Narcissistic Parental Alienation (Overcoming Narcissistic Abuse) | Narcissist's Favorite Weapon
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- Опубліковано 18 вер 2024
- Narcissistic Parental Alienation (Overcoming Narcissistic Abuse) | Narcissist's Favorite Weapon
In this video I share strategies with you on how you combat narcissistic parent alienation. These are the exact strategies I continue to use on a daily basis to combat narcissistic parent alienation.
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DISCLAIMER: I am not a mental health professional and although I am giving tips and advice on narcissism and narcissistic behaviors based on my own personal experience, none of what I'm saying should be considered mental health advice. You should always consult your own mental health professional for specific questions related to your situation.
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#narcissism #narcissticabuse #custody #narcissisticpersonalitydisorder #familycourt #gaslighting #emotionalabuse #abuse #childcustodyhearing #childcustody #custodybattle #narcissisminrelationships #parentalienation #narcissisticparent alienation #divorcinganarcissist #childcustodywithoutalawyer #narcissiticabuserecovery #narcissisticparent #winningchildcustody
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I told both of my daughters that I never want them to feel like they are being put in the middle of any disagreements I have with their father. Should they ever feel like they are made to choose a side, to tell that person that it makes them uncomfortable. I don’t care who it is, even me. My children are not pawns and have no business dealing with adult drama
What a lovely emotional gift that you gave to your daughters! This will go a long way to emotional health!
I’ve done this for 7 years and it backfired on me. At 12 and 15 they decided to walk away from me and completely out of the blue because I have not fought back or played the game at all. Their father wants me dead and will do what it takes to make me dead or disappear and nothing less will do.
This method doesn’t work in a severe parental alienation situation.
My home was the safe place and they decided to leave their safe place. That is absolutely terrifying for my children. I can’t imagine what they are going through or what goes on their to abandon their own very loving and very safe mother. It’s torturous and unreal.
I am so sorry to hear about your situation and I know this must be extremely tough. I want to encourage you to still hold out hope. How old are your children now? I have seen similar circumstances where these kids become adults and way into adult hood they come around. But, this obviously does not repair or replace the many years lost. Much of this is out of your control. The hope, in my opinion, that they will come around resides in how you handle the current situations. If you don't react and don't play the game, they have nothing to hate you about other than what the narcissist ex tells them. Eventually that trauma that they are experiencing will likely mess up their own intimate relationships. At that point, they may get themselves into therapy to figure out their life. They are experiencing abuse and trauma of the worst kind and will need therapy. Please do keep coming back to my channel to allow us to be part of your support network.
Been, 7 years for me and my entire side of the family,lost my daughter. ,now the evil ex is colluding with my minor child to lie and intercepted my son from the bus stop a week ago. Poison can't remain in anyone's bloodstream for them to heal and become healthy..,especially if it keeps getting reintroduced while the alienator is still in the picture
Sadly I’m starting to experience this now that the NARC has taken me to court to get custody of our 11 year old child. I know this is an attempt to make my life miserable for the next 7 years. I have remained Modified Contact for the sake of our child who is now siding with the Father & stepmother. I recently found out they’ve talked and argued about me for years. God will continue to be my refuge and strength!!!
Your exactly right. Without ever needing to even say a word to badmouth his mother, my son at 13 has definitely come to see me as the more reasonable healthy minded parent based on his own observation and conclusions. There is a point you need to take a stand sometimes to enforce your parental rights and demonstrate its not okay to be bullied
YES YES YES!! I wish we could shout it from the rooftops. Each person comes to this understanding in their own time and this community is here to support us all as we navigate these treacherous waters. Our children learn about how to be in relationships from watching us, so at some point we have to take the stand to show them that the narcissist's behavior is unacceptable and we should not tolerate it EVER!!
Thank you so much for sharing your story and tips
But most of all thank you for the Hope
And to the parents/grandparents/caregivers out there who are desperately trying to save everything ..
I send you love, understanding validation and Hope
Never give up💪
💟🔥☮️🇳🇿
Very good advise.
There are no guarantees on this situation.
Don't ever think that there will be all winners in this.
It's a battle field.
You are so right! This is a battle and their are no winners. I hope that parents receive hope from my channel that things can get better over time. It takes patience for things to turn around.
My son and his ex-wife divorced when my Granddaughter was 1 year old. He was granted regular visitation through the court. When his Ex started dating her current husband, she started making up reasons that shortened his weekends. After a few months she totally cut of his visitation but would allow him to see her, while they were present, whenever SHE said so. Usually once every 3 months. By the time she decided to let us see her twice a month, she was already calling her step-dad "daddy" and calling my son by his first name. Then they started saying the step-dad wanted to adopt her. That's when my son hired a lawyer. A family member stepped in to offer financial help with that. By this time, she's 7yrs old.(all this started when she was 3). The judge said NOTHING about her being in contempt of court by denying his visitation, and gave him supervised visitation, at the ex's request. We weren't expecting that. Like a kick in the stomach. Anyway, his first overnight visitation was awesome. After the first hour, she was back to calling him "Daddy". When she's with us we don't ask her any questions about her home life. She's free to be herself and seems very happy. There has been a few rough weekends over the past year, like when she'd go to her bedroom and call her step-dad. He would ask questions about if my mama's house was clean or not, and probably asked other questions. I just overheard a little bit because she had him on speaker phone. Oh, and she had previously been self harming, too by pinching herself on the arm. She would have the bruises when we would get her, but she didn't pinch herself when she visited us. That's the kind of things that the judge should know about but won't listen. I have absolutely no faith in our court system anymore. Sorry for telling my life story but it's nice to know that someone understands and wants to help by educating people on the subject. Thanks for the video!
Thank you so very much for watching my videos and for taking the time to share your story. Sharing your story is the one of the most powerful ways to help change the broken court system. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!! It sounds like your situation involves parent alienation and it is so very harmful to children. It is my opinion that if a parent tries to alienate their children from the other parent then they are most likely a narcissist. I created this channel for the purposes of spreading education and awareness about these types of topics. I hope you will find the information here on this channel helpful to your situation. Thank you again for being here and for sharing your story.
We stepped away after enduring 12 years of verbal, emotional abuse and conflict but the risk is that the alienated child becomes 'The Golden Child' the next generation of Narcissist. There is a chance of 'Avoidant Attachment Disorder' developing, as the child doesn't trust you as you were not able to be available. No win situation.
Wow, your a very strong lady this is great advice & confirmation for my perception of this situation. Thank you for making this video ❤
You are so welcome Judy! Thank you for watching my videos. It is encouraging to me to know that I am doing the right thing by sharing my story. I appreciate you being a part of the Courtroom Companions Community!!
My daughter is now 35 yrs old we are just now getting back to a relationship but she still defends her father even tho he has detached himself from her completely and doesn't even talk to her. How can i get her to finally see what he is a true covert narcissist
I had to step away for 6 yrs 😪😪😪
Hi Marjorie! Great question. Your daughter is going to need reprogramming with a good therapist. With a good therapist, your daughter, at some point, will realize what has happened to her and she will likely get really angry. The anger, most likely, will be because she mistreated you because of what she believed from her father. This will probably be hard for her understand and accept. Some of my clients are going through reunification with their adult children and it is very hard to hear how much regret these adult children have over their mistreatment and alienation from the one parent that actually loved them.
@@NakedNarcissism thank you! Shes going thru alot but I try to keep myself informed to do my best..my poor baby girl, she use to cut herself and i believe in my heart her father crossed sexual boundaries, i just hope im stong enough to help her 🙏 💔
Hello Dear Tamara ,
Your personal story and tips are so inspiring and giving me an in depth view of my divorce and child custody journey which is about to begin . I m so thank ful to you . I wish I could talk to you over the phone . Your words give me peace .
I am so glad you find my videos helpful!! I am so glad. I am sorry you are about to go through your own custody situation. If you need help or any one-on-one coaching, please feel free to schedule some time with me on my website: www.nakednarcissism.com. Sending you big hugs!!
Thanks this was inspiring and uplifting
You're such an amazing mum and so inspiring ❤️ thank you for sharing !
You are so kind, thank you! Thank you for your support.
Accept the terrible truth a step aside. Let the children know you love them and the door is always open. Be the better parent and be a safe place for their wellbeing.
U r so spot on Thk u for ur wisdom❤️❤️❤️
Thank you so much! I am humbled to know that the content on my channel is helpful. Thank you so much for being a part of the Courtroom Companions Community.
They can't make it true but they can build a mindset on that which they were coaxed into believing and at that point becomes detrimental to the life of the child ahead in their future.
It is hard to sit back and watch kids blindly believe the narcissistic parent. No doubt our children are forever impacted. It is not easy! I try my best to just be the best parent I can be and wherever the chips fall I let them fall. I only have control over me and my behavior. Prayers to all of our children in this community that they will see the truth sooner rather than later.
Literally sobbing watching this … I hope my baby doesn’t believe his lies … he forced her to write letters to the judge that it’s my fault she acts and says the things she does she knows I would never be upset at her I told her to use me to get out of trouble … now it’s backfiring Bec she knows I won’t ever be upset if she has to survive .. I know she’s being coerced … we go to our cna Dec 18 I’m so scared ….. I have been shaking uncontrollably for weeks … I can’t find the video of how to find a lawyer for poor ppl
My ex did this to my children. At the time they were 8,7 and 5 when he had them talk to the judge to lie about me in the custody case. Then tried to get them to say I abused them in dv court that he had to drop due to no evidence. The custody battle lasted 4 years so my children were very young when the case started. They would ask me questions like why does everyone hate you talking about their fathers family. I would tell them some people wont always like what others do and left it alone. It was hard to find honest responses with their ages. Sometimes they would say things like I love dad and I would tell them thats great. They also would say in random times oh thats why you left dad and I would tell them its not related and one day when they are older I will tell them. I always tried to create a safe and honest space with them. I even noticed ny eldest always around the corner being sneaky when I would do anything. I tried my best to be civil with their father even though I didnt want to. I always wanted them to see that I did my best. He was so vicious always trying to argue and his girlfriend even tried to fight me infront of my children while holding my son who was almost 2 at the time. I opened the door and told my daughter to buckle themselves in then loaded up my son and reminded them we were infront of a police station which was our trade off spot to keep things civil until the judge ordered for it to be at the houses instead. The children also had questions about why their dad was trying to scare them into thinking that if they lived with me they would be homeless living in my car and other things similar painting a horror story but I would always tell them they never need to worry about that and that it doesnt matter what people say cause we know the truth. After I talked to my lawyer about making a deal and agreeing to every other weekend just to end the case for my childrens mental health thinking it would stop him telling the children these things he found every excuse for me not to get my phone calls and if i did get the phone calls they would always be on speaker phone and he would be in the room and still had questions on the every other weekend and I would respond the same way and ask them if they need to talk. I also made sure they had counseling up until the agreement and put in the agreement they would continue counseling until the professional felt they were okay cause I know they wouldnt really talk to me even though it hurts to know that. I started to have trouble with my vehicle and then he found a reason to keep them from me. I have not seen my kids since early February of 2022 but I keep working and trying to save up for a lawyer to get them back again. I am glad I did all these things naturally and feel your videos help others. Great advice on these. I feel as long as you love your children you will sacrifice any ego or emotion for their happiness and I hope they see I did that for them in the case.
I think you are totally right. You might have a few exceptions to the the rule here but a parent shouldn’t stop taking the right oath because of that.
It’s working a treat in my situation but I would never bad mouth mother as she is half of daughters identity.
Thankfully I was granted 50/59 shared care to prevent parental alienation so I can show through my actions and relationship with daughter her fathers character.
Yes!! I love this approach. Our children need us to be heroes for them. They don't want to be involved in adult drama and want to love both parents.
THANK YOU
THANK YOU
THANK YOU
100 X THANK YOU 🙏
Your advice is helping me so much, thank you and God bless you.
I'm so glad! This makes me so very happy that I am able to help people. This truly is why I started this channel.
the judge was not listening to my daughter so I asked her if she was elected or appointed and that's when she gave the father custody.
I can understand how that may have upset the judge a bit, but still no reason to award custody to the father. This may be an appealable issue. Did she give a reason for awarding custody to the father?
My grandson crys to come home and his father is lying to him.
My grandson was calling me granny his father some how is telling him to call me grandma so he can talk to me.
I am so sorry this is happening to you. The father is hurting so many people with his behavior.
There is no visitation schedule since he would not agree or even discuss it. He is the step dad and her bio dad is deceased. If I get lawyer-it will not make her happy. However I am paying all of her bills and I never get to see her.
And if your child is being really disrespectful-not how she was brought up. Step father has no legal rights - didn’t ask for any visitation in the divorce he filed. Once divorced I was acceptable to having him for Christmas as my daughter asked. He had many gifts from us / daughter. Absolutely nothing for me (not that I’m all about gifts) it was just so rude. Also he was mean and discouraging toward her while married, told her not to call him dad. So what does he do at Christmas???? Showered her a shitload of gifts and money in a card that says “love, dad”. Also told her how lonely he was and had no food -he took 90k at divorce. I’m not allowed at certain athletic events. I showed up anyway for one and then she moved in with him and I have been only to see her when he has plans in 8 months.
No boundaries at his house and when she has boundaries at my house - then I’m called mean and bitchy and she is pissed and doesn’t do it.
Thankyou, very helpful videos
Glad it was helpful! Thank you so much for watching!
I’m sorry, but this type of
reverse psychology doesn’t work either. We as parents are not licensed therapists, nor should we be. In fact, therapy can often make these situations worse. These creators are likely those who don’t believe in parental alienation, and/or are alienators themselves. The truth is, depending on your circumstances, alienation can last a lifetime. Don’t give up hope, but be realistic.
So me, as her only bio parent, missing out on her senior year and college visits, etc… not invited. Different with a step father that has no legal rights to her. She is 17 and can choose.
My STBX has been very verbally and emotionally abusive to all of us, including our children, and has accused me of PA because I have done things like taught them about personal boundaries and that it's ok to stay no if they feel unsafe or uncomfortable. How do I deal with this? My kids are older and we have had some "on the fence" conversations because my kids have looked up things like what narcissism is, and what gaslighting is. They do not feel safe with their father or trust him because of the erratic behavior they've seen. I feel there is a line between protecting your kids from further abuse, and alienation. Where is the line?
I feel like this is a toss up. You ALWAYS have a chance of one or more of your children becoming a narcissist if one of the parents is a narc. I feel like the realization of who is the good parent is maybe 50/50. I'm not a parent. I'm an aunt and my sister has alienated me from my nephew. He will be 18 this year. From his comments in the past, I know he realizes something is off. But it takes a great deal of personal strength for a child to go against the narc parent. That narc parent is great at making life hell if you don't do what he/she wants.
Sound and good advice. However, sadly some experts don't agree that the child will see the light of day due to something called splitting in psychological terminology. Another thing, you didn't mention the age of your child which is important. You can watch the video: Parental Alienation is Lifelong" on Prof. Sam Vaknin's UA-cam channel.
I think you are right that some children will never see the light of day, and sadly most of this is out of our control. What is in our control is that we can control our reactions. Whether the children come around is anyone's guess, but our best chance is to be a healthy parent and healthy role model. Thank you for continuing to be a part of the Courtroom Companions Community.
The courts cash in bigtime.
My grandson's father is doing that, he has lied to the court system and got custody of my grandson, and I have stop fighting with him.
I totally understand your desire to stop fighting. It can be so exhausting!!
Gow qbout rhe aftermath ... As they are adults ... Please Be careful with minimizing the danger we put pur kids in when we d2code to divorce their vindictive narc parent ....
I noticed that you speak in terms of the child "coming home or the alienated parent is a safe place for them to come home to" there is no more "home" or custody time whether you have a legal parental agreement or not, there is no more safe place or safe parent they reject you, the home you provided for them and your input in their life as far as discipline, milestones etc. It's a lose lose for the alienated parent and we have to walk on eggshells at every turn which over time I mean like years is unsustainable. You get tired of being abused yourself through the alienation process not only by your child but also by the alienating parent. My daughter knows there is something going on she's 15 years old it started when she was 12 however, she is deathly afraid of the consequences she will receive by even thinking about talking to me too much or If I say one wrong thing, I'm blocked or ghosted for days or weeks, I receive the silent treatment. Its a slippery slope because not only are you continuously being abused so is your child and there's really nothing you can do about it but give it to God and pray that he will turn it all out for your good. I have accepted what has happened and I'm learning to rejoice and throw hot coals over the abusing parent, step parent, aunts and even grandparents. I pray for them and forgive them for they know not what they do. The more I can rebuke all of this the more the Lord will restore my relationship with my child however, it's a huge learning curve and I've made mistakes. No one can prepare you for this just know that you are more than just a mother and or a father you have a life that you need to live and heal and thrive don't engulf yourself with the absence of your child they belong to the Lord before they belonged to you. 🙏💜
What if me stopping fight is interpreted (by narc or themselves) as giving up on them ??
That will happen they will tell the child that you abandoned them. It's always a double edged sword and you have to accept it and find peace with it. I have been able to do it through prayer and renewing my mind and heart in the Lord. May God Bless you through this terrible journey. 🙏
❤️😍
Hi i m currently undergoing parental alienation by my wife with 4 year son .. she purposely never shows the face of the child even in photos or videos posted in social media ..But i replied to her this simple phrase (happy for u 👍..) .. she stops her actions and gets frustrated that she cannot frustrate me ..I love my son but if i show it openly.. she tries to use him against me with alienation activities .. Is there any other way that i can irritate a narcissistic parent...
Parent Alienation is so so so cruel to the alienated parent and it is so destructive to the child's well being. Children want to love both parents and they need both parents. I don't think that trying to irritate the narcissistic parent is the right approach. I would find a good attorney to help you sort this out.
@@NakedNarcissism totally 6 cases running in courts .. still not able to get access.. trying my level best to coparent or getting in good terms so child is not affected..
This is all wrong and exemplifies how so many don’t understand parental alienation.
I certainly understand you might have a different perspective, but the content I shared is true in my life and in my situation.