The Power in Loneliness
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- Опубліковано 27 тра 2024
- You have to be able to like to be alone. It is a very important skill in life because you will inevitably face such moments. In this video, I describe the importance of being okay with loneliness.
Robert Greene is the author of the New York Times bestsellers The 48 Laws of Power, The Art of Seduction, The 33 Strategies of War, The 50th Law, Mastery, The Laws of Human Nature, and most recently, The Daily Laws.
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What gives you a sense of community? How do you deal with loneliness? Let me know in the comments ⬇
I try to read and get new ideas or watch UA-cam videos that's how I even came across your book for the first time in 2023. Then I tried to binge watch your interviews and podcasts.
Currently alone and looking back at the growth, I've learnt how to connect with people more (when I am out there) with the little chance.
Thank you for doing whatever you did to put out all these subliminal books.
Davui from Africa, Ghana
In my journey through loneliness, I found solace and transformation in the idea conveyed by the quote, 'Pray that your loneliness may spur you into finding something to live for, great enough to die for.-Dag Hammarskjold' This profound thought resonated with me deeply, serving as a beacon through my darker times. It propelled me to search within and around me for a purpose that was not just a distraction but a calling.
As I discovered my passion, I realized that my focus and energy had shifted significantly. My loneliness, once a constant companion, began to fade into the background, overshadowed by the enthusiasm and fulfillment derived from pursuing my newfound goals. It was as if in finding something that truly mattered to me, something I was willing to dedicate my life to, the weight of solitude lifted.
The loneliness that once seemed insurmountable became a catalyst for profound personal growth and engagement. I no longer felt defined by it, nor did I feel it with the same intensity. Instead, my passion and commitment to my cause filled those spaces, providing me with a sense of belonging and direction.
In essence, by finding something that captivated my heart and mind so completely, I inadvertently rendered my loneliness irrelevant. It's a journey I believe many could benefit from, turning inward to discover what truly moves them, and in doing so, transcending the solitude that once held sway over their lives.
In my journey through loneliness, I found solace and transformation in the idea conveyed by the quote, 'Pray that your loneliness may spur you into finding something to live for, great enough to die for.-Dag Hammarskjold' This profound thought resonated with me deeply, serving as a beacon through my darker times. It propelled me to search within and around me for a purpose that was not just a distraction but a calling.
As I discovered my passion, I realized that my focus and energy had shifted significantly. My loneliness, once a constant companion, began to fade into the background, overshadowed by the enthusiasm and fulfillment derived from pursuing my newfound goal. It was as if in finding something that truly mattered to me, something I was willing to dedicate my life to, the weight of solitude lifted.
The loneliness that once seemed insurmountable became a catalyst for profound personal growth and engagement. I no longer felt defined by it, nor did I feel it with the same intensity. Instead, my passion and commitment to my cause filled those spaces, providing me with a sense of belonging and direction.
In essence, by finding something that captivated my heart and mind so completely, I inadvertently rendered my loneliness irrelevant. It's a journey I believe many could benefit from, turning inward to discover what truly moves them, and in doing so, transcending the solitude that once held sway over their lives.
I grew up in a family full of conflict, so I learned to love the peace of being alone. Now I am 48 years old, live alone with my dog and like it this way.
I get a sense of community at work ( with co-workers from 20 to 53 years old, from different countries and I love the way we work together). I also like the sense of community with other dog owners. Simple things but on a daily basis.
I have also a sense of community with a good friend of mine, who live in another country and with my "Lebensmensch" (that's german for "person of my life" )
Being alone is ideal for me if I'm doing something creative (hobbies) and as a mean of recovery after interacting with many people (clients and co-workers).
Many years ago (20?) I read your book "48 laws of Power" and "the Art of seduction". A couple of weeks ago, you popped on my UA-cam feed 😊 I like listening to you and I am re-discovering your work.
Pray that your loneliness may spur you into finding something to live for, great enough to die for.-Dag Hammarskjold
Sometimes I do feel lonely, but I rather be alone than be with toxic people.
Get yourself a nice partner and focus on your work and purpose. As an introvert, I'd rather be isolated and heal myself than in a crowd with mindless sheeps.
@@True38There is nothing like "Sheeps" my good friend.😊
Yes Me To,
It is always better to be alone than in a sh**** relationship
True
I'm a simple man. I see Mr. Robert greene, i click.
I read "click" as "dick" 😅
Thank you for watching.
real
Same here 😂
Ummm.....yes.
I’d rather be alone than be with people who make me feel alone.
Because you don’t like… feeling alone ? 🤨
@@Takiki There’s a big difference between solitude and being made to feel alone. Huge difference.
I recognise those words 😢
Yes 100% the only way my family can accept me is being their little bxtch,they make out they are really good people and alot of people fall for it😢
@@ws5826that’s an interesting perspective. I will ponder it.
Loneliness = poverty of self, sadness from lack of friends
Solitude = richness of self, happiness with your own company
@PrinceKoopaTell us what's right and don't hold back.
Happiness =connecting with a person on the same frequency as you. That's heaven.
Every human is different so every human has different types of happiness @@roses6564
@@roses6564Happiness is state of mind. And you have a lot more control over your state of mind than you do over another person.
Very well put ❤
"If you are lonely when you're alone, you are in bad company." - Jean-Paul Sartre
That’s a bar lmao
_"Hell is other people."_
That's my favorite JPS quote! So true!
BOOM!
I'm happiest in my own company. My stress s in life all came from others.
You can actually block out other people that stressed you. There's a technique called filtering. Other people's problems are theirs, don't let them invade you. I have learnt it as a well coping mechanism and it works well.
I couldn't agree more ❤
I like that !
Facts
Same
I love being alone. For many years I forced myself to be an extrovert. Partly because I didn't know or like myself much and partly because society tells us we should have a lot of friends. Truth be told I am an introvert. Took many years to be ok with myself and eventually love who I am and now being alone is a joy!
I think that I think this is what is happening to me
Look up Within Heaven's Gates by Rebecca Springer. Page 64 😇
❤❤
I went through the same process. The moment I accepted myself as an introvert, I felt free.
I've found going on holiday on my own is the most liberating thing I've ever done
How did you find it? I'm considering doing similar myself
Wow! Your too pretty to be alone.
@ryu029 I did city breaks, so not so obvious you're alone, and just long weekends at first just to see how I felt. but more you do more confidence you build.
Did that once in Bali. It was incredibly annoying when this street kid kept hanging around my hotel and would literally follow me whenever I walked down the street. He's symbolic of people in general when I want to be left alone.
@ohmannonotnow your is a possessive determiner.
Perhaps you meant you You’re which is a contraction for you are.
I enjoy the silence when I am alone. It sparkles the air that I breathe in.
Love this!
" Better to be alone than to have bad company "
Precisely correct!
I've learned to be alone I'd rather be alone then be with someone that doesn't value me
The feeling of loneliness only creeps in when I am being objectified, lied to, or manipulated in some way. Loneliness for me is always in relation to other people, never the absence of them. A sense of community, of belonging, I've only ever gotten from nature. I still remember the love and contentment I felt as a kid tooling around in the woods and fields by our house. Our home was cold and hostile but out there I felt alive and cared for. It was wonderfully soothing. I am thankful to have had the chance to experience nature in such a way.
Someone who is capable of being alone for long periods of time and whenever they are out, socializing, they still can converse with others without being socially awkward. It's like they have not missed a beat.
That describes me. When I'm social I'm very social but I also guard my alone time and rarely let others infringe on it.
When I do feel lonely, which happens around birthdays or Christmas when I miss family who have passed away, I just remind myself of the good times we had and treasure them.
@@feralkat9370 Indeed. That's practically all that can be done. Smile or day dream about the good times, while being glad you were able to experience them 👍
omg wow this is so true it kind of makes you confident in a way ..
Robert always gives me the feeling that everything is going to be okay.
Yes, yes he does… ❤
At times I find myself lonely and seeking others company...I'm often disappointed when I find company.
I wish more people would realise how much of a advantage they have being alone, its truly a matter of perspective
One day I realized that almost all of my best and happiest memories are of times when I was alone, and most of my sad and painful memories are when others were involved
Wow, true for me too.
@@tnt01 : I hope you find the right people around you to have great and positive memories soon. It is one of the best thing to share a great moment with other people.
@@brainstorm3k loyalty is hard to find nowadays.
Really for me too
Facts
The beauty of nature and reverence for God fixes my loneliness.
I often feel annoyed when others speak to me with condescending pity, as I prefer solitude rather than to waste time with those who drain my energy. I recognize that it's their projection, because it is the rare person who can be alone and not lonely. There is a blessing in a season of solitude. I count my true friends as blessings, like the gems they are.
Yeah I remember my parents told me they were concerned I was lonely. They then realize I really wasn't since this new age, we are able to be social online. I basically am able to stay in touch with high school friends who really are a huge good influence because of discord and social media. One friend kept wondering why I wasn't finding a woman to potentially date but he realized that I was so heavily working on myself so much that when he saw the change I made from when I met him, he realized I was working on myself first. Also that I wasn't in a rush.
To be alone produces the finest minds
Schopenhauer quote. Nice.
Yep.
I think, on the contrary, the finest minds tend toward solitude.
@@mainstreet3023 But that still directs to his statement.
Debatable. lol
Robert Greene is a treasure. He saved my life.
Take good care of yourself Sir. We really need your wisdom and knowledge. Difficult to find pure honesty nowadays.
So glad you found him. He changed my life, too. I recommend his books constantly to my clients.
Be real. You saved your life
@@PrinceKoopa I can comfortably say that Robert Greene has God-given knowledge and his wisdom describes reality with honesty. You can actually say that a man is honest by reading his books. I judge the man by his words. He is an honest man, and I invite him to read about the prophet of Islam Muhammed.
I love being alone. The solitude of it.
Same here 😌🙂
Yes
I’ve always enjoyed being alone, and never get bored. I connect with Nature and animals easily. I love to read, learn, and express myself creatively. I’ve chosen to live alone (with cats) for most of my adult life. It’s so liberating! Many years ago I realized that I feel most like myself when I’m alone. Authenticity!
Living alone but with a cat/cats makes a lot of difference. They bring so much joy and comfort.
Me too
@@jannyhansum9716Absolutely agree!
I live alone with my cats too! One is sleeping beside me on the couch as I type this. 🙌🏽 ❤
Indeed it is🎉
Being lonely is painful, being around others is truly intolerable.
😂😂 true
Hang in there, I know that people can overwhelm you and me. Practice, decent responses to their predictable verbal attacks(they seem like attacks). Observe what others say in similar situations.
Sometimes ! ... living alone is living free !
I always reply this when people don’t understand why I enjoy to be alone: I am not alone, I am with myself ❤
I love being alone; it’s peaceful, calm, helps me focus
We spend the most time with ourselves embrace loneliness!
I am alone. I moved away from all my family 4 years ago to a different city, I don't know anyone. Fortunately I have been a loner most of my life, I am 66 so I can cope, I have hobbies. I get down times of course but what really helps me to stay happy is to count my blessings and I mean really count them. Way them up, think about them, know them. Keeps me sane and happy.
I love being alone….rarely get lonely. Life is good. 😊
Yes🎉😮
Not lonely…alone. There is a big difference.
I love swimming, being in water, napping and sleeping alone. It’s peaceful.
I had a life surrounded by people, events, distractions, business. Life happened and I found myself on a journey that required being alone. Having thoroughly experienced both sides, I prefer being alone. It's the condition most conducive to spiritual awakening. "All of humanity's problems stem from mans inability to sit quietly in a room alone." Blaise Pascal.
You can still feel lonely and not literally live alone. Broken people make others feel more lonesome than living all alone. Being comfortable alone is a superpower in its own right
When you are alone you can be yourself.
One of the loneliest times in my life was in a crowded party full of people. The way I perceive it, loneliness is about being disconnected, feelings of abandonment, helplessness, fear, worthlessness, inadequacy and the odd one out. In solitude, my mind provides me with enough mental nourishment and stimulation, but I do like human company in small doses. Also, in the other extreme, there are people who drain your energy, by being too clingy, talkative and encroach on your personal space. That's another form of loneliness.
I am alone a lot and I love it.
I love being alone …I never feel lonely 🤷♀️
I never feel alone when I am doing something I enjoy - I know that I am the only certain constant in my life, so I work to appreciate my solitude.
i have mastered the skill of being alone all my life; no one wanted to be a part of my life. and it continues, yes its lonely
Everything I've achieved in my mini world, in my early 20s, I did it alone and I'm glad I did that. I only needed the guidance of 48 Laws of Power, Mastery, Art Of Seduction and later in the years, Laws of Human Nature. I wish people knew the power of being comfortable with loneliness.
What a great advice!
It’s good to see someone comfortable going it alone at such a young age
Which book first?
@@oneminutedaily6394 48 Laws of Power
I'm ok being alone, I mean that but what hurts is knowing that no one wants to be with me, that really hurts
I HATE dealing with people.
Same
My problem is that I feel lonely in the midst of other people but feel full and at peace when I’m alone
Sounds like it's not a problem at all.😊
I used to feel sad when going to social events and being the only person without a friend or spouse. Instead, I learned to embrace the time with myself and enjoy the ride. It's liberating and brings joy in the experience of life.
In times long past, I found myself alone, without a father, scarcely any family, and no friends. It was a difficult period, until one day something came over me-I can even recall the precise moment-and ever since, I've managed to improve my life in every conceivable manner. Since this challenging phase, I've learned to be comfortable in solitude. Nowadays, I see many who struggle with it.
Aloneness is so peaceful and powerful at the same time ☺️
Society calls us loners weak when realistically they are the ones who are terrified of being alone while we take it in our stride and gain strength from it.
Robert, the only thing that could make your books better is if you narrate them yourself for the audiobooks❤ you are not just an excellent writter and the best story teller but your voice manage is perfect; tone, intonation etc. There is something very special about listening to you that really hipnotizes me😊
I agree!
Agreed
Absolutely agree
Abolutely, he's got a beautiful voice..
I often look to see if the author is the narrator of any audio book I’m considering. That one consideration makes up 1/2 of my decision to buy. Speaks to the writers commitment to the works! Albeit not every author has a voice that will add value.
Love being an introvert. I can do ok with others. But in limited doses. Alone time gives you more room to truly discover who you are. Deep reflection, really getting the chance to observe human emotions. To see people for who they really are. Quietness can cause others to feel uncomfortable. When you're ok and accepting of who you are, being around others who are quiet, won't rattle you.
I am 65. I am now living off grid in the countryside. I do have a few neighbours but we all enjoy being alone and we respect that with each other. I am more content than I’ve ever been. On occasion I head into where it’s ‘busy’ and what a wonderful feeling it is to know my blissful solitude awaits as soon as I want it ( which increasingly happens more quickly 😊)
Robert Greene is that one uncle we all need❤️!
I read the laws of human nature, the 48 laws of power and I just finished the 33 strategies of war 😊😊I'm now moving on to mastery
Hope you enjoy reading Mastery.
7 years Dealing with Depression, anxiety, loneliness .no friends ,nothing 😢
Being alone is scary sometimes but its not so bad when it becomes more of a regular thing.
every day i didn't spend alone was wasted. Robert Bly.
Being alone and have me time is bliss!
- it is Completely normal to be alone a lot of the time
- people are Very different, do what works for you
- Appreciate yourself, someone loves you
I just happen to spend most of my time thinking and having converstions inside my head so loneliness can't harm me.
Hey Robert, i just wanted to let you know you are like the wise grandfather i never had. Thank you.
I lost my mother just before Christmas after caring for her for three and a half years.
I've never felt more alone.
But I'm thankful I had so much time with her
God bless you and your mother.
I feel you my friend I lost my mom just before Christmas as well. I think about her and miss her everyday. Be well ❤️🩹✌️💙💪🌹🙏
@andrews127 Thank you..she was a good age of 86 but it was sudden and unexpected because she was doing well..spent the hour before singing along to Christmas Carols.
God Bless!🙏
@laurenfinucci7305 Thankyou.
I'm sorry for your loss.
Yes,it's very hard.
What was really bad for me was I took her to A+E at the hospital the day before for the same symptoms..but they put her on a drip for an hour and said I could take her home.
@@borderlord I happened to be with my mother when she passed. Same scenario as it was sudden and it was horrendous She had ischemic heart disease and the heart just stopped.
I’m okay with being alone,it’s everyone else that thinks it’s not okay and try to send you messages that it’s weird. Thing is it’s their fear that’s too afraid of being alone.
I create something. Then i don't want to be interrupted while in that creation mode. I'm satisfied with my inner dialogue and outward actions
It's the best thing.
Being part of an online community makes me feel less alone and its often difficult to find like-minded people in the real world. Its better to be alone than having to pretend to be someone you're not just to get along.
I love being alone; I revel in my abandon 🤗
I don't think humans need to socialize as much as they say. I am alone 24 7, I never interact with others, haven't for over a decade. I'm fine, thriving even. People only bring me down. There's no need to force yourself to socialize. Stop looking to others to make you happy. It's all inside of you.
I watched a video of a psychiatrist who said the "lone wolf" mentality is a result of trauma. Speaking as a lone wolf myself, I agree with this assessment. I find much more comfort in being on my own than around people socializing, but that's because I adapted to loneliness in my childhood due to the emotional neglect I experienced. I have trust and abandonment issues, and socializing triggers a trauma response within myself, and it's the main reason I stay in solitude. I'm in therapy and trying to overcome this, but it's not easy. My safe place is in isolation, but I am aware that it's not healthy.
There's nothing wrong with finding a balance between solitude and socializing. I have the solitude part down to a science, I can probably live alone for the rest of my life, but I also know that will be a very lonely journey. There's value in both connecting with others and connecting with yourself alone, and I think bringing yourself to that middle ground is where true happiness lives.
Well said
I cherish my alone time. I am the most creative when I am alone and I am the happiest when I am being creative.
This is so true to be OK by yourself, I grew up an only child I had to entertain myself a lot of the time. There is peace in enjoying the beauty around you with no distractions. Some people it’s a nightmare to not have people around all the time. For me my energy is depleted being around people for very long. I do understand there needs to be a balance.
Learning how to be content with your own company is indeed an important skill to have. I LOVE being alone in life. Happier than I have ever been when I was married or had a boyfriend.
There's more peace, more happiness, more freedom, less expensive.
"Loneliness". This is a word in my experience that many people misinterpret. Being alone doesn't mean you are lonely or suffering loneliness. I live alone, except for my German Shepherd Dog. I am never lonely even when I lived without a dog and on my own. Living alone is skill and the name of that skill is Self Purpose. Once you are aware you are solely responsible for all aspects of living on your own you are not alone or lonely IF you can manage your thoughts and be content in your own company. I lived on my own for six years in a remote farmhouse. At times, it was quite boring. However, to escape that boredom which some might call loneliness I started cooking food which I would normally only eat in a restaurant. And that was quite mentally challenging. Learning a new skill, or improving skills as I did makes loneliness dissolve in the mind. It becomes easier as you progress because ultimately you give yourself a new purpose, a reason for being and self fulfilling purpose. Apply your mind and never be "lonely" again. I don't need to meet people and be sociable. I prefer my company and that of freinds occassionally. My business customers give me a buffer to use for company. And when I leave them at their work, I come back to my sanctuary. Happy days!
I've come to love the time I spend alone. There are absolutely times when you should be sociable, just make sure to spend that time with people who you genuinely love and align with your values and direction in life; that social time will then energise you.
But on your journey to Mastery everyone must spend copious times alone and there is absolutely nothing wrong in that. Enjoy it, love it, grow, learn and be productive during that time. Take full advantage of your alone time as you will not be able to cultivate any skill without it.
I have spent long periods of my life being alone & found that loneliness brought profound creativity.
I enjoy being alone,Very addictive.
I am very simple and casual man i dont use social media i dont feel time running i live in every moment i am alone but not lone.
I am 18yrs i see around myself i found its very beautiful world apart. I live sorry for long comment
Robert, as a digital artist and creator I thrive on being alone, but I have to take breaks on a regular basis because my work is mentally taxing. So right now I am enjoying learning from you Robert, as I have many times before. I would not be as artistically gifted if i was a social butterfly, people can be negative at times and it can be draining dealing with them. So Yes, being alone is not scary or depressing to me, it is instead a way of liberating my gift. Take Care Robert, and please know that you have helped me personally many, many times.
Back when I was an active alcoholic I could dull my intense feelings of loneliness, but it always came back. But then I found it necessary to stop drinking and had to deal with my problems like normal people do. Slowly but surely I became quite comfortable with myself. I still need human companionship and I can always have it when I want it, but give me a good book and I am perfectly happy to dive into that world. I've dabbled with cannabis in sobriety but for me it's best taken alone or with my gf in bed and only very sparingly because it seems to take away more than it gives me. At my age it is devastating for my memory and I wake up the next day listless and foggy-headed. I walk up a hill to my breakfast restaurant every day and that gets the old noggin working better than caffeine (though I like a bit of that, too). If you're nervous around people, stop worrying about how you feel and instead try to make others comfortable. Then you're not thinking about yourself. OK, enough rambling. :--)
I very rarely feel lonely, I'm too busy for that and usually can't help to perceive others as a distracion... But sometimes some people's reactions to me, or realizing the lack of connection, make me feel lonely. Other people make me feel lonely.
Loneliness is actually good for health and personal time!!
Love the book "Laws of human nature" - attitude changing....
I love being alone. Sometimes I stress that I should spend more time with people.
As I get older the more I realize the advice I was given by a elderly friend. The more you grow older, the more power you have to choose who you associate with. No longer missing the days in my youth when I was going to parties with annoying people most of whom I didn't know.
I'm always alone, felt different to other people especially my peers. But even tho i feel it everytime i still like it, because i prefer to have my own company rather being with fake people. Thank you Mr. Greene! We loners
/ lonely people felt heard by you.❤
Thanks for adding so much value.
after listening to Robert and Andrew talk about three months ago. I felt better. Robert helped me put the gun down.
I am going to survive this
Being alone to me means am not listening to others problems.But sometimes I do feel lonely but I deal with it all you can do really....
Thank you Robert Greene.
I have to have a dose of Mr. Robert Green at least once a day. He adds to the reshaping of my reality❤
I like to be alone .. it means not going out.. reading, watch my favourite dramas.. its enjoyment
But I read local news , world news so that I can share when I m in other company
Some of us are lone wolfs by nature (my late fiancé and I happen to both be and it made for the best relationship of my life) and some of us have to learn how to develop the capacity for solitude. My neighbor, same age as me, is constantly looking for ways to not ever be alone after a divorce. I’m watching his pursuits lead him into more stress and heartache and drama from my porch - he asks me for advice but I finally figured out he feels sorry for me,😅 so he’s not taking it, he’s just using our talks for distraction.
He asked me “aren’t you scared you’ll always be alone??!”.
Sure. Sometimes. But I pick up a book, teach myself something new, go for a hike.
I’m having a much easier life than my neighbor - all he’d have to do is be fine on his own and those women wouldn’t run away.
"Meglio soli che male accompagnati" - grande Robert :) thanks for sharing!
Thank you Robert Greene! You made me realize I'm amazing and people don't have to get it. Thank you!
I like my alone time, I have hobbies that others consider boring, I like to read, I like to paint, I like the quiet.
I prefer spending my time with my family the most.
Being lonely for me isn't a problem and sometimes I feel peaceful just by myself. I'm a big fan of Robert Greene btw. ❤
Same here.
This is so consoling for hermits like myself. Thank you Robert Greene.
Nietzsche did say: "I hate he who steals my solitude without, in exchange, offering me true company." It goes beautifully well with "Meglio solo che male accompagnato"
My Italian American grandma used to say Better to be alone eating bread and onions, then in bad company! She was so right!
Supremely put.
This helps a lot, thank you Robert