Jokes! with Nick Swardson (BLUE CARD COLLECTION)

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  • Опубліковано 22 бер 2022
  • Norm Macdonald, Adam Eget and Nick Swardson do some blue card jokes.
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  • Комедії

КОМЕНТАРІ • 191

  • @ididntevenknowhewassick6315
    @ididntevenknowhewassick6315  2 роки тому +88

    0:00 Norm’s a big fat guy
    0:33 I’m on acid cut my dick off
    0:48 Great Gatsby in 3D
    1:09 I think my doctor might be retarded…
    1:20 Jiro Dreams of Sushi
    1:42 Man dribbles soccer ball, dies
    2:05 PAIN and GAIN
    2:23 More of a factoid
    2:40 Dogs run to get high
    3:15 Another man cutting his cock off
    3:27 Barbara Walters is in the news
    3:48 Papa John’s coke dealer
    4:13 Sesame Street welcomes Armando
    4:30 TIME magazine’s most influential people
    4:54 More of a comment really
    5:04 Hate speech is wrong
    5:27 Last joke

  • @BigDandyGames
    @BigDandyGames Рік тому +60

    “Now I’m against hate speech, but read that.”

  • @ADF366
    @ADF366 2 роки тому +289

    I love how Norm gives the shittiest jokes to Adam and his delivery just makes it even worse 🤣

    • @acehilm.
      @acehilm. 2 роки тому +10

      That's funny but also true.

    • @SamuelCAsh-ns3wm
      @SamuelCAsh-ns3wm Рік тому +8

      It is true but I don’t think Adam gets enough credit for being a great straight man and whipping boy.

    • @bdroie
      @bdroie 3 місяці тому +3

      Adam egret played his role perfectly, show wouldn’t have been the same without him

    • @maxarvo9918
      @maxarvo9918 2 місяці тому

      @@SamuelCAsh-ns3wm he's particularly good at the 'being whipped' bit. but that's just because of prior experience

  • @skepticalobserver7484
    @skepticalobserver7484 2 роки тому +110

    Nick Swardsen and Norm go together so well. His mind can jump to absurd and hilarious tangents in a way very similar to Norm, and he’s one of the VERY few people I can think of who, when paired with Norm, makes me laugh as much as Norm does. Brilliant.

    • @ididntevenknowhewassick6315
      @ididntevenknowhewassick6315  2 роки тому +17

      Great observation. It’s a bummer so many of norm’s guests had a much more sterile headspace, much less yes anding

    • @nickkk420
      @nickkk420 Рік тому +13

      It's also one of the few times I've seen nick genuinely happy in a pod cast

  • @tonygibson5171
    @tonygibson5171 2 роки тому +61

    “ I’m against hate speech, but read that.” - Lol, love the Tom Myers bong hit transplant in there. BHT is such a classic bit.

  • @thaatrain10
    @thaatrain10 2 роки тому +114

    Easily the best jokes segment in the series

  • @madextreme2682
    @madextreme2682 Рік тому +50

    "Reviewers are calling it everything from shit to fucking shit"
    That was so simple yet so funny

  • @aaronwilliams8046
    @aaronwilliams8046 2 роки тому +27

    The "unwatchable" quip always makes me laugh.

  • @fjames3rd
    @fjames3rd 2 роки тому +54

    One of my absolute favorite blue card reads from the show.

  • @redumbrella6832
    @redumbrella6832 2 роки тому +90

    Bong hit transplant is the greatest joke of the 21st century

    • @geraldpulido5540
      @geraldpulido5540 2 роки тому +5

      Its being challenged by shaubs mexican cookie joke

    • @beatsbydare
      @beatsbydare 2 роки тому +1

      I don’t think I get it

    • @redumbrella6832
      @redumbrella6832 2 роки тому +13

      @@beatsbydare You're not innate enough

    • @beatsbydare
      @beatsbydare 2 роки тому

      @@redumbrella6832 I want to get it

    • @billcrotts5456
      @billcrotts5456 2 роки тому +2

      @@beatsbydare it's Tom Myers bit

  • @uGotGot1618
    @uGotGot1618 2 роки тому +10

    The near infinite loop of normisms he almost gets caught in at :53 is unreal haha "Eh, ee, uh, ee, eh, ee, uh"

  • @stevowilliams8279
    @stevowilliams8279 2 роки тому +61

    Ah, bong hit transplant, a fellow man of culture I see...

    • @mrdankjank
      @mrdankjank 2 роки тому +17

      We’re all gay here bud

    • @johnladelfa5764
      @johnladelfa5764 2 роки тому +13

      He was in a fugue

    • @billcrotts5456
      @billcrotts5456 2 роки тому +7

      I've tried pot

    • @theomen7665
      @theomen7665 2 роки тому +2

      Respect

    • @cont600ml
      @cont600ml 2 роки тому +5

      @@billcrotts5456 as someone that have tried pot i could aplaud but i dont feel like lifting my arms dude

  • @prestonheit1582
    @prestonheit1582 2 роки тому +17

    Lmao nice Tom Myers callout

  • @mikeh6286
    @mikeh6286 Рік тому +5

    "Unwatchable!" Thanks Adam! Perfect delivery.

  • @RyanCoomer
    @RyanCoomer 2 роки тому +133

    at a buffet, i personally sneak corndogs into the buffet so others can enjoy them. I hide 6 corndogs in my jacket pockets. it then, is a joy for me to see other patrons of the establishment eat my corndogs thinking they were part of buffe

    • @mkultra2456
      @mkultra2456 2 роки тому +4

      You got any crack?

    • @bottomlinebassin2001
      @bottomlinebassin2001 2 роки тому +2

      Brilliant!

    • @ripdajacker23
      @ripdajacker23 2 роки тому +12

      They’re an instant hit. Next time bring more than 6 you jerk!!

    • @RyanCoomer
      @RyanCoomer 2 роки тому +2

      @@ripdajacker23 sorry and WILL DO!!!!!

    • @mkultra2456
      @mkultra2456 2 роки тому

      @@RyanCoomer Also bring some crack.

  • @recentlybeheaded
    @recentlybeheaded 2 роки тому +122

    Nick seems like such a cool guy.

  • @jacks1478
    @jacks1478 9 місяців тому +3

    Bong hit transplant was an amazing addition

  • @alm3872
    @alm3872 2 роки тому +12

    I love Nick, he's up there with Kevin Nealon.

  • @rafaelfernandeslopesdeoliv1700
    @rafaelfernandeslopesdeoliv1700 2 роки тому +16

    "...they're all fine people"

  • @rowanmakesmemes7301
    @rowanmakesmemes7301 2 роки тому +11

    The 4 dead thumbs up had me laughing

  • @jrrd4069
    @jrrd4069 2 роки тому +17

    Norm and Nick are amazing together...wish they would have done Nevada together.

  • @mno7pro323
    @mno7pro323 2 роки тому +38

    Man this was great
    Nick Swardson is definitely up there with the great Kevin Nealon... except for one thing

    • @Chunkieta
      @Chunkieta 5 місяців тому +1

      The hypocrisy, or something he cut off?

  • @danielm4114
    @danielm4114 2 роки тому +11

    Nice touching finding the articles referenced in the jokes. Swardson's blue card segment and the Furley banter is some top tier OGNML

  • @johnmurdoch8534
    @johnmurdoch8534 2 роки тому +8

    Nick swardson is great here

  • @danielwiberg6757
    @danielwiberg6757 11 місяців тому +2

    I love how Norm's blue cards fit what he thinks works with his guests. By these you can see who are Norm's closest friends/guests.

  • @seanolaocha940
    @seanolaocha940 Рік тому +8

    I swear Norm's terrible jokes get funnier every time you watch them

    • @user-io8sz7tf9t
      @user-io8sz7tf9t 2 місяці тому

      he never really tried to appeal much to anyone else it always seemed like whether it was an award show, snl, or the view he was just doing whatever he thought would be funniest to him like bombing on purpose. you can tell he had a ton of fun with this show, doing stupid jokes with a bunch of his friends it was kinda perfect for him

  • @Kenyanon
    @Kenyanon 2 роки тому +4

    lmfao bong hit transplant

  • @nickelastic
    @nickelastic Рік тому +5

    Was that last line Nick mentioned about ‘meta World Peace comedy’ a reference to Sam Hyde, Nick Rochefort & Charles Carroll show?

  • @andreaholcock8992
    @andreaholcock8992 Рік тому +2

    Came for Nicky, stayed for Tom Myers shoutout

  • @noahblowingless6435
    @noahblowingless6435 2 роки тому +9

    The Hispanic Sesame Street character joke punchline shoulda been “and stabbed the letters S and A”
    Missed opportunity

  • @travim4314
    @travim4314 2 роки тому +8

    This was my favorite episode.

  • @Super_Kramer
    @Super_Kramer 2 роки тому +13

    i miss norm, man. just read the book running the light and wasnt ready for that third act. love you guys.

  • @bobbyjollins8091
    @bobbyjollins8091 Рік тому +5

    run to seven eleven for a moldy old banana

  • @randymarsh4182
    @randymarsh4182 2 роки тому +7

    as a deeply closeted gay man, i truly enjoyed this.

  • @madforit2
    @madforit2 2 роки тому +6

    easily the best jokes section

  • @scoobboot
    @scoobboot Рік тому +2

    Nice work on the bong hit transplant

  • @DestroyYouAlot
    @DestroyYouAlot 9 місяців тому +2

    holy shit, the Tom Myers bong hit transplant cutaway

  • @StingWolfpack
    @StingWolfpack 2 роки тому +2

    "thats weird right" lol

  • @briangrelling8476
    @briangrelling8476 2 місяці тому

    The Tom Meyers edit was brilliant

  • @gabagoolenjoyer
    @gabagoolenjoyer 2 роки тому +6

    Steve definitely wrote the great Gatsby one.

  • @lornadryden5650
    @lornadryden5650 Рік тому +2

    Nick does norms jokes the best

  • @CalmDownJack
    @CalmDownJack Рік тому +4

    I love the edits so much I’m so happy you did that thank you

  • @terryballsack69
    @terryballsack69 2 роки тому +6

    BONG HIT TRANSPLANT

  • @tammymayeaux328
    @tammymayeaux328 2 роки тому +4

    I liked the dvd commentary! I swear norm brought out the funniest out of everyone

  • @jeffpierce71
    @jeffpierce71 2 роки тому +1

    Love the edits on these.

  • @ACWilderness
    @ACWilderness 2 роки тому +17

    Did you cut out Adam's joke!? Lmao

  • @ReeTM
    @ReeTM Рік тому +1

    Lovely stuff. Thank you!

  • @BenOgorek
    @BenOgorek Рік тому +1

    This must have been when Norm read the 9/11 card, but it’s not here. Really would love to see it in context

  • @johnmsosa
    @johnmsosa Рік тому +1

    the last joke delivery was perfect

    • @sakurad49
      @sakurad49 5 місяців тому +1

      like actually yes

  • @realChewky
    @realChewky Рік тому +8

    0:54 the first sign Norm was dying. Honestly, what the heck Norm? Get it together my man!

  • @walterlippmann6292
    @walterlippmann6292 8 місяців тому +1

    bong hit transplant

  • @thenigglefish2682
    @thenigglefish2682 3 місяці тому

    The inclusion of Tom Myers is top tier 🔥

  • @shnast-tv2
    @shnast-tv2 2 роки тому +3

    Nice remix. 👍🔥🔥

  • @supdog5923
    @supdog5923 8 місяців тому

    Nick and his dad really hit it off, hit it off the park playing catch with his favourite dad in the street

  • @andrewfoster5122
    @andrewfoster5122 2 роки тому +4

    Damn I hadn’t heard that Armando joke

  • @stuartpidassle7658
    @stuartpidassle7658 4 місяці тому

    “You know I agains hate speech but read that”

  • @MadKingOfMadaya
    @MadKingOfMadaya 3 місяці тому

    *_3:45_**_ ”Yapping” before it was cool_*

  • @turdjenbensonson5521
    @turdjenbensonson5521 Рік тому

    4:20 what you looking at ayy(A)🤣🤣🤣

  • @cadenbariekman5656
    @cadenbariekman5656 7 місяців тому

    I fucking love sarcasm it’s my gain and defense

  • @BRANDON-FJB
    @BRANDON-FJB 2 роки тому +1

    Nick is actually HUGE now lmao

  • @tylerallen9311
    @tylerallen9311 2 роки тому

    Was definitely not expecting Tom Myers

  • @Complex_Addition
    @Complex_Addition Рік тому +1

    This one's more like a factoid ! LOOL !

  • @martyduke3139
    @martyduke3139 2 роки тому +7

    Loved Nick's hate stutter!

    • @frankkoshel7181
      @frankkoshel7181 2 роки тому +2

      That was more a hate Tourette’s than a hate stutter

  • @realChewky
    @realChewky Рік тому

    4:28 of course they are lol. Norm once said he would not make fun of someone he didn't love, he wasn't being racist.

  • @nikolacatlak9875
    @nikolacatlak9875 Рік тому +1

    yes the images do help with the comedy!

  • @jesseriekenberg1724
    @jesseriekenberg1724 Рік тому

    My two fav UA-cam clip genres, cumtown and Norm have collided finally

  • @christiananderson6761
    @christiananderson6761 Місяць тому

    Tom Myers, a comedian!

  • @imma5269
    @imma5269 10 місяців тому

    I love the inclusion of the GOAT Tom Myers

  • @danwroy
    @danwroy 2 роки тому +1

    Norm Illustrated

  • @Gvozd111
    @Gvozd111 2 роки тому +3

    I'm surprised that some of the jokes are actually based on real news

  • @walterlippmann6292
    @walterlippmann6292 8 місяців тому

    "I'm against hate speech but read that"

  • @lockebrady8005
    @lockebrady8005 2 роки тому

    Tom Myers shoutout. 💀😆

  • @timewithoutconsequence4611
    @timewithoutconsequence4611 2 роки тому +1

    At least there will be no more dry meat.

  • @rafaelfernandeslopesdeoliv1700
    @rafaelfernandeslopesdeoliv1700 2 роки тому +9

    The only man funnier than kevin nealon.

    • @mattp.4329
      @mattp.4329 2 роки тому +2

      I Like that woman who plays Madea.

    • @bottomlinebassin2001
      @bottomlinebassin2001 2 роки тому +5

      Accomplished Comedian: Sinbad

    • @mattp.4329
      @mattp.4329 2 роки тому +3

      @@bottomlinebassin2001 Byron Allen

    • @mattp.4329
      @mattp.4329 2 роки тому +3

      @@bottomlinebassin2001 please include his title: Accomplished Comedian

  • @nopenope2632
    @nopenope2632 2 роки тому +1

    Good stuff just disappointed the last “falling pianos” joke wasn’t added.

  • @arcarson1253
    @arcarson1253 2 місяці тому

    'Meta world peace comedy.'... did swardson reference Sam Hyde at the end?

  • @CarlosMarquez-kx3wm
    @CarlosMarquez-kx3wm 2 роки тому +1

    It encourages dogs to run again 🐕..................................................................... to 7-11 for a slurpie 🧐😂

  • @jedward5155
    @jedward5155 2 роки тому +1

    It says here on this card.

  • @Mark_908
    @Mark_908 Рік тому

    Amazing edit, better than source

  • @Snoozelightable
    @Snoozelightable 7 місяців тому

    Did Nick Swardson say he likes World Peace?????? MDE NEVER DIES

  • @bajaborracho9139
    @bajaborracho9139 2 роки тому +2

    That's funny I smoked some weed in my truck on the way to the gym and suddenly found myself craving a cola slurpee. 7/11. Yes it was glorious.

  • @carlshiles1893
    @carlshiles1893 Рік тому

    A poppa, uh pappa, uh poppa, uh what do you call it? Pappa Johns?

  • @swapmeetlus4096
    @swapmeetlus4096 Рік тому

    “To run…..TO 7/11 FOR A SLURPY!!!”
    Gif damnit I miss norm v.v

  • @robhubbell1339
    @robhubbell1339 2 роки тому

    if you keep in mind that its a true story, pain and gain, is actually a good movie.

  • @otisgolightly3680
    @otisgolightly3680 2 роки тому

    I think it would be funny if maybe tom myers told that 7/11 joke but it was Paul Revere riding to seven eleven saying "the British want slurpees dude" idk maybe

  • @MoDeegroes
    @MoDeegroes Рік тому

    How do i get the full episodes of Norm's shows?

  • @matthewsmclaurin6862
    @matthewsmclaurin6862 Рік тому +1

    We miss you norm

  • @natedoggrevolution
    @natedoggrevolution 2 роки тому +1

    Richard Clock

  • @austinhellems9724
    @austinhellems9724 2 роки тому +5

    Norm doesn't hold a candle to tom meyers !!! The bong hit transplant king !

  • @TimBurtonTim
    @TimBurtonTim 2 роки тому +1

    Can someone explain the Martha Stewart joke?

  • @tommyfleur7649
    @tommyfleur7649 2 роки тому +1

    I'm a big fat guy

  • @roomate00
    @roomate00 Рік тому

    3:14

  • @billythekid22220
    @billythekid22220 Рік тому

    When did this air?

  • @crboxRTS
    @crboxRTS 6 місяців тому

    When is he going to Reno?

  • @eeyagone1
    @eeyagone1 2 роки тому

    Where's Jet Blue airlines
    .?

  • @CJFabes
    @CJFabes 2 роки тому +5

    Uh.... 9/11 airlines?

    • @ididntevenknowhewassick6315
      @ididntevenknowhewassick6315  2 роки тому +2

      Ah fuck did I forget to include that one? I forgot on account the powers that be cut that joke out of the final version of the episode

    • @ididntevenknowhewassick6315
      @ididntevenknowhewassick6315  2 роки тому +3

      Fortunately it aired lived so we have it. They tried to take away blood and bones from us too

  • @nunziomeatballs
    @nunziomeatballs 2 роки тому +1

    Meta world peace comedy?

  • @thecryingshame
    @thecryingshame 2 роки тому

    I'm against hate speech but read THIS

  • @maxdangers
    @maxdangers Рік тому

    I give this two thumbs up syndrome.

  • @VictorHernandez-eq5ns
    @VictorHernandez-eq5ns 10 місяців тому

    Hey man are you still alive?