Super Tuesday In Space | Biden’s Biggest Competition | McConnell’s Final Act | NY Times’ Lousy Poll

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  • Опубліковано 5 бер 2024
  • American astronauts cast their primary votes from Earth’s orbit yesterday, President Biden’s biggest primary threat wasn’t named Jason Palmer, Senator Mitch McConnell endorsed Trump, and the latest presidential polling from The New York Times is complete garbage.
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 2,4 тис.

  • @anthonymatthews3698
    @anthonymatthews3698 2 місяці тому +865

    All jokes aside, I’m so sick of trump. Can we have an understanding that when he loses the election, again, we all just stop talking about him and giving him a platform no matter what shite he comes up with. It’s time to move on.

    • @jkap34
      @jkap34 2 місяці тому +109

      I am hoping the justice system holds up and puts him in prison.

    • @tarielkaroldan4106
      @tarielkaroldan4106 2 місяці тому

      He's going to win. It's bad news for America and, ostensibly, the world but it will happen

    • @LollieVox
      @LollieVox 2 місяці тому +23

      I wish but they are going to be debriefing for years Ugg 😟

    • @adamgill537
      @adamgill537 2 місяці тому +12

      Yes

    • @LollieVox
      @LollieVox 2 місяці тому

      @@tarielkaroldan4106It would suck if that happened because anyone who thinks it’s ok to force their so called “morals” on the other- while cheating with gerrymandering and the circus that is the maga cult- will think it unfair when their choice of dictator forces his agenda on them- tRump or Putin will have literally no obligation to do anything you want!
      Facism is not Gods will

  • @rbnallen95
    @rbnallen95 2 місяці тому +853

    McConnell has this one chance to actually do the right thing, and still he is spineless.

    • @courtneybrubaker9738
      @courtneybrubaker9738 2 місяці тому +31

      He did the wrong thing.

    • @neebs929
      @neebs929 2 місяці тому +48

      He's the definition of power hungry despot.

    • @ericminch
      @ericminch 2 місяці тому +30

      @@neebs929 He's an example, not a definition. A definition is a verbal description. McConnell is rarely verbal, and even then often either incomprehensible or nonsensical.

    • @vvohvaelez9277
      @vvohvaelez9277 2 місяці тому +32

      very Ted Cruz of him

    • @lyellclare9365
      @lyellclare9365 2 місяці тому

      He always has been a spineless, corrupt a/hole.

  • @sophiaherschel567
    @sophiaherschel567 2 місяці тому +574

    "The forest was shrinking but the trees kept voting for the Axe, for the Axe was clever and convinced the trees that because his handle was made of wood, he was one of them." Turkish proverb.

    • @WaningGibbous
      @WaningGibbous 2 місяці тому +25

      And also a song by RUSH " THE TREES" 👍

    • @chonqmonk
      @chonqmonk 2 місяці тому +32

      That's awesome! In the analogy here, Trump is more like a slash-n-burn of the entire forest than an axe.

    • @KK-111
      @KK-111 2 місяці тому +1

      A metaphor which perfectly describes the current corporate captured duopoly- each 'side' claiming to be the only one for the people; with the other side as the enemy that will destroy everything. In reality- both parties are beholden to corporate interests, and Big Corp unchecked power, on a literal level, will destroy our planet. Each side and MSM will ' say, "Don't vote for any candidate other than D, or R, or it will be a 'wasted' vote, and all hell will break loose.' In reality, if we keep voting 'lesser of two evils', we'll continue to reap evil. Please vote DIFFERENT this year! (Vote Independent- RFK, Jr 2024- who will work to get corporate power out of our politics, government, and just about every industry in our country..)

    • @user-jl3gj2te8y
      @user-jl3gj2te8y 2 місяці тому +9

      😮 omgoodness...
      Thk U...❤

    • @annakingry9157
      @annakingry9157 2 місяці тому +8

      Excellent!

  • @Backbenchers911
    @Backbenchers911 2 місяці тому +89

    "Stock markets are doing good because of my polling numbers". What is that even mean? Just absurd stupidity at its best.

    • @sheilaboston7051
      @sheilaboston7051 2 місяці тому +7

      He thinks that because his poll numbers are 'high', the stock market is surging because business is happy he's going to win 🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • @nanszoo3092
      @nanszoo3092 2 місяці тому +16

      what does anything he says mean ... (sigh)
      Looking forward to the day he is irrelevant, but I don't know if I have that many years left.

    • @Techydad
      @Techydad 2 місяці тому +15

      Trump thinks stocks are up because he might be elected in November and take office in January and therefore businesses are rejoicing.
      Even if businesses wanted him back in (which I'm not convinced of), when have businesses ever had their stocks react based on an event that might happen 10 months from now?
      They can barely see past this quarter most times. There's no way they're rising because "Trump might be President in 10 months."

    • @candacen7779
      @candacen7779 2 місяці тому +12

      @@Techydad Exactly. It's just more proof that he knows nothing about business, and he's a complete fraud.

    • @fairyprincess911
      @fairyprincess911 2 місяці тому +7

      @@TechydadCertainly not a fraudulent businessman owing almost a half billion dollars in fines for being a criminal predator and a crook in general. No, Wall Street doesn’t celebrate and grow because of this blob.

  • @GaudyMarko
    @GaudyMarko 2 місяці тому +330

    I know Hailey never stood a chance but I think I actually respect her for sticking it to Trump as long as she could.

    • @hottubking1229
      @hottubking1229 2 місяці тому

      Her out and Lindsey Graham resigning, was the death of the RINOs. The MAGA takeover is complete. The deportations can’t come soon enough.

    • @Zarina1634
      @Zarina1634 2 місяці тому +23

      I agree.
      I just hope that she doesn't endorse Trump.

    • @flyrobin2544
      @flyrobin2544 2 місяці тому

      I just hope she sticks to he core values and doesn't endorse an insurrectionist rapist. I believe it would kill her political career.

    • @Tina-qp7py
      @Tina-qp7py 2 місяці тому +23

      I don't trust her. She said she would pardon him but maybe it was to get his supporters vote if he should be jailed.

    • @TheRealGigatess
      @TheRealGigatess 2 місяці тому +34

      @GaudyMarko I understand where you're coming from. However, the only thing that *might* make me respect her is if she shocked EVERYONE & endorsed Biden.

  • @anthonypuccini1914
    @anthonypuccini1914 2 місяці тому +442

    No matter what the polls say, only one thing matters: go out and vote.
    We already know what a Trump presidency looks like. The Republicans were pissed when he lost reelection, and will double down on supporting his ignorance and bigotry if they have to.
    Don't let them get to you, don't let them discourage you. The only thing you have to worry about is staying true to protecting our Democracy from a tyrant. And vote.

    • @yosemitegirlCA
      @yosemitegirlCA 2 місяці тому +40

      Yes, we not only know what TFG’s presidency looked like but he has told us very clearly what he plans to do if he wins… it’s called Projection 2025 and he is not joking.

    • @marcpeterson1092
      @marcpeterson1092 2 місяці тому +35

      Make sure that you specify for Biden. Anything else is functionally a vote for Trump.

    • @flyrobin2544
      @flyrobin2544 2 місяці тому +12

      💯!

    • @zainnee
      @zainnee 2 місяці тому

      I suspect that these pollsters poll only very white people in very white segregated areas of the country. This is to discourage the non-white folks of this country that it’s fruitless for them to vote since the polls have told them who will win. If people went back to look at what the polls say who will and who actually won. You can see a clearly picture. They are often two different people.

    • @Tantalus010
      @Tantalus010 2 місяці тому +36

      @@yosemitegirlCAHe never was joking. That's the thing that always galled me when Republicans claimed he was "obviously" joking after he said one of the many abhorrent things he's said. No he wasn't - he was testing for reactions. That's what he does. He runs something up the proverbial flagpole, and if it gets backlash, falsely claims he was joking.

  • @A_A_K_123
    @A_A_K_123 2 місяці тому +65

    Vote Blue!!! Vote Blue!!! Vote Blue!!! Vote Blue!!! Vote Blue!!! Vote Blue!!! Vote Blue!!! Vote Blue!!! Vote Blue!!! Vote Blue!!!

    • @ventolin63
      @ventolin63 2 місяці тому +1

      I would vote RED just to please you!

  • @turbogeek.421
    @turbogeek.421 2 місяці тому +424

    "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me."
    Be careful America.

    • @lacountess
      @lacountess 2 місяці тому +24

      “Fool me… fool me twice… you’re not gonna get fooled again.” 😂

    • @nanszoo3092
      @nanszoo3092 2 місяці тому +18

      fool me three times, end of democracy ...

    • @cmdraftbrn
      @cmdraftbrn 2 місяці тому +5

      @@lacountess unless you're bush "mission accomplished" jr.

    • @krysti2
      @krysti2 2 місяці тому +10

      The fools don't watch Colbert and, sadly, Don't read anything other than The Chump bumper stickers.😊

    • @juanmoore1500
      @juanmoore1500 2 місяці тому

      Ameri-WTF luvs Greed, Weird Shit & Incompetence willing 2 look the other way 2 keep a pay check @...🙄
      Wait...🤔 It's The Ameri-WTF way of doing things!..🙄😉😅😂🤣💨💨✌🏽

  • @gljm
    @gljm 2 місяці тому +160

    Here I always thought that Moscow Mitch was a turtle when all along he was a jellyfish.

    • @letitiajeavons6333
      @letitiajeavons6333 2 місяці тому +5

      Yes. Turtles have spines. Their shell is their spine and other bones.

    • @jcoopes5604
      @jcoopes5604 2 місяці тому +3

      Don’t be a Mitch!

    • @TheLastChickenWing
      @TheLastChickenWing 2 місяці тому +3

      that's deep, lol. sea turtles eat jellyfish. There's a rich trove of literal and figurative associations to be made with your comment.

    • @IguanaOfLove
      @IguanaOfLove 2 місяці тому

      The murkiest creature in the swamp. Walks like he just got a turtle wax job on his wrinkled little hiney.

    • @plonk420
      @plonk420 2 місяці тому +1

      you mean blobfish? 😂

  • @broslyons8045
    @broslyons8045 2 місяці тому +99

    I would like to build a memorial -
    to the loss of Mitch's spine and balls- and integrity-
    Mitch- you silly little mitch-

    • @altrag
      @altrag 2 місяці тому +14

      How can you memorialize something that never existed?

  • @TXnine7nine
    @TXnine7nine 2 місяці тому +34

    Mitch McConnell and Ted Cruz both endorse Trump after he insulted them and their wives personally. Let that sink in. 😂

    • @ernesthill4017
      @ernesthill4017 2 місяці тому

      Because they crave the power they think a Trump victory will bring them. It's clear to even the casual observer that they all despise each other intensely, but care more power, privilege, and the opportunity to continue to line their pockets than their dignity as men or their offices they are entrusted with 😠

    • @ShawnsterVideos
      @ShawnsterVideos 2 місяці тому

      Republicans vote for Trump specifically because he shits on women; especially wives of fellow Republican politicians.

    • @Lowkeylie
      @Lowkeylie 2 місяці тому

      They also endorse him after his rabid mob threatened to get them killed.
      It became clear a long time ago they have no moral code, even a crooked one. They’re just petty, empty men doing whatever they can to cling to the vestiges of power.

  • @kolt4d559
    @kolt4d559 2 місяці тому +51

    As someone named Jason, that half Jason, half lemonade joke made my morning.

    • @Techydad
      @Techydad 2 місяці тому +7

      Another Jason here and I wanted to agree and add: now I want a glass of lemonade.

  • @Slo-ryde
    @Slo-ryde 2 місяці тому +104

    “Tortoise endorses hair”….friggen genius writers😅

    • @Commenting-answering
      @Commenting-answering 2 місяці тому +4

      That’s the best. Ever.

    • @missyyy-
      @missyyy- 2 місяці тому +3

      Hare*

    • @Commenting-answering
      @Commenting-answering 2 місяці тому +8

      @@missyyy- No. it is a pun. The hair on Trump’s head which is a homophone for hare (rabbit). That is why the joke is golden.

    • @missyyy-
      @missyyy- 2 місяці тому +1

      @@Commenting-answering maybe there was a visual I missed.. I was listening without the screen 😝

    • @Commenting-answering
      @Commenting-answering 2 місяці тому +5

      @@missyyy- Yes! Exactly. It was of Orange Jesus’ combover.

  • @shermanculbertson6244
    @shermanculbertson6244 2 місяці тому +549

    The last years would’ve been insufferable without Stephen. Thank you Stephen and everyone at The Late Show.

    • @LollieVox
      @LollieVox 2 місяці тому +14

      💯

    • @Okapi.LuckyFeather
      @Okapi.LuckyFeather 2 місяці тому +18

      So right! I sometimes am sick with grief when I hear Tump is ahead. Steven soothes my soul, gives me hope he won’t be re-elected.

    • @JZsBFF
      @JZsBFF 2 місяці тому +3

      If we must have a tyrant, let it be Colbert slapping us daily with comedic edicts!

    • @flyoverstateresident2890
      @flyoverstateresident2890 2 місяці тому +1

      A shadow of Johnny, David, and Jay.

    • @KnockOut242
      @KnockOut242 2 місяці тому

      Amen to that!

  • @rikkiechambers4959
    @rikkiechambers4959 2 місяці тому +48

    Oh the writers were on it tonight with that tortoise and hare joke 😂😂😂

  • @jcoopes5604
    @jcoopes5604 2 місяці тому +177

    Don’t be complacent! He must never be in office ever again! Remember in November and VOTE 🗳️!

    • @brianclark9110
      @brianclark9110 2 місяці тому +3

      you're talking about Brandon right?

    • @sophiabright8371
      @sophiabright8371 2 місяці тому

      ​@@brianclark9110 He'll 🧌. So glad you are dropping your stupid two years ago 'slam' here on a channel you are simply unwelcome at.
      Dark Brandon has you & your ilk BEAT, but you are just going to keep sharing your infantile wit and boosting the algorithm, so thanks?!?

    • @stephenseibold6116
      @stephenseibold6116 2 місяці тому

      @@brianclark9110
      Best economy and inflation rate in the world not to mention job numbers. DT brought russians into the Oval Office to celebrate his win. Still confused? DT put us 8 trillion in debt giving tax cuts to rich and over 1,000,000 dead Americans due to his covid policies. THEN THERE IS THE TRAITOR THING. You know, trying to overthrow a legal election. #DonaldVonShitsinPants

    • @jorgegonzalez-larramendi5491
      @jorgegonzalez-larramendi5491 2 місяці тому +5

      ​@@brianclark9110you are what you eat.

    • @Palidine4M0O
      @Palidine4M0O 2 місяці тому +8

      Remember remember, the 5th of november... orange wants there to be a king again, lets open his eyes to his idiocy

  • @israelcm7246
    @israelcm7246 2 місяці тому +121

    Trumpie has so much pride, I have never seen a person who talks so much about himself like him. Pride comes before a fall. His final downfall will be massive.

    • @birdsinparadise3113
      @birdsinparadise3113 2 місяці тому +11

      Spanish for prideful is Orgullosa and boy is that a word appropriate for trump 😮

    • @Tonyhouse1168
      @Tonyhouse1168 2 місяці тому +6

      🤞🏾

    • @erickuiso3703
      @erickuiso3703 2 місяці тому +8

      He has been falling to hell ever since trump university and ue hasn't reached the destination until now

    • @joanfregapane8683
      @joanfregapane8683 2 місяці тому +6

      From your mouth to God’s ears.

    • @saraha6895
      @saraha6895 2 місяці тому +13

      We’re still waiting for the fall, it can’t come soon enough.

  • @Opus313
    @Opus313 2 місяці тому +243

    The only running gag better than Cerveza Cristal...
    is potato

    • @JohnSmith-bu5zs
      @JohnSmith-bu5zs 2 місяці тому +19

      You beat me to the refreshing delicious Cerveza Cristal

    • @IAmJustR
      @IAmJustR 2 місяці тому +14

      i sang that jingle all damn day today 😂😂

    • @user-weebooo
      @user-weebooo 2 місяці тому +14

      IS BIG POTATO!

    • @trevorz459
      @trevorz459 2 місяці тому +7

      🥔.

    • @tracykellison8682
      @tracykellison8682 2 місяці тому +4

      I've got the shirt! 😂

  • @davidberglund8879
    @davidberglund8879 2 місяці тому +23

    Give credit to Dean Phillips. He is certainly a very humble man.
    So many politicians have inflated egos. It's somewhat refreshing to hear a politician who doesn't engage in hyperbole.

  • @WednesdaysDragon
    @WednesdaysDragon 2 місяці тому +20

    My parents always taught me to "just ask," so here it goes, I'm just a teeny, tiny, little blue dot in a big ole' red state. Could you please help to blue wave the crap out of my state in 2024? 🌊🌊🌊 We're parked just below lake Erie, btw. Please send help and thank you... 💙💙💙 Thank you too, Stephen! All the best to you and yours!!! 💛💛💛

    • @pattyayers
      @pattyayers 2 місяці тому +3

      I wonder how many people will go,look at a map to figure out what you’re talking about 😁

    • @sadiestoltzfus9798
      @sadiestoltzfus9798 2 місяці тому +1

      @@pattyayers Pennsylvania is a swing state that typically votes democratic.

    • @WednesdaysDragon
      @WednesdaysDragon 2 місяці тому

      @@pattyayers I'm not sure! Point taken! 🌊

  • @silverstem2964
    @silverstem2964 2 місяці тому +160

    I'm from Minnesota and I say at least Dean Phillips was gracious and even comically self-deprecating about his loss. Good for him!
    🔵24!!

    • @ConstantChaos1
      @ConstantChaos1 2 місяці тому +8

      Yeah and the fact that he made that joke really undercuts the poll

    • @SugarandSarcasm
      @SugarandSarcasm 2 місяці тому +6

      @@ConstantChaos1He deserves at least 10% for that line

    • @larryrowe5259
      @larryrowe5259 2 місяці тому +4

      Also, he could win a bar bet by saying he beat president Biden in a primary.

    • @veramae4098
      @veramae4098 2 місяці тому +1

      There are actual methods to ensure a poll is accurate and well-designed, but it takes times and testing.

    • @dgrant7291
      @dgrant7291 2 місяці тому

      I worked for a polling company and they generally just repeat what their client asks them to ask...and call where they ask them to call...anyone can say they ran some poll and come up with more preferred results. Most folks, especially before elections like to lie to throw these polls off...or so I read in a poll.@@veramae4098

  • @israelcm7246
    @israelcm7246 2 місяці тому +81

    Tortoise will forever be an orange 🍊 kisser . Spineless " Beach "

    • @JZsBFF
      @JZsBFF 2 місяці тому +1

      *brown kisser

    • @IguanaOfLove
      @IguanaOfLove 2 місяці тому +2

      Mitch is high on the mushroom?

  • @billg.7909
    @billg.7909 2 місяці тому +187

    McConnell you have just cemented your place as the second lowest bottom feeder in U.S. history, right next to the big T. Congratulations.

    • @tommyt1971
      @tommyt1971 2 місяці тому

      #MoscowMitch #DictatorWannabeTrump

    • @TheCrisses
      @TheCrisses 2 місяці тому +5

      I think MTG has that honor. McConnel doesn't stand a chance of getting 2nd place.

    • @lesliea7394
      @lesliea7394 2 місяці тому +4

      He is no different than T

    • @user-qe4fu7yx2e
      @user-qe4fu7yx2e 2 місяці тому +3

      Don’t forget Graham coming in a respectable 3rd .

  • @hhunstad2011
    @hhunstad2011 2 місяці тому +27

    The final comeback from Phillips was in good humor, ya gotta admit.

  • @Opus313
    @Opus313 2 місяці тому +679

    The far majority of people wouldn't let Donnie take care of their child or even their pet... yet too many still say, "Yep, that's the guy I want as POTUS." Yikes!

    • @Tony-723
      @Tony-723 2 місяці тому

      Isn’t Biden know for sniffing kids? 😂

    • @arhafrench5319
      @arhafrench5319 2 місяці тому +31

      You're right, that's the crazy thing. Quite a few of the people I speak to about him as their choice clearly stated that they don't like him at all, they voted for their policies to be represented in him and don't believe Haley is a good choice because she had affairs on her husband in the military. 😮 My brain is broken.

    • @Tony-723
      @Tony-723 2 місяці тому

      Isn’t Biden known for sniffing kids?

    • @gamepapa1211
      @gamepapa1211 2 місяці тому

      Klepper had a session with a Haley supporter that clearly illustrated this. The woman said she is never voting for Trump again. But the moment she was given a scenario where Haley lost, she agonized for a few seconds before immediately casting her vote for Trump. And yet MAGAhats loved to accuse everybody else of tribalism. The irony is deafening.

    • @DSAK55
      @DSAK55 2 місяці тому +13

      or take care of plants

  • @Julian_Wang-pai
    @Julian_Wang-pai 2 місяці тому +30

    "Tortoise endorses Hair..!" 😂🤣😂🤣😂 That will deservedly travel far.

  • @gogreen7794
    @gogreen7794 2 місяці тому +241

    I haven't trusted the GOP since I was 13 when Nixon/Agnew were the Republican nominees in 1968. As a result, I haven't voted for a Republican since I could first vote in 1974. That is one of my proudest accomplishments!

    • @laslobas1234
      @laslobas1234 2 місяці тому +8

      Me too. But it’s time for more than two parties. I’m not laughing at ridiculing people outside of the two party system who ran for president.

    • @dgrant7291
      @dgrant7291 2 місяці тому

      Exactly...Im 71 and Watergate and how they all behaved destroyed ANY trust...then Regan and Iran/Contra just reprove the lack of any decent moral character. Then Bush lying to go to war in Iraq ..the lack of decent morals and values - this goes beyond politics. Do not vote republican...especially at the national level.

    • @nbenefiel
      @nbenefiel 2 місяці тому +28

      When I was 18, I worked in the ER of a major downtown Detroit hospital. One night a friend and I went for a walk. We heard someone moaning so we ran over. It was a very young girl hemorrhaging from a back street abortion. This was pre Roe v Wade. My friend ran for a doctor. I held the girl as she bled to death. I vowed that I would never vote, when I could vote, for anyone who opposed legal abortion. I never have.

    • @tammylathrop6223
      @tammylathrop6223 2 місяці тому +7

      ​@@nbenefielhow tragic.

    • @candacen7779
      @candacen7779 2 місяці тому +9

      I wasn't born until 3 years after you could vote for the first time, but I share your distrust of the GOP and have never voted for a Republican in my lifetime.

  • @echospaw899
    @echospaw899 2 місяці тому +30

    Sheezuz!! Colbert is so mean and just relentless with the trump attacks. THANK YOU! 🧡

    • @annakingry9157
      @annakingry9157 2 місяці тому +1

      No, he zings Biden too.

    • @user-kn5jf5sg2e
      @user-kn5jf5sg2e 2 місяці тому +1

      Oh my God how sad for you and for Donald Trump

    • @echospaw899
      @echospaw899 2 місяці тому

      @@user-kn5jf5sg2e I'm being sarcastic! 🤪

    • @echospaw899
      @echospaw899 2 місяці тому

      @@annakingry9157 sarcasm people.

  • @tonyfan3
    @tonyfan3 2 місяці тому +88

    Biden continues to win 🎉

    • @Tony-723
      @Tony-723 2 місяці тому +3

      Win for Ukraine and illegals

    • @user-vo2cw5yu9w
      @user-vo2cw5yu9w 2 місяці тому +14

      @@Tony-723 win for liberals
      Listening to you babies cry is like fine wine.

    • @johnwattdotca
      @johnwattdotca 2 місяці тому

      @@user-vo2cw5yu9w I can understand your comment if you're a child.

    • @crusheverything4449
      @crusheverything4449 2 місяці тому +9

      @@Tony-723- I’d tell you to educate yourself, but that’s obviously never going to happen.

    • @ag4allgood
      @ag4allgood 2 місяці тому

      @@user-vo2cw5yu9w Speaking of Babies that is what Trump sounded like at his rally recently " re be doo aaahhhhhh " . I think that means his diaper is full 💩💩 Regressing into a toddler 🚼

  • @leannevandekew1996
    @leannevandekew1996 2 місяці тому +176

    During 1986-7 the state of NSW in Australia asked for bids to build the first casino in Sydney. Four groups submitted bids for the lucrative project. Cabinet papers declassified 30 years later revealed that the Trump bid was rejected after NSW State Police reported that the Trump mafia connections and financial unviability made their bid undesirable.
    It also said his ties to organised crime was obvious.

    • @saar144
      @saar144 2 місяці тому +5

      Will you stop posting the same comment in every video, we got it the first millionth time. 7 years, same comments.

    • @leannevandekew1996
      @leannevandekew1996 2 місяці тому +12

      @@saar144 As a girl I was a babysitter, including infants. I've changed hundreds of diapers. As a model at T Management (Trump Models), I met Trump many times: he frequently had the smell of poopy pants.

    • @solvseus
      @solvseus 2 місяці тому

      @@saar144 Have you heard about the latest Amazon Crytpo-scam 9000? It's like, totallys for realzies you guys.

    • @tinat.4508
      @tinat.4508 2 місяці тому +6

      If it is the truth.. keep telling it.. don't worry about the naysayers!

    • @leannevandekew1996
      @leannevandekew1996 2 місяці тому

      @@tinat.4508 The Guardian, ABC, South China Daily, MSN, The Sun. a dozen more news outlets.

  • @bobbiedodds2289
    @bobbiedodds2289 2 місяці тому +24

    3:04 "Image not cared about" didn't get the response it deserved 😂😂😂

    • @candacen7779
      @candacen7779 2 місяці тому +1

      I didn't even catch that. I thought it said "Image not found." Good eyes. 👍

    • @itspersonal3351
      @itspersonal3351 2 місяці тому +2

      @@candacen7779I missed that too had to take a second look. Damnit I must be getting old if I can’t keep up with Stephen’s pace. 😂

  • @Tsudkyk
    @Tsudkyk 2 місяці тому +23

    “So many girls… oh I can’t tell you who they are, they go to a different school.”

  • @IHScoutII
    @IHScoutII 2 місяці тому +214

    " they tap my wires"
    " Maybe inject bleach"
    " Massive dumps"
    "Obamagate"
    " FBI informant"
    "Hunter's laptop"
    "D.o.m.i.n.i.o.n."😊
    **Looks up into an eclipse**

    • @Tony-723
      @Tony-723 2 місяці тому +1

      Are you still denying the hunter laptop? Leave your rock

    • @Tonyhouse1168
      @Tonyhouse1168 2 місяці тому +29

      “Grab em by the 🐱”

    • @Tonyhouse1168
      @Tonyhouse1168 2 місяці тому

      @@Tony-723are you still denying that hunter isn’t running for election? You = 🤡

    • @MyMarsham
      @MyMarsham 2 місяці тому +30

      “Person, man, woman, camera, tv.”

    • @MyMarsham
      @MyMarsham 2 місяці тому

      @@Tony-723Is that the laptop Congress has had for over four years?
      And all they’ve been able to get off it is PRIVATE and PERSONAL nude pics?

  • @PaperbackWizard
    @PaperbackWizard 2 місяці тому +37

    Polls in general are messed up, these days. How many people even answer the phone anymore if they don't recognize the number? I barely answer it when I **do** recognize the number.

    • @bcwbcw3741
      @bcwbcw3741 2 місяці тому +2

      The NY Times poll also had 36% of its responses from rural voters when only 16% of the voting population is from rural areas. The NY Times must have known it was publishing a totally screwed up poll but did so anyway.

    • @seandobbins2231
      @seandobbins2231 2 місяці тому

      Polls are for ratings, nothing more, and it's always been that way.

  • @McCrapweasel
    @McCrapweasel 2 місяці тому +50

    Props to Dean Phillips: He's not delusional.

    • @nehpets216
      @nehpets216 2 місяці тому +4

      Faces facts, reasonable, and willing to call out false reporting. Odd how good his reaction to failing makes him look.

    • @McCrapweasel
      @McCrapweasel 2 місяці тому

      @@nehpets216 Hard agree to all of that.

    • @thorfinsky1427
      @thorfinsky1427 2 місяці тому

      @@nehpets216 I'm not so sure.....isn't he supposed to claim the election was rigged??

    • @derrickstorm6976
      @derrickstorm6976 2 місяці тому

      He ran for the presidency in the first place, he sure is delusional

  • @lundworks9901
    @lundworks9901 2 місяці тому +8

    When we lived in the small town of Biscay Minnesota, the Mayor was voted in 6 to 1; he was a cross-road trucker who was written in by the six as a joke, but he was a great Mayor for several terms, excellent classic Coca-Cola Santa Claus, whose wife made popcorn balls at Halloween you could trust to eat.
    My kids told everyone Mrs. Claus made them popcorn balls for Trick or Treat. Fantastical but true.

    • @lundworks9901
      @lundworks9901 2 місяці тому

      The number of votes may have only been 3 in absentia to be Mayor.

    • @MDone402
      @MDone402 2 місяці тому

      Cool ❤

  • @ddmarsh21
    @ddmarsh21 2 місяці тому +56

    I can usually laugh with this show but the fact that the Republican Party can’t find anyone other than Trump is just too depressing…

    • @jpieroni
      @jpieroni 2 місяці тому +1

      Aren't you leaving out another party with the same problem?

    • @michaelgreenwood3413
      @michaelgreenwood3413 2 місяці тому

      @@jpieroni No. Because Biden is actually competent.

    • @michaelgreenwood3413
      @michaelgreenwood3413 2 місяці тому

      @@UA-camCensorsEverything Well, let's see, nearly wiped out unemployment in the US, brought NATO back from the brink of fracturing due to a certain orange shithead, lowered the cost of Insulin, and about 200 other positive things.
      Remind me, just what have the last three Republican presidents done that's positive and good for the country?
      Because it's less than the stuff I actually named. Let alone the other shit.

  • @SpaceForceCommander
    @SpaceForceCommander 2 місяці тому +76

    America will never forget “Nancy Pelosi, Nancy Pelosi, Nancy Pelosi” for running against Trump in the Republican primaries.

    • @Lonewolfmike
      @Lonewolfmike 2 місяці тому +6

      🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • @IguanaOfLove
      @IguanaOfLove 2 місяці тому +4

      Nancy pelosi will be in the history books. That she was a great political strategist. Someone who did her best. To preserve our constitution. Someone who stands and lives by her oath. All women around the world should be proud of her. Men, too.

  • @MayberryAIArt
    @MayberryAIArt 2 місяці тому +8

    We have to save democracy ❤

  • @rileymcphee9429
    @rileymcphee9429 2 місяці тому +22

    Big round of applause for the unforgettable campaigns of Nancy Harvey and Dane Billups.
    You will surely be missed.

  • @aggressiveattitudeera887
    @aggressiveattitudeera887 2 місяці тому +25

    "Tortoise endorses hair."
    😂😂😂

  • @carolynbarcus3662
    @carolynbarcus3662 2 місяці тому +14

    You are hilarious Stephen.

  • @MicheleEngel
    @MicheleEngel 2 місяці тому +7

    Outstanding comedy tonight! Great writers, thank you!❤

  • @nancychandler3673
    @nancychandler3673 2 місяці тому +17

    Congratulations Democrats for your primary wins on Super Tuesday 🇺🇸.

  • @maverick792
    @maverick792 2 місяці тому +7

    9:54 Mental competence of the candidates = Mental competence of the voters

    • @nanszoo3092
      @nanszoo3092 2 місяці тому +1

      yep, that is the most disturbing part of the past 9 years

  • @deborahwolf9871
    @deborahwolf9871 2 місяці тому +31

    McConnell knows better...I am ashamed of him

    • @SJC49
      @SJC49 2 місяці тому

      He’s too ashamed of himself to care if any of us think he is a cowardly, snivelling doormat!

    • @fairyprincess911
      @fairyprincess911 2 місяці тому +3

      I’ve been ashamed of him for thirty years and I am not from Kentucky😾

  • @user-dh4wy8zl8g
    @user-dh4wy8zl8g 2 місяці тому +8

    This is the real Groundhog Day!

  • @timl.b.2095
    @timl.b.2095 2 місяці тому +4

    Did you hear that pause of Trump's before he said "Joe Biden?" He had to make sure he didn't say Obama again.

  • @SpaceForceCommander
    @SpaceForceCommander 2 місяці тому +54

    If Jason Palmer was a contestant on The Bachelorette, he would be described as an “entrepreneur”.

    • @kimclarke5018
      @kimclarke5018 2 місяці тому +2

      Good one 😊

    • @youuuknooow7699
      @youuuknooow7699 2 місяці тому

      I don't get it or the lemonade joke. 🥴

    • @missyyy-
      @missyyy- 2 місяці тому +2

      @@youuuknooow7699an Arnold Palmer is a drink mixing half lemonade and half iced tea.

    • @youuuknooow7699
      @youuuknooow7699 2 місяці тому +1

      @@missyyy- thanks, that sounds yummy!

    • @youuuknooow7699
      @youuuknooow7699 2 місяці тому

      Entrepreneur why?

  • @ZYX261
    @ZYX261 2 місяці тому +7

    So, less than 1/2 of the USA population decides who the presidential nominees will be? I have never understood this drawn-out primary season.

    • @jessicaolson490
      @jessicaolson490 2 місяці тому +2

      Yeah I don't understand why the votes aren't all on the same day. By the time my state gets to vote there's almost always only one candidate left.

    • @ZYX261
      @ZYX261 2 місяці тому +4

      @@jessicaolson490 But scotus blocked Colorado from barring a traitor from the ballot because it wouldn't be fair....

  • @erickborling1302
    @erickborling1302 2 місяці тому +17

    Yes the NYTimes polls are absurd. Nevertheless: VOTE!!! Do not fail to vote straight blue.

  • @user-of1ux2hy3v
    @user-of1ux2hy3v 2 місяці тому +45

    I would vote "slow joe" over any GOP candidate,now and beyond!

  • @dannmarceau9743
    @dannmarceau9743 2 місяці тому +16

    "Tortoise Endorses Hair"😂

  • @messmeister92
    @messmeister92 2 місяці тому +114

    The fact that most of America is so stupid that we associate all of the lingering issues from Trump’s policies with President Biden’s administration is crazy. As a country, we have no idea how anything works but we assign all blame or credit to the president anyway.

    • @kevinmarleyRevolution777
      @kevinmarleyRevolution777 2 місяці тому

      The news should start: "The American public is STILL FUCKING STUPID! With more on this important issue, we go to Mark who is a downtown election center .... Mark?!"

    • @amyjackson8725
      @amyjackson8725 2 місяці тому

      Just because that is what corporate media is selling, does not mean "most of america" is buying it!

    • @frankgrabasse4642
      @frankgrabasse4642 2 місяці тому

      The problem is a lack of critical thinking skills combined with liars like fox news twisting and manipulating the rubes.
      Oh, and the democrats are absolutely horrible at messaging

  • @almightymachine9930
    @almightymachine9930 2 місяці тому +5

    STEPHEN! STEPHEN! STEPHEN! STEPHEN! STEPHEN! STEPHEN!

  • @rneumeye
    @rneumeye 2 місяці тому +4

    Yay! Old lady with glasses on the edge of her nose is my favorite Stephen Colbert character. 😅🥰

  • @Thadmotor1044
    @Thadmotor1044 2 місяці тому +52

    President Biden does not stand alone . He has assembled the greatest Team in modern history ....

  • @MasterOfDarkness42069
    @MasterOfDarkness42069 2 місяці тому +5

    Dean Phillips is a good sport man lol love the honesty

  • @kittendiotima4212
    @kittendiotima4212 2 місяці тому +2

    There could be celebrities there, Ted Nugent, Joe Rogan, Roseanne, Kan-Ye, just a galaxy of stars.

  • @charleshagen1143
    @charleshagen1143 2 місяці тому +6

    Turncoat and windsock! Perfect!!!!

  • @kathybyerly7904
    @kathybyerly7904 2 місяці тому +6

    Hey Independents out there come vote w me another Independent let's remove Trump again please vote blue.

  • @keithpovec6462
    @keithpovec6462 2 місяці тому +4

    That was one of the better opening monologues you have had in years! Love it

  • @leannevandekew1996
    @leannevandekew1996 2 місяці тому +88

    As a girl I was a babysitter, including infants. I've changed hundreds of diapers. As a model at T Management (Trump Models), I met Trump many times: he frequently had the smell of poopy pants.

    • @bovinityleak2066
      @bovinityleak2066 2 місяці тому +1

      Gag 🤢

    • @Lonewolfmike
      @Lonewolfmike 2 місяці тому +5

      There was a person on The Apprentice set who had the unenviable job of cleaning Donnie when he would shit himself on set. I just hope they got hazard pay for it.

    • @ray.shoesmith
      @ray.shoesmith 2 місяці тому +8

      That made me throw up in my mouth a little bit

    • @lifeinhd4053
      @lifeinhd4053 2 місяці тому +1

      Probably doesn't wipe. I wouldn't be surprised if he's incapable of locating his own asshole. Hard to do when it's a full-body asshole, I guess.

    • @saar144
      @saar144 2 місяці тому +3

      Will you stop posting the same comment in every video, we got it the first millionth time. 7 years, same comments.

  • @MerihHasan
    @MerihHasan 2 місяці тому +181

    Omg so spot on about the Connections!!! wtf all of you in *AWT66W* ??

    • @venera13
      @venera13 2 місяці тому

      @@raquel2116 AWT66W is a scam

    • @Coolestmovies
      @Coolestmovies 2 місяці тому +2

      @@raquel2116 Worthless spam.

  • @movimikey
    @movimikey 2 місяці тому +4

    Dudes the best!! "Also, it was Tuesday in.... SPAAAAAACE!"

  • @belltoll1918
    @belltoll1918 2 місяці тому +4

    Dean Phillips. He came up with a way to make himself RELEVANT! Lots of media coverage. Sly way to promote oneself! Credit to him.

  • @ismailCagri-if6mf
    @ismailCagri-if6mf 2 місяці тому +175

    His made me vote for Blue even more bro *AWT66W* is the best thing you said, great call

  • @SerkanPelin-il5rq
    @SerkanPelin-il5rq 2 місяці тому +170

    So if it all goes wrong remember Jason Palmer! this *AWT66W* is beautiful, thanks for the headsup

  • @ilovefountainpens
    @ilovefountainpens 2 місяці тому +1

    Stephen, your delivery’s always on point (even during the occasional flub), but man, your writers are impeccable! Every monologue, quarantine/meanwhile etc. are always so entertaining and informative. Knowing that you’re working off of that days/ultra recent news, your whole team pulls off the show so well that you make it look effortless and easy. It takes great skill, teamwork and leadership to perform at such a high level. All of you really need to be congratulated on your hard work!

  • @pb_and_nutella
    @pb_and_nutella 2 місяці тому +1

    Nothing has given me more respect for Dean Phillips than his willingness to stand up for the truth even when it meant acknowledging that he was a less popular candidate than the NYT was willing to say he was

  • @equalityforall8418
    @equalityforall8418 2 місяці тому +4

    Mitch made his entire life about himself and his money.

  • @MehmetErhan-kb6vr
    @MehmetErhan-kb6vr 2 місяці тому +165

    Colberto es BUENO! ye *AWT66W* was right! Thanks for letting us know about *AWT66W*

  • @elisaa9981
    @elisaa9981 2 місяці тому +4

    At least, Dean Philips seems like a fun person. 😊

  • @presidentcrisp
    @presidentcrisp 2 місяці тому +2

    I love the Dean Phillips self deprecation.

  • @MubeccelFatma
    @MubeccelFatma 2 місяці тому +194

    "Tortoise Endorses Hair" I prefer to take part in *AWT66W* and be a step ahead

  • @CemSeref-vn6rx
    @CemSeref-vn6rx 2 місяці тому +191

    Great show and outstanding band. But, I have question-why do they only focus on white drummer? Why ignore the rest of these fantastic musicians? the *AWT66W* move is assisting us mark my words

  • @abramporras7877
    @abramporras7877 2 місяці тому +1

    I'm amazed that Colbert knew about the Amazon fish 😂😂😂😂 and the public too

  • @jasonnacci4091
    @jasonnacci4091 2 місяці тому +2

    You NEED to bring Dean Phillips on the show regularly for a moping segment. I want more Dean Phillips.

  • @SahinHasan-ee1gk
    @SahinHasan-ee1gk 2 місяці тому +187

    Polls are worthless, but people still get paid big bucks to produce them - usually by people looking to push THEIR specific viewpoint. . Yea with *AWT66W* we have a fair and real chance to have impact! Thanks man!

  • @MariaTugsem
    @MariaTugsem 2 місяці тому +214

    I can usually laugh with this show but the fact that the Republican Party can’t find anyone other than Trump is just too depressing… dudes *AWT66W* ? that is everywhere somehow

  • @krysti2
    @krysti2 2 місяці тому +2

    Exactly... Connections challenges my mental state every day!😂

  • @TheBlackbudda08
    @TheBlackbudda08 2 місяці тому +2

    Tortoise/Hair...Straight Genius ...Props !!!

  • @Erolismail-ou3mb
    @Erolismail-ou3mb 2 місяці тому +169

    8:42 do you take part in *AWT66W* ? amazing work by them!

  • @MustafaSebahat
    @MustafaSebahat 2 місяці тому +201

    Minnesotan here, Dean Philips is so unlikeable, he can't accept the only reason he won is because the other dude wanted to frack the iron range. you feel *AWT66W* ? that is the best thank god

  • @peterfedun-sk3jt
    @peterfedun-sk3jt 2 місяці тому +1

    The Moscow Mitch routine was excellent and the stick poked you! 😂😂😂

  • @AytacMerve
    @AytacMerve 2 місяці тому +183

    Stephen has Dean Phillips's number ... "slammed his bedroom door..." I prefer to understand *AWT66W* and be part of that move

    • @MonkeyJedi99
      @MonkeyJedi99 2 місяці тому +1

      Dean Phillips is so self-aware and honest he has no future in politics.

    • @kingace6186
      @kingace6186 2 місяці тому +4

      bot

    • @stoppin2look
      @stoppin2look 2 місяці тому +1

      Troll add ... booo

  • @HandeCem
    @HandeCem 2 місяці тому +190

    I wish Haley would be Biden's VP just for kicks. Gonna bring me to *AWT66W* man

    • @nanszoo3092
      @nanszoo3092 2 місяці тому +4

      Nooooooooooo
      I feel like the country's been kicked around enough already.

  • @MonkeyJedi99
    @MonkeyJedi99 2 місяці тому +5

    Dammit! I was drinking something when the "Tortoise Endorses Hair" joke hit, nearly lost a keyboard and/or aspirated my tea.

  • @theresawright1347
    @theresawright1347 2 місяці тому +3

    You are real news: Stephen, not the times

  • @ilkerSerhat-be3fb
    @ilkerSerhat-be3fb 2 місяці тому +190

    Dean Phillips is at least honest and funny AF could be all much better with *AWT66W* and guys getting in

  • @YaseminEmine
    @YaseminEmine 2 місяці тому +197

    I thought Stephen was pulling a prank by showing a fake photo of Dean Phillips. could be all much easier with *AWT66W* and guys participating

  • @RoxasXIII
    @RoxasXIII 2 місяці тому +2

    Dean Phillips blasting “I’m Not Ok, I Promise” XD

  • @phntasy333
    @phntasy333 2 місяці тому +2

    Keep pointing out the corruption!! We can not both sides this thing..

  • @CagriMustafa-ji4gv
    @CagriMustafa-ji4gv 2 місяці тому +189

    So now Joe will promote Palmer to Chief of Staff. Gonna lead me to *AWT66W* man

  • @BarisPinar-wm2ns
    @BarisPinar-wm2ns 2 місяці тому +229

    McConnell has this one chance to actually do the right thing, and still he is spineless. this year got actually fixed by *AWT66W*

    • @markrix
      @markrix 2 місяці тому +6

      AWT66W?

    • @antoniograncino3506
      @antoniograncino3506 2 місяці тому

      Well, son of a Mitch !

    • @karenneill9109
      @karenneill9109 2 місяці тому +4

      @@markrixit seems to be getting added to all the comments. What the hell is going on?

    • @StarPlaty
      @StarPlaty 2 місяці тому +10

      @@karenneill9109The bots are trying to be relevant while advertising.

    • @alexvaraderey
      @alexvaraderey 2 місяці тому

      @@karenneill9109 Amazon are starting their own digital currency. That's the name of it. At least it makes it easier to spot the trolls. The Russian ones don't advertise.

  • @Kiloburn
    @Kiloburn 2 місяці тому +1

    10:16 - Thank you for speaking truth to power, Stephen! I had this SAME GRIPE!!

  • @cath2536
    @cath2536 2 місяці тому +3

    I agree absolutely about NYT Connections😂

  • @AhmetLeyla-ed6ko
    @AhmetLeyla-ed6ko 2 місяці тому +184

    NYT is jaded journalism. do you believe *AWT66W* ? great work by them!

    • @raquel2116
      @raquel2116 2 місяці тому

      𝔤𝔬𝔬𝔤𝔩𝔢 it, so much worth

    • @altrag
      @altrag 2 місяці тому +2

      @@raquel2116 I did. Got exactly two hits: A reddit post asking wtf you spammers are on about, and an extremely vague reference suggesting that its probably just the next pump-and-dump crypto scam.

    • @elenachristian9860
      @elenachristian9860 2 місяці тому

      Oh my God, Gretchen, stop trying to make ATW66W happen!

  • @RamazanUmut-pf6nd
    @RamazanUmut-pf6nd 2 місяці тому +191

    If Trunp becomes president then I'm protesting until he is removed and put in solitary confinement. the *AWT66W* move is assisting us mark my words

    • @poe_slaw
      @poe_slaw 2 місяці тому +3

      This is a bot

    • @xh3598
      @xh3598 2 місяці тому

      Check the US census. Hispanics will become the biggest minority in the US around 2050. Around 2100 Hispanics will be tied with the Whites. Remember that 1/3 of the US was Mexico at one point. The US Congress and the White House will be dominated by Hispanics. Hispanics are mostly against abortion. The minority will dominate the Whites after 2050, you can take that to the Bank. VIVA MEXICO

    • @kathybyerly7904
      @kathybyerly7904 2 місяці тому

      I'll help. Tired of this clown

  • @arich20
    @arich20 2 місяці тому +1

    okay you got me with the arnold palmer joke