The Schlapp’s Exorcist | Chapo Trap House
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- Опубліковано 5 вер 2023
- Episode 764 - The Schlapp’s Exorcist (9/5/23)
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We hope everyone had a nice labor day.. Today, we’ve got and episode of rivalries: Musk vs. the ADL, the Schlapps vs. Demonic possession, Men (all) vs. Houseplants, Diarrhea vs. Air Travel, and Techno-Libertarians vs. Mud.
#chapotraphouse #chapo
If gardeners are so useless during a war, how does she explain Samwise Gamgee?
Someone's gotta provide the food.
I call them defeat gardens
And just who do these biddies think is growing all the tobacco, opium, coca, and weed in this damn ass world? They grow it for you, sweetie!
In ww1, the Bulgarian army had entire divisions dedicated to farming vegetables and herding cattle to feed their army, and the French and German armies used POWs as farm laborers, often the prisoners on farms were the best fed!
Checkmate nerds
This isn’t a British person.
“What?!”
This isn’t a British person.
“This is a regular American? Ok this person has issues”
It is both ironic and hilarious that Matt's grandfather tried to avoid action in WW2 by joining the merchant marine, since it was the US branch of service that had, by far, the highest casualty rates.
classic bavarian oafishness
My landlord destroyed and woodchipped my garden this year. I had poured my soul into it through Covid lockdowns and it became an anchor for my mental health. Fig Tree Girl resonated a bit.
EDIT: it gets more fucked up, he was texting me with links to YT videos on aquaculture set-ups the entire time bc he fancied himself as a gardener and thought we shared a common interest (as he is killing my garden). He then got upset that it looked bare, so he went to a nursery, brought back a bunch of plants and put them pot and all into holes in the soil in the front garden. They are now rootbound and dying. I am not allowed to take them out and plant them properly because it is legally theft and interference in my (Western) country
I don't consider myself a Maoist, but the dude was right about landlords.
He should have ran himself through the woodchipper
Why did this misunderstanding persist?
@@justcommenting4981 because he is my landlord and can make me houseless in a city where there is no protection for houseless people
@@justcommenting4981 while we'r at it, dont frame the destruction of a living ecosystem as a "misunderstanding". It is ecocide. There are no insects, birds or wildlife left where the garden once was. It is needless, pointless destruction in the midst of a mass extinction event.
The greatest shitplane in history was Japanese Airlines incident in 1975, when 197 people ate the contaminated omelets for breakfast on approach to Copenhagen. A Boeing 747, with a total of 344 passengers, 14 bathrooms, and 197 people spewing out both ends for 90 minutes, 150 of whom required hospitalization, none of whom were the same again.
I like to imagine the 1st class section had some of those closing doors to separate them from all of the unwashed masses, and of course, due to some sort of fancy steak breakfast, didn't get sick. But the sliding doors to the poors section starts to buckle, and eventually breaks open. It's like that scene in the Shining with the elevator, but instead it's just liquid frothy sh*t flowing in.
It's also better to be a warrior in a garden than a warriors in a war. Really, the garden is just always preferable to a warzone.
They played margaritaville for a sec and it left me with nostalgia and existential dread in equal measures.
As it should. This shit is evil, you know?
the movie trailer that tries to wring gravitas outta Italian Russell Crowe saying "talk to my-a boss: da *pope* " is the hardest I've ever laughed in a theatre
I want to hear Mark Wahlberg talk about how if he had been on the diarrhea plane, things wouldn't have gone down that way.
My immediate thought.
This is hilariously adorable, I have a large garden, and not only does my wife not have any interest in it, but actively gets annoyed when I spend more than a few hours in it or a few minutes talking about it. She does love the fresh cucumber and peppers though, so that feels nice when she admits it's worth it.
The cucumber she tells you not to worry about. Your wife's cucumber.
+1, the stereotyping that hardly applies at all in my life did give me a chuckle
No Felix? NO FELIX?!....alright i'll still listen
Haven’t you heard? Felix isn’t funny
"men kill plants!" Yells the woman who threatened to kill her father's pothos and damage the landscapers van
Men don't love any specific plants enough that they would threaten other plants in a fit of passion to exact revenge!
I never realized how seriously suburbanites took “lawn culture” I grew up in a trailer park and/or low-rent exurban areas where the “lawn” was just the grass outside the house. You mowed it occasionally and watered it only when it died and started to yellow. I remember trenching my own lawn with a 4 wheeler at 12 with my entire families consent and when the landlord told me to stop my dad called the landlord gay and my uncle threatened to kill him. We had nothing and were okay with it because we had fun & each other. Suburbanites have nothing but have convinced themselves they have something thus making an arbitrary object like their patch of grass a totem for their illusion of something, which they’ll kill for. Sad existence
That article writer clearly hasn't met dudes homegrowing weed, those dudes can get really weird with it
Chris has such a soothing voice that he fully classes up the pod.
SCHLAPP SCHLAPP SCHLAPP SCHLAPP
GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT
I honestly think I will see an American Orthodox Church in my lifetime and that thought is horrifying.
Did my time in the 1st Cav on tanks. Went to the desert, where no gardeners were present. Maybe the Middle East just needs more gardeners?
useless trivia: that was a lot of its problem
the middle east used to be an awful lot greener, but farm intensively enough for long enough and you will eventually kill the earth itself. nutrients are exhausted, wells start bringing up salt, and what was a green field in your great grandfather's day becomes a sandy waste in yours. please do not ask how much is left of the aquifer that feeds most of the american midwest btw.
@@xalrathhow much is left?
@@joshuamarx8209 the Ogallala Aquifer is fine for at least another [inaudible] years
Well timed release to get us through the week!
I'll have to make sure to never take the brown eye flight from ATL to Barcelona
I wonder if the Schlapp's asked Rod Dreher for a reference to a good exorcist?
The thought that all men are warriors, and all women are gardeners is pretty funny.
Ha I just so happened to watch The Pope’s Exorcist last week. Piece of shit but partly redeemed by the many scenes of rotund Russell riding around Europe on his teeny tiny scooter. Some funny/curious Catholic revisionism too. At one point Crowe’s character laments that he didn’t do more to help the victims of Vatican sex abuse, who in this fiction are all adult women. He teams up with a local priest who struggles with his own guilt over having had an inappropriate sexual relationship with a parishioner - also an adult woman. Make of this what you will.
Lol these Catholic priests are only as guilty as milkmen delivering loads to lonely housewives.
Catholicism is and has been Protestantism since before your bloodline..
papists will molest ur child then make a movie about how that made them feel sad and also how the gays are the devil
His name is Dick Fuld, er Matt Schlapp. You cannot make this shit up.
Real straight hours, folks
I guess Adam Friedland had a change of flight plans 💩
Orchids are just trying to die, they’re fuckin hopeless
BUT HOW CAN SHE SCHLAPP?!
Who among us has never demolished a lady garden or two in our time? Also, hearing Adrian Chiles mentioned on Chapo feels like I'm having a hallucination.
"cactuses" lol - cooking is a good gateway to gardening, nice work on the heirloom tomato mention
How funny is it that Felix isn't here when they talk about being a "gardener in a war"
Yeah, my dad had and has a tendency to be a bit agressive when it comes to cutting down the plants in late fall, as well as mowing around the edges of the gardens too aggressively. Recently, he pulled up some milkweed that was given to us by a friend of my mom’s, but thankfully, it had a bunch of rhizomes in the waiting that popped a bunch of new shoots up.
we all care
this artwork is dope, it never gets old, especially the CIA top secret memo on the table next to the gaming earphones.
I think the books by gorka and knausgaard lying on the floor was even funnier
@ohbluescouser6267 the gorka appearances are to me, peak chapo
I think the Chapo boys need to own up and finally reveal it to their fans....that was Virgil on the diarrhea flight to Barcelona. He was the culprit.
Well done. Funny as hell
Someone got paid to write that plants vs oafs article. Jesus Christ.
The schlapps are back!
40:06 I love Andrew Chiles so much. Just pure, innocent day-to-day minutia in his writing.
Is Matt talking through a guitar amplifier? Not complaining, but I think it could be further enhanced by adding some flange
The lawn bit made me want to see the boys get Crime Pays but Botany Doesn't on the show. It would be pretty cool I think
this would be pretty interesting, love Joey
Noon Central African Time once more, enkosi Chapo
How do you boys like yer schlappy joes? I made em extra schlaaaappy fer yas!
Will called a plane a "hermetically sealed soda can" that's accurate
Trumps comedian timing is impeccable...
@9:59 for the start of the Jimmy Buffet discussion, if you're like me and have been listening to it on repeat
I'm ready to get schlapped baybeeee
They pretty much just upload whenever 😅
They took labor day off as if podcasting is a real job
Like when it’s ready?
if Trump was going to take so many vacations, then the least he could have done was advocate for more time off for the forgotten man. America has 0 guaranteed days off, which is literally the lowest possible amount. I get the chapo boys love Trump, but as a wage slave, he's wrong for this one 💁♀️
They "love" Trump the same way cape comics fans love the Joker (I'm talking the Mark Hamill or Heath Ledger versions, not Arthur Fleck). The concept of Trump as a fictional chaotic evil villain character is _very_ entertaining, the only problem is he's a real person with real power who does evil shit in real life.
10:00 your missing the point. People payed extra attention to Trumps golfing because he criticized Obama for it saying he’d be too busy “running the country” to golf. It’s, to liberals, a direct measure of his hypocrisy.
Of course the point of highlighting hypocrisy is as a persuasive tool and so far no persuasive argument or evidence has been found to bring Trump supporters back from the brink.
44:40 standard pruning for a grape vine is to take off like 90% of the material, so to kill one by pruning is...almost incredible lol.
Turder on the Orient Express
Get you a girl who can Schlapp
These guys need to take a turf class😂
places everybody!
6:00 "Lets bog roll"
Why is the audio so terrible
Your ears are gaslighting you.
Felix was there doing the Live mixing.
matt does not understand what a microphone is let alone what a level is
if you have an aphid problem, use wasps.
If anyone's interested in The Original Poop Plane you may enjoy this preview of WTYP's bonus episode from a few months back ua-cam.com/video/OEO5Zgbhc1Q/v-deo.html
Mom found the poop plane
Dónde está fucking baño?
Shows good when producer guy talks more, especially bouncing off Matt. Helps counter the work from home vibes
Yeah Matt and Chris have great on air chemistry
@@burieddagger8064yeah they should do a podcast or two together
6:00 “Red Eye”? You mean Pink Eye
Is there a difference between Pink Eye and Pink Guy?
Matt's microphone sounds terrible 😫
Felix has been absent a lot lately. I wonder if he's on his way out
Wasn’t he on the last episode?
He's my lover...schlapp!
He's my intern...schlapp!
He's my lover...schlapp!
He's my intern...
Hey, are you guys going after the independent yt guys who clip your show? Because if so, I'm outtie af.
The ones who clip nah, they literally let acid Marxist post an 8 hour video lol. The ones uploading full patreon episodes tho yea.
@@freddiekruger3339 if you still pay for Chapo you gotta be dumb at this point lol. I never would either way but its so easy to get patreon feed
Ok, you won't be missed.
Are they really doing exorcism. That just sounds like blessing of premises. But I suppose we Catholics does expect house or office blessings to exorcise bad spirits. 😀
It was probably just a blessing and the Schlapps and their henchmen were too dumb to tell the difference. For instance, Catholic exorcisms require the presence of a doctor and a relative of the same sex as the subject.
Convenient that Felix isn't on to discuss the allegations.
?
Yeah the internet doesn't really matter unless you want it to.
He’s never beating the being Jewish allegations 😔
You mean the allegations about being the doodoo-ass guy on the plane?
Bring back Brendan full time
first, and gay
hell yea brother
Matt, calm down. you're gonna have a stroke
good one
just skip to 6:30 -- idk why they even discussed this airplane story.
Thank you
You're in a hurry for someone listening to an hour long podcast
@@maxwellkazemba2299 it’s not about speed, the story is gross
cuz doo doo is funny???
more of im struggling to see the point in discussing violent explosive diarrhea that some rando 3rd party had on an ostensibly, left-wing political podcast@@maxwellkazemba2299
The "a woman's job in the home is to tend the lawn, and a man's job is to kill her plants" suburban thing is true though. The only guy I know who does anything with plants besides mow and kill them is gay. I'm a dude, so I wouldn't know, but I guess there's some kind of subculture among suburban women about plants, where they like talk about plants and encourage each other to waste time gardening so their husbands can kill the plants they grow.
Honestly women should just either make communal gardens, instead of house lawns, where they can hang out and grow """herbs""" and flowers and whatever, and their men aren't allowed near them, or else they should just get into gaming like normal people. Trying to turn your house's lawn into a garden is just silly.
Lawns are silly. Growing plants is never silly. Wtf is wrong with you?
Hey pal, you just blow in from stupid town? Here's a first for you, I'm a man who enjoys taking care of houseplants and gardens and doesn't enjoy mowing.
@@gobblu Good for you.
@@OrbStealer It's true. Suburban people are weird. That's not even getting into all the underpaid immigrants (mostly men) who are hired to mow lawns, fiddle with trees, and (despite the article's implications) tend gardens.
I think people are misreading the tone of my post. I'm not saying like "gardening is for _gay girls_ lol!!" It's just my own experience with this subject based on living in the American suburbs. It makes people very odd, and what the article describes is definitely a real phenomenon. Not a _universal_ phenomenon, obviously, but definitely a thing.
I do think communal neighborhood gardens instead of house lawns would be a good idea though.
God, Felix is so unfunny
Also last night I frotted a filipino in a field
He's not even in this one. Jesus, I wish I enjoyed anything as much as people hate Felix.
@@kazumahazeuzumakilol does this prove the guy doesn’t even listen to the eps? What a fumble