know how I succeeded my true success I just said that I would no longer tolerate people abusing me and I made boundaries for myself I developed a sense of being a spirituality I need peace Within Myself and I stop being a victim I took responsibility for myself yes the abuse that the narcissist did to me was wrong but allowing myself to be abused by The Narcissist was also wrong one can even say is that I enabled the narcissist I know these are very harsh words but I wish you the best of luck I think things will turn out well for you if you just look at yourself before the relationship and now look at yourself years later look at all the damage this person did to you and start regaining who you used to be
Franklin Bujans , exactly where I’m at now and it’s amazing once you find yourself again and let go how life opens up.
I’m very happy for you! Excel!!
👏
This reminds me of someone who is always doing terrible stuff to me and then telling me that she feels threatened by me.
She's the aggressor every time.
Thank You So Very
Much For Sharing
Narcissists
Are Shallow Vultures
Who Abuse Others
For Their Own
Self Gratification.
Demetria Gaines you got that right Sis! So glad we got away from ours (as much as we possibly can anyway). Much love 💕💯
@@The_Salty_Siren
🙏🙏
Narcissism Actuality we are talking about pathologically narcissistic people, not the whole spectrum 💕
Narcissism Actuality for me, it is. If you’ve ever dealt with one and gotten away from the relationship hindsight is absolutely 20/20. Of course I can’t speak for everyone else’s experience but this channel has helped me immensely. I don’t know what’s floating around social media as I don’t go on social media often & when I do I’m just uploading a picture of my latest design. I’m only speaking for myself & to the people that have shared their stories with me in regards to this channel. I don’t think it’s a one size fits all thing but this channel isn’t either.
Narcissism Actuality also, it’s pretty typical for social media to demonize people imo. Divide and conquer is their strongest tactic & it does work for the most part. Perhaps you making videos or blogs on your experience as existing on the narcissistic spectrum, but not pathological & sharing it on social media can help combat the “norm” or stereotype being presented. I know LS has said in many videos that it is healthy to be narcissistic to some degrees, but what separates the pathologically narcissistic from simply being on the spectrum, is how much it negatively impacts their lives (relationships, jobs, finances, etc). Maybe you can expand on that in blogs if you’re not comfortable using your voice on camera. You’re well-written & kind in your approach, I’d watch/read! Plus the better we know ourselves, the better we can make our way back “home” 💕
There actions speaks louder than words!!! This makes them dangerous!
"The threat has been identified, and now it must be neutralized....YOU!"
And narcs have no filter! Around their victims, they will say whatever comes to mind. Great video Cyn.
Was accused of being in a sexual relationshio with my Biological brother. This he said infront of my mother.
A few months later, I left him.
Russell Sova a walking external monologue of love bombing debasing and Dyson grade hoovering
Russell Sova I used to call it spewing her venom. The only way I could get it to stop is just leave because I wanted to spare my son.....I just refused to get into an argument over an unworthy subject.
True that. Even my past abuser admitted that they had no mental filter for whatever they said and kept on saying things that were very negative and untrue about me constantly and just very callous obtuse things on the whip almost. Good to hear we aren’t alone in that experience
It is goddamn insane how vile and hateful their mouths get, then act like nothing happened and your being hurt or angry is an overreaction and you're crazy. I'm still amazed by this.
Brilliant analysis! I escaped the narcissist a year ago. His attacks on me were rapidly escalating to full blown lies about my character and scary threats. It took him two years to finally reveal how disordered he really is. I still struggle with the cognitive dissonance of who he appeared to be and what he is inside. That resulted in a trauma bond that resurfaces every once and a while. I'm happy being single now. He's already gone through a few new supply sources. I only know because some contacted me. I didn't respond. He leaves a trail of wrecked hearts behind him and I think he's proud of it too. No more relationshits for me. I've moved on to loving myself more than a partner. Thank you for all your help in helping me to save my life Lil Shaman.
Their own self image about how they are is convincing them to think you are in the same place.
Boy did you ring that one . I can't believe how accurate you got it.
They really don't have any limits at all. Its moral insanity
Fragile fiction, I love that analogy. In my experience, if I say something I am punished and if I say nothing I receive more abuse.
jacqueline manzano it’s called the double fuck! They are masters at that. No win scenarios...all so they can get their supply. Monsters
jacqueline manzano yup. It was like- pick your poison.
@@endswithme555 my friends and I call it the dick double down. Caught doing something crappy, narc doubles down on the rage and crappy behavior!
Hence the word PATHOLOGICAL. Since they never leave permanently, it’s up to us to close the door, lock it & throw away the key!
This is what sent me to no contact. I realized she could do anything and feel completely justified. And none of it had to be based upon any objective reality. Whatever she conjured up at any given moment. I was at the mercy of however she felt. I struggle daily trying to understand how a person could be like this. Still lots of healing to do.
I dealt with my ex husband narcissist abuse for years. Now he has brainwashed and manipulated my kids against me who Ironically I protected from him and sacrificed for all their lives . They all now treat me the same abusive way to the point it’s unbearable . I am at the point in my life where I need to move far away to get the peace I deserve in my life
I completely comprehend the desire to move away and reboot your life. However, in computer lingo, you would be better served if you could locate that inner virus and eliminate it. If you fail to do so, the issue will continue to exist no matter where you go. Begin the first steps toward self love and I promise that eventually your outer peace will be a direct reflection of the peace you are able to caress inside.
Peace & Blessings
Marc’s are like cancer, they infect all who they encounter including children
I have lived this SO many times.
" It's YOU, Nancy, it's YOU", was the way my narc tried to end every "conversation" about whatever he was upset or angry about. I foolishly tried to reason with him and present facts while he ignored or deflected every relevant point I made. Still, I was the one who was constantly accused of being too sensitive and too emotional. They call them crazymakers for a reason...
Narcissist, entertain every slight they feel was against them forever! They can't leave anything alone ever! Even thought it was created by them. It's all your fault. Always!
They can't leave their ex's along either
So true!
Yes. They make you “wear” it‼️
My wife almost killed me in this way. For some reason she stopped strangling me and I survived.
"Instead of fitting their emotions to the facts, they're fitting the facts to their emotions". That insight hit me like a bomb, I immediately recognized what you said. Thank you so much Little Shaman
I'm glad you mentioned that the rage can be disguised. The mostly covert narc I knew acted out in ridiculous, crazy making fits of unbelievably childish and annoying behaviors, but never screamed and yelled and rarely even *appeared* as angry. But I knew it was a little tantrum, a hissy fit because she didn't get exactly what she wanted maybe...or needed to punish me and/or control me for some reason known only to her. The sheer stupidity of the acting out was incredible. The whole point seemed to be to provoke *me* to anger or rage so she could be superior, or something. "More supply for me! Cackle cackle." Unfortunately that stupid game ended up completely destroying my health for a very long time....time I wish I could get back. Still trying to get the health back too.
It is scary what these people can justify to themselves as self defense (revenge). I hope everyone stays safe. Bless you, thank you!
Lisbeth Bird Holy shit. So spot on!
Yeah, I was married to a covert narcissist for 25 years.
I walked out on him after my mental health deteriorated to such an extend where I needed more specialized help.
He was never there for me!
Evil psychopaths! 😡
Their emotions/feelings = facts. Such a true and powerful statement.
I think some narcs do have limits, because if they were to kill you or drive you to the point where you leave them, then they have lost supply and targets. Thus, they do things up until the point that you break, and then do just a little bit to keep you entwined with them. The cycle just keeps going.
They do what they need to do and they go as far as they need to go. If they don't go farther, it's generally because they didn't need to.
The Little Shaman God bless you and thank you 🙏💪💞💘💕
It's amazing how many of these psychos there are in this world! I'm 37 years old and I've been with my narc for 7 years now. He is the first person I've ever met in my life that I've seen behave this way. They are very good at not letting other people see how they really act. As long as the person believes their bs then the mask stays perfectly in place. As soon as someone calls them out on something is when the mask slips and you see the truth behind it. It's VERY scary!
I’m am in exact same position, same age, same length of relationship, but one year on. Total insanity.
Please plan an exit strategy from them. It Never ends or gets better. Love yourself, take your life back and escape. Never let them know you are leaving, this is when they are dangerous. 💟
You gotta leave,asap
According to my ex-wife she is a victim I abused her looking back remembering her screaming and yelling at me and telling me these things she wasn't just trying to convince me of this she was trying to convince herself and looking back also I am amazed how there was always a battle there was always a conflict where there was none an emotional rollercoaster that never ended I wonder if she is still the same or did she actually get worse never resting never stopping what a truly horrible existence I can say that because now that I am older I have found such a piece in life a comfortable and pleasant sense of being I can even say that I have developed spiritually these are Concepts and things that a narcissist will never grasp how absolutely horrible and painful the existence of the narcissist must be forever trying to fill that empty void with drama pain and suffering
Franklin Bujans I agree. If the place he dragged me to is where he lives 24/7, then it’s quite horrifying.
When they need to self-protect so fiercely, it’s a wonder there aren’t more of us murdered!
It’s surprising that our damaged psyches, from childhood on up, ever can heal! After living with a toxic individual, we’re happy to escape with our lives, if not our emotions, finances, and other assaulted parts!
Another key piece of information for us survivors! Thanks. ❤️
Luckily, instead of committing murder or some other terrible crime, a lot of them just leave. It is truly a blessing in disguise. I wish more people would realize that. 💖
Narcissists do not murder physical, but they will destroy you completely. Psychopaths are killers! Narcs 'leave' when they are done with you. Psychopaths will 'finish' the job. Take care Nettonya, you can heal, they can't because it's a disorder. (brains)
Anneke Rotterdam
Thanks.
Knowing that they can’t heal is what kept me with the toxic ex. I was hoping that I was wrong and that he COULD heal. Ever the optimist! Not any more, regarding someone who TOLD me, time and time again: “I don’t think I can love anyone.” I took that as a challenge and lost. 30 years of effort is enough. Now I have proof!
Even though he didn’t “leave” physically, the ex did leave emotionally, or really was never present emotionally! He wouldn’t have the balls to leave me, physically, so I left him.
Blessings!❤️
@@nryane I know...... it took me 55 years before I understood (life's lessons?) what this 'horror-show' was all about. I could write a book about toxic manipulative (narcs ánd psychopaths) people in my life. The point: listen to your intuition, learn who you are/ want to be (identity), learn to put boundaries (say 'no' ) emotional, financial, etc etc and.....remember that this is YOUR life, you are responsible for it and not for other people's life. xx
Anneke Rotterdam
Absolutely!❤️
Absolutely, criminal minds is his favorite show on TV, things because he likes to learn ways to get away with psychologically manipulative and criminal acts. Thank you Little Shaman you have helped me understand evil, that's what narcissism is, pure evil.
Lol.. my FBI somewhat perfect narcissistic father actually WAS criminal minds. Profiling murders he and his honestly, no cap.
They REALLY started the BSU at Quantico..
My psychotic manic doormat mum and genius perfect dad..
Oddly, somehow now
That's funny .. thanks for the insight. 😎
Thanks for explaining this irrationality so rationally. No point of arguing with crazy, they are too busy protecting their precious ego to even care. Magical thinking for sure, but more like smoke and mirrors.
“The question is, what do you think you deserve.” Priceless! Love your content!
This explains the years of trying to make sense of all the abuse I endured from my narcissistic ex. I could never reason with him or ever have any logical peaceful exchange. Everything turned into a full blown argument that never got resolved and he would usually threaten my life and verbally abuse me with an occasional physical abuse thrown in. Complete insanity and so many years of mine and my kids lives wasted revolving around his constant turmoil.
That, and "You hate me don't you"!
@@stefarfa52 Someone hates them, all right. But it's not you. At least, not then.
Lol LS!
Nancy Greydee michele nieves yt channel narcissism. also surviving narcissism a 2nd dr carter channel with a female speaker. Both have excellent advice to single moms. good luck. chin up. IGNORE him as much as u can while you plan no contact.
@@thelittleshamanhealing i need to learn that it isn't wrong for me to stop loving him.. not JUST his hating the deeds and everything else..
Hydē
When my mother slipped into her narcissistic rage and savagely beat my brother and I there was no limit she wouldn't go to. The things she would throw at us, the things she would say, the way she would grab my hair and slam my head into the kitchen floor. There was just no limit. She would use her rage to justify destroying anything of mine she wanted to, telling lies to my relatives about me making them hate me and scaring off any friend I brought to the house. Sometimes I wonder how I'm even alive today...
I have survived too and sometimes I wonder how come I'm still alive. What I don't know is if I ever heal my broken self. Take care
@@Lyrielonwind ~ You can definitely heal yourself, these UA-cam videos are a great tool for that. What you probably need most right now is information.
I love you..
@@Lyrielonwind no pressure, but in my experience, we must first forgive ourselves.. and eventually also the monster to heal ourselves..
Give yourself time and a break.
@@antifreq522 ~ Forgiving ourselves is DEFINATELY an important first step.
Your right. It really has nothing to do with the target. The battle is with themselves.
Truth! I’ve lived through some of this- it’s amazing how an innocent comment can be perceived as a threat to the narcissist! I understand this now. Thanks
You are always spot on when it comes to this disorder.
This was SO helpful for me. I think you described this complex behavior so adequately when you said that some narcs know right from wrong and know that abuse isn't right but yet justify their behavior by saying it's self defense. I have definitely experienced that. And the sad thing is that I've even questioned myself, like am I the one who is gas lighting? Am I the one who is being passive aggressive? All in an effort to save and protect myself. What an insidious, horrible experience to go through with someone you once loved. It's been soul crushing but, thanks to you, I"m healing slowly.
Another excellent video to save lives. It amazes me these people walk amongst us, marry us, have children with us, work with us, serve our food at restaurants, malls, stores, political, pd, first responders, artists, teachers, attorneys, doctors, therapists, etc etc. They are on the brink. They are walking ticking time bombs.
Two dying parents, friend about to die from cancer, daughter lost to another state in the divorce and...I'm still not human.
Hey Matt, hope you're better!
I wish i had found this 3 yrs ago . It would of saved me so much pain . You're amazing , please never stop you help so many
This describes my late stepfather. He acted that I was the abuser. That I was trying to hurt him.
My biggest regret is not knowing Narcissists DO NOT have limits to how far they are willing to take their evil... If I would've known this about 3 years ago I would've changed some things..
I always knew they didn't have boundaries but never knew they don't have a limit SMH
My mistake is viewing them as normal human beings because normal human beings have A LIMIT... I am finding out the HARD WAY THAT NARCISSISTS DON'T HAVE LIMITS.. I'm learning HARD... Just glad these videos found me 🤷❤️💯
This is the best explanation I’ve heard yet about the crazy-making behavior that I’ve experienced.
EVERYONE should know this !!!! It's sooo tremendously important !!! He claimed often, that I hurt him. .But I didn't do anything bad ! Now I understand...
I am choosing to share this story on your site because I have so much respect for the work that you do. The other day I was chatting with an acquaintance I met through the NARC years ago. He mentioned that he ran into the NARC and his 15 year old son while getting a hair cut. Keep in mind I am almost 9 months NO CONTACT after leaving him. He asked the NARC if he is still dating me. This person did not know the circumstances of my relationship with him and my exit but the NARC's response in front of his son was, f- no, f- her, she's crazy anyways. Glad she's gone. This is in front of his son! They have no boundaries and no respect for anyone, even their children. So the man who everyone thinks is a great dad proved to this person what a POS he really is. I responded by saying, what a shame he spoke about me that way in front of his boy. That poor kid is exposed to a toxic, lying, cheating manipulator who happens to be his dad. I can only hope he doesn't end up mirroring that behavior. And if he said that to an outsider imagine what he says about me behind closed doors. They carry hate with them for life especially if you discard. I will be hated until he takes his last breath but I could care less. Being free from him is all that matters.
Stay strong soldier..
Treating their feelings as facts with no regard to intentions. Spot on. Thank you!
Little Shaman rocks!!!🤘❤
Feelings are facts to them. And I believed it too for a while, thinking "He's angry so there MUST be a good reason why." Because I didn't get angry unless I had a real reason to. 🤦🏻♀️
So true. They act like small conflicts are life and death.
AMEN ! The fight is all in their confused perception , that creates their eratic crazy making obsessive behavior !
So very true.the way they feel inside they will project it onto you. I'm like I never said that". But in his mine I did not realizing he said it🤮 and hopeless.
Sweet little shaman...
Every time I get the silent treatment... I come running back to you..
My narcissistic daughter was love bombing me for 5 months... she helped me to find an apartment close to her and my grandchildren.. my grandchildren were so excited that Grandma was moving close to them..
As soon as I moved into my new apartment.. my daughter sent me a message..
You are evil and your evil ways have finally caught up to you.. you will never see my children again..
Wow I really should have seen it coming.. but 5 months she love bombed me.. she told me we were going thrift store shopping and out to lunch and to get coffee wow I ate it up..
I guess I want so much to believe that there is good in her..
But I will never ever forgive her for hurting the children..
I am an old lady what she does to me I can handle.. but she built the children up telling them grandma was moving close.. anybody that can be so cruel to their own children is absolutely demonic
My narc has given me the silent treatment for saying to him that I didn’t trust him and who he was actually with. He has lied and has been deceitful many, many times in the past....it’s hard to trust him. He yelled at me, told me I’m weak, says my love is weak, I’m a dumbass and he won’t let me speak so I can tell him why I feel this way. All of this because I said I didn’t trust him
My brother has the nickname 'crazy Steve' - but has been promoted to now being 'creepy steve'- it's kinder than ' the prince of darkness' which he was named by locals in the 70's. I think you get the picture.
I can confirm that these malignant types never change for the better. Please, get away from them. Pleading for sense gets you the opposite... Just avoid them. Pretend you're always busy working, etc. Don't bother confronting them, unless you want a shitstorm. It never ends.
11 narcissists panned this truthful video.
You helped me through my break up with my ex thank you
So insightful. I wish I would have found this channel 5 years ago. He told me horrible things about his past, things he supposedly did to is ex wife during their divorce and that in itself should have been a glaring red flag. He had zero boundaries so I would not put anything past him. I am thankful I got out when I did. He was slowly and methodically destroying me. NO CONTACT almost 9 months. I saved my own life.
When you meet one please run like hell or you will be very sorry you didn't, please believe me.
Sister Sin, you need to do a video on how the narcs think that their Feelings are Facts. This needs to be a separate video all together.
It is. 💖
@@thelittleshamanhealing I must have missed it !
I'll look for it & then watch it again to refresh my memory. Thanks for all the information you give us.
@@salonika101 You're so welcome. I hope you find it helpful.
This just happened to me yesterday. This friend keeps throwing up the past.. She accusing me of what she is guilty of. Things quieted down for awhile but now they are heading right back to the same place. You have made is very clear in this video and explained her behavior. Thank you.
No limits, is correct. Perfect example happened this weekend. After a day of fishing,.my narc and.i came to the dock. We we're loading the boat back on the trailer and it was windy and I was having trouble keeping the boat in line with the trailer in the dark water. After he yelled at me and was quite rude. I asked him in the truck to not yelll at me like.that again or it will be the last time I go on our boat. He gets out of.the truck and starts to unhook the boat and says why don't you call someone else to come get you and the boat!
I was stunned he was.going to leave me and a boat and a boat trailer 30 miles from our house in the middle of nowhere at a dark boat ramp, with no one around for miles! I had to beg him to not do that and get back in the truck with the trailer and to just go home. My biggest regret was doing that, I should have stayed my ground and called someone, or walked out to get help the next morning. They have no limits. And when you metioned their bad behavior, the shame based monster emerges and they can't handle it.
I decided the next day to call divorce attorneys and come up with a plan to leave, next summer will be quite different then this summer. I had been in denial for so damn long, 10 long years of it.
Don't blame yourself for acting rationally and NORMALLY! We can't think of what we 'should've' done until later because it comes out of the blue and we are trying to be safe.
You have endured 10 years of Hell...so when your mind comes up with the should haves...just thank it..it is trying to help you but it's a bit late cos it's using the hindsight that it/you didn't have at the time. I still have to Rewire my thoughts and I have been safe for almost 9 years though only learnt about Narcissistic Abuse a year and a half ago and went Non Contact from my parents and siblings in xmas 2018.
I pray you stay safe until you escape. It won't be easy so only fight for what you need....money and half the house etc. .don't worry about furniture or other small stuff. Just get a safe place to live as far from him as possible and a comfy bed and REST. ..Doesn't matter if you live surrounded by boxes that first year as I did.
Good luck and God bless you on your healing journey. It's not easy but the freedom and peace and feeling safe are so worth it. For myself feeling safe with a roof of my own over my head was the most important thing. No one has any control over where I live or my home but me!
You are so brave for surviving him...so never let your Inner Critic tell you what you should've done. If it was so wise it should've told you at the time. Lol ! but thank it because it's part of you and always listen to your Gut/Intuition. Take care and all the best.
@@mandyg5747 Mandy, thank you for your kind words. It's crazy the stuff we put up with. I am getting clearer every day. So glad I have found naracissist abuse books to help me through my journey and the you tube sites,.what a wealth of information. IAM saddened by the shear number of us who have been in the line of fire of these beasts.
@@mandyg5747 I am thinking your Christmas in 2019 without them around in your life will be a terrific one, than you for sharing your story with me. Merry Christmas 2019! Celebrate extra well.
@@sherrim4067 You are very welcome Sherri. Yes it is sad the number of people abused but also reassuring that we are perfectly normal and that is is NOT our fault. We cannot help being kind people but it's time to be kind to ourselves. We cannot change the world only our own little bit of it.
It's sad that there are so many dysfunctional human beings out there that think they have a right to treat others abominably. I think that they know that there is something dreadfully wrong with them and they are jealous of us but instead of trying to change they take out their rage on us to bring us down.
My faith has kept me sane and also from what I know of Jesus behaviour whilst in the earth ...he was/is a true Empath so I take heart that Almighty God is too. What hurts us hurts them too so they have a very good reason for allowing things to carry on as they are but not forever! Things will change. Meantime they are there to pick us up and help us through.
I am learning to be myself and see how what has happened although I wish it hadn't! I could certainly have done without 41 years of ME! Such an painful illness. .. has refined me and given me the chance to change for the better. Jobs I did in the past are now helping me today as I have knowledge that others don't and I can help them understand. We.all have something to give to the world but we do not need to keep giving at the expense of our health.
What you have suffered will have given you insights that others do not have. It has made you strong. Just think how far you can fly when you are free! .Take care and thank you for your kind wishes re Xmas this year. Only yesterday I was worrying about it a bit. I will remember you words. I hope you can be free and safe and warm this xmas. God bless you.
@@mandyg5747 my best to you too.
My dad was murdered in 2000.
I shared that awful day with my ex.
We had our first "real fight" about...hmmmm..6, maybe 7 months in.
I was FLOORED when he said "Your dad probably deserved his murder."
ANYTHING I had shared with him became weapinized against me.
He basically shamed my entire existence...my whole life.
Or he TRIED to.
I stayed ij a relationship with him another 2 plus years.
Smh at myself.
These videos are saving my life.
Thankyou.
Christi
Does anyone think, they have a giant "push button" that says " game on". They are always ready for a fight either verbally or otherwise. I'd rather be in a room with a pit bull in pain then a narc will bad intentions.
So true. You can almost see and feel the negative energy corsing through there bodies.
Accurate to perfection.....thank you ❤
Perfectly and precisely described... as always!
They lose their moorings, gone is the point of reference to the point of reference. They take on an act, then become that act, and the original, real person is lost and no longer accesssible. Sad really. Thanks, this was concise and very informative.
OMG THIS IS SO ON POINT it's scary!!! I was terrorized by this person. He has made my life HELL!!! Judge (yesterday) granted him an annulment after 7 years of marriage and MY BEING ABUSED, when he manipulated the entire courthouse with his props, antics and lies. I'm sure it's not over yet. I know he'll still come after me for SOMETHING...he is relentless and for no LOGICAL reason (even with his NEW SUPPLY in tow)...this podcast explains it all though. THANK YOU!!!!
Stay away from him. Praying.
Believe me, I have...he just keeps trying. You’d think, if he’s so “happy” with his “upgrade” he’d leave me TF alone...unfortunately, he’s just a miserable cretin, inside and out‼️🤨
God help you, I hope he’s long gone now.
@@nancyb686 Thank you, YES!! He's LONG GONE!!!
I ran into my ex narcissist girlfriend in a supermarket . I said hello how are you. We dated 8 years. She said sorry I don't know you.
Then walked off. Unbelievable
A narcissist met a person with whom she had had a disagreement
They were picking wild mushrooms and were wearing hats.
One asked the other if she were Italian by hearing her speak: she said yes; then she recognized her and said who she was by name.
The reply was:
" I dont know ..
I don't remember" and walked away.
Did u leave her? Set up boundaries she couldnt meet? I can certainly see one doing just that. So bizarre.
because it's not right Weird Bitch.
I have a real good example of this,
Years back before I knew what narcissism was, there was this acquaintance of my former employer, it was always something about him I just didn't like, something was very off about him so I kept my distance.
I saw him at a function I can't remember now.
He gave me a very condescending look like I wasn't s#!$ and I gave him the same look back and I was really sincere about it he wasn't nothing to me and a person I can forever do without.
He didn't handle that exchange very well, some months later, he tried to run me over in his car as I was crossing the street to my neighborhood store, I crossed in the nick of time when I saw who he was and his vindictive smirk.
Not even a week later though he found me as he was in the company of his female worker he was really worried and was trying to word salad me an apology, I just realized why he was worried,,
He was trying to see if I reported it to the police, I could have had him arrested or taken him to court for that asinine move he did.
Aye, feelings are proofs to them. Once in a letter she claimed I'd want to leave her. I vowed I didn't but she had a proof: that very letter she wrote.
I must admit I was speechless at that moment.
Thank you. You summed it up.
Listening through some of your more recent videos, and I never realized how completely unconscious most of their reactions and behavior are. I always thought they were pretty consciously aware of what they were doing and just lying and covering up. No wonder there's no way to get through and make them understand logic and reason!!
Boom! That ending passage about domestic violence...well done!
Amazing and factual! Wow it's like you were there! Very well articulated! Bravo! You are saving lives by these recordings.
"What you already know, is ENOUGH"
Wow, that really helped me understand my sister's behavior toward me! Thank you!!
Thank you for explaining this. It is exactly what they do and impossible to understand when it happens. Wish I would have heard this years ago.
My narcissist actually does tell me that I deserved this or that because of how I treated him. When I try to leave him he will not stop with the abuse until I just give in. He's like the biggest bully in town. It's rediculous. He does everything he can without crossing the line to get arrested but also tells me he's not afraid to go to prison. I usually just give in and go back to him because it's easier then dealing with his craziness when I try to leave.
Damn Sister Shaman U Be Going Off*U Got These "People" Down Packed*And Your Examples Are THE Best*Peace & Blessings To U Sister.......
Thank you, this is really helpful. I don't think I ever really understood why domestic violence happens until I heard this. Yes, I've heard the usual about power and control, but I really never have understood why some people need that power and control in the first place. When you factor in narcissists' issues with self esteem, then the entire thing comes clearly into focus.
Fantastic Video, little Shaman !! You make it very clear !! I'm so glad that I left him, before something dangerous could happen...
Yeen lyin!! Smh @these. Koo koos
How is it even possible to receive a ‘thumbs down’ on your content? Thank you for sharing your wisdom. It’s been two years since my aha moment and almost that long since my escape. In the process of healing other narcs in my life have revealed themselves. This road of realization and healing has been such hard work. I don’t know how much longer the journey will take but you help me every step of the way. Even today, after two years, your messages inform and support me. Going through all of this can be so lonely and isolating because most people don’t understand it. And, along with that, aren’t ready to see it for themselves.
I have felt this with my mother in a number of instances and I also felt it with my stepfather, who might’ve been a classic narcissist. That it isn’t simple denial but, deflection of bullets, where you feel, sometimes, as if you’re talking to someone who is at the ready, even in a calm conversation, wearing a Kevlar suit. The children’s saying, Everything you say bounces off of me and sticks to you,” is a good analogy, only we’re talking real imagined bullets and not chewing gum.
I have felt that in most instances with her, shame being the reason for some of her actions was hard to detect. Especially since I’m probably simply reacting to it as a crossed boundary. That, when she obtained my workplace number, after I told her why I wasn’t providing it, she may have felt shamed when she said that it’s normal for a family to have your workplace number, but when she called a week later, it just felt as if she was crossing a boundary, especially since she started off the conversation very casually say, “I’m so glad I have your number.” For me, it felt like that sick, oozing calmness you’d likely get from a psychopath. I simply asked how she got the number (phone company) and hung up. Although, as I was hanging up she said, “Ohhh, [my name],” as if she were merely disappointed, I didn’t read it like that. I didn’t read it as shame either. I read it as contentment that, whether I hung up on her or not, she now had me trapped somewhere where she felt I had no choice to answer her call, particularly as it’s not a job I’d willingly leave. She proved this a week later by calling and having the guard look for me, yet not answering either of her 3 phone lines when I called back but a few minutes later. Chances are, she was simply feeding. Feeding off the fact that I was at work, feeling threatened, calling each phone line, to learn thy there was no problem, no urgency. Just her letting me know that she can do as she pleases, including remove me from my livelihood.
This was when I sent the certified cease and desist letter, letting her know that my employer would come after her, as well. Bottom line is that, whether she was feeling emboldened, offensive or ashamed - it’s not my problem.
She called there once since, many months ago, but not since then and I barely hear from her on my cell now. She’s too busy helping (staking out) my sister.
It is quite often true, I guess, that once you know what you’re looking at and even sometimes before then, you’ll feel such artifice though. What may seem to most like sweetness, pleading or even normalcy? Even more present than the fact that your view has now changed of this unmasked entity, you become very aware of the Charming BS attack. That what may look like your mother calling your job to maybe get you to have a casual conversation, might actually be a way to get you fired, with your compliance. I could be stretching it there though but, it has occurred to me. While we used to talk like crazy on the phone prior to the recession, I’ve explained to her a few times that that is now over, just simply due to the change in the market and the fact that, just because the company president didn’t stop me before, didn’t mean I wasn’t abusing the privilege. But, as a narcissist, no company, change in market or even me is going to change what she feels like doing. But, that is where consequences come in. I had to let her understand that there would be consequences - for her.
They have no boundaries with themelves
Thank you for all that you do…several of these people ruined a lot of my life, I was always strong enough to put it back together, I needed this knowledge 25 years ago…. Thanks again. Continue to do the great work you do… You are helping people a lot!
I don't even know if I could speak if I came face to face with my ex. If I said anything kind she would think I was an open door. If I state any fact like "I know you are made of shame and can only dehumamize others as a matter of course" the reality may cause her suicide. If I spoke to her the way she actually deserves to be spoken to I would be exactly what she wants me to be. I have no questions for her, she would only see a question as a game anyway. I guess if she actually spoke to me first, no matter what she said, I could only respond with the only thing she ever understood; "I care exactly as much about you as you do about me." Then she would not have anything to say to me. She never did respond to that statement even once. She would turn and walk away without saying a word and be silent for weeks.
Yep, that’s the damn problem with them; they think they are perfect and doing absolutely nothing wrong! Welcome to most of my conversations with my Ex. “I feel (fill in the blank)”
Me: squirming, explaining myself and apologizing for even opening my mouth.
Constantly starting arguments simply because they have inner turmoil...
Ahhhh this is stressful to live with every single day of their lives. When people say “THEY DON’T CHANGE” their right! They can have a new partner and even had kids but their behavior is STILL THE SAME!
This is where I come for validation.
True insight. Thank you, Little Shaman.
And that is exactly why we are not together anymore. He strangled me and tried to kill me. And when I asked him why after he said because I wouldn’t leave him alone and it was my fault. (He had been drunk and sleeping for five days straight, and I came home from work to make sure he was still alive, and when I touched him to make sure had a heartbeat, that’s when he proceeded to strangle me.) This is the same man that told me he wished I would’ve died in my car accident. I asked him why he said that and his answer was because he was mad at me at the time. Screw him. There’s no hope
My narcissist told me she was breaking up with her ex and got Me to unblock her. A week later she gets into a fight with me intentionally and tells me she needs space. I find out that not only is she still with her boyfriend but they're on vacation for 14 days together. She got back it hasn't reached out yet and neither. Either she knows I know or she doesn't care altogether. Crazy liar.... telling me she was getting help from a therapist as well. The story goes on & on. Such an unstable ride. Thank God she's got new supply.
She will come crawling back at the very least just to Gage your interest. That is when the true test happens. Either take it for what it is or tell her to beat it.
@@tommcgill8703 I'm so ready. I never felt as ready. In the past you've been able to Hoover me quite easily. Not any more. Thanks for your response Tom.
She had u unblock her and then she ended it on her terms, the classic narc trait. She will come back when she needs supply from you so stay no contact
@@retrogamer82 she reached out (1 month after) via text, no response from me. 4 hours later she reached, that's when she knew she blocked. 20 minutes later she wrote an email with beautiful words about my character, wishing me the best on the new school year. I ignored it all....this caused major injury. Smiles....☺️
@@how27udo That is too funny. Good for u man. Keep it up. She will find other ways to test you now. They dont like letting people get to far away. They know time heals wounds. A month seems a little early for this situation.
Shameless. Absolutely shameless.
My husband is a covert narc. "No limits" is a hallmark signal for him, as he has zero limits or moderation concerning food, cigarettes, his "pursuits", hobbies, etc. His "no limits" lifestyle has negative effects on me and our kids, as food, money, and time seem to be at his disposal. All attempts to set boundaries and limitations are met with opposition in an undermining way. For years this has frustrated me. I have quietly sat back and observed his tactics. With valuable channels such as this, I have learned how to counter his narcissism while "staying within myself" and taking my life back. Please keep bringing us this great content.
Love you, Little Shaman! I finally left and I am so scared and alone and freaked out.... Your videos are helping a lot. Thank you so much for existing and being the Beautiful person you are!! 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻❤️
you'll be fine
Mike Hingedly Thanks!!! I think so as well! Have a gorgeous day! :)💕💕🙏🏻❤️❤️🙏🏻