I’ve been divorced and separated from her for over 2 years now and I’m still broken. I’ve actually become very depressed from it. I never saw it coming. I gave everything I had to her. I was discarded and replaced like I was Nothing. The healing process is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to go through.
You have to understand that her leaving is the best thing that could have ever happened to you. I promise one day you will realize this. You are free! You will find a normal human being who is worthy of you, I promise!
22 years for me and still broken. Never got over it because it was SO utterly unexpected - was discarded literally overnight. He destroyed my belief in relationships, trust in men (totally) and faith in love itself. One can only pray someone does it to him one day but then he probably wouldn’t care, would he?
This isn’t promising lol. I got discarded out the blue 4 months ago from a 12 year marriage. She was so cold. Nothing I done was good enough. Everything was my fault etc… I’m struggling with depression. Anger. Self worth and the main one TRUST
@@stephw3475 Be strong we’re going to come out of the fog and be stronger and happier than ever..yes there’s lots of comfort knowing we’re not alone in this confusing mess.
Chris I so want you to know that it is possible to get out of the agony and heal. Have you heard about my NARP Program www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp ? It is exactay how myself and so many others got our hearts, souls and life back xoxox
That's exactly what I thought during the horrible, cruel discard ! How could he be so cruel ? What did I even do to deserve such brutality ! That was the time when I realised that yes, that person was not a normal human, only a narcissist is capable of such vile attacks !
This is exactly what I am going thru right now. 33 years 3 kids and no marriage. He never wanted to get married. Thru the years I couldn't go back to school to get a job was a real battle. Now he has two house money and he is willing to throw me out with nothing but my clothes. I am living in anxiety and hell.😢😢
Melanie your words are spot on. Ending the enmeshment with a narcissist allows us to connect with ourselves. “Life begins on the other side of despair.” Jean-Paul Sartre.
Narcissist cannot be relied on in time of need. When the chips are down narcs love to do the discard. A female narc discard me viciously, it felt like getting punched in the stomach full force. 😂
I stuck with him and wasted precious years of my life even through times I wanted and tried so hard to get out of, yet he would always Hoover me back but now he's the one that goes completely quiet and had other supply. When he's had enough I have no choice to go with it. I will NEVER allow myself to be hoovered again!
It hurts because I really thought he would have empathy for me but he really, truly, doesn't. It's mind boggling and gut wrenching. But I guess it's really part of the disorder. How absolutely sickening their inner world must be. We'll be okay survivors, just keep surrounding yourself with positive and supportive people in your life. God is still good and a healer of all hurt 🙏🏾💗
So glad to be out of this after 23 years...o asked him to leave 3 months ago, he did and he’s been so cruel. Like I didn’t even know him - who was this man I married? He’s always the victim and I have it made. As I try every day to pick myself up off the floor and get my life back.
"when you do good, you do good for yourself, when you do evil you do evil against (detrimental to) yourself." part of a Quranic verse. I still don't understand how they can make themselves out to be the wonderful person because it's fake and it must feel awful inside. The truth will prevail if not years later, then in the next life. Melanie's description section is 💯 true it happened to me. I'm glad to know that I wasn't such a bad person nor crazy person after all. Lol
I was discarded IN the relationship. (More times than I want to admit) Ignored for days after a rageful outbreak from him. Ignored during the week, but then he would be angry if I went and had fun with others (my mom, my kids, my girlfriends) so strange. I am the one that finally broke up permanently. Most difficult thing. So glad that I did it, though. I wasted too many years in that crazy cycle of abuse.
I believe you there. Your comment is so relatable I am crying How are you doing now? I have went back numerous times and was gone for 4 months and he sucked me back in and hasn’t threw me out and made me homeless several times is now devaluing and discarding again He treats me like fucking shit Im so sick of this I sometimes feel like I can’t survive without him and I mean that 10000% literally It sucks
Didn’t realise I’d been with a narcissist until after we broke up a month ago, after ending it 4 times in a month....3 weeks into no contact and I realised what had happened throughout our relationship, well at least after the love bombing. I wrote a text asking for the engagement ring back or a conversation about our future, and whether changes could be made.I knew it would trigger her but I think on a subconscious level I knew it would happen.... her new partner and projection is what I received back. It’s heart breaking but I knew I had to break the cycle, it was yesterday so it hurts like shit. But so does only being a shell of my former self. the love for her is huge but so is the heartbreak.
I'm at the pulling away stage right now. Last time round I was discarded, but went no contact for 3 months and was doing ok until I was hoovered back. I wasn't expecting it. Yep I did the boundary setting, talking through things scenarios and it looked like things had changed but how wrong was I?! I needed that lesson though. I now couldn't care less if I see him again or not
This is exactly what happened to me. My ex narcissist psychopath gave me some warnings before the discard but I was in complete shock. He left me many times and the final discard he left me when I was sick. Never been through soo much pain in my life. After a few months of stringing me along and still torturing me I went No Contact and then the love bombing came back, and he would write me love letters..all of which I ignored. These people are evil entities and creatures from the depths of hell. Thankfully we didnt have children so I've been 14 months n.c. and healing more everyday I'm out of it. Yes it was so devastating I convinced myself I could be dying during the discard. It was like coming off of a drug because the trauma bond was so strong. He was physically abusive as well and I was truly dealing with a devil in disguise. Take it from me, going no contact was the best thing I could have done for myself.
It's just sickening whats happends with these people they are mentally ill and evil. The hoovering tactic would have to be the worst ever even after being discarded you would go insane.
This is pretty lengthy, but thought I'd have to share as everything you said in this video is what I went through and how im feeling! I grasp for air everytime. I cant function its been 3 months no hoover no nothing, its like hes changed his identity living his life with probably the same supply or new supply. Its like hes just disappeared! Dont know nothing about him or if he's even alive thats how well he's hiding just the way he hid all this from me! Im pretty sure I've been with a narcissist this whole time. He discarded me 3months ago. After 18 years together this all makes sense, he used his sly skills to keep me there until he found a new supply. All these years didnt realise it was narcissistic behaviour, just thought thats how he is and it was normal. When he broke it off, it was the most lies I've ever heard. Its me its not you, im not happy, need to be alone find myself, i do love you, but I just need my space, I dont know what I want, we kept trying but didn't work (he never tried only when he wanted) we're different, i was showing signs. My god i saw every single sign. Absolute mixed signs and I didnt know that's a form of manipulation. I asked several times did you meet someone? He said no if I cant commit to you how can I commit to someone else! Omg! Did he meet someone alright! Behind my back! Every other break up was arguing and yelling this one was too calm. He knew when to use me and discard me. I always apologised he never once did even for the smallest thing. Made me question my sanity? He has his chat with me and was done. Fast forward a few days im obviously a mess got completely blindsided! My gut was telling me no, it's that hes got someone new. My suspicions were correct! This whole time behind my back he was talking to someone and used me slowly until he was ready to have the 'chat' with me. I went over to confirm my suspicion and that POS after 18 years that I gave him my whole world and what my family gave him he just shat on it! He opened the door and he knew right then oh crap, I just got caught out, but I only knew because I saw her car in his driveway and he quickly tried to hide us from seeing each other. I asked him to be a man and step outside and give me the honest truth and all he could say is you need to leave, she clearly didn't have a clue he even had a gf this whole time because when I started screaming out hes a cheater a liar and everything under the sun the first thing he did was yell youre a psycho! Im glad i did because she wouldn't have had a clue, so if it happens to her one day, then I warned her! But I keep thinking he will change and treat her like a queen the way i shouldve been treated.A psycho because I've been hurt and betrayed and asking you the truth?! So he was making me out to be crazy and threatening to call the cops!!! The cops because he got busted with the lies and this girl didn't know anything coz he has fed her with lies! I knew there was more to it when he deleted his social media and he would never do that when I would ask him to because he was infatuated over the instagram models and then say to me no we like natural girls this is all fake, but then still be obsessed with them and that im just insecure! I am so disgusted that allowed my whole time, body and soul to this guy! I gave him my world my heart! He stomped on it all for his new supply?! He used me to better himself for the next person?! That is evil! This is a guy that lost his family and we took him under our wings living with my family gave him a whole new life and he simply shat on us all! The lies and manipulation he has caused me. He's made me feel worthless so disgusting I can't even look at myself while he's already happy out there with someone that I didnt get to see, to see why she is better than me? But I have to think, STOP, its not you. He lied his was with her like he did with you. POS! I've never felt this low in my life. My mental state, he has ruined! Belittled me and I took it all because I just thought i can help him hes depressed or I loved him?! Who does that to another person and wakes up living and breathing like you did not do anything wrong?! All these unanswered questions how did it happen? When did it happen? What does she have I dont? Who is she? Where did you meet? How did I not see anything? My mind is nuts! Im in so much pain from 1 person?! How could 1 person ruin your life and go about their day with the next person? Ao sick! Sick to think he did this for God knows how long and I was used. He mentally detached himself ages ago and I didnt see it? He manipulated me so much that I was the insecure one its all in my head! To only be with me this whole time acting up and down and she was there all along?! So sick! To call the cops? That is insane! It was all about his ego and to make me look pathetic in front of her! Goes to show no matter how long someone can be in your life can still shit on it and continue with theirs! I will definitely get a 'i didnt want to hurt you response' or protect you! Hell no! You did it to protect yourself and your new supply so she doesn't know the real you! POS i didnt see anything in his phone!! He obviously was deleting msgs. Im furious ! If only I dug more I could have ended this months ago because there is no way this had just happened the day after we broke up. He planned it. Especially due to being stuck in a pandemic and being on lockdown for 5 months not being able to see anyone he planned it. I dont know how I didnt see it! I can't get past this. Im constantly thinking how blinded I was to not see it! There were red flags (now I see them), but during the time he just kept reassuring me its in my head! I feel like such an idiot! I guess, he'll love her more than me, treat her better and change for her! Im so mad as I kept asking the last few months what are we? Im over getting treated differently everyday and he would just bypass the conversation or come up with something shitty and be like oh you this or you that and then I'd either cry and leave or I would apologise! If I threatened to leave im done I've had enough of this treatment he'd smirk and I'd leave not speak to him and he would get in touch with me in a week and be like hey, I dont wanna argue if were gonna argue ill be over it and he'll ignore me! How many times he would ignore me for a week or so while I would beg for him to just speak to me. Beg and cry to speak. Oh it was sickening. I fought and fought and im at the bottom. This is the same guy that didnt believe in God or spiritual things and all of a sudden hes so spiritual wearing all his crystals and believes in God telling me about what it all means!!! What a joke! Hardest part is coming to realisation you were a toy and was NEVER loved! Just cant believe they look at you in the eyes while they are being sneaky, to potray himself as a great guy and come here celebrating my birthday buying gifts, showing my family what a nice guy he is buying me a cake, shouting us all dinner and plotting all this behind out backs!
Everything you wrote I am going though with my ex now!!! How could I have not seen it!! Every weekend claiming to be eating out with her sisters when the whole time it was someone else never apologizing about the simplest things all the lies!! I see them now but this pain want go away it's deep in my soul!! She went from 27 years with me to another relationship just like that.. lying saying she just wants to be single and I believe she woul sleep with him and come home and sleep with me!! Smearing my name to my daughter turning my kids against me!! All while I suffer alone heartbroken
I was discarded 7 days ago after months of hell. This must be the 1000th discard over 16 years. The feeling of dying is so true. I just want this awful pain to end.
Helen my heart goes out to you. I'd love to offer you my free 3 keys workshop. It will help show you how to get relief and your soul and sanity back www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar xoxox
My narcissist ex did so much damage to me , when he discarded me I was left thinking everything was my fault, I thought I was a crazy , toxic , manipulative, controlling and annoying gf as he said I was. Something kept telling me to search what the word narcissist is then once I did everything made sense 😭 I realized I got sooo manipulated I’m still trying to heal from this
It's so hard. I'm still so In love. I was complaining blindsided. And now I'm discarded like I was nothing. It's a night and day difference on how I'm being treated.. or should I say ghosted. He sent my messages to his ex. The ones where I was in pain pouring my heart out. He still won't ttm or tell me what happened. Just gone! One minute he wants me forever and wants to marry me. The next. I don't exist. I did nothing to deserve this. I want the pain to just go away.
@@sandracastellanos921 yes!he was calling Me crazy and this and that ... he is a disgusting human being. I did end up messing with him again but in the end had the same results.. but I'm so done now!
I’m going through the worst discard effects yet. I have been accused of being crazy and threatening the safety of this person and their family. All I asked for was space.
Definitely resonate with the video I'm now dealing with the aftermath of dealing with a narcissist discard of me the suffering goes on after leaving the narricisst the effects is serious pain and hurting I had no where to go after the narricisst destroyed my family and friends now living in my car for two months ive left staying with the narricisst trying to recover not easy for me at this time in the situation I'm in right now I discovered this video and God answered my questions and prayers and I thank you so much for sharing this with me asking for prayers thank you
I was in the same situation pregnant with two middle school aged children. I rebuilt our life and never looked back. Get a job and work hard and there are services to help you. It has been 17 years now and I am doing so much better and my kids and I did fine. God bless
Wow, just re-watched Inception and it almost seems like that is the inner reality of a narcissist. the invented drama and purpose and the symbol of someone he loves but in a distorted fantasy scenario. amazing how he hooks the new source by making her feel proud of her gifts/talents, getting her addicted to playing this game, making her feel that she can help him. Then there is the initial statement that a virus, parasite, a worm that can infect someone.. is an idea, that we convince someone they came up with.
Amazing video!!!! Thank you so much for allowing people to understand the narcissist disgusting cycle abuse they use to abuse us. You have been an angel to all of us!!
Thanks for video, I do wish I'd been prepared and known all this about narcissists before I was discarded but like most folks I didn't and the shock and cruelty of being discarded really almost killed me. I wish also I'd been prepared to know there was no support system and I had to get through it all on my own. The moment I started finding out about narcissists and realising I would be my very own savour I got strength. There is nowhere to go or anybody who understands when you go through this. I realised that a lot of people reached out to for help were kinda narcissists too. I realised I'd never had strong boundaries in my life and I didn't have much self worth so I had all the wrong people orbiting around me in my life including the narcissist. I realise now that I deserve better and I am very choosy about who I confide or have in my life. I basically cleaned out my closets and worked on my boundaries and I feel much stronger and in control of my life and who is in it. It's like a rebirth and I've learnt to grow up healthy. Thanks for your help and wisdom. I truly appreciate it. X
I’m so grateful to have found your platform. Your advice and words are so accurate. You speak from the heart and it’s really helpful. I’m going through exactly this, I was extremely abused, discarded and then replaced within two days. It was horrific. And I’ve definitely been to hell and back. Here’s to healing.
This video is for me one of Melanie's most meaningful as I can identify completely with all she describes at every stage of narcissistic discard. I'm so grateful for this lovely lady who so clearly has a complete understanding of narcissistic abuse. I'm currently in the midst of a recent discard and struggling to see past my situation but I do have hope, knowing someone truly understands and I'm not alone on this journey. Thank you Melanie and to to others who offer supportive and insightful comments.
Dear Mel, it's so promising to see you so happy and enthusiastic. I am still deeply stuck in this immense pain no matter what I do ... It's awful! It seems like it'll never get better 😪
Darja sweetheart I truly can't urge you enough to try out my NARP program www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp I promise there is another way to breakthrough with Quantum healing tools. You can find out everything you need to know about NARP via that link. You so deserve to heal and thrive hun. Love and Blessings xoxox
Thank you for this video, it helped me so much when I was having a bad day today. Gotta stay strong and keep doing me. Nobody deserves to be treated like this, you are all amazing if you’re reading this.
Dear Melanie, thank you for your knowledge, competence and you are a healer. I just joined NARP and I KNOW GOD LEAD ME TO YOU AND YOUR PROGRAM. I've got a lot of healing to do. I'm so thankful I found you.
This person that just discarded me is a covert narcissist so nobody else will know what he’s true colours really are except for me. He was very difficult to be with, over time I thought okay maybe it’s because of what they are going through. He would swear at me. Then when I injured his ego then he immediately discarded me
It hurts so much, I’m so dumb. I don’t think I’ll ever be vulnerable again. I feel so manipulated. I’ve given everything, and literally have negative left. I remember when she thought a vacation would save our relationship and I said I would love to but if you still aren’t happy you’ll leave me with nothing, no money left in my account. She guilted and manipulated me into doing it, and discarded me anyway. Everything I’ve had is gone.
Guyyyys trust me there are women out here looking for guys who are loving giving and nurturing. I and most of my female friends have experienced affects of narcissism too. But don't let that block you off from receiving love from another
I would say just look for early signs of narcissists but the problem I often see in people is that they attract the same type over and over. Some people are just attracted to toxic individuals especially if they are attractive. I have a friend that treats good men like garbage and gets away with it because she’s pretty. I make so many sacrifices to find someone good
I ended up fowarding all his recent hoovering/emotional manipulating emails to his current and highlighted all the areas that showed that as well as proof of previous shady messages he sent me behind a previous gf's back. Same shit, just different women. 🤣 He always says "message me if you ever need anything". Maaaaaaate, I haven't asked for your help not even once after the breakup which was in 2014 and it's now 2021, Why they fuck would I want to ask him for help when I moved on or be friends 🤣🤣🤣
My mother never says that she loves or loved me, it's like it's expected that I love her but never the other way around. She may not have discarded me prior to her last rage but I bet it's there now. I have nothing to give to her, I'm sick from dealing with her, my diabetes, fibromyalgia and high blood pressure. Seriously I've had enough of her crap.
I bought Mealnie's package 4 years ago and I literally clung to my laptop as a lifeline as I worked my way through each session. Knowing what happened was critical, but being shown the way out by this angel was life saving.
Oh my god, I have one in my family.. has torn our family apart . Took me years to realise what she is and that it’s not mine or anyone elses fault for everything. I decided 12 months ago to walk alway and it was like a weight was lifted. Love my brother but can’t tolerate his wife s behaviour any longer ..
It was so unsettling the level of cruelty and sadistic punishment the malignant narcissist alcoholic ex I divorced finally stooped to especially during the bad times funerals, illnesses, surgeries, crisis times in my children’s lives....when I thought my children and I could rely or count on him to be there for us unconditionally , prioritize his own family show empathy, compassion, care, support through actions . He would instead always turn his back on us , run away and abandon us and further kick us while we are down by ignoring us, and lashing out raging on us as if we became his worst enemy and he showed loud and clear that he wanted nothing to do with us because we dare to expect any care or support from him he made it known he had no time to waste to be bothered or dragged into dealing with our hassles or problems as only he matters
The narcissist discarded me right after my serious car accident. He said that god was telling him he must dump me. He said, “god punishes those he loves” with a smirk on his face. God, saints, apostles are all on his side. Is he truly godly?
My ex said the same thing when he discarded me. As I’m on my knees sobbing and begging him not to leave me, he told me God is punishing me. I asked him for some Grace and he laughed at me.
This info. makes so much sense (even in understanding a narcisstic sibling & why she does what she does to others!). Thank you Melanie, this is so helpful! 👍💖
Pls send prayers this pain is unbearable I just want my husband back we've only been married since 4/30/2021 I can't stop loving him even though I'm trying to understand how ANYONE could treat a human being like this let alone a spouse💔 pLease send prayers🙏💞
Thank you Melanie, this is SPOT ON. My ex-narc-who promised me the world, wasted 17 years of my life, hollowed me out and discarded me after I finally put up boundaries to save my soul-actually hovers me by texting at all hours on the weekends actually asking me to “play”-meaning sext.
Just watching this video my pain and trauma has come rushing to the surface Omg it’s the most intense pain the discard and the hoover My heart goes out to all of you reading if you’re triggered as I have been
Hi I'm also 4wks after he discarded me . I'm barely able to function eat or sleep the pain is so great ..im even considering ringing him ,your not alone in your pain god bless
@@janettepointon2540 12 years ago I remember wanting to pull away from him, my instinct was serving me . I ignored it because he love bombed me and was so persistent in his winning me over - I so wish I would have never given in to him ! He is the cruelest human being I have ever known and I fell for him. I ask myself how but now it’s too late for contemplating the errors on my part - he has stolen so much of me
@@cs1487 I totally understand ,I've had all kinds discard over the last 20yrs , but 10 yrs ago I had a chance to break free , he had discarded me fir another woman ,I almost moved on ,I even started dating, but then he came back saying all the things you like to hear ...so much abuse ,so many personalities in one man ..and of course fueled by alcohol. .this last discard is because I set firm boundaries , and that never goes down well .you feel like the only person who's going through this torment ..
@@janettepointon2540I’m so sorry I understand your pain.. always another woman involved they can’t be alone. I set boundaries this time as well.. however he always grabs ahold of it and claims the discard. We were talking after I set my terms and he went silent . He always has to have control and always has to “win “ This time I’m going to suffer through and stick it out I don’t want t this ever again !
@@cs1487 we used to rent a property it was in his name and when he was drunk would kick me out, so I managed to get my own place and he came to live with me ,I took back my control ,I set boundries about his drinking and when I'm just finding no contact very difficult, not a phone call from him I nearly 2wks , every day is just so agonising.
The discard is when the realization hits you that all of the time you spent them, was nothing more than a lie. You meant zero to them, and what you saw as love, was all just a put on, to squeeze supply out of you. You have been used and discarded, just like a hamberger wrapper.
You have no idea of the depth of my disconnect and pain. Since the day I was born. Discarded by literally everyone. Till I'm 45 now suffering so much loss, regret and disconnect. And no... therapists are horrors. Because they have been more than useless. I hear you talking about relationships. Lol. 3 years? I would have loved to have only suffered 3 or so years out of my life. I'm so messed up, I wonder if I have narcissist traits. I've never been so defeated, low, scared, and confused and helpless in life than I am now. I no longer trust ANYONE. More... I am not in belief that anything can help me after a lifetime now.
I feel so alone with all of this I was discarded and thrown out like trash Almost had my neck broke Almost killed me I had only my younger sister to let me stay and I feel so alone Noone and I mean no one understands unless you have truly been there I give my power away by begging my narccicisst to come home and I hear my sister saying "here we go again" It's so frustrating I am so close to homelessness it aint even funny I am beyond depressed I have deep deep trauma and it comes up out of nowhere and it feels like complete hell How I gave my all I gave my whole life for him just to start standing up for myself and got thrown out like Garbage Noone understands unless they have been through it I feel so alone I spend alot of time on narccicisst abuse video's because I'm trying to stay strong I don't want to end my life but I can't do this
@@thepurestbashir-xr5ex thanks for writing me back.im not good I came back twice already and left and now I'm back again.i was gone for 4 month's and came back and then I have been here for almost 3 months.its hell.nothing at all has changed except for it has gotten worse .just got a job and for the last 3 days he's been fighting with me nonstop!!!!! I'm so exausted and so damn angry
Im living through this now Its horrendous I cannot at times even get out of bed It was 3 yrs He did exactly do what you have said Im in an abyss that i dont see how to pull out of The hoovers The cheating then flaunting it my face When i became angry from him txting pictures of his women he actually told me hed videoed us in intimacy without me knowing it and was going to send it to my family friends children !!!! This was today Im just in trauma shock
Hun please know that you can breakthrough this powerfully with healing, myself and thousands more have been there and are the proof. Please sign up for my free 16 Day Recovery course here www.youcanthrivebook.com/freecourse so you can start taking the first steps towards healing and your empowerment. I believe this can help you sweetheart. Love and blessings xoxox
What a dead pig!!! How horrific! However, so what think to yourself, so what. If you have loving peeps as family Theo will understand. You will rise out of this and build yourself up. This fool will always be a dead pig. Love yourself, you’re worth it
My goodness I honestly had not been keeping up with your videos because it's been 4 years since I left and moved far away from him and ya there were a couple of reconciliations but this last run was the bomb of them all and I am now truly no contact. It's taken this long for me to realize that the only way to survive is to go full no contact and even though I have done this to save myself somehow he still gets the last punch. Anyhow listening to this video it's like you read my mind thank you.
This is my x fiancé to a T. Iv never felt more worthless, trying to turn my family against me. I can’t even see my step kids … then when I cry she says I am mentally unstable. I have never been so emotionally overwhelmed I can’t even explain I can’t even speak it’s so surreal. Also using therapist against me I can’t even fight back with words she’s just so good at arguing.
Fantastic insight Melanie! This sums up my life right now. ❤️🙏 It’s great to know there are other people going through the same thing and there is support out there for everyone.
@@kimvannote5024 welcome to my world... I'm in my mid 30's now... my dream of having my own family with a woman i deeply love is broken ... I feel you.. every day is a fight... for me it's if she died... I can't grief, even if I show as if I'm good currently
OMG you named it.I met someone I though he is perfect for me.Caring,loving, caring for my kids.Just a few days after a major surgery of mine he left me, eventhough I was really hoping to have him on my side and support me. Untill the surgery we had fun, going to parties, travelling, he even bought a "family car"..he felt somehow inspired by me...when I needed him and was down due to my surgery, after a little conflict he broke up immediatelly, drove me home and that was it. Than he asked if we can stay "friends" and see us sometimes.I said I dont wanna see him ever again in my life. I was only left with questions and I felt really misserable he left me in the worst time of my life just after a big surgery. It was all just a huge lie. I was no fun for him anymore.
I am in bits. Truly. I gave him everything and more. Everything was my fault. Everything. I took him back (again) and abused my trust. It only happened 24 hours ago. I can’t stop crying and feel so very low. But he is okay. Of course. He having a great time today. And I can’t physically move off settee. I feel broken more than ever. Blessings to all.
What about the situation when he doesn't want to discard, and insist to stick to the situation? is a living hell...what is smiling?thank you in advance. 🤗
I never expected to feel like this. It's been 2 wks since he ghosted me in final discard. I've been in therapy twice weekly for 7 mths trying to get out of this mess. Trying to understand what was going on. Trying to put my life together. Now, here it is, the end of it. He's gone. I should be happy. i feel horrible. Ugh.
I was discarded cruelly after she felt like I was on to her BS.. we just met each others family.. it's been 5 months.. it's like slapping the crap out if them will make you feel better. But don't let them pieces of crap make u feel any less about yourself. They are 💩. So they want to make you one.. Learn to love yourself.
Your a great comfort to me. You are wise and beautiful and living prufe that you literally can be dang near perfect and a narcissit still wont appreciate.
Amazing! I needed to hear this right now. It means all my red flag system working well. It looks like I am being discarded slowly... I know why I was feeling hurt... well, it is very well actually, the worst would be me discarding myself by accepting his games... breaking up and choosing myself, NOW!
It is been two years fighting divorce with a covert narcissi who cheated on me with her lover before and after marriage. The pain and wounds each day for two years!!! This pain, so much for I have endured loving such an evil women!
They open and trample your deepest (childhood) wounds and then they give you a little bit care so in your nervous system is deeply imprinted that the only way to get some relief is this person!! Thats why it is so hurtful because all wounds open, infected and you´re left alone without getting any relief anymore by this person.
Thank God for you Melanie and Narp.i have been and still am a Narp member and can highly recommend this program. I can honestly say from the bottom of my heart that Narp has saved my life.Thank you.
Absolutely, how he is . One court order and two years on after continued abuse he now apply to change Cort order , to claim every single asset. He is by far the sickest thing I've ever known. Evil through and through and his next supply living in my home has fallen for him hok line and sinker, of cause I'm the crazy ex next door .
Mine became enraged at me and kept saying, "you haven't done enough for me! you should be doing more for me!" We were in a restaurant having dinner, and it was the weirdest thing in the world to now have a plate of food in front of me and knowing this was the actual, final discard. Thank God he broke up with me, but it was terrible and bizarre.
This was just painful!!! I was totally unprepared for the experience. It took me 1.5 years to get my emotions back in line. One day I just suddenly switched from the high speed rollercoaster with Grand Canyon type drops that was stuff of nightmares to one where it felt like someone put wheels on my feet and I could not get off the coaster, no matter how I tried. It absolutely sucked!!! When my narcissistic wife left suddenly, she left my world upside down entirely (financially, physically, emotionally and mentally).🤕
Makes me sick to think I ever let this happen to me.
Omg I totally understand this feeling.
Me too but I just joined NARP and I'm determined to heal fully and completely.
😥😢
Scary stuff.. I feel so lost after the discard
Same lol
I’ve been divorced and separated from her for over 2 years now and I’m still broken. I’ve actually become very depressed from it. I never saw it coming. I gave everything I had to her. I was discarded and replaced like I was Nothing. The healing process is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to go through.
Boy do I know how you feel. 3 years divorced and the trauma triggers are a place where I’m just now able to look at.
You have to understand that her leaving is the best thing that could have ever happened to you. I promise one day you will realize this. You are free! You will find a normal human being who is worthy of you, I promise!
22 years for me and still broken. Never got over it because it was SO utterly unexpected - was discarded literally overnight. He destroyed my belief in relationships, trust in men (totally) and faith in love itself. One can only pray someone does it to him one day but then he probably wouldn’t care, would he?
This isn’t promising lol. I got discarded out the blue 4 months ago from a 12 year marriage. She was so cold. Nothing I done was good enough. Everything was my fault etc…
I’m struggling with depression. Anger. Self worth and the main one TRUST
I send my love to all who are going through this right now ❤️
Going through this now. Every day is like a new pain.
Thanks! I'm almost over it now!
I didn't even know what narcissist was until I started watching these videos pure evil , heartless, lying , unhuman .
Almost a year and a half and it still hurts. Every day is struggle dealing with this.
It’ll be a year next month for me.. you’re not alone. Everyday is a struggle for me too
@@stephw3475 Be strong we’re going to come out of the fog and be stronger and happier than ever..yes there’s lots of comfort knowing we’re not alone in this confusing mess.
Chris I so want you to know that it is possible to get out of the agony and heal. Have you heard about my NARP Program www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp ? It is exactay how myself and so many others got our hearts, souls and life back xoxox
You can heal!! It doesn't have to hurt anymore and you can be stronger than ever before
Me too.
That's exactly what I thought during the horrible, cruel discard !
How could he be so cruel ? What did I even do to deserve such brutality !
That was the time when I realised that yes, that person was not a normal human, only a narcissist is capable of such vile attacks !
The realisation phase is incredibly painful. Makes me sick!
Why does it feel so different than an ordinary break up? What else can we learn about trauma bonding?
This is exactly what I am going thru right now. 33 years 3 kids and no marriage. He never wanted to get married. Thru the years I couldn't go back to school to get a job was a real battle. Now he has two house money and he is willing to throw me out with nothing but my clothes. I am living in anxiety and hell.😢😢
Melanie your words are spot on. Ending the enmeshment with a narcissist allows us to connect with ourselves. “Life begins on the other side of despair.” Jean-Paul Sartre.
Narcissist cannot be relied on in time of need. When the chips are down narcs love to do the discard. A female narc discard me viciously, it felt like getting punched in the stomach full force. 😂
Good analogy
Everything you said happened to me!!
EVERYTHING YOU SAID!!!
I am now divorced and healing .
And moving forward with happiness
Horrible for anyone affected you will heal I did after 26 years
Please never go back. You are doing a good job and will be so much happier now. God bless
@@Alaska-me5jc Never is the key the peacefulness you will experience is wonderful
@@mrp8173 Thank you!!
Mine was 18 years 💞
@@Alaska-me5jc NEVER!!!
Thank you!!💞
It hurts because i don't feel like a person anymore, i feel like an object that went to the trash.
I stuck with him and wasted precious years of my life even through times I wanted and tried so hard to get out of, yet he would always Hoover me back but now he's the one that goes completely quiet and had other supply. When he's had enough I have no choice to go with it. I will NEVER allow myself to be hoovered again!
Your compassion in begging and pleading behaviors “that we all did” is SUCH a comfort!!!!
It hurts because I really thought he would have empathy for me but he really, truly, doesn't. It's mind boggling and gut wrenching. But I guess it's really part of the disorder. How absolutely sickening their inner world must be. We'll be okay survivors, just keep surrounding yourself with positive and supportive people in your life. God is still good and a healer of all hurt 🙏🏾💗
I am totally heart broken, after 21 years of marriage. How was I so blind? So many years of hell, blows up in my face to make it even worse
So glad to be out of this after 23 years...o asked him to leave 3 months ago, he did and he’s been so cruel. Like I didn’t even know him - who was this man I married? He’s always the victim and I have it made. As I try every day to pick myself up off the floor and get my life back.
I feel painful with this breakup after I have emotionally invested on him. I know I can go through it. 💪
"when you do good, you do good for yourself, when you do evil you do evil against (detrimental to) yourself." part of a Quranic verse.
I still don't understand how they can make themselves out to be the wonderful person because it's fake and it must feel awful inside.
The truth will prevail if not years later, then in the next life.
Melanie's description section is 💯 true it happened to me. I'm glad to know that I wasn't such a bad person nor crazy person after all. Lol
I was discarded IN the relationship. (More times than I want to admit) Ignored for days after a rageful outbreak from him. Ignored during the week, but then he would be angry if I went and had fun with others (my mom, my kids, my girlfriends) so strange.
I am the one that finally broke up permanently. Most difficult thing.
So glad that I did it, though. I wasted too many years in that crazy cycle of abuse.
Hi, just out of curiosity. Did you not hear from him again after you broke up with him? I'm going through the same right now x
Thank you. It’s been 5 years. It was the fight of my life.
How are you doing now?
I believe you there. Your comment is so relatable I am crying
How are you doing now? I have went back numerous times and was gone for 4 months and he sucked me back in and hasn’t threw me out and made me homeless several times is now devaluing and discarding again
He treats me like fucking shit
Im so sick of this
I sometimes feel like I can’t survive without him and I mean that 10000% literally
It sucks
Didn’t realise I’d been with a narcissist until after we broke up a month ago, after ending it 4 times in a month....3 weeks into no contact and I realised what had happened throughout our relationship, well at least after the love bombing. I wrote a text asking for the engagement ring back or a conversation about our future, and whether changes could be made.I knew it would trigger her but I think on a subconscious level I knew it would happen.... her new partner and projection is what I received back. It’s heart breaking but I knew I had to break the cycle, it was yesterday so it hurts like shit. But so does only being a shell of my former self. the love for her is huge but so is the heartbreak.
I'm at the pulling away stage right now. Last time round I was discarded, but went no contact for 3 months and was doing ok until I was hoovered back. I wasn't expecting it.
Yep I did the boundary setting, talking through things scenarios and it looked like things had changed but how wrong was I?! I needed that lesson though. I now couldn't care less if I see him again or not
This is exactly what happened to me. My ex narcissist psychopath gave me some warnings before the discard but I was in complete shock. He left me many times and the final discard he left me when I was sick. Never been through soo much pain in my life. After a few months of stringing me along and still torturing me I went No Contact and then the love bombing came back, and he would write me love letters..all of which I ignored. These people are evil entities and creatures from the depths of hell. Thankfully we didnt have children so I've been 14 months n.c. and healing more everyday I'm out of it. Yes it was so devastating I convinced myself I could be dying during the discard. It was like coming off of a drug because the trauma bond was so strong. He was physically abusive as well and I was truly dealing with a devil in disguise. Take it from me, going no contact was the best thing I could have done for myself.
It's just sickening whats happends with these people they are mentally ill and evil. The hoovering tactic would have to be the worst ever even after being discarded you would go insane.
This is pretty lengthy, but thought I'd have to share as everything you said in this video is what I went through and how im feeling! I grasp for air everytime. I cant function its been 3 months no hoover no nothing, its like hes changed his identity living his life with probably the same supply or new supply. Its like hes just disappeared! Dont know nothing about him or if he's even alive thats how well he's hiding just the way he hid all this from me!
Im pretty sure I've been with a narcissist this whole time. He discarded me 3months ago. After 18 years together this all makes sense, he used his sly skills to keep me there until he found a new supply. All these years didnt realise it was narcissistic behaviour, just thought thats how he is and it was normal. When he broke it off, it was the most lies I've ever heard. Its me its not you, im not happy, need to be alone find myself, i do love you, but I just need my space, I dont know what I want, we kept trying but didn't work (he never tried only when he wanted) we're different, i was showing signs. My god i saw every single sign. Absolute mixed signs and I didnt know that's a form of manipulation. I asked several times did you meet someone? He said no if I cant commit to you how can I commit to someone else! Omg! Did he meet someone alright! Behind my back! Every other break up was arguing and yelling this one was too calm. He knew when to use me and discard me. I always apologised he never once did even for the smallest thing. Made me question my sanity? He has his chat with me and was done. Fast forward a few days im obviously a mess got completely blindsided! My gut was telling me no, it's that hes got someone new. My suspicions were correct! This whole time behind my back he was talking to someone and used me slowly until he was ready to have the 'chat' with me. I went over to confirm my suspicion and that POS after 18 years that I gave him my whole world and what my family gave him he just shat on it! He opened the door and he knew right then oh crap, I just got caught out, but I only knew because I saw her car in his driveway and he quickly tried to hide us from seeing each other. I asked him to be a man and step outside and give me the honest truth and all he could say is you need to leave, she clearly didn't have a clue he even had a gf this whole time because when I started screaming out hes a cheater a liar and everything under the sun the first thing he did was yell youre a psycho! Im glad i did because she wouldn't have had a clue, so if it happens to her one day, then I warned her! But I keep thinking he will change and treat her like a queen the way i shouldve been treated.A psycho because I've been hurt and betrayed and asking you the truth?! So he was making me out to be crazy and threatening to call the cops!!! The cops because he got busted with the lies and this girl didn't know anything coz he has fed her with lies! I knew there was more to it when he deleted his social media and he would never do that when I would ask him to because he was infatuated over the instagram models and then say to me no we like natural girls this is all fake, but then still be obsessed with them and that im just insecure! I am so disgusted that allowed my whole time, body and soul to this guy! I gave him my world my heart! He stomped on it all for his new supply?! He used me to better himself for the next person?! That is evil! This is a guy that lost his family and we took him under our wings living with my family gave him a whole new life and he simply shat on us all! The lies and manipulation he has caused me. He's made me feel worthless so disgusting I can't even look at myself while he's already happy out there with someone that I didnt get to see, to see why she is better than me? But I have to think, STOP, its not you. He lied his was with her like he did with you. POS! I've never felt this low in my life. My mental state, he has ruined! Belittled me and I took it all because I just thought i can help him hes depressed or I loved him?! Who does that to another person and wakes up living and breathing like you did not do anything wrong?! All these unanswered questions how did it happen? When did it happen? What does she have I dont? Who is she? Where did you meet? How did I not see anything? My mind is nuts! Im in so much pain from 1 person?! How could 1 person ruin your life and go about their day with the next person? Ao sick! Sick to think he did this for God knows how long and I was used. He mentally detached himself ages ago and I didnt see it? He manipulated me so much that I was the insecure one its all in my head! To only be with me this whole time acting up and down and she was there all along?! So sick! To call the cops? That is insane! It was all about his ego and to make me look pathetic in front of her! Goes to show no matter how long someone can be in your life can still shit on it and continue with theirs! I will definitely get a 'i didnt want to hurt you response' or protect you! Hell no! You did it to protect yourself and your new supply so she doesn't know the real you! POS i didnt see anything in his phone!! He obviously was deleting msgs. Im furious ! If only I dug more I could have ended this months ago because there is no way this had just happened the day after we broke up. He planned it. Especially due to being stuck in a pandemic and being on lockdown for 5 months not being able to see anyone he planned it. I dont know how I didnt see it! I can't get past this. Im constantly thinking how blinded I was to not see it! There were red flags (now I see them), but during the time he just kept reassuring me its in my head! I feel like such an idiot! I guess, he'll love her more than me, treat her better and change for her! Im so mad as I kept asking the last few months what are we? Im over getting treated differently everyday and he would just bypass the conversation or come up with something shitty and be like oh you this or you that and then I'd either cry and leave or I would apologise! If I threatened to leave im done I've had enough of this treatment he'd smirk and I'd leave not speak to him and he would get in touch with me in a week and be like hey, I dont wanna argue if were gonna argue ill be over it and he'll ignore me! How many times he would ignore me for a week or so while I would beg for him to just speak to me. Beg and cry to speak. Oh it was sickening. I fought and fought and im at the bottom. This is the same guy that didnt believe in God or spiritual things and all of a sudden hes so spiritual wearing all his crystals and believes in God telling me about what it all means!!! What a joke! Hardest part is coming to realisation you were a toy and was NEVER loved! Just cant believe they look at you in the eyes while they are being sneaky, to potray himself as a great guy and come here celebrating my birthday buying gifts, showing my family what a nice guy he is buying me a cake, shouting us all dinner and plotting all this behind out backs!
Everything you wrote I am going though with my ex now!!! How could I have not seen it!! Every weekend claiming to be eating out with her sisters when the whole time it was someone else never apologizing about the simplest things all the lies!! I see them now but this pain want go away it's deep in my soul!! She went from 27 years with me to another relationship just like that.. lying saying she just wants to be single and I believe she woul sleep with him and come home and sleep with me!! Smearing my name to my daughter turning my kids against me!! All while I suffer alone heartbroken
Yep. It’s completely nuts
I made sure to discard my narc first n prove i still had self respect
You are so right. I couldn't find a job and was depressed is when he discarded.
I was discarded 7 days ago after months of hell. This must be the 1000th discard over 16 years. The feeling of dying is so true. I just want this awful pain to end.
Helen my heart goes out to you. I'd love to offer you my free 3 keys workshop. It will help show you how to get relief and your soul and sanity back www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar xoxox
My narcissist ex did so much damage to me , when he discarded me I was left thinking everything was my fault, I thought I was a crazy , toxic , manipulative, controlling and annoying gf as he said I was. Something kept telling me to search what the word narcissist is then once I did everything made sense 😭 I realized I got sooo manipulated I’m still trying to heal from this
It's so hard. I'm still so In love. I was complaining blindsided. And now I'm discarded like I was nothing. It's a night and day difference on how I'm being treated.. or should I say ghosted. He sent my messages to his ex. The ones where I was in pain pouring my heart out. He still won't ttm or tell me what happened. Just gone! One minute he wants me forever and wants to marry me. The next. I don't exist. I did nothing to deserve this. I want the pain to just go away.
How are you doing now? I just got discarded.
He sent your messages? What a horrible nasty person. Was he bragging about it to her?
@@sandracastellanos921 yes!he was calling Me crazy and this and that ... he is a disgusting human being. I did end up messing with him again but in the end had the same results.. but I'm so done now!
I’m going through the worst discard effects yet. I have been accused of being crazy and threatening the safety of this person and their family. All I asked for was space.
😭😭😭😭😭 same
You have saved my life and my sanity God’s blessing’s to you forever 🙏♥️⭐️💎🌈🌎
PLG so much love to you xoxox
just discarded for the 5th time at least. it is brutal how they turn on you and kick u while u are down.
Definitely resonate with the video I'm now dealing with the aftermath of dealing with a narcissist discard of me the suffering goes on after leaving the narricisst the effects is serious pain and hurting I had no where to go after the narricisst destroyed my family and friends now living in my car for two months ive left staying with the narricisst trying to recover not easy for me at this time in the situation I'm in right now I discovered this video and God answered my questions and prayers and I thank you so much for sharing this with me asking for prayers thank you
I was in the same situation pregnant with two middle school aged children. I rebuilt our life and never looked back. Get a job and work hard and there are services to help you. It has been 17 years now and I am doing so much better and my kids and I did fine. God bless
🙏🕊❤
Thanks for uploading! I hope and pray all recover and heal from their trauma and life a happy free life!!
Wow, just re-watched Inception and it almost seems like that is the inner reality of a narcissist. the invented drama and purpose and the symbol of someone he loves but in a distorted fantasy scenario. amazing how he hooks the new source by making her feel proud of her gifts/talents, getting her addicted to playing this game, making her feel that she can help him. Then there is the initial statement that a virus, parasite, a worm that can infect someone.. is an idea, that we convince someone they came up with.
Incredible insight. I have seen that movie at least 10 times and I never had that click! Thanks. I needed that today. 💛🌿
Amazing video!!!! Thank you so much for allowing people to understand the narcissist disgusting cycle abuse they use to abuse us. You have been an angel to all of us!!
Thank you Mia and you are very welcome xoxox
Thanks for video, I do wish I'd been prepared and known all this about narcissists before I was discarded but like most folks I didn't and the shock and cruelty of being discarded really almost killed me. I wish also I'd been prepared to know there was no support system and I had to get through it all on my own. The moment I started finding out about narcissists and realising I would be my very own savour I got strength. There is nowhere to go or anybody who understands when you go through this. I realised that a lot of people reached out to for help were kinda narcissists too. I realised I'd never had strong boundaries in my life and I didn't have much self worth so I had all the wrong people orbiting around me in my life including the narcissist. I realise now that I deserve better and I am very choosy about who I confide or have in my life. I basically cleaned out my closets and worked on my boundaries and I feel much stronger and in control of my life and who is in it. It's like a rebirth and I've learnt to grow up healthy. Thanks for your help and wisdom. I truly appreciate it. X
It truly is soul rape
I have never been loved back
I’m so grateful to have found your platform. Your advice and words are so accurate. You speak from the heart and it’s really helpful. I’m going through exactly this, I was extremely abused, discarded and then replaced within two days. It was horrific. And I’ve definitely been to hell and back. Here’s to healing.
Yes, Frankie here is to your healing sweetheart! Bless! xoxox
I know this is off topic but your hair looks marvelous!
Yes it does ! Love the tone.
14 year relationship here. Dumped in text blocked everywhere. Tried to reconcile a few times. Ice cold. Made me stronger.
This video is for me one of Melanie's most meaningful as I can identify completely with all she describes at every stage of narcissistic discard. I'm so grateful for this lovely lady who so clearly has a complete understanding of narcissistic abuse. I'm currently in the midst of a recent discard and struggling to see past my situation but I do have hope, knowing someone truly understands and I'm not alone on this journey. Thank you Melanie and to to others who offer supportive and insightful comments.
You are very welcome Sue, and I'm so pleased you are here with us in this wonderful community! xoxox
I am only a month in after the discard. I'm glad he is gone but it's hurtful. But I'm still no contact and never going back again!!
You are not alone.
Dear Mel, it's so promising to see you so happy and enthusiastic. I am still deeply stuck in this immense pain no matter what I do ... It's awful! It seems like it'll never get better 😪
Darja sweetheart I truly can't urge you enough to try out my NARP program www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp
I promise there is another way to breakthrough with Quantum healing tools. You can find out everything you need to know about NARP via that link. You so deserve to heal and thrive hun. Love and Blessings xoxox
@@MelanieToniaEvans ❤
Thank you for this video, it helped me so much when I was having a bad day today. Gotta stay strong and keep doing me. Nobody deserves to be treated like this, you are all amazing if you’re reading this.
Dear Melanie, thank you for your knowledge, competence and you are a healer. I just joined NARP and I KNOW GOD LEAD ME TO YOU AND YOUR PROGRAM. I've got a lot of healing to do. I'm so thankful I found you.
This person that just discarded me is a covert narcissist so nobody else will know what he’s true colours really are except for me.
He was very difficult to be with, over time I thought okay maybe it’s because of what they are going through.
He would swear at me. Then when I injured his ego then he immediately discarded me
It hurts so much, I’m so dumb. I don’t think I’ll ever be vulnerable again.
I feel so manipulated. I’ve given everything, and literally have negative left. I remember when she thought a vacation would save our relationship and I said I would love to but if you still aren’t happy you’ll leave me with nothing, no money left in my account. She guilted and manipulated me into doing it, and discarded me anyway.
Everything I’ve had is gone.
Guyyyys trust me there are women out here looking for guys who are loving giving and nurturing. I and most of my female friends have experienced affects of narcissism too. But don't let that block you off from receiving love from another
I would say just look for early signs of narcissists but the problem I often see in people is that they attract the same type over and over. Some people are just attracted to toxic individuals especially if they are attractive. I have a friend that treats good men like garbage and gets away with it because she’s pretty. I make so many sacrifices to find someone good
This is exactly what I’m going through right now…
I ended up fowarding all his recent hoovering/emotional manipulating emails to his current and highlighted all the areas that showed that as well as proof of previous shady messages he sent me behind a previous gf's back. Same shit, just different women. 🤣
He always says "message me if you ever need anything". Maaaaaaate, I haven't asked for your help not even once after the breakup which was in 2014 and it's now 2021, Why they fuck would I want to ask him for help when I moved on or be friends 🤣🤣🤣
You get prettier and prettier every year. Thank you for what you do. 🌺
Awww Alaska thank you for the lovely compliment xoxo
My mother never says that she loves or loved me, it's like it's expected that I love her but never the other way around. She may not have discarded me prior to her last rage but I bet it's there now. I have nothing to give to her, I'm sick from dealing with her, my diabetes, fibromyalgia and high blood pressure. Seriously I've had enough of her crap.
I know how horrible it feels. Hope, you'll get better. Maybe you could move out and rent your own place? You would feel much better there.
I bought Mealnie's package 4 years ago and I literally clung to my laptop as a lifeline as I worked my way through each session. Knowing what happened was critical, but being shown the way out by this angel was life saving.
I was fine moving forward but have relapse.
Cant stop thinking of her and asking all those questions again .
Inserter I highly recommend coming into my free webinar www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar where you can learn how to treat this xox
@@MelanieToniaEvans going into the divorce court today. She discarded me 😥
She thought she was far better than she was. Thank you. I can see this a mile away now. Btw Tinder is a clubhouse for these narcissists.
You need to just sleep....so healing. Go to bed redicoulessly early....feels so goog
Oh my god, I have one in my family.. has torn our family apart . Took me years to realise what she is and that it’s not mine or anyone elses fault for everything. I decided 12 months ago to walk alway and it was like a weight was lifted. Love my brother but can’t tolerate his wife s behaviour any longer ..
It was so unsettling the level of cruelty and sadistic punishment the malignant narcissist alcoholic ex I divorced finally stooped to
especially during the bad times funerals, illnesses, surgeries, crisis times in my children’s lives....when I thought my children and I could rely or count on him to be there for us unconditionally , prioritize his own family show empathy, compassion, care, support through actions .
He would instead always turn his back on us , run away and abandon us and further kick us while we are down by ignoring us, and lashing out raging on us as if we became his worst enemy and he showed loud and clear that he wanted nothing to do with us because we dare to expect any care or support from him
he made it known he had no time to waste to be bothered or dragged into dealing with our hassles or problems as only he matters
The narcissist discarded me right after my serious car accident. He said that god was telling him he must dump me. He said, “god punishes those he loves” with a smirk on his face. God, saints, apostles are all on his side. Is he truly godly?
If his god is Lucifer, yes.
He sounds like a totally evil creature.
Mine was a self proclaimed “son of God” but far from it behind closed doors. There were good times though so it made it more confusing
Omg so shocking
My ex said the same thing when he discarded me. As I’m on my knees sobbing and begging him not to leave me, he told me God is punishing me. I asked him for some Grace and he laughed at me.
I'm there right now and it is devastating.... it feels as if you never known this Person ever.....
This info. makes so much sense (even in understanding a narcisstic sibling & why she does what she does to others!). Thank you Melanie, this is so helpful! 👍💖
Pls send prayers this pain is unbearable I just want my husband back we've only been married since 4/30/2021 I can't stop loving him even though I'm trying to understand how ANYONE could treat a human being like this let alone a spouse💔 pLease send prayers🙏💞
Hi Jamie..how are you doing today? I pray you are ok.
Thank you Melanie, this is SPOT ON. My ex-narc-who promised me the world, wasted 17 years of my life, hollowed me out and discarded me after I finally put up boundaries to save my soul-actually hovers me by texting at all hours on the weekends actually asking me to “play”-meaning sext.
Just watching this video my pain and trauma has come rushing to the surface
Omg it’s the most intense pain the discard and the hoover
My heart goes out to all of you reading if you’re triggered as I have been
you hit the nail right on the head every discussion..:( im 4 weeks out of the final discard) I actually feel physically ill This is the so hard
Hi I'm also 4wks after he discarded me . I'm barely able to function eat or sleep the pain is so great ..im even considering ringing him ,your not alone in your pain god bless
@@janettepointon2540 12 years ago I remember wanting to pull away from him, my instinct was serving me . I ignored it because he love bombed me and was so persistent in his winning me over - I so wish I would have never given in to him ! He is the cruelest human being I have ever known and I fell for him. I ask myself how but now it’s too late for contemplating the errors on my part - he has stolen so much of me
@@cs1487 I totally understand ,I've had all kinds discard over the last 20yrs , but 10 yrs ago I had a chance to break free , he had discarded me fir another woman ,I almost moved on ,I even started dating, but then he came back saying all the things you like to hear ...so much abuse ,so many personalities in one man ..and of course fueled by alcohol. .this last discard is because I set firm boundaries , and that never goes down well .you feel like the only person who's going through this torment ..
@@janettepointon2540I’m so sorry I understand your pain.. always another woman involved they can’t be alone. I set boundaries this time as well.. however he always grabs ahold of it and claims the discard. We were talking after I set my terms and he went silent . He always has to have control and always has to “win “ This time I’m going to suffer through and stick it out I don’t want t this ever again !
@@cs1487 we used to rent a property it was in his name and when he was drunk would kick me out, so I managed to get my own place and he came to live with me ,I took back my control ,I set boundries about his drinking and when I'm just finding no contact very difficult, not a phone call from him I nearly 2wks , every day is just so agonising.
The discard is when the realization hits you that all of the time you spent them, was nothing more than a lie. You meant zero to them, and what you saw as love, was all just a put on, to squeeze supply out of you. You have been used and discarded, just like a hamberger wrapper.
You have no idea of the depth of my disconnect and pain. Since the day I was born. Discarded by literally everyone. Till I'm 45 now suffering so much loss, regret and disconnect. And no... therapists are horrors. Because they have been more than useless. I hear you talking about relationships. Lol. 3 years? I would have loved to have only suffered 3 or so years out of my life. I'm so messed up, I wonder if I have narcissist traits. I've never been so defeated, low, scared, and confused and helpless in life than I am now. I no longer trust ANYONE. More... I am not in belief that anything can help me after a lifetime now.
I feel so alone with all of this
I was discarded and thrown out like trash
Almost had my neck broke
Almost killed me
I had only my younger sister to let me stay and I feel so alone
Noone and I mean no one understands unless you have truly been there
I give my power away by begging my narccicisst to come home and I hear my sister saying "here we go again"
It's so frustrating
I am so close to homelessness it aint even funny
I am beyond depressed
I have deep deep trauma and it comes up out of nowhere and it feels like complete hell
How I gave my all
I gave my whole life for him just to start standing up for myself and got thrown out like Garbage
Noone understands unless they have been through it
I feel so alone
I spend alot of time on narccicisst abuse video's because I'm trying to stay strong
I don't want to end my life but I can't do this
I know how u feel ❤ how are u now x
@@thepurestbashir-xr5ex thanks for writing me back.im not good I came back twice already and left and now I'm back again.i was gone for 4 month's and came back and then I have been here for almost 3 months.its hell.nothing at all has changed except for it has gotten worse .just got a job and for the last 3 days he's been fighting with me nonstop!!!!! I'm so exausted and so damn angry
Im living through this now
Its horrendous
I cannot at times even get out of bed
It was 3 yrs
He did exactly do what you have said
Im in an abyss that i dont see how to pull out of
The hoovers
The cheating then flaunting it my face
When i became angry from him txting pictures of his women he actually told me hed videoed us in intimacy without me knowing it and was going to send it to my family friends children !!!! This was today
Im just in trauma shock
Hun please know that you can breakthrough this powerfully with healing, myself and thousands more have been there and are the proof. Please sign up for my free 16 Day Recovery course here www.youcanthrivebook.com/freecourse so you can start taking the first steps towards healing and your empowerment. I believe this can help you sweetheart. Love and blessings xoxox
Wow same story , very hard to deal with. Another day off work
What a dead pig!!! How horrific! However, so what think to yourself, so what. If you have loving peeps as family Theo will understand. You will rise out of this and build yourself up. This fool will always be a dead pig. Love yourself, you’re worth it
I was discardes after having 3 kids and our marriage last 2017 . When I figured him out and the mess is too much, he dimped me and cheats like a dog
My goodness I honestly had not been keeping up with your videos because it's been 4 years since I left and moved far away from him and ya there were a couple of reconciliations but this last run was the bomb of them all and I am now truly no contact. It's taken this long for me to realize that the only way to survive is to go full no contact and even though I have done this to save myself somehow he still gets the last punch. Anyhow listening to this video it's like you read my mind thank you.
It's my pleasure Eve and I am so happy that I can help xoxo
This is my x fiancé to a T. Iv never felt more worthless, trying to turn my family against me. I can’t even see my step kids … then when I cry she says I am mentally unstable. I have never been so emotionally overwhelmed I can’t even explain I can’t even speak it’s so surreal. Also using therapist against me I can’t even fight back with words she’s just so good at arguing.
I'm sick of being attacked by proxy than been blamed for my reaction to their actions. I was born in a family full of narcs. I just want a break.
Fantastic insight Melanie! This sums up my life right now. ❤️🙏
It’s great to know there are other people going through the same thing and there is support out there for everyone.
From a man's pov: I'm currently living this... my ex gf disappeared after nearly 10 years... no empathic behaviour, no contact, ...
This just happened to me also and 10 years of precious wasted time! I feel sick and in disbelief.
@@kimvannote5024 welcome to my world... I'm in my mid 30's now... my dream of having my own family with a woman i deeply love is broken ... I feel you.. every day is a fight... for me it's if she died... I can't grief, even if I show as if I'm good currently
The 48 laws of power is a good book to read or listen to on UA-cam to regain your power back and understand the human mind.
You describe him 100% ... it’s as if you knew him !
OMG you named it.I met someone I though he is perfect for me.Caring,loving, caring for my kids.Just a few days after a major surgery of mine he left me, eventhough I was really hoping to have him on my side and support me. Untill the surgery we had fun, going to parties, travelling, he even bought a "family car"..he felt somehow inspired by me...when I needed him and was down due to my surgery, after a little conflict he broke up immediatelly, drove me home and that was it. Than he asked if we can stay "friends" and see us sometimes.I said I dont wanna see him ever again in my life. I was only left with questions and I felt really misserable he left me in the worst time of my life just after a big surgery. It was all just a huge lie. I was no fun for him anymore.
I am in bits. Truly. I gave him everything and more. Everything was my fault. Everything. I took him back (again) and abused my trust. It only happened 24 hours ago. I can’t stop crying and feel so very low. But he is okay. Of course. He having a great time today. And I can’t physically move off settee. I feel broken more than ever. Blessings to all.
What about the situation when he doesn't want to discard, and insist to stick to the situation? is a living hell...what is smiling?thank you in advance. 🤗
Audrey, thenit is about you being steadfast in ending it. With narcissists it is often only over when we make that so xooxox
@@MelanieToniaEvans thank you
I never expected to feel like this. It's been 2 wks since he ghosted me in final discard. I've been in therapy twice weekly for 7 mths trying to get out of this mess. Trying to understand what was going on. Trying to put my life together. Now, here it is, the end of it. He's gone. I should be happy. i feel horrible. Ugh.
I was discarded cruelly after she felt like I was on to her BS.. we just met each others family.. it's been 5 months.. it's like slapping the crap out if them will make you feel better. But don't let them pieces of crap make u feel any less about yourself. They are 💩. So they want to make you one.. Learn to love yourself.
Thank you Melanie your video is amazing, I used to feel like I was the only person going through this awful experience,
Discarded when I learned I had got cancer, left to fight it on my own. New supply before I'd even got the stitches removed, unbelievable
Your a great comfort to me. You are wise and beautiful and living prufe that you literally can be dang near perfect and a narcissit still wont appreciate.
Cupsoflove, please know no matter what it is so importnat to be "good enough" for ourslves! Then you will never accept that level of love again xoxox
Wow this is exactly what im going thru
Amazing! I needed to hear this right now. It means all my red flag system working well. It looks like I am being discarded slowly... I know why I was feeling hurt... well, it is very well actually, the worst would be me discarding myself by accepting his games... breaking up and choosing myself, NOW!
It is been two years fighting divorce with a covert narcissi who cheated on me with her lover before and after marriage. The pain and wounds each day for two years!!! This pain, so much for I have endured loving such an evil women!
Your vids are so comforting to hear Melanie. ❤ your accent too hun 😘
They open and trample your deepest (childhood) wounds and then they give you a little bit care so in your nervous system is deeply imprinted that the only way to get some relief is this person!! Thats why it is so hurtful because all wounds open, infected and you´re left alone without getting any relief anymore by this person.
I didn't even get last words from my narc.. he just quit trying. I never got closure and don't think I ever will. It hurts so much.
Yup, the discard is very painful. It's terrible
Thank God for you Melanie and Narp.i have been and still am a Narp member and can highly recommend this program. I can honestly say from the bottom of my heart that Narp has saved my life.Thank you.
Evelyn, I am so happy for you that NARP www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp and this community has helped you so much. Many continued blessings to you xoxo
Absolutely, how he is . One court order and two years on after continued abuse he now apply to change Cort order , to claim every single asset. He is by far the sickest thing I've ever known. Evil through and through and his next supply living in my home has fallen for him hok line and sinker, of cause I'm the crazy ex next door .
Mine became enraged at me and kept saying, "you haven't done enough for me! you should be doing more for me!" We were in a restaurant having dinner, and it was the weirdest thing in the world to now have a plate of food in front of me and knowing this was the actual, final discard. Thank God he broke up with me, but it was terrible and bizarre.
I was very content. What the hell happened?
This was just painful!!!
I was totally unprepared for the experience. It took me 1.5 years to get my emotions back in line.
One day I just suddenly switched from the high speed rollercoaster with Grand Canyon type drops that was stuff of nightmares to one where it felt like someone put wheels on my feet and I could not get off the coaster, no matter how I tried.
It absolutely sucked!!!
When my narcissistic wife left suddenly, she left my world upside down entirely (financially, physically, emotionally and mentally).🤕
Eye opening and so true it is sooo exhausting. the background looks amazing
Really Happy vibes and Australian lol😊