How Narcissist Disables Your Alarm System (Zombies, Zimbos, Contagion)

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  • Опубліковано 24 лис 2024
  • Narcissists are externally indistinguishable from full-fledged human beings. But they have no core or stable identity. Your uncanny valley alarm system doesn't go off because it is damaged. The narcissist proceeds to penetrate your defenses and leverage your vulnerabilities in order to convert you into a clone of himself, his traits and behaviors (this is known as CPTSD or complex trauma). Narcissism is contagious.
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 95

  • @kiwicatnip
    @kiwicatnip Рік тому +24

    Yes! I have always felt this discomfort around toxic/suspected narcissists/cluster b people with no seeming cause, I can feel that something is off or wrong when I am around them and it sets off this feeling of fear deep in my core. I feel totally disengaged around these people and I have been right about them many times.
    But I am still confused as to why I ended up in relationships with narcissists.
    This “alarm” being deactivated by trauma makes sense as to why my mom does not see people as toxic, has kept so many toxic friends around and was not able to protect me or see that there was anything wrong with the way I was being treated. Wow

    • @SK-sy7zp
      @SK-sy7zp 10 місяців тому +4

      it's fear and it's actually scary, maybe that's why we tent to "ignore". Kinda similar to the fear I had towards my mother but not as big.

    • @margiel2180
      @margiel2180 7 місяців тому +2

      Wow me too thanks

  • @terrijones1167
    @terrijones1167 Рік тому +145

    Thank you Professor. They have a script that must be adhered to and as such this manifests in robotic and repeat repeat behaviour.....abuse is dished out if you refuse to be a good object and follow their script....the uncanny valley feeling which I have experienced is because on an animalistic level I know they are not human. Primal senses.

    • @chris9527
      @chris9527 Рік тому +29

      Narcissist don't have a script that's why they live a miserable life they forgot to write the script and expect you to write the script and how dare you get their script wrong and think for one second you can quit you're acting job. they cannot take you being luke Skywalker they instead cast you for the role of gweedo. Deep insecurity causes people to abuse others and deep insecurity makes a horror movie Everytime.

  • @c.guinevere
    @c.guinevere Рік тому +92

    The problem for me was that my uncanny valley alarm was always activated because of the environment I grew up in, so it never went off long enough for me to feel it turn on around a zombie. I always felt something off when I met a narc, but my alarm system was so overwhelmed already that I couldn't feel the increased threat.

    • @yoyoma17
      @yoyoma17 Рік тому +5

      Yes, wow, this describes my situation as well.

  • @angelakh4147
    @angelakh4147 Рік тому +63

    Our uncanny valley alarm system wasn’t just shut off during childhood abuse. The uncanny valley experience actually became not only familiar, but desirable. We are drawn to these Zimboes and narcissists.

  • @phinton314
    @phinton314 Рік тому +50

    " Narcissized," is a great description of how they cocoon and suck your life force.

  • @cherriescheries
    @cherriescheries Рік тому +21

    Zimbo is real.. Anyone that never experience zimbo won't comprehend it.

  • @dakotaridgek9
    @dakotaridgek9 Рік тому +83

    I hope you grasp how deeply you are helping some of us. The only thing that was real was my pain.
    You really truly have been THE ONE I have chosen to listen to and believe….and trust.
    You clarify all of my intuition. I am not insane. And you “make it make sense”.
    I want to take “my” narcissist and deliver him to you. Tie him to the saint andrews cross and torture him with reality.
    But i carry his Polaroid within me. My greatest teacher. I am reborn, without him. The parasite who drained me of Life.

    • @sophiediscobarre944
      @sophiediscobarre944 Рік тому +10

      What a response. Agree with everything you've said. I reached final stage of healing this week and Sam has been integral to this process

    • @barbarascoggins5239
      @barbarascoggins5239 Рік тому +8

      Such of a relief when it's explained. Big sigh! Thank you Sam! You are am amazing Genius in your field!

    • @angelsavita524
      @angelsavita524 Рік тому +6

      I second that!!!! I do believe everything equals out via karma … sometimes that takes time but it do and will happen.

    • @alwaysrighton
      @alwaysrighton Рік тому +2

      Relief ! The one good thing they accomplish during the relationship is they make the post breakup feel better/healthier/happier without them. Don't mistake feelings of complex trauma for love...

    • @leventunver
      @leventunver 6 місяців тому +2

      @@sophiediscobarre944 What are the stages of the healing process?

  • @stansmiley9737
    @stansmiley9737 Рік тому +52

    I’m Haitian and what you are saying is true and it is still practiced to this day..

    • @cherriescheries
      @cherriescheries Рік тому +1

      For real?? You have zombie in Haiti?

    • @stansmiley9737
      @stansmiley9737 Рік тому +1

      @@cherriescheries yes.. they are alive but dead.. and they slave for their master.

    • @idimidoimi717
      @idimidoimi717 Рік тому +2

      ​@@stansmiley9737How they achieve that and for what purpose? I'm surprised that your government doesn't stop that.

    • @paulogunyemi8617
      @paulogunyemi8617 Рік тому +2

      ​​@@idimidoimi717there is no government in Haiti

  • @anabandana666
    @anabandana666 Рік тому +48

    Excellent lecture, thank you for calling upon the reactivation of instincts put to sleep in my childhood, reenacted in my adult life. These sentences are a candle in a cave, getting brighter.

  • @paulmaguire2714
    @paulmaguire2714 Рік тому +15

    Recognition is the key.Stay awake.Body snatchers?Clones?

  • @jenniferking8742
    @jenniferking8742 Рік тому +8

    Thank you Sam for the distinction between complex trauma victims being transient and cluster B, borderline being a life long condition. I Checking boxes does not equal the real thing. I have been waiting for this distinction to be explained.

  • @professorchaos9
    @professorchaos9 Рік тому +9

    Around them I get a sudden wave of feeling of emptiness inside me, it's also my narc radar, I asume this is the uncanny valley feeling.

  • @doasyoulikefawkes7127
    @doasyoulikefawkes7127 5 місяців тому +2

    As a cptsd survivor victim this is pure gold dust.Thankyou so much Sam. I hope that you are well.✨️peace.

  • @trekker3468
    @trekker3468 Рік тому +6

    Thank you for sharing this information. Your videos over time have filled in gaps of many things, and I am grateful. There was a time when my alarm was ignored.

  • @ckl5801
    @ckl5801 Рік тому +24

    Thanks Prof. Vaknin…I had never considered this. Realizing I suffer from CPTSD I felt very encouraged saying that this is something that can be healed. Unfortunately I have spent decades with Narcs in my family of origin and 14 years of marriage. I want to believe I haven’t been “infected” with an incurable Zimbo virus. This thought is anxiety provoking. Please address. Thanks!

    • @samvaknin
      @samvaknin  Рік тому +33

      CPTSD is reversible regardless of the length of exposure.

  • @DianaWhite-io7jt
    @DianaWhite-io7jt 2 дні тому

    Never felt a thing. Was very impressed by his language skills. He presented as human

  • @alinapercovich2671
    @alinapercovich2671 Рік тому +9

    Muchas gracias, pusiste en palabras lo que estoy sintiendo y me ayudaste a comprender mas profundamente este tema vital para mi en este momento.

  • @barbarascoggins5239
    @barbarascoggins5239 Рік тому +8

    Wow, at last I have an explanation of why they are so cruel. It's as if they have no choice. That's a Xombie 😢

  • @voodoochile4147
    @voodoochile4147 Рік тому +7

    “…narcissized…” Yes!

  • @viorelagocs
    @viorelagocs Рік тому +24

    Dear professor Vaknin, maybe you could make a video about the narcissist's relationship with humor. The narcissist I've known for 2.5 years has never even once uttered any resemblance to a joke, or reacted to any jokes of mine. This always puzzled me...

    • @samvaknin
      @samvaknin  Рік тому +5

      Search the channel.

    • @stayce751
      @stayce751 Рік тому +3

      Yes!!!! I experienced the same thing.

    • @StayTheFOut
      @StayTheFOut Рік тому +6

      Mine had a fake laughter that creeped me out...

    • @viorelagocs
      @viorelagocs Рік тому

      @@StayTheFOut 😆 Oh dear!... Now I feel lucky...

    • @paradanmellow
      @paradanmellow 9 місяців тому

      ​@@StayTheFOuti knew a narcissistic psychopath that didn't know how to laugh, the best she managed was donkey. It really snapped me out of the joke with shock about so much lack of self-awareness

  • @tathe3786
    @tathe3786 Рік тому +25

    The one I dealt with told me when he treats me like trash… and I said: I am human and what you do is is not like a human reacts to an other human. Its like you have no empathy.. he said: I am a human to, like you!!! And most time that was the end of discussion.. when I tried to explain what human behave looks like in this kind of situation, he raged at me and told me to stop discus with him.. that mAkes him angry 😡 and if he gets angry I am the one that will get the bate for it!
    And if you are in the fog you don’t recognize this strange behave!!

    • @777Honeypie
      @777Honeypie Рік тому +18

      I wouldn't have believed it had I not experienced it. Bad to have gone through, but glad I can understand.

    • @tathe3786
      @tathe3786 Рік тому +9

      @@777Honeypie thx for telling me this … yes if you went trough it you believe it!!!

  • @evadeenbrickwood6682
    @evadeenbrickwood6682 6 місяців тому +4

    In Southern Africa, we call people from Zimbabwe Zimbos in slang.

    • @internetmachine
      @internetmachine 4 місяці тому

      Africa freaks me out, people are constantly hacking eachother up and the world just shrugs. Maybe my ancestors' ordeal coming here as slaves was a blessing in disguise.

  • @Виктория-е9ц9ф
    @Виктория-е9ц9ф Рік тому +2

    Very very interesting video, you are the best and I’m sure the only who understand and explain narcissism so deep

  • @8bitgamerC64
    @8bitgamerC64 Рік тому +16

    Are narcissists an evolutionary throwback/reversion? I came to this conclusion many years ago after watching the main narc in my family. I always wondered what her thought process was. It seemed overly simplistic, as was her behaviour.

    • @GavabundoFagundes
      @GavabundoFagundes 6 місяців тому

      Most likely. Since our species has grown exponentially, and any absurd growth of something causes a "Bubble" (economic jargon), or Newton's Third Law.
      I think Narcs are the "opposing force" to Human Species ever rising growth, that should "maintain equilibrium".

  • @Chickching
    @Chickching Рік тому +2

    Thank you. Appreciate your videos. 🌸

  • @dakotaridgek9
    @dakotaridgek9 Рік тому +9

    Second Order False Belief - check.

  • @horse286
    @horse286 Рік тому +3

    Thank You Very Much
    Master❤

  • @martapuszynska7517
    @martapuszynska7517 Рік тому +24

    Professor Vaknin, this is out of topic of todays video, but I wanted to ask under the latest one to maximise chances of reply. You sometimes recommend in your videos literature and authors that you value a lot like Camus books or "Bahave" by Sapolsky. Would you mind to share in any form you top 10 (or more) psychology books for example or top authors? You are incredibly eloquent and educated. I want to read what you read.

    • @glenyshill72
      @glenyshill72 Рік тому +1

      Sam mentioned Daniel Dennett in this vlog.

  • @jaatee18
    @jaatee18 Рік тому +2

    Im learning ... still: thank you Dr.
    !

  • @mihaelagogu861
    @mihaelagogu861 Рік тому +6

    Isn't it always dangerous to label other human beings as "not human beings "?

    • @samvaknin
      @samvaknin  Рік тому +20

      Not FULLY human. The truth is sometimes risky and unpalatable - but it is still the truth.

  • @vildanb8038
    @vildanb8038 Рік тому +7

    Thank you !!! You the best !!

  • @claudine516
    @claudine516 Рік тому +2

    Dad is AsPD and what not, I couldn't sense the zimbo up to recently, seems to be a lot of them about.

  • @estellewarren62
    @estellewarren62 Рік тому +3

    We don't have access to anyone's mind?

  • @avadhuta_4
    @avadhuta_4 Рік тому +14

    I still don't really understand what is a narcissist. In theory, I seem to get it, but in practice I get confused. Many non-narcissists seem to have narcissistic qualities, and vice versa. How to measure these things? I seem to think that emotion, or intensity equals life, even if unconscious. I can't believe in consciousness as such, or I don't trust it.
    Could we have a zombie that is conscious? I do think so. We can have somatic, and cerebral zombies....
    I also have a strong feeling that narcissism phenomenon is collective.. and just avoiding one person, or two doesn't really help. That there are no easy solutions .

  • @virtuallyrealistic
    @virtuallyrealistic Рік тому +14

    With few exceptions, the people skills of the management team of my former employer were almost always off. Their attitude towards those working under them had an air of “these people are worthless”. It seemed so disconnected from the reality that we as middle management had hired these “worthless” people. So who was to blame for this lamentable situation? It was also demonstrated when we were in restaurants. It was de rigueur to complain mercylessly to the wait staff about any and everything about the food and service. You might think it was to create a reason to be stingy on the tip but no! The tip was paid in full. It was apparent to me it was to demonstrate the twisted semblance of a human in upper management, just how demeaning and demanding they could be. The message was that these were the skills necessary to succeed. My attitude was that I knew how to manage without the rude drama. I was not a good fit. The corporation no longer exists. First ethically bankrupt than financially. It takes hard work to go bankrupt while making a good profit.

    • @marciareynolds1869
      @marciareynolds1869 Рік тому +3

      I noticed uncanny valley and retired earlier than I wanted. I think I saved myself some big trouble.

  • @HostofMirrors
    @HostofMirrors Рік тому +5

    Does the uncanny valley feeling come up with someone with BPD? I suspect that I could have NPD + BPD after my relationship with my ex, but when we met I was highly intoxicated, but the second time we met and I was sober my inner monologue was screaming "she's not real, she's pretending to be someone else, and why are you doing this to me?" I kept feeling like something was off for nearly two months.

    • @samvaknin
      @samvaknin  Рік тому +7

      Uncanny valley reactions are triggered by narcissists, psychopaths, and histrionics.

    • @HostofMirrors
      @HostofMirrors Рік тому

      @@samvaknin Thank you for responding.
      Okay, that kinda makes sense with HPD. I could see her having HPD, but it seems like she's definitely tamed some things. I always felt it was something else. However, that could be my cognitive distortions.
      I guess everyone is different and not everyone has all the traits, but I would think I would have expected to notice the speech or other things.
      I'm constantly trying to figure out who she was, but I need to let it go. 😅

    • @HostofMirrors
      @HostofMirrors Рік тому

      @@samvaknin Follow up question, I felt a sense of danger around this person early on (I felt kidnapped and needed to run away), but this person was fully capable of crying, and always showed love. Do you think that could have been HPD for the sense of feeling in "danger?" Or could this be my cognitive distortions and paranoia?

  • @stephaniemillsaps3626
    @stephaniemillsaps3626 8 місяців тому +1

    LOVE 🙏🙏🙏

  • @northpole4592
    @northpole4592 Рік тому +1

    Thanks for sharing your great knowdledge, although I only have time for practical advice (steps for getting rid of the psychopat. Not for studying him. He can go to hell). How can we get a guide? Otherwise we will fail. I do not intend to be 10 years in therapy, or end at the street with nothing, or waiting until I find for myself the way out. I am almost there, but probably I will take a wrong decision if I do not find a coach/guide. I have spent all my money already twice trying to escape bc I am a totally damaged person now. Blocked, rages, maybe narcissist traits etc. You are right, I was suspicious I am not acting normal, and here it is the explanation. But you completely forget the isolation. Kill myself after 50 years of suffering is becoming my way out after 35 years of trying to escape without success.

  • @plumbingnetwork5067
    @plumbingnetwork5067 Рік тому +6

    If they're not human, what are they? What would be the social/moral/legal consequences of having detected such a creature? If they have a different nature from us, they can't change it and become human. They will never be human. Can a dog change its nature? Or a cat? As a consequence, should they have the same rights as human beings?

    • @samvaknin
      @samvaknin  Рік тому +6

      Watch my videos on what defines a human.

    • @mariallanestimoneda2664
      @mariallanestimoneda2664 Рік тому +3

      ​@@samvakninhello professor. Which video?

    • @RHope7
      @RHope7 8 місяців тому

      This is the fate of the Christian tribulation. Christ died so that men no longer live unto zimbos. 2 corinthians 5.15. Be reflective, be worthy.

  • @GreyCat827
    @GreyCat827 5 місяців тому

    Thank you.

  • @barbarascoggins5239
    @barbarascoggins5239 Рік тому +3

    Is this to be considered as Evil? No soul? We all want labels to make sense of it all. That's a downside. When your confused you want clarity even though the world is muddy. Thoughts?
    Just curious 🤔

    • @RHope7
      @RHope7 8 місяців тому

      It isn't considered evil to be comparative. Therefore, they are seduced as 'the betters'. "More than you". Its effects are evil that satisfy only with control of what we should consider valuable as a human state of admiration. A balance of mind has to 'fork stick' its efforts. I found this in the evolution of faith recognising our collective respect purpose is irritated by exploitative motive. The prophesy of Christ does this. Worthiness is not a comparative smugness.

  • @BismillahirRahmanirRaheemB
    @BismillahirRahmanirRaheemB Рік тому +1

    My dogs name is Zombie 😂😂😂

  • @susanrennie9827
    @susanrennie9827 Рік тому +2

    I received so much from this session. May I ask one question. Effect, cognition and connection. Am I hearing the words correctly?

  • @mariamoldovan1017
    @mariamoldovan1017 Рік тому

    Owàaaòoo ! Many thanks !

  • @rosilenealbino5338
    @rosilenealbino5338 Рік тому +2

    Por favor, legendas nos comentários. Obrigada

    • @samvaknin
      @samvaknin  Рік тому +1

      Subscribe to the @NarcisismocomMirna channel.

  • @ninz0149
    @ninz0149 Місяць тому

    Would growing up with a narcissist father cause you to be reactive under certain circumstances or is my reactivity only provoked by a narcissist or a narcissistic person? As I notice myself only having such a strong reaction with certain people I use to think I simply have an issue with injustice

    • @samvaknin
      @samvaknin  Місяць тому +1

      It engenders general sensitivity to narcissistic traits and behaviors even in non-narcissists.

  • @larryjeffryes6168
    @larryjeffryes6168 7 місяців тому +1

    Can’t personas be deployed at scale? Narc personas that are embedded and supported by traditions while stable and by virtue signaling when in flux, syncretizing? Social installations called idols, whatever the source of narrative - can’t behavior coalesce around these idols as profiles of normalization? And also structure the world game, naive upward/cynical downward. Forgive upward/curse downward (Dominionism). This psychological social order might be very stable while being toxic. If we all run to join a power clubs and they’re all run this way, how do we get anywhere. Can a club not run this way compete? How to accomplish structural remedy when a cure would turn so much upside down?

    • @samvaknin
      @samvaknin  7 місяців тому

      Search the channel for collective narcissism.

  • @SPWKarlsson
    @SPWKarlsson Рік тому +2

    [ NIHIL EX NIHILO - Aryan "BUDDHISM™, Most Famous Today for What it Never Ever Taught (Namely Soul Denying Nihilism) is a Modern Doctrinal Corruption of the Buddha Sasana, the Awakened Scythian Sage Buddha Shakyamuni Gautama's Spiritual Teaching of the Eightfold Noble (Noble/Aryan) Path to the Absolute, the Teaching of the Brahmayana ]

  • @wellthatgotweird
    @wellthatgotweird Рік тому +1

    I dont like to think about this time in my life...but this particular person not only disabled my alarms but removed my sim care from my phone thinking it would prevent me from contacting my family & friends