The exact statement I keep saying to myself!! I am trying hard to break my soul tie and trauma bond to this swine. I refuse to linger in this for months and years trying to recover.
They only do it to their supply. Who knows, maybe mine is doing the same to his family. He certainly didn't show concern or respect for me when we were together. It makes you wonder "why me"?
A while back I cut off my Ex-business partner and a Sociopath. Emails:silence Text messages: silence Phone calls and messages: silence His attempt to contact me was an attempt to manipulate yet again. Silence is Golden! 😎
V-P got it right! Sever them out of your life-no 2nd chances of ANY kind to weasel their way back into your life-to "finish the job" of destroying you. Look up the word: L-O-S-E-R, in the dictionary, and, there is their picture for the definition. When they get "old", they no longer have anything a person wants- no money, personality, character, integrity, no loyalty even. When they die, it's alone. I had a roommate and, he was this very way! He's now 73, I'm 58-we shared a house for 16 months. I got wise to his stupidity, and, turned his game on him. He took a sirrated edged knife to my throat on a Friday night, he next morning after he left for his "self-soothing gloating" event, I packed up and moved out before he got back from the event. That was 34 years ago and I have NEVER looked back! Now, my WTH moment is: I still care about/for the "jack-wad"! Some slap me the stupid out of me, quick!!😱 Doug,. There was NEVER any sexual relationship between us (Eww gross)!
@@LDuke-pc7kq yes. I'm in an inheritance black hole with my narc aunt. I have no idea how to figure it out. Whatever ends up happening its gonna be a lesson for never again
Had you been more patient and intelligent, you could have fed him until you REALLY got what you wanted out of the situation. They play the long game, so play the longer game. Don't wrestle with pigs??.... Don't wrestle with anyone you can't turn from a pig to your very own prince. I have experience. Use them back. I won, I continue to win every day. I'm a former codependent turned absolute god of my environment. It does turn upside down, it does make you more extreme.
Me too. Mom died.. i dont get depression any more. Had to do probate with brother.. a fkn narc. Fell out. Couldnt care, knew my dad was one. Knew my little bro was. Then my other brothers mask fell off. So i had a whole painfully blissfull upgrade in my human surroundings. I tought i was braindamaged from them bashing me in my cot as baby. Seriously. There all gone.. i had backed out of that vibe 16 years ago. And read the road less travels, but i didnt know what most the tectnical terms, like narrsisist, codependancy, borderline ect. My family died to me. And actually physicaly died.. lost our home to banks. Lost loads of property and turned into a crying rock that had to pack up. Probate, cry cry cry. Sleeping on hard floor in sitting room coz everything in boxes. Worse shii ever !!! But then i move in with a narc cluster b heavey alcoholic ex.. ruinned. Couldnt stand. Walk. I rehabilitated this old woman looking dieing dickhead.. i did it got her beuitifull ( looking ) again and healthy and strong.... Bad move !! She got cumfy and dropped the mask and ram a muck.. fkn hell. But i stumbled upon the best subject on the net.. thats absolutly ruining the world. CLUSTER B " PERSONALITY/ COVERT PREDITORS. JEEEEEEZUUUUS !! ITS OVER LAST WEEK OR SO.. AND IM GETTING THAT DRAINING AND WEAKNESS YU GET WHEN YU LEAVE.. BIT OF TIME TO NORMALIZE, POSSITIVLY CHARGE ! AGAIN. AND DETOX MY MIND AND ENERGY BY TOTALLY DISGARDING THEM OUT MY MIND AND HENCE ENERGY.. I THINK IF YU ARE BROUGHT UP BY NARCS ECT. I THINK THE FAKENESS FROM OTHERS SEEMS USUAL.. LIKE MY FOLKS. SO MAYBE THATS WHY I DIDNT KNOWTICE THEM.. BUT NOW I SEE THE FKS EVERYWHERE. BULLSHITING ON TV. GOV. COPS. JUDGES. PEOPLE IN SERVICES AND SALES. DOCTORS, NURSES, FKN Counselors ( THEY CAN EVEN ABUSE A NARC VICTIM THATS IN PHYCOTHERAPHY. ASK SCOTT PECK. THEY TARGET THESE TYPE JOBS TO DO THERE SHIII. ECT ECT TO BLOODY INFINATY
My sister even punished our cat when we were teens, our cat bite her because she was holding him and she would not let him go...then my sister started to choke our cat, he was a white cat and his face literally turned blue.
I did that once. The evil look on that thing was remarkable. It tried to come after me but i really think they failed . still wouldnt recommend it tho. Run don't walk
Interesting when i read comments like these. It makes me question all the advice to run away. Our culture is becoming more narcissistic ... surely the only solution is to face our demons. Ive observed many that run away just recreate the same chemistry with other people. Change only happens within us...thats all we have control over.
Yeah I'm having a hard time believing that my family turned into these people because over time they would just pretend to love me I guess and then take note of what I don't like and use it against me
After 20+ years with a narcissist I left and finallystayed gone. I got in therapy and struggled with identifying my part in the break up of the marriage. After he explained narcissism to me, a light went off in my head! He said that I should never have given him the fight. I have the patience of Job, but he'd push me until I'd fight back. He loved the fight. No one ever talked about abuse and narcissism back when I was young. I'm so glad that people are getting educated about it today. The only thing you can do when you identify a narcissist is RUN and don't look back.
They're so charming in the beginning but then they grind you down and you become exhausted 😳 my childhood gave me CPTSD (long before it became a famous thing to have)
And the sneaky thing is, they don’t have to do much. We’re the ones wrestling with their meta-communications and micro-aggressions while an unsuspecting bystander might see the scene differently with the narcissist as the long-suffering “victim,” and us as the out-of-control “fishwife.”
So true. Micro and meta. I told her once she reminded me of my mother. She was that good! Great actors. Chameleons. Reptiles. Turns out this woman was triangulating everyone. Yes everyone. The poor calculating victim.
@@monicawarren3678 If you grew up wt two Narcissistic parents and where the Scapegoat, you are an Heyoka Empath, look to the channel Empath Uprising and find the signs of a Heyoka ‼️The same here, my mother was a Covert Narcissist wt dead eyes that said, not interested, my father was violent and abusive and so terrible to me as the Scapegoat, that I had to block my daily life out of my mind to survive ‼️💎Starseed, INFJ Heyoka Empath.
@@khoango2337 Its so f*cked up, that people have a hard time believing what youre saying when you describe what went on in a narcissistic relationship. Its like your telling them you saw a f*cking ghost.
It's said, they are the most difficult to spot, bcs they are seen as nice and are called profesional victims, but their target gets heavily abused behind closed doors ‼️Thanks for sharing and exposing Narcissists ‼️👍
My father is exactly this and I've been in therapy for over 7 years trying to undo the damage of 20+ years of the abuse I've had to go through because of him. The worst part is he can't see he has done any wrong
I had no idea that that's what I was feeling with anole and learned what a narcissist was this past year. I'm shocked to discover through reading comments of how many people are dealing with one and how many are out there. I'm still dealing with mine after 45 years. Just recently separated myself but my family can't understand why.
@Contact exactly. I'm self employed and the worst people you could work for are middle management from one of those places; the women being the worst. (Not all obviously)
I read a comment tonight that said “Give up the dream Narc” lol it made me laugh because it’s true. It’s only a dream they can con people forever and as a matter of fact I believe God is saying TIMES UP” to these people with all the info out there exposing them
My first thought is I've known narcs who pull it off until their last breath. Then I finished reading your comment - so true!!! All the info out now, people en masses are getting wise to them, and not getting manipulated by them. I think it is getting harder for them to find new supply.
It didn’t- it’s meant to show you how strong you are. They’re here to dim the light of the good on this earth- I completely believe it’s a spiritual battle. I was a stay at home mom to 2 little girls. My ex is famous, which made it even more difficult because people idolize him, and who goes against what a famous person says? Not many. I raised our daughters pretty much alone until we split up and then a few years after. He married a custody lawyer. My kids have now been alienated 3 years from me. I had no money, no family, 2 kids, a broken soul, trauma, disbelief, thought I was really the bad one- the cognitive dissonance- My mother committed suicide, found out ex was trying to pin me with 65k in irs fraud (I hadn’t worked at all in 9 years). I had an abusive childhood, neglected as well. I am an empath because of it. Look, I was broken to bits - but I would t give him the ultimate pleasure- suicide. Go be in nature - write a lot- watch these videos- get validation. If I can do this, you can do this ❤
So dam true, I just use the ignore process, not interested approach, giving them any form of attention be it good or bad is just fuel for them to be even more nasty 😤😤
They are worst on the job because they can sabotage others so easily. Most know what they are, but few, especially supervisors, buck them because narcs make everything into a a dramatic ordeal. If people complain or stand up to them, it comes back to bite them. At least, in personal relationships, we can go no contact more easily. At work, we can’t. I was let go from one job because a narc complained about me; this was even after one manager agreed with me that the narc was out of line. Then the head super sided with the narc. I found a new job.
I thought it was odd that my neighbour always had fresh flowers in every window of her house, even in her barn window until I discovered that she is a covert narcissist. She literally hides behind flowers. The impression she wants to give is sweetness and beauty. The reality is something quite shocking.
Just got out of a 4-year relationship w a covert after knowing him in a business setting for 20 YEARS! He was such a nice guy as a friend and acquaintance. My head is STILL spinning.
I love that expression, I'll remember it! Years ago i was watching videos about exorcisms from Father Ripperger. He said exorcists must NEVER engage with the demon, just get it out, don't engage. I didn't know about narcissism then, but realized that was also good advice for dealing with certain types of people. Don't engage.
💯✔ I had to learn to have the Terminator mindset with them. Silence with them, only behave like robot with truth bonds when they do attack and walk away. So far so good.
Brilliant! i have been so hard on myself not understanding why I get so angry - I tried to help him with communicstion skills - just learned my first boyfriend now husband has always been a covert Narcissist. So charming to everyone else. Engage: Robot Mode 🙏🏽
My firstborn who's 42 has painted a nice hard working man character!; He became a Marine at 17 fireman and paramedic. He became just like his abusive Father!! When we divorced he taught our son to hate me with hate classes behind my back! There was a time when my son and I were very close and loving!!; Behind my back my own son told everyone I was a abusive Mother and he was a victim!! He moved 1200 miles. Away and got married without inviting me and abandoned me for 14 years and I learned he had a 7 yr old son!! I cried I was soooo hurt. Out of the blue he called telling me he loved me and had been soooo cruel smearing me to everyone!!! He admit he made up abuse !! I cried but I could tell he felt powerful hurting me. He gives excuses why I shouldn't hurry coming out because he told his wife I was this monster and she fears you!! I said " you lied about me and I will expose you!!" He went nuts with emotional abuse calling me crazy and was a horrible mother!!! I said " ohhh a few days ago you said I was a great mom; your mixed up now ya hate me? ( Wrestling with pigs). My son is sooo demonic using me to get attention like he's a victim and he's on a spot because if I meet his family and new friend he fears they will see I'm a nice loving mother and he will look bad like he's a liar!! So. He spent 5 months in silence with me and blocked me. Now he sent pics of my grandson like all is well. It's a abusive pattern. He draws me in then abandons me!! This time I simply ignored him. My nerves cant handle his bizarre pattern
When I have to argue with someone in order to defend myself , it usually takes everything out of me . Not the narcissist . This is playing their best game .
Yes - I has become clear to me that I’ve been that pig. My kind, patient husband is now wise to this and we are parting after 42 years. I have drained him and traumatized his identity and reality, but he’s fighting his way out of my toxic fog. I’m not interested in a new partner because I don’t want to do this again to someone else.
Wow… I know this post is a long time ago but I’m so glad to hear someone recognise their narcissistic behaviour and the damage it does to people, truly hope your ex partner and yourself have healed from this .. ❤
@@selinasamuels3899😱Wowie! This is the first time I heard someone finally acknowledge that their being a narcissist has ruined someone's soul. Kudos to you. May both of you heal. 🙏❤️🩹🤍🕊️
Observing did not work for me. For the fact that I was afraid to leave. It can not work for a long term relationship. The aggressiveness only increases. The constant metamorphosis of tactics will break you. It doesn't matter how in control of yourself that you are. You will be destroyed eventually. I was fearful of losing my daughter. I eventually got in the mud anyway. I should have left a decade before I did. I died inside. Now I am effectively a brain damaged child. Having no choice but to struggle to even string together simple tasks throughout the day. I am rarely coherent. I advise to leave after the point of recognizing what you are dealing with. Immediately or as soon as possible. DO NOT PUT IT OFF! To do so only lessons the faculties and resources that are available to you. I may never be right again. I have had to radically accept this. I hope that this can help someone else. Thank you.
I am so sorry to hear this for you, truly. Thank you for sharing this warning & I truly hope God grants you healing & peace, I KNOW God can send you what us best for you.
I will not entertain myself until losers and pathetic as people that don't want to listen I just ignore it or walk away and act like I don't know them see you thank you sir
Don't let the ones who don't believe you dictate what to do with your life. I didn't ask for help from anyone...went to God because He saw and He knew. Others didn't see what I lived with. Narcissists are nasty. My ex was awful and I asked God to help me and He made me strong and I divorced him when my children were 3 and 8. Sad to break up a family, yes, but I didn't want them to be messed up....They are lovely, beautiful, smart, good adults and see his issues and God helped us escape a nightmare.
Divorce with him... My divorce attorney has changed three times.Been doing this for 3 years. It's really frustrating. A few years later, I'm taking care of a child who will graduate from high school, and my husband's financial abuse only increases my credit card. He is doing his best to make me suffer and keep the marital property from being settled, and seems to be preventing divorce. His mother is also one of them. I am thank you for knowing what the problem was with my 22years marriage.🙏
Oh goodness I bought the nice guy act and struggled daily, but he does amazing things his friends think he’s wonderful. Now I’m paying I went back enough times that now I am struggling with his devaluation. He destroyed me and almost my job. He is the most evil manipulative human I have ever crossed. My best advice DO NOT ENGAGE with these people you will never win. Run and gray rock and ignore. Block and never look back. It’s one of the most damaging relationships you will ever have to recover from.
Stated perfectly It is so obvious to the ones who actually love us, I have times of clarity as well, but I still struggle cutting my soul tie and trauma bond to him. Then I am mad at myself for ever crying or stressing over him.
I'm one that stayed over 33 urs with mine... My daughter tells me "I just don't know how to quit him, mom!"...about hers of 16 yrs...breaks my heart but I cannot do anything but be there for her...IF/&WHEN she finally decides to leave him. She's also the only one out of our 3 kids that stays in contact with her father...so she still deals with his messed up, evilness, cruelty and manipulative mind games that he's done her entire life...😢
Living through it is the end of who you once were. Surviving it is the new person you are becoming. Unfortunately healing is not a straight line but a process. Longer if children are involved.
There was a friend of mine that I watched slowly turn into a narcissist. One day I witnessed him abusing another friend. It's amazing what knocking the s@#$% out of somebody can do to help them.
Everybody in my life is a toxic sociopathic narcissistic person that has always hurt me and even if I try to help them they turn around and try to kill me I don't understand these people and having them as parents is the hardest thing and the most impossible thing because they don't have empathy
Very true! I'm living this. I don't fight him about anything. I know I'm saving and going to stay strong, gray-rock, agree, let him talk about himself and his obsession with weight lifting and wanting plastic surgery. I think to myself, "You are already ugly. Nothing can make you likable or beautiful. It's all a facade. Yes, I'm fooling the fool that thinks he is fooling me. But im getting out. I love him, but it's not for the right reasons. I have to work on my inner self and heal from this toxic relationship. Very well said, he knows what he's talking about. Thank you for sharing!!
Last year i was watching your videos. It helps to finallg free to my ex narcissist. I was manipulated for20 years. ON AND OFF relationship with him. O finally found hes a narcissist. After warching all ypur videos.
Never fight or act irritated with a person with ASpd and NPD. They will rage at you because they think you made them feel stupid or shame. Act neutral and ignore then leave.
Don’t forget females can also be covert narcissists, I was with one for 23 years! 3 years on I’ve managed to work it all out and it’s a lonely recovery space knowing you can’t get any closure from confronting your ex! 😢
It took me years to realize that he LOVED fighting when I finally quit&we were getting divorced he said (completely serious) that he was gonna miss me because he didn't know anyone else who was smart enough to fight with him. He said most people were too stupid and there was no challenge 🤯🙄
My narc wife of 27 years has been terrible for almost our entire 30 years. Always a rift between us. Took my kids at 8 and 6 , everything out of my house , and about 22 grand I had stashed , called the police and said I was choking and abusing my kids to shame me. Threatening to get child support and let somebody else raise my kids with her. I made decision to shut up and let her put me down and be the dad my kids would know . Fast forward to now: she's in federal prison for stealing 250k from a local church she worked at and tried to accuse them of stealing. Judge saw what she has done and explained how long she has been doing it in open court. She just received a 5 year prison sentence,and just settling in. Will get her divorce papers shortly Any arguments will be met with my grownup kids testimony. Can't understand somebody to be like this and just be so hateful and cruel. She won't even miss me after our lifetime together. She'll only miss the stuff I bought her.😢
Some of the most blatant narcs I've encountered are choir directors. I'm a young autistic person and I am very loving and talented. My choir director will promise me a solo and set aside a song for me to lead then blow through the rehearsal of that song. Give us ten minutes to run through it! Every time I confronted him he'd ignore me and go to the next piece without making eye contact. Yet every time I enter a room he'd literally sit at my feet and kiss my hand trying to charm me. It was a bit excessive and creepy. But when I asked why he was acting that way he'd call me delusional 😬 I concluded that he just wanted the power and I could never be settled around him because he had to keep me guessing constantly. It's exhausting! Four years of that cycle and I left. He's tried to con me back but I refuse
Churches can attract narcissists. I'm autistic too and was a narc magnet for a long time. Autistic people are easier targets. Danish Bashir pointed out one thing we have in our favor when dealing with narcs - we're harder to read and unpredictable for them. Interesting.
Ok see now Im torn, on one of your other videos, you speak in such absolutes regarding Narcissists, but then you say such deep and accurate things that make me question why I'd defend a narcissist in the first place.
When I finally left, my brother said, "bunnies should stay away from scorpions " Never thought of returning...his new supply, already waiting. But, I warned her. Glad I'm healing and my children safe.
The fighting makes us sick but they happen to get off on it. It's almost like they drive energy from it. The more they can get us to fight with them the happier they are
@@jf8468 Yes, I keep falling for it but I am working hard on letting go of all hope of having a normal healthy relationship. I love them but no longer want to take their blame and projection. I’m done being the family punching bag!!!
Yeah the problem with this is that it’s not really an individual thing entirely. It’s a cultural thing. I can’t hold a job because people like this are always running things and they want to break you the minute you walk in the door and tax you routinely to maintain their confidence. It’s called management. And everybody’s doin it. Employers, body corporates, community leaders. Maybe it’s just me. That’s what they’d say. But I’m old enough to see it and unless I play in, it’s be the victim or f*^k off. This is our culture. The people you call psychopaths are leaders current standards.
Sometimes you have no choice if they are your boss. That being said, I'm only "fighting" by telling the truth to our superiors. If it doesn't work, I'm out. I hate to walk away. I love my job. But, if the truth doesn't solve the problem then I'm out.
I’m in a relationship with this man for 19 years recently married for six. He doesn’t seem to understand the boundaries I have of him hanging out with his ex wife at family gatherings as if they were buddies in front of my face. So I disengaged from all that and stay away from this toxic Situation. So when I tell him about my boundaries, he yells at me trying to say that, ‘“I don’t let him go to family gatherings!”’ instead of hearing me out about how it affects my feelings. His wife had sexual relationships with his own brother, and then she went and married one of his army friends, but then her husband was killed in a motorcycle accident so she lets herself be very comfortable when it comes to associating with my husband, and he just acts like the 2 families were never damaged, but I assure you they are all emotionally damaged. I am close to his family, except his daughter always trying to get them together. I am out of the house and looking forward to a better life. It’s just gonna be a process if God is with me who can be against me, in the mighty name of Jesus Christ Amen❤🎉🎉
I was told from my husband as a woman after 16 years, I just want what I paid for and he told me that I had to pay for his services😢. And in our whole entire relationship it was always 20/80% received in his favor and 80/20% given until I said NO.... And the numbers were more than what it was. However I did that to myself. 😢
" Dont cast your pearls before swine " !🙏🙏🙏
Amen and Amen
Love this!
It took me a long time to learn that lesson 🥀
The exact statement I keep saying to myself!!
I am trying hard to break my soul tie and trauma bond to this swine. I refuse to linger in this for months and years trying to recover.
" or they will trample yur love and attack yu for it. " Sounds about right.
When you walk away...Guess what....the ones who did not beleave you become new targets.
They only do it to their supply. Who knows, maybe mine is doing the same to his family. He certainly didn't show concern or respect for me when we were together. It makes you wonder "why me"?
A while back I cut off my Ex-business partner and a Sociopath.
Emails:silence
Text messages: silence
Phone calls and messages: silence
His attempt to contact me was an attempt to manipulate yet again.
Silence is Golden! 😎
Thank you.
I've learned I get no where with the ex-friend. I was always wrong and it's always my fault.
Thank you for helping.
Yikes it's terrible when you businesses get destroyed
V-P got it right! Sever them out of your life-no 2nd chances of ANY kind to weasel their way back into your life-to "finish the job" of destroying you. Look up the word: L-O-S-E-R, in the dictionary, and, there is their picture for the definition. When they get "old", they no longer have anything a person wants- no money, personality, character, integrity, no loyalty even. When they die, it's alone. I had a roommate and, he was this very way! He's now 73, I'm 58-we shared a house for 16 months. I got wise to his stupidity, and, turned his game on him. He took a sirrated edged knife to my throat on a Friday night, he next morning after he left for his "self-soothing gloating" event, I packed up and moved out before he got back from the event. That was 34 years ago and I have NEVER looked back! Now, my WTH moment is: I still care about/for the "jack-wad"! Some slap me the stupid out of me, quick!!😱 Doug,. There was NEVER any sexual relationship between us (Eww gross)!
@@LDuke-pc7kq yes. I'm in an inheritance black hole with my narc aunt. I have no idea how to figure it out. Whatever ends up happening its gonna be a lesson for never again
Had you been more patient and intelligent, you could have fed him until you REALLY got what you wanted out of the situation. They play the long game, so play the longer game. Don't wrestle with pigs??.... Don't wrestle with anyone you can't turn from a pig to your very own prince. I have experience. Use them back. I won, I continue to win every day. I'm a former codependent turned absolute god of my environment. It does turn upside down, it does make you more extreme.
I've exposed the narcs in my family and I don't care ONE BIT what they think. They can't hurt me anymore!
It's best to keep your distance if you want to keep your sanity.
indedd
Me too. Mom died.. i dont get depression any more. Had to do probate with brother.. a fkn narc. Fell out. Couldnt care, knew my dad was one. Knew my little bro was. Then my other brothers mask fell off. So i had a whole painfully blissfull upgrade in my human surroundings. I tought i was braindamaged from them bashing me in my cot as baby. Seriously. There all gone.. i had backed out of that vibe 16 years ago. And read the road less travels, but i didnt know what most the tectnical terms, like narrsisist, codependancy, borderline ect. My family died to me. And actually physicaly died.. lost our home to banks. Lost loads of property and turned into a crying rock that had to pack up. Probate, cry cry cry. Sleeping on hard floor in sitting room coz everything in boxes. Worse shii ever !!! But then i move in with a narc cluster b heavey alcoholic ex.. ruinned. Couldnt stand. Walk. I rehabilitated this old woman looking dieing dickhead.. i did it got her beuitifull ( looking ) again and healthy and strong.... Bad move !! She got cumfy and dropped the mask and ram a muck.. fkn hell. But i stumbled upon the best subject on the net.. thats absolutly ruining the world. CLUSTER B " PERSONALITY/ COVERT PREDITORS. JEEEEEEZUUUUS !! ITS OVER LAST WEEK OR SO.. AND IM GETTING THAT DRAINING AND WEAKNESS YU GET WHEN YU LEAVE.. BIT OF TIME TO NORMALIZE, POSSITIVLY CHARGE ! AGAIN. AND DETOX MY MIND AND ENERGY BY TOTALLY DISGARDING THEM OUT MY MIND AND HENCE ENERGY.. I THINK IF YU ARE BROUGHT UP BY NARCS ECT. I THINK THE FAKENESS FROM OTHERS SEEMS USUAL.. LIKE MY FOLKS. SO MAYBE THATS WHY I DIDNT KNOWTICE THEM.. BUT NOW I SEE THE FKS EVERYWHERE. BULLSHITING ON TV. GOV. COPS. JUDGES. PEOPLE IN SERVICES AND SALES. DOCTORS, NURSES, FKN Counselors ( THEY CAN EVEN ABUSE A NARC VICTIM THATS IN PHYCOTHERAPHY. ASK SCOTT PECK. THEY TARGET THESE TYPE JOBS TO DO THERE SHIII. ECT ECT TO BLOODY INFINATY
I AGREE because that is what I have experienced from my property manager wereI now live.
I don't fight. I just speak Truth.
Punishment is their enjoyment. They are sadistic
Definitely. They ARE ACTING. They are cruel.
My sister even punished our cat when we were teens, our cat bite her because she was holding him and she would not let him go...then my sister started to choke our cat, he was a white cat and his face literally turned blue.
She sounds like a psychopath @@gloriabult2967
@@gloriabult2967 oh no. Is she borderline?
Also, what they live for is an emotional reaction from you. They don't care if it's good or bad they just want that reaction.
🎯
And if they don’t get a reaction they flip out!!!!
@@prettylady0676Yes, always needing and causing drama. Exhausting! Such a waste of good energy.
As Mark Twain advised "... he will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience."
Genuine laughter at a narcissist infuriates them!
It's not worth it
@@juliemclain5841yeah, it's just showing contempt. Why bother losing yourself like that? Don't wanna become like the pig
So does questioning them! Just don't bother. A huge row will erupt. It will be shoved back on you. They will make you look bad.
I did that once. The evil look on that thing was remarkable. It tried to come after me but i really think they failed . still wouldnt recommend it tho. Run don't walk
They'll cosy up to a total stranger to bring you down! My mother did it, my friends did it and coworkers as well.
It's all about controlling you
😢
Spot on
Interesting when i read comments like these. It makes me question all the advice to run away. Our culture is becoming more narcissistic ... surely the only solution is to face our demons. Ive observed many that run away just recreate the same chemistry with other people. Change only happens within us...thats all we have control over.
Yeah I'm having a hard time believing that my family turned into these people because over time they would just pretend to love me I guess and then take note of what I don't like and use it against me
After 20+ years with a narcissist I left and finallystayed gone. I got in therapy and struggled with identifying my part in the break up of the marriage. After he explained narcissism to me, a light went off in my head! He said that I should never have given him the fight. I have the patience of Job, but he'd push me until I'd fight back. He loved the fight. No one ever talked about abuse and narcissism back when I was young. I'm so glad that people are getting educated about it today. The only thing you can do when you identify a narcissist is RUN and don't look back.
I stand by your message. Holding a toxic person accountable is like waking through quicksand. The more you try, the deeper you will sink.
They're so charming in the beginning but then they grind you down and you become exhausted 😳 my childhood gave me CPTSD (long before it became a famous thing to have)
Even being in their presence drains you dry, I can't even think for myself or function around these people 😔😔
The same i hope you did overcome some or all of those traumas ,tkank you 😊.
@@mcm6563 you too❤️
And the sneaky thing is, they don’t have to do much. We’re the ones wrestling with their meta-communications and micro-aggressions while an unsuspecting bystander might see the scene differently with the narcissist as the long-suffering “victim,” and us as the out-of-control “fishwife.”
Yep, everyone loved my parents but no one knows what goes on behind closed doors.
Well spoken 👏
So true. Micro and meta. I told her once she reminded me of my mother. She was that good! Great actors. Chameleons. Reptiles. Turns out this woman was triangulating everyone. Yes everyone. The poor calculating victim.
@@monicawarren3678 If you grew up wt two Narcissistic parents and where the Scapegoat, you are an Heyoka Empath, look to the channel Empath Uprising and find the signs of a Heyoka ‼️The same here, my mother was a Covert Narcissist wt dead eyes that said, not interested, my father was violent and abusive and so terrible to me as the Scapegoat, that I had to block my daily life out of my mind to survive ‼️💎Starseed, INFJ Heyoka Empath.
I came to the point that I don't give a "crap" what other people think about me! They haven't lived my life! 🎤
"Don't wrestle with pigs. You're going to get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it." Thanks so much for sharing this!
"dont wrestle with pigs" brilliant
Thats from the Gospel. Don't throw your pearls to swine
Sick pigs
The pig likes it 😂
Any type of interaction...like "How are you today?"
Don't answer that question...not any question!
Yes. We should not engage, explain, defend or personalise anything narcisists say or do. Staying away from those people is key.
"If you fight the devil, you will ignite the devil...let sleeping dogs lie." - Reverend Ike
This is so true! Best move is no move! Let them argue with themselves.
When you give the description of the covert narc/sociopath it sounds like a horror movie.
It is, in real life. If you want to see a good thriller / horror movie that show cases covert narcissism, check out 'The Orphan'
It is a Horror movie!! ❤ Be Very Careful & get Away!!
Horror movies have nothing on real life things like this .
@@khoango2337 Its so f*cked up, that people have a hard time believing what youre saying when you describe what went on in a narcissistic relationship. Its like your telling them you saw a f*cking ghost.
Well they're nightmares
Co-parenting with a narc is unavoidable fighting. They create situations you cannot ignore if you care about yourself & your children.
It's said, they are the most difficult to spot, bcs they are seen as nice and are called profesional victims, but their target gets heavily abused behind closed doors ‼️Thanks for sharing and exposing Narcissists ‼️👍
My father is exactly this and I've been in therapy for over 7 years trying to undo the damage of 20+ years of the abuse I've had to go through because of him. The worst part is he can't see he has done any wrong
My mother is the same, I have bad mental health because of her wicked ways 😡
They can/do see it, they just refuse to acknowledge it...
I had no idea that that's what I was feeling with anole and learned what a narcissist was this past year. I'm shocked to discover through reading comments of how many people are dealing with one and how many are out there. I'm still dealing with mine after 45 years. Just recently separated myself but my family can't understand why.
I’m Irish ☘️ so I appreciate the George Bernard share quote.
It explains the narcissist down to a tee and not wasting your energy on
them.
Sometimes I think we have a high proportion of narcs in irl by head of population
@@gulag8735 we are a tiny island and a very dysfunctional country and sure throw in a bit of Christianity ✝️
@Contact exactly. I'm self employed and the worst people you could work for are middle management from one of those places; the women being the worst. (Not all obviously)
Great quote, really says it well. ire here too!
The 2 Irish people I knew are narcissists, seems like ur country is full ot them 🤧
So basically what needs be said. Is just walk away and forget them...
Don't forget
I read a comment tonight that said “Give up the dream Narc” lol it made me laugh because it’s true. It’s only a dream they can con people forever and as a matter of fact I believe God is saying TIMES UP” to these people with all the info out there exposing them
My first thought is I've known narcs who pull it off until their last breath. Then I finished reading your comment - so true!!! All the info out now, people en masses are getting wise to them, and not getting manipulated by them. I think it is getting harder for them to find new supply.
I think I truly hope that is what God is saying... only God truly knows...
You have no idea how much you've helped me.
It hurts so bad. It’s ruined my mind. My heart. My life.
It didn’t- it’s meant to show you how strong you are. They’re here to dim the light of the good on this earth- I completely believe it’s a spiritual battle.
I was a stay at home mom to 2 little girls. My ex is famous, which made it even more difficult because people idolize him, and who goes against what a famous person says? Not many.
I raised our daughters pretty much alone until we split up and then a few years after. He married a custody lawyer. My kids have now been alienated 3 years from me.
I had no money, no family, 2 kids, a broken soul, trauma, disbelief, thought I was really the bad one- the cognitive dissonance-
My mother committed suicide, found out ex was trying to pin me with 65k in irs fraud (I hadn’t worked at all in 9 years).
I had an abusive childhood, neglected as well. I am an empath because of it. Look, I was broken to bits - but I would t give him the ultimate pleasure- suicide.
Go be in nature - write a lot- watch these videos- get validation. If I can do this, you can do this ❤
@@Somebodysomewheresometime your a amazing lady, he never deserved you, he will pay for his sins against you, yes, its spiritual warfare.
NAMI helps. You got away; you're already on a winning track forward
Don't stay in this mindset, please! I was married to a somatic narcissist for 14 years
@@naomiwest9622 if its spiritual warfare,he has 2pay 4sure!
So true, and they will just find a way to turn around anything you say against you no matter how well thought out you think what you're saying is.
I am so glad ytou are saying this.. the number of youtube channels that suggest you can fight with a narc! JUST RUN FOR THE HILLS!
So dam true, I just use the ignore process, not interested approach, giving them any form of attention be it good or bad is just fuel for them to be even more nasty 😤😤
They are worst on the job because they can sabotage others so easily. Most know what they are, but few, especially supervisors, buck them because narcs make everything into a a dramatic ordeal. If people complain or stand up to them, it comes back to bite them. At least, in personal relationships, we can go no contact more easily. At work, we can’t. I was let go from one job because a narc complained about me; this was even after one manager agreed with me that the narc was out of line. Then the head super sided with the narc. I found a new job.
I thought it was odd that my neighbour always had fresh flowers in every window of her house, even in her barn window until I discovered that she is a covert narcissist. She literally hides behind flowers. The impression she wants to give is sweetness and beauty. The reality is something quite shocking.
This is absolutely true!!!! The ex-husband tried to ,but I'm better than that. He speaks ugly about everyone and want you to engage with them
Ross you explained this to me in a Q&A then deleted the video, so good i found this clip of your explanation on the same topic!!
Just got out of a 4-year relationship w a covert after knowing him in a business setting for 20 YEARS! He was such a nice guy as a friend and acquaintance. My head is STILL spinning.
I love that expression, I'll remember it! Years ago i was watching videos about exorcisms from Father Ripperger. He said exorcists must NEVER engage with the demon, just get it out, don't engage. I didn't know about narcissism then, but realized that was also good advice for dealing with certain types of people. Don't engage.
I love this video it should be reposted every week. Please xxx
💯✔
I had to learn to have the Terminator mindset with them.
Silence with them, only behave like robot with truth bonds when they do attack and walk away.
So far so good.
Brilliant! i have been so hard on myself not understanding why I get so angry - I tried to help him with communicstion skills - just learned my first boyfriend now husband has always been a covert
Narcissist. So charming to everyone else. Engage: Robot Mode 🙏🏽
My firstborn who's 42 has painted a nice hard working man character!; He became a Marine at 17 fireman and paramedic. He became just like his abusive Father!! When we divorced he taught our son to hate me with hate classes behind my back! There was a time when my son and I were very close and loving!!; Behind my back my own son told everyone I was a abusive Mother and he was a victim!! He moved 1200 miles. Away and got married without inviting me and abandoned me for 14 years and I learned he had a 7 yr old son!! I cried I was soooo hurt. Out of the blue he called telling me he loved me and had been soooo cruel smearing me to everyone!!! He admit he made up abuse !! I cried but I could tell he felt powerful hurting me. He gives excuses why I shouldn't hurry coming out because he told his wife I was this monster and she fears you!! I said " you lied about me and I will expose you!!" He went nuts with emotional abuse calling me crazy and was a horrible mother!!! I said " ohhh a few days ago you said I was a great mom; your mixed up now ya hate me? ( Wrestling with pigs). My son is sooo demonic using me to get attention like he's a victim and he's on a spot because if I meet his family and new friend he fears they will see I'm a nice loving mother and he will look bad like he's a liar!! So. He spent 5 months in silence with me and blocked me. Now he sent pics of my grandson like all is well. It's a abusive pattern. He draws me in then abandons me!! This time I simply ignored him. My nerves cant handle his bizarre pattern
When I have to argue with someone in order to defend myself , it usually takes everything out of me . Not the narcissist . This is playing their best game .
Yes - I has become clear to me that I’ve been that pig. My kind, patient husband is now wise to this and we are parting after 42 years. I have drained him and traumatized his identity and reality, but he’s fighting his way out of my toxic fog. I’m not interested in a new partner because I don’t want to do this again to someone else.
Wow… I know this post is a long time ago but I’m so glad to hear someone recognise their narcissistic behaviour and the damage it does to people, truly hope your ex partner and yourself have healed from this .. ❤
@@selinasamuels3899😱Wowie! This is the first time I heard someone finally acknowledge that their being a narcissist has ruined someone's soul. Kudos to you. May both of you heal. 🙏❤️🩹🤍🕊️
it's pointless to argue with 'em. so much more fun to dodge the bait and watch them squirm.
Observing did not work for me. For the fact that I was afraid to leave. It can not work for a long term relationship. The aggressiveness only increases. The constant metamorphosis of tactics will break you. It doesn't matter how in control of yourself that you are. You will be destroyed eventually. I was fearful of losing my daughter. I eventually got in the mud anyway. I should have left a decade before I did. I died inside. Now I am effectively a brain damaged child. Having no choice but to struggle to even string together simple tasks throughout the day. I am rarely coherent. I advise to leave after the point of recognizing what you are dealing with. Immediately or as soon as possible. DO NOT PUT IT OFF! To do so only lessons the faculties and resources that are available to you. I may never be right again. I have had to radically accept this. I hope that this can help someone else. Thank you.
I too have diminished functioning. Leaving a calm conversation - I am dizzy and in a washing machine. 20 years of this. They are leaving soon...
Lord knows what to have been going through and he will restore everything that has been stolen from you. Seek Him and He will give you peace.
I am so sorry to hear this for you, truly. Thank you for sharing this warning & I truly hope God grants you healing & peace, I KNOW God can send you what us best for you.
💯🙏🏾💯
I will not entertain myself until losers and pathetic as people that don't want to listen I just ignore it or walk away and act like I don't know them see you thank you sir
Cannot remember this enough. Thank you Ross ♥
Don't let the ones who don't believe you dictate what to do with your life. I didn't ask for help from anyone...went to God because He saw and He knew. Others didn't see what I lived with. Narcissists are nasty. My ex was awful and I asked God to help me and He made me strong and I divorced him when my children were 3 and 8. Sad to break up a family, yes, but I didn't want them to be messed up....They are lovely, beautiful, smart, good adults and see his issues and God helped us escape a nightmare.
Thank you for sharing this. I needed to hear this.
Battle not with monsters, lest ye become a monster.
Divorce with him...
My divorce attorney has changed three times.Been doing this for 3 years. It's really frustrating. A few years later, I'm taking care of a child who will graduate from high school, and my husband's financial abuse only increases my credit card. He is doing his best to make me suffer and keep the marital property from being settled, and seems to be preventing divorce. His mother is also one of them.
I am thank you for knowing what the problem was with my 22years marriage.🙏
Turn away, walk away fast and don't look back! Avoid, avoid, avoid!
Oh goodness I bought the nice guy act and struggled daily, but he does amazing things his friends think he’s wonderful.
Now I’m paying I went back enough times that now I am struggling with his devaluation. He destroyed me and almost my job. He is the most evil manipulative human I have ever crossed.
My best advice DO NOT ENGAGE with these people you will never win. Run and gray rock and ignore. Block and never look back. It’s one of the most damaging relationships you will ever have to recover from.
Stated perfectly
It is so obvious to the ones who actually love us, I have times of clarity as well, but I still struggle cutting my soul tie and trauma bond to him. Then I am mad at myself for ever crying or stressing over him.
I'm one that stayed over 33 urs with mine...
My daughter tells me "I just don't know how to quit him, mom!"...about hers of 16 yrs...breaks my heart but I cannot do anything but be there for her...IF/&WHEN she finally decides to leave him. She's also the only one out of our 3 kids that stays in contact with her father...so she still deals with his messed up, evilness, cruelty and manipulative mind games that he's done her entire life...😢
Exactly, I used to fall for this alot. Then she would give that sadistic smirk. Didn't know what to do with that.
Living through it is the end of who you once were. Surviving it is the new person you are becoming. Unfortunately healing is not a straight line but a process. Longer if children are involved.
Do not fight to with them or try to make sense. It will only lead to pain or death for you.
Thank you so much for this information sir.
There was a friend of mine that I watched slowly turn into a narcissist. One day I witnessed him abusing another friend. It's amazing what knocking the s@#$% out of somebody can do to help them.
Haha! I realized these people will never responds to appeals for decency, only consequences.
Everybody in my life is a toxic sociopathic narcissistic person that has always hurt me and even if I try to help them they turn around and try to kill me I don't understand these people and having them as parents is the hardest thing and the most impossible thing because they don't have empathy
Very true! I'm living this. I don't fight him about anything. I know I'm saving and going to stay strong, gray-rock, agree, let him talk about himself and his obsession with weight lifting and wanting plastic surgery. I think to myself, "You are already ugly. Nothing can make you likable or beautiful. It's all a facade. Yes, I'm fooling the fool that thinks he is fooling me. But im getting out. I love him, but it's not for the right reasons. I have to work on my inner self and heal from this toxic relationship. Very well said, he knows what he's talking about. Thank you for sharing!!
So true! Thanks
Last year i was watching your videos. It helps to finallg free to my ex narcissist. I was manipulated for20 years. ON AND OFF relationship with him. O finally found hes a narcissist. After warching all ypur videos.
Run from them. Take the blame and move on just get away from them!
Wise words Ross - thank you.
Thank you so much 😊
Thank you universe, I love you.
Never fight or act irritated with a person with ASpd and NPD. They will rage at you because they think you made them feel stupid or shame. Act neutral and ignore then leave.
Don’t forget females can also be covert narcissists, I was with one for 23 years! 3 years on I’ve managed to work it all out and it’s a lonely recovery space knowing you can’t get any closure from confronting your ex! 😢
It took me years to realize that he LOVED fighting when I finally quit&we were getting divorced he said (completely serious) that he was gonna miss me because he didn't know anyone else who was smart enough to fight with him. He said most people were too stupid and there was no challenge 🤯🙄
Wow 😲😲😲😲😢😢😢😢
My narc wife of 27 years has been terrible for almost our entire 30 years. Always a rift between us.
Took my kids at 8 and 6 , everything out of my house , and about 22 grand I had stashed , called the police and said I was choking and abusing my kids to shame me. Threatening to get child support and let somebody else raise my kids with her.
I made decision to shut up and let her put me down and be the dad my kids would know .
Fast forward to now: she's in federal prison for stealing 250k from a local church she worked at and tried to accuse them of stealing. Judge saw what she has done and explained how long she has been doing it in open court.
She just received a 5 year prison sentence,and just settling in. Will get her divorce papers shortly
Any arguments will be met with my grownup kids testimony.
Can't understand somebody to be like this and just be so hateful and cruel.
She won't even miss me after our lifetime together. She'll only miss the stuff I bought her.😢
Wow, so true
So true you telling all truth
Some of the most blatant narcs I've encountered are choir directors. I'm a young autistic person and I am very loving and talented. My choir director will promise me a solo and set aside a song for me to lead then blow through the rehearsal of that song. Give us ten minutes to run through it! Every time I confronted him he'd ignore me and go to the next piece without making eye contact. Yet every time I enter a room he'd literally sit at my feet and kiss my hand trying to charm me. It was a bit excessive and creepy. But when I asked why he was acting that way he'd call me delusional 😬 I concluded that he just wanted the power and I could never be settled around him because he had to keep me guessing constantly. It's exhausting! Four years of that cycle and I left. He's tried to con me back but I refuse
Churches can attract narcissists. I'm autistic too and was a narc magnet for a long time. Autistic people are easier targets. Danish Bashir pointed out one thing we have in our favor when dealing with narcs - we're harder to read and unpredictable for them. Interesting.
I scare them away every single time. Because wrestling is an understatement is why.
Ok see now Im torn, on one of your other videos, you speak in such absolutes regarding Narcissists, but then you say such deep and accurate things that make me question why I'd defend a narcissist in the first place.
You never win!
True story!
Thank you.
Absolutely Right on this is my x family member.😢
It makes so much sense now.
You sure are 💯 correct they do like it it's scary
No joke Ross he enjoyed it. I just cut my hair the shortest I could get it pisses them off
But are you happy with your new hairstyle? That’s all really matters.
You gave my families numbers
Theres nothing likeable about them !!!
Oh wow so True...🌹🌟
Yup absolutely true
EXCELLENT !!!!
Oh im dealing with that right now. Its fucking brutal what shes done to me in 5 short months. Its a nightmare
Been punished many times.
Thank you
When I finally left, my brother said, "bunnies should stay away from scorpions " Never thought of returning...his new supply, already waiting. But, I warned her. Glad I'm healing and my children safe.
The fighting makes us sick but they happen to get off on it. It's almost like they drive energy from it. The more they can get us to fight with them the happier they are
U R sooo right
Sooooo sooo true!
My siblings!
These demons are insane. Even when they act nice it’s a manipulation
@@jf8468 Yes, I keep falling for it but I am working hard on letting go of all hope of having a normal healthy relationship. I love them but no longer want to take their blame and projection. I’m done being the family punching bag!!!
So true!
Yeah the problem with this is that it’s not really an individual thing entirely. It’s a cultural thing. I can’t hold a job because people like this are always running things and they want to break you the minute you walk in the door and tax you routinely to maintain their confidence. It’s called management. And everybody’s doin it. Employers, body corporates, community leaders. Maybe it’s just me. That’s what they’d say. But I’m old enough to see it and unless I play in, it’s be the victim or f*^k off. This is our culture. The people you call psychopaths are leaders current standards.
If they can't "over share" vulnerability of a mistake they made themselves, watch out for that person
I had to do it, so that I can see how dangerous they get to be able to help protect others. Even warn the new supply
Nobody is afraid of them. And I'm not going to let them hurt someone else
I win
Sometimes you have no choice if they are your boss. That being said, I'm only "fighting" by telling the truth to our superiors. If it doesn't work, I'm out. I hate to walk away. I love my job. But, if the truth doesn't solve the problem then I'm out.
I’m in a relationship with this man for 19 years recently married for six. He doesn’t seem to understand the boundaries I have of him hanging out with his ex wife at family gatherings as if they were buddies in front of my face. So I disengaged from all that and stay away from this toxic Situation. So when I tell him about my boundaries, he yells at me trying to say that, ‘“I don’t let him go to family gatherings!”’ instead of hearing me out about how it affects my feelings. His wife had sexual relationships with his own brother, and then she went and married one of his army friends, but then her husband was killed in a motorcycle accident so she lets herself be very comfortable when it comes to associating with my husband, and he just acts like the 2 families were never damaged, but I assure you they are all emotionally damaged. I am close to his family, except his daughter always trying to get them together. I am out of the house and looking forward to a better life. It’s just gonna be a process if God is with me who can be against me, in the mighty name of Jesus Christ Amen❤🎉🎉
I was told from my husband as a woman after 16 years, I just want what I paid for and he told me that I had to pay for his services😢. And in our whole entire relationship it was always 20/80% received in his favor and 80/20% given until I said NO.... And the numbers were more than what it was. However I did that to myself. 😢