Jokes! with Nick Swardson (BLUE CARD COLLECTION)

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  • Опубліковано 10 січ 2025

КОМЕНТАРІ • 220

  • @ididntevenknowhewassick6315
    @ididntevenknowhewassick6315  2 роки тому +117

    0:00 Norm’s a big fat guy
    0:33 I’m on acid cut my dick off
    0:48 Great Gatsby in 3D
    1:09 I think my doctor might be retarded…
    1:20 Jiro Dreams of Sushi
    1:42 Man dribbles soccer ball, dies
    2:05 PAIN and GAIN
    2:23 More of a factoid
    2:40 Dogs run to get high
    3:15 Another man cutting his cock off
    3:27 Barbara Walters is in the news
    3:48 Papa John’s coke dealer
    4:13 Sesame Street welcomes Armando
    4:30 TIME magazine’s most influential people
    4:54 More of a comment really
    5:04 Hate speech is wrong
    5:27 Last joke

    • @abrahamlincoln9758
      @abrahamlincoln9758 2 роки тому +4

      1:39 "Unwatchable"
      4:10 "I'm a big fat guy"

    • @joshk2123
      @joshk2123 10 днів тому

      @ididntevenknowhewassick6315 Are you tom Myers? Did I see you do stand-up comedy in Harrisburg PA? Or Maybe outside DC, or Maryland?

  • @BDFishandGaming
    @BDFishandGaming 2 роки тому +145

    “Now I’m against hate speech, but read that.”

  • @ADF366
    @ADF366 2 роки тому +380

    I love how Norm gives the shittiest jokes to Adam and his delivery just makes it even worse 🤣

    • @acehilm.
      @acehilm. 2 роки тому +13

      That's funny but also true.

    • @SamuelCAsh-ns3wm
      @SamuelCAsh-ns3wm 2 роки тому +16

      It is true but I don’t think Adam gets enough credit for being a great straight man and whipping boy.

    • @bdroie
      @bdroie 9 місяців тому +7

      Adam egret played his role perfectly, show wouldn’t have been the same without him

    • @maxarvo9918
      @maxarvo9918 8 місяців тому +2

      @@SamuelCAsh-ns3wm he's particularly good at the 'being whipped' bit. but that's just because of prior experience

    • @Tol1as
      @Tol1as 4 місяці тому +2

      @@SamuelCAsh-ns3wm Adam doesn't get enough credit for all the years he spent under the Queensboro bridge.

  • @tonygibson5171
    @tonygibson5171 2 роки тому +97

    “ I’m against hate speech, but read that.” - Lol, love the Tom Myers bong hit transplant in there. BHT is such a classic bit.

  • @skepticalobserver7484
    @skepticalobserver7484 2 роки тому +136

    Nick Swardsen and Norm go together so well. His mind can jump to absurd and hilarious tangents in a way very similar to Norm, and he’s one of the VERY few people I can think of who, when paired with Norm, makes me laugh as much as Norm does. Brilliant.

    • @ididntevenknowhewassick6315
      @ididntevenknowhewassick6315  2 роки тому +18

      Great observation. It’s a bummer so many of norm’s guests had a much more sterile headspace, much less yes anding

    • @nickkk420
      @nickkk420 2 роки тому +13

      It's also one of the few times I've seen nick genuinely happy in a pod cast

  • @thaatrain10
    @thaatrain10 2 роки тому +145

    Easily the best jokes segment in the series

    • @Lamar-t5s
      @Lamar-t5s 8 місяців тому +1

      nick swardson rocks

  • @redumbrella6832
    @redumbrella6832 2 роки тому +117

    Bong hit transplant is the greatest joke of the 21st century

    • @geraldpulido5540
      @geraldpulido5540 2 роки тому +5

      Its being challenged by shaubs mexican cookie joke

    • @beatsbydare
      @beatsbydare 2 роки тому +1

      I don’t think I get it

    • @redumbrella6832
      @redumbrella6832 2 роки тому +17

      @@beatsbydare You're not innate enough

    • @beatsbydare
      @beatsbydare 2 роки тому

      @@redumbrella6832 I want to get it

    • @billcrotts5456
      @billcrotts5456 2 роки тому +2

      @@beatsbydare it's Tom Myers bit

  • @madextreme2682
    @madextreme2682 2 роки тому +85

    "Reviewers are calling it everything from shit to fucking shit"
    That was so simple yet so funny

    • @Battleturds
      @Battleturds 2 місяці тому

      It's my favourite joke of the whole show

  • @jacks1478
    @jacks1478 Рік тому +10

    Bong hit transplant was an amazing addition

  • @mikeh6286
    @mikeh6286 2 роки тому +11

    "Unwatchable!" Thanks Adam! Perfect delivery.

  • @RyanCoomer
    @RyanCoomer 2 роки тому +143

    at a buffet, i personally sneak corndogs into the buffet so others can enjoy them. I hide 6 corndogs in my jacket pockets. it then, is a joy for me to see other patrons of the establishment eat my corndogs thinking they were part of buffe

    • @mkultra2456
      @mkultra2456 2 роки тому +4

      You got any crack?

    • @bottomlinebassin2001
      @bottomlinebassin2001 2 роки тому +2

      Brilliant!

    • @ripdajacker23
      @ripdajacker23 2 роки тому +13

      They’re an instant hit. Next time bring more than 6 you jerk!!

    • @RyanCoomer
      @RyanCoomer 2 роки тому +2

      @@ripdajacker23 sorry and WILL DO!!!!!

    • @mkultra2456
      @mkultra2456 2 роки тому

      @@RyanCoomer Also bring some crack.

  • @fjames3rd
    @fjames3rd 2 роки тому +57

    One of my absolute favorite blue card reads from the show.

  • @aaronwilliams8046
    @aaronwilliams8046 2 роки тому +40

    The "unwatchable" quip always makes me laugh.

  • @prestonheit1582
    @prestonheit1582 2 роки тому +23

    Lmao nice Tom Myers callout

  • @draculasneeze6681
    @draculasneeze6681 14 днів тому

    i love how Norm instigates as comment, and then says "Hey now, you can't say that" he sets it up all the time, I love it

  • @recentlybeheaded
    @recentlybeheaded 2 роки тому +148

    Nick seems like such a cool guy.

    • @BOBINDUN
      @BOBINDUN 2 роки тому +4

      Nobody funnier

    • @tangibleandroid285
      @tangibleandroid285 2 роки тому

      Um.........so does your mom.

    • @billcrotts5456
      @billcrotts5456 2 роки тому +3

      @@BOBINDUN what about Kevin Nealon?

    • @BOBINDUN
      @BOBINDUN 2 роки тому +9

      @@billcrotts5456 nobody funnier

    • @zachrat9083
      @zachrat9083 2 роки тому +1

      @@billcrotts5456 nobody funnier

  • @stevowilliams8279
    @stevowilliams8279 2 роки тому +72

    Ah, bong hit transplant, a fellow man of culture I see...

    • @mrdankjank
      @mrdankjank 2 роки тому +18

      We’re all gay here bud

    • @johnladelfa5764
      @johnladelfa5764 2 роки тому +14

      He was in a fugue

    • @billcrotts5456
      @billcrotts5456 2 роки тому +7

      I've tried pot

    • @theomen7665
      @theomen7665 2 роки тому +2

      Respect

    • @cont600ml
      @cont600ml 2 роки тому +6

      @@billcrotts5456 as someone that have tried pot i could aplaud but i dont feel like lifting my arms dude

  • @alm3872
    @alm3872 2 роки тому +15

    I love Nick, he's up there with Kevin Nealon.

  • @uGotGot1618
    @uGotGot1618 2 роки тому +14

    The near infinite loop of normisms he almost gets caught in at :53 is unreal haha "Eh, ee, uh, ee, eh, ee, uh"

  • @nickelastic
    @nickelastic 2 роки тому +8

    Was that last line Nick mentioned about ‘meta World Peace comedy’ a reference to Sam Hyde, Nick Rochefort & Charles Carroll show?

  • @danielm4114
    @danielm4114 2 роки тому +13

    Nice touching finding the articles referenced in the jokes. Swardson's blue card segment and the Furley banter is some top tier OGNML

  • @scoobboot
    @scoobboot 2 роки тому +3

    Nice work on the bong hit transplant

  • @50french23
    @50french23 Місяць тому

    Probably my 20th time watching this. Love you Norm and love you Nick. Just saw you in Albany tonight, loved the stories about Norm

  • @travim4314
    @travim4314 2 роки тому +9

    This was my favorite episode.

  • @mno7pro323
    @mno7pro323 2 роки тому +40

    Man this was great
    Nick Swardson is definitely up there with the great Kevin Nealon... except for one thing

  • @Super_Kramer
    @Super_Kramer 2 роки тому +16

    i miss norm, man. just read the book running the light and wasnt ready for that third act. love you guys.

  • @rowanmakesmemes7301
    @rowanmakesmemes7301 2 роки тому +11

    The 4 dead thumbs up had me laughing

  • @danielwiberg6757
    @danielwiberg6757 Рік тому +3

    I love how Norm's blue cards fit what he thinks works with his guests. By these you can see who are Norm's closest friends/guests.

  • @johnmurdoch8534
    @johnmurdoch8534 2 роки тому +8

    Nick swardson is great here

  • @jrrd4069
    @jrrd4069 2 роки тому +17

    Norm and Nick are amazing together...wish they would have done Nevada together.

  • @StingWolfpack
    @StingWolfpack 2 роки тому +4

    "thats weird right" lol

  • @Kenyanon
    @Kenyanon 2 роки тому +5

    lmfao bong hit transplant

  • @nicholasshackleferd
    @nicholasshackleferd 4 місяці тому +1

    These were honestly the best jokes that he gave to swardson. He must have really liked him.

  • @rafaelfernandeslopesdeoliv1700
    @rafaelfernandeslopesdeoliv1700 2 роки тому +19

    "...they're all fine people"

  • @CalmDownJack
    @CalmDownJack 2 роки тому +4

    I love the edits so much I’m so happy you did that thank you

  • @andreaholcock8992
    @andreaholcock8992 Рік тому +3

    Came for Nicky, stayed for Tom Myers shoutout

  • @turdjenbensonson5521
    @turdjenbensonson5521 2 роки тому +1

    4:20 what you looking at ayy(A)🤣🤣🤣

  • @bobbyjollins8091
    @bobbyjollins8091 Рік тому +6

    run to seven eleven for a moldy old banana

  • @madforit2
    @madforit2 2 роки тому +6

    easily the best jokes section

  • @ACWilderness
    @ACWilderness 2 роки тому +20

    Did you cut out Adam's joke!? Lmao

  • @tammymayeaux328
    @tammymayeaux328 2 роки тому +4

    I liked the dvd commentary! I swear norm brought out the funniest out of everyone

  • @johnmsosa
    @johnmsosa Рік тому +2

    the last joke delivery was perfect

    • @sakurad49
      @sakurad49 11 місяців тому +1

      like actually yes

  • @gabagoolenjoyer
    @gabagoolenjoyer 2 роки тому +7

    Steve definitely wrote the great Gatsby one.

  • @ReeTM
    @ReeTM 2 роки тому +1

    Lovely stuff. Thank you!

  • @randymarsh4182
    @randymarsh4182 2 роки тому +9

    as a deeply closeted gay man, i truly enjoyed this.

    • @jcmick8430
      @jcmick8430 4 місяці тому +1

      What I'm not gay dont you know what closeted means?!

  • @jesseriekenberg1724
    @jesseriekenberg1724 2 роки тому +1

    My two fav UA-cam clip genres, cumtown and Norm have collided finally

  • @lornadryden5650
    @lornadryden5650 Рік тому +2

    Nick does norms jokes the best

  • @Gszada
    @Gszada 4 місяці тому

    the ending is hilarious 🤣🤣🤣

  • @jeffpierce71
    @jeffpierce71 2 роки тому +1

    Love the edits on these.

  • @smokedoutpositivesquad1738
    @smokedoutpositivesquad1738 16 днів тому

    Thank you for the bong hit transplant

  • @supdog5923
    @supdog5923 Рік тому

    Nick and his dad really hit it off, hit it off the park playing catch with his favourite dad in the street

  • @BenOgorek
    @BenOgorek Рік тому +1

    This must have been when Norm read the 9/11 card, but it’s not here. Really would love to see it in context

  • @shnast-tv2
    @shnast-tv2 2 роки тому +3

    Nice remix. 👍🔥🔥

  • @briangrelling8476
    @briangrelling8476 8 місяців тому

    The Tom Meyers edit was brilliant

  • @realChewky
    @realChewky 2 роки тому

    4:28 of course they are lol. Norm once said he would not make fun of someone he didn't love, he wasn't being racist.

  • @walterlippmann6292
    @walterlippmann6292 Рік тому +1

    bong hit transplant

  • @Snoozelightable
    @Snoozelightable Рік тому +2

    Did Nick Swardson say he likes World Peace?????? MDE NEVER DIES

  • @martyduke3139
    @martyduke3139 2 роки тому +7

    Loved Nick's hate stutter!

    • @frankkoshel7181
      @frankkoshel7181 2 роки тому +2

      That was more a hate Tourette’s than a hate stutter

  • @thenigglefish2682
    @thenigglefish2682 9 місяців тому

    The inclusion of Tom Myers is top tier 🔥

  • @nickystee8396
    @nickystee8396 4 місяці тому

    Why aren't these full episodes available to watch ANYWHERE? I'd pay ffs!

  • @DR32000
    @DR32000 6 місяців тому

    The acid joke gets funnier each time

  • @Complex_Addition
    @Complex_Addition 2 роки тому +1

    This one's more like a factoid ! LOOL !

  • @CarlosMarquez-kx3wm
    @CarlosMarquez-kx3wm 2 роки тому +1

    It encourages dogs to run again 🐕..................................................................... to 7-11 for a slurpie 🧐😂

  • @nikolacatlak9875
    @nikolacatlak9875 2 роки тому +1

    yes the images do help with the comedy!

  • @tylerallen9311
    @tylerallen9311 2 роки тому

    Was definitely not expecting Tom Myers

  • @andrewfoster5122
    @andrewfoster5122 2 роки тому +4

    Damn I hadn’t heard that Armando joke

  • @imma5269
    @imma5269 Рік тому

    I love the inclusion of the GOAT Tom Myers

  • @connorvdl9416
    @connorvdl9416 17 днів тому

    Can I have them to eat😂

  • @BRANDON-FJB
    @BRANDON-FJB 2 роки тому +1

    Nick is actually HUGE now lmao

  • @bajaborracho9139
    @bajaborracho9139 2 роки тому +2

    That's funny I smoked some weed in my truck on the way to the gym and suddenly found myself craving a cola slurpee. 7/11. Yes it was glorious.

  • @noahblowingless6435
    @noahblowingless6435 2 роки тому +11

    The Hispanic Sesame Street character joke punchline shoulda been “and stabbed the letters S and A”
    Missed opportunity

  • @nopenope2632
    @nopenope2632 2 роки тому +1

    Good stuff just disappointed the last “falling pianos” joke wasn’t added.

  • @danwroy
    @danwroy 2 роки тому +1

    Norm Illustrated

  • @realChewky
    @realChewky 2 роки тому +9

    0:54 the first sign Norm was dying. Honestly, what the heck Norm? Get it together my man!

  • @carlshiles1893
    @carlshiles1893 2 роки тому

    A poppa, uh pappa, uh poppa, uh what do you call it? Pappa Johns?

  • @lockebrady8005
    @lockebrady8005 2 роки тому

    Tom Myers shoutout. 💀😆

  • @TimBurtonTim
    @TimBurtonTim 2 роки тому +1

    Can someone explain the Martha Stewart joke?

  • @timewithoutconsequence
    @timewithoutconsequence 2 роки тому +1

    At least there will be no more dry meat.

  • @christiananderson6761
    @christiananderson6761 7 місяців тому

    Tom Myers, a comedian!

  • @Gvozd111
    @Gvozd111 2 роки тому +3

    I'm surprised that some of the jokes are actually based on real news

  • @MadKingOfMadaya
    @MadKingOfMadaya 9 місяців тому

    *_3:45_**_ ”Yapping” before it was cool_*

  • @arcarson1253
    @arcarson1253 8 місяців тому

    'Meta world peace comedy.'... did swardson reference Sam Hyde at the end?

  • @rafaelfernandeslopesdeoliv1700
    @rafaelfernandeslopesdeoliv1700 2 роки тому +9

    The only man funnier than kevin nealon.

    • @mattp.4329
      @mattp.4329 2 роки тому +2

      I Like that woman who plays Madea.

    • @bottomlinebassin2001
      @bottomlinebassin2001 2 роки тому +5

      Accomplished Comedian: Sinbad

    • @mattp.4329
      @mattp.4329 2 роки тому +3

      @@bottomlinebassin2001 Byron Allen

    • @mattp.4329
      @mattp.4329 2 роки тому +3

      @@bottomlinebassin2001 please include his title: Accomplished Comedian

  • @Mark_908
    @Mark_908 2 роки тому

    Amazing edit, better than source

  • @billythekid22220
    @billythekid22220 Рік тому

    When did this air?

  • @TheRobertwells
    @TheRobertwells 3 місяці тому +1

    I used to like Norm, I still do but used to too.

  • @Laquintainnroom217
    @Laquintainnroom217 Місяць тому

    Now lets see kevin Allen's normlights

  • @cadenbariekman5656
    @cadenbariekman5656 Рік тому

    I fucking love sarcasm it’s my gain and defense

  • @otisgolightly3680
    @otisgolightly3680 2 роки тому

    I think it would be funny if maybe tom myers told that 7/11 joke but it was Paul Revere riding to seven eleven saying "the British want slurpees dude" idk maybe

  • @jedward5155
    @jedward5155 2 роки тому +1

    It says here on this card.

  • @kAzinGaming
    @kAzinGaming Рік тому

    When is he going to Reno?

  • @stuartpidassle7658
    @stuartpidassle7658 11 місяців тому

    “You know I agains hate speech but read that”

  • @M.OD.21
    @M.OD.21 2 роки тому

    How do i get the full episodes of Norm's shows?

  • @robhubbell1339
    @robhubbell1339 2 роки тому

    if you keep in mind that its a true story, pain and gain, is actually a good movie.

  • @swapmeetlus4096
    @swapmeetlus4096 2 роки тому

    “To run…..TO 7/11 FOR A SLURPY!!!”
    Gif damnit I miss norm v.v

  • @drewa6891
    @drewa6891 2 місяці тому

    Nick was great

  • @austinhellems9724
    @austinhellems9724 2 роки тому +5

    Norm doesn't hold a candle to tom meyers !!! The bong hit transplant king !

  • @walterlippmann6292
    @walterlippmann6292 Рік тому

    "I'm against hate speech but read that"

  • @RobertsonIsland
    @RobertsonIsland Місяць тому

    3:07 a fellow Norm Macdonald x Cumtown fan

  • @abcdeeeeedded
    @abcdeeeeedded 3 місяці тому +1

    Can I have them to eat?