Oh my word. Angie you hit the nail on the head. You are a gifted speaker, a powerhouse, transparent and so encouraging. One great thing about this ordeal is meeting you dear Angie. Amazing warrior for so many.
Thanks for putting this video out there. I had all of the panic and fear for 24/7 for the first 18 months. At the 18 month off mark is when It started change. I’m definitely going to check out that book. 😊
Angie, thank you for this. I’m 9 years off high doses of klonopin, still polydrugged and tapering. 9 years of suffering from these meds hasn’t been easy. You’ve been such an inspiration to me.
I think I have the most severe mental symptoms since I read many people stories. I have extremely severe intrusive racing thoughts. Severe flasback thoughts and images from childhood memories till now. Weird feeling. Hyper sensitive to every thought and sensation. Hyperawarness. Combined with severe depression and derealization and 24/7 hypersalivation with panick and cognitive impairment, brain fog attacks, I feel like I am the strongest person in the planet
Thank you for sharing this valuable information. You truly are paying it forward in a way that very few can…because you have lived it and are overcoming.
Ty angie .. this is my main symptom coming off antipsychotics .. the thinking .. new tools and solutions .. you are a warrior champion and hero .. something I aspire to be .
Having a rough couple of days and some doomy depressed feelings coming and going throughout the day. It's probably due to being on my period, but hasn't been this challenging for some time. Just healing in WD being non linear. Haven't had this symptom hang around this much for several months. Came back to this video for a refresher on what to do. 1) just seeing that you went through it too makes me feel not alone - that helps 2) seeing your positive smiling face- helps 3) getting these many ideas to implement - helps 4) knowing that you dealt with it and got through it - helps 5) just listening to the video - helps I appreciate all of your help Angie! Thank you so much !
Angie your sharing of what is happening in your head in withdraw I can understand. I been off my psychotropic drugs for a year and haft and still struggling but definetly much better than I was on the cocktail that I been on for almost 3 decade, I listen to people like you who share the same suffering. Thank You very much for your podcast. Together with Laura Delano podcast I have found strength in my road to recovery,
So I stopped Lexapro, and then washing machine leaking and elevator breaking several times in a row and not being fixed seemed like an impossible situation requiring me to take proactive aggressive socially risky action. The “things will be okay and it’s not a big deal” feeling was replaced with “it has to be dealt with now in an extreme manner because the ends justify the means”. I was overwhelmed and made extreme upside down decisions hastily. I am now finding myself fired, isolated and with bridges burned. Not being around people and having career anxiety and a downgrade in my lifestyle is troubling for me.
My intrusive thoughts were about work, family and life situation. I thought they were problem solvers and used them, but they had destructive effects. I was inappropriate, mad and insulting to people. Elevator tech didn’t fix the elevator permanently it kept breaking again and again, so I left him an angry manipulative voicemail, and then messaged his boss and CEO telling them I will report them to the board of elevators. My boss didn’t like it and held it against me and fired me. I got so angry, I reported my boss for stealing potentially and she got fired too. I know feel guilty and very lost. My career and network are ruined. I can’t easily start building my career over at this age. Thank god I still have my other job. Screen time has been linked to SI btw.
I'm almost 4 years off klonopin This video is one of the absolute best pieces of info I had surgery 11 days ago and I feel like it sent me back in withdrawal (I know that's not true) but the way my nervous system responds to the stress is wild now
Hi Angie. I'm am in my third or fourth year of psychiatric drug withdrawal. After 25 plus years. My brain is not well. Lots of hopelessness, dispare. I don't know how long this will go on but it is so brutal. I feel hopeless. You say exactly what I am experiencing. One weird thought after the other. Thanks for the suggestions. You are an inspiration.
Thank you Angie! I'm 15 months off Lexapro and I have been feeling like I'm never going to get better even though I clearly have come a long way. I came to UA-cam to listen to some music to distract myself and this video came up! Perfect timing. It's been a few months since I've watched one of your videos. I should have thought to do that! The physical symptoms are getting into my head these past two weeks and now I'm having intrusive thoughts again. Then I think, "Its been 15 months! Can this really still be from the Lexapro?" Yes, it is. So glad this video came up at this moment. Thank you again Angie! You rock!
Thank you so much for sharing. I feel so blessed to know that people understand so well this gong show that I’ve been living for 10 years. Started with a chronic migraine diagnosis….Mom diagnosed with ALS…. Menopause. Twenty two meds in 10 years with a nice opioid dependency thrown into the middle of it for fun. For the record, opioid withdrawl was a breeze compared to benzos. I’m freshly off sertaline two weeks now and still have gabapentin to go. Please keep me in your thoughts. I’m very sorry for anyone going through this.
Thanks for this helpful video. Mental stuff is the toughest to cope up or navigate from. Feeling of unreality was constant during my taper, and also after coming off (almost 4 months ago,)a thought comes suddenly with an altered state of mind, saying, this is not your real place to be, , you don't know these people ( my children), this is not real, go run away..., this thought pushes me so aggressively mentally, and I feel so frightened and confused with a heavy head. Whatever I am doing, like talking to my children, this thought comes that alters my mind 's visualisation and I feel that this present scene is not real. It's very difficult to explain, but it's so scary. Will they go away ever? Thanks for suggesting some skills to overcome that.
Angie, I was thrust into codeine withdrawal three weeks ago after taking them for four years. I was terrified and had nobody to turn to and your video was the little light in the darkness for me, so I just wanted to say thank you ❤️ for the work you do for us
I'm so glad I could help you during that time. It means the world to me when I read comments like you, not only because I helped a tiny bit but because you survived and healing!
Omg...this is the best most practical advice I have heard in my 2 year luvox withdrawal descent into hell. I AM GETTING TO WORK ON MY TOP TEN LIST NOW. BTW...YES NIGHTTIME IS THE WORST. I dread sleep. A lesson on peaceful sleep would great. ❤❤❤❤
I have no experience with benzos but im coming off 4 yrs of trt and my hormones are messed up i have been extremely depressed, this video is really helpful.
It does get very intense, what I do is put myself into the place I would be when I was quivertip fishing sat on the rover bank years ago. I am just super focused very intently on watching the tip of my rod waiting for ot to move. It's like a zen state where I am poised to react. I know it sounds silly but that is what I do. Thankyou for your advice Angie I think you are great.
Would you be able to talk about dealing with rage symptoms. This is a scary one for me. At times I feel so angry and threatened that I have a hard time not saying something that I regret afterwards. It just seems to fly out of me. And it is like I can't stop myself. ( I just want to say that I didn't used to react in such a way before. It is embarrassing and shameful for me.) Thank you
I’m 7 years post taper, ten years altogether, and in a horrible wave. I’m assuming it’s from having Covid july 9th then rebound Covid nearly a month later. The day I got Covid I thought a random thought and now it won’t leave. It’s the same thought mixed with other crazy thoughts. It’s very obsessive. It’s about the past and if a family member really cared If “this happened” or if “that happened” it’s completely bizarre and an event from ten years ago. I have such an urgency to bring it up to her but I know it would come out of left field and would honestly probably trigger her or just seem out there. Saying it out loud even sounds irrational. It’s so hard cus I have such an urgency and I want to do anything to get relief. My brain doesn’t stop ever. I’m exhausted and cry nonstop, plus taking care of my daughter alone and working. I feel like a walking secret and the greatest actor in a movie i despise. Thank you for your video. I needed it. 💙
I remember watchingb your first videos like five years ago and now I find myself almost off klonopin after 20 years. It has been a long tough road and it has taken me way too long to taper off and I've made some mistakes. Thanks for all the help.
Im glad you are on better side. Can I ask you did you have "brain lock"? Like your brain just wasn't functioning and came overwhelmed of any normal things and can't understand that people can do normal things and live their lives normally. I'm tapering and suffer that all day. This started 2021 summer when my dog had to put to sleep at the age of 16 and I had terrible panic attacks and was prescriped a big amount of oxazepam and doctor didn't warn me. I almost got rid of these drugs year ago when doctor did crossover to diazepam 10 mg and I got my normal brain back and could see people, my partner, and excersise and have good sleep and first time normal mornings in peace after my dog died. But taper was way too quick and went badly wrong and brain lock and constant fear and fight or flight state came back and I'm isolated a lot because I tell my hell all the time to my loved ones and feel like I'm in a different reality from other people. Long story after that and now i'm on klonopin (wich was six months ago my doctor's try to get me relief for a while and then taper but it didn't help, brain lock stayed) and I said few weeks ago (when I didn't taper) to my doctor that I think I suffer withdrawl even don't taper and want to taper with Ashton manual and she was willing to read it and we started few weeks ago. I feel awful. I wake up every morning to death. That I can't live like this moatly alone (normally I'm social, confident, active person) brain like this, I fear I have permanent brain damage. I feel depersonalization and derealisation. I try to walk and run brainlock is ruing it and I feel like my brain just shuts down. Im doing crossover from klonopin to diazepam and the same amount of diazepam is huge. 😥 Back to squere one. I have no power left but I want this drug off of me and have my good life back. I feel every morning that I can't take a day anymore and I have year tapering ahead. My doctor says I have tolerance and that's why klonopin didn't help and I suffer withdrawl symptoms. And she thinks this drug is making me sick and more anxious and I agree. And she thinks when I'm enough long time off of benzo my anxiety will get easier and brain lock will go away. But I just fear it is permanent. It went away year ago when I got relief of my terrible withdwal symptoms of diazepam so hopefully it would go away if I get off and get ali the witdrawl away. Thank you if you can read this, I can't understand this is my life (have never been even drunk) and i'm fightning all the time and feel hopeless to have no power (been this hell for 1,5 years) and long way to go and fear every minute that my brain stays like this and I can't live with brain like this. My brain was scanned in the mri and it was fine. Thank you if you answer and if you ever felt your brain doesn't function normally and it went away. And the best.
Thank you for this . I am in a setback after covid i have physical abd mental symptoms. Your description of the mental stuff is so helpful. I have many of the thoughts you desctibe. I know its the w/d voice but its hard and very scary. Very protracted and making it one day at a time.
This was really great to listen to. I’m not tapering YET but experiencing awful symptoms on two drugs and this helps me to deal with all the thoughts that are coming up for me . Grateful for Angie 🙏🏻❤️
Are neurological symptoms are different from mental ones. At 11 months off, I usually dont have much intrusion thoughts, but I feel like my mind is bot connected with anything around, I have a cut off feeling from reality, some days it feels I don't know or hard to connect with my family members, or even with my memories. Are these mental symptoms? Will they go away? and I will be able to connect with the world around ever? It's very scary.
This is a symptom many of us in withdrawal experience. It lessens microscopically almost daily . For me , it is noticeably better from when I first recognized it happening. . . You will heal.❤
@@susanmorgan4151 thanks for giving me hope. Now I am almost 13 months off, and you are right, the feeling of disconnection is improving but very slowly. How are you doing now? How long have you been off? Recently I am having a very bad dry cough, sore throat, with neck pain, is It also a withdrawal symptom? Because it is sometimes on and off. My head nerves are also paining a lot when I lay down.
@@susanmorgan4151I’m so glad to hear. I fear my cognition, memory, and brain processing is gone forever! It just seems impossible at times to consider or accept that symptoms THIS bad could repair.
God bless you Angie, you are a brave woman, and have a strong spirit for health. I pray for your total and complete healing ❤️🩹🕊 Thank you for sharing some uncomfortable stuff with your fellows. 😊
One thing I would like for you to cover is coping with the physical symptoms. at least for me I am in my 13th month of tapering and have coped well with the mental stuff. But the physical bring me to halt for weeks at a time. Thanks for the videos. They do help
@@AngiePeacockMSW the worst one by far is the insomina. The second worst is the heart pain. The others don't really bother me so much. But the insomina at least happens every time I drop. My last drop was .1mg and it still happened. I am waiting for it to pass again.
@@AngiePeacockMSW re physical symptoms... struggling hugely with brain on fire and inner restlessness and crawling skin. Finding it very hard to 'be in the moment' when the moment is so fricken bad!!
Hey Angie & everyone.....firstly, excellent & very encouraging/helpful video....thank you very much....also, im not sure this is right for everyone, but vitamin E is apparently very helpful for psych and other drug withdrawals, and also helps a lot with tardive dyskinesia from neuroleptics as well as anxiety.....i took 200 UI's daily a few years ago and i really did feel a lot happier, pisitive, foccussed and calm, so it just might be worth a try for everyone out there struggling.....they say that taking 400UI's daily is good for these reasons, including withdrawals symptoms, and you can take up to, i believe, 1200UI's daily also to assist you with the scarry thoughts, and anxity/worry/fear. God bless you all !!!!!!!!!!!❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Did you feel like your brain doesn't function normally and can't understand a simple thing and become overwhelmed of any normal things and can't understand that people can do normal things and live their lives normally? I suffer it all day and call it brain lock. I hope you and I will heal.
Angie I'm so glad you better. Please will you discuss KINDLELING and how this work and do those people also heal please. Lots of healing love to you and all the warriors
I watch it again and again, and it's really helpful, as my mental symptoms are so disturbing. It's very challenging to cope with them, and grounded with the reality, they pull me back so brutally. Now at 9.5 months off, why are they so intense like never before in earlier months? Can a wave also be of mental symptoms? Can we still be in acute at 9.5 months off?
@@AngiePeacockMSWI am struggling to shift the dial on a 5mg diazepam taper, that I was prescribed and took daily for 7 years. The physical and cognitive symptoms are so unbearable that I find it so difficult to believe they could possibly get better. My cognition, short term memory, processing and sensory experiences often render me unable to even listen to an audiobook. I do have some days better than others, but the intensity and disruption is hard to make peace with - in that this is my (and others) life for a long while to come. I do understand that seems to be the boat we are all stuck in. I would love to understand how we can apply these brilliant ideas from the video even when our cognition won’t allow for focus or activities? TY
Very helpful video. I am 5 months off, take good care of myself and have an active routine. With other symptoms, the looping thoughts disturb my mind so much, that my anxiety increases severally, this makes me shaky, and due to these repetitive thoughts , how can healing happen? If I get a little window, where I feel better, then these thoughts again come repeatedly, and make me worse. Did you experience these looping thoughts? How can we cope up with? Will they go away with time? Please help
Hi, Angie thanks for doing a video on mental stuff. Now at 10 months off, physical symptoms are manageable except the fatigue, but mental symptoms are so much intense and frequent, it's really much worse than earlier months. I feel like losing my mind. The constant dpdr, disassociation from my body and surroundings, the weird thoughts about my reality of my own existence makes me hopeless and out of my mind. Will this ever go away? Will I ever be normal?
@@AngiePeacockMSW thanks for this hopeful message, I really needed it as the mental stuff is so intense and unbearable with an acute head pressure that I was losing hope . I have come so far that I don't want to give up.
I read a lot of comments on these videos, and a lot of people seem to just have a few symptoms that are not very severe, and that makes me scared, like why the hell do have disturbing neurological and brain symptoms. Am i missing something? I am not trying to minimize anyone's suffering. I am just trying to understand. I have neurological that can't even be described or found on the forums or internet, and i don't think there is even a name for them.
There are many that have those symptoms. You are not the only one. I coach many that are too sick to even watch my videos let alone make a comment. There are many with neuro symptoms that are very severe
@AngiePeacockMSW thank you for answering Angie. Yesterday was a terrible night for me. I have a symptom where i feel almost paralysed from head to toe, and it scares the shit out of me. It feels like i lose complete control of my body, and i can barely move or get up. I don't know what the hell that is. Have you seen paralysis- like symptoms before?
@Eliokd YES! That foggy - paralyzed feeling is horrible! I "go with it" , accept it , and give myself time to lay on the couch all day if needed. I try to accomplish one task daily ( brushing my teeth , dishes, whatever I can do) . I believe that is helping. ❤It is getting better, and will get better for you!
@@EliokdI have bad neurological and brain symptoms too. Hard to describe. The first year off I’ve been bedridden and it’s still severe. Not having control over the body and not being able to do anything. It gets worse if I walk, stand, sitting upright for some time (which is nothing for a normal person or 75 year old parents).
I was CT-d off benzo almost 5 years off. Not improved much still. Most days cant get out of bed. 24/7 pain. Neck muscle spasming so hard it stops blood flow to brain for moments. Dpdr, anxiety, balance, head and eye and ear pressure. Its non stop 😢. Since CT having many autoimmune diseases. My body just doesnt function, unstable blood pressure, heart rate, blood sugar, temperature regulation. Trying to belive that one day it stops but after so long losing hope 😢
What about people who are tapering who are severely depressed about the whole situation and feel like they can’t go on and the symptoms haven’t really even gotten severely awful yet ? So when they do get severe it’s almost like game over for someone who is stuck in that mindset.
@ Adam When I began tapering 7 months ago I felt really depressed and my anxiety about tapering was irrational. I listened to everyone else’s story and made it my story. I had a lot of mental symptoms for the first 4 months. I thought I was going to have a really awful withdrawal experience and I was scared that it was going to get so bad that I wasn’t going to make it. The truth for me is that after the worst of 4 months things started to get better. I worked on the lies my brain was telling me and responded to them by telling myself that’s not true and distracting myself from them. I have 2 months more to taper and right now I can’t believe how scared I was in the beginning and how far I have come and I haven’t died and I haven’t acted on anything my brain was telling me to do. You can go on! Choose something to live for. Tell yourself that those negative thoughts are lies.
@@megan-oy2tj you couldn’t have said that better! I tell people all the time that they could get better as they taper and that not everyone has a horrible experience. Your experience is YOUR EXPERIENCE and no one else’s! Stay in that!!
I feel the bad depression and have traumatised everything have happened for 1,5 years. My hell started in summer 2021 when my dog had to put to sleep at the age of 16 and I had terrible panic attacks and prescriped a big amount of oxazepam and doctor didn't warn me. And became to suffer brain lock. I don't understand simple things and can't understand that people can do normal things and can't understand that people live their normal lives. I tapered and was in bad withdrawl symptons of oxazepam and doctor did crossover from oxazepam to diazepam year ago. My brain lock went away and I could see my partner and mom and other people (now and then I'm isolated mostly alone because I'm just tell my hell all the time to my loved ones and feel like I'm in a different reality from other people) and för sleep and normal peaceful mornings back. I got my normal life back and taper of diazepam went few weeks good but went way too fast and then went badly wrong. Brain lock came back. Depression came back. Long story and now i'm prescriped klonopin (My doctor prescriped that to get me relief for a while and then taper but it didn't help) and after six months of klonopin and can barely go to store, feel depersonalization and derealisation. If I try to walk and run brainlock is ruing it and I feel like my brain just shuts down. Can't do much. I wake up every morning to death and fear all day brain lock is permanent. So I said to my doctor that I think I suffer withdrawl even don't taper and want to taper with Ashton manual and she was willing to read it and we started few weeks ago. I feel awful and because of klonopin the same amount of diazepam is huge. Back to squere one. I have no power left but I want this drug off of me and have my good life back. I'm normally confident active social person and I suffer to be alone. Thank you if you can answer if you had any problems with brain function. Hope you all the best.
Hi Angela, I am 5 month off xanax now, but experiencing frequent very much disturbing intrusive type thoughts about my own existance and reality, they leave me shaking with extreme anxiety. The brain fog and confusion type of feeling with heavy head has also increased severaly. These are so intense, and make me worse than ever before. I am really losing hope to get better with time. Why these are so frequent and intense now? am I getting stuck in some mental loop? Please help.
Sometimes it can get a little worse before it gets better. DO NOT BELIEVE THE THOUGHTS. Watch this video over and over for reassurance if you need it but these thoughts leave!
@@AngiePeacockMSW oh my goodness, a few years… I have only recently discovered you, as I have only recently discovered that the bizarre symptoms that I had walked around with for four months after coming down from 5mg to 2mg of diazepam were actually withdrawal… I am now stuck at 0.8mg with akathisia… I am a single mom of 2 teenagers and willing to do whatever it takes, but reading that this could take years… They need me right now… I wish I had never ever touched diazepam (prescribed for menopausal symptoms) 😔 I thought I had seen the worst with the derealisation but then came the intrusive thoughts and the akathisia, now I just don’t know whether to taper more or not… Anyway, thank you for your video’s…
No I sure don’t because I didn’t have the movement / pacing like others. I would look to the akathisia group for better advice than I can give. I had the inner, not so much the outer.
Oh yes and for many years. Most of my feelings are all back now! I also feel things more deeply and was always sensitive to the world. I see it as my superpower.
rumination of old trauma, of conversations in my head, self-hate, benzo rage. All of us have these to some extent it just depends what the neuroemtion attaches itself to,
I'm about 80% healed I would say and I will be 7 years off in January. Do not compare my story to yours because I was cold turkey'd off Ativan at the end but was on more than 45 psychiatric drugs in a 13 year period and had come on and off benzos many times before.
Oh my word. Angie you hit the nail on the head. You are a gifted speaker, a powerhouse, transparent and so encouraging. One great thing about this ordeal is meeting you dear Angie. Amazing warrior for so many.
Yes! I listened to “Power of Now” while detoxing from klonopin and 4 other meds while in rehab and it truly changed my life.
Thanks for putting this video out there.
I had all of the panic and fear for 24/7 for the first 18 months. At the 18 month off mark is when It started change.
I’m definitely going to check out that book.
😊
How far out are you now and how you feeling?
@@harmedbuthealing
Seven years now. I’m definitely in a better place but not symptom free.
Angie, thank you for this. I’m 9 years off high doses of klonopin, still polydrugged and tapering. 9 years of suffering from these meds hasn’t been easy. You’ve been such an inspiration to me.
It took me 10 years to get off everything and then 6 more to heal and feel like I was human again. DO NOT EVER GIVE UP HOPE
I think I have the most severe mental symptoms since I read many people stories. I have extremely severe intrusive racing thoughts. Severe flasback thoughts and images from childhood memories till now. Weird feeling. Hyper sensitive to every thought and sensation. Hyperawarness. Combined with severe depression and derealization and 24/7 hypersalivation with panick and cognitive impairment, brain fog attacks, I feel like I am the strongest person in the planet
Also, rumination and catastrophizing thinking nothing compared to my own OCD which was 1000000 milion time better than this astroid
I really struggle with so many things. Food and sleep seem to be at the top of my list of concerns. Eating is so hard for me and sleep is a nightmare.
Thank you for sharing this valuable information. You truly are paying it forward in a way that very few can…because you have lived it and are overcoming.
Ty angie .. this is my main symptom coming off antipsychotics .. the thinking .. new tools and solutions .. you are a warrior champion and hero .. something I aspire to be .
Having a rough couple of days and some doomy depressed feelings coming and going throughout the day. It's probably due to being on my period, but hasn't been this challenging for some time. Just healing in WD being non linear. Haven't had this symptom hang around this much for several months. Came back to this video for a refresher on what to do.
1) just seeing that you went through it too makes me feel not alone - that helps
2) seeing your positive smiling face- helps
3) getting these many ideas to implement - helps
4) knowing that you dealt with it and got through it - helps
5) just listening to the video - helps
I appreciate all of your help Angie! Thank you so much !
Angie your sharing of what is happening in your head in withdraw I can understand. I been off my psychotropic drugs for a year and haft and still struggling but definetly much better than I was on the cocktail that I been on for almost 3 decade, I listen to people like you who share the same suffering. Thank You very much for your podcast. Together with Laura Delano podcast I have found strength in my road to recovery,
So I stopped Lexapro, and then washing machine leaking and elevator breaking several times in a row and not being fixed seemed like an impossible situation requiring me to take proactive aggressive socially risky action. The “things will be okay and it’s not a big deal” feeling was replaced with “it has to be dealt with now in an extreme manner because the ends justify the means”. I was overwhelmed and made extreme upside down decisions hastily. I am now finding myself fired, isolated and with bridges burned. Not being around people and having career anxiety and a downgrade in my lifestyle is troubling for me.
My intrusive thoughts were about work, family and life situation. I thought they were problem solvers and used them, but they had destructive effects. I was inappropriate, mad and insulting to people. Elevator tech didn’t fix the elevator permanently it kept breaking again and again, so I left him an angry manipulative voicemail, and then messaged his boss and CEO telling them I will report them to the board of elevators. My boss didn’t like it and held it against me and fired me. I got so angry, I reported my boss for stealing potentially and she got fired too. I know feel guilty and very lost. My career and network are ruined. I can’t easily start building my career over at this age. Thank god I still have my other job. Screen time has been linked to SI btw.
I'm almost 4 years off klonopin
This video is one of the absolute best pieces of info
I had surgery 11 days ago and I feel like it sent me back in withdrawal (I know that's not true) but the way my nervous system responds to the stress is wild now
It will calm back down, I’m sure. Hang in there!
Hi Angie. I'm am in my third or fourth year of psychiatric drug withdrawal. After 25 plus years. My brain is not well. Lots of hopelessness, dispare. I don't know how long this will go on but it is so brutal. I feel hopeless. You say exactly what I am experiencing.
One weird thought after the other. Thanks for the suggestions. You are an inspiration.
33 years on lorazepam, shaking legs and feet, cramping feet ,benzo belly, walking like a drunk etcetera, taper slowly, don't Do Anything stupid!!
Thank you for this! You are living proof of healing!
Yes, living proof! If I can heal, anyone can!
Thank you Angie! I'm 15 months off Lexapro and I have been feeling like I'm never going to get better even though I clearly have come a long way. I came to UA-cam to listen to some music to distract myself and this video came up! Perfect timing. It's been a few months since I've watched one of your videos. I should have thought to do that!
The physical symptoms are getting into my head these past two weeks and now I'm having intrusive thoughts again. Then I think, "Its been 15 months! Can this really still be from the Lexapro?"
Yes, it is. So glad this video came up at this moment. Thank you again Angie! You rock!
Thank you so much for sharing. I feel so blessed to know that people understand so well this gong show that I’ve been living for 10 years. Started with a chronic migraine diagnosis….Mom diagnosed with ALS…. Menopause. Twenty two meds in 10 years with a nice opioid dependency thrown into the middle of it for fun. For the record, opioid withdrawl was a breeze compared to benzos. I’m freshly off sertaline two weeks now and still have gabapentin to go. Please keep me in your thoughts. I’m very sorry for anyone going through this.
Angie,❤ You are Good. You are one in a million. It is a pleasure to know you.
Thank you so much!
Thanks for this helpful video.
Mental stuff is the toughest to cope up or navigate from. Feeling of unreality was constant during my taper, and also after coming off (almost 4 months ago,)a thought comes suddenly with an altered state of mind, saying, this is not your real place to be, , you don't know these people ( my children), this is not real, go run away..., this thought pushes me so aggressively mentally, and I feel so frightened and confused with a heavy head. Whatever I am doing, like talking to my children, this thought comes that alters my mind 's visualisation and I feel that this present scene is not real.
It's very difficult to explain, but it's so scary. Will they go away ever?
Thanks for suggesting some skills to overcome that.
I’m so sorry to hear this. I empathise because I have felt the same. For me it comes with a sense of terror. How are you feeling now?
Angie, I was thrust into codeine withdrawal three weeks ago after taking them for four years. I was terrified and had nobody to turn to and your video was the little light in the darkness for me, so I just wanted to say thank you ❤️ for the work you do for us
I'm so glad I could help you during that time. It means the world to me when I read comments like you, not only because I helped a tiny bit but because you survived and healing!
"I was Wendy's and...." That actually made me lol and that is not happening very often.
“Thoughts lie“ - Dr. Daniel Amen. He calls them A.N.T.s = Automatic Negative Thoughts ♥️
This has got to be the BEST video I have ever seen. I’m saving this and watching it daily.
Trying to taper from Zoloft and lamictal right now…
I’m tapering off Zoloft too, the intrusive thoughts are terrible
Omg...this is the best most practical advice I have heard in my 2 year luvox withdrawal descent into hell. I AM GETTING TO WORK ON MY TOP TEN LIST NOW. BTW...YES NIGHTTIME IS THE WORST. I dread sleep. A lesson on peaceful sleep would great. ❤❤❤❤
WOW! I didn’t know about some of these...I see I still have some! THANK YOU for this! ♥️
I have no experience with benzos but im coming off 4 yrs of trt and my hormones are messed up i have been extremely depressed, this video is really helpful.
It does get very intense, what I do is put myself into the place I would be when I was quivertip fishing sat on the rover bank years ago. I am just super focused very intently on watching the tip of my rod waiting for ot to move. It's like a zen state where I am poised to react. I know it sounds silly but that is what I do. Thankyou for your advice Angie I think you are great.
Would you be able to talk about dealing with rage symptoms. This is a scary one for me. At times I feel so angry and threatened that I have a hard time not saying something that I regret afterwards. It just seems to fly out of me. And it is like I can't stop myself. ( I just want to say that I didn't used to react in such a way before. It is embarrassing and shameful for me.) Thank you
sure! I will do that subject next. I am so sorry you are experiencing it too!
@@AngiePeacockMSW Thanks so much. I look forward to that.
I have and do the same. I was never like this before. I get so scared and ashamed as well.
This is a bad one for me too. It started while i was on klonopin and one of the big reasons i ended up on the hospital that ct me.
I'm just over 3 months off K after being poisoned by it for 4 years. I get benzo rage too, and it's horrible. Not like me at all.
I’m 7 years post taper, ten years altogether, and in a horrible wave. I’m assuming it’s from having Covid july 9th then rebound Covid nearly a month later. The day I got Covid I thought a random thought and now it won’t leave. It’s the same thought mixed with other crazy thoughts. It’s very obsessive. It’s about the past and if a family member really cared If “this happened” or if “that happened” it’s completely bizarre and an event from ten years ago. I have such an urgency to bring it up to her but I know it would come out of left field and would honestly probably trigger her or just seem out there. Saying it out loud even sounds irrational. It’s so hard cus I have such an urgency and I want to do anything to get relief. My brain doesn’t stop ever. I’m exhausted and cry nonstop, plus taking care of my daughter alone and working. I feel like a walking secret and the greatest actor in a movie i despise. Thank you for your video. I needed it. 💙
@staceyyvonne4803..... Awwwwww, ❤️ sooooo relate to you!!!!!❤️❤️❤️
The I Am app rocks. It can actually send you the exact affirmation I’ve needed, literally AS I needed that exact one. It’s kinda amazing.
I swear it reads my mind sometimes. It's creepy!
You are an inspiration and your healing story gives me hope that I will heal 🙏
I remember watchingb your first videos like five years ago and now I find myself almost off klonopin after 20 years. It has been a long tough road and it has taken me way too long to taper off and I've made some mistakes. Thanks for all the help.
Im glad you are on better side. Can I ask you did you have "brain lock"? Like your brain just wasn't functioning and came overwhelmed of any normal things and can't understand that people can do normal things and live their lives normally. I'm tapering and suffer that all day. This started 2021 summer when my dog had to put to sleep at the age of 16 and I had terrible panic attacks and was prescriped a big amount of oxazepam and doctor didn't warn me. I almost got rid of these drugs year ago when doctor did crossover to diazepam 10 mg and I got my normal brain back and could see people, my partner, and excersise and have good sleep and first time normal mornings in peace after my dog died. But taper was way too quick and went badly wrong and brain lock and constant fear and fight or flight state came back and I'm isolated a lot because I tell my hell all the time to my loved ones and feel like I'm in a different reality from other people.
Long story after that and now i'm on klonopin (wich was six months ago my doctor's try to get me relief for a while and then taper but it didn't help, brain lock stayed) and I said few weeks ago (when I didn't taper) to my doctor that I think I suffer withdrawl even don't taper and want to taper with Ashton manual and she was willing to read it and we started few weeks ago. I feel awful. I wake up every morning to death. That I can't live like this moatly alone (normally I'm social, confident, active person) brain like this, I fear I have permanent brain damage. I feel depersonalization and derealisation. I try to walk and run brainlock is ruing it and I feel like my brain just shuts down.
Im doing crossover from klonopin to diazepam and the same amount of diazepam is huge. 😥 Back to squere one. I have no power left but I want this drug off of me and have my good life back. I feel every morning that I can't take a day anymore and I have year tapering ahead. My doctor says I have tolerance and that's why klonopin didn't help and I suffer withdrawl symptoms. And she thinks this drug is making me sick and more anxious and I agree. And she thinks when I'm enough long time off of benzo my anxiety will get easier and brain lock will go away. But I just fear it is permanent. It went away year ago when I got relief of my terrible withdwal symptoms of diazepam so hopefully it would go away if I get off and get ali the witdrawl away. Thank you if you can read this, I can't understand this is my life (have never been even drunk) and i'm fightning all the time and feel hopeless to have no power (been this hell for 1,5 years) and long way to go and fear every minute that my brain stays like this and I can't live with brain like this. My brain was scanned in the mri and it was fine.
Thank you if you answer and if you ever felt your brain doesn't function normally and it went away. And the best.
@@lauriina85 I’m sorry to hear this. How are you now?
Excellent Angie!
Thank you for this . I am in a setback after covid i have physical abd mental symptoms. Your description of the mental stuff is so helpful. I have many of the thoughts you desctibe. I know its the w/d voice but its hard and very scary. Very protracted and making it one day at a time.
God bless you for making this ❤
God work 🙏🏽💜 🙏🏽
Brilliant. I was referred to your videos Angie. I’m starting on my ten negative thoughts immediately.
I’m going to listen to this vid over and over
Love Eckhart. He helped me so much!! Thank you for what you’re doing to help all of us!!
This was really great to listen to. I’m not tapering YET but experiencing awful symptoms on two drugs and this helps me to deal with all the thoughts that are coming up for me . Grateful for Angie 🙏🏻❤️
You've come a long way , you're channel is so informative much love ❤️
Are neurological symptoms are different from mental ones. At 11 months off, I usually dont have much intrusion thoughts, but I feel like my mind is bot connected with anything around, I have a cut off feeling from reality, some days it feels I don't know or hard to connect with my family members, or even with my memories. Are these mental symptoms? Will they go away? and I will be able to connect with the world around ever? It's very scary.
This is a symptom many of us in withdrawal experience. It lessens microscopically almost daily . For me , it is noticeably better from when I first recognized it happening. . . You will heal.❤
@@susanmorgan4151 thanks for giving me hope. Now I am almost 13 months off, and you are right, the feeling of disconnection is improving but very slowly.
How are you doing now? How long have you been off? Recently I am having a very bad dry cough, sore throat, with neck pain, is It also a withdrawal symptom? Because it is sometimes on and off. My head nerves are also paining a lot when I lay down.
@@susanmorgan4151I’m so glad to hear. I fear my cognition, memory, and brain processing is gone forever! It just seems impossible at times to consider or accept that symptoms THIS bad could repair.
Hi Angie I found you here. Yay. Thank you
Angie, you are a big ass blessing. Love you so much. Thank you thank you thank you.
Thankyou your amazing and have helped my brain .
I share these kind of truths with everyone "professional" and in person.
Angie, thanks so much. The last few days have been rough. This talk was a great reminder.
Thank you 🙏❤️
Great that you are still making videoes. I can relate to alot of the symptoms. All the best angie, live long and prosper🙂👍
WOW! Going to India! If anything can help, I’d think that would! Just to get their advice if they were masters! Good for you, Angie! 💙🙌🏼🙌🏼
God bless you Angie, you are a brave woman, and have a strong spirit for health. I pray for your total and complete healing ❤️🩹🕊 Thank you for sharing some uncomfortable stuff with your fellows. 😊
Thanks Angie--this is my worst
✌️❤️🤗 Another good book is "Reasons to stay alive" by Matt Haig.
I don’t have the withdrawal issue but I can use everything you say in my healing/grief journey
One thing I would like for you to cover is coping with the physical symptoms. at least for me I am in my 13th month of tapering and have coped well with the mental stuff. But the physical bring me to halt for weeks at a time. Thanks for the videos. They do help
Can you talk about which physical symptoms you have struggled with?
@@AngiePeacockMSW the worst one by far is the insomina. The second worst is the heart pain. The others don't really bother me so much. But the insomina at least happens every time I drop. My last drop was .1mg and it still happened. I am waiting for it to pass again.
@@rodtabassi2883 how about an episode just on sleep? There’s so much to talk about there.
@@AngiePeacockMSW that would be incredibly helpful to me! Thanks!
@@AngiePeacockMSW re physical symptoms... struggling hugely with brain on fire and inner restlessness and crawling skin. Finding it very hard to 'be in the moment' when the moment is so fricken bad!!
This video was sooo helpful thank you
Hey Angie & everyone.....firstly, excellent & very encouraging/helpful video....thank you very much....also, im not sure this is right for everyone, but vitamin E is apparently very helpful for psych and other drug withdrawals, and also helps a lot with tardive dyskinesia from neuroleptics as well as anxiety.....i took 200 UI's daily a few years ago and i really did feel a lot happier, pisitive, foccussed and calm, so it just might be worth a try for everyone out there struggling.....they say that taking 400UI's daily is good for these reasons, including withdrawals symptoms, and you can take up to, i believe, 1200UI's daily also to assist you with the scarry thoughts, and anxity/worry/fear. God bless you all !!!!!!!!!!!❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Hello! I try to stay away from giving advice like this because everyone is so different.
Hi Angie. I'm one of the horror stories. Will I still heal? How does it feel to be able and healthy again. I can barley walk. Please pray for me
Yes even severe cases heal. It just takes some of us longer than others.
Did you feel like your brain doesn't function normally and can't understand a simple thing and become overwhelmed of any normal things and can't understand that people can do normal things and live their lives normally? I suffer it all day and call it brain lock. I hope you and I will heal.
@lauriina85 - how are you now?
Thank you!!
Great video! ❤️
Angie I'm so glad you better. Please will you discuss KINDLELING and how this work and do those people also heal please. Lots of healing love to you and all the warriors
I sure will! Just put it on my list of videos.
I watch it again and again, and it's really helpful, as my mental symptoms are so disturbing. It's very challenging to cope with them, and grounded with the reality, they pull me back so brutally. Now at 9.5 months off, why are they so intense like never before in earlier months? Can a wave also be of mental symptoms? Can we still be in acute at 9.5 months off?
Yes it can still be bad off that’s still early. It can change at any time but just know that the first year is usually the worst for everyone.
@@AngiePeacockMSW thanks for replying. it's hopeful and encouraging.
@@AngiePeacockMSWI am struggling to shift the dial on a 5mg diazepam taper, that I was prescribed and took daily for 7 years. The physical and cognitive symptoms are so unbearable that I find it so difficult to believe they could possibly get better. My cognition, short term memory, processing and sensory experiences often render me unable to even listen to an audiobook. I do have some days better than others, but the intensity and disruption is hard to make peace with - in that this is my (and others) life for a long while to come. I do understand that seems to be the boat we are all stuck in. I would love to understand how we can apply these brilliant ideas from the video even when our cognition won’t allow for focus or activities? TY
Very helpful video.
I am 5 months off, take good care of myself and have an active routine.
With other symptoms, the looping thoughts disturb my mind so much, that my anxiety increases severally, this makes me shaky, and due to these repetitive thoughts , how can healing happen?
If I get a little window, where I feel better, then these thoughts again come repeatedly, and make me worse.
Did you experience these looping thoughts?
How can we cope up with?
Will they go away with time?
Please help
Hi, Angie thanks for doing a video on mental stuff. Now at 10 months off, physical symptoms are manageable except the fatigue, but mental symptoms are so much intense and frequent, it's really much worse than earlier months. I feel like losing my mind. The constant dpdr, disassociation from my body and surroundings, the weird thoughts about my reality of my own existence makes me hopeless and out of my mind.
Will this ever go away? Will I ever be normal?
Yes it will go away. Yes it feels permanent but it is not! Yes it can sometimes ramp itself up and be very intense. Yes it’s normal for 10 months off
@@AngiePeacockMSW thanks for this hopeful message, I really needed it as the mental stuff is so intense and unbearable with an acute head pressure that I was losing hope . I have come so far that I don't want to give up.
Me too. I hope you are feeling a little better now.
I read a lot of comments on these videos, and a lot of people seem to just have a few symptoms that are not very severe, and that makes me scared, like why the hell do have disturbing neurological and brain symptoms. Am i missing something? I am not trying to minimize anyone's suffering. I am just trying to understand. I have neurological that can't even be described or found on the forums or internet, and i don't think there is even a name for them.
There are many that have those symptoms. You are not the only one. I coach many that are too sick to even watch my videos let alone make a comment. There are many with neuro symptoms that are very severe
@AngiePeacockMSW thank you for answering Angie. Yesterday was a terrible night for me. I have a symptom where i feel almost paralysed from head to toe, and it scares the shit out of me. It feels like i lose complete control of my body, and i can barely move or get up. I don't know what the hell that is. Have you seen paralysis- like symptoms before?
@Eliokd YES! That foggy - paralyzed feeling is horrible! I "go with it" , accept it , and give myself time to lay on the couch all day if needed. I try to accomplish one task daily ( brushing my teeth , dishes, whatever I can do) . I believe that is helping. ❤It is getting better, and will get better for you!
@@EliokdI have bad neurological and brain symptoms too. Hard to describe. The first year off I’ve been bedridden and it’s still severe. Not having control over the body and not being able to do anything. It gets worse if I walk, stand, sitting upright for some time (which is nothing for a normal person or 75 year old parents).
Thanks
I was CT-d off benzo almost 5 years off. Not improved much still. Most days cant get out of bed. 24/7 pain. Neck muscle spasming so hard it stops blood flow to brain for moments. Dpdr, anxiety, balance, head and eye and ear pressure. Its non stop 😢. Since CT having many autoimmune diseases. My body just doesnt function, unstable blood pressure, heart rate, blood sugar, temperature regulation. Trying to belive that one day it stops but after so long losing hope 😢
@@tjp-russell one year off is quire early. I have seen most people get bettes 2-3 year.
You still have mental symptoms???? Are you still on any other meds??
@@TheOravatydruk Keep going. You are not alone. Have self compassion. Be good to yourself.
What about people who are tapering who are severely depressed about the whole situation and feel like they can’t go on and the symptoms haven’t really even gotten severely awful yet ? So when they do get severe it’s almost like game over for someone who is stuck in that mindset.
This video applies to EVERYONE either tapering or off and especially to your situation!
@ Adam
When I began tapering 7 months ago I felt really depressed and my anxiety about tapering was irrational. I listened to everyone else’s story and made it my story. I had a lot of mental symptoms for the first 4 months. I thought I was going to have a really awful withdrawal experience and I was scared that it was going to get so bad that I wasn’t going to make it.
The truth for me is that after the worst of 4 months things started to get better. I worked on the lies my brain was telling me and responded to them by telling myself that’s not true and distracting myself from them.
I have 2 months more to taper and right now I can’t believe how scared I was in the beginning and how far I have come and I haven’t died and I haven’t acted on anything my brain was telling me to do. You can go on! Choose something to live for. Tell yourself that those negative thoughts are lies.
@@megan-oy2tj
I’ve been tapering 14 months. Been on 16.5 years. I’m having bad mental symptoms the whole way. Feel like I’m really loosing my mind.
@@megan-oy2tj you couldn’t have said that better! I tell people all the time that they could get better as they taper and that not everyone has a horrible experience. Your experience is YOUR EXPERIENCE and no one else’s! Stay in that!!
I feel the bad depression and have traumatised everything have happened for 1,5 years.
My hell started in summer 2021 when my dog had to put to sleep at the age of 16 and I had terrible panic attacks and prescriped a big amount of oxazepam and doctor didn't warn me. And became to suffer brain lock. I don't understand simple things and can't understand that people can do normal things and can't understand that people live their normal lives.
I tapered and was in bad withdrawl symptons of oxazepam and doctor did crossover from oxazepam to diazepam year ago. My brain lock went away and I could see my partner and mom and other people (now and then I'm isolated mostly alone because I'm just tell my hell all the time to my loved ones and feel like I'm in a different reality from other people) and för sleep and normal peaceful mornings back. I got my normal life back and taper of diazepam went few weeks good but went way too fast and then went badly wrong. Brain lock came back. Depression came back.
Long story and now i'm prescriped klonopin (My doctor prescriped that to get me relief for a while and then taper but it didn't help) and after six months of klonopin and can barely go to store, feel depersonalization and derealisation. If I try to walk and run brainlock is ruing it and I feel like my brain just shuts down. Can't do much. I wake up every morning to death and fear all day brain lock is permanent. So I said to my doctor that I think I suffer withdrawl even don't taper and want to taper with Ashton manual and she was willing to read it and we started few weeks ago. I feel awful and because of klonopin the same amount of diazepam is huge. Back to squere one. I have no power left but I want this drug off of me and have my good life back. I'm normally confident active social person and I suffer to be alone. Thank you if you can answer if you had any problems with brain function. Hope you all the best.
Hi Angela, I am 5 month off xanax now, but experiencing frequent very much disturbing intrusive type thoughts about my own existance and reality, they leave me shaking with extreme anxiety. The brain fog and confusion type of feeling with heavy head has also increased severaly.
These are so intense, and make me worse than ever before. I am really losing hope to get better with time.
Why these are so frequent and intense now?
am I getting stuck in some mental loop?
Please help.
Sometimes it can get a little worse before it gets better. DO NOT BELIEVE THE THOUGHTS. Watch this video over and over for reassurance if you need it but these thoughts leave!
@@AngiePeacockMSW thanks. It really helps. I am watching your videos again and again, they are full of hope 🙏
Did you have depersonalisation and derealisation also?
Yes for a few years and it was very intense
@@AngiePeacockMSW oh my goodness, a few years… I have only recently discovered you, as I have only recently discovered that the bizarre symptoms that I had walked around with for four months after coming down from 5mg to 2mg of diazepam were actually withdrawal… I am now stuck at 0.8mg with akathisia… I am a single mom of 2 teenagers and willing to do whatever it takes, but reading that this could take years… They need me right now… I wish I had never ever touched diazepam (prescribed for menopausal symptoms) 😔 I thought I had seen the worst with the derealisation but then came the intrusive thoughts and the akathisia, now I just don’t know whether to taper more or not…
Anyway, thank you for your video’s…
YES! Getting better though, 15 months out.❤
Hey
Angela thank you for the video. Do you have any on Akathesia?
No I sure don’t because I didn’t have the movement / pacing like others. I would look to the akathisia group for better advice than I can give. I had the inner, not so much the outer.
Is there an akathisia group you can point me to? Thank you Angie. @@AngiePeacockMSW
@@jayking3267 I have many with aka in my groups. The groups online and reddit are pretty harmful to people so I wouldn't recommend them.
Did you have anhedonia/emotional blunting as well? if so, how long did it last after stopping meds?
Oh yes and for many years. Most of my feelings are all back now! I also feel things more deeply and was always sensitive to the world. I see it as my superpower.
Did you have feelings of extreme guilt too? Or blame?
rumination of old trauma, of conversations in my head, self-hate, benzo rage. All of us have these to some extent it just depends what the neuroemtion attaches itself to,
In the previous videos, you said you didn't have brain damage then now, you do? Or do you mean temporary damage that heals?
Temporary
How long did it take you to heal?
I'm about 80% healed I would say and I will be 7 years off in January. Do not compare my story to yours because I was cold turkey'd off Ativan at the end but was on more than 45 psychiatric drugs in a 13 year period and had come on and off benzos many times before.
wheres don killian?
He's apparently in a setback from listening to binaural beats and possibly from other meds. I am not quite sure of what happened exactly.
Don’t click on that thought.
💐🫶🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼💫🇦🇺
Can i talk with you? I need supporr
www.angiepeacock.com
Thanks
Thank you 💜