i felt OUT OF PLACE all my life | questioning my sexuality, acne, confidence

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  • Опубліковано 23 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 337

  • @jrperez1286
    @jrperez1286 9 днів тому +72

    This was literally my very first time ever seeing you on UA-cam and i am an automatic follower cause you're ability to talk about your past and how you were strong enough to pull yourself out of a place that you felt you didn't belong and you still thrift into the man you are today is a very special beautiful inspirational thing
    And honestly made me a little emotional cause I kinda went through the same stuff through ages 10 to 16 and i just felt so alone
    But after 6 years i realize that i have to live for me and my happiness not other people's and the people who allow you to do that without questioning your decisions are the true friends and family that you need in your life
    So yeah just wanted to say about to go watch some of your old videos to catch up LOL 😂

    • @Hwaniiee
      @Hwaniiee  8 днів тому +12

      YOU ARE NEVEr alone trust me!! But im so glad you shared that vulnerability from your teenage years because man oh man.. my middle school era was probably my most insecure years ever.. I haven’t spoken about this in my video yet.. because this is my greatest greatest shame growing up.. but I struggled with really bad breath and body odor.. the worst part was I didn’t know why It was happening to me. I ate healthy, I showered almost 3 times a day cuz of it but it never seemed to go away.. until later on in high school I learned what it was that my body was rejecting.. but yes🥲 middle school was rough.!! So I feel you on this❤

  • @SKZ_4_LIFE_2024
    @SKZ_4_LIFE_2024 15 днів тому +354

    I have acne now. Just today my boyfriend randomly told me both my face and personality is the most beautiful thing ever, and just that, meant alot to me because, im a teenage girl, everyone are mean at that age, and I am always called ugly, and that little comment from him, made me cry, it made my day

    • @chickyfelix
      @chickyfelix 15 днів тому +20

      OMG ARE YOU A STAY TOO?! 😳😍😍 also i’m glad you’re bf comforted you i think every one deserves a compliment even guys

    • @StayaDreamer325
      @StayaDreamer325 15 днів тому +8

      You are a beautiful, sweet, strong person STAY, and nothing that anyone says can take that away 💜💜💜

    • @CertifiedCruella
      @CertifiedCruella 14 днів тому +2

      You’re bf is the greatest liar lol 😂😂😂

    • @ze_multistan_Jay
      @ze_multistan_Jay 14 днів тому +2

      hello stay

    • @Kaguraaaplays
      @Kaguraaaplays 14 днів тому +5

      ⁠@@CertifiedCruellaif you’re 10 and you know it, spell liar wrong!
      you must’ve heard that song so many times as you are in grade 3, if not, maybe you should go back

  • @markmushyguy
    @markmushyguy 14 днів тому +175

    Yknow I hate sharing and commenting on videos where the person who made the UA-cam video ignores the heartfelt comments of other people, but I'm gonna comment anyway for the people in chat who need to hear it. I'm 27 years old and I've never felt like I fit in. I've always felt outsiderish. Being afro merican and living in a predominately white area I've always felt too black for the white people to white for the black people. I also have flamboyant tendencies although I don't identify as gay. So it's hard making other guy friends. It's hard when your soul wants connection but you can't seem to find it no matter where you turn. Here's what I want to say to any of you who feel like you don't fit in... Don't worry about trying to fit in. Don't be afraid to be you and stand out. Something that gives me hope and comfort is knowing that if I continue to be me and stand out the people I'm looking for will be able to find me easier. I'm fighting to fix my mindset that social media has ruined. It's okay for your life not to look like everyone else's. As long as youre happy safe and not hurting others or yourself continue to be you and let your light shine.

    • @trinajenkins8486
      @trinajenkins8486 14 днів тому +5

      Keep being you, be open, go out, and experience what lights your soul up in wonder. I have faith you'll find what and who you're looking for soon.

    • @Hwaniiee
      @Hwaniiee  14 днів тому +29

      Wow that was actually so endearing to read❤ I couldn’t agree with you more. I lived in Missouri where just like you, everywhere and anywhere I turned I couldn’t find a place or a friend I belonged.. and it was so devastating. Was I just an outcast, was I not good enough..??? But I learned that when you stick out like a sore thumb, the ppl that are meant to be with you look for that sore thumb and it’s MUCH EASIER to find the person they’re looking for!! So you put it so gracefully and I’m glad I got to read this one❤

    • @markmushyguy
      @markmushyguy 13 днів тому +6

      @@Hwaniiee thank you for responding. It actually really comforted me reading your reply honestly the fact that you understood it by using the sore thumb reference let me know you got it. Thank you for your kindness today 🫰🏾❤️

    • @neiroooooooooo
      @neiroooooooooo 12 днів тому +4

      @markmushyguy man u pulled out the words out of my mouth... it's one of the hardest feelings in the world you know. No matter how hard I try to fit in, I just never could. I always get left out. Sometimes I tend to think I'm only just a bridge of connection to people. Once they're okay, they'll forget about me or at least that's how they make me feel from their actions. They all become closer with each other and then there you are, if you get sad or what about feeling left out, they'd just think you're being emotional... I'm just slowly accepting things as they are. That maybe I only exist for that reason, a "bridge". There goes my sad emotional side again. Anyways, hope things will get better for people like us who feels this way.

    • @markmushyguy
      @markmushyguy 12 днів тому +4

      @@neiroooooooooo dude your comment made me so happy. It's reassuring to know there are people out there who get it. You freaking GOT IT. Often times I journal thinking god legit made me just to be a servant to everyone else, while my own needs and wants are ALWAYS ignored. I don't mind helping other people and being the middle man, but it's like when will it be my turn? I got tired of feeling like a tool for God. Whether God was using me or not it still stings being outsider always looking in from the outside. Not trying to be creepy or cringe maybe one days our paths will meet face to face or something. But in the mean time stay strong and continue to look for what you need. I've been taking the train to the city and doing photography by myself. It's so fun, but pretty soon here I'm gonna start trying to mingle. I know my people are out there and I won't rest until I find them. I hope you find who you're looking for too. Dont give up 🫰🏾

  • @ze_multistan_Jay
    @ze_multistan_Jay 15 днів тому +81

    this is so real in so many ways! thank you for being vulnerable and honest. Learning to embrace every aspect of yourself is hard and i’m still working on it. Thank you for this and helping me love myself! 💕

    • @StayaDreamer325
      @StayaDreamer325 15 днів тому +3

      I luv Moa 😭💜

    • @ze_multistan_Jay
      @ze_multistan_Jay 14 днів тому +3

      @@StayaDreamer325 😭💕💕

    • @Hwaniiee
      @Hwaniiee  14 днів тому +4

      Trust me it’s a struggle!!🥹 and I still have a hard time these days too!! Especially because we all know ourselves too much with every one of our flaws, imperfections, and mistakes.. but here’s the cool thing to remember.. NO ONE ELSE IS PERFRCT😝😝 so there is no standard!! We are all broken in some way, the only thing is how we know that, accept that and still try to live an impactful life!! You got this TRUST ME❤

    • @ze_multistan_Jay
      @ze_multistan_Jay 14 днів тому +2

      @ Thank you 😭💕

  • @katarina5233
    @katarina5233 11 днів тому +45

    My mum is a conservative with everything that usually belongs to it. This includes gay marriage. We were walking outside one day and she suddenly said, “I will accept it if you have a girlfriend.” I was sooo shocked when I heard her say that. I’d not told her by that time that I had been questioning my sexuality. I have to say it felt so good knowing I would be accepted by her. I told her later on I was questioning my sexuality. I turned out to be straight. To sum it up, your mum ALWAYS knows what you’re going through. I was blessed with a mum who would accept me doesn’t matter what.

    • @flimsyenthusiasm5769
      @flimsyenthusiasm5769 6 днів тому +4

      bro my great grandmother told my mom I liked guys in a dream. I got outed in a dream lmao.

  • @evelynmohler2527
    @evelynmohler2527 14 днів тому +25

    Kai, keep being the most authentic self you can be. You sharing your thoughts and videos are amazing and inspiring. Don’t let any one dim your light for you are an amazing person and our world needs more of that. You are a beautiful soul. 😊 be proud of your self. Your make up is on point.

    • @Hwaniiee
      @Hwaniiee  13 днів тому +1

      First thank you for even letting me share such personal topics 🥹 I’m just glad you and everyone here gives me a safe space to do all of this ❤

    • @evelynmohler2527
      @evelynmohler2527 13 днів тому

      @@Hwaniiee❤

  • @flourishwithzel
    @flourishwithzel 15 днів тому +71

    Since you shared, I'm gonna share this with you too. I don't think working in healthcare is good for the long-term. I'm also a nurse here in the Philippines and it really sucked the soul out of me. I reaaally feel you. Almost all my colleagues have already left to pursue other careers. I also shifted years ago and I don't think I'll ever go back to nursing. At least, not in the hospital. Unless this is your ultimate calling, I suggest finding a job just related to it, not just in hospitals/medical facilities.
    And I feel like you're meant to be in the content creation, or anything creative! If it makes you feel alive, pursue it. 😊
    And tbh, your feminine energy makes me think, you must be so sweet, caring and thoughtful and people are lucky to be loved by you! I just wanna go there and hug you! 😊❤

    • @Hwaniiee
      @Hwaniiee  14 днів тому +11

      Hahha thank you for the healthcare advice!! It def is taxing and I’m still trying to find the direction in my life❤❤ pray for me plz 🥹

    • @flourishwithzel
      @flourishwithzel 14 днів тому +2

      @Hwaniiee that is not to discourage you, but just know that we the heroes can rest, too! 🤣 I'd love to pray for you! Rooting for you. ❤

  • @meggiegreen6415
    @meggiegreen6415 14 днів тому +31

    You’re the person I’d love to get a hug from and be friends with. Take it from me the young senior with rosacea etc….who is happily married 35+ years, no kids that you my dear are on the right track. Be kind to yourself. Which thankfully you are now doing. Your aura is so beautiful. Having someone telling you that you’re special helps too! But telling yourself you’re special is key. Most importantly is to enjoy the good healthy days. And stay away from nasty jealous negative people. Be your own success. Hugs, Quebec, Canada ❤

    • @Hwaniiee
      @Hwaniiee  13 днів тому +3

      You’re special, and I’m also special !! You’re so right it’s so important to sometimes VALIDATE ourselves. Society likes to tell us how far we are from the standard whether it’s beauty, career, family but it all starts with telling ourselves we are enough ❤❤

    • @meggiegreen6415
      @meggiegreen6415 13 днів тому

      @ 🤗

  • @Jeongcheoluni
    @Jeongcheoluni 14 днів тому +21

    maybe because i m struggling with making decisions with what i wanna achieve in live or what my dream job is. struggling with being rejected from medical school even after studying extremely hard for a whole damn year. not knowing what to do next . having let down my parents expectations. i had tears watching this . everyone who is reading this , we will make it out successfully .

    • @Hwaniiee
      @Hwaniiee  13 днів тому +5

      you and everyone and me will make it out❤️ and if you have dreams for med school don’t ever give that up. I failed my first nclex the exam for all nurses and it shattered me. But I know with everything in life it’s all baby steps, so take it day by day!! I know you can do this❤

    • @heonbaero
      @heonbaero 12 днів тому +3

      You're still young and have ages, aaaages, to figure yourself out. It's relieving to see the way you're handling it and allowing yourself to break free from what was restraining you. Hope you know that no matter who you discover yourself to be, there will always be someone and there will always be a community to welcome you with warmth. Great video.

    • @Jeongcheoluni
      @Jeongcheoluni 11 днів тому +1

      @@Hwaniiee oh my thank you so much ❤‍🩹

  • @Sayveeon1
    @Sayveeon1 15 днів тому +29

    You are amazing. Thank you for this. I love your videos. Your lifestyle. Everything. You are so motivating. I wouldn’t have gone back to school if I wasn’t randomly searching males in nursing and you were the first thing that popped up. You living in the big city makes me so jealous! But keep up the vlogs and keep being you! You’re amazing

    • @Hwaniiee
      @Hwaniiee  14 днів тому +1

      Wow!! I’m glad you made that choice🥹 you’re taking back your life and that in it of itself makes my day!! You got this❤

  • @PaulaSimpson-b7u
    @PaulaSimpson-b7u 3 дні тому +3

    I’m a big girl, and I’ve gone through my entire life as a big girl. I have PCOS and hormone issues and my weight fluctuates unless I count strict calories. That being said, I’m confident AF and I don’t give a monkeys what small minded people think or say about me. I surround myself with great, diverse people who appreciate me for the person I am as I appreciate them. I spent my teenage years hating the skin I was in, always being the funny fat friend and as I’ve got older I’ve learned to love and accept myself. I’m glad I didn’t grow up in the age of social media as I think young people have it so hard these days. I love the message in this video, we’re not born to be perfect, we’re born to be real ❤

  • @dragonwoodlibra1492
    @dragonwoodlibra1492 9 днів тому +7

    I was going to say regardless of your sexuality, you’re a somebody to someone in your life. Whether it be family friends or someone new to your click enjoy the moments they’re what’s important. I love how open and honest you are, and wish and hope the best for you. You’re stronger than you realise with such a likeable and positive attitude you’ll make many friends along your life’s journey, you also have a charismatic vibe which is bewitching to say the least, so enjoy every moment I look forward to your next chapter ☮️ 💡 ❤

    • @Hwaniiee
      @Hwaniiee  8 днів тому +2

      You’re so right 😝😝 none of it matters really if I can keep a strong attitude and keep the people I love the most next to me❤

  • @ceciliadearmas
    @ceciliadearmas 8 днів тому +3

    You are a beautiful person. Just keep being yourself!😊

  • @grbapkr
    @grbapkr 15 днів тому +29

    Love your vlogs!! Your gf is so supportive 💗 you keep reaching for your dreams ✨️ enjoy having your own space. Your new space seems great!! You're so funny.i love how you have such close friends to be real with and joke around!! Stay yourself always ✨️

    • @Hwaniiee
      @Hwaniiee  14 днів тому +2

      I swear to you without these friends I am NOTHING. They’re the ones that keep me going 🥹🥹

  • @SSadijo
    @SSadijo 10 днів тому +1

    You are an amazing, strong, lovable person. I love to see how you are feeling more comfortable with yourself, like you said ‘what has happened to you in the past, has made you stronger’.

    • @Hwaniiee
      @Hwaniiee  10 днів тому

      ❤❤ everything truly does happen for a reason!! It builds us all into the people we are today 😊

  • @iwillhissatyou
    @iwillhissatyou 15 днів тому +6

    im so proud of you and happy for you. you’re such a kind and gentle soul 🫶🏻

  • @katyschildmeyerksapparelde2441
    @katyschildmeyerksapparelde2441 12 днів тому +6

    It’s okay to question things. It’s like I told my niece… you know the answer when you try things. But you knew what you had to do. And it takes so much courage.

    • @Hwaniiee
      @Hwaniiee  11 днів тому +2

      That courage is within me, YOU and everyone else. We jsut have to unlock it ❤

  • @juliamm305
    @juliamm305 15 днів тому +6

    i have been working all this week and so exhausted so seeing you posted a new video made my day! like i literally told myself, “on my break, gonna be watching this!”
    but this video was a really impactful, not only for you but with me! i have also been scared to show who i am, what i love. i grew not liking my body, my face, and just wanted and wished i could have what my friends had, even relationships.
    seeing who i am now, i still have those scars and they still come to the surface but i learned to accept and always remind myself that something is out there and it starts with me to change who i want to be, do what i love and not care what others think.
    thank you for your content, i love every single one from you videos here, to your posts on instagram! thank you ❤

    • @Hwaniiee
      @Hwaniiee  14 днів тому +1

      Get your rest too❤ you’re working so hard so I’m glad I could make you just even a little bit more happier watching these videos 🥹🥹 but I’m glad you learned to embrace the insecurities and the flaws!! We’re in the same boat!! I still struggle with it day in and day out but the important thing is that I TRY TO embrace it!! Even baby steps hehe 😊 we got this !! Love you! Oh and welcome home ❤

    • @MbabfoIkechukwu
      @MbabfoIkechukwu 9 днів тому

      How are you

    • @MbabfoIkechukwu
      @MbabfoIkechukwu 9 днів тому

      Nice

    • @MbabfoIkechukwu
      @MbabfoIkechukwu 9 днів тому

      I love you ❤️💕

  • @pavelmartinez4617
    @pavelmartinez4617 9 днів тому +3

    You know Kai, I have gone through my own struggles with fitting in, specially as a more feminine guy, however, you have taught me to embrace that side of me. I have been quite insecure of my eyebags for a while but you inspired to start using makeup to cover them and my self-steem thanks you for that

    • @Hwaniiee
      @Hwaniiee  8 днів тому +1

      Oiii🥹🥹 I loved reading this SO MUCH!! You know what thank you for even sharing that vulnerability with me!! Insecurities are insecurities for a reason, but you sharing that is even a STEP FORWARD❤️ you’re amazing and I have things I don’t like about myself too. But we’re in this together and we’ll embrace these things together ❤

  • @NatalieLakin
    @NatalieLakin 11 днів тому +4

    Thank you for making this video. All through my life, I was bullied and was really bad mentally. The norm was being straight , playing sports, being a certain weight. My younger self hated being around people, and until 8th grade, I trapped myself into a bubble and never came out. Now that I'm older, I've noticed I didn't have a strong support system, and that's what I think made me very, very introverted. Im still in the mix of being myself and hiding me. Finding the right people is so hard, and I'm so happy you got to a place where you found them. I know I have a long journey until I'm my fully unapologetically myself. Love your videos, Kai

    • @Hwaniiee
      @Hwaniiee  11 днів тому +1

      First off thank you for sharing such a personal and vulnerable story. It’s never never too late to find your community and our lives are ever changing. If there’s one thing I learned from my experience is that NOTHING is ever set in stone. It just takes finding that one person who can lead to everyone else!! I know you’re amazing, you got this and we’re in on this together ❤❤

    • @NatalieLakin
      @NatalieLakin 11 днів тому

      @Hwaniiee thank you so much, God bless

  • @sindiswamsubo9519
    @sindiswamsubo9519 14 днів тому +5

    this was beautiful congratulations on your new apartment, i have Hirsutism from PCOS and it has turned my life upside down, never thought my life would be like this at age 27

  • @VarietyNicole
    @VarietyNicole 14 днів тому +4

    You're vulnerability in this video is refreshing and so encouraging to the younger crowd, keep doing what you are passionate about!...I'm from Missouri (St. Louis) as well and moving away for college was the best decision ever, being able to experience other cultures and parts of the country has been the best in starting to see what more this world has to offer and small town mentality is not the end!

    • @Hwaniiee
      @Hwaniiee  14 днів тому +1

      Hahah you GET ME!! Yes coming from Missouri we know that feeling that we NEED TO GET THE EFFFF OUT!! I’m glad we did and we found a direction hehe!! Best of luck to your endeavors ❤

  • @Samanthaxvi
    @Samanthaxvi 13 днів тому +5

    Such a beautiful space!! I’m so proud of how far you have come Kai❤️

  • @meganplaylist4460
    @meganplaylist4460 4 дні тому

    I started making myself do a small skin care routine because of you and your determination to help others. I've commented about my crazy life before. And you are part of the reason that I've gotten better at not messing with my acne and pushing through my mental health! It's gotten so much better. I'll watch one of your videos or a short and hearing your positivity helps! Keep going we are all here to support you and support each other! ❤🙃

  • @danaeads919
    @danaeads919 15 днів тому +3

    Kai, you are a wonderful individual who explodes joy from every pore. I wish everyone could be as happy as you are. If nursing no longer meets your needs, I believe you will find the profession that does. I love the huge windows in your apartment.

    • @Hwaniiee
      @Hwaniiee  14 днів тому +1

      Oiiii🥹🥹 that pore analogy actually made my day what the heck ❤❤❤ thank you that was extremely encouraging and inspiring for me to keep working harder 🥹🥹

  • @fantym2
    @fantym2 6 днів тому

    Your courage and strength are apparent. How you look and who you love do not define you. You are beautiful just the way you are.

  • @angelsue365
    @angelsue365 6 днів тому +1

    Omg I love your smile.😊 you radiate all the things we all should feel. Gloriously you

    • @Hwaniiee
      @Hwaniiee  5 днів тому

      You keep me smiling so THANK you!!

  • @gwenlloyd9554
    @gwenlloyd9554 10 днів тому +1

    I am so proud of you. You are, we are all special and unique, wonderful. Keep flourishing. I send you peace, love, happiness, wellness, and safety.

  • @MsValove4
    @MsValove4 9 днів тому +1

    I've been watching you for some years now and I'm proud of the growth. Everything you've been through has paved the way to where you are now. I wish you all the best. You deserve it.

    • @Hwaniiee
      @Hwaniiee  8 днів тому

      Thank you🥹🥹 I’m so happy you were growing WITH me❤❤ this is the most fulfilling part of the journey.. is that I get to do it with you !

  • @bhumika6482
    @bhumika6482 15 днів тому +5

    Kai do what makes you happy
    Coz at the end of the day it's your life either you make it or break it
    Its on you remember that ❤

  • @kyrsg1013
    @kyrsg1013 15 днів тому +11

    can I make a suggestion when you do your skincare routine? bring all of the products down onto your neck and upper chest too, along with your lips! these parts of your skin will benefit from the products too but often get left neglected. thanks for sharing your life with us!

  • @parisnola2695
    @parisnola2695 15 днів тому +5

    Dude, you're so inspiring. God bless you.

  • @jorgevalentin4756
    @jorgevalentin4756 День тому

    Your message will resonate and help others, so thank you for such a beautiful message.

  • @madisonwilliams7263
    @madisonwilliams7263 15 днів тому +6

    I’m a Louisiana native and I want to get out of the south so bad but it’s hard and sometimes scary. I admire your courage!

    • @Hwaniiee
      @Hwaniiee  12 днів тому +2

      Hey if I did it YOU CAN DO IT TOO❤❤

  • @itsmaidenbluee
    @itsmaidenbluee 4 дні тому

    you dont know how much i needed this video right now, this saved me. thanks

  • @jojoNshadow
    @jojoNshadow 6 днів тому

    So glad you came up in my feed! Much needed to hear honesty. The world is missing that.

    • @Hwaniiee
      @Hwaniiee  4 дні тому +1

      Glad this video could be even of somewhat help 🥹

  • @Dallas88888
    @Dallas88888 15 днів тому +4

    The best thing I've ever realized is that 'it's my planet, too'. Thanks for sharing. Hugs...

  • @blancaalves8250
    @blancaalves8250 15 днів тому +3

    Beautiful video. I’m sure you helped a lot of young people. Wish I had someone like you to look up to when I was young. It would have dissolved a lot of the pain I carried around. Thanks for your openness!

    • @Hwaniiee
      @Hwaniiee  12 днів тому

      Thank you for giving me the safe space to be open 🥹

  • @forbg25
    @forbg25 5 днів тому +2

    "Questioniy the sexuality" its just dropped a sudden shock on me ! As soon as i saw i thought Kai is dealing with something and by continuing the video i realised what u really meant and yeah there's alot of diversity which is enhanced and accordingly accepted! Its not compulsory that a real guy should be bulky or 6'9 or should be sporty(what so ever) not about the gender but we should be a good person indeed as you (my hyung!) kai .. we all love the way you expressed your self and frankly speaking you just boosts our esteems by your experience! Thanks for being urself ❤😊

    • @Hwaniiee
      @Hwaniiee  5 днів тому

      Oiiii🥹🥹 when I tel you reading your comment and everyone’s comment here is the REASON WHY I DO THIS❤ it seriously brings ME inspiration and helps me to keep trying to push my own boundaries because yall pour out endless love and encouragement!! So if anything YOU inspire me and I owe you a big hug for it ❤🥹🥹

  • @charlieiscorrect2856
    @charlieiscorrect2856 14 днів тому +5

    I am so so proud of you❤️ I hope I have this character arc in my life 😭 still working on it

    • @Hwaniiee
      @Hwaniiee  14 днів тому

      You got this❤ welcome home 😊

  • @BeckyLaMascus-k7l
    @BeckyLaMascus-k7l 11 днів тому

    This is my first video! I love your attitude and finally not worrying about what others think. I agree skin care is very important. I have a daughter who struggled in her teens and twentys. And very shy. I always told here to be herself. Now she is happy and works on her skin care routine. Thank you for sharing and being honest.

    • @Hwaniiee
      @Hwaniiee  10 днів тому

      Sometimes we get caught up in all the products that skincare market pushes on us, but really it’s just very dependent and all on preference❤ glad your daughter found her routine 😊😊

  • @monicawartman949
    @monicawartman949 9 днів тому

    Be proud of yourself and just be you.
    We are all unique in our way.
    Remember "you are your own competition" - don't let anyone else convince you otherwise.
    The fact that you have a nice young lady by your side, is a plus.
    Everything will fall into place.

    • @Hwaniiee
      @Hwaniiee  8 днів тому

      You’re so right Monica. As long as I’m 1% better than what I was yesterday.. but also even if not yesterday maybe the day before or the week before!! Progress is still PROGRESS at the end of the day❤

  • @mandattje
    @mandattje 11 днів тому

    and I am proud of you for being your unapologetically self! You deserve to be happy!

  • @charlesshorrock
    @charlesshorrock 8 днів тому +1

    I have no idea why your video appeared in my feed, but I think you are adorable. I loved living in NYC also and wish you good health, much love and a long happy life.
    Keep moving forward. You're doing great!

    • @Hwaniiee
      @Hwaniiee  8 днів тому

      Hehehe I appeared for a reason then😝😝 glad you chose to stay❤❤

  • @DiscoMood
    @DiscoMood 5 годин тому

    Congratulations, Kai. You are in the right place.

  • @akaikazeai
    @akaikazeai 9 днів тому

    Takes courage to live with the weight of our expectations and face the not so great part of ourselves. I'm so proud of you and your journey. Sometimes we have to venture outside of the places and social circles we've known to grow as a person. Cheers to glowing older and learning from our younger selves!

    • @Hwaniiee
      @Hwaniiee  8 днів тому

      I think self expectations are THE worst disappointments🥹 especially if we have big dreams for ourselves.. but what I found that helps me is that although having big goals is important for direction and purpose.. that having daily goals that I’m proud of keeps me CONSISTENT. There’s a quote I love by Denzel Washington and he says: without commitment you’ll never start. But more importantly without CONSISTENCY you’ll never finish ❤

  • @heonbaero
    @heonbaero 12 днів тому +1

    Great video. You're still young and you've got ages, aaaaages to figure out who you are. Really relieving to see the way you're handling it and allowing yourself to break free from what was restraining you. Just know that no matter who you discover yourself to be, there will always be someone and there will always a community to welcome you with warmth.

    • @Hwaniiee
      @Hwaniiee  11 днів тому +1

      I love that point you made. I do have AGESSS to figure out what the f*ck it is my life is gonna be about 😂😂 and that’s the beauty of it.. the unknown but dam is it so much better to do this life togehter than doing it alone🥹 so let’s do this you and me and everyone here and all my friends and family ❤❤

  • @kevinjanghj
    @kevinjanghj 9 днів тому

    Kai, you should be comfortable in your own skin no matter what others say. I like that you are so candid about these challenges of mental health and all. I rarely dealt with acne issues, but confidence issues were often affected in my youth because of my own upbringing and religious values which people in my environs could not accept. Love yourself whatever others think. You only have one life and fitting into a mold to please others only makes yourself unhappier.

    • @Hwaniiee
      @Hwaniiee  8 днів тому

      Omg YES I do ONLY have 1 life and I don’t plan on wasting a single ounce of it worrying about if people will not like me.. but shit is that harder to do than saying it😂 but it’s always gonna be a fight 😊❤

  • @ItsAeleen
    @ItsAeleen 15 днів тому +3

    you're an amazing person and thanks for be honest. I love all your video 😊

  • @PamishTopol-kv1rw
    @PamishTopol-kv1rw 14 днів тому +1

    You're such a kind and wonderful person 💛 so happy that I found your channel ❤❤

  • @rebeccarose3785
    @rebeccarose3785 5 днів тому

    I love you Kai. I loved this video and support you for you. Thank you for sharing with us. ❤️

  • @youyouccr3696
    @youyouccr3696 15 днів тому +1

    I missed you Kai 🥹
    I love your vidéos because they're so honest, you're a real safe place, my safeplace forever 🥰

    • @Hwaniiee
      @Hwaniiee  7 днів тому +1

      Welcome back! And that’s all I wanna hear. I did my job if you feel safe here 😊❤

  • @renea5631
    @renea5631 7 днів тому

    I absolutely understand the feeling of suffocating in MO
    Born and raised in NYC.. moved to MO...........15yrs of feeling out of place , Jewish girl from NYC....
    Your beautiful enjoy your life!!!

  • @jeons_juliet
    @jeons_juliet 13 днів тому

    You are just so beautiful and trust me you are also too much beautiful with acne so pls don't be upset it happens and ngl i got so motivated everytime i watch your videos lots of loves❤

  • @jorvalentin
    @jorvalentin 13 днів тому

    Congratulations! So happy that you found your place and thank you for helping others.

  • @davidz1981
    @davidz1981 7 днів тому +1

    I think you are beautiful inside and out not matter what anyone says, be the you, you have always wanted to be, my partner is Asian and I love him so very much. (I have mad Respect for You) keep up the great work and videos!!! ☺️♥️ Don’t let people put you down, stand up for yourself and walk forward with pride and a smile.

    • @Hwaniiee
      @Hwaniiee  6 днів тому

      Thank you 🥹🥹 and you’re right I have to stand up for myself because if I don’t represent myself NOBODY else wil❤

  • @Su-mj1qu
    @Su-mj1qu 8 днів тому

    I luv your newly found positivity towards life Kai💕we don’t always have good days n we don’t always have a life full of highs ….. if it wasn’t for our bad days n low times … we wouldn’t recognise the good days n our highs💕learning to luv n appreciate oneself is the most important luv you can have in a lifetime…. that luv allows you to be the real you💕in the world we tend to worry to much about how others see us … when we should only care how we see ourselves 💕you are growing up well Kai💕👏👏💕’what doesn’t kill us, only makes us stronger’💕Luving the new space by the way💕🫰🫶🥰

    • @Hwaniiee
      @Hwaniiee  7 днів тому +1

      Love ALL THE EMOJIS HEHEH and yes I still stand by your motto.. what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger LETS GOOOO

  • @ryanpartner6161
    @ryanpartner6161 9 днів тому

    What an inspiring attitude ❤ honestly dude I love your videos, you deserve all the happiness. And the apartment looks awesome 😊

    • @Hwaniiee
      @Hwaniiee  8 днів тому +1

      You're the best!❤❤❤

  • @iwillhissatyou
    @iwillhissatyou 15 днів тому

    i love and respect your openness snd vulnerability so much Kai 🙏🏼💗

  • @Rose-sl3rf
    @Rose-sl3rf 13 днів тому +1

    Having acne breakouts can be a pain. I had it bad through teenage years, went on certain strong meds, still got some in twenties. Started getting more again in mid twenties, thankfully it subsided over years especially after I turned 30. I still get occasional pimples, more so if i eat a lot of sugar so I try to avoid to much sweets. After wearing makeup through teens and twenties I find it freeing not to wear any make up these days although I do occasionally. I generally just don't care anymore. It is what it is and im okay with that for the most part.

  • @franciscoalbertoberroamari6190
    @franciscoalbertoberroamari6190 11 днів тому

    We are proud of you! Keep growing to be the best version of yourself ❤

  • @mlem6756
    @mlem6756 15 днів тому +3

    talking bout skincare. recently those numbuzin 5+ serum and toner pad. omg. it make my skin smooth. my acne scars start to fade.

  • @luvfitt
    @luvfitt 12 днів тому

    Aww I’m happy that you found yourself and someone who loves you ❤

  • @jesmysajith9819
    @jesmysajith9819 15 днів тому +4

    This video helped me get motivation ty bro i needed it

  • @NovalynSpheres
    @NovalynSpheres 8 днів тому

    keep just being you. a lot of men love fashion and makeup. the people that have issues with it are scared to leave their boxes. there is nothing wrong with wanting to be your most confident best self. for me its my teeth and weight im struggling with. i have medical issues making my life hard mentally atm, but ik if i trust my doctors and take my meds, keep doing my workout routines while being healthy, ill be myself again over time. i strive to do nothing but selfcare, and show my babies that they deserve to be loved, especially from themselves. the fact that you are choosing to love yourself, even in the open, and online screams how strong you really are. im proud you wont let someone's negativity about themself belittle you or ruin your day. maybe one day they can choose to love themselves too, and become happier. how we see ourselves can be reflected onto others, so im proud of you for overcoming that obstacle! cause its definitely empowering, and gives me a drive to keep pushing for myself! keep shining cause you're beautiful inside and out

    • @Hwaniiee
      @Hwaniiee  7 днів тому +1

      Thank you honestly first for sharing you personal experience on your health and I pray that gets improved❤ and the reason why I’m able to be open like this tho is because you and everyone here LITERALLY are doing this life with me now 🥺🥺 I WANT to share all these things because now I’m not doing it alone. So THANK you for even giving a damn to watch and do life with me❤❤❤❤ beyond blessed

  • @S-np1yj
    @S-np1yj 11 днів тому

    I really needed this as a student going through high school. Thank you so much ❤

    • @Hwaniiee
      @Hwaniiee  11 днів тому +1

      It’s new and everyone is changing and growing and you are too!! Stay firm in what you believe and your morals❤

  • @nancyloeh9532
    @nancyloeh9532 8 днів тому

    You seem like you have a great personality and outlook on life. Hope you enjoy your new place

  • @DianeH2038
    @DianeH2038 9 днів тому

    I'm so glad you're back!!!

  • @susanegbert2155
    @susanegbert2155 7 днів тому

    Sending lots of ❤ I love your content and it's inspiring me as a fellow healthcare peeps to start getting content out there

  • @yeri185
    @yeri185 15 днів тому +9

    Man, the thumbnail is literally so good 👍🏻✨

    • @Hwaniiee
      @Hwaniiee  11 днів тому +1

      Thank you ❤❤ thanks to canva😂🎉

    • @yeri185
      @yeri185 10 днів тому

      @Hwaniiee Yes!! Canva's the best😄✨ I use it too.

  • @anag.torres
    @anag.torres 15 днів тому +9

    thanks for your vulnerability, kai!! it helps others know their not alone in their struggle. i know for me in my 20s also dealing with struggles, Jesus has helped so much. He loves us all so much and wants to help us through our struggles

    • @Hwaniiee
      @Hwaniiee  10 днів тому

      I’m beginning my walk back with Christ too recently!! Been having a lot of anxiety 🥹

  • @Artismyoasis
    @Artismyoasis 14 днів тому +1

    Thank you for sharing your journey! It was quite moving. Definitely struck a chord with me. I moved to Virginia from Northern New Jersey and been trying to plan my move back for similar reasons! As much as I love nature here, it is not the place for me. The environment and expectations of people in the area are vastly different from those up there. I miss the diversity and how real people are.

    • @Hwaniiee
      @Hwaniiee  12 днів тому +2

      if you believe if your heart doesn’t belong somewhere I say believe that feeling. Especially because I went through that with Missouri and as much as people say you can make the best of a situation.. while that can be somewhat true.. sometimes you can just grow out of a place or that place just doesn’t serve you enough anymore.. so with that you got this.. and I’ll be praying for you too ❤❤

    • @Artismyoasis
      @Artismyoasis 12 днів тому

      @@Hwaniiee Thank you so much for the encouragement. I have had a few family members tell me I am crazy for wanting to go back to city life since they love visiting the mountains and farmlands where I now live at, but you are right, it is not serving me enough anymore. It is nice to have someone understand. Thank you. I will keep you and your circle in my prayers as well.

  • @pewpew005-l7u
    @pewpew005-l7u 14 днів тому +1

    im so proud of you, kai

  • @dr.bhakti1986
    @dr.bhakti1986 7 днів тому

    Thanks for sharing...someone dealing with similar situation like me and stilll living the best life seriously motivates me

  • @Harry_shin
    @Harry_shin 7 днів тому

    We must be grateful for all the hardships that we are going through now, in all its forms and types, because these hardships are part of our story that we will tell one day like Kai and how we went through all those hardships, overcame them, and reached our dream and happy place. Always be grateful and thankful. Thank you, Kai for your kind words, your humility, and the wonderful personality you have now. More than a million people love you, and this is one of the awards you received as a result of your patience and diligence

    • @Hwaniiee
      @Hwaniiee  7 днів тому +1

      Yes 1000% correct what you said. Without the valleys there will be no peak to climb. I truly believe it’s the struggles that REALLY shape us into the men and women we are today and in the futur❤ but I’m glad we’re doing this life togehter so we can both GROW STRONG AND MATURE ❤❤

    • @Harry_shin
      @Harry_shin 7 днів тому

      @@Hwaniiee hope god save you and always guide you to the right way 🤍

  • @Sikiru
    @Sikiru 15 днів тому +1

    this was such a good video. holy shit. i loved the vulnerability and confidence!!

  • @RodneyFreeman
    @RodneyFreeman День тому +1

    I'm late. lol Watching this... I just want to say, there's absolutely nothing wrong with you. You seem like a very intelligent, put together, young man. Live your best life. Gay, straight, bi, etc... makes no difference. Just be you. :) Best of luck to you from Missouri! (Branson) and may all your dreams come true!

  • @elighkaineduboisnais3598
    @elighkaineduboisnais3598 3 дні тому

    You Will Find Your Way Just Keep The Faith

  • @johnblaesel5493
    @johnblaesel5493 7 днів тому

    Kai, you shouldn’t feel like an outcast because you seem like a very likable person for anybody!

  • @FooO-w3l
    @FooO-w3l 14 днів тому +1

    You are beautiful in any case. You don't have to wear makeup to feel good about yourself

  • @paulwhitehead6709
    @paulwhitehead6709 День тому

    Acne is related to hormones surges and that why it’s a bigger issue in adolescence. You have grown out of it Kai. Highly unlikely you will have any significant reoccurrences. I loved how u keep ur apartment so clean. That’s speaking my language! Ur better off out of Missouri - full of so-called toxic masculinity (gay boys not accepting they are gay 😅). You’re an inspiration Kai.

  • @alexaviafara.888
    @alexaviafara.888 15 днів тому +1

    everything is going to be alright! we are all rooting for you!
    greetings from colombia!

  • @elijah7764
    @elijah7764 9 днів тому

    Wow, your video really encouraged me. Thank you so much!

  • @rimabasu6606
    @rimabasu6606 10 днів тому

    Hey...buddy be yourself who your are...love yourself and universe gonna love yourself back❤

  • @sonyatv7463
    @sonyatv7463 13 днів тому

    I love your skin it’s so beautiful ❤❤ thank you for sharing this video 😊

  • @sirgideonofnir87
    @sirgideonofnir87 2 дні тому

    Dude you are gorgeus and funny and you are feeling out place? then what can we simple mortal expect from life then? You are healthy and have an amazing smile! Just keep smilling and trying! cheers!

  • @BenazirMarkey
    @BenazirMarkey 7 днів тому +1

    I had cystic acne on my neck, chest, and back as a teenager. I remember going to a pool party, where a girl saw my skin, gasped, and asked me "What happened to your back?!" She didn't realise acne could look like that. I still have mild-to-moderate acne on my face/chest/back to this day aged 24, but I am also totally covered in pitted and raised acne scars. I've just accepted that this is the skin I have, and just do the best I can to manage it, which I know, and have accepted, will never mean having entirely clear skin.

    • @Hwaniiee
      @Hwaniiee  6 днів тому +1

      This is soemthing I always remind myself when I see my pigmentation and marks, is that.. NOBODY.. and I repeat NOBODY has perfect skin! We all have skin texture and scars and that’s not to say what we went through and still go through with acne is any less of a trauma or a hardship but it’s just to remind us that there is no STANDARD❤️ that rather thinking about perfect skin, if we take care of ourselves and love our skin the goal is to have HEALTHY skin✨🥹 I hope that could resonate with you ❤️❤️

    • @BenazirMarkey
      @BenazirMarkey 5 днів тому

      @@Hwaniiee I definitely agree! My goal is just to keep my skin healthy and my acne to whats normal for me

  • @prettyflower999
    @prettyflower999 13 днів тому +2

    Your mic positioning was very creative!

  • @bananana_bread
    @bananana_bread 14 днів тому

    Seeing you put on all those skincare product and serum at one go is diabolical😅 Please enlighten us all with what you use and a stepbystep for day and night routine if possible❤

  • @jeniromero1949
    @jeniromero1949 12 днів тому

    Aww there you are sweetie. I've missed you Kai. Tbh, I honestly don't believe that pimples will ever go away unfortunately. Because at the age of almost 57 years old, I'm still getting a few every now and then. But I don't let them get to me anymore. I just use my makeup to cover it up lol. It's really nice to see you feeling so happy, and looking so healthy my dear. Just keep on doing you darling 😘
    Sending you warm hugs and love my sweet friend. Also hello to your gorgeous girlfriend 🙋‍♀️

    • @Hwaniiee
      @Hwaniiee  12 днів тому +1

      You are so sweet for even sharing this personal experience 🥹 but like I said thank god no one is perfect!! And we’re both fighting acne together then!! You and I are never alone in this ❤

  • @chantellrichters2446
    @chantellrichters2446 8 днів тому

    Good for you. You need to make yourself happy before anything or anyone. Good luck with your life in New York. I wish you nothing but the best. Sending hugs n kisses from Australia 💞🥰🐨

  • @Panadox
    @Panadox 11 днів тому

    I decided to randomly watch this video and it just made me realize how bad of a place i am in mentally rn. I live in a super religious conservative area of the world and self expression is basically impossible for me at least. Guys love sport, cars, or wtv else it is and i never shared any interests with anyone and i cannot wait to be able to leave and just go somewhere where i can be myself. Yet there is a huge moral dilemma which is that there is still a part of me that will feel so heavy if i actually end up doing it, because i love my family sooo much but they would probably disown me just knowing what my interests are including my sexuality so atp i just feel hopeless.

  • @moodyga40
    @moodyga40 14 днів тому

    skin care is great looking after your self is fabulous

  • @Unyok10
    @Unyok10 10 днів тому

    Try Paula’s choice the gray one with 2% bha it helped me a lot and I still use it as a maintenance. I rarely get pimples now.

  • @thatvietguyonline
    @thatvietguyonline 14 днів тому +1

    The mic on the straw was pretty creative ngl

  • @engine890
    @engine890 5 днів тому

    I love talking to people about anything...

  • @nengneikimhaokip8860
    @nengneikimhaokip8860 11 днів тому +1

    Tbh u r who you are u don't have to question yourself about your sexuality you r wat you are

  • @larryssaquaresma318
    @larryssaquaresma318 11 днів тому

    Meu deus... eu amo tanto assistir os vídeos dele 😭❤

  • @robertholden4586
    @robertholden4586 7 днів тому

    I’m so happy when I see people achieving their dreams and living where they truly belong. Unfortunately for me I’m stuck in a small town, with small minded people who only perpetuate hatred, false information and ignorance. I help raise my niece and I would do anything in the world for her; that’s why I’m unfortunately stuck here because this is where she needs to be and we cant move (for so many reasons). I probably will never find a love but who knows. Not many gay men in a small town, let alone gay men that want it to be known they are gay. It’s fine I’m learning to deal with the fact that some dreams don’t come true for everyone. I’ll be in my forties by the time I can move and by then I don’t even know. Just extremely happy for you and hope you and yours are happy and healthy! 🤟🏽💚💕🧿

    • @robertholden4586
      @robertholden4586 7 днів тому

      4:43 NYC was always my dream and will always be my dream city to live in.

  • @Buggaboonetteyt
    @Buggaboonetteyt 15 днів тому +2

    I appriate this video I can relate omg thank you and I appreciate this up and personal content