One thing i noticed in my 68 yrs (being a Narc Magnet) experience.... they can really well fake/mimic other people's emotional words and expressions but they can never HIDE their OWN emotions. You just have to watch their facial expressions and body language. It is written all over them.
people at the top do it, sometimes you gotta do some wrong to get ahead! THE SYSTEM is about making money, so just do the wrong things "legally" maybe some grey areas in between (;
"Stop giving people the benefit of the doubt!" I believe I'll write that on a 3x5 card and put it on the mirror in the bathroom. Advice I wish I'd gotten 50 years ago.
I would say that we can give people the benefit of the doubt BUT you need to weigh all the possible negative intentions of whomever you are interacting with on the other. It does a really weird thing to manipulators when they consciously pick up on the fact that you are trying to view them in a positive light and you somehow (in their mind) inexplicably stay a step ahead of them and their weird and honestly inefficient games. Sometimes they just up and leave you alone but some other times they get curious and before they know it you are what appears to them from their perspective reading their mind (when it's just risk management and emotional self discipline) and you find yourself pretty much holding their hand and walking them down a path that they never thought existed. I'm not saying it's curing anyone at all, in fact it's the opposite. You are really sort of hacking their ego in a way and they stop trying to delude you and they start deluding themselves. Obviously that's not a safe endeavor but it's definitely food for thought before your next trip to the car dealership or you hire a contractor who's trying to pull a fast one on you.
Manipulators play games but a truly free individual plays life and knows that none of it is a game, it's more like a boxing match with real and immediate consequences.
If I could mandate one change in the world, I would make the study of personality disorders, like narcissism, sociopathy and psychopathy a requirement from 8th grade through high school graduation. If everyone knew this stuff, what it is, how to recognize it, how to handle people who exhibit these patterns of behavior, the world really would be a better place.
Absolutely! I can't believe the level of ignorance on this subject, even amongst therapists and the social care profession. People seem to think psychopaths are just serial killers and Narcissists are a bit arrogant and like taking selfies! In my experience you can feel toxic people in your gut and you may be nervous or confused around them. The worst I've met give me butterflies in my stomach - fight or flight response, but in a romantic context you can mistake it for attraction.
@@daviddemars see that would involve me compromising on my boundaries. I'm not giving people the benefits of the doubt anymore it's only got me in shitty situations. I can't speak for everybody but I feel like most of us who've been through this especially if it's been family since you were a young kid, you're very hyper aware of authenticity. I love your videos though
I truly believe that these people of all kind of emotionless Personality Disorders are the majority. We empaths are the minority. The statistical numbers should be reversed....
learned that the hard way. during a heated debate, i told my ex “we’ll just have to agree to disagree. this isn’t a productive conversation and i don’t want to keep arguing.” that was the day i learned just how deep their need for both being RIGHT, and getting their way really goes.
Thats right, relationships require some compromise to make it work but the only person compromising will be you and it will be who you are that you compromise to keep these people in your life.
The number of personality disordered people seems to be increasing exponentially. I try not to even think about how many children there are, currently being converted into future narcissists, psychopaths and sociopaths. Very disturbing.
Deflection. Projection. AND absolutely no Reflection.. THANK you Coach...Stay Educated AND Dedicated everyone.. Much Love..❤❤ Edit. STOP expecting YOU. From other people.........when i exposed her i just continually said. You know AND I know That I KNOW so....that would totally be ignored of course...i said that instead of calling someone a narcissist or Borderline Etc.....
We all need more compassion and empathy David this world lacks so much of it your channel is very educational thanks for what you do here on this platform!
Thank you for reminding us to love ourselves first. I know that I sometimes forget to take care of myself first due to the conditioning learned in my family. My needs being often disregarded because my father especially was always absorbed by his imaginary health issues. By neglecting our needs we become the best pray for these predators. So, being mindful of our own needs we create a protective layer against these selfish creatures.
This guy knows his stuff. Everything he said is on point. People absorb his instruction. I agree to the ratio of 1 out of 10 to have the character of an antisocial personality disorder. These menaces to society impose is an epidemic and are a detriment to people and society. They are everywhere.
I am 68 yrs old and i can honestly say that i only knew 2 person (beside myself) in my life that i am "almost" sure they didn't have any of these personality disorders. I know that i am a Narc MAGNET but still i think the percentage of these people are waaaaaay much higher than we know about. That's my opinion/observation. Just saying.....
Empathy are simply what results from being raised in a toxic family or environment…people with high empathy can feel others pain and suffering or anger…but what about happiness and contentment? It’s a symptom of having to always walk on eggshells and predict what moods their care givers were in…and so on…being a kind person is what gets someone into an abusive relationship because we have never been allowed to have personal boundaries and narcs can smell that on us…they can see it in our demeanor and that’s how they pick their prey…it’s not that we are magnets for narcissistic people but rather we haven’t learned how to set healthy boundaries or even know what a safe environment is….so if someone is highly empathic…u know they’ve seen some effed up shite in their lives and they’re fully aware of what being mistreated is like….
They will create trouble and when you call them out on it they will blame you and play victim. All the while acting nice like the trouble they created didnt even happen.
"I am not perfect but I never did anything wrong." No accountability ever. They do self reflection on some level and they are ashamed of themselves. 247 fear of being caught. Such a stressful energy to bring everywhere they go.
well don’t be so critical about it, maybe she’s a narc magnet and you are the narc and not her. some people do all the right things and get burned often.
The grandiose thing is almost hilarious because the ones I’ve had to deal with ….arent really all that attractive…they had to resort to making fun of me aging to try knocking me down to their level of self esteem….so it’s quite amusing to actually see what they’re like and then remember that they think they’re gorgeous and gods gift to humanity..I wonder where they get this idea that they’re so wonderful…when there’s only them that think this way about them…
Love what you are doing here and your dedication... I have a very effective question I ask that is very effective, especially in the beginning. It's something I do not share openly because, narc's are always sharpening their respective skills with these videos and social media.. It is something I will share privately to those who really need it. Thanks David
If I could change something in the world I would want everyone to be genuine be themselves because I can see right through it every time and when I expose them they hate me forever because they know I know.
I kn narcs whom are calm when they create chaos .There are many empaths who have to change jobs etc bc of the inability to deal with toxicity of these environments. Failure is not an identity it takes courage to walking from failures w/out giving up hope.If u reading this this too shall pass.
Grat points, David. Although none of of them shuld be considered in isolation But what is the point of exposing them ? Knowing people, even if (what is logistically impossible), say at workplace, you exposed a toxic person 7 times showing others different evil traits, others co-workers would defend them like crazy and you would make enemies. Narcs / psychos have already have lots of enables. I saw too many seemingly good people trying to cling to and please toxic folk. Many people wouldn't know the truth even if it sat on their face.
Healing family from California! Hi David!! Thank u for sharing ur hard work that u have been working on to help us all. Thank u for helping us open our eyes❤️god bless u always
Just throw me in the room. We'll be in a relationship pretty soon. I won't know what's up for about 7yrs but if I have a handler, this is a rock solid technique.
Ive picked up on tons of my narc coworkers walk up to me when things are pissing them off at work and outside of work,so they do admire how calm you remain under pressure although they hate to admit it.
I texted a narc that I deserve to be treated better, so he ghosted me and then eventually told me he ghosted me just for texting that. Then he said he wanted to be cordial and then he started accusing me of stalking him and “following him around the gym” when I was doing a workout where I had every exercise written down. He got me kicked out of the gym and blocked me. I’m happier now because he isn’t causing chaos. Then I was walking my dog and a guy asked for my number and started love bombing me and then cancelled our date and promised to reschedule, but then he acts like he’s waiting for me to text him or chase him, like I need to lower my standards.
Very good video. I have one, pretend to be sick or get sick and when you tell them you're not well. You'll get "hope you feel better" no offer if you need anything, if you need help. Nope. If they ever cared it was only during the love bombing/hook phase. Do you have more videos on reactive abuse? Im struggling w my response to interactions i had w toxic people. I know i was wrong. Trying to make sure i leave before ever feeling that way again
Very good questions. Every single one is spot on. My narc decided to rage at 3:30 am. Woke me up just to do so. But it's my fault and I'm crazy. And he still expected me to go to work at 7. It's a crazy world out there. Protect yourselves.
THANK YOU Im 56 and met my "first" covert NARC 3yrs ago which led me to recognize that my mom is a low grade Narc because i read after the first. HEARTACHE Im the youngest of 4 and i am just now seeing my siblings probly know. This is in process now. The Lord is putting me through the fire . Amen
Thanks for your videos ! I'd like to know something sir, if we've someone in our surrounding that may be a sociopath (without a real diagnosis) but we only talk by messages, is it dangerous for us (Mental health, security...)
As a single mom, anyone who mistreats my son…nope! Anyone who criticizes my son especially in our own home where he’s supposed to feel safe …they’ll find themselves flying out the front door! And a narcissist/sociopath can’t help but to criticize and insult anyone their victim loves and is close to…I had to give the look of do it and ur done! To the last sociopath that came around when he started to critique my 10 year old son…started insulting me as a mother and then started to try belittling my son for the way he played a video game…all I had to say is watch it! I really really really like that one and nobody talks shite about him around me…I will take ur damned face off! Understand!!? He got the point!
Went bike riding and he ran over a child and didn’t even look back, I cound not believe my eyes The small child was on the sidewalk crying, I stopped and comforted him Went NC after that Is this person a PSYCHOPATH
Just in the first few minutes talking about how common they are is also telling that these psychos are also in the justice system, government organizations such as the civil rights division and EEOC, law enforcement especially, your average court clerk and DMV clerk and in positions such as judges where we seek help and justice from these damages like abusive employers. They are all over the workplace in all industries.
And they continuously victimize people for being the victims of narcissistic abuse…and then they say why didn’t u call the police or why didn’t u leave sooner? And go where? And because the police don’t want to deal with it and will tell the victim to leave and that there’s nothing they can do…I had a cps worker tell me I deserved getting beat up by the individual that had just beaten me up for a few hours and even went as far as biting me all over my body,,,because I refused to be his hoe…I refused to play into his bs games and so he thought he was going to make me…the cps worker told me that this is all my fault and that I deserved what happened to me…and then proceeded to tell my 10 year old son what happened when I didn’t want him knowing…
Amen brother 🙏, in order for someone to grow and mature , they need to change bad habits for the good, but not change to impress or decieve the other person or persons.. But Satan who is dark are in these types of people, praise God for opening my eyes and self reflect, on what my mind was deceiving me with. When my ex husband and flying monkeys family dynamics, was doing to me. It was leading me into darkness.. they were offended by my kindness and Loving behaviours, that I was judged, mocked, critically devalued as part of their family. I started saying no to everything they wanted me to agree with, that's when their masks fell off, they showed their true selves, i ran like i never ran before and will never look back 🙏🙂 And
Can they communicate and solve an issue when they are the perpetrator. Confront them and tell them they did something to hurt you and you want to k kw how they could do something like that to you. If they're a narcissist, they'll either stonewall you and get up and leave, they'll ignore you and keep watching TV or their phone, or they'll give you the silent treatment. You might also ask "Have you been cheating on me?". They might immediately DARVO. DARVO stands for Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim Offender. So with the cheating question they may say "How dare you insult me in such a way. What about the girl in the restaurant 15 years ago that you said you would tip her well for good service? You cheated on me with her. It's all about putting you on the defensive so you have to explain yourself and it gets them out of the question. After a while, most people will stop asking the narcissist anything out of fear if their reaction.
They give you the silent treatment when you call them out,especially if it's in the presence of their peers. It's another form of emotional abuse and why IMMATURITY, THATS WHY.
They don’t like change at all. They don’t like us telling them no either. No patience. Married to one 24 years. I am learning. Learned to control my emotions so not used against me. We agree to disagree on things happening in our world. I have changed spiritually for past 4 years cause I’m 2020 I got 20/20 vision. He doesn’t like my change. Thank you for truth. He is playing victim now. ❤to all
My ex, also my artist manager in the music industry a covert malignant narcissist with BPD/Sadism. He blew up my cell while I was getting a root canal. I didn’t text or call fast enough of course he can wait days, weeks, months, or years. My dentist was like WTF. I knew who it was. So the texts turned nasty Did you block me? How immature! I might cut your contract! Nice being under one at a cult like label he ran. I texted, I was getting a root canal. I apologize I was mistaken he texted.
1. Replaces you fast 2. Cant accept no 3. Bullies 4. The copycat, droppleganger destiny stealer 5. The copycats 6. Needs validation 7.use material 8. Loves to cheat
My gosh you see it too?!! Last couple of years I thought something was wrong with my eyes. Only started happening since my awakening. This chaps aura is beaming bright white. Some pictures and videos of people against a white background I’ve seen over the last few years, have had that black/grey thin aura. Scary siht. This chaps soul is pure & he is on our side.
@@Groundwater24 there is no side when we’re all divine. Yes, I see white too and it’s so strong it looks almost like it’s a trailing effect. Thanks for the confirmation MotherGodemotional empath6 (ground=earth=Mother God, water=emotion, intuition, 2+4=6, 6=caring, nurturing,empathic)♾💚
I appreciate this very, very good, and knowing insight. My only pause with the discernment technique you offer, is that, it requires engaging with one. And i dont say that to be cute one bit.
I can give you the REAL way to find out. Ask them if they want to be rich. If they say yes, they want to have more than others. You can't be rich unless someone else is poor.
I AGREE with you!! I've always thought that, how completely arrogant, parasitic, unempathetic, & conscience-less is a person who can take money from someone who extends kindness to help them and then screws them over in return!
Hi David, I agree with your knowledge, but we have to be aware that some of them are really common on other illnesses as well. I suffer from Autism and can find myself in some of your 7 points. But the motivation behind it is completely different. At the end of the day it doesn't matter what label causes bad behaviour... hurtful is hurtful. Can you make a video of Limerence? I have been in this state for months now with a narcissistic woman that is devaluating me online in an unbearable way, and the addictive urge to ’watch and to hurt back’ feels like a hard drug addiction. It's an absolute nightmare. Limerence. Greetings from the Netherlands. 🇳🇱
Thank you for your comment and I speak about limerance in the Q&A videos so please ask me anything in this week's video. Please know that its the reactions to these scenarios thats important. I know autism pretty well and I dont see that common reactions from people on the spectrum would be considered psychopathic. I have seen confusion in some people around autistic people that believe they are narcissistic but these people do not understand.
@@daviddemarsI feel like the confusion comes from the distinction between “not reacting well”, which could cover simply being flustered or disheartened or disproportionately ashamed (which something like autism or an anxiety disorder could also cause), and reacting with malice. I did notice the same thing when listening to the points, because the exact reactions that are red flags are left a little bit open to interpretation.
I just saw this video and I'm eager to ask my #1 narristic abuser these questions. And yes unfortunately this person is still in my life. I ask myself why at times but anyone who has ever dated one I'm sure y'all know the answer. However I totally handed him his ass at point. And happy to say that from then on. He is at a much safer distance. Go Empaths!!! But yeah the whole reason for writing a comment though to begin with was to share how I asked him.... At one of the break ups in da past This very question. I said " ok, look I'm noticing that I am always the problem it's always me. So I'm going to ask u a question and please be very honest. Are you seriously saying that in the "whole" four years we have been together every single problem we have ever had has been my fault? NOW WAIT BEFORE YOU ANSWER REALLY THINK ABOUT THIS. & BE CAREFUL HOW YOU ANSWER! THIS MF THOUGHT AND PRETTY QUICKLY SD "YES". 😂😂😂. I SD " ok well look since I am such the problem. Let me tell you what I'm going to do for you. I'm going to take myself out the picture." Man he started to stutter and everything back pedaling and all. But another tip anyone is to say... " I need to FEEL like you love me. I need to FEEL like you trust me. His mind boggled that time too. Because they don't actually want to have to put in the work that the relationship requires. 😂. Till this day though I'll tell him I can't believe you actually sd Yes to that question what an idiot. Oh and by the way NO WE ARE NOT TOGETHER.. I WILL NOT ALLOW MYSELF BECAUSE IF SOME ONE IS TAKING PLEASURE IN WATCHING YOU FIGHT WITH YOURSELF WHILE TRYING TO BOW TO THEIR EVERY NEED. IS SO NOT ACCEPTABLE
Omg this is crazy he canceled our date because something came up with his grandma. I wonder if he was trying to see if I have a personality disorder and he watches your videos. I just said I’d pray for her and then I have just been waiting for him to initiate texting me. I did post on my story that when a man wants you he will literally come and get you, so maybe he didn’t like that and it triggered him. He’s just been watching all my instagram stories and making no effort.
Those things you said, I am slowly clapping. What you said about average and never taking a loss or can lose to anything. Mean streaked. Absolutely and side eyes others, but on the surface she is quiet reserved and very polite. Omg my ex
I had a neighbor that was diagnosed with multiple personality disorder and a few other things….she and the other neighbors didn’t like other single mothers living in the neighborhood and would harass and stalk anyone they didn’t want there..,I saw them in action and then they turned their attention towards me….theybwent as far as having her 5 year old daughter accuse my son and me of some aweful things that thankfully were quickly dismissed…yet the cops did nothing to her about making a false report and also having her daughter tel the story and play the victim…no consequences..so the daughter started doing that to anyone that told her no….that was terrifying honestly…she destroyed that child’s life making her a tool like that…and that kid liked hanging out with us…her mother was always too busy being a lunatic to pay attention to her child so when the kid saw how much attention she got for making these claims…she became a monster
They cant stand when they are in the presence of someone who remains so calm even through provocations.
Yes!
Yes it makes them attack you more, because that's their game! Ghosting the best option if possible. Then you can get the law involved when they stalk.
Lol! Think so huh! Oh you are so wrong
You seem nice to know 😂😂😮@@joshmomyer6774
One thing i noticed in my 68 yrs (being a Narc Magnet) experience.... they can really well fake/mimic other people's emotional words and expressions but they can never HIDE their OWN emotions. You just have to watch their facial expressions and body language. It is written all over them.
You`re totally right, i started to observe and it`s almost like tatooed in their faces, those evil intentions
Yeah it is creepy neverthelees
The anger or eye rolling or emptiness in their eyes- you can see it just observe theirs face.
I never want to be around people who will do wrong for advantages. They are evil to me.
And yet you’ve never met one and you already consider them evil.
@@Fuckpeople999 Gaslighting much?
@@rosiemcking72 ŁÊÞŚ ǍŁĻ ŁŒVÊ ŸÆĦŴĚĦ
@@Fuckpeople999narcissist 😂
people at the top do it, sometimes you gotta do some wrong to get ahead! THE SYSTEM is about making money, so just do the wrong things "legally" maybe some grey areas in between (;
Stability, agreeability, consistency, maturity, calmness, flexibility and humility.
Thats it!
"Stop giving people the benefit of the doubt!" I believe I'll write that on a 3x5 card and put it on the mirror in the bathroom.
Advice I wish I'd gotten 50 years ago.
Me too
Same
I write with dry erase on my mirror❣️
I would say that we can give people the benefit of the doubt BUT you need to weigh all the possible negative intentions of whomever you are interacting with on the other. It does a really weird thing to manipulators when they consciously pick up on the fact that you are trying to view them in a positive light and you somehow (in their mind) inexplicably stay a step ahead of them and their weird and honestly inefficient games.
Sometimes they just up and leave you alone but some other times they get curious and before they know it you are what appears to them from their perspective reading their mind (when it's just risk management and emotional self discipline) and you find yourself pretty much holding their hand and walking them down a path that they never thought existed.
I'm not saying it's curing anyone at all, in fact it's the opposite. You are really sort of hacking their ego in a way and they stop trying to delude you and they start deluding themselves.
Obviously that's not a safe endeavor but it's definitely food for thought before your next trip to the car dealership or you hire a contractor who's trying to pull a fast one on you.
Manipulators play games but a truly free individual plays life and knows that none of it is a game, it's more like a boxing match with real and immediate consequences.
This guy knows exactly what hes talking about,listen close folks cause this could save you one day.
Thank you!
If I could mandate one change in the world, I would make the study of personality disorders, like narcissism, sociopathy and psychopathy a requirement from 8th grade through high school graduation.
If everyone knew this stuff, what it is, how to recognize it, how to handle people who exhibit these patterns of behavior, the world really would be a better place.
Oh, and a "brain scan helmet" to check the responses in the brain to various stimuli
Absolutely! I can't believe the level of ignorance on this subject, even amongst therapists and the social care profession. People seem to think psychopaths are just serial killers and Narcissists are a bit arrogant and like taking selfies! In my experience you can feel toxic people in your gut and you may be nervous or confused around them. The worst I've met give me butterflies in my stomach - fight or flight response, but in a romantic context you can mistake it for attraction.
The thing I value 100% more than anything is authenticity
I rarely ever find people who are authentic, can't even remember the last time I did
Maybe you're not taking the time for someon to show their authenticity and maybe you're only giving toxic people your time?
@@daviddemars see that would involve me compromising on my boundaries.
I'm not giving people the benefits of the doubt anymore it's only got me in shitty situations.
I can't speak for everybody but I feel like most of us who've been through this especially if it's been family since you were a young kid, you're very hyper aware of authenticity.
I love your videos though
These people are EVERYWHERE are you kidding me they just dont get diagnosed because they are soo perfect
I honestly believe they're over 50%
I truly believe that these people of all kind of emotionless Personality Disorders are the majority. We empaths are the minority. The statistical numbers should be reversed....
Huge paradigm shift happening.
@@nicholecornes1915 I truly believe that we "normal/empaths" are the minority. These predators are outnumbering us. 😢
They don't get diagnosed because you'll never see one in therapy. Plus they're good at fooling mental health professionals.
Another point that needs to be added. Ask them to COMPROMISE and watch their reaction😂✅
Lol 😂
learned that the hard way. during a heated debate, i told my ex “we’ll just have to agree to disagree. this isn’t a productive conversation and i don’t want to keep arguing.” that was the day i learned just how deep their need for both being RIGHT, and getting their way really goes.
let me guess..violence ?@@itsaustinreal_
Thats right, relationships require some compromise to make it work but the only person compromising will be you and it will be who you are that you compromise to keep these people in your life.
@@itsaustinreal_wow, could not even agree to disagree 😳
They say "It's not about making mistakes, it's about making decisions". This speaks volumes. Hi from the Alps.
Good one!
thank you so much! From Instructor to Instructor :)@@daviddemars
The number of personality disordered people seems to be increasing exponentially. I try not to even think about how many children there are, currently being converted into future narcissists, psychopaths and sociopaths. Very disturbing.
agreed. I believe that social media & the internet have somehow thrown fuel on the fire of mental illness & personality disorders. 🔥
In Norwegian there is the term "arvesynd" which translates inherited sin or legacy sin, it basically is what you describe, in a biblical sense or not.
Agree 💯
Its always the lack of shame in their behaviour
Important distinction: never and I mean NEVER expose a narc psycho etc publicly for revenge. It will not go well, it could be very dangerous
Good advice
Deflection. Projection. AND absolutely no Reflection.. THANK you Coach...Stay Educated AND Dedicated everyone.. Much Love..❤❤ Edit. STOP expecting YOU. From other people.........when i exposed her i just continually said. You know AND I know
That I KNOW so....that would totally be ignored of course...i said that instead of calling someone a narcissist or Borderline Etc.....
Those are good ones to watch for, thanks Scott!
We all need more compassion and empathy David this world lacks so much of it your channel is very educational thanks for what you do here on this platform!
Thank you very much Mike.
Thank you for reminding us to love ourselves first. I know that I sometimes forget to take care of myself first due to the conditioning learned in my family. My needs being often disregarded because my father especially was always absorbed by his imaginary health issues. By neglecting our needs we become the best pray for these predators. So, being mindful of our own needs we create a protective layer against these selfish creatures.
"By neglecting our needs, we become the best prey for these predators." ❤ 💯 🎯
Thank you!! They are also extremely judgmental because of those characteristics
My new way to handle a toxic person.I agree to disthree I love this quote.They just don't know what to do with it
Hi Victoria! That's right, you must agree with them or they will never stop.
This guy knows his stuff. Everything he said is on point. People absorb his instruction. I agree to the ratio of 1 out of 10 to have the character of an antisocial personality disorder. These menaces to society impose is an epidemic and are a detriment to people and society. They are everywhere.
You are the best channel on UA-cam for learning about this subject
Thank you very much.
They are everywhere and empaths truly only make up like 1-2% of the world.
Even sociopaths have empathy my friend.
@@daviddemars oh that they do, it's just more like forced or cognitive empathy.
I am 68 yrs old and i can honestly say that i only knew 2 person (beside myself) in my life that i am "almost" sure they didn't have any of these personality disorders. I know that i am a Narc MAGNET but still i think the percentage of these people are waaaaaay much higher than we know about. That's my opinion/observation. Just saying.....
Empathy are simply what results from being raised in a toxic family or environment…people with high empathy can feel others pain and suffering or anger…but what about happiness and contentment? It’s a symptom of having to always walk on eggshells and predict what moods their care givers were in…and so on…being a kind person is what gets someone into an abusive relationship because we have never been allowed to have personal boundaries and narcs can smell that on us…they can see it in our demeanor and that’s how they pick their prey…it’s not that we are magnets for narcissistic people but rather we haven’t learned how to set healthy boundaries or even know what a safe environment is….so if someone is highly empathic…u know they’ve seen some effed up shite in their lives and they’re fully aware of what being mistreated is like….
They will create trouble and when you call them out on it they will blame you and play victim. All the while acting nice like the trouble they created didnt even happen.
Its sick
"I am not perfect but I never did anything wrong." No accountability ever. They do self reflection on some level and they are ashamed of themselves. 247 fear of being caught. Such a stressful energy to bring everywhere they go.
Fact
My exGF said to me twice that she never makes a mistake in a relationship, it is always the other person.
Thats when you reply, "I must have made a mistake to date you"
@@daviddemars😂
well don’t be so critical about it, maybe she’s a narc magnet and you are the narc and not her.
some people do all the right things and get burned often.
There are even more that have narcissitic traits that go under the raidar.😢
The grandiose thing is almost hilarious because the ones I’ve had to deal with ….arent really all that attractive…they had to resort to making fun of me aging to try knocking me down to their level of self esteem….so it’s quite amusing to actually see what they’re like and then remember that they think they’re gorgeous and gods gift to humanity..I wonder where they get this idea that they’re so wonderful…when there’s only them that think this way about them…
It all seems to come down to humility, being able to surrender to a truth or reality that opposes the ego.
The Holy Word of God explains this, and everything else in humanity. Its our blueprint for life. ❤️🙏
Amen❤
Yes!
Love what you are doing here and your dedication... I have a very effective question I ask that is very effective, especially in the beginning. It's something I do not share openly because, narc's are always sharpening their respective skills with these videos and social media.. It is something I will share privately to those who really need it. Thanks David
Thank you very much!
If I could change something in the world I would want everyone to be genuine be themselves because I can see right through it every time and when I expose them they hate me forever because they know I know.
That sounds beautiful.
❤AWESOME VIDEO DAVID!!!
7 point list definitely helps weeding out the toxic people!
Thank you!❤💯
Thank you!
I kn narcs whom are calm when they create chaos .There are many empaths who have to change jobs etc bc of the inability to deal with toxicity of these environments. Failure is not an identity it takes courage to walking from failures w/out giving up hope.If u reading this this too shall pass.
Grat points, David. Although none of of them shuld be considered in isolation But what is the point of exposing them ? Knowing people, even if (what is logistically impossible), say at workplace, you exposed a toxic person 7 times showing others different evil traits, others co-workers would defend them like crazy and you would make enemies. Narcs / psychos have already have lots of enables. I saw too many seemingly good people trying to cling to and please toxic folk. Many people wouldn't know the truth even if it sat on their face.
👍👍👍
It is for your own protection.
Healing family from California! Hi David!! Thank u for sharing ur hard work that u have been working on to help us all. Thank u for helping us open our eyes❤️god bless u always
Good to see you, thank you!
Just throw me in the room. We'll be in a relationship pretty soon. I won't know what's up for about 7yrs but if I have a handler, this is a rock solid technique.
Thank you so much David. That information is so necessary. Muchas gracias
Thank you!
David ,you are so GOOD❤
Thank you Valerie!
Thanks so much! You’ve generated a very perceptive check-list here. Good luck with your work!🙏
Great video thank you 🎉❤😮
Thank you!
Thank you for your videos they help me cover myself better😂
Thank you!
Thank you so much for this🙏🏻❤️🩹
Hi Stephanie, good to see you and thank you too!
Its not rare at all. 😮
Ive picked up on tons of my narc coworkers walk up to me when things are pissing them off at work and outside of work,so they do admire how calm you remain under pressure although they hate to admit it.
Tell them nothing.
@@daviddemars oh I dont
I texted a narc that I deserve to be treated better, so he ghosted me and then eventually told me he ghosted me just for texting that. Then he said he wanted to be cordial and then he started accusing me of stalking him and “following him around the gym” when I was doing a workout where I had every exercise written down. He got me kicked out of the gym and blocked me. I’m happier now because he isn’t causing chaos. Then I was walking my dog and a guy asked for my number and started love bombing me and then cancelled our date and promised to reschedule, but then he acts like he’s waiting for me to text him or chase him, like I need to lower my standards.
Very good video.
I have one, pretend to be sick or get sick and when you tell them you're not well. You'll get "hope you feel better" no offer if you need anything, if you need help. Nope. If they ever cared it was only during the love bombing/hook phase.
Do you have more videos on reactive abuse? Im struggling w my response to interactions i had w toxic people. I know i was wrong. Trying to make sure i leave before ever feeling that way again
100% agree. I forgot about this doozy...
Dont pretend to be sick etc to test them. Only fake toxic people do that kind of thing.
I have videos in the Healing C-PTSD playlist that covers it. Please ask any questions about it in the Q&A video.
If you're thinking the relationship has long term potential I'd absolutely test them. @Black_Swan_Rider
Ya cause they never did test before now hurt people who hurt people so sooner text that than waste my life @@Black_Swan_Rider
Very good questions. Every single one is spot on. My narc decided to rage at 3:30 am. Woke me up just to do so. But it's my fault and I'm crazy. And he still expected me to go to work at 7. It's a crazy world out there. Protect yourselves.
THANK YOU Im 56 and met my "first" covert NARC 3yrs ago which led me to recognize that my mom is a low grade Narc because i read after the first. HEARTACHE Im the youngest of 4 and i am just now seeing my siblings probly know. This is in process now. The Lord is putting me through the fire . Amen
If you publish these 7 things in a book, you'll make a lot of money.
Thank you!
Yeah!!!!! Do so plz ❤❤❤
I think the statics says all the 9 personality disorders are 15% but I doubt that
Yeah I don't support that either.
Many Therapists and Psychologists and Professors and people with UA-cam channels fall into these 3 categories.....
What a guy! What a video thank you ❤
Good list! ❤
They will expose themselves especially when they get older
They get worse as they get older and cause more chaos
Wow you are bang on there so true thank you
My ex used to joke: "yeah, I thought I was wrong once....I was just mistaken."
True, very good thank you❤
Good video ! Thank you. God bless you. ✝️
Thanks for your videos ! I'd like to know something sir, if we've someone in our surrounding that may be a sociopath (without a real diagnosis) but we only talk by messages, is it dangerous for us (Mental health, security...)
Yes it can still be dangerous. I have helped people that have had PTSD in a relationship where the two never even met in person.
Be as independent as possible. Know about manipulation tactics and dont fall for them. Sit back and pay attention while they expose themselves. :)
Asking questions about their behaviour should help.
As a single mom, anyone who mistreats my son…nope! Anyone who criticizes my son especially in our own home where he’s supposed to feel safe …they’ll find themselves flying out the front door! And a narcissist/sociopath can’t help but to criticize and insult anyone their victim loves and is close to…I had to give the look of do it and ur done! To the last sociopath that came around when he started to critique my 10 year old son…started insulting me as a mother and then started to try belittling my son for the way he played a video game…all I had to say is watch it! I really really really like that one and nobody talks shite about him around me…I will take ur damned face off! Understand!!? He got the point!
Went bike riding and he ran over a child and didn’t even look back, I cound not believe my eyes
The small child was on the sidewalk crying, I stopped and comforted him
Went NC after that
Is this person a PSYCHOPATH
Good for you!
Just in the first few minutes talking about how common they are is also telling that these psychos are also in the justice system, government organizations such as the civil rights division and EEOC, law enforcement especially, your average court clerk and DMV clerk and in positions such as judges where we seek help and justice from these damages like abusive employers. They are all over the workplace in all industries.
And they continuously victimize people for being the victims of narcissistic abuse…and then they say why didn’t u call the police or why didn’t u leave sooner? And go where? And because the police don’t want to deal with it and will tell the victim to leave and that there’s nothing they can do…I had a cps worker tell me I deserved getting beat up by the individual that had just beaten me up for a few hours and even went as far as biting me all over my body,,,because I refused to be his hoe…I refused to play into his bs games and so he thought he was going to make me…the cps worker told me that this is all my fault and that I deserved what happened to me…and then proceeded to tell my 10 year old son what happened when I didn’t want him knowing…
Correct thank you. I could spot them a mile away by their behavior and the repeat pattern like hamster wheel. I wish those predators leave me alone.
Thank you!
Amen brother 🙏, in order for someone to grow and mature , they need to change bad habits for the good, but not change to impress or decieve the other person or persons..
But Satan who is dark are in these types of people, praise God for opening my eyes and self reflect, on what my mind was deceiving me with. When my ex husband and flying monkeys family dynamics, was doing to me. It was leading me into darkness.. they were offended by my kindness and Loving behaviours, that I was judged, mocked, critically devalued as part of their family. I started saying no to everything they wanted me to agree with, that's when their masks fell off, they showed their true selves, i ran like i never ran before and will never look back 🙏🙂
And
Brave of you stay strong in TMH ❤❤❤
Can they communicate and solve an issue when they are the perpetrator. Confront them and tell them they did something to hurt you and you want to k kw how they could do something like that to you.
If they're a narcissist, they'll either stonewall you and get up and leave, they'll ignore you and keep watching TV or their phone, or they'll give you the silent treatment.
You might also ask "Have you been cheating on me?". They might immediately DARVO. DARVO stands for Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim Offender.
So with the cheating question they may say "How dare you insult me in such a way. What about the girl in the restaurant 15 years ago that you said you would tip her well for good service? You cheated on me with her.
It's all about putting you on the defensive so you have to explain yourself and it gets them out of the question. After a while, most people will stop asking the narcissist anything out of fear if their reaction.
They give you the silent treatment when you call them out,especially if it's in the presence of their peers. It's another form of emotional abuse and why IMMATURITY, THATS WHY.
Its insidious.
They don’t like change at all. They don’t like us telling them no either. No patience. Married to one 24 years. I am learning. Learned to control my emotions so not used against me. We agree to disagree on things happening in our world. I have changed spiritually for past 4 years cause I’m 2020 I got 20/20 vision. He doesn’t like my change. Thank you for truth. He is playing victim now. ❤to all
My ex, also my artist manager in the music industry a covert malignant narcissist with BPD/Sadism. He blew up my cell while I was getting a root canal. I didn’t text or call fast enough of course he can wait days, weeks, months, or years. My dentist was like WTF. I knew who it was. So the texts turned nasty Did you block me? How immature! I might cut your contract! Nice being under one at a cult like label he ran. I texted, I was getting a root canal. I apologize I was mistaken he texted.
Clingy, demanding and controlling are dangerous signs.
@@daviddemars I think he’s the most dangerous type & probably is still cyberstalking me.
Thanks.
Thank you Peter!
1. Replaces you fast
2. Cant accept no
3. Bullies
4. The copycat, droppleganger destiny stealer
5. The copycats
6. Needs validation
7.use material
8. Loves to cheat
You have a powerful aura
My gosh you see it too?!! Last couple of years I thought something was wrong with my eyes. Only started happening since my awakening. This chaps aura is beaming bright white. Some pictures and videos of people against a white background I’ve seen over the last few years, have had that black/grey thin aura. Scary siht.
This chaps soul is pure & he is on our side.
@@Groundwater24 there is no side when we’re all divine. Yes, I see white too and it’s so strong it looks almost like it’s a trailing effect. Thanks for the confirmation MotherGodemotional empath6 (ground=earth=Mother God, water=emotion, intuition, 2+4=6, 6=caring, nurturing,empathic)♾💚
You must have it to see it!
Mmm.... I dont know if it's safe yall. Yes their eyes omg
Thank you for sharing!
very usefull educational method ...and i think when narcissists get exposed will continue the abusive cycle to cover themselves in a way
You can hear the Disingenuity in their Verbal Intonation
It's gotta be much higher than that; human beings are diabolical.
I appreciate this very, very good, and knowing insight. My only pause with the discernment technique you offer, is that, it requires engaging with one.
And i dont say that to be cute one bit.
Plot Twist: He is a Psychopath
You sent this to me,,,,goodbye to you,,stay away from me
I can give you the REAL way to find out. Ask them if they want to be rich. If they say yes, they want to have more than others. You can't be rich unless someone else is poor.
I agree totaly and like to say Thank you
Or owning you money
I AGREE with you!! I've always thought that, how completely arrogant, parasitic, unempathetic, & conscience-less is a person who can take money from someone who extends kindness to help them and then screws them over in return!
They do not honor financial obligations.
@@daviddemarsIs it worth suing them? I'm currently in a lawsuit now with my ex...
They are like MRSA in human form.
Funny but true!
That makes sense. 10 percent very good, 10 very bad and the rest is average. Paretto Principle that applies to most things.
Good video. Thanks.
Hi David,
I agree with your knowledge, but we have to be aware that some of them are really common on other illnesses as well. I suffer from Autism and can find myself in some of your 7 points.
But the motivation behind it is completely different.
At the end of the day it doesn't matter what label causes bad behaviour... hurtful is hurtful.
Can you make a video of Limerence? I have been in this state for months now with a narcissistic woman that is devaluating me online in an unbearable way, and the addictive urge to ’watch and to hurt back’ feels like a hard drug addiction.
It's an absolute nightmare.
Limerence.
Greetings from the Netherlands. 🇳🇱
Thank you for your comment and I speak about limerance in the Q&A videos so please ask me anything in this week's video.
Please know that its the reactions to these scenarios thats important. I know autism pretty well and I dont see that common reactions from people on the spectrum would be considered psychopathic. I have seen confusion in some people around autistic people that believe they are narcissistic but these people do not understand.
@@daviddemars Thank you kindly. ☺️
@@daviddemarsI feel like the confusion comes from the distinction between “not reacting well”, which could cover simply being flustered or disheartened or disproportionately ashamed (which something like autism or an anxiety disorder could also cause), and reacting with malice. I did notice the same thing when listening to the points, because the exact reactions that are red flags are left a little bit open to interpretation.
I'm psychopath with no feeling and NO MERCY 😁😎
My favorite ENFJ
I just saw this video and I'm eager to ask my #1 narristic abuser these questions. And yes unfortunately this person is still in my life. I ask myself why at times but anyone who has ever dated one I'm sure y'all know the answer. However I totally handed him his ass at point. And happy to say that from then on. He is at a much safer distance. Go Empaths!!! But yeah the whole reason for writing a comment though to begin with was to share how I asked him.... At one of the break ups in da past This very question. I said " ok, look I'm noticing that I am always the problem it's always me. So I'm going to ask u a question and please be very honest. Are you seriously saying that in the "whole" four years we have been together every single problem we have ever had has been my fault? NOW WAIT BEFORE YOU ANSWER REALLY THINK ABOUT THIS. & BE CAREFUL HOW YOU ANSWER! THIS MF THOUGHT AND PRETTY QUICKLY SD "YES". 😂😂😂. I SD " ok well look since I am such the problem. Let me tell you what I'm going to do for you. I'm going to take myself out the picture." Man he started to stutter and everything back pedaling and all. But another tip anyone is to say... " I need to FEEL like you love me. I need to FEEL like you trust me. His mind boggled that time too. Because they don't actually want to have to put in the work that the relationship requires. 😂. Till this day though I'll tell him I can't believe you actually sd Yes to that question what an idiot. Oh and by the way NO WE ARE NOT TOGETHER.. I WILL NOT ALLOW MYSELF BECAUSE IF SOME ONE IS TAKING PLEASURE IN WATCHING YOU FIGHT WITH YOURSELF WHILE TRYING TO BOW TO THEIR EVERY NEED. IS SO NOT ACCEPTABLE
Could this apply to borderlines with narcissistic tendencies?
Threse behaviors definitively overlap.
Omg this is crazy he canceled our date because something came up with his grandma. I wonder if he was trying to see if I have a personality disorder and he watches your videos. I just said I’d pray for her and then I have just been waiting for him to initiate texting me. I did post on my story that when a man wants you he will literally come and get you, so maybe he didn’t like that and it triggered him. He’s just been watching all my instagram stories and making no effort.
@@BrookT Be very aware of how he makes you feel and communicate effectively and put yourself first, always.
@@daviddemars thank you
Oh it’s a problem.
The comment section explains better than the video XD
💯 ❤🎉
Those things you said, I am slowly clapping. What you said about average and never taking a loss or can lose to anything. Mean streaked. Absolutely and side eyes others, but on the surface she is quiet reserved and very polite. Omg my ex
In conclusion,all negative people only will loss forever and ever,Aamiin Ya Robbal Alamiin
One could say that seeing such high numbers of narcissists everywhere is a somewhat narcissistic trait in itself.
I feel like I was a narcissist when I was 13-18 years old.
What if you see that in the 5-year-old little girl? Maybe she bangs her head and tells everybody. You did
She would need help.
I had a neighbor that was diagnosed with multiple personality disorder and a few other things….she and the other neighbors didn’t like other single mothers living in the neighborhood and would harass and stalk anyone they didn’t want there..,I saw them in action and then they turned their attention towards me….theybwent as far as having her 5 year old daughter accuse my son and me of some aweful things that thankfully were quickly dismissed…yet the cops did nothing to her about making a false report and also having her daughter tel the story and play the victim…no consequences..so the daughter started doing that to anyone that told her no….that was terrifying honestly…she destroyed that child’s life making her a tool like that…and that kid liked hanging out with us…her mother was always too busy being a lunatic to pay attention to her child so when the kid saw how much attention she got for making these claims…she became a monster