My mother was a covert narc. She did this stuff and more. I did not discover she was a narc until after I was 50, however I disliked her some how since age 3. Now I know why. She grew progressively more nasty as she grew older. She disinherited me when I set boundaries and she became even more nasty. I cut her off and she mobilized the entire extended family against me as her flying monkeys. I moved 1000 miles away and had no contact with any of them. Finally peace. She died over a year before I discovered it. All I felt was relief.
Wow me too. I did not like my mom that much and I would say what’s wrong with me that I don’t have passionate clove that others speak about their moms. I mean she took care of us…we had great Christmas’s, Easter but something’s was off…etc etc etc
My mom is 88 undiagnosed dementia I came home to be with her. Ugh. She’s becoming more and more impossible…I will probably have to move or something I can’t keep this up it’s getting worse. She thinks she’s running things a big bully. I’m beginning to talk more nasty towards her because she constantly is bitching. I’m not able to take of nothing. I can go on and on…and lie likes it no tomorrow cursing at me…
My mother would beat me everyday the minute I came home from school. Sometimes she would use wooden spoons, coat hangers and even a dog chain. What crime did I commit? None she just felt like beating me. One day I fought back and she never beat me again.
My mother literally bought gifts for me that she wanted, so I’d leave them at her house and she would just keep them for herself. Happy birthday to her lmao 😂😂😂😂
Can relate! When my mother took us school shopping, i was never allowed to buy my own clothes (control technique so she could decide what was purchased). It didn't matter that i hated what she picked out for me, SHE was the one buying it. I learned to just say i liked them and keep them in hanging up in the back of the closet. On the chance i DID like something and she liked it too, those things would mysteriously end up in her closet time and time again. The year my first nephew was born she dropped me as a source to focus on playing 'loving grandma' and i was finally able to buy my own clothes. I bought a cute top and skirt set and when i wore it i got compliments. Guess what skirt always seemed to never get washed, and who never allowed her kids to do their own laundry?!? What a pathetic control freak, and she's still the same.
Yep, this was my experience. I never knew what treatment I was going to get, but I knew I was going to have to eat dirt at some point. She would bring it up like it was the most special thing she ever did for me and tell me why I should take crap because of it.
She HATED spending $$ on us for school clothes or anything, but her need to look good to others forced her to cough up some dough anyway. We only visited a dentist when we had a mouthful of cavities every 3-5 years.
Omg Danish.. This is Bang on . Growing up you get an impression that mom's are like this but NO, realization occurs when an adult is married and sees the other 'Normal' parents from your spouse's side. We need more awareness on this topic. Also how to deal with them when narsisitist mother is getting old and you have kids as well. Manipulation and Silent treatment takes another level.
We chose Narcissist partner because its "familiar" to us, most of us had a Narcissistic parent, thats why, and we are fractured, we have Childhood Wounds and Childhood Traumas that we never healed, we then look to the Narcissist to heal us, but they never will, not able to, it requires Reparenting your Inner Child, Healing Father or Mother Wounds,i.e Which ever Parent was the Narcissist, Healing Trauma, UA-cam Jerry Sargent "Dragon light transmission" for Healing trauma, very powerful and effective. Take care, sending you Love and Light. ✨💜✨
Exactly . It never ended . I'm 43 now. A single woman no children no family. Alone. I have a cult like church. The body of chrait is my family Now. It is family. My parents are still young 66 . So it is strange to me and I finally made peace with it. I accept it and pray for them God heal them ❤. I still am young enough to have husband and maybe child. 🙏 ❤ God willing. I pray you all heal 🙏 go with God and church people . Being with normal people is uncomfortable but I think we will get used to healthy drama free life eventually
My mam is a covert narc she will do little things and bring them up as ammo, “how dare you I have done XYZ for you” it has stunted my growth as an adult (28) and breaks my heart how much she has caused me emotional trauma. I struggle to connect with relationships and I feel fear with normal conversations with my mam. Any little thing will be an argument that she will blow out of proportion because she’s not a priority. I was driven to this video today as she has came away on holiday with me as I try so many times thinking things will get better. She is now over nothing annoyed at me all night and is refusing to go on the trip tomorrow as I said she would go of course to “prove me wrong” I have had such a hard time with this. I have got to a point where I have no idea what to do. :( sorry for rant. I can go on for hours this is just today
Try not to Defend. Engage . Explain. Personalise. DEEP. There is nothing you can do for her now, so if possible escape and start healing. Take care of yourself 1st and make the most of the rest of your life
Exactly what happened to me. This is a serious matter because I felt like I do not exist at all bc nothing feels real to me. Maybe it was my own intuition crying for help bc my mind will believe it but my body is telling me otherwise. Something deep within me knew something was wrong
just wish to share.... my narc mom Even today, she cook for me but inform all relatives..... but none of them know, she won't accept my cooking or allow me in kitchen. She won't guide me in cooking. I had to learn myself.
Same here. I always knew something was wrong. She couldnt compete with me on my studies. It was easy for her to feel superior by taking me away from kitchen and always brag about her cooking skills to people.
I ended relationship with mom but I honestly feel so sorry for her now ther she is 53 and I know deep down she is a child. I wish I could hug her but the stuff he has gotten away with is terrifying.
@@trailladymtb7700 I'm so sorry. I'm sending love and healing your way. I hope you journal this and let it go or try to. The guilt is not your burden to carry anymore.
Any criticism from me towards my mother and she will throw everything she did for me ever and how dare I?? She will even use emotional support she gave during my divorce because this is the only thing she did “for me” in years. Or that she was supportive when my dog died. Isn’t this just a normal thing a parent or even a friend does? Am I supposed to be forever grateful for self serving “support” she gives me? I know the only reason she is actually being somewhat supportive is that I’m doing well and she is close to her retirement and didn’t prepare for it.
This is my mom and I actually think that covert narcissists are worse than the grandiose, because it's VERY HARD TO PERCEIVE IT AND IT'S FUCKING DAMAGING!!! What you said in the video is EXACTLY how I feel, FEELING DIVIDED, NOT KNOWING IF THEY ARE GOOD OR NOT, IF THY LOVE US OR NOT. I ended up dating a covert narcissist for three year and he would "treat me really good" till I had wishes of myself life going out with friends and seeing mt family, he would HATE IT and try to control every step of mine.
My grandmother does this. She asks for the most expensive or intense things, and then freaks out that because she cooked you a meal or did laundry (which you only accepted because throws a fit if she can’t).
Spot on. And it sucks because i know she loves me but the shit she says to me hurts me so bad, and any time i try to tell her how what shes doing makes me feel, it doesnt matter because i did something, even if that something was nothing, or she knows shes wrong and she tells me if i dont want to live by her "rules" that i can back to my dads because she knows i dont want to but atp im honestly considering it. Idk what to do. Im stuck vetween a rock and a hard place and it exhausts me to my core.
My parent and aunt might have bpd or npd...I was raised in a very very traumatic enviroment as child by them...I also feel that their parent might also have an abusive personality disorder...It becomes clear to me that trauma is passed on through the generations. My father who is supposed to be my protector didn't protect from two evil people who raised me up .
Yeah the lady who gave me the bare. I never even had cloths other than two pants and two shirts in high school. And yet my sister a new wardrobe every summer. But my split was like this. I watched them love on her and I felt the love and it was like watching a nice movie watching parents and their child. Never participated in any of that. I didn’t even see it. I split so bad. And then I kept splitting and kept splitting and kept splitting. Then I split myself in half completely. What a journey to get back to my Self. I had no clue this girl existed underneath all the garbage she was subjected to. And she was beautifully well preserved in her goodness. Man I love myself so much. I’m totally my own hero. No one loves me more than I do no one saved me with this much love other than me. The highest and the lowest mes we’re working together to get me to wake up and see. See what they did to me. I have never ever seen so much incomprehensible evil. I was a baby and they withheld and beat me. And that never stopped. But somehow I manage to have a life even three beautiful kids who never had a present mom. But it’s not too late I got my babies just in time to meet their real mom.
I’m 34 and just now realizing my mother is covert narcissist. The part about feeling split between two states really resonates with me… on one hand I love her and am so grateful for everything and on the other hand I have a lot of hate towards her (which I am always working to let go) 🙏🏼
I'm 34 in in the exact same boat. She insists on paying for things and giving me money when I ask her not to, while she herself lives in a gross house that needs tons of remodeling, which she's been neglecting because she chooses to fully financially support my 43 year old sister and her 16 year old son who live in another state. The next conversation I have with her is going to be about how I'm going to start sending her money back, and if she doesn't clean her house up and start working on emotional maturity then I'm done talking to her.
This really fucked up my perception of giving gifts. Since a really young age, all Christmas/birthday presents were used as leverage as some stage. She would take them away and make me do unnecessary chores and tasks to get them back, and the list would go on and on. This happened when I bought my first car, my first cellphone, everything. I hate getting gifts from people, I instantly feel trapped and obligated to repay the favour tenfold. Yet I will give my last slice of bread to a millionaire and not expect anything in return. Really messed with my whole perception of “giving”
my mother acted like she gave up her entire life because she got accidentally pregnant with me and she didn’t want kids but my dad wanted to keep me and now that he’s dead and gone, nothing is in the way of her trying to ruin my life but I haven’t spoken to her in almost a year and it feels amazing.
I’m happy to have found this. My mom is this to a T and if she would buy me clothes she’d say “I’m gonna have to go back to work to afford doing this” they’re (mom and stepdad) very very well off and would say it to make me feel bad. Lovely.
She would do things for me and was happy to be with me as long as it was convenient to her I was always her retirement plan but she would always ignore my physical and emotional pain my father was worse so I had nowhere else to go
I am 16teen and now i know earlier than my mom is narcissistic...shoud i be happy that i found it and now i can keep boundaries and not expect anything from her...or should i be sad that my mom who i loved the most in the whole world is just a narcissist who never loved me a bit 😢 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭.....i wish i had a loving mom. .....😢😢😢
my Narc Mom occasionally cooked food starved me all my school and college days, didn't let me wear warm clothes in winter, gaslighting humiliation defamation,I repent surviving all the abuse, I would have been better dead .at 70 all alone suffering from Autoimmune, no cure
My mother in law ...she always said to my husband you know how much I did for you and your sister ...😂😂😂😂😂😂 She gave them a good education ... which every parent does by the way . And she raised Narcissists.. my somatic Narcissists husband .
My parent and aunt might have bpd or npd...I was raised in a very very traumatic enviroment as child by them...I also feel that their parent might also have an abusive personality disorder...It becomes clear to me that trauma is passed on through the generations. My father who is supposed to be my protector didn't protect from two evil people who raised me up .
Thank you so much this helps a lot. I just don't know how to separate from my mother when I have a younger brother to protect. I'm so terrified of what would happen to him. I want to leave and finally build up my life but I have a duty to uphold. I can't leave him to suffer the same fate I did or worse.
My parent and aunt might have bpd or npd...I was raised in a very very traumatic enviroment as child by them...I also feel that their parent might also have an abusive personality disorder...It becomes clear to me that trauma is passed on through the generations. My father who is supposed to be my protector didn't protect from two evil people who raised me up .
@@lilac624 heyy. I hope you're doing well now. I hope you know that regardless of what others say, all your emotions are truly valid simply because you felt them at an age where you were too young to understand yourself or others. But don't let this be something that holds you back, make this a tool that pushes you to love yourself more and give yourself all the love you were denied as a child. 🤗💛 there are so many resources out there like affirmations, tapping, journaling using prompts, maybe in a day you won't see kuch changes but if you do it consistently I promise you'll feel sm lighter☺️ and don't forget to let yourself feel your suppressed emotions. Let them go out of your body, and welcome new positive emotions in🤗
My love bombing was shit talking my Dad. We were best friends, Mother and child talking about my Dad. I was her mini marriage counseling service. Turns out my Dad is a big old Teddy Bear vs. her. He struggled with his addiction and a lot of it was HER. He's certainly isn't perfect but now I know he was struggling with depression and my Mom. He's helped me more than she ever would and I feel nothing but shame for thinking horrible things about him. He'd give the shirt off his back to a complete stranger while she'd steal it if it was name brand.
Mine didn’t. I had one pair of shoes that were two sizes too small and split plastic and my only coat was my cheap school blazer that my mother got vouchers for from the government to get my school uniform. I used to get clothes donated to me from my friends mother’s cause they could see my shoes were falling apart. She didn’t buy me any underwear or sanitary products, so I had no bras and had to use toilet roll every month. I confronted her with this when I was in my mid fifties and she said; “So what!? My mother didn’t buy me any of that stuff so why should I buy it for you?”. If I’d had a daughter I would have bought her all she needed and more, without making any big thing about it. But I had two boys. They both wanted for nothing though!
Only time my mom said she loved me was when my brother killed himself. I realized later she never loved me just the millions she stole from me after killing my dad.
I had fever. When I try to tell my mom about it, she starts complaining about how sick she feels. And I said all my clothes are wet because of fever. She aswers: "I dont need to hear that! because I have that also".. And then starts talking about her jaw hurting and feeling sick. After that, I later in the evening told her my fever was about 38.7 degree celsius. She said thats very high, and that I need to drink enough. She then said she had 38.7 degree fever.. and said she wil take a migraine pill and go to sleep.
Hey I just found out I'm narcissistic and I have to say allot of the shit I do is not intentional do I have moments yes but I realized like most what I'm doing isn't intentional and i do have people i generally care about Also I feel for people I just can't feel like empathy in a moment I may say do things way later that I realize then I flip it because I don't want known yeah uh 😅 but I do genuinely care about some people
Actually yes..she is covert narcissit bro ..she cant eat or cook both.always pick fights..n creates toxic situation.treats like enemy if u say one word againt her..acting infront of people as i m torchering n hitting her.how can i beat her. instead i wanted to takecare n to keep with me trying to convince.always avoid to share, everytime maintain screats for family calls too. , among siblings creates conflicts n avoid to meet , call , talk, care , love, just listen even while we try to say our situation.
The problem is that in many cultures and many countries women have no choice of their own. They cannot choose if they even want to be mothers! That makes a HUGE difference to the mothering they give
The type of mother who takes you to hospital when you’re hurt and acts like a saviour as if it was a difficult thing for them to do.
takes you to the hospital while they did the damage to you and acting like the victim in front of the nurses.
@@talkingnarcissimso true
The type of parent thats stresses you out to the point of you ending up in a hospital, then plays the role of a "Savior"
Haha this was exactly my mother. The big kicker is that we live in a country with free healthcare! LOL
@@Quartercheeseburger same I’m in the UK. My mother made it clear that a trip to the hospital was too inconvenient.
My mother was a covert narc. She did this stuff and more. I did not discover she was a narc until after I was 50, however I disliked her some how since age 3. Now I know why. She grew progressively more nasty as she grew older. She disinherited me when I set boundaries and she became even more nasty. I cut her off and she mobilized the entire extended family against me as her flying monkeys. I moved 1000 miles away and had no contact with any of them. Finally peace. She died over a year before I discovered it. All I felt was relief.
Same here finally opened my eyes at 41 healing now at 43 ...much in peace.childhood messed up so healing will tk time
I hope to feel this kind of relief
Wow me too. I did not like my mom that much and I would say what’s wrong with me that I don’t have passionate clove that others speak about their moms. I mean she took care of us…we had great Christmas’s, Easter but something’s was off…etc etc etc
My mom is 88 undiagnosed dementia I came home to be with her. Ugh. She’s becoming more and more impossible…I will probably have to move or something I can’t keep this up it’s getting worse. She thinks she’s running things a big bully. I’m beginning to talk more nasty towards her because she constantly is bitching. I’m not able to take of nothing. I can go on and on…and lie likes it no tomorrow cursing at me…
Wow ,Sound my life.
My mother would beat me everyday the minute I came home from school. Sometimes she would use wooden spoons, coat hangers and even a dog chain. What crime did I commit? None she just felt like beating me. One day I fought back and she never beat me again.
I am so sorry to hear that. You are valuable and worthy to be loved.
Same here. I was 7 years old. Good for you!
Wow thats strength you fought back..I had no courage at all
😢😭😭😭😭😭
😂🎉
Half the problems actually get solved when you can see through all of that facade no matter the narcissist is loving or rageful..
True
Please make more videos about covert narcissist mother
My mother literally bought gifts for me that she wanted, so I’d leave them at her house and she would just keep them for herself. Happy birthday to her lmao 😂😂😂😂
Well, she brought you into the world, so of COURSE it's really her day. 🙄
It’s like regular shopping but with extra steps... Narcs are not as smart as they want others to believe. 😂
@@cc1k435nothing heroic about procreation.
Can relate! When my mother took us school shopping, i was never allowed to buy my own clothes (control technique so she could decide what was purchased). It didn't matter that i hated what she picked out for me, SHE was the one buying it. I learned to just say i liked them and keep them in hanging up in the back of the closet. On the chance i DID like something and she liked it too, those things would mysteriously end up in her closet time and time again. The year my first nephew was born she dropped me as a source to focus on playing 'loving grandma' and i was finally able to buy my own clothes. I bought a cute top and skirt set and when i wore it i got compliments. Guess what skirt always seemed to never get washed, and who never allowed her kids to do their own laundry?!? What a pathetic control freak, and she's still the same.
Wow this is my mother. She two different people. I give complete blank expressions to let her know I do not have time for that silly sh*t.
Yes they do something for you and then they go tell everyone and then tell people how broke you were even though you had the money.
Love my mum but need peace.
Tell me about it…daily torture
That part
Yep, this was my experience. I never knew what treatment I was going to get, but I knew I was going to have to eat dirt at some point. She would bring it up like it was the most special thing she ever did for me and tell me why I should take crap because of it.
WHY IS THIS SO ACCURATE???
My mom seems to be across the narc spectrum. She has exhibited all the narc behaviors.
@MonkMode33 they're always the victim. It's maddening!!
She HATED spending $$ on us for school clothes or anything, but her need to look good to others forced her to cough up some dough anyway.
We only visited a dentist
when we had a mouthful of cavities every 3-5 years.
real
@MonkMode33 that is sick aww I'm sorry
@MonkMode33any update did you get away ?
Omg Danish.. This is Bang on . Growing up you get an impression that mom's are like this but NO, realization occurs when an adult is married and sees the other 'Normal' parents from your spouse's side.
We need more awareness on this topic. Also how to deal with them when narsisitist mother is getting old and you have kids as well. Manipulation and Silent treatment takes another level.
Same here I couldn't see the difference until I got married 😔 I have missed so much love and care
When I saw my boyfriend's parents. It was a different reality.
This is my mom… and my spouse! I chose what I know… confusion.
We chose Narcissist partner because its "familiar" to us, most of us had a Narcissistic parent, thats why, and we are fractured, we have Childhood Wounds and Childhood Traumas that we never healed, we then look to the Narcissist to heal us, but they never will, not able to, it requires Reparenting your Inner Child, Healing Father or Mother Wounds,i.e Which ever Parent was the Narcissist, Healing Trauma, UA-cam Jerry Sargent "Dragon light transmission" for Healing trauma, very powerful and effective. Take care, sending you Love and Light. ✨💜✨
Exactly . It never ended . I'm 43 now. A single woman no children no family. Alone. I have a cult like church. The body of chrait is my family Now. It is family.
My parents are still young 66 . So it is strange to me and I finally made peace with it. I accept it and pray for them God heal them ❤. I still am young enough to have husband and maybe child. 🙏 ❤ God willing. I pray you all heal 🙏 go with God and church people . Being with normal people is uncomfortable but I think we will get used to healthy drama free life eventually
My mam is a covert narc she will do little things and bring them up as ammo, “how dare you I have done XYZ for you” it has stunted my growth as an adult (28) and breaks my heart how much she has caused me emotional trauma. I struggle to connect with relationships and I feel fear with normal conversations with my mam. Any little thing will be an argument that she will blow out of proportion because she’s not a priority. I was driven to this video today as she has came away on holiday with me as I try so many times thinking things will get better. She is now over nothing annoyed at me all night and is refusing to go on the trip tomorrow as I said she would go of course to “prove me wrong” I have had such a hard time with this. I have got to a point where I have no idea what to do. :( sorry for rant. I can go on for hours this is just today
Try not to Defend. Engage . Explain. Personalise. DEEP. There is nothing you can do for her now, so if possible escape and start healing. Take care of yourself 1st and make the most of the rest of your life
Thanks!it took 58 years to realize my Catholic MOTHER found Harmony thru her ability to inflict harm on to just me.
Exactly what happened to me. This is a serious matter because I felt like I do not exist at all bc nothing feels real to me. Maybe it was my own intuition crying for help bc my mind will believe it but my body is telling me otherwise. Something deep within me knew something was wrong
💯 my mother
just wish to share.... my narc mom
Even today, she cook for me but inform all relatives..... but none of them know, she won't accept my cooking or allow me in kitchen. She won't guide me in cooking. I had to learn myself.
Your probably better off cooking your own food, as it would be cooked with love as opposed to your Mother's 🤔
Same here. I always knew something was wrong. She couldnt compete with me on my studies. It was easy for her to feel superior by taking me away from kitchen and always brag about her cooking skills to people.
My Mom...Me Confused never knowing the reality
Narc parents claims they’re superheroes but acting like a villain on their child’s life
True. 👍
I hope those who have narc mom don't grow like a narc parents themselves or else the cycle never ends.
We are traumatised empaths. Scapegoats become overvigilant parents.
Exactly! And they don’t even care about the things you’ve done for them! 😡
I ended relationship with mom but I honestly feel so sorry for her now ther she is 53 and I know deep down she is a child. I wish I could hug her but the stuff he has gotten away with is terrifying.
I’m here right now. Feel sad for my mom. But she is sick and soon leaving this world. Tragic. Wish it never had to be this way.
@@trailladymtb7700 I'm so sorry. I'm sending love and healing your way. I hope you journal this and let it go or try to. The guilt is not your burden to carry anymore.
I wish i had money so you could be my therapist. Youre spot on! Everytime!
Same here.
😢
I wish and hope you are doing well after being through all that crap.
💯 making you feel guilty for the favor!
This is my covert NM. Exactly this! 👎
Any criticism from me towards my mother and she will throw everything she did for me ever and how dare I?? She will even use emotional support she gave during my divorce because this is the only thing she did “for me” in years. Or that she was supportive when my dog died. Isn’t this just a normal thing a parent or even a friend does? Am I supposed to be forever grateful for self serving “support” she gives me? I know the only reason she is actually being somewhat supportive is that I’m doing well and she is close to her retirement and didn’t prepare for it.
This is my mom and I actually think that covert narcissists are worse than the grandiose, because it's VERY HARD TO PERCEIVE IT AND IT'S FUCKING DAMAGING!!! What you said in the video is EXACTLY how I feel, FEELING DIVIDED, NOT KNOWING IF THEY ARE GOOD OR NOT, IF THY LOVE US OR NOT. I ended up dating a covert narcissist for three year and he would "treat me really good" till I had wishes of myself life going out with friends and seeing mt family, he would HATE IT and try to control every step of mine.
Keep these coming about mothers please!
My dying mother has turned and has the family hating me. Triangulation, flying monkeys. Etc. without my faith I would have been in a dark pit. Tragic
So cruel that she would tell you your only child really considers her their real mother...
Yeah, it's weird. She did that to me, too.
My grandmother does this. She asks for the most expensive or intense things, and then freaks out that because she cooked you a meal or did laundry (which you only accepted because throws a fit if she can’t).
Spot on. And it sucks because i know she loves me but the shit she says to me hurts me so bad, and any time i try to tell her how what shes doing makes me feel, it doesnt matter because i did something, even if that something was nothing, or she knows shes wrong and she tells me if i dont want to live by her "rules" that i can back to my dads because she knows i dont want to but atp im honestly considering it. Idk what to do. Im stuck vetween a rock and a hard place and it exhausts me to my core.
Where would you say the line is after the children have grown?
What do you mean
@@alanaglaser7695 exactly, who dictates where the line is?
This is too true !!!!
Couldn’t have got any better explaination..!! My mil is same nd passed it on to my husband whom I’m separating from now..
I wish I knew this 25 years ago.
The most accurate and relatable information on narcissist abuse. 🥂💯☝🏾
My parent and aunt might have bpd or npd...I was raised in a very very traumatic enviroment as child by them...I also feel that their parent might also have an abusive personality disorder...It becomes clear to me that trauma is passed on through the generations.
My father who is supposed to be my protector didn't protect from two evil people who raised me up .
My mom does this all the time. I dislike her, but no one else has a problem with her. For the longest time I thought I was the problem
Because she only shows her TRUE self
THANK YOU FOR SPEAKING ABOUT THIS!
"After all I've done for you...."
My mother.
story of my life. pray for me yall
Yeah the lady who gave me the bare. I never even had cloths other than two pants and two shirts in high school. And yet my sister a new wardrobe every summer. But my split was like this. I watched them love on her and I felt the love and it was like watching a nice movie watching parents and their child. Never participated in any of that. I didn’t even see it. I split so bad. And then I kept splitting and kept splitting and kept splitting. Then I split myself in half completely. What a journey to get back to my Self. I had no clue this girl existed underneath all the garbage she was subjected to. And she was beautifully well preserved in her goodness. Man I love myself so much. I’m totally my own hero. No one loves me more than I do no one saved me with this much love other than me. The highest and the lowest mes we’re working together to get me to wake up and see. See what they did to me. I have never ever seen so much incomprehensible evil. I was a baby and they withheld and beat me. And that never stopped. But somehow I manage to have a life even three beautiful kids who never had a present mom. But it’s not too late I got my babies just in time to meet their real mom.
I’m 34 and just now realizing my mother is covert narcissist. The part about feeling split between two states really resonates with me… on one hand I love her and am so grateful for everything and on the other hand I have a lot of hate towards her (which I am always working to let go) 🙏🏼
Go no contact
I'm 34 in in the exact same boat. She insists on paying for things and giving me money when I ask her not to, while she herself lives in a gross house that needs tons of remodeling, which she's been neglecting because she chooses to fully financially support my 43 year old sister and her 16 year old son who live in another state. The next conversation I have with her is going to be about how I'm going to start sending her money back, and if she doesn't clean her house up and start working on emotional maturity then I'm done talking to her.
Your hitting the nail on the head
I dont even have words for mine except pain
Tell me about it…topped with undiagnosed dementia. She refuses to go to the doctor because she knows it’s a wrap…I’m in pure daily torture
This really fucked up my perception of giving gifts. Since a really young age, all Christmas/birthday presents were used as leverage as some stage. She would take them away and make me do unnecessary chores and tasks to get them back, and the list would go on and on. This happened when I bought my first car, my first cellphone, everything. I hate getting gifts from people, I instantly feel trapped and obligated to repay the favour tenfold. Yet I will give my last slice of bread to a millionaire and not expect anything in return. Really messed with my whole perception of “giving”
my mother acted like she gave up her entire life because she got accidentally pregnant with me and she didn’t want kids but my dad wanted to keep me and now that he’s dead and gone, nothing is in the way of her trying to ruin my life but I haven’t spoken to her in almost a year and it feels amazing.
Soooo well explained 👏👏👏
Yes. Yes. Yes.
Ouch
I’m happy to have found this. My mom is this to a T and if she would buy me clothes she’d say “I’m gonna have to go back to work to afford doing this” they’re (mom and stepdad) very very well off and would say it to make me feel bad. Lovely.
She would do things for me and was happy to be with me as long as it was convenient to her I was always her retirement plan but she would always ignore my physical and emotional pain my father was worse so I had nowhere else to go
My grandma is a covert NARC and so was my mom til she found GOD. My grandma is a religious covert narc. imagine my pain
I am 16teen and now i know earlier than my mom is narcissistic...shoud i be happy that i found it and now i can keep boundaries and not expect anything from her...or should i be sad that my mom who i loved the most in the whole world is just a narcissist who never loved me a bit 😢 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭.....i wish i had a loving mom. .....😢😢😢
my Narc Mom occasionally cooked food starved me all my school and college days, didn't let me wear warm clothes in winter, gaslighting humiliation defamation,I repent surviving all the abuse, I would have been better dead .at 70 all alone suffering from Autoimmune, no cure
My mother in law ...she always said to my husband you know how much I did for you and your sister ...😂😂😂😂😂😂
She gave them a good education ... which every parent does by the way . And she raised Narcissists.. my somatic Narcissists husband .
Man must’ve been in my house this morning😂😂😂 such a sick feeling
Mine is text book grandiose. Even she did it ALL MY LIFE and still does as means to manipulate and instill shame.
I can feel whatever you said
Going thru this right now she’s so clever so nice to my partner makes me sick
My parent and aunt might have bpd or npd...I was raised in a very very traumatic enviroment as child by them...I also feel that their parent might also have an abusive personality disorder...It becomes clear to me that trauma is passed on through the generations.
My father who is supposed to be my protector didn't protect from two evil people who raised me up .
Thank you so much this helps a lot. I just don't know how to separate from my mother when I have a younger brother to protect. I'm so terrified of what would happen to him. I want to leave and finally build up my life but I have a duty to uphold. I can't leave him to suffer the same fate I did or worse.
My mother is the same🥰😂 haha
My parent and aunt might have bpd or npd...I was raised in a very very traumatic enviroment as child by them...I also feel that their parent might also have an abusive personality disorder...It becomes clear to me that trauma is passed on through the generations.
My father who is supposed to be my protector didn't protect from two evil people who raised me up .
@@lilac624 heyy. I hope you're doing well now. I hope you know that regardless of what others say, all your emotions are truly valid simply because you felt them at an age where you were too young to understand yourself or others. But don't let this be something that holds you back, make this a tool that pushes you to love yourself more and give yourself all the love you were denied as a child. 🤗💛 there are so many resources out there like affirmations, tapping, journaling using prompts, maybe in a day you won't see kuch changes but if you do it consistently I promise you'll feel sm lighter☺️ and don't forget to let yourself feel your suppressed emotions. Let them go out of your body, and welcome new positive emotions in🤗
My mom clean the kitchen one day last year and I mean one day out of the year and it turned into such a big fight. I had to leave for five days.
My love bombing was shit talking my Dad. We were best friends, Mother and child talking about my Dad. I was her mini marriage counseling service.
Turns out my Dad is a big old Teddy Bear vs. her.
He struggled with his addiction and a lot of it was HER.
He's certainly isn't perfect but now I know he was struggling with depression and my Mom.
He's helped me more than she ever would and I feel nothing but shame for thinking horrible things about him.
He'd give the shirt off his back to a complete stranger while she'd steal it if it was name brand.
I feel like I wanna cry
Best explanation
My father is overt and my mother is covert narcissist. 😂
Mine didn’t. I had one pair of shoes that were two sizes too small and split plastic and my only coat was my cheap school blazer that my mother got vouchers for from the government to get my school uniform.
I used to get clothes donated to me from my friends mother’s cause they could see my shoes were falling apart.
She didn’t buy me any underwear or sanitary products, so I had no bras and had to use toilet roll every month.
I confronted her with this when I was in my mid fifties and she said;
“So what!? My mother didn’t buy me any of that stuff so why should I buy it for you?”.
If I’d had a daughter I would have bought her all she needed and more, without making any big thing about it.
But I had two boys. They both wanted for nothing though!
Sorry that happened to you. Awful.
This is my husband's mother.
I need coaching as a daughter of narc mom
Exactly
Only time my mom said she loved me was when my brother killed himself. I realized later she never loved me just the millions she stole from me after killing my dad.
She always creates problems
Yup
She would go over bills with me as a child & make a huge deal about money
I had fever. When I try to tell my mom about it, she starts complaining about how sick she feels. And I said all my clothes are wet because of fever. She aswers: "I dont need to hear that! because I have that also".. And then starts talking about her jaw hurting and feeling sick. After that, I later in the evening told her my fever was about 38.7 degree celsius. She said thats very high, and that I need to drink enough. She then said she had 38.7 degree fever.. and said she wil take a migraine pill and go to sleep.
That is so sad. Some of the things we have to remember still bring that heartache.
Hey I just found out I'm narcissistic and I have to say allot of the shit I do is not intentional do I have moments yes but I realized like most what I'm doing isn't intentional and i do have people i generally care about Also I feel for people I just can't feel like empathy in a moment I may say do things way later that I realize then I flip it because I don't want known yeah uh 😅 but I do genuinely care about some people
I know the reality now and it has always been mine. She be trying pull them tricks to get me focused on things that don’t even matter. 😐😐😐😐😐😐
Very Very true 🙏❤️
The reality is that she is a sadistic o
❤ THANK YOOOOOOOOOU ❤ THiS WAS SOOOO HELPFULL ❤🧡💛💚💙💜 #CorkyCarla 💋🍃🐞☁️
So true 100%
My Mother: "I want a parade from you for what I did for you!"
My Father: "I want a parade from my siblings for what I did for you!"
desi moms be like
So true
Jupp
"That a parent is supposed to do". The entitlement of your generation is suffocating.
Actually yes..she is covert narcissit bro ..she cant eat or cook both.always pick fights..n creates toxic situation.treats like enemy if u say one word againt her..acting infront of people as i m torchering n hitting her.how can i beat her. instead i wanted to takecare n to keep with me trying to convince.always avoid to share, everytime maintain screats for family calls too. , among siblings creates conflicts n avoid to meet , call , talk, care , love, just listen even while we try to say our situation.
Its my mom 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
We need more videos about narcissists mother hindi (Indian language) please
The problem is that in many cultures and many countries women have no choice of their own. They cannot choose if they even want to be mothers! That makes a HUGE difference to the mothering they give
Hi Bashir.Can you make more videos about c.nsrc.mothers?Thank you.🙂
Yep