The Kroot are picky eaters | a Warhammer 40k story
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- Опубліковано 3 жов 2024
- A reasonable and respectful debate between a Kroot Shaper and his T'au commander. Preconceived notions will be challenged, authority will be disrespected, my Kroot voice will be evaluated, honestly I'm not 100% happy with it.
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Litany Algorithmicus:
kroot, t'au, space marines, what if the kroot were picky eaters, what if I was inside your walls, what if the t'au were nice guys and had more dietary options for their auxilliaries, they'd probably have conquered the whole galaxy by now or somethin
![[UA] NAVI проти G2 Esports | Blast Premier Fall Final](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/QWlIm4FGESQ/mqdefault.jpg)
Imperium: *smites anyone that bad mouths the emperor*
Tau: "You dare disobey th-"
Kroot: "Yeah"
Tau: "oh, ok"
Meanwhile on a imperial trench:
Guardsman: Sir, is it ok if we stop fighting for a mom-
Commissar: **pops his head like a watermelon**
Bolt pistol goes : *Click-click*
"Should have not outsourced your melee fighting" Unknown Kroot before bailing out on fighting tyranids
Which is funny because the T'au basically saved them from being *WAAAAGGGHHH-ed to death by orks* in the first place.
"Guess you got born in the wrong Sept bitches." Should've been born into the Enclaves.
@@navilluscire2567 that’s Orks not Tyranids…
@@navilluscire2567 Source: Trust Me Bro
Tau sucks and that's a fact.
@@apolloknight9521
Huh, I thought it was tyranids, well that makes sense too, still my point stands.
I mean, a mushroom with that much physical prowess would certainly be good food
If they put them on top of a pizza, it will bethe equivalent to a champignon pizza
@@elsotanodechaz funghi with tuna is pretragu good
Imagine the protein source brotha!
Imagine starting to call everyone "git" from the git-go and starting to get a in a crump once a minute
They're full of Vitamin WAAAAGGGGHH
"our guns still shoot *bullets* for crying out loud"
Thats so stupid yet so understandable at the same time
Just like most of 40k
T'au: Come to think about it...why haven't we given them better ranged weapons that don't suck again? Hell we could build better slug weapons for them while still being on brand! Hook these killer bird dudes up with some *portable rail guns* my earth caste brothers!
Earth caste engineers: ...oh for fucks sake, MORE projects?!
Some Krootox do have pulse weapons iirc. Only some. Cheapskate castes.
@@eyeballpapercut4400 You can't use a pulse rifle as a beat stick, the less advanced guns are sturdier and won't break if you use it to smack something.
I bet if you give Kroot anything more complex than blunderbuss it will be broken within 6 hours.
Their guns are like the material rifle in Gurren Lagann. They can shoot energy blasts or load bullets or darts.
"You people? Ahhh...what do you mean you people?" - Kroot commander during the tropic thunder campaign.
"great for umami"
I laughed out loud
Same here! This Kroot knows what's up.
I wasn't expecting a Kroot to utter the words "Great for umami" but it actually makes a lot of sense.
sorry I'm not familiar with Kroots, what is UMAMI?
@Gandolf TheGray Umami, aka deliciousness or savoriness, is one of five tastes our taste buds identify (the other four being sweet, bitter, salty, and sour).
@@centurionsword2438 Thanks a lot.
To be fair, kroot eating tyranids would just result in vaguely Kroot shaped tyranids down the line.
Shrimp fried gene stealers
yeah but they taste like shit and vomit
And Tyranids would take the Kroot for their evolutionary eating abilities
I could imagine the Kroot and Tyranids having a evolutionary arms race. Right before the Kroot become their own hivemind, and now there's 2 of them.
@@TheWarmachine375 just Tyranid that evolve individually at a faster rate. That's scary - er
I mean no joke, when kroot get to eat space Marines they get absolutely busted
Genes a bit too strong or just get blasted with a bolter?
@@jekabsojarsulskis9740 they literally get strong as a space marine and adopt the traits of said space marine
@@fcomolineiro7596 ah, so basically the usual kroot stick. I thought from your coment that when they do get to munch a space marine, they simply can't handle it.
lets see how jacked a Kroot can get after eating one of the emperor's walking bananas
@@thecommentguy9380 damn I wish to see that
Meanwhile the vespids sit in a waiting room for all eternity
"Please just send us in and let us die we're so irrelavent"
T'au Gue'vesa (human helpers/soldiers): Oh boy, don't we know that feeling, atleast you bug dudes actually get official models!
@@navilluscire2567 Tau: You have your Gue'la gear already, bring your weapons to bear !
(Deploying repainted Imperial Guard models)
@@AAhmou
True, kit bashing is probably the only form they will ever come in. But it would've been nice to have atleast a few unique, custom models of various named gue'vesa characters though.
@@navilluscire2567 I thought there’s already Models for the Gue’vesa.
Hardest "Big Pizzas" ever uttered in existence.
“Watermelon” was a very strong delivery too
Good guy Tau asking their mercenaries what they would prefer to fight/eat and then accepting the constructive criticism.
I'm genuinely surprised there wasn't Red Comet screeching at the end.
“I’m not eating ork, did you see what happen to those humans?” -the kroot probably
HERETIC BURGER!!!
@@toasters10101 Eat BoRgar!
@@toasters10101 OUR TRUE PURPOSE IS CLEAR! EAT! EAT... *BORGARRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!*
DIGGANOBZ
Did humans really try eating an Ork?
It is pretty enjoyable to see the tau trying to approach the kroot in a respectful manner. They can't just threaten the kroot the fight or else. It makes for some pretty fun dialogue.
“I’ll whip them into shape!” said the Shaper.
I see the clever word games you are playing, DreadAnon.
Also considering Kroot powers are kinda like Tyranid-lite, part of me wonders if they are actually descended from an ancient, lost Tyranid scout specimen or something.
No
Not really, they were around before the Tyranids were even near the galaxy
I wouldn't rule out a possibility they share a common ancestor.
@@MrSamulai but the Tyranids are extragalactic
@@dontspeaktoelectrohead1491 there is the theory that the fauna on Catachan maybe tyranid in origin same with the Krakens on Fenris. Like an extremely ancient scout fleet.
nyds make them genestealers and chaos make them cultists, dark eldar make them sadist
Tau Commander:"Fine their are Orks in sector 9 their attacking a food production plant."
Kroot Shaper:"What kind of food production plant?"
Tau Commander:"A chicken nugget factory for the Gue'vesa they are huge fans of poultry meats."
Kroot Shaper:"..."
Shaper: ...Yeah alright, we'll go and deal with the orks, BUT we demand a share of the chicken nuggets afterwards!
T'au: S-sure...no problem. **sweats in battle suit**
Oh I get the joke!! It’s because the Kroot are avians! Hahaha!
To be fair, pretty much all the meat on their native Pech is poultry. I doubt the kroot would care.
@@Xbalanque84 some birds eat other birds so it checks same with humans and monkeys for some cultures
Kroot are explicitly cannibals, they'd be just as fine with humans eating birds as they are with eating humans. Circle of life and all that.
Kroot: "Yeah, well maybe if you learned to hit things with your ha-"
Tau: "Onager Gauntlet."
Literrally a joke made relic just to mock Tau and their inabilty to fight in melee decently.
that's only for the enclaves tho
@@davidmadureira45 not the case actually. The only restriction is that it needs to be a Battlesuit model. It says so on the Tau Empire's page on Wahapedia.
"Okay then, perhaps use knives, OF WHICH THERE ARE NO SUCH THING WITH "YOU PEOPLE"'
@@dank_smirk2ndchannel200 true, but most Tau commanders prefer to stay at long range than engage in Melee Combat.
Fun lore fact: the Kroots actually refuse to eat Tyranids (and Chaos-related stuff for that matter).
Whilst the exact reason why is unknown (as far as I am aware) Kroots can have an "indigestion". An example is the Kroot from Warhammer Quest who ate a morsel of the Blackstone Fortress and suffered extremely powerful hallucinogenic and vomiting as a result, due to the material affecting his genetics like a poison.
Similarly, Tyranid DNA would ultimately result in the Kroot turning either into a mindless beast (a thing they'd like to avoid) or being infected in a similar manner to Genestealer Cultists.
That's where this joke comes from.
Have the kroot ever thought, I don't _have_ to eat what I'm killing? You know, just a thought..
In a piece of lore some Kroots eat deamons and got marked to be hunted for that.
@@Marth667 Oh yeah, they do.
Some just have to...you know...there's teachings in failure.
The Kroot who ate the fragment of the Blackstone Fortress should've been awarded with its species' version of Darwin award, and not eaten by his peers for fear of contracting stupid.
If I remember correctly, if you play as T’au in Dawn of War: Dark Crusade and defeat Chaos, the epilogue will state that the T’au hunted down the Kroots who feasted upon Chaos Cultist since they believe that they’re tainted.
ork pizza?
it makes your stomach go WAAAAAAGGHHHHH!
In fairness it's not cannibalism if they aren't of the same species. Then again, Kroots also don't have a problem with actual cannibalism. In fact, the whole species thing gets complicated when it comes to the Kroots, now that I think about it.
Can it be considered "cannibalism" if they don't recognize the creature to be eaten as being anything but a bipedal animal ?
@@thewallachianbard6975 Nah ! They're good ! Eating your fallen comrades is considered proper burial in their society !
... In fact, they're still trying to wrap their head around why they're supposed to NOT eat their fellow Tau...
@@pierre-mariecaulliez6285 people tend to forget that half the reason of cannibalism being bad is because it's usually done on a corpse that can't consent or on a human against their will.
Kroots kinda want to be eaten
@@NiCoNiCoNiColathis is the biggest nonsense I've read for a while. No one cares what you think about cannibalism because you are dead. Cannibalism is problematic because high implications of murder right before as well as cultural and religious stigma. Cannibalism is not even forbidden by law in most countries, and very good it is not, because in rare cases of extreme survival eating the fallen is the only avaible option
Kroot have reasons to be picky, heck no Chaos on their plate
Didn't the kroot try to eat NECRONS once and it went about as horribly as you'd expect?
Hey, somebody had to be the first to try it. Honestly, I’m surprised that they were even able to tear them small enough to eat.
Canonical interactions between equals of the Greater Good. Great work as always. Made me laugh out loud!
The Kroots have a strict taboo about eating chaos mutated flesh or tyranid flesh: the former because it risk to mutate their bodies beyond recognition and corrupt their minds, the latter because something very bad happens when they consume tyranid biomass as it appears that the tyranid flesh change them back because it is extremely adaptable and so their bodies start to change out of control.
The Tau commander seems to be unusually reasonable according to 40k standard.
Tau Commanders have always been reasonable in 40k it’s just that they’ve been shafted in situations where reason is thrown out the window.
0:52 Kroot: "Professionals have standards."
I want to eat an ork now, sounds tasty
They’re mushrooms. So should taste like mushrooms and meat.
You can eat the squig, they are delicious like a good ham, and it's canon.
@@magnusmaximus1415 stopppp I'm getting hungry
How about if you don't eat them and just fight them?
*gets kicked out of the building. First time in the day
You know there is always a option to not eat them.
That's like telling an imperial not to be xenophobic. It's part of their culture!
Really thought this was going to go to "You know you could just...kill them and...not eat them" territory. Also, great Mushrooms on Pizza joke at 2:00 (because the Orks are fungus)
I feel like they should be in dark tide as a offensive character that can eat high ranking possessed and can gain buffs from them but debugs when they eat regular possessed
Don't eat daemons, boys
Make sense. The imperium makes use of Kroot Mercenaries in occasions so having them in Dark Tide is in lore accurate.
Kroot, ratlings, something mechanicus, and maybe a death cultist should be the next classes.
2:23 T'au: Says the bird dudes that nearly got *WAAAAGGGHHH-ed* into oblivion by orks and WE were the ones to bail you out of your certain extinction!
Kroot: Fair point...also "bird dudes"?
T'au: Oh...again sorry, it's just...been such a pain in the blue ass lately sense GW seems more concerned with milking SPACE marines and Primarchs...AGAIN, and neglecting aliens like us despite the wealth of interesting lore potential or story telling opportunities.
Kroot: Yeah, that sucks major fried soggy ork balls!
T'au: Agreed, 100%! Wait...orks have balls?!
Kroot: Wha-no no no, I mean *fried ork mushroom puffs!* They are really delicious actually, but are terrible when they become oversaturated with grease.
T'au: Huh...I am weirdly getting hungry now. Wanna just call it on this campaign and just eat out? I hear the nearby sept world has this new fancy restaurant, I hear they even have a *vorgh* chief who's an up and coming star of culinary cuisine working there!
Kroot: Sounds good. Wait, aren't the vorgh those guys that are literally just "kaiju", but in Warhammer 40k which sounds awesome but for some reason haven't been used at all in the Tau's military despite how amazing they'd be?
T'au: Eh...if by "kaiju" you're referring to their HUMUNGOUS size and great strength then yes I suppose they are such. Yeah, I don't know why we don't see them at all in combat, would've been great assets to our forces!
**conversation goes on for a little more but can't be bothered to think of how it would go**
You know… since you mentioned Vorgh, I wouldn’t be surprise in a future codex, they’d be added.
Since orks are fungus, are they a salat?
Space Marines should be filet mignon to Kroot. Imagine the genes they get from eating them. I always make sure they get their fill in my Dark Crusade play throughs.
I love how simply not eating people was not even a point of discussion
I can see why they won't eat the nids and dark eldar. They have all sorts of things in them.
And Chaos? Hooo boy...i don't eat CRAZY.
well if you learned how to hit things with your hand you won't need us around,
i was laughing alot🤣
It's funny they're willing to eat Orks, and not Tyranids, when Tyranids hate eating Orks in canon.
When you eat a nid Carcass
The nid Carcass eats you
that "Litany Algorithmicus" at the bottom of the description is 👌
Tau asked about insubordination was very Tau like.
Imperial will shoot the insubordinate instead of asking.
That’s what I want space marines portrayed like
I kept waiting for the Tau to say: You know you can just fight them without eating them ?
2:04 Ah, Pizza Funghi!
I love the Kroot. Top 10 40k aliens for sure.
Orks reproduce like shrooms, so the kroot could be farming Orks
Kroot Shaper said what Dark Eldary taste like C*M was deffinitly a statement from Personal Experience 😂.
1:20 Dark Eldar casually being the worse race even after you fry them with plasma fire and put them on your plate.
Meanwhile Orks become literal mushroom toppings.
Fun fact they actually like to eat dark eldar and space marines, they only don’t like to eat chaos space marines necrons tyranids and demons
I imagine it because both former sources of food (Dark eldar and marines) mostly gain them physical benefits while the latter seems to just enthrall them to either the Dark gods or the so called SPACE bugs of death.
@@navilluscire2567 yea if they eat chaos stuff they start to worship chaos, and if they eat the tyranids over time they start to become geen stealers
The necron on is actually revealed in a necron codex if they eat necron they will not only get nothing because metal not flesh , they will also might get a scarab plague
It's just a matter of if the DEldar had poison in them, or if they can breach SMs gun lines. Fine and dandy if they can fulfil those requirements.
What about orks
They might not eat tau but damn did he roasted him
Love that kroot eating orks have at times become
More green if skin tone and their speech has become simplified as well as their weaponry and fighting styles XD
mmm ork pizza
I’m currently reading the “commissar Cain” omnibus and in (i believe) third story he talks to a kroot I think it said there is a lot of clicking in there accent
“ its voice was glottal, most of the consonants reduced to hard clicking sounds. It was perfectly understandable”
Excerpt From
Ciaphas Cain: Hero of the Imperium
Sandy Mitchell
This material may be protected by copyrigh
Came for the Legacy of Kain content, stayed for the other memes. Nice channel
KROOTEATZ™️
🎩
🐍 no step on Snek! 🇺🇸🇭🇰
I like that one story where a shaper punks a primaris lieutenant
Source?
@@elliottreadings8029 I can't seem to find it anymore, so probably made up on 1d4chan or something
@@CocoHutzpah cheers for looking though mate, really appreciate it.
Now i want a kriot food rewiev video
Ta'u: Funny idea, have you try to fight tyranids without eating them?
Huh. I always had the mental image that certain parts of the Imperium process Tyranid flesh for Chinese food. I could definitely see a Carnifex and Tyrant Guard making a good congee, too.
Eh, their micro-organisms are inherently mutagenic and/or poisonous. Eating a Tyranid is likely to end up with you either being digested from the inside or turned into a Tyranid.
You don't even want to know what happened when the worshipers of nurgle showed up.
The Space Marine Part Made Laugh My Ass Off.
Fake
Kroot gladly fight Space Marines
Mean while Farsight is serving for them Kroots after slicing up a bunch of orks
I'm glad Tau went from castrating all humans to treating Kroots with proper respect
The castrating humans thing was never true anyway, it's just a typical anit-tau rumour that gets spread around the internet. The source of it comes from one of the Deathwatch TTRPG games, as part of the propoganda that an Imperial Lord Commander is distributing among the populace, but it's not actually factual. He's just trying to keep people afraid and hateful of the Tau to prevent them discovering that they actually treat defectors far better than the Imperium ever has.
Fans spread that misinformation around unawares, and seemingly every youtuber out there just repeats it without fact checking. (Same as basically every lore bite about the Tau)
Just create melee robots. Piece of cake for the T'au.
I feel like the Tau would hypothetically be able to create melee robots.
This makes me want to do a travelling gourmand Kroot in a 40k rp
Wow,that tau got owned pretty hard
I've always assumed that the Kroot having a croaking or screechy kind of of voice.
This gives me some Solid jj vibes
Me to
Literally all of his videos are Solid JJ but Warhammer
Pretty sure the biomass to them would probably taste like eating rotten cheesecake 🤮
You know you can fight and kill enemies without eating them
If kroon ate tyranids wouldn’t they become genesteallers
The real reason why the kroot don't eat tau is because they taste like shit
I think there’s more to that…
The kroot in general don't eat T'au because they swore an oath to not do so because they felt indebted to the T'au for saving them from the orks who nearly wiped them out. Now does it still happen? Eh, probably but it's basically enforced seriously throughout kroot society to avoid eating T'au corpses and allow them to be collected by their living comrades to be properly buried and honoured.
from what I heard they don't eat tyranids because that's basically how they would become genestealers and they don't eat orks because that would make them dumber
Why you doesn't eat tyranid ? Well MAYBE because their blood is the equivalent of liquid razor blade?!
They coud just fight and not...eat them
Look don't eat them fine just help us save the world from them Shaper Commander.
Ayy the whistling.
I expected more squawking from the kroot
Kroot sounding like Union members....
Huh. I always figured they rejected tyrannid flesh because ingesting the phage cells ran the risk of corrupting their genome (same with Chaos taint).
I find it funny he said he wouldn't go near a Space Marine, when a Kroot Shaper outright beat the fuckshit out of a primaris, did he lose? In the end yeah, but he made a full on embarrassment of the bastard, Kroot are badass and please GW let me play as Kroot alone fuck I love them
Oh, that made me laugh so much 😂
this is cannon, kroot think tyrannids taste like shit, even genesetaler infected
I mean orks are just a slab of gorilla with mushrooms on top. You cut it nice and thin, then fry it with some salt and spice of your choice and its fine dining by 40k standards
I mean, they dont HAVE to eat them after killing them.
Every Kroot in hearing radius : Heresy!!! Unacceptable in every conceivable way of Krootish culture.
I find it funny that he is hesitant on eating a space marine, but just fine on devouring orks and those guys get bigger than space marines, I guess they have to work up the food pyramid to get ahead, a sort of eat the orks first so you can eat the space marines situation I guess.
Eat the enemy before they eat you
I wonder how Kroot eat Ork pizzas without also taking on bovine traits from the dairy based cheese, or autotrophic traits from the wheat based bread or tomato based sauce
dreadanon acknowledging the kroot?
Its been so long since I’ve laughed this hard at a meme thank you and praise the emperor
No No the Kroot has a Point there
I think any species eating a tyranid (probably even some Hive Fleets) would be a bad idea...
Though, I have heard that humans find squig meat to be very tasty when roasted.
I maintain getting killed and eaten by Kroot is one of the most embarrassing ways to go in 40k. You literally got made into lunch by the overgrown carnivorous chicken men.
To be fair those guys are actually pretty strong than Normal humans right.
@@eotwkdp Depends on their diet really.
@@eotwkdp yeah they're a lot stronger than regular people base.
Tau: So you refuse to eat Space Marine at all?
Kroot: Nah, it depends on the chapter
Tau: Why?
Kroot: Their enhancements can be... problematic.
Tau: In what way?
Kroot: I once saw some guys eat from one of those red guys. The "Blood Angels", I think. They then started going crazy, attacking everyone, and shouting something about "blood" and "Horus", whatever that is!!!
Tau: Yeah, I can see how that can be a problem...
yeah I bet tyranids cant be eaten, unless by another tyranid. Their bodies probably die and decompose into zerg creep.
The funniest thing is that the Kroot have a legitimate reason not to eat Tyranid in lore. The fact that they taste terrible for a race that can eat practically anything is just icying on the cake!!