My own mother is the textbook example of what you say! Inter generational trauma is a phenomenon that many people take for granted and ignore. And then, when the triggers or situation arises, they realize way too late. I will never let my trauma (adapted and socialized by my family) pass onto my unborn children.
@@thehealthpromotion7024 That’s basically at the root of arguments against teenage pregnancy- that children are not cost effective. Unfortunately, western culture places a large value on money and power. It’s not designed, at least in its present iteration, to promote a quality of life for any sentient being.
Good for you, it's the best decision I made in my life, and because of it I have a lot of free time (to pursue my hobbies) money and peace of mind. I love the time I can spend with my husband, we go out everyday, we travel a lot, I lived in 4 countries...there is only a regret about having a childfree life...that is I cannot have at least 10 childfree lives.
You put it so well. They just have several kids and only AFTER realize how expensive kids are and how much energy it takes to raise them well. And because they know they are bad parents they grow angry
It is not full of suffering. You are spitting in the face of the people who lived before you. You probably live in the first world saying that kind of thing. Suffering makes the strong the strong, and without it we would be a bunch a lazy blobs living for our own material gain. That's way more dangerous than what most English speaking countries have to go through on a daily basis.
@@mochilover7053 there is still suffering in the first world. Health conditions, abuse, rape, sickness, murder, etc. Acute stress can make you, but the traumas of life can break you.
@@cherrymilk5590 Those things have always existed, but lesser so now. Yet, they never were a reason to not have kids up until now; when everything needed to be perfect to raise a child.
If that was the case, atheists, who have the lowest birth rates and are therefore going extinct, would also be the ones that participate most in social programs, donate the most, and help out the most during catastrophes. But according to numerous studies, it is Christians with high birthrates that are doing that far more frequently. I do like the idea that you guys are essentially advocating for your own extinction. Kind of funny actually. Also, population growth is set to reverse until 2070, so really, you're just shooting in your own foot.
I'm 27 and I never plan on having kids. Life is hard enough as it is. So I'd rather focus on myself, my hobbies, my passion, and my happiness. Parenthood is not for me.
@@thecelticdruid.6681 aww somebody is butt hurt because they had a child instead of a life. Your in denial. Fyi it's extremely selfish to have a child that didn't ask to be born because and I quote "they look cute".
@@palomaschannel LOL, not in the least bit jealous, I have no regrets about having two loving adorable children that I have bonded with, so much more than I could with a friend or an animal. I have had my life, and my freedom and have settled down, for those who think they can carry on wanting more freedom are just greedy self obsorbed . My children are older now got my freedom back and it's all been worth it. Child free people miss out on that special bond a mother and daughter has, a father and son. I have been blessed, I have joy in my life, what's there to be jealous about? Now I challenge you to come back with something at least intelligent!!
Andrew Dexter Between Someone who gives birth to children so that THEY can take care of him or her when at their old age VS someone who doesn’t want to have children because they have a life of their own to accomplish and live thus not depending on anyone. Tell me this, who is much more selfish between the two? Who really is the selfish person?
I wanted children to create a happy family that I didn't have. But just last year. I've become more mature and healed from the past. And now me and my wife agreed that we don't want kids.
Beautiful comment. I've met a number of parents who thought they can fix their past issues, or their current relationship problems, by having a kid, or several. Surprise, surprise, it seldom ever works.
To bring a child into the world takes planning, responsibillity, wisdom, love, patience, sacrifice, maturity, disapline. Compassion and selflessness. Something child free people lack, but respect is a must and we must respect their choice. I was once child free, but I felt something was missing.
@@thecelticdruid.6681 so, you've just insulted everyone who is child free. That's called hypocrisy. You might want to concentrate on finding some of the qualities you've just insisted child free people don't have in yourself instead? Rather than start describing groups of people you don't know in this way.
@@thecelticdruid.6681 I have all those qualities. Married 18 years too. Baby fever never hit me and so I never wanted kids. I'm 37. And also, when you become a parent, you're a parent until the day you die, not until you're child turns 18. I have so many people saying. "It's only 18 years." That's the dumbest comment ever. Kids are never ending. Even if you have kids at a young age and your kid turns 60. That is still your child. Children will always be children to their parents, no matter their age. I'm 37. My Dad still calls me his "little girl" because I'll always and forever be his "little girl", even when I turn 50. And as for selflessness, I would die for a child I don't know to ensure that child's safety. I just never had a desire for children.
@@thecelticdruid.6681 STOP saying you were "childfree" once. NO, you weren't. Childfree people NEVER have children because it's a choice they made. You are a parent.
Children deserve parents who've done their healing. A 100% true. Both my parents had difficult childhoods and am not being ungrateful or anything, but I've found myself being a "therapist "to them listening hours on end to issues from their childhood and it never got reciprocated. I designed my life in a way not to trigger them or cause them pain that most of the time I end up feeling empty. Now, I don't have enough energy to deal with my own children that am dealing with unsolved issues of my own.I don't think I would want children.
Good point. I sometimes feel regret that I didn’t have kids. But like you my parents used to me resolve their unresolved trauma from tgeir childhoods. I became their therapist and tgey never had the headspace to deal w my problems. Ended up trying to sort myself out for years. Def not a great place for a child asI would problably not be there for my kids. Kids really need parents that can provide emotionally, maturely, and financially. If you have lots of issues you will def re-enact them out on your kids. I grew up hating being in this world and suffering from a young age.
@@blackcurrantpop am sorry to hear that you had a similar experience. In my teens leading upto my college, I've tried to play the same therapist to other people around me until I hit a curb and could not go on any further. Am healing now. Hope you find peace and happiness. Sending love,good luck 👍
I totally agree with this man 100 percent. Why have kids so they can suffer and go through pain and sorrow. Besides there are too many bad parents anyway.
And plus - in the end your kids will die. All I can think off is that my child will die! Isn't it the most tragic thing ever? Other people would say - oh it's the law of nature, everybody will die... but that doesn't really help it!!!
I don't agree. My wife and I did therapy before we met and got married and it made us a thousand times better parents. I know our family has positively influenced other parents around us in ways we will never know. In the early 1960s when I was born nobody talked about sexual or emotional abuse. Segregation was still legal. So much has changed in my life. Consciousness is expanding.
@@ResidenceEvil45 lmao so your supposed to enjoy all the benefits of life. Good and bad. Whereas they susposed to go into the toilet i get you 🙂. Do you really die when you pass on your knowledge. You don't even know if you're kid(s) will be the people to solve world hunger or bringing the world together in unity. You don't know but already decided that its life will be shitty and sad maybe because of how your life was doesn't mean your kid will share your fate. Smh this guy in the video, his reasons are poor as f. Its a good thing he is not pass on this bad advice to others oh wait he is and you guys are eating it up smh.
I think it comes down to ignorance. Many who choose not to have children have opened up their eyes to the horrific problems of our planet and how those problems are our responsibility, ours to blame. (Having children in a pandemic?!?!) People will also say they knew real love for the first time when they held their baby in their arms - what a sad existence! I have known the deepest of love ever since I met the first bird I’d feed every day as a small child! The love for animals, nature, goodness only grows and grows - without adding life to it.
@@KudaMan True. But that's not the point. She was talking about the sadness of "being in love" only after holding an unborn child in your arms. The fact that you live 20-30 something years and you never experienced that feeling, its a sad existence. You can find love by learning to love yourself.
No one has a child for the contentment of a being they don't know. WE CHOOSE to have a child to satisfy OUR own needs - this within itself is a self serving act.
I never wanted kids and didn't have them. It seemed so unappealing to me. All of my sibs did and every family get together was void of adult conversation. My parents did take out their unresolved issues on us and they were winging it, like most people. I'm sure that played into my decision but I wasn't fully conscious of it. I had too much pain to work on at the time, and was very aware of it. I too, like kids but prefer German Shepherds.
Animals are a poor substitute for a child, they may have their own way of showing love by affection but they can't talk and say "I love you Dsd/mum", when they say that it's a job well done and all the pain and sacrifice was really worth it in the end. A dog has a short life span, a child is a life time!!!
@@thecelticdruid.6681 I agree, kids are a job. A lifetime commitment. Too many people have them without thinking or being prepared. I'm glad I chose dogs. It was a very conscious choice. I may have been a good mother because I've been through therapy and am well educated, etc. But I never really desired it.
@@mrmaclovin255 LOL !!! Here you are again. If what you say is true why am I so incredibly happy most of the time? Why do I have joy and happiness in my life, why do I feel so much happiness to see the delight on our children's faces on Christmas morning?. You are only see the negative side to it as you have not experienced the the positive side to it. I strongly feel I would've failed as a human being if I didn't produce children, or if I hadn't been there for them, spent quality time with them,.............what have you achieved Mr Arthur Morgan ? (LOL)
I'm 41 and never had children and I just can't bring a child into this world. I agree with you that the earth is overcrowded and to bring a child into this absolutely miserable world would be a tragedy.
I agree! And it's deteriorating rapidly. I just think - how many times I was offended by other small minded people and unfairness of life... that I just don't want anybody else to experience the same!!!
@@mistersmith265 well with the current pandemic overpopulation isn't a problem anymore. Especially with all those slow Americans.if he doesn't want to have children with an American i totally get that because they aren't too bright.
@@penlavits3305 Or maybe he just don't want kids. Ever thought about that? Just because someone is in a loving relationship doesn't mean they have to add kids to it.
Our culture glorified having children, especially your own biological ones, which I find is wrong. Women are under a lot of pressure to « procreate » or they feel as though something s missing. We need to change our culture and respect people who wisely choose not to have children. Another sensible option is to foster or adopt those that are already there and crying out for love and care.
Yeah That's my point we shouldn't argue on people not having kids like my family my aunt doesn't want kids cause they have us and it's not bad to have kids either their decision is important
I belive that telling somebody they are not wise because they had a children, is just as rude and disgusting as to tell their kid that he shouldnt exist because he is a waste of space and resourses. I don't know if that is what you were trying to say but just as you can decide to not have any children, people can decide to have them, and there is nothing wrong in choosing that.
@@vicentezegers1181 yes there is something very wrong with that... why? Because all reasons for having children biologically are inherently selfish. You cannot debunk this truth. It is morally wrong as well to bring a life into a world of suffering and inevitable death without their consent. All people who breed are sociopaths.
The reason to have children, as I see it, is for making more of attractive, beautiful, and inspiring people, if that is you to begin with, and, the matter of heritage,…. who do you want to make for the future of the world. Racial and ethnic heritage is something to appreciate, and that goes for all types.
adopting will encourage people to have more children ... it looks like a solution but it's not ! think about it twice ... with your mind and not with your heart !
I'm 34 and just love not having any kids, they take up your money and freedom, most of my mates all have kids and deep down I know they wish they didn't
A lady once told me ‘ Go explore, travel. Don’t abdicate your dreams for someone else, regardless of who they are. The right person will live your dreams with you, not take them away.’ And she’s so true. I’m not completely taking away the option of being a mother but I’m considering all the pros and cons and honestly, if I am to have children I’d rather adopt children who need a loving home. And even then, only if I’m completely mature emotionally, as I come from an abusive household and developed PTSD and depression due to it. I would rather focus on my career and explore the world before anything. Also, you’re so right! My bs ‘parents’ constantly brag about being the best when they only berated me, controlled me and never cared. Which is why I cut ties and trying to live my life as I want it to be.
This "sounds" like a good idea, until it isn't. You're not exactly OLD so those thoughts an older person has, hasn't reached u yet. Maybe u didn't think about it actually. Once a person gets to the point where it's actually said they can NOT have children anymore, this is when they comit self trashing from childhood abuse and trauma. The risk of pregnancy is now gone so they relax on it. Furthering their problems.whike ending up utterly ALONE. alone sounds good until it doesn't. Then it's too late. An old lady smelling like cat urine and an unkept house bc she just gave up.
@@NE0Nwhip I actually DID that tbh 13 years. I raised them from age 7 to 21. They grew up and wanted to go and experience life as an adult. Had ALOT of good times and memories honestly.
I was severely abused by my mother as a child, so I never had children because I was afraid I would abuse them; especially because I love children. I love your courage.
I do not want children for these exact reasons. I had a vasectomy recently to be sure of that, and my girlfriend doesn't want kids either. Should I ever want to raise a child, I can always adopt. We have enough children in the system that need help, that it almost seems selfish to bring one into the world.
In the nicest possible way your genes aren't strong enough to survive. A person who biologically wants children must have better genes than someone who doesn't. I'm not talking about someone who wanted kids but never found someone i'm talkng about someone who refuses to have them when the can.
The parents of those children who need adoption didn't think like you do and you are solving their problems. You can be all altruistic but it's selfish assholes breeding whose kids you are adopting.
Since I was 17 I knew I didn’t want to have kids. Now I’m 23 and so glad because I am definitely not changing my mind. The world is simply fucked up I hate the fact that I was born why would I bring another soul.
Having the same thoughts as you. If strangers have no qualms dictating that you are wrong for not breeding, then I don't ever want to bring kids into this world knowing they will definitely face the same thing.
Your about 25 now which is still very young. I'd just ask you do you think that you will ve happy without kids? If you live to 100 what are you going to do with your life without kids? How are you going to find meaning? I know you see this differently to me.
@The Squad Does your BF know you feel this way? Sex is a very important part of a relationship, especially to men. (Despite what he may have told you) You should desire him all over you. Try and get help for this issue. I can only speculate why you feel this way OCD, past truma, didn't grow up with a brother or phobia. Issues with you being impregnated are a symptom of a wider issue. To 'solve' this you could inject yourself with his swimming team. But you have wider problems.
The most important reason: Life is suffering. You can avoid a huge amount of struggle by simply not creating a new suffering person. No one is harmed by not being born, whereas most people are harmed by their parent's selfish act of forcing them into existence. #Antinatalism
For a self healing channel, people really seem to have a negative outlook on life. Life is suffering, but is it really only suffering? Would you really be here still today if that's all that life is. Why do so many people participate in this one in akind phenomenon we call life if it is really not that worth It? I've been through my share of struggle and suffering to the point where I wanted to end it. In the end, I realized how thankful I am that my parents gave me life no matter what Iv been through. I know many people that have been throu way worse than I have and feel the same. If you really feel that existing is not worth the struggle, then I would strongly urge you to seek help.
Sadie Brubaker - You wrote, "Life is suffering, but is it really only suffering?". No suffering. Life should be about NO suffering. The fact that it is shows life and the human condition is beyond flawed to the point of being evil. Stop justifying suffering, it is never justified. You went on to ask, "Would you really be here still today if that's all that life is". Yes, for two reasons: 1) a built in survival instinct that is very strong, 2) because of a fear of death that most people refuse to admit too. Then you asked, "Why do so many people participate in this one in akind phenomenon we call life if it is really not that worth It?". They do for the following reasons in order: 1) an optimism bias which is sophomoric and irrational. 2) a genetic predisposition to breed. 3) Ego and pride, racism and tribalism/CULTure. Animals that breed, eat, and crap are simply doing what their animal instincts tell them without being able to reason or see the big picture. Humans have no excuse to continue breeding. None. This is not about being "happy" or sad or liking "life' or hating it. Don't be simplistic.
@@gnostictruth1599 If this is not about being happy or hating life then what makes you think that life should be about NO suffering. And you make alot of valid points, none of which really prove that people should stop having children tho. If this channel is about self growth, then a very valid reason for people to have families is for that. Having children is a very natural part if the human journey. It gives alot of people an actual meaning to life. It motivates people to take their proper place in society. Life is meaningless without responsibility, and alot of people find it in having babies. The family structure is very important to modern civilization and we can't just ignore that fact. Also, saying that life should be about NO suffering seems very simplistic. Whether I was generalizing suffering or not (which I wasn't) it is over optimistic and sophomoric to think that not having kids is the solution to end suffering.
I think most people have kids because they're brainwashed from Day One that it's what you're supposed to do. There are so many things a person can do with their lives! And it's obvious today that the kids are getting the sh*t-end of the stick because there are so many "adults" that want so much, and therefore, both have to work, and the kids get forgotten. It's damn sad.
@ Yes! Because the society tells you to do that - even if you haven't met your true love - you have to do that! And just because it's convenient for the government - they just want you to get married, have kids and work 3 times harder to support your wife and family. Are you 30? Why aren't you married? - they say...sounds so judgmental!
@Simon5005 It's not that they are brainwashed it's THEIR decisions and if we are not gonna have kids or our parents don't even want kids then the rest of us are not even in this world we don't exist if it weren't for our parents choosing to have kids and my other brain agrees and my other brain doesn't
I'm 38 and i have no children. I agree with everything in this video. My parents were some of the worst examples. They are the type that i wouldn't wish any kid on.
@user-qo2bs1kx5f Multiple reasons. I don't feel the need. I don't want to give up my freedom. I know it seems selfish but it is what it is. Narcissism runs deep in my family.. I don't want the parental responsibilities. Way too expensive. I don't take the best care of myself let alone someone else. Child support and custody laws and hypocrite laws that are one sided towards women and screws men.
Best video I ever watched. Having children in this day and age is one of the most selfish things an individual could do when thinking about all of the things that you mentioned on top of racism, sexism, oppression, poverty and inflation. There are so many factors that makes child-bearing or progeneration a selfish act.
Same here man. Better to remain single and take this advice in mind: "Be like Achilles. Don't be Leonidas". Basically fight for yourself and your life.
I'm 40 years old and been happily married (yes, really) for almost 20 years. My husband is a wonderful person - incredibly intelligent, kind, witty and understanding. AND very very patient. I love children dearly and work with them. Of course I've been asked if I have kids NON-STOP for half of my life. NO, I don't, and I never will. It sounds really strange coming from a woman in a very stable marriage who loves kids that she has no intention of having children, but there it is. I do sometimes wish that I wanted children, simply for the sake of passing on my husband's genes because of how amazing he is and feel like it's sort of a waste to not have kids with his genes, but we've both agreed that children won't be in the picture. There's an enormous pressure on me to have kids, also, because I'm an only child. I can't stand it when people cut me off in the middle of a discussion when they ask me if I have children and I say no, with "Well, you can't possibly understand..." BS. Don't go there. Don't ever use that on me, because it really is BS. I always hear people, especially mothers say "I didn't know what it was like to (insert some emotion/feeling/revelation here) until I became a mother." - oh, really??? Because I was all of those things back when I was a CHILD. You mean, you didn't think of, or feel those things until you were in your THIRTIES??? Wtf were you doing with your life???
So you think being kid lets you know what it is like to be a mother? There are huge biological factors in motherhood and yes although I am sure you understand broad picture of parenthood, but you can't possibly fully understand what it is really like to be a parent. But I get that it is really annoying when people constantly remind you that, not very nice of them especially when you understand that it is kinda true.
I really don't want you having kids. Please don't you probably have fat people's genetics or cross-eyed somethings..... Or just use kids for welfare...... Please do not have kids then if you think of them as burdens. We were all once kids. My husbands mother has had abortions before him and after he was born. He is elated and grateful to be alive . I am 29 right now. I would gladly have my kids take care of me when I'm old and decrepit. Better than being physically/sexually abused at a nursing home. Most elderly abuse at nursing homes go unreported
One observation that has always fascinated me is the number of parents that don’t enjoy the company of their own children, or even children in general. 😢 And for sure, children are not dolls that you can put back on the shelf when you’re through playing with them. God Bless the vulnerable and defenseless among us, children and adults like.🙏❤️
I made the decision not to have kids at 11 years old. Not because of overcrowding, but because the modern world is toxic - and i don't believe children deserve to be brought into a toxic world.
It’s normal to think as a parent that your children are your investments and will pay off when they grow up. That is a shitty mentality and to them I say DON’T HAVE KIDS!
70 per cent of people i know/met aren’t qualified to have kids.... u need high level of intelligence, commitment, sheer will, financial stability, and freakin’ lots of time to spare... these are just the basics U might think “mmm then u want only a segment of the population to have kids?” Yes, karen. I want that. I’m pretty sure many kids/adults would agree with me
Only the most capable should have offspring. I've been saying (thinking) this for years. Another very unpopular opinion. But I'm happy I am not the only one who thinks this.
I agree with that as well. This maybe a bit (or a lot) out there, but I think a lot of bad parenting (and bad parents in general) is the result of too much influence from the lower brain (lizard (instinctual) and animal (emotional) parts) when it comes to decision making. My idea: create some brain implant(s) to increase activity in the cerebrum (more rational part of the brain) to help with human evolution through technology. Break the cycle, rise above nature, focus on Transhumanism!
1,000%! Population needs to be taken into more consideration than as an afterthought. After all, 1950’s suburbia never considered what would happen when population explosions affect a town/city. And it’s far better to have a human population based on higher quality of life WAY MORE than quantity of people.
If you don't want children thats ok, but don't say that people that do have children don't have common sence. Is because of people that choose to have children that we havent gone extinct, and I care more for humans than for nature so I dont care if we use space that animals could use.
Your the man Daniel. Parents love to push a narrative that puts them in the best possible life. The reality is that the majority of parents are unfit for the role and are doing it for themselves, not the child
I´m 21 and I know I never want kids. I have about 100 reasons and I agree with all of these. I´m living with my spouse, our life is so great: all the free time, good sleep and peaceful home. I feel like I´m growing as a person all the time.
Having a child simply becuase you "want to" is so obviously selfish. Any sentence that involves the words "I want" is said by someone trying to serve a desire or need of thier own. Period.
Some people say it’s been selfish not wanting kids… it’s like they want a medal for helping someone that they created to have someone to help. Selfish is bringing someone into the world so you can have your meaning but very much creating the same existential problem to kids. I brush the leaves of my garden, the throw them to my neighbors garden and telling them “if you want the problem to go away, just throw it over the next fence. I have a problem with the argument that love is stronger than pain, because you can only know how strong a rock is by smashing it, so where is love when you put it to the test? Where is love when a kid becomes orphan after witnessing men with weapons raping and killing its entire family in front of their eyes? Shall we say to the kid, remember that you have “Love”.
Agree! It is so hard to talk to a parent who thinks he's a perfect parent. They are totally blind and think their kids are somehow guilty for their own misery.
"It is so hard to talk to a parent who thinks he's a perfect parent. They are totally blind and think their kids are somehow guilty for their own misery." BOOM! SO TRUE! The fact that breeders have no logic proves that breeders have NEVER done anything hard in their lives, that it is a MYTH that parenting is a "difficult" "job". FUCK political correctness.
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@@Jackjunkie hahah!
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@@Jackjunkie of course, there is direct action to portray as well. Do you still not understand my comment?
My parents are prime examples of people who present as “normal”, but neither one of them is mentally fit. They’re both extremely selfish, angry & narcissistic. No surprise- they’re boomers..
I was conditioned from a very young age that I would grow up, get married and have kids. I'm so thankful that it didn't happen that way and I'm grateful for this video. Too many people have kids because they enjoy the idea of having mini versions of themselves running around... I consider that to be a pretty shitty reason! haha - thanks Daniel. Stumbled across your work through the wormhole of the internet re: tapering off my meds (which I'm beginning in May) Thanks for your wonderful and arresting insight. Cecilia
The last thing I want in this world is a mini version of myself. I see so many people complain about themselves, their lives and then they bring mini me's into this world
Four years later I spot your comment "Mini me"'s"? You clearly don't know children well, children develop their own identities and interests, I don't share a lot of interests with my son, my daughter never got into action man toys simply because I liked them.
Me either, my husband and I decided to live our own life without kids. The only thing hard to deal with those elder people (not my parents) force us to have a baby just because the marriage coup needs to do that.
My beautiful 28 yr old daughter has been saying that for years. I finally accepted it and I’m good with it now. I want my daughter to have freedom to do whatever she wants! She loves learning and helping others. Having kids would only weigh her down. She plays the piano and she loves to compose music and she also loves her times of solitude when she needs it! I totally agree with you! Thanks for being so honest. I finally heard someone other than my daughter who feels the same way!
I couldn’t agree more. That’s exactly the way I feel. I’ve been called selfish plenty of times for not having kids. Yet the very people calling me that have children and are horrible parents. And yes my parents are narcissists and psychopaths, and were awful caretakers. Since they’re so arrogant they have convinced themselves that they were the best parents ever. I think I’ll pass on bringing a child into an overpopulated planet full of solipsism.
That's so sweet. I certainly aim to be less selfish, and more kind and brave. I guess in my 20's I realized that since I did not get to have a childhood and develop a healthy sense of self/identity, I was going to use my early adulthood to discover my real identity. Which often gets deemed as "selfish" by the biggest narcissists with in a family-unit and/or group of childhood friends 😆. As I'm sure you as well have put a lot of thought and care when considering having children 😇.
And surprisingly these are usually the same people who don't recycle, are climate change deniers... You would think they would want to fix the planet for their kids and grandkids. As Daniel said in another video, in 20 years' time, the Earth is going to be a scary place to be... and we can't emigrate to another planet or to a space station!
Actually HE DOES NOT REALLY KNOW WHAT HE'S TALKING ABOUT... Marvin Simpleton... :) Hehehehehehe... Read my comments, btw, and comment if you may... Let's see if you can score points with both your views... Joseph theVagabond, VIVA, Ecclessia Catholica! Vive, benedixitque Deum, familiae!
not exactly i want want kids im not afraid to die alone actually im not afraid to die at all i just want to live a long life and i want to adopt but i do agree some bitches out here really be that selfish though. I do wish people were just more good overall and more open minded to the concept of not wanting children because to be frank some people dont need kids. anyways much love have a splendid day.
@@haritikanand8502 i mean i would say narrow minded because some people only have kids to pass genetics or to see what they would look like but i would say that it is not true that most people only have kids to pass genetics because that is generalizing a group and is similar to saying something like most white people are racist. Its not true its just generalizing a group into a stereotype
If you want kids great but before you decide to have one of your own , also decide to adopt a child who has no parents . Then you do something incredible for humanity.
Does that not encourage the irresponsible ? They can keep procreating with no care about what happens if they get pregnant? If everyone were to do this, we would have a society of irresponsible biological parents, who give up children at birth, and no "genes" from any responsible parents being handed down!
When I have said to my friends that one of the reasons why I don't want to have kids is overpopulation they laugh at it and said what difference will make one kid. Plus I don't consider myself so special that I need to pass my genes. I'm 32.
This why I'm so grateful my father was older when I was born. Im now 19 and my father is 67. My mother is 50. I have seen throughout childhood my mother being a complete child when it comes to things. Lashing out, emotionally unstable, it was only within the last 2 years that I was able to be around my mom and feel secure. My father on the other hand has always been that way. I have never heard my dad cuss or lash out. He's never laid a finger on me in terms of punishment. If it were not for my father I wouldn't be the women I am today. The funny thing is that my mother grow up in a nuclear family were as my fathers childhood was in short, horrible. Dont have kids if you haven't dealt with past issues. While my fathers past often saddens me, I'm incredibly grateful he actively choose to move though it before having a child.
I like your story and I think it is wiser to advise people to have children when they are older than to abandon the idea of children altogether. Some people will want to have families, humanity will still continue. But it's up to us to ensure it continues in a positive direction by fostering maturity and being honest with ourselves re: is it right for me?
There are 153,000,000 orphans in the world. Can “parents” maybe start there?? Or is it all about YOU and YOUR experience? Make them start saying it out loud; “I’m choosing not to rescue an abandoned child because I want to experience childbirth.”
I'm 23 now and this echoes my views so well. Interesting how this video was made 8 years ago, when I was just 15. How these truths have stayed constant.
To me, an even more arguable point is the insane notion that people who don’t have children, don’t, b/c they are selfish...really???? Parents think they are so self-less b/c they are run ragged half the time, but it’s for the betterment of their own kids that they created, their own decision, their little Mini-me’s, clearly an extension of themselves. Meanwhile us “selfish” people are visiting someone in the hospital that they couldn’t visit b/c they are out buying a minivan, or they are too busy taking junior to soccer, or at a chuckee-cheese nightmare, while we are helping the neighbor move apartments or taking a friend to the airport, or baby-sitting for another run-ragged parent...selfish...really???
At 22 years of age I have decided not to have children and am quite firm (at least now) on my reasons. If I do desire to raise a child later in life, adoption would be preferable. Additionally, I wanted to thank you for your style of presentation, the simple interview format. (Your other stuff is good too) A number of videos on these subjects flash fancy images at you which I find to be quite pushy.
it's good to see you taking such a responsible mature decision so early in life. I wish more ppl thought this way... If you want kids, adopt ones that already exist, instead of making new ones.
@@universalinsights3314 After going throught depression for half of my high school experience. I decided at the age of 18 to not have kids. My parents are disappointed that they won't have any grandkids from me. But I have siblings that want kids. So I should be fine.
I totally agree with you! I have known for more than 30 years. I was 13 years old and I was worried about overpopulation. How can people see the long lines and how long it takes to commute from home to work and everywhere else. I'm a 54 year old man and I'm glad I didn't have any kids because I still want follow my dreams and make them come true. Great video!
Thank you so much for saying this. I was feeling all these things but, I couldn't muster the courage to speak up. It is so difficult to go against the convention when everyone around you is forcing you to do what they consider as norma l. The Idea of bringing a child in this world makes me paranoid. I feel repulsive everytime people ask me when do I plan to have a child. Unfortunately, I just smile and try to appear calm but honestly, it just makes me immensely uncomfortable. I actually get depressed after each conversation. Thanks for putting up this video. I feel so much better after listening to you.
Always trust your instinct. People who have kids because of societal pressure are going to be emotionally absent parents.. if You don't have myopia and you can see the bigger picture, the world is only getting worse.
I have cared for children since I was 12 and spent much of my adult life as a nanny. I am now 28, married and have a 16 year old stepdaughter. I absolutely love children but do not want to have my own, blood children. There is constant pressure put on me to have kids by my parents and other people in my life. The thing is, I have never wanted to have my own kids. I'm happy to spend a day, or have part time custody but I have no desire to become a full time parent. I spent all of my 20s happily supporting my stepdaughter because her mother has 2 other children from 2 other fathers who are not present in the kids lives, so most of our resources go to supporting her as much as we can. I want to have time in my life to travel and explore some of my own interests, not start all over at the age of 30. In some ways I feel like I have the best of both worlds. I have many children in my life who rely on me and love me and I love them too....and that's all I need
Kevin Hill - Stay the course and good on you. When 'they' say things like that, they are just repeating without thinking because they are programmed (literally) to breed. Not subjecting a non-existent person to suffering, toil, and death is the most SELFLESS act you can do. Stay strong and true..
Your content is actually so important to the world in these very trying times. Thank you for standing up for the truth against what must've been a lot of derision and spite.
Only reason I can't is because I'm not in a financial good situation at all. I'd rather save a life who is already here. I like the idea of being a foster parent or adopt 😄.
I have to say that the path of healing and enlightenment has had its ups and down. Also, you can rationalize any idea. and I see your opinion based your information and life experience. My painful past makes me a better father, and being a father helps me heal. I have no regrets about fatherhood. The love for my children is all the motivation I need to be a better human being. Love, compassion, and courage to all.
If any1 told you that it is selfish not to have kids... Just say to them that it is selfish TO HAVE kids today, and ask them theyr reason why they wanted a child these days... Youll see the answers... It all comes at the end that they just want a little copy of them-selfs, and that is the max theyr intelect goes sadly..
Can’t agree more. In my spiritual opinion, I always think that when socially accepted and intellectual but not emotionally and spiritually grown people have kids, they get to learn A LOT from raising children because they never can reflect themselves on their own.. and they are fated to learn their lessons in that way. But those who choose not to have kids with the reasons you say, already have so much wisdom that they don't need to learn from parenting.
I found people with kids its more selfish as a family , i found iver The years that some mothers just use you in The name of frienship, and that its The extrange superiority complex as a woman Who is a mother,It seems like they give them very elevated qualities...but is not , sometimes its an entitled behavior..because you are a mother you deserve more .This happens in countries where there is underpopulation ,and The whole system hypnotize Women to value this over everything else.
Thank you so much for this! I’ve known for a few years that I don’t want kids and constantly get told things like “you’ll change your mind” or “what if your girlfriend wants kids?” And other stuff like that. And that second one is a legitimate concern. It’s hard finding a girl that actually doesn’t want kids or is at least open to the possibility of not having children.
My parents are a perfect example of people who should have *never* been parents. It's everything, including their personality type that made them *not* cut out for it, in fact, I *know* they would have been and would be *much* happier people had they "not".... and I would've been spared a lifetime of torment.
I had a child when I was 30. One would think I was mature enough for this role, but I wasn't. I was terribly hurt by my abusive parents and never realised I would act out my own traumas on my son. I've learnt a lot ever since, but what is done cannot be undone. I love my son so much I would do anything for him but if I could go back in time I would never choose this path. FOR HIS SAKE! He is so nervous even if I tell him I love him and accept him, but god only knows how many mistakes I made that made him an insecure, nervous and anxious young man. I have social phobia, BPD, PTSD and I believe biology should make such people infertile to stop the disaster of repeating the same pattern over and over again. I am still healing from what I've experienced, but it will never be 100% ok, minds of abused children are altered irreversibly.
You are still better then you think and better then most of parents out there . atleast you accepting it and if u accepting it means you are aware and can make changes !
You can change your mind, even after being damaged from abuse. Meditation is brain altering, and it takes a lot of discipline, but it is possible to heal your brain.
I don't personally want kids because at least in America, it's just not financially feasible anymore. Rent is expensive, college education is very expensive, and healthcare is even worse. Why would I bring more humans into this world if I cannot guarantee that I'll be able to support them? Most young people in America are so underpaid that having kids just isn't a responsible decision anymore, and I don't think that will change any time soon. Just giving birth to a kid costs like $10,000 even with insurance, and that's ONLY the birth.
I love my kids but regret having them because of their mother who only got married to me in order to have children. That was her no. 1 motivation and of course that's bound to result in a failed marriage. She never loved me and I was always lowest on her list of priorities after our kids, her parents, her siblings, her female friends, and our pets. She would blame me for everything and always play the victim role. We were never aligned on parenting, either. I should never have entered into a relationship with her, but I was blinded by attraction and had low self-esteem at the time.
Yes. Exactly. Thank you for coming out and saying the truth despite others unwillingness to accept it. There will be a lot of criticism because people simply can’t accept that they’ve made a mistake and have not done the work it takes to be the great person they claim to be, and how this has negatively impacted the people around them. No one wants to take responsibility, seems to be human nature. I also always say, there’s enough people in the world, and not enough love for them. Humanity is our family, so if you can afford to support another human being, offer it to those who are already here and have none.
I have children and I completely regret it. It is very labor intensive and I came from a dysfunctional background and didn't realize it completely until I saw certain behaviors mirrored back to me in my children. On one hand, it pushed me to heal at a greater pace but there are times where I didn't get certain things from home to be able to give to them. It can be a bittersweet feeling and if I had it to do over knowing what I know now, I wouldn't of brought them into this horrible planet!
I'm 21 but I've decided that kids are not in my future. My life will be focused on healing my disfunction and putting myself first. I always thought I would be able to vicariously live through any of my future children, but now I realise it's cruel to bring kids into this world out of vanity or for therapy. It's good you are self aware though, my mum never admitted to me that she regret having me, but I could always sense it. I wish you and your kids well❤❤❤
None of his three reasons are the most important reasons not to have children. Life is full of suffering, constant uncertainty, most of the time the horrors of old age, and death. Spare children from that. THAT IS THE NUMBER ONE REASON.
Indeed, the overpopulation argument is utter b.s that all antinatalists repeat non-stop on YT (agenda behind for sure) ... the real reason is suffering : we should not suffer in life otherwise, this is really a hell that no one should visit from any dimension !
His supporting points are : 1. World is overcrowded already 2. There is also lot of sufferings and pain in this world,which is not at all worth it to experience.
What you said about passing on trauma, I wish that more parents would admit that.
My own mother is the textbook example of what you say! Inter generational trauma is a phenomenon that many people take for granted and ignore. And then, when the triggers or situation arises, they realize way too late. I will never let my trauma (adapted and socialized by my family) pass onto my unborn children.
That is the least of my problems. They are just a bad investment financially.
@@Craig121000 right, unless you marry rich or win the lottery, can't agree more.
So... it's better never to be born, than to be raised imperfectly?
@@thehealthpromotion7024
That’s basically at the root of arguments against teenage pregnancy- that children are not cost effective.
Unfortunately, western culture places a large value on money and power. It’s not designed, at least in its present iteration, to promote a quality of life for any sentient being.
Im child FREE by CHOICE... turning 40 next year... the older I get the more i think i made the best decision.
Do U regret it sometimes?
Yeah, you’d prolly end up w one of these narcissistic brats.
Good for you, it's the best decision I made in my life, and because of it I have a lot of free time (to pursue my hobbies) money and peace of mind. I love the time I can spend with my husband, we go out everyday, we travel a lot, I lived in 4 countries...there is only a regret about having a childfree life...that is I cannot have at least 10 childfree lives.
That's called a coping mechanism bc now u CAN'T have children.
to be honest, i have many bad experiences that I'm really thankful for
Parents often use their children as a scapegoat and a punching bag.
I couldn't agree more. So true!!
True.
Facts. And they still expect a pat on the back for it....
Yep, I sure know what that’s like
KROOL And narcissist abuse them.
The anger in parents is beyond scary I see it almost everyday
You put it so well. They just have several kids and only AFTER realize how expensive kids are and how much energy it takes to raise them well. And because they know they are bad parents they grow angry
Why bring a kid knowing that life is full of suffering
It is not full of suffering. You are spitting in the face of the people who lived before you. You probably live in the first world saying that kind of thing. Suffering makes the strong the strong, and without it we would be a bunch a lazy blobs living for our own material gain. That's way more dangerous than what most English speaking countries have to go through on a daily basis.
i thought that when i was a kid; it's logical
@@mochilover7053 i live in the third world bruh just for facts
@@mochilover7053 there is still suffering in the first world. Health conditions, abuse, rape, sickness, murder, etc. Acute stress can make you, but the traumas of life can break you.
@@cherrymilk5590 Those things have always existed, but lesser so now. Yet, they never were a reason to not have kids up until now; when everything needed to be perfect to raise a child.
This was 8 years ago and its even worse and harder now.
He could have made this during the 2008 Great Recession and your comment would still be true!
Omg completely
Bringing kids into this world, such as it is... is like bringing a soul into hell, it's not for eternity...but it'll feel like it to them.
Your right
Yeah
I'm sorry but you are fu*ked in the head. Life is a gift, without life there is nothing.
agreed
Those who can't raise themselves raise children to hide the fact that they themselves are still children. ........but they don't fool me.
It's ironic...the most conscientious people are the ones not having children!
no coincidence
is that proven by data?
You think this guy is conscientious? lol
You say "conscientious", i say misguided.
If that was the case, atheists, who have the lowest birth rates and are therefore going extinct, would also be the ones that participate most in social programs, donate the most, and help out the most during catastrophes. But according to numerous studies, it is Christians with high birthrates that are doing that far more frequently.
I do like the idea that you guys are essentially advocating for your own extinction. Kind of funny actually. Also, population growth is set to reverse until 2070, so really, you're just shooting in your own foot.
I'm 27 and I never plan on having kids. Life is hard enough as it is. So I'd rather focus on myself, my hobbies, my passion, and my happiness. Parenthood is not for me.
Yeah,... All about "YOU, YOU YOU" and child free people say parents are selfish.. LOL.
@@thecelticdruid.6681 aww somebody is butt hurt because they had a child instead of a life. Your in denial. Fyi it's extremely selfish to have a child that didn't ask to be born because and I quote "they look cute".
Andrew Dexter oh poor you. Jealous much?
@@palomaschannel LOL, not in the least bit jealous, I have no regrets about having two loving adorable children that I have bonded with, so much more than I could with a friend or an animal. I have had my life, and my freedom and have settled down, for those who think they can carry on wanting more freedom are just greedy self obsorbed . My children are older now got my freedom back and it's all been worth it. Child free people miss out on that special bond a mother and daughter has, a father and son. I have been blessed, I have joy in my life, what's there to be jealous about? Now I challenge you to come back with something at least intelligent!!
Andrew Dexter Between Someone who gives birth to children so that THEY can take care of him or her when at their old age VS someone who doesn’t want to have children because they have a life of their own to accomplish and live thus not depending on anyone.
Tell me this, who is much more selfish between the two? Who really is the selfish person?
I wanted children to create a happy family that I didn't have. But just last year. I've become more mature and healed from the past. And now me and my wife agreed that we don't want kids.
Beautiful comment.
I've met a number of parents who thought they can fix their past issues, or their current relationship problems, by having a kid, or several. Surprise, surprise, it seldom ever works.
To bring a child into the world takes planning, responsibillity, wisdom, love, patience, sacrifice, maturity, disapline. Compassion and selflessness. Something child free people lack, but respect is a must and we must respect their choice. I was once child free, but I felt something was missing.
@@thecelticdruid.6681 so, you've just insulted everyone who is child free. That's called hypocrisy.
You might want to concentrate on finding some of the qualities you've just insisted child free people don't have in yourself instead? Rather than start describing groups of people you don't know in this way.
@@thecelticdruid.6681 I have all those qualities. Married 18 years too. Baby fever never hit me and so I never wanted kids. I'm 37.
And also, when you become a parent, you're a parent until the day you die, not until you're child turns 18. I have so many people saying. "It's only 18 years."
That's the dumbest comment ever.
Kids are never ending. Even if you have kids at a young age and your kid turns 60. That is still your child.
Children will always be children to their parents, no matter their age.
I'm 37. My Dad still calls me his "little girl" because I'll always and forever be his "little girl", even when I turn 50.
And as for selflessness, I would die for a child I don't know to ensure that child's safety. I just never had a desire for children.
@@thecelticdruid.6681 STOP saying you were "childfree" once. NO, you weren't. Childfree people NEVER have children because it's a choice they made. You are a parent.
Children deserve parents who've done their healing. A 100% true.
Both my parents had difficult childhoods and am not being ungrateful or anything, but I've found myself being a "therapist "to them listening hours on end to issues from their childhood and it never got reciprocated. I designed my life in a way not to trigger them or cause them pain that most of the time I end up feeling empty.
Now, I don't have enough energy to deal with my own children that am dealing with unsolved issues of my own.I don't think I would want children.
Good point. I sometimes feel regret that I didn’t have kids. But like you my parents used to me resolve their unresolved trauma from tgeir childhoods. I became their therapist and tgey never had the headspace to deal w my problems. Ended up trying to sort myself out for years. Def not a great place for a child asI would problably not be there for my kids. Kids really need parents that can provide emotionally, maturely, and financially. If you have lots of issues you will def re-enact them out on your kids.
I grew up hating being in this world and suffering from a young age.
@@blackcurrantpop am sorry to hear that you had a similar experience. In my teens leading upto my college, I've tried to play the same therapist to other people around me until I hit a curb and could not go on any further. Am healing now. Hope you find peace and happiness. Sending love,good luck 👍
No kid ever should play "therapist role" for his parent period
I totally agree with this man 100 percent. Why have kids so they can suffer and go through pain and sorrow. Besides there are too many bad parents anyway.
And plus - in the end your kids will die. All I can think off is that my child will die! Isn't it the most tragic thing ever? Other people would say - oh it's the law of nature, everybody will die... but that doesn't really help it!!!
I don't agree. My wife and I did therapy before we met and got married and it made us a thousand times better parents. I know our family has positively influenced other parents around us in ways we will never know. In the early 1960s when I was born nobody talked about sexual or emotional abuse. Segregation was still legal. So much has changed in my life. Consciousness is expanding.
@@Pawning right which is why I'm not having children
They don't have to suffer because they are victims of life's wickedness
Our body’s are just DNA replicators. That’s it.
@@ResidenceEvil45 lmao so your supposed to enjoy all the benefits of life. Good and bad. Whereas they susposed to go into the toilet i get you 🙂. Do you really die when you pass on your knowledge. You don't even know if you're kid(s) will be the people to solve world hunger or bringing the world together in unity. You don't know but already decided that its life will be shitty and sad maybe because of how your life was doesn't mean your kid will share your fate. Smh this guy in the video, his reasons are poor as f. Its a good thing he is not pass on this bad advice to others oh wait he is and you guys are eating it up smh.
My biological parents suck. They only gave me misery. As far as i can remember. Poverty and emotional abuse to add on.
Are you doing well now?
@@God.sDaughter i think his dead
Same. I hate them. They act like they own me and that I owe them something. I don't want to have my own kids.
Parents who are narcissists should never have had kids in the first place. Sorry you went thru all of that.
Same. I hate mine. They are stupid and poor.
I think it comes down to ignorance. Many who choose not to have children have opened up their eyes to the horrific problems of our planet and how those problems are our responsibility, ours to blame. (Having children in a pandemic?!?!) People will also say they knew real love for the first time when they held their baby in their arms - what a sad existence! I have known the deepest of love ever since I met the first bird I’d feed every day as a small child! The love for animals, nature, goodness only grows and grows - without adding life to it.
Agreed!!
The animal u fed was offspring…that birds parents had kids. You wouldn’t have had that moment if they didn’t have kids….
Love your comment. Beautifully said.
@@KudaMan True. But that's not the point. She was talking about the sadness of "being in love" only after holding an unborn child in your arms. The fact that you live 20-30 something years and you never experienced that feeling, its a sad existence. You can find love by learning to love yourself.
You are awesome
No one has a child for the contentment of a being they don't know. WE CHOOSE to have a child to satisfy OUR own needs - this within itself is a self serving act.
Brilliantly said!
Living is a self-serving act. So what’s your point? Is it immoral to live?
@R B Stop lying
@@StorminMormin91
So if people don't want kids who cares
Ad Dajjal Son of Allah that’s fine if they don’t. Just don’t assume those that do are selfish
This world is too dangerous for children.
I agree
@@numinousmud4 pedophiles are only among people. Animals mate when they are mature.
@@numinousmud4 comparing humans with animals is pretty pointless. Animals are dumb and don't think, humans (at least the smart ones) do.
...and for adults as well, sadly...
@@gvis8217 humans are animals...
I never wanted kids and didn't have them. It seemed so unappealing to me. All of my sibs did and every family get together was void of adult conversation. My parents did take out their unresolved issues on us and they were winging it, like most people. I'm sure that played into my decision but I wasn't fully conscious of it. I had too much pain to work on at the time, and was very aware of it. I too, like kids but prefer German Shepherds.
Animals are a poor substitute for a child, they may have their own way of showing love by affection but they can't talk and say "I love you Dsd/mum", when they say that it's a job well done and all the pain and sacrifice was really worth it in the end. A dog has a short life span, a child is a life time!!!
@@thecelticdruid.6681 I agree, kids are a job. A lifetime commitment. Too many people have them without thinking or being prepared. I'm glad I chose dogs. It was a very conscious choice. I may have been a good mother because I've been through therapy and am well educated, etc. But I never really desired it.
@@thecelticdruid.6681 kids don't say "I love you" they say "hi I am here to ruin your life and dreams and make sure you are never happy again"
@@mrmaclovin255 LOL !!! Here you are again. If what you say is true why am I so incredibly happy most of the time? Why do I have joy and happiness in my life, why do I feel so much happiness to see the delight on our children's faces on Christmas morning?. You are only see the negative side to it as you have not experienced the the positive side to it. I strongly feel I would've failed as a human being if I didn't produce children, or if I hadn't been there for them, spent quality time with them,.............what have you achieved Mr Arthur Morgan ? (LOL)
@@Loverboy19691 actually enjoying life is an achievement. Having children pushes away enjoyment. So it is not an achievement
I'm 41 and never had children and I just can't bring a child into this world. I agree with you that the earth is overcrowded and to bring a child into this absolutely miserable world would be a tragedy.
I agree! And it's deteriorating rapidly. I just think - how many times I was offended by other small minded people and unfairness of life... that I just don't want anybody else to experience the same!!!
The world itself is beautiful, it is the people who make it miserable.
@@penlavits3305 at the age of 41, I doubt he's been single his whole life.
@@mistersmith265 well with the current pandemic overpopulation isn't a problem anymore. Especially with all those slow Americans.if he doesn't want to have children with an American i totally get that because they aren't too bright.
@@penlavits3305 Or maybe he just don't want kids. Ever thought about that? Just because someone is in a loving relationship doesn't mean they have to add kids to it.
”Build a society around healing trauma” 👍👍
Heard this " bringing children into this world is like running towards a burning building"
Our culture glorified having children, especially your own biological ones, which I find is wrong. Women are under a lot of pressure to « procreate » or they feel as though something s missing. We need to change our culture and respect people who wisely choose not to have children. Another sensible option is to foster or adopt those that are already there and crying out for love and care.
Yeah That's my point we shouldn't argue on people not having kids like my family my aunt doesn't want kids cause they have us and it's not bad to have kids either their decision is important
I belive that telling somebody they are not wise because they had a children, is just as rude and disgusting as to tell their kid that he shouldnt exist because he is a waste of space and resourses. I don't know if that is what you were trying to say but just as you can decide to not have any children, people can decide to have them, and there is nothing wrong in choosing that.
@@vicentezegers1181 yes there is something very wrong with that... why? Because all reasons for having children biologically are inherently selfish. You cannot debunk this truth. It is morally wrong as well to bring a life into a world of suffering and inevitable death without their consent. All people who breed are sociopaths.
The reason to have children, as I see it, is for making more of attractive, beautiful, and inspiring people, if that is you to begin with, and, the matter of heritage,…. who do you want to make for the future of the world. Racial and ethnic heritage is something to appreciate, and that goes for all types.
adopting will encourage people to have more children ... it looks like a solution but it's not !
think about it twice ... with your mind and not with your heart !
I'm 34 and just love not having any kids, they take up your money and freedom, most of my mates all have kids and deep down I know they wish they didn't
Not to mention the divorce rate and custody
You are one shallow son of a bi*ch to put a monetary value on a human life.
A lady once told me ‘ Go explore, travel. Don’t abdicate your dreams for someone else, regardless of who they are. The right person will live your dreams with you, not take them away.’ And she’s so true. I’m not completely taking away the option of being a mother but I’m considering all the pros and cons and honestly, if I am to have children I’d rather adopt children who need a loving home. And even then, only if I’m completely mature emotionally, as I come from an abusive household and developed PTSD and depression due to it. I would rather focus on my career and explore the world before anything.
Also, you’re so right! My bs ‘parents’ constantly brag about being the best when they only berated me, controlled me and never cared. Which is why I cut ties and trying to live my life as I want it to be.
This "sounds" like a good idea, until it isn't. You're not exactly OLD so those thoughts an older person has, hasn't reached u yet. Maybe u didn't think about it actually.
Once a person gets to the point where it's actually said they can NOT have children anymore, this is when they comit self trashing from childhood abuse and trauma. The risk of pregnancy is now gone so they relax on it. Furthering their problems.whike ending up utterly ALONE.
alone sounds good until it doesn't. Then it's too late. An old lady smelling like cat urine and an unkept house bc she just gave up.
@@daviedood2503 excellent point.
@@daviedood2503So easy for you to say. You can adopt and raise a kid for the rest of your life and show us how satisfying your life is
@@NE0Nwhip I actually DID that tbh 13 years. I raised them from age 7 to 21. They grew up and wanted to go and experience life as an adult. Had ALOT of good times and memories honestly.
I was severely abused by my mother as a child, so I never had children because I was afraid I would abuse them; especially because I love children. I love your courage.
Your fear of abusing your own children is what would make you a good parent.
@@NegativSpace-pd6cznot necessarily
There is too much suffering in this world to bring more humans into it. To me, Having kids is immoral.
Totally agree
I've recently come to think that too. Parents are often seen as heroes, which is weird.
@@mochilover7053what? A perfect life would be free from suffering.
I do not want children for these exact reasons. I had a vasectomy recently to be sure of that, and my girlfriend doesn't want kids either. Should I ever want to raise a child, I can always adopt. We have enough children in the system that need help, that it almost seems selfish to bring one into the world.
In the nicest possible way your genes aren't strong enough to survive. A person who biologically wants children must have better genes than someone who doesn't. I'm not talking about someone who wanted kids but never found someone i'm talkng about someone who refuses to have them when the can.
The parents of those children who need adoption didn't think like you do and you are solving their problems. You can be all altruistic but it's selfish assholes breeding whose kids you are adopting.
@@golgotha3938 Do you have any research to back this claim up? I am curious.
@@jimcrow7165 And I am firmly in support of affordible birth control for all to prevent unwanted pregnancies to irresponsible people.
@@Jackjunkie What are you talking about?
There has never been a good time to have kids no matter how civilized or "modernized" we become the world will still be a nasty place
Wise words there brother
"We're not going to go extinct from lack of breeding but from overbreeding" Agree so much
That will never happen because we won't be alive to found out and they'll live on other planets thousands or millions of years from now
Nobody asked me, but I think greed is our main problem. Remove the greed, and there would be no wars and enough resources for everyone.
Since I was 17 I knew I didn’t want to have kids. Now I’m 23 and so glad because I am definitely not changing my mind. The world is simply fucked up I hate the fact that I was born why would I bring another soul.
Having the same thoughts as you. If strangers have no qualms dictating that you are wrong for not breeding, then I don't ever want to bring kids into this world knowing they will definitely face the same thing.
Your about 25 now which is still very young.
I'd just ask you do you think that you will ve happy without kids?
If you live to 100 what are you going to do with your life without kids?
How are you going to find meaning?
I know you see this differently to me.
@The Squad Does your BF know you feel this way? Sex is a very important part of a relationship, especially to men. (Despite what he may have told you)
You should desire him all over you.
Try and get help for this issue.
I can only speculate why you feel this way OCD, past truma, didn't grow up with a brother or phobia.
Issues with you being impregnated are a symptom of a wider issue. To 'solve' this you could inject yourself with his swimming team. But you have wider problems.
@@thesquad827 how do you think your parents made you? Are your parents disgusting for having you that’s what you basically said.
@@samuelbeltran3058 umm did i ask to be born all of us dont ask
easy; wars, depression, hearbreaks, loss, sadness.
Illness
The most important reason: Life is suffering. You can avoid a huge amount of struggle by simply not creating a new suffering person. No one is harmed by not being born, whereas most people are harmed by their parent's selfish act of forcing them into existence.
#Antinatalism
Facts
Perfectly said. Air tight. Simple, yet to confusing for most.
For a self healing channel, people really seem to have a negative outlook on life. Life is suffering, but is it really only suffering? Would you really be here still today if that's all that life is. Why do so many people participate in this one in akind phenomenon we call life if it is really not that worth It?
I've been through my share of struggle and suffering to the point where I wanted to end it. In the end, I realized how thankful I am that my parents gave me life no matter what Iv been through. I know many people that have been throu way worse than I have and feel the same. If you really feel that existing is not worth the struggle, then I would strongly urge you to seek help.
Sadie Brubaker - You wrote, "Life is suffering, but is it really only suffering?". No suffering. Life should be about NO suffering. The fact that it is shows life and the human condition is beyond flawed to the point of being evil. Stop justifying suffering, it is never justified. You went on to ask, "Would you really be here still today if that's all that life is". Yes, for two reasons: 1) a built in survival instinct that is very strong, 2) because of a fear of death that most people refuse to admit too. Then you asked, "Why do so many people participate in this one in akind phenomenon we call life if it is really not that worth It?". They do for the following reasons in order: 1) an optimism bias which is sophomoric and irrational. 2) a genetic predisposition to breed. 3) Ego and pride, racism and tribalism/CULTure. Animals that breed, eat, and crap are simply doing what their animal instincts tell them without being able to reason or see the big picture. Humans have no excuse to continue breeding. None. This is not about being "happy" or sad or liking "life' or hating it. Don't be simplistic.
@@gnostictruth1599 If this is not about being happy or hating life then what makes you think that life should be about NO suffering.
And you make alot of valid points, none of which really prove that people should stop having children tho. If this channel is about self growth, then a very valid reason for people to have families is for that. Having children is a very natural part if the human journey. It gives alot of people an actual meaning to life. It motivates people to take their proper place in society. Life is meaningless without responsibility, and alot of people find it in having babies. The family structure is very important to modern civilization and we can't just ignore that fact.
Also, saying that life should be about NO suffering seems very simplistic. Whether I was generalizing suffering or not (which I wasn't) it is over optimistic and sophomoric to think that not having kids is the solution to end suffering.
Parenthood is a straight ticket to living hell. Who wants that nightmare? I am 45 years old, child free and loving it!
Agreed 👍
Right on ! I'm feeling the same
I think most people have kids because they're brainwashed from Day One that it's what you're supposed to do. There are so many things a person can do with their lives! And it's obvious today that the kids are getting the sh*t-end of the stick because there are so many "adults" that want so much, and therefore, both have to work, and the kids get forgotten. It's damn sad.
@ Yes! Because the society tells you to do that - even if you haven't met your true love - you have to do that! And just because it's convenient for the government - they just want you to get married, have kids and work 3 times harder to support your wife and family. Are you 30? Why aren't you married? - they say...sounds so judgmental!
I realized it’s a business. The whole 30 and married thing is a system and man do a lot of people get hurt in the end
Suprising none of the dumb sheep have tried arguing with you yet probably too busy cleaning their kids mess
Simon 5005 nice of you to think my parents are brainwashed I like how you associate a couple people with everybody not every child is forgotten about
@Simon5005 It's not that they are brainwashed it's THEIR decisions and if we are not gonna have kids or our parents don't even want kids then the rest of us are not even in this world we don't exist if it weren't for our parents choosing to have kids and my other brain agrees and my other brain doesn't
I'm 38 and i have no children. I agree with everything in this video. My parents were some of the worst examples. They are the type that i wouldn't wish any kid on.
@Blue Abusive , selfish and ignorance.
@@user-qo2bs1kx5f Still no kid or kids.
@user-qo2bs1kx5f Multiple reasons. I don't feel the need. I don't want to give up my freedom. I know it seems selfish but it is what it is. Narcissism runs deep in my family.. I don't want the parental responsibilities. Way too expensive. I don't take the best care of myself let alone someone else. Child support and custody laws and hypocrite laws that are one sided towards women and screws men.
@user-qo2bs1kx5f My father was like a school yard bully. He only felt tough around small children. When comes to a man. He was a complete wimp.
@@user-qo2bs1kx5f Biking. Coin and video game collecting. Occasional massages from the stress of life and work.
Best video I ever watched. Having children in this day and age is one of the most selfish things an individual could do when thinking about all of the things that you mentioned on top of racism, sexism, oppression, poverty and inflation. There are so many factors that makes child-bearing or progeneration a selfish act.
I agree. I did choose not having children. Never regret is!
I fell into the pressures of societies bullshit!
Yeah same... wish I had more courage..
3 Things to consider.
1. I agree with him 100%
2. I TOTALLY agree with him 100%
3. Refer to the above
I’m 26 and there’s nothing that can change my mind on having kids life it’s just too damn great single and without kids working on retiring early 😀
Same here man. Better to remain single and take this advice in mind: "Be like Achilles. Don't be Leonidas". Basically fight for yourself and your life.
You guys speak like will live forever…. You might die tomorrow
I'm 40 years old and been happily married (yes, really) for almost 20 years. My husband is a wonderful person - incredibly intelligent, kind, witty and understanding. AND very very patient. I love children dearly and work with them. Of course I've been asked if I have kids NON-STOP for half of my life. NO, I don't, and I never will. It sounds really strange coming from a woman in a very stable marriage who loves kids that she has no intention of having children, but there it is.
I do sometimes wish that I wanted children, simply for the sake of passing on my husband's genes because of how amazing he is and feel like it's sort of a waste to not have kids with his genes, but we've both agreed that children won't be in the picture. There's an enormous pressure on me to have kids, also, because I'm an only child.
I can't stand it when people cut me off in the middle of a discussion when they ask me if I have children and I say no, with "Well, you can't possibly understand..." BS. Don't go there. Don't ever use that on me, because it really is BS. I always hear people, especially mothers say "I didn't know what it was like to (insert some emotion/feeling/revelation here) until I became a mother." - oh, really??? Because I was all of those things back when I was a CHILD. You mean, you didn't think of, or feel those things until you were in your THIRTIES??? Wtf were you doing with your life???
Love you for your dogged perseverance. Take care and may you guys grow old together.
Just get a hamster then. It's practically the same thing.
Killed it with the point
Misery loves company ppl love to know others walk and feel the same as them .
So you think being kid lets you know what it is like to be a mother? There are huge biological factors in motherhood and yes although I am sure you understand broad picture of parenthood, but you can't possibly fully understand what it is really like to be a parent. But I get that it is really annoying when people constantly remind you that, not very nice of them especially when you understand that it is kinda true.
Misery loves company, hence parents want everybody else to have children.
I always tell people the pros and cons from my experience. But then I'm not miserable.
I really don't want you having kids. Please don't you probably have fat people's genetics or cross-eyed somethings..... Or just use kids for welfare......
Please do not have kids then if you think of them as burdens. We were all once kids. My husbands mother has had abortions before him and after he was born. He is elated and grateful to be alive .
I am 29 right now.
I would gladly have my kids take care of me when I'm old and decrepit.
Better than being physically/sexually abused at a nursing home.
Most elderly abuse at nursing homes go unreported
I couldn’t agree more. 🙂 Having kids could be the worst decision someone could ever step on.
@@blythesaunders3124 only if they consider themselves completely incapable of being a parent.
Complete your sentences
@@prariesasquatch5616 that is if your kids choose to do that - they owe you nothing
One observation that has always fascinated me is the number of parents that don’t enjoy the company of their own children, or even children in general. 😢
And for sure, children are not dolls that you can put back on the shelf when you’re through playing with them.
God Bless the vulnerable and defenseless among us, children and adults like.🙏❤️
I made the decision not to have kids at 11 years old. Not because of overcrowding, but because the modern world is toxic - and i don't believe children deserve to be brought into a toxic world.
It’s normal to think as a parent that your children are your investments and will pay off when they grow up. That is a shitty mentality and to them I say DON’T HAVE KIDS!
as a suicidal depressed kid with 4 forgotten siblings and stressed out parents. YES.
70 per cent of people i know/met aren’t qualified to have kids.... u need high level of intelligence, commitment, sheer will, financial stability, and freakin’ lots of time to spare... these are just the basics
U might think “mmm then u want only a segment of the population to have kids?”
Yes, karen. I want that. I’m pretty sure many kids/adults would agree with me
i agree with you whole heartedly
Only the most capable should have offspring. I've been saying (thinking) this for years. Another very unpopular opinion. But I'm happy I am not the only one who thinks this.
I agree with that as well. This maybe a bit (or a lot) out there, but I think a lot of bad parenting (and bad parents in general) is the result of too much influence from the lower brain (lizard (instinctual) and animal (emotional) parts) when it comes to decision making. My idea: create some brain implant(s) to increase activity in the cerebrum (more rational part of the brain) to help with human evolution through technology. Break the cycle, rise above nature, focus on Transhumanism!
1,000%! Population needs to be taken into more consideration than as an afterthought. After all, 1950’s suburbia never considered what would happen when population explosions affect a town/city. And it’s far better to have a human population based on higher quality of life WAY MORE than quantity of people.
I’d say maybe 90%
finally someone with some sense
NO
@@Somerandomguy0207 yes
@@mrmaclovin255 No
If you don't want children thats ok, but don't say that people that do have children don't have common sence. Is because of people that choose to have children that we havent gone extinct, and I care more for humans than for nature so I dont care if we use space that animals could use.
@Vicente Zegers well that’s an interesting way to say “I’m an eco terrorist and will teach my children to think the same way”
Your the man Daniel. Parents love to push a narrative that puts them in the best possible life. The reality is that the majority of parents are unfit for the role and are doing it for themselves, not the child
Look at our world. Parents are doing a sh*tty job.
Exactly. Most people I know project themselves onto the child which is expected in such a narcissistic society
I´m 21 and I know I never want kids. I have about 100 reasons and I agree with all of these. I´m living with my spouse, our life is so great: all the free time, good sleep and peaceful home. I feel like I´m growing as a person all the time.
Having a child simply becuase you "want to" is so obviously selfish. Any sentence that involves the words "I want" is said by someone trying to serve a desire or need of thier own. Period.
Some people say it’s been selfish not wanting kids… it’s like they want a medal for helping someone that they created to have someone to help.
Selfish is bringing someone into the world so you can have your meaning but very much creating the same existential problem to kids.
I brush the leaves of my garden, the throw them to my neighbors garden and telling them “if you want the problem to go away, just throw it over the next fence.
I have a problem with the argument that love is stronger than pain, because you can only know how strong a rock is by smashing it, so where is love when you put it to the test? Where is love when a kid becomes orphan after witnessing men with weapons raping and killing its entire family in front of their eyes? Shall we say to the kid, remember that you have “Love”.
Agree! It is so hard to talk to a parent who thinks he's a perfect parent. They are totally blind and think their kids are somehow guilty for their own misery.
shapaco89 Sooo true. Have two at home and they can't even speak to me anymore cause I gave them a mirror of their toxic principles. Suckers
"It is so hard to talk to a parent who thinks he's a perfect parent. They are totally blind and think their kids are somehow guilty for their own misery."
BOOM! SO TRUE! The fact that breeders have no logic proves that breeders have NEVER done anything hard in their lives, that it is a MYTH that parenting is a "difficult" "job". FUCK political correctness.
@@Jackjunkie hahah!
@@Jackjunkie of course, there is direct action to portray as well. Do you still not understand my comment?
We need COURAGEOUS people like you WAKING PEOPLE UP!!
He was so right. Eight years later, the world is much worse.
Agree with you.
Children can rock your marriage.
No sleep ..always working around them. No time for self and self care.
My parents are prime examples of people who present as “normal”, but neither one of them is mentally fit. They’re both extremely selfish, angry & narcissistic. No surprise- they’re boomers..
I was conditioned from a very young age that I would grow up, get married and have kids. I'm so thankful that it didn't happen that way and I'm grateful for this video. Too many people have kids because they enjoy the idea of having mini versions of themselves running around... I consider that to be a pretty shitty reason! haha - thanks Daniel. Stumbled across your work through the wormhole of the internet re: tapering off my meds (which I'm beginning in May) Thanks for your wonderful and arresting insight. Cecilia
Did you tappering go well? :)
The last thing I want in this world is a mini version of myself. I see so many people complain about themselves, their lives and then they bring mini me's into this world
Four years later I spot your comment "Mini me"'s"? You clearly don't know children well, children develop their own identities and interests, I don't share a lot of interests with my son, my daughter never got into action man toys simply because I liked them.
Not every one is cut out to be a parent, I agree there.
I have decided when I turned 35. Not to have kids. I think i made right decision for me. And i am not mature. 😎
I'm immature and don't want kids either, would you like to go for a coffee?
tim3854 ☕️
Me either, my husband and I decided to live our own life without kids. The only thing hard to deal with those elder people (not my parents) force us to have a baby just because the marriage coup needs to do that.
heekyung Kim do u learn Kung fu then?
One question have you been in a meaningful relationship
My beautiful 28 yr old daughter has been saying that for years. I finally accepted it and I’m good with it now. I want my daughter to have freedom to do whatever she wants! She loves learning and helping others. Having kids would only weigh her down. She plays the piano and she loves to compose music and she also loves her times of solitude when she needs it! I totally agree with you! Thanks for being so honest. I finally heard someone other than my daughter who feels the same way!
I couldn’t agree more. That’s exactly the way I feel. I’ve been called selfish plenty of times for not having kids. Yet the very people calling me that have children and are horrible parents.
And yes my parents are narcissists and psychopaths, and were awful caretakers. Since they’re so arrogant they have convinced themselves that they were the best parents ever.
I think I’ll pass on bringing a child into an overpopulated planet full of solipsism.
You're the opposite of selfish. I'd say you're selfless, kind and brave. The selfish ones are those having children when their lives are a mess
That's so sweet. I certainly aim to be less selfish, and more kind and brave. I guess in my 20's I realized that since I did not get to have a childhood and develop a healthy sense of self/identity, I was going to use my early adulthood to discover my real identity. Which often gets deemed as "selfish" by the biggest narcissists with in a family-unit and/or group of childhood friends 😆.
As I'm sure you as well have put a lot of thought and care when considering having children 😇.
100% spot on.
The planet has too many humans and not a single political leader is talking about the problem.
"50% Of you need to go! Vote for me!" - You see why?
@@orasis ...
Let me guess. Personal profit?
@@dougn2350 You'll never get voted in.
the reason is simple. More humans, more taxpayers.
Bill gates is
Excellent observations. People who have kids seem to have great disdain towards individuals who don't.
i agree..people look at you like you have 3 heads when you say i do not want kids...i do not care what others do have all the kids you want.
Marvin Simelton I don't think it's disdain , it's more like good old - fashioned jealousy...
And surprisingly these are usually the same people who don't recycle, are climate change deniers... You would think they would want to fix the planet for their kids and grandkids. As Daniel said in another video, in 20 years' time, the Earth is going to be a scary place to be... and we can't emigrate to another planet or to a space station!
Yeh Men Yeah , you're absolutely right.
Actually HE DOES NOT REALLY KNOW WHAT HE'S TALKING ABOUT... Marvin Simpleton... :)
Hehehehehehe... Read my comments, btw, and comment if you may... Let's see if you can score points with both your views...
Joseph theVagabond,
VIVA, Ecclessia Catholica! Vive, benedixitque Deum, familiae!
The only reasons people have kids is genetics and not wanting to die alone.
There courage in dying alone
not exactly i want want kids im not afraid to die alone actually im not afraid to die at all i just want to live a long life and i want to adopt but i do agree some bitches out here really be that selfish though. I do wish people were just more good overall and more open minded to the concept of not wanting children because to be frank some people dont need kids. anyways much love have a splendid day.
Yeah they don't want to end up like Jack Nicholson because his women left him and he is scared of dying alone
That's extremely narrow - minded
There are always reasons for any relationship
The only requirement is a deep way of thought and broad - mindedness
@@haritikanand8502 i mean i would say narrow minded because some people only have kids to pass genetics or to see what they would look like but i would say that it is not true that most people only have kids to pass genetics because that is generalizing a group and is similar to saying something like most white people are racist. Its not true its just generalizing a group into a stereotype
If you want kids great but before you decide to have one of your own , also decide to adopt a child who has no parents . Then you do something incredible for humanity.
Sunflowershowers that’s also how I feel
Does that not encourage the irresponsible ? They can keep procreating with no care about what happens if they get pregnant? If everyone were to do this, we would have a society of irresponsible biological parents, who give up children at birth, and no "genes" from any responsible parents being handed down!
Let me stand up and applaud. I'm 52 happy NEVER been married or had kids. I knew all of these things at 21, sad most people die never knowing this...
Same here. I knew that very young. Now 57 and SO glad I never had children!
When I have said to my friends that one of the reasons why I don't want to have kids is overpopulation they laugh at it and said what difference will make one kid. Plus I don't consider myself so special that I need to pass my genes. I'm 32.
That's why we're 8 billion now when back then we're still at 5 billion. Crazy
I've literally never met anyone that regretted NOT having kids.
This why I'm so grateful my father was older when I was born. Im now 19 and my father is 67. My mother is 50. I have seen throughout childhood my mother being a complete child when it comes to things. Lashing out, emotionally unstable, it was only within the last 2 years that I was able to be around my mom and feel secure. My father on the other hand has always been that way. I have never heard my dad cuss or lash out. He's never laid a finger on me in terms of punishment. If it were not for my father I wouldn't be the women I am today. The funny thing is that my mother grow up in a nuclear family were as my fathers childhood was in short, horrible. Dont have kids if you haven't dealt with past issues. While my fathers past often saddens me, I'm incredibly grateful he actively choose to move though it before having a child.
What did your dad go through?
Glad it's worked out
I like your story and I think it is wiser to advise people to have children when they are older than to abandon the idea of children altogether. Some people will want to have families, humanity will still continue. But it's up to us to ensure it continues in a positive direction by fostering maturity and being honest with ourselves re: is it right for me?
There are 153,000,000 orphans in the world. Can “parents” maybe start there?? Or is it all about YOU and YOUR experience?
Make them start saying it out loud; “I’m choosing not to rescue an abandoned child because I want to experience childbirth.”
Exactly. My delusional dream is to purchase a huge home in the DR and adopt children from Haiti. But I only have a dream. Hahaha
Adoption is too expensive.
People need to parent their own inner child instead
💯👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
I'm 23 now and this echoes my views so well. Interesting how this video was made 8 years ago, when I was just 15. How these truths have stayed constant.
you're damn right! I have 0 and I love it!!!
@Musically Inclined 😂😂😂
....if only more ppl had the foresight.....most only have hindsight..😢
Musically Inclined I have to highly respect a parent willing to set the ego aside and admit that. Not many can.
A baby is a big responsibility. I'm sure Moe Ramirez was a handful.
To me, an even more arguable point is the insane notion that people who don’t have children, don’t, b/c they are selfish...really???? Parents think they are so self-less b/c they are run ragged half the time, but it’s for the betterment of their own kids that they created, their own decision, their little Mini-me’s, clearly an extension of themselves. Meanwhile us “selfish” people are visiting someone in the hospital that they couldn’t visit b/c they are out buying a minivan, or they are too busy taking junior to soccer, or at a chuckee-cheese nightmare, while we are helping the neighbor move apartments or taking a friend to the airport, or baby-sitting for another run-ragged parent...selfish...really???
So so true
Don't take this so personally, some people like to push their opinions on others.
At 22 years of age I have decided not to have children and am quite firm (at least now) on my reasons.
If I do desire to raise a child later in life, adoption would be preferable.
Additionally, I wanted to thank you for your style of presentation, the simple interview format. (Your other stuff is good too)
A number of videos on these subjects flash fancy images at you which I find to be quite pushy.
it's good to see you taking such a responsible mature decision so early in life. I wish more ppl thought this way...
If you want kids, adopt ones that already exist, instead of making new ones.
Hmmm... family pressure is something everybody can't oppose..
@@universalinsights3314 After going throught depression for half of my high school experience. I decided at the age of 18 to not have kids. My parents are disappointed that they won't have any grandkids from me. But I have siblings that want kids. So I should be fine.
I agree with you being 19 right now, having this decision right now lifted a weight off my chest
I totally agree with you! I have known for more than 30 years. I was 13 years old and I was worried about overpopulation. How can people see the long lines and how long it takes to commute from home to work and everywhere else. I'm a 54 year old man and I'm glad I didn't have any kids because I still want follow my dreams and make them come true. Great video!
You will die old and lonely
Thank you so much for saying this. I was feeling all these things but, I couldn't muster the courage to speak up. It is so difficult to go against the convention when everyone around you is forcing you to do what they consider as norma l. The Idea of bringing a child in this world makes me paranoid. I feel repulsive everytime people ask me when do I plan to have a child. Unfortunately, I just smile and try to appear calm but honestly, it just makes me immensely uncomfortable. I actually get depressed after each conversation. Thanks for putting up this video. I feel so much better after listening to you.
Classless and intrusive to ask you in any case 'when you are having children?' People are learning, but it's slow.
Always trust your instinct. People who have kids because of societal pressure are going to be emotionally absent parents.. if You don't have myopia and you can see the bigger picture, the world is only getting worse.
I have cared for children since I was 12 and spent much of my adult life as a nanny. I am now 28, married and have a 16 year old stepdaughter. I absolutely love children but do not want to have my own, blood children. There is constant pressure put on me to have kids by my parents and other people in my life. The thing is, I have never wanted to have my own kids. I'm happy to spend a day, or have part time custody but I have no desire to become a full time parent. I spent all of my 20s happily supporting my stepdaughter because her mother has 2 other children from 2 other fathers who are not present in the kids lives, so most of our resources go to supporting her as much as we can. I want to have time in my life to travel and explore some of my own interests, not start all over at the age of 30. In some ways I feel like I have the best of both worlds. I have many children in my life who rely on me and love me and I love them too....and that's all I need
I was at work the other day and told a co-worker that I didn't want to have kids. She told me that I was "selfish". The nerve of some people!
Kevin Hill - Stay the course and good on you. When 'they' say things like that, they are just repeating without thinking because they are programmed (literally) to breed. Not subjecting a non-existent person to suffering, toil, and death is the most SELFLESS act you can do. Stay strong and true..
@@gnostictruth1599 wise words!!!!!!!
Those who are truly selfish are those who have kids and don’t have the means to take care of them.
Your content is actually so important to the world in these very trying times. Thank you for standing up for the truth against what must've been a lot of derision and spite.
I had my tubal ligation when I was 21 and I am very happy with my decision more than ever before
Only reason I can't is because I'm not in a financial good situation at all. I'd rather save a life who is already here. I like the idea of being a foster parent or adopt 😄.
I have to say that the path of healing and enlightenment has had its ups and down. Also, you can rationalize any idea. and I see your opinion based your information and life experience.
My painful past makes me a better father, and being a father helps me heal. I have no regrets about fatherhood. The love for my children is all the motivation I need to be a better human being.
Love, compassion, and courage to all.
Yes, Daniel went a bit overboard here - people deserve to be loved, thank you for your comment.
@@christophervishy8273 yep. He is still speaking out of his own wounds but he can't see it (or chooses not to). I wish him the best.
If any1 told you that it is selfish not to have kids... Just say to them that it is selfish TO HAVE kids today, and ask them theyr reason why they wanted a child these days... Youll see the answers... It all comes at the end that they just want a little copy of them-selfs, and that is the max theyr intelect goes sadly..
It’s all for the attention they get through their children. That’s all that matters to them.
not every orgasm deserves a name
Can’t agree more. In my spiritual opinion, I always think that when socially accepted and intellectual but not emotionally and spiritually grown people have kids, they get to learn A LOT from raising children because they never can reflect themselves on their own.. and they are fated to learn their lessons in that way. But those who choose not to have kids with the reasons you say, already have so much wisdom that they don't need to learn from parenting.
I'm child free and want to remain that way.
I found people with kids its more selfish as a family , i found iver The years that some mothers just use you in The name of frienship, and that its The extrange superiority complex as a woman Who is a mother,It seems like they give them very elevated qualities...but is not , sometimes its an entitled behavior..because you are a mother you deserve more .This happens in countries where there is underpopulation ,and The whole system hypnotize Women to value this over everything else.
Thank you so much for this! I’ve known for a few years that I don’t want kids and constantly get told things like “you’ll change your mind” or “what if your girlfriend wants kids?” And other stuff like that. And that second one is a legitimate concern. It’s hard finding a girl that actually doesn’t want kids or is at least open to the possibility of not having children.
I hope I live to see the day where I can brag " I was a cat lady when being a cat lady wasn't cool"
I love you!!!!!! 😂
Just because you're a good and mature person is no guarantee that your offspring are going to be good people.
My parents are a perfect example of people who should have *never* been parents.
It's everything, including their personality type that made them *not* cut out for it, in fact, I *know* they would have been and would be *much* happier people had they "not".... and I would've been spared a lifetime of torment.
I had a child when I was 30. One would think I was mature enough for this role, but I wasn't. I was terribly hurt by my abusive parents and never realised I would act out my own traumas on my son. I've learnt a lot ever since, but what is done cannot be undone. I love my son so much I would do anything for him but if I could go back in time I would never choose this path. FOR HIS SAKE! He is so nervous even if I tell him I love him and accept him, but god only knows how many mistakes I made that made him an insecure, nervous and anxious young man. I have social phobia, BPD, PTSD and I believe biology should make such people infertile to stop the disaster of repeating the same pattern over and over again. I am still healing from what I've experienced, but it will never be 100% ok, minds of abused children are altered irreversibly.
Brave brave comment to make. Appreciate the sincerity.
You are still better then you think and better then most of parents out there . atleast you accepting it and if u accepting it means you are aware and can make changes !
You gotta admit @Rachela Ou, sometimes he makes you smile.
You can change your mind, even after being damaged from abuse. Meditation is brain altering, and it takes a lot of discipline, but it is possible to heal your brain.
At least you are avare of this which means you can still ask for forgiveness and make it better some People never realize or admit it.
I don't personally want kids because at least in America, it's just not financially feasible anymore.
Rent is expensive, college education is very expensive, and healthcare is even worse. Why would I bring more humans into this world if I cannot guarantee that I'll be able to support them? Most young people in America are so underpaid that having kids just isn't a responsible decision anymore, and I don't think that will change any time soon. Just giving birth to a kid costs like $10,000 even with insurance, and that's ONLY the birth.
I love my kids but regret having them because of their mother who only got married to me in order to have children. That was her no. 1 motivation and of course that's bound to result in a failed marriage. She never loved me and I was always lowest on her list of priorities after our kids, her parents, her siblings, her female friends, and our pets. She would blame me for everything and always play the victim role. We were never aligned on parenting, either. I should never have entered into a relationship with her, but I was blinded by attraction and had low self-esteem at the time.
Yes, Those are exactly the reasons why I am not having kids. Thanks for putting that out.
Yes. Exactly. Thank you for coming out and saying the truth despite others unwillingness to accept it. There will be a lot of criticism because people simply can’t accept that they’ve made a mistake and have not done the work it takes to be the great person they claim to be, and how this has negatively impacted the people around them. No one wants to take responsibility, seems to be human nature.
I also always say, there’s enough people in the world, and not enough love for them. Humanity is our family, so if you can afford to support another human being, offer it to those who are already here and have none.
Huge correlation with intelligence and not having children.
His last reason is so fucking true.
We have no friends on this earth.
I have children and I completely regret it. It is very labor intensive and I came from a dysfunctional background and didn't realize it completely until I saw certain behaviors mirrored back to me in my children. On one hand, it pushed me to heal at a greater pace but there are times where I didn't get certain things from home to be able to give to them. It can be a bittersweet feeling and if I had it to do over knowing what I know now, I wouldn't of brought them into this horrible planet!
I'm 21 but I've decided that kids are not in my future. My life will be focused on healing my disfunction and putting myself first. I always thought I would be able to vicariously live through any of my future children, but now I realise it's cruel to bring kids into this world out of vanity or for therapy. It's good you are self aware though, my mum never admitted to me that she regret having me, but I could always sense it. I wish you and your kids well❤❤❤
@@Hannah-y2z trust me. Its the best move.
None of his three reasons are the most important reasons not to have children. Life is full of suffering, constant uncertainty, most of the time the horrors of old age, and death. Spare children from that. THAT IS THE NUMBER ONE REASON.
Indeed, the overpopulation argument is utter b.s that all antinatalists repeat non-stop on YT (agenda behind for sure) ... the real reason is suffering : we should not suffer in life otherwise, this is really a hell that no one should visit from any dimension !
His supporting points are :
1. World is overcrowded already
2. There is also lot of sufferings and pain in this world,which is not at all worth it to experience.