@@PifchoBG fighting is part of what makes us human. In my opinion, we must develop a healthy relationship with it and learn to “play fight” with respect and love. Otherwise, we will fight in ways that lead to death
You need financial independence and the ability to make money in order to leave an abusive situation. A lot of children who are put on psych drugs as minors who are then disabled by these drugs end up in these types of impossible situations.
It's not just about keeping quiet, but not *show* that you're more confident, and wise to _leaving._ Just don't show it, either. Not when swimming with sharks, anyhow.
I'm 32 and in this exact situation. I truly feel like my family would rather I unalive myself than have me break free of their scapegoat role. They have completely isolated me. I hate them, but I feel so bonded to them. I have no immediate way out.
I partly relate to this and it has gotten better for me. Maybe just try to make really small steps and eventually they're bound to amount to something tangible. I'm rooting for you.
So sorry you experienced this Chris. I've experienced a different type of challenge but what I found out later in life is to forgive my family members. They did their best and don't know better. That actually helped me a lot. Anyways, you know what they say, they say the best revenge is to live well.
They might control your circumstances but they cant control your mind. You can try to develop a self but be very careful to not upset them. That’s what I have been doing stuck living with my abusers but doing my trauma work.
I've found that it's incredibly important to trust yourself, above all, especially your gut and your feelings. I've endured terrible situations where people adjacent to me have implored me to endure. People have told me to stick out terrible working environments. People have told me to continue living with them, above all. People have told me to not feel my feelings, not trust my judgment - and every time it's been a terrible mistake. If I'd listened to MYSELF more, I would've gotten out of those terrible places quicker. It's a tricky balance to achieve because sometimes you have to conceal yourself from evil people. Always though, you are your own best friend.
@@AtlantisIslander246 Be very wary of someone who is contradicting your own insights if you really took the time to self reflect and come up with them... If it's the case you're usually dealing with someone really toxic.
You have excellent timing Daniel. I'm moving away from my parents soon and this was exactly what I needed to hear. I tried running away before but I only ended up more indebted to them. Now I've got a career and savings of my own so that I will be safe regardless. I thought it was impossible for all my life and now that I'm actually ready to leave it's so scary but I'm proud of myself. Thank you❤❤❤❤
From my experience, it is really devastating to fight and seek revenge against people who harmed us, traumatized us, and gaslit us, especially when we have a lot of other more debilitating issues to deal with (personally, I am healing from my "OCD" while worrying about my dad's ill health, my studies and my career when I already feel sooooo behind) that demand more of our immediate attention. We have to tame the anger and need for vengeance while working towards moving further and further away from these ppl. Occupy our minds with meaningful stuff that are aligned with our values, and don't let our occupation with getting back at our enemies interfere or even harm us and those around us who love and care for us. They are not worth our time and energy. Again, speaking from my own personal experience. Thanks Daniel once again for showing what a valuable being you are.
My friend was put on psych meds when he was 21 and enforced by his parents. Whenever he tried to push back about his situation, they either threatened to section him or they actually sectioned him to a mental institute. He eventually died from the toxity of all the meds they had him on. Leason to be learned....get out and stay out. ASAP.
Thinking long term is very important as you said . If you think and act strategically, one they you will leave the bad situation. Another advices : 1)Get rid of the shame : it is hard to think clearly if you are always ashamed of yourself 2) Have compassion towards yourself : If you are in a bad situation you will make mistakes. Be okay with it. You arent dumb, you arent a failure. Have compassion towards yourself 3) Dont compare yourself with your peers that have healthy families
Dear Daniel, I hope you will see this comment. I'm from France and It's the very first time I leave a comment on a UA-cam Channel, I have found your videos at the right time I just refused to go to therapy convinced there was another way to heal... Everything you say make a lot of sense and no doubt you are a genuine human been, I used to journal but you help me understand what and where to look at to direct my focus and energy for my personal growth... Thank you and leave this comment to let you know how much your dedication is helpful no matter the age the situation or the nationality you are doing a universal therapeutic work.
@@smegaroneim a political junkie, so to me some moral leaders would be Norman Finkelstein, Ralph Nader, Noam Chomsky. People who encourage deep critical thinking. I feel like Daniel has insight into psychology that even those people i listed could learn from.
Crazy. The day this video came out, I was searching for videos about creating an exit plan. I didn't find this until, or UA-cam found it for me, 4 days later. Excellent advice. Thank you, Daniel.
Emotionally I’m so ready to get out. Financially not so much lmao. Not being able to work enough because of disability makes this so much harder. And I’ve definitely made the mistake of being too authentic. I’m trying to do more research but I think there is also some part of me that is scared of looking into some options because I don’t want to keep running into dead ends and I very much need the carrot to keep my hope alive. A big part of me is also afraid of getting into a situation where I’m even more unhappy.
@@justmadeit2 i can’t say I 100% agree with that because at least you have the ability to free yourself from that prison. If you’re limited by disabilities you’re at the mercy of other people to open doors for you and get you accommodations
"They just didn't have it in them" *parents actively give the supportive healthy love to golden child sibling* *This actively disproves the "they didn't know/couldnt/" platitude enablers always make* BULL. FUCKING. SHIT. It was their choice to hurt us and that is not an easy thing for most people to come to terms with. Its even worse nowadays because of how cliquish and hostile and hypocritical everyone is so its hard enough to earn money and get away.
This was my story. I escaped my family and country. Interestingly, this only became known to me while now in my forties. I worked very hard as a pupil and student. All of this was not premeditated, but subconscious.
Meet yourself where you're at. And don't give up guys and gals, I agree with not using drugs, but if you're an addict don't pretend your addiction is all your fault. Step one is radical acceptance and if you're going to use, choose your drugs wisely ❤ I'm an alcoholic and cigarette addict those drugs are bad, weed can be good or bad, mushrooms have brought me much clarity and helped me to quit adderall and cocaine but we all must find OUR WAY ❤
Daniel, no pressure (and I mean that), but you are keeping me alive. I was hurt by "adhd meds" and sadly found your via the algorithm too late. I hope you know what tremendous help and fundamental truth you are contributing to the world. How different my life would have turned out if I had met someone like you instead of all those mindless drones acting out their own childhood traumas and coping mechanisms.
@TheDavveponken what a great way to word it ! Human kind is a general assembly of individualistic, yet zombie like drama queens. It's foreseeable and repetitive. Very boring. While life as such- especially for sensitive people - is so .. alive.
@@annelbeab8124 Thank you! Why yes, and such a shame that they would rather shame us for our vibrance than curiously try to learn how to take part in it.
The part about spending money to avoid achieving financial stability is me literally. Something in me is terrified of what will happen once there is safety in my life. But I will make it happen, even if it swallows up the rest of my youth. Healing must happen at any cost.
@pod9363 you will feel so much more yourhful then and it will stay with you. Not asking for permission to be alive, is sanity and sanity rejuvenates. Youth in terms of age is completely overrated and often rather bothersome.
Hola Daniel, no tienes idea de cuánto me he sentido identificada y validada a partir de ver todas las historias , perspectivas e ideas que nos traes a la mesa para reflexionar... Me has ayudado mucho a dar pasos importantes en mi vida para precisamente salir de esas situaciones imposibles y mejorar mi vida, muchas gracias por existir, y ser tan generoso con tus experiencias que nos cuentas, no tienes idea de a cuánta gente ayudas haciendo todo esto... saludos desde Chihuahua, México!
Great video. Just had contact with my divorced father and mother and I have recognized I need to stay away from away as they do my no good and I need to develop for myself.
Yes, sadly I didn't understand this until I was an adult. They cause depression and make your life miserable then benefit by calling you crazy and making you look bad. If their kid is dead its like a dream come true. They can milk that until they are dead.
You seem like such a kind soul. Thank you for your videos. They have been very healing for me. Hopefully, you can visit Uruguay one day. Thank you for your work. It is helping people.
Why do you always try to preach on Daniel's channel? Have some respect dude. Watch his video instead of always commenting as soon as he uploads just so you can expose your channel. So wack. I used to follow you but I realized that you haven't healed enough to be preaching about Nabuse. Go take some time off and focus on your mind instead of your channel. Smh
@@wizardz7199 This.. The net is full Dr.Ramani clones who repeat basic sh*t that people already know.. VERY wack indeed.. Most of them havent even solved their own trauma , but try to teach others what to do.. what a joke.. YT needs to ban/ get rid of 'm..
It is interesting that you mention cigarettes because I quit smoking and all this past trauma came to the surfaces of my mind after about 3 months of not smoking. I've now been dealing with hard memories, traumatic memories and my toxic family. And seeing my C -PTSD symptoms and trauma symptoms has been hard cause I've hid from the world and people and my feelings all my life. But your channel and a few others help a lot in dealing with this alone. Thank you for being authentic.
Thank you daniel. Thank you for you. Everytime i look at your channel i feel swarmed and full of love and true warmth for you and for existence. You are an amazing person. Thank you.
I like how you mention long term strategies. I would add doing inner work too. I see how my father, doing many of these exact long term strategies, got out of his family's abuse and poverty situation. However he recreated much of the abuse with his children, because he never treated the emotional issues. But I get that the topic of this video is mainly how to survive. Thank you for your work!
6:11 So true. That's why staying with an abuser when you don't have to is always a mistake. You can adjust to many types of pain, even the loss of a loved one. But an abuser will never allow you to adjust to them. They're the most toxic thing on the planet.
realizing you werent able to make it out of your parents house of horrors, and on your way to a lonely miserable death on the streets. its like the turtles you see that hatch and try to make it out to sea, except many get eaten alive... its exactly the same. life gives no fucks. this is the universe we live in. either you are born lucky or not.
I feel like I'm in an impossible situation as a disabled trans person in the southern US. It's a really terrible environment for me, but I'm totally reliant on family for housing and I have no way of saving money or developing financial independence. I would love to move to a safer state or even better a different country but I just cannot monetarily and I've had therapists tell me they can't help me mentally because they can't fix my money issues.
not sure this is exactly fitting, but for some reason i've though of Viktor Frankl's book "Man's Search for Meaning". For those who are unfamiliar, it's about how people in the holocaust survived by holding on to meaning and hope of salvation and a better future. those that didn't have any meaning to hold on to, didn't survive. Maybe it's the internal part of having a long term plan, that one has to actually believe there's a point and hope, otherwise the pain and suffering morph more and more into despair. Though on the other hand, i don't blame anyone losing hope at times since there are countless desperate and highly unfair situations. To quote a fictional character: "In the darkest times, hope is something you give yourself. That is the meaning of Inner Strength"
I am currently coming out of an impossible situation. Having ones inner compass set and keeping on keeping on might work. Finding spirituality to abstract some unachievable aspects and goals for the time being can help too.
My experience is that when you suggest something really possible to people who say there is no way out, instead of grabbing it for their dear lives or at least investigating it, they would put all their energy to deminish it and prove it back to you why its not really such a good way out in order to find themselves comfortably being again in a situation "with no way out".
I can relate to the situation you described, and I agree with your perspective. Sometimes people may want to see us fail, or they may project their own insecurities onto us. That’s why I think it’s important to learn to trust our own intuition and conduct independent research, rather than relying solely on others' opinions or second-hand knowledge. At least this learning process and self-discovery can help us confront the fears that may be holding us back and ultimately lead us toward a brighter future. I still believe that there is always a ray of hope waiting for each one of us at the end of the tunnel, but we must first learn how to find it ourselves. ❤
I have a friend that takes care of people that can’t take care of themselves at a hospital and her long term goals are kind of scary. She seems overwhelmed with the cruelty of the world and doesn’t want to live after her pets die. I don’t really know how to help her because she thinks she knows everything.
@@cesium7907 - I don’t think she can keep doing it. Says there is too much pain in the world. I dunno. Can’t blame her because she hears the worst stuff that happened to people when she is alone with people near the end of their lives.
Incredible story! So sorry you had to go through those things. I did as well. This is a really good video. Very good advice! Thank you so much. 💗💫✨💗💫✨💗💫✨
Re substances, I agree generally but there are a few where scientific research shows that they can be used therapeutically - ketamine, mdma, psychedelics.
Tom you have to acknowledge your role in the housing unaffordability problem as your job is to achieve the highest possible purchase price for a property on behalf of the vendor. This drives up the cost of housing for everyone and continues to exclude first home buyers from entering the market. I would not just be pointing the finger at the Government.
This is what I was looking into on Tuesday in counselling it's like you were a fly on the wall. I lost all my relationships it's just so painful to realise that my very best friend was on their side. Healing is hard but worth it. 5 years no contact without a job I just got fed up one day. Anger helped me.
That feeling to run to free yourself. I was tied to them emotionally. Always going back, being younger. After my divorce still trauma bond. Feel more free and independent now at the age I am 70 feels more of who I always wanted to be.
Excellent advice! With the cost of education going up, I'm hearing more about people being trapped in student loan debt, which can make their situation worse. More people should consider trades as a path to independence and then maybe go to college later.
That's an almost uniquely an USA problem, since in many other countries in the world higher education is much more accessible financially. Though i still agree that more people in general should consider trades before or rather than university\college.
100% facts. In looking to get a masters in speech therapy they told me: $130K minimum (don’t think that included books, fees etc). How can someone possibly afford that? That’s for 2 yrs. A PHd would probably be double. Unreal. This guy got his education a long time ago, most likely. It’s a tough world out there right now financially in every way😢
Hello sir, thank you for the quality content you produce, I have been watching your videos here and there approximately since last year. Do you think you could make a video on how to also take responsibility while working with inner critisizm? I am an individual working in therapy right now and one of the issues im facing is some strong narcissistic tendencies along with the late realization that I am also neurodivergent and have been born with some physical issues which explained years of struggle in certain domains. These combined factors often make me ruminate and follow old patterns of escapism instead of doing the things or taking the actions I know I should be taking to improve my life. Thank you for taking the time to read
Impossible situation vid... Thank you for validating me, your world was my world as a child. In the old song "horse with no name," there is a line in it that reads "but the humans would give no love," which I now understand but didn't in 70s.
The antithesis of healed people, evil people, have a lot to teach us about building an environment around them that suits their desires. Evil people seek power, money status, anything that will allow them to act the way they do towards people with minimal consequence. Take a page from their book because you as a person who is trying to heal have a way easier task, which is not got gain power but independence (defensive capabilities rather than offensive capabilities). Evil people understand the importance of their life situation, so why shouldn't you?
i received an email from my other asking my forgiveness after 4 months of no contact. it’s so difficult. so many times in the past i forgive and i try to think things will be different but she can’t help herself. devaluing and disrespecting me is what she has habitually done our entire lives. she has so much power over me financially and i have suffered a lifetime of abuse and neglect from her. it’s so hard. i want to think things can get better. i want my son to know his grandmother.. but i can’t trust her. she causes so much trauma. it seems she either neglects or attacks. she’s so rarely kind and loving. i don’t know what to do. i don’t think she is capable of a peaceful respectful relationship. i don’t know if i will write her back.
Hey Daniel! I hoped for a long time that one day you'll maybe do a video on Depersonalisation and Derealisation (Disorder) I know it's a result of Trauma, but experiencing this state since years is so alienating.. especially because there is rather little information about it, it would mean the world to me if you could share your experience with DDD DP/DR. It so often comes with trauma, but it's not talked about much. Kind regards Delia
An impossible situation may also be reframed as a blessing. The possibility of growth is in the difficulties of life. Presently, the world is in an impossible situation. Why? The micro mirrors the macro because is really one thing. What is really going on beneath the surface? What is it that humanity is missing? Can we dig deeper?
Have you thought of just taking the audio component of your videos here and putting it on a podcast? It makes it easier to listen to on the go. If you need technical help I'm happy to aid.
“Don’t fight with people who don’t love you and don’t respect you”
Sage guidance!
you should not fight with anyone, with ppl who love you too.
@@PifchoBG fighting is part of what makes us human.
In my opinion, we must develop a healthy relationship with it and learn to “play fight” with respect and love.
Otherwise, we will fight in ways that lead to death
@@nametabekul good perspective
Totally agree 👍
@@PifchoBGBullshit. Sometimes a fight needs to be had for your own sake. Otherwise it domino effects into violence or worse.
You need financial independence and the ability to make money in order to leave an abusive situation. A lot of children who are put on psych drugs as minors who are then disabled by these drugs end up in these types of impossible situations.
Exatamente! A psiquiatria é cúmplice da família! É a maior covardia que pode acontecer a alguém...principalmente às crianças!
@@hiya1399 well said
So true, “be very private about the self that you are developing.”6:27.😢
It's not just about keeping quiet, but not *show* that you're more confident, and wise to _leaving._ Just don't show it, either. Not when swimming with sharks, anyhow.
I'm 32 and in this exact situation. I truly feel like my family would rather I unalive myself than have me break free of their scapegoat role. They have completely isolated me. I hate them, but I feel so bonded to them. I have no immediate way out.
I partly relate to this and it has gotten better for me. Maybe just try to make really small steps and eventually they're bound to amount to something tangible. I'm rooting for you.
So sorry you experienced this Chris. I've experienced a different type of challenge but what I found out later in life is to forgive my family members. They did their best and don't know better. That actually helped me a lot. Anyways, you know what they say, they say the best revenge is to live well.
@@Silencio1126 Neither.
They might control your circumstances but they cant control your mind. You can try to develop a self but be very careful to not upset them. That’s what I have been doing stuck living with my abusers but doing my trauma work.
Same situation here. It’s been years and feel good they are not here abusing me.
You r really a rare soul daniel. Bless u. We can count peoples in this world like u.
I've found that it's incredibly important to trust yourself, above all, especially your gut and your feelings.
I've endured terrible situations where people adjacent to me have implored me to endure. People have told me to stick out terrible working environments. People have told me to continue living with them, above all. People have told me to not feel my feelings, not trust my judgment - and every time it's been a terrible mistake. If I'd listened to MYSELF more, I would've gotten out of those terrible places quicker.
It's a tricky balance to achieve because sometimes you have to conceal yourself from evil people. Always though, you are your own best friend.
Exactly!!
One of my biggest failures. Not trusting insights.
@@AtlantisIslander246 resonance
@@AtlantisIslander246 Be very wary of someone who is contradicting your own insights if you really took the time to self reflect and come up with them... If it's the case you're usually dealing with someone really toxic.
You have excellent timing Daniel. I'm moving away from my parents soon and this was exactly what I needed to hear. I tried running away before but I only ended up more indebted to them. Now I've got a career and savings of my own so that I will be safe regardless. I thought it was impossible for all my life and now that I'm actually ready to leave it's so scary but I'm proud of myself. Thank you❤❤❤❤
From my experience, it is really devastating to fight and seek revenge against people who harmed us, traumatized us, and gaslit us, especially when we have a lot of other more debilitating issues to deal with (personally, I am healing from my "OCD" while worrying about my dad's ill health, my studies and my career when I already feel sooooo behind) that demand more of our immediate attention.
We have to tame the anger and need for vengeance while working towards moving further and further away from these ppl. Occupy our minds with meaningful stuff that are aligned with our values, and don't let our occupation with getting back at our enemies interfere or even harm us and those around us who love and care for us. They are not worth our time and energy.
Again, speaking from my own personal experience. Thanks Daniel once again for showing what a valuable being you are.
My friend was put on psych meds when he was 21 and enforced by his parents. Whenever he tried to push back about his situation, they either threatened to section him or they actually sectioned him to a mental institute. He eventually died from the toxity of all the meds they had him on.
Leason to be learned....get out and stay out. ASAP.
Wtf that’s horrible, I can’t believe they would be so incompetent that they gave him lethal drugs?
Inocente está sendo voce! Voce acha mesmo que drogas psiquiátricas sao leves???? Podem enlouquecer alguém literalmente!!!!
@@abcdefzhij It happens.
Thinking long term is very important as you said . If you think and act strategically, one they you will leave the bad situation. Another advices :
1)Get rid of the shame : it is hard to think clearly if you are always ashamed of yourself
2) Have compassion towards yourself : If you are in a bad situation you will make mistakes. Be okay with it. You arent dumb, you arent a failure. Have compassion towards yourself
3) Dont compare yourself with your peers that have healthy families
Get stronger in any possible way - Add do not subtract, most self help is about subtraction, you on the other hand should ADD
Dear Daniel, I hope you will see this comment. I'm from France and It's the very first time I leave a comment on a UA-cam Channel, I have found your videos at the right time I just refused to go to therapy convinced there was another way to heal... Everything you say make a lot of sense and no doubt you are a genuine human been, I used to journal but you help me understand what and where to look at to direct my focus and energy for my personal growth...
Thank you and leave this comment to let you know how much your dedication is helpful no matter the age the situation or the nationality you are doing a universal therapeutic work.
Merci beaucoup!
Thank you Daniel. Youre one of maybe 5 people i think of when it comes to living truthfully. This message is exactly what i needed to hear.
@@smegaroneim a political junkie, so to me some moral leaders would be Norman Finkelstein, Ralph Nader, Noam Chomsky. People who encourage deep critical thinking. I feel like Daniel has insight into psychology that even those people i listed could learn from.
Its not a lot of people. They are a rare but precious breed. Genuinely, they help get me through the day.
@@jane9469 Thanks for replying! I'll be checking them out, anything to get through these days
Crazy. The day this video came out, I was searching for videos about creating an exit plan. I didn't find this until, or UA-cam found it for me, 4 days later. Excellent advice. Thank you, Daniel.
Emotionally I’m so ready to get out. Financially not so much lmao. Not being able to work enough because of disability makes this so much harder. And I’ve definitely made the mistake of being too authentic. I’m trying to do more research but I think there is also some part of me that is scared of looking into some options because I don’t want to keep running into dead ends and I very much need the carrot to keep my hope alive.
A big part of me is also afraid of getting into a situation where I’m even more unhappy.
The worst prison is the one inside our own heads
@@justmadeit2 i can’t say I 100% agree with that because at least you have the ability to free yourself from that prison. If you’re limited by disabilities you’re at the mercy of other people to open doors for you and get you accommodations
Similar things here, it's scary for us. You're not alone.
This is golden. Nothing beats advice from someone who is experienced
Daniel Mackler is a great resource on UA-cam
Thank you, this is a *real talk* , so rarely to find even on good channels.
Thank you, Daniel.
"They just didn't have it in them"
*parents actively give the supportive healthy love to golden child sibling*
*This actively disproves the "they didn't know/couldnt/" platitude enablers always make*
BULL. FUCKING. SHIT. It was their choice to hurt us and that is not an easy thing for most people to come to terms with.
Its even worse nowadays because of how cliquish and hostile and hypocritical everyone is so its hard enough to earn money and get away.
This was my story. I escaped my family and country. Interestingly, this only became known to me while now in my forties. I worked very hard as a pupil and student. All of this was not premeditated, but subconscious.
Meet yourself where you're at. And don't give up guys and gals, I agree with not using drugs, but if you're an addict don't pretend your addiction is all your fault. Step one is radical acceptance and if you're going to use, choose your drugs wisely ❤ I'm an alcoholic and cigarette addict those drugs are bad, weed can be good or bad, mushrooms have brought me much clarity and helped me to quit adderall and cocaine but we all must find OUR WAY ❤
Daniel, no pressure (and I mean that), but you are keeping me alive. I was hurt by "adhd meds" and sadly found your via the algorithm too late. I hope you know what tremendous help and fundamental truth you are contributing to the world. How different my life would have turned out if I had met someone like you instead of all those mindless drones acting out their own childhood traumas and coping mechanisms.
@TheDavveponken what a great way to word it ! Human kind is a general assembly of individualistic, yet zombie like drama queens. It's foreseeable and repetitive. Very boring.
While life as such- especially for sensitive people - is so .. alive.
@@annelbeab8124 Thank you! Why yes, and such a shame that they would rather shame us for our vibrance than curiously try to learn how to take part in it.
Being well will transform your external living experience! You’ve hit the nail on the head. Love your content, Daniel.
The part about spending money to avoid achieving financial stability is me literally. Something in me is terrified of what will happen once there is safety in my life. But I will make it happen, even if it swallows up the rest of my youth. Healing must happen at any cost.
@pod9363 you will feel so much more yourhful then and it will stay with you.
Not asking for permission to be alive, is sanity and sanity rejuvenates.
Youth in terms of age is completely overrated and often rather bothersome.
Hola Daniel, no tienes idea de cuánto me he sentido identificada y validada a partir de ver todas las historias , perspectivas e ideas que nos traes a la mesa para reflexionar... Me has ayudado mucho a dar pasos importantes en mi vida para precisamente salir de esas situaciones imposibles y mejorar mi vida, muchas gracias por existir, y ser tan generoso con tus experiencias que nos cuentas, no tienes idea de a cuánta gente ayudas haciendo todo esto... saludos desde Chihuahua, México!
I really cannot explain how much I needed to think about these stuff in an organized way you presented. Thank you so much Daniel!
"i had to be who they wanted me to be, in order to survive and meet their approval and get whatever crumbs of love i could get from them'.
Great video. Just had contact with my divorced father and mother and I have recognized I need to stay away from away as they do my no good and I need to develop for myself.
My mom would love it, if I deleted myself. The amount of pity she would get.
Same here!
Same smh 💔
Same. This is why do whatever you can to outlive her
Yes, sadly I didn't understand this until I was an adult. They cause depression and make your life miserable then benefit by calling you crazy and making you look bad. If their kid is dead its like a dream come true. They can milk that until they are dead.
You seem like such a kind soul. Thank you for your videos. They have been very healing for me. Hopefully, you can visit Uruguay one day. Thank you for your work. It is helping people.
To get out of an impossible situation, you must recognise that it isn’t really impossible. You must believe in yourself.
I find following Robert Greene is the best advice..
Why do you always try to preach on Daniel's channel? Have some respect dude. Watch his video instead of always commenting as soon as he uploads just so you can expose your channel. So wack. I used to follow you but I realized that you haven't healed enough to be preaching about Nabuse. Go take some time off and focus on your mind instead of your channel. Smh
so ur saying either change ur perspective on how u look at it or walk away because after all "impossible" is impossible
@@wizardz7199 This..
The net is full Dr.Ramani clones who repeat basic sh*t that people already know.. VERY wack indeed..
Most of them havent even solved their own trauma , but try to teach others what to do.. what a joke..
YT needs to ban/ get rid of 'm..
So, is it impossible or improbable?!? Please be specific & refrain from using confounding statements. 🤷
I absolutely loved this video......❣️💯
I love how you think with us.
You’re one of my allies, Daniel ❤️
It is interesting that you mention cigarettes because I quit smoking and all this past trauma came to the surfaces of my mind after about 3 months of not smoking. I've now been dealing with hard memories, traumatic memories and my toxic family. And seeing my C -PTSD symptoms and trauma symptoms has been hard cause I've hid from the world and people and my feelings all my life. But your channel and a few others help a lot in dealing with this alone. Thank you for being authentic.
Going through the exact same thing
You can do it! All this coming up is a great help in doing trauma work, even if it feels awful.
Always appreciate the insight
Thank you daniel. Thank you for you. Everytime i look at your channel i feel swarmed and full of love and true warmth for you and for existence. You are an amazing person. Thank you.
And in going thru your trauma, always re-evaluate you’re not becoming a monster in the process;)
staying "strong". redefining strong. builds hope. keep doing in the present. now. now,now......
nice job Daniel. thank-you.
Thanks, Daniel. Good food for thought.
Have a good day, and be safe.
❤
Thank you so much for posting this, the timing was eerie but perfect ❤
Thank you Daniel. Wonderful advice. You are truly helping people! God bless you!
Thank you for this Video. Very authentic as always ❤.
Thank you for this.
I like how you mention long term strategies.
I would add doing inner work too. I see how my father, doing many of these exact long term strategies, got out of his family's abuse and poverty situation. However he recreated much of the abuse with his children, because he never treated the emotional issues. But I get that the topic of this video is mainly how to survive. Thank you for your work!
My abusive ex had that "Rebelliousness Radar" you speak of.
6:11 So true. That's why staying with an abuser when you don't have to is always a mistake. You can adjust to many types of pain, even the loss of a loved one. But an abuser will never allow you to adjust to them. They're the most toxic thing on the planet.
I joined the usaf and became intelligence analyst and then got my degree and it’s uphill from there
Congrats on breaking contact with narcisistic parents. I'm on my way to do it also.
Wise words
thank you Daniel
realizing you werent able to make it out of your parents house of horrors, and on your way to a lonely miserable death on the streets. its like the turtles you see that hatch and try to make it out to sea, except many get eaten alive... its exactly the same. life gives no fucks. this is the universe we live in. either you are born lucky or not.
I feel like I'm in an impossible situation as a disabled trans person in the southern US. It's a really terrible environment for me, but I'm totally reliant on family for housing and I have no way of saving money or developing financial independence. I would love to move to a safer state or even better a different country but I just cannot monetarily and I've had therapists tell me they can't help me mentally because they can't fix my money issues.
How old are you?
I feel stuck with ptsd
not sure this is exactly fitting, but for some reason i've though of Viktor Frankl's book "Man's Search for Meaning". For those who are unfamiliar, it's about how people in the holocaust survived by holding on to meaning and hope of salvation and a better future. those that didn't have any meaning to hold on to, didn't survive.
Maybe it's the internal part of having a long term plan, that one has to actually believe there's a point and hope, otherwise the pain and suffering morph more and more into despair. Though on the other hand, i don't blame anyone losing hope at times since there are countless desperate and highly unfair situations.
To quote a fictional character: "In the darkest times, hope is something you give yourself. That is the meaning of Inner Strength"
Thanks for another excellent and helpful video Daniel!
🎉He Is The best life adviser I’ve ever come across in 40 years!!!
I am currently coming out of an impossible situation.
Having ones inner compass set and keeping on keeping on might work.
Finding spirituality to abstract some unachievable aspects and goals for the time being can help too.
this is really good advice! i tried telling my parents when i finally was born and they wouldn't have it! they wanted me back! they hurt me!
My experience is that when you suggest something really possible to people who say there is no way out, instead of grabbing it for their dear lives or at least investigating it, they would put all their energy to deminish it and prove it back to you why its not really such a good way out in order to find themselves comfortably being again in a situation "with no way out".
I can relate to the situation you described, and I agree with your perspective. Sometimes people may want to see us fail, or they may project their own insecurities onto us. That’s why I think it’s important to learn to trust our own intuition and conduct independent research, rather than relying solely on others' opinions or second-hand knowledge. At least this learning process and self-discovery can help us confront the fears that may be holding us back and ultimately lead us toward a brighter future. I still believe that there is always a ray of hope waiting for each one of us at the end of the tunnel, but we must first learn how to find it ourselves. ❤
I just want someone help me think clearly, my mind is froze i can’t do anything literally and im 31 it’s terrifying…
wise words
Great advice, thank you 🙏
I have a friend that takes care of people that can’t take care of themselves at a hospital and her long term goals are kind of scary. She seems overwhelmed with the cruelty of the world and doesn’t want to live after her pets die. I don’t really know how to help her because she thinks she knows everything.
She could get new pets. Animals need her.
@@cesium7907 - I don’t think she can keep doing it. Says there is too much pain in the world. I dunno. Can’t blame her because she hears the worst stuff that happened to people when she is alone with people near the end of their lives.
@@chrisdryer I understand. :(
Thanks, you're perfect
Incredible story! So sorry you had to go through those things. I did as well. This is a really good video. Very good advice! Thank you so much. 💗💫✨💗💫✨💗💫✨
First step to escape is always bravest
Thank you, these are wonderful topics you're the best!
hey Daniel,
this is a really excellent video, and it is definitely delivering several messages that I needed to hear
Thank you
Re substances, I agree generally but there are a few where scientific research shows that they can be used therapeutically - ketamine, mdma, psychedelics.
Tom you have to acknowledge your role in the housing unaffordability problem as your job is to achieve the highest possible purchase price for a property on behalf of the vendor. This drives up the cost of housing for everyone and continues to exclude first home buyers from entering the market. I would not just be pointing the finger at the Government.
This is what I was looking into on Tuesday in counselling it's like you were a fly on the wall. I lost all my relationships it's just so painful to realise that my very best friend was on their side. Healing is hard but worth it. 5 years no contact without a job I just got fed up one day. Anger helped me.
That feeling to run to free yourself. I was tied to them emotionally. Always going back, being younger. After my divorce still trauma bond. Feel more free and independent now at the age I am 70 feels more of who I always wanted to be.
Excellent advice! With the cost of education going up, I'm hearing more about people being trapped in student loan debt, which can make their situation worse. More people should consider trades as a path to independence and then maybe go to college later.
That's an almost uniquely an USA problem, since in many other countries in the world higher education is much more accessible financially. Though i still agree that more people in general should consider trades before or rather than university\college.
100% facts. In looking to get a masters in speech therapy they told me: $130K minimum (don’t think that included books, fees etc). How can someone possibly afford that? That’s for 2 yrs. A PHd would probably be double. Unreal.
This guy got his education a long time ago, most likely. It’s a tough world out there right now financially in every way😢
Thanks. Right what I need. Wish you posted it after Shabbos though :P
I have depression for a decade. I am starting to think only meds can gelp at this point
Check Dr Amen's website. Drugs are not the answer.
Hello sir, thank you for the quality content you produce, I have been watching your videos here and there approximately since last year.
Do you think you could make a video on how to also take responsibility while working with inner critisizm? I am an individual working in therapy right now and one of the issues im facing is some strong narcissistic tendencies along with the late realization that I am also neurodivergent and have been born with some physical issues which explained years of struggle in certain domains.
These combined factors often make me ruminate and follow old patterns of escapism instead of doing the things or taking the actions I know I should be taking to improve my life. Thank you for taking the time to read
Daniel figured out how to get out because it was the 90s…yes being a white guy helps but seriously we are dealing with a way different economy
Having a strong social support system. mentors, coaches, therapists, pastors, friends etc
How about having no one
Impossible situation vid... Thank you for validating me, your world was my world as a child. In the old song "horse with no name," there is a line in it that reads "but the humans would give no love," which I now understand but didn't in 70s.
Angel on Earth i swear to god
Education was key for me to give me agency and stability. It changed my life.
Even after you fall off a cliff, you can still change one thing, your attitude.
😢Sad but true… You have to be quiet 🤫, get a job, save 💰 , sell or leave everything behind, & Leave on a bus 🚌 🎫 .
The antithesis of healed people, evil people, have a lot to teach us about building an environment around them that suits their desires. Evil people seek power, money status, anything that will allow them to act the way they do towards people with minimal consequence. Take a page from their book because you as a person who is trying to heal have a way easier task, which is not got gain power but independence (defensive capabilities rather than offensive capabilities). Evil people understand the importance of their life situation, so why shouldn't you?
i received an email from my other asking my forgiveness after 4 months of no contact. it’s so difficult. so many times in the past i forgive and i try to think things will be different but she can’t help herself. devaluing and disrespecting me is what she has habitually done our entire lives. she has so much power over me financially and i have suffered a lifetime of abuse and neglect from her. it’s so hard. i want to think things can get better. i want my son to know his grandmother.. but i can’t trust her. she causes so much trauma. it seems she either neglects or attacks. she’s so rarely kind and loving. i don’t know what to do. i don’t think she is capable of a peaceful respectful relationship. i don’t know if i will write her back.
If there is any doubt in your mind, then I would say the answer is no.
Don’t
No need to forgive.
Morgan Freeman said it: " The bus passes every day"
Hey Daniel!
I hoped for a long time that one day you'll maybe do a video on Depersonalisation and Derealisation (Disorder)
I know it's a result of Trauma, but experiencing this state since years is so alienating.. especially because there is rather little information about it, it would mean the world to me if you could share your experience with DDD DP/DR. It so often comes with trauma, but it's not talked about much.
Kind regards
Delia
An impossible situation may also be reframed as a blessing. The possibility of growth is in the difficulties of life.
Presently, the world is in an impossible situation. Why? The micro mirrors the macro because is really one thing. What is really going on beneath the surface? What is it that humanity is missing? Can we dig deeper?
i need to go out of the matrix, can you help me !❤
thank you
💜💜💜
Do you have some thoughts on derealisation/depersonalisation?
Have you thought of just taking the audio component of your videos here and putting it on a podcast? It makes it easier to listen to on the go. If you need technical help I'm happy to aid.
Love your honest beautiful videod thanku❤
How do I get out with no allies
We are your allies.
@cesium7907 thanks you are the first to ever respond 😊
@@Nicko-jv3jv ❤🧡💚💙
Hi Daniel!! watching this video, it makes me think about the scapegoat!! Have you ever thought bout a video that describes this schema??
My suggestion is learn English well and find a good VPN. You will find more solutions in an English speaking world.😊