Lion El'Jonson's tax evasion | Warhammer 40k meme dub
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- Опубліковано 6 лют 2025
- Lion El'Jonson asks the Watchers in the Dark to do the unthinkable and help him commit some white collar crime. Due to an exchange of harsh words in which the Lion insulted everybody's favourite Eldar Lady, his brother's own waifu! Can the Lion dodge the agents of the Administratum and make it out alive with his various trinkets untaxed? FIND OUT NOW!!! Or don't. Whatever.
Music used:
Basically all of the Runescape 3 soundtrack. They're masterworks all, you can't go wrong.
• Reworked RuneScape 3 M...
#warhammer40k #darkangel #thelion
Captions on if you want to obtain the secret knowledge of the multiverse and want to understand what the Watchers are actually saying
Oh nice did you just make them? I could have sworn they weren't there when I first watched
Thx nevermind
guessing makes it fun
.....i understood every single word without the captions ....i think i gotten used to robotic voices .... i might have been spending too much time on the internet...... i think, i should consider touching more grass
Fun Fact: the I in IRS stands for Inquisition
"I don't care who the administratum sends, I'm not paying taxes."
That is how you first start, and then you are overloading and blowing up a Pharos Device that milenia later will bring about a race of weird xeno cross of Sheep and Locust ON SPACE!
The reason for the badab war in a nutshell
The Emperor: Send the 8th :)
*E X T E R M I N A T U S*
And then they make you pay taxes.
Even in death taxes do not end.
"Sir..."
"Yes, what is it?"
"There appears to be a tax collector at the door that doesn't back down"
"What does he look like?"
"He's 12 feet tall, blue power armour, big flaming sword, ultramarine insignia and seems to have all the correct files and permits, even the ones we kept secret for the last 8000 years!"
"I hate family visits when they come asking for money!"
"I'm just asking to assassinate a tax collector. It's a victimless crime."
Lionel Johnson on his way to becoming the greatest hero mankind ever knew. Even greater than The Emperor.
Bro practically is the emperor if we’re going off traditional succession rules
@@Craigerfried1128what are you talking about the emperor is still alive he's just.. sleeping
Oh yeah, The Emperor also mentioned Victimless crimes once.
@@blockwithaglock96 neoth is nothing more than a skeleton now
@@Craigerfried1128 "traditional" succession law you are referring to means Emprah has legitimate consumated marriage and legitimate consort has given a natural birth to all the Primarchs.
I really want this as a recurring series of Warhammer factions getting audited
Wonder if chaos has an IRS
Guess that's what the lords of change do in their spare time when not scheming and killing innocents
I second this.
When the Orcs find out the rates for teef to imperial its going to be zoggin krumpin time
@@MrKoffeeKup "let's see here Mr.Trakka"
"Ya datz me"
"It seems your 'teff' have exponentially grown in value"
"Yea"
"It just seems rather coincidental seeing how there's been a recent string of bad moon dentist pain boi muggings recently"
"...oh Zog"
Administorum Auditor Savant Strikes Again!
This administratum drone has no power in Sigmar’s glorious domain and shall be sentenced to 40,000 Ghal-Maraz whacks to the groin
In the realy old lore, "the old world" was a planet in the 40k universe.
@@kirgan1000In the old lore was the planet were the old ones had a beta testing for the spieces? right?
Or more like that its were they were going.
But we are talking about very old lore when orcs were like LODR and we had half human/eldar human/orcs
Daemon That had r*pe-children
The druki were not 80% war obsess and 20% sex obsess but 100% sex obsess
And in those times malekith fucked his mom
@@kirgan1000 I thought it was the other way? 40k was in a crystal ball in the royal college of magic or something like that
@@lordgod9958 the realy old lore was crazy, so that might be true.
Minotaurs got a new assignment
Hmm... Must be something wrong with his cogitators, Lion has a 0% chance of paying taxes.
3% with a 3% margin of error
@@archaic1026”Why lord!? WHY!?!”
@@theredsir869beautiful reference
Indeed
"I'm just asking you to assassinate a tax collector, it's a victimless crime."
If canon Lion were more like this, he'd be my favourite Primarch.
Funny enough, that's actually canon Horus. He once told Garviel Loken: "If I had my choice, I would kill every Executor in the Imperium. But I'm sure we would be getting tax bills from Hell before breakfast."
@@DeusExMachina10001 never thought I'd say this, but Horus is based
@@venomsnekko he was pretty cool until they writer-itised him over to chaos.
Honestly, I wouldn't put it past him. The man ignored the Emperor-regent's direct orders because he hadn't done a warcrime since Thramas.
@@venomsnekko pre heresy horus was based and giga chad. :(.... I mourn him
I'll never get tired of Welsh Lion
I've seen a lot of comparisons to tywin lannister
Well they do say that he's a savage pretending to be civilized...
@@averageexistenceenjoyer3950 the opposite to Russ then
Oh so that's how them Welsh folk talk!
I honestly didn’t notice that and now it’s my head canon lion voice
Guilliman must have really hated that autosavant because he definitely saw this coming. Also, I see Lion is still working on his communicational skills, since clearly only informed the watchers.
It was all about embarrassing his brother. Nothing more emasculating than having your every monetary decision rubbed in your face.
He either makes his brother pay for what he did, or it gets zapped to somewhere to bring more taxes for the imperium, is a win win.
Really it was probably the constat "tsk tsk" that got him send to Lion, personaly I would have shot him in the face then and there but Guilliman has to keep up appearances and only weep in private over what has his sweet administratum become. No professionalism what so ever with those guys.
"I'm just asking to assassinate a tax collector. It's a victimless crime."
I see Lion's inner Libertarian is well developed :)
That would improve his character.
Though we all recognize tax collectors are civil servants....yeah, if anything happens is justified
First of all, this servitor is sentient and the administratum guys are extremely corrupt And extremely inefficient. I doubt your taxes are going anywhere useful. Save the pockets of a high Lord And plus it's not very efficient manager income taxes on a galactic scale. It's only done at a planetary and provincial level And goes to your home planet government depending on what technological level it is, otherwise it's going to just be the annual tithe the planet pays But A. Civilized world most definitely would have something like flat wide income taxes going to its government, not the sector one. Instead they just paid the tithe and whatever the plant produces which doesn't always have to be money per se But manpower equipment tools crops and finished goods whatever the imperium demands from it and it's comediosaur formed around it, but civilized worlds have a high manpower tithe in terms of regiments same as hive worlds have industrial and manpower ones But I do like the idea of the sentient servator, but they're sort of what happens to an bureaucrats of the administratum dies when they die only to get resurrected as that instead of a mindless robot, you're just borgified
1:13 " *Gasp* Mr. Lion!" The delivery is too good!
I can’t wait for the isaeki “I was a tax collector in another universe until I was sent to a magical fantasy world by magic aliens.”
Wouldn't be the weirdest isekai by a long shot
Or the one with the goofiest name.
At this rate. The title might as well just be the entire plot summary of the show.
"Taxmen! The unsung heroes of the Imperium! How I Hate Them!"
- Do you like Crusades? -
"YEESS!"
- Then you like Taxes you screeching lich! -
Excellent video Anon!
"Of course, so long as i am not the one who pays it of course."
this sounds like a conversation that big e and Uriah the preis t of the lightning would have
@@thaddeuspowell8438
It word for word is, tts did a vampire the masquerade series and that happened.
@@ethanduncan1646 with the context I bets a conversation between emperor and malodor
I figured that this is what the inquisition says to the black Templar when it's time for them to pay their tithes.
I love how the Watchers in the Dark are now considered the Lion's new kids and that He had a peace summit with orks over fighting Angron
Lion wants to get rid of his perpetually angry brother and orks want to avenge Yarrick
At least we now know where people banished by the Watchers wind up....Their Sigmar's problem now. Hope Karl Franz has well-stocked koffers.
He should have thanks to the window taxes.
@@emetanti the only good thing to come out of that was the sparking of the window tax riots which lead to the subsequent meeting between Gotrek and Felix.
Wait, isn't Karl Franz the Emperor of the Empire of Man and Elector Count of Reikland meaning he would be paying the taxes to his own koffers
“You’re getting this down right?” -random blood raven probably as he watches the feed from the tax man through an acquired relic
The autosavant taxman might be my favourite character yet
Shame he got lost in the warp on his way back to Guilliman 😢
Although "favorite" is a subjective judgement, it merely gets in the way of pure and holy numeracy.
Best part is. Thanks to that Auditor , the Empire of Man withstood the End Times and repossessed the Chaos Wastes into oblivion.
Ulthuan is still a tax haven though. Fucking elves.
Archaon: „YOU MUST UNDERSTAND, I PAY IN DARK POWER, NOT GOLD, ITS DIFFERENT!“
Auditor:“ Yes, yes, Mr. von Carstein tried that tactic already, and I still repo‘ed his Zombie Dragon and Tomes of Nagash. Now if you would be so kind as to give your Armour of Morkhar and the Slayer of Kings…
@SwampGreen14 A few repossessions like that, and he'll become the most powerful being in any universe.
@@La-Volpa I mean, tax auditors are already unstoppable demonic-undead beings of horrific power. Wouldn't really change him THAT much.
@@La-Volpa he serves a power more dreadful than the dark 4
The IRS
Guilliman: Tax evasion is a crime, Lion!
Lion: It's an obligation!
Hello fellow Max0r fan
Moral of the story: Don't insult Guilliman's wife
facts
I love the idea of the 40k setting not being as bad as it is in canon but is just full of otherworldly mild inconveniences. The imperium and Xenos factions are just neighbors that talk smack all the time, servitors are people with free will, they’re just like that, and they all have modern Terran holiday parties. I imagine the chaos gods are just as powerful as they are in canon, but they just act like annoying celebrities and their chaos worshippers are their fans. Meanwhile tyrannids act like a flock of seagulls that gradually increase in numbers and take peoples food, and the marines have to fight them by shooing them away with a broomstick and a spray bottle
In the grim-dark future of the 41st millennium, there is only inconveniences. Tuesdayhammer 40K
Damn Jean stealers taking my pants
@@HisLordsh1pAnd the snickering of slightly unquenched Gods
And screaming incoherently when those damn kids step on their property.@@amperekelvin5789
Make a story about this! This sounds hilarious!
I now want to see the Chaos gods being audited with Skarbrand being the only one to actually pay his taxes as he is a respectable member of society
SKARBRAND HATES TAX EVASION!
One of the only good things about khorne and his boys they are honest.
Tzeentch and their lot won’t be as easy to find/got compared to Nurgle and Slaanesh. One’s books are sloppy and the other’s are sloppier and… eww.
You could probably get Slannesh to pay up if you frame it as a findom thing.
No one is going to take the holy lion tricycles without consequences.
"Even in death, you must pay your taxes"
-Auditorium Dreadnought
"Even in debt..."
Come to think of it, which legions actually would pay taxes?
Ultramarines would be way too good at evading them.
Blood Angels build battleships out of gold and platinum so clearly not.
Salamanders would donate all their excess budget to charity and claim massive deductions.
Raven Guard would pay but administratum keeps forgetting they exist.
At the same time, we Ultramarines are the ones collecting taxes.
Also, what is pay?
Blood ravens would have A LOT of explaining to do for the lack of receipts
Imperial Fists would probably pay a lot of taxes. Property taxes for the land all those fortifications sit on add up, and if they're anything like their Primarch, they don't know how to lie.
Edit: Although Black Templars probably wouldn't pay, because if those autosavant auditors could even catch up with them out on their Eternal Crusade, they'd just call them mutants and kill them on sight.
Blood Angels are involved in complex art-asset money laundering schemes.
Anyone that asks too many questions gets to audit the Death Company.
Aren't Ultramarines the type of guys to wake up at 12:01 in the morning to calculate their taxes?
Dude was asleep for like 10,000 years, dude missed a lot of tax payments.
The little buddy Watchers should have just zapped him out of existence from the start.
Primarchs don't pay taxes! And no one ever. Ever! Takes the holy Tricycle.
And poor Karl, now he's on the other end of tax collection.
Tbh, if Karl uses him properly he can just outright unify entire empire by power of taxes actually being gathered properly
@@soldiersPL its 50/50. one) he's lose all the gold the empire to pay the taxe's and the get over run by orc,undead,ratman or deamon/chaos or two) hes use that evil evil tax collector to bully the counts to pay there taxe's and unite the empire
Damn even gods can't escape taxes
Fortunately he can pay in the blood of their mutual enemies.
*Like Father Like Son, The Dark angels are as ever at odds with the imperial bureaucrats*
The Watchers are the cutest little critters in the whole universe and them removing IRS bootlicks from existence only further endears them to me.
Let's not forget that time, when Tzeench's demon ran away in fear of these cute little critters. What he saw was an eldritch monstrosity of immense psychic power.
Seeing in that Hired Gun game how the imperial tax collectors are able to collect taxes from anyone anywhere, even some gangers in the underhive of a Hive City makes me to believe that they might be people you should NOT mess with.
"FINALLY! WITH THE POWER OF KHORNE WE HAV-"
"Ahem, Mr. Folt, you had long since past the grace period of your underhive's tax collection."
"W-wait, let me explain!"
The IRS does that as well today, there is a box for illicit gains you can check when doing takes. Uncle Sam cares not from where the money flows, only that it flows.
Damn, they were lucky this time! I thought the Watchers were going to have to go out to another galaxy and make back their money by selling stolen droids in some backwater dirt planet!
As an internal auditor myself, I can confirm that I do in fact say "tsk tsk tsk tsk" when I nail people. Seriously this is great, thanks LOL !
Is it a dopamine thing, or that sensation you get after cracking your back?
@@willbleed550 Pure dopamine ; )
@@Cornerboy73 👍
"Tax evasion is a crime brother."
"It's an obligation"
I’m not sure what’s funnier: the thought of a primarch being forced to pay taxes or THE DARK ANGELS not just killing the collector on sight.
Every time Kenny dies in South Park he gets reincarnated as a watcher.
I never knew the Lion evaded taxes! Interesting.
I also wish to partake in the holy ball pit activity!
I love the idea that whenever people in 40k zap someone out of existence, like in TTS, they get transported to warhammer fantasy
"Miss Yvraine" yep, Lion definitely learned not to mess with Guilliman's hot goth elven gf 😂
I love the idea that the Watchers are all just Kenny
Sending an auditor is the most guilliman revenge
Imagine when leman returns, his going to say worst things, WHILE SOBBER.
Guilleman would have to pull out the emperor's spray bottle
@@Edible_edibility he might even have to pull out...
THE FIRE HOSE
@@Edible_edibilityor the imperial newspaper
@@captaintitus4637 the blessed water
@@kaeleastlord or the imperial veterinarian
I just realised this is a subtle nod to Megachurches if they ever got visited by the IRS
Considering how the emperor was so rigorous with his imperial tithe and taxes, it's crazy The Lion has evaded them so long xD
The true secret champion to hide his debt from the imperium for so long 😂 love your content, thank you.
Also, I keep rewinding over and over the watchers voice to figure out what they're saying in their muffled tones lol
This had to be one of the funniest clips you've done so far.
"WHY IS THIS JOKIRO IN A TOP HAT ASKING ME FOR MY COAT?!"
The Lion is his firstborn after all, of course he granted tax immunity to him other than the eldritch dark age of technology gizmos
Corax is the only one who’s ever managed to completely evade paying any taxes, he’s strangely missing whenever the collectors come to Deliverance, though Logar swears he keeps seeing him. Jaghatai almost managed to but he got a speeding ticket while high on speedweed and the tax man finally caught up with him
The Emperor allowed him to evade taxes, that's why Lion was so loyal to him.
Man that knocking noise was so real on my headphones it made me jump lmao.
The muffled talking of the Watchers is perfectly done
Damn, even Horus paid his taxes. I'm starting to think the Dark Angels are even worse than Erebus!
The auditor is failing to take into account that the Hammer was inherited from a previous administration, and thus would have little bearing on the Empire's current financial position.
To be fair, the space cathedral is, lore-wise, a pretty spartan place for super warrior monks.....
Thanks to this, Welsh Dark Angels is my new headcanon
Nah, Franz at the end showing why HE is best emperor
He wields a massive army, reasonably advanced tech, and ornaments all of it, while still making sure to have leftovers funds for tax Day.
THAT'S a true leader
He does have aids to assist him with tax collecting and management of laws involving tax. Though...there was that one guy under his employ who did the whole "Window Tax" scheme behind his back and then sent the Reiksguard to massacre the upset civilians who rioted in protest. Poor Karl got a LOT of negative publicity for that one.
an emperor with an actual warhammer
Imagine the blood ravens getting audited, please do that one next
"Capital gains tax? What kind of Heresy is this?" -Chapter Master Gabriel Angelos, upon being told that 'gifts' are in fact taxable if they're worth the GDP of an entire forge world.
Blood Raven "here we keep all the relics that may or may not be related to our primarch"
Auditor: "Ok,Wait.ARE THOSE THE WALLET I LOST 2 WEEKS AGO AND MY RIGHT KIDNEY?!"
Blood Raven:"they may or may not be related with our primarch"
LMAO at the Holy Lion Tricycle getting ranked as one of the most expensive items alongside the Emperor's Shield.
The voice of the taxeptus collectoricus is amazing :D
Considering it's Guilliman is the one who technically made those taxes the odds Lion will pay up is about as high as the chances of a Black Templar or Space Wolf following the codex
"Repent today, for tomorrow you must pay your taxes"
I will never get tired of Anon's adorable interpretation of the Watchers 😂👏
The Blood Ravens audit would be interesting...
Blood Raven: this is the vault where we keep the artifacts that may or may not be relacionated with our primarch
Auditor: Hey wait a minute,this is the wallet I lost 2 weeks ago and that is my left kidney!
Blood Raven: they may or may not be relacionated with our primarch
Sending tax collectors to the Dark Angels...that is a real good way to no longer exist.
Autosavant: "The numbers must add up, Lord Franz, or you will be removed from the equation."
The Lion and the Leagues of Votann have one thing in common: hiding all their cool shit from the Admech
In the Grimdarkness of the Far future... There is still the IRS (Imperium Revenue Services)
4:56 That's karma for the window tax.
My favourite legion, and my favourite pastime, tax evasion!
"It is better a million innocents be audited, than a single Battle Brother be taxed a dime"
we can all agree that the ork race is british ear ear ol´ chap
Buddy... I MEAN mr Lion el' jonson sir, you just CAN'T finess the IRS, please sir, be reasonable
I just love the "Tsk Tsk Tsk It's not adding up"
The Donkey Kong music for the jokaero is golden.
the knocking soundboard needs to be purged from existence, I always think a neighbor is knocking on my window
I would watch an entire show about the watchers.
Emperor Karl Franz looks at Grand Theogonist Volkmar von Hindenstern and nods,
Grand Theogonist Volkmar von Hindenstern looks at Elector Count Vlad von Carstein and nods,
Elector Count Vlad von Carsteinn looks at me and nods,
Me nods back and the Sister Twilight and smiles
Me: time to feed the Imperial Hydra,
I just love characters badly trying to hide extremely obvious things
This among skaven self-improvement is your best work up to date.
Waitaminute ... These Watcher guys are ultra-powerful demigods, right? Why are they letting the Lion dictate how much time they can spend in the ball pit?
Because they let him. Push the responsibility to someone else, enjoy the power after all.
Had no idea I wanted this...would easily watch a whole season of Primarch Lion El' Johnson's Adventures in Mundane Life!
The Watchers in the Dark are the best characters
its almost like the reason everything is grimdark is because every planet is committing tax fraud
Wonder how much taxes Trazyn would theoretically have to pay, since he has a collection of the most expensive shit in the galaxy.
Ofcourse any would be tax collector would get collected themselves, thus further adding to the value...
There is a why, because he reprograms the Necron tax collectors as a copy of him
“Mr. The Infinite, you claim that you have paid your dues and yet you own such artifacts as the head of one of the Imperium’s Primarchs itself. Tsk tsk tsk tsk…”
His collection is considered a tax exempt museum. It's technically a nonprofit
I nearly jumped out of my seat at the knocking sound! I really thought someone was at my window!
"I DO NOT CARE WHO TERRA SENDS IM NOT PAYING TAXES!". Wasn't that cause of Badab civil war btw?
The watchers when holy tricycle about to be repo : 🤬🤬🤬
Elector counts checkbooks?
Poor administratum guy is gonna get a few aneurysms
“Yes, some are on a spike over there, you’ve got some in a fat envelope, and the rest are in a shoe box which I cast into the warp. That was a low point.”
The fact the IRS will still exist in the 41st millenium is terrifying.
So that's how Kaldor Drago got in to Warhammer fantasy.
Those Adorable Younglings
Know what's more funny? The equivalent of the IRS in Brazil has a Lion as it's symbol, so as a Brazilian, it's pretty funny to see a dude called Lion just Tax evading
LETS FUCKING GO, HOLY BALL PIT!!!
As much as I love them, I want to see the Blood Ravens get audited.
Their possessions were all gifts. Thus exempt from taxation.
@@MR.LMR1996gifts can be taxed if they exceed the value of $10,000
They would just steal the tax man…. And refuse to pay taxes on it.
" and what about your diplomatic conduct at our peace summit with the greenskins, little watcher?"
well if you actually said that about Yvraine where the hell do you think he learned to do that from eh!?
I LOVE THE BALL PIT
The watchers speaking like Kenny wasn't something I knew I wanted but by god it's excellent
"Mr El'Jonson, why is there a jokaero in a top hat asking me for my coat?"
To make a weapon, obviously
Or nick you loose change
I say this becomes a series where each faction gets audited. Dante being audited when he is almost two thousands year old would be hilarious or if the templars get audited, lol.
These videos always make me feel better about the lack of TTS.
1:17 *B A S E D*
Holy hell, that knock really made me think someone was knocking on my window behind me.
Everytime when I find another El'Johnson video with the small ones, it's a joy.
5 minutes of the Lion and his silly little guys?! DreadAnon came back swinging!
Surely he can lay off the cost of Caliban due to water damage? Dark age tech is all capital investment but is was a one off gift from Dad anyway.
But I think he is screwed on his student loan.
This lion series is hilarious we need more lion skits 😂