How to Train a Russian Tank Crew

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  • Опубліковано 14 січ 2025

КОМЕНТАРІ • 1,8 тис.

  • @SquireComedy
    @SquireComedy  4 місяці тому +678

    The Squire army doesn't have any tanks, so you can't join as tank crew yet. But, if it keeps growing maybe oneday we'll get that Cromwell. Have a look at our website below, and prepare for some more very tanky videos coming soon.
    www.squire.army

    • @GunnerHeatFire
      @GunnerHeatFire 4 місяці тому +8

      Well, you have to have cardboard tanks, no?

    • @brianv1988
      @brianv1988 4 місяці тому +15

      You got to keep making the Russian military Trolling Videos they are hilarious and accurate

    • @Edvard-f5f
      @Edvard-f5f 4 місяці тому +3

      Ok, i am considering to join, tell me, whats the squire army about?

    • @trisser39
      @trisser39 4 місяці тому +2

      ​@@Edvard-f5fi served in the squire army as a private and all we did was squiring around

    • @Malcio
      @Malcio 4 місяці тому +1

      Also squire this month is 80th anniversary of Operation Market Garden

  • @Bader1940
    @Bader1940 4 місяці тому +1160

    "Concerned that my dog might have ingested a legal document, I rushed to the nearest available veterinary practice, 950kms away in Kazakhstan."
    LOL! love those letters. Brilliant stuff gents :)

    • @SimpleHuman-ug8fk
      @SimpleHuman-ug8fk 4 місяці тому +6

      But in Russia there are no problems with veterinary and clinics. Another thing is that it is expensive

    • @xeon39688
      @xeon39688 4 місяці тому +52

      ​@@SimpleHuman-ug8fkyeah it's expensive so he ran away to Kazakhstan to find cheap one

    • @Pao234_
      @Pao234_ 4 місяці тому

      ​@@xeon39688 He wasn't really looking for a veterinary clinic though

    • @feliceabbondante5183
      @feliceabbondante5183 4 місяці тому +2

      @@SimpleHuman-ug8fk e

    • @jenji6658
      @jenji6658 4 місяці тому +3

      Mind you, that was probably not even a lie. They caught him because they knew a russian couldnt afford to.

  • @looseygoosey25
    @looseygoosey25 4 місяці тому +1965

    "I've seen some go as high as 200M, straight up."
    xD

    • @backstabingpike
      @backstabingpike 4 місяці тому +60

      😂😂😂 talk about passing with flying colors

    • @BackyardDogPark9862
      @BackyardDogPark9862 4 місяці тому +42

      Russian armored space program excels at altitudes between 0 and 200 meters! Still working on that last 500 kilometers...

    • @feliceabbondante5183
      @feliceabbondante5183 4 місяці тому +4

      @@looseygoosey25 e

    • @brunozeigerts6379
      @brunozeigerts6379 4 місяці тому +3

      Glad I wasn't drinking my coffee at that point.

    • @podemosurss8316
      @podemosurss8316 4 місяці тому +2

      Or, as we say in Spain, a Carrero Blanco career.

  • @joelellis7035
    @joelellis7035 4 місяці тому +309

    "High ranking Russian official falls out of window", "Russia gains new submarine after strike" 😆

  • @AnimarchyHistory
    @AnimarchyHistory 4 місяці тому +598

    That field reporter sounds rather talented.
    Vladimir Kantelliflyinich.. he’s on his way to a Pulitzer I reckon!

    • @DellaTramp
      @DellaTramp 4 місяці тому +11

      I didn't expect to see you here

    • @5t3v0esque
      @5t3v0esque 4 місяці тому +21

      As soon as I heard I was like "woah it's animarchy!"

    • @martijnvangelder1902
      @martijnvangelder1902 4 місяці тому +9

      You did a rather splendid job, dear Marchy. When are we gonna get the rest of the disastrous Soviet Aviation Industry?

    • @JohnDoe-ut7cq
      @JohnDoe-ut7cq 4 місяці тому +5

      Oh thank god it was you I thought I was being racist against Australians. Good luck out there.

    • @jay_Jalapeno
      @jay_Jalapeno 4 місяці тому +2

      honestly thought it was you and started searching the comments

  • @quno5174
    @quno5174 4 місяці тому +810

    “It’s not an Iraqi wedding” got me laughing

    • @migmit
      @migmit 4 місяці тому +13

      Chechen wedding would probably fit better.

    • @veganlion8662
      @veganlion8662 4 місяці тому +1

      Reminded me of the Harry Enfield and Paul Whitehouse sketches

    • @Eledore
      @Eledore 4 місяці тому +5

      I nearly suffocated over my dinner with that one..

    • @A_Haunted_Pancake
      @A_Haunted_Pancake 3 місяці тому

      @@migmit 'Afghan wedding' would have been the most inclusive.

  • @DeltaXK144
    @DeltaXK144 4 місяці тому +1400

    “How do you train a Russian tank crew?”
    That’s the neat part, you don’t.

    • @SquireComedy
      @SquireComedy  4 місяці тому +323

      In this 12 minute video, you'll learn everything you'll need on the frontline.

    • @Utmanarn
      @Utmanarn 4 місяці тому +74

      @@SquireComedy So you're telling me that I am now ready to join the glorious Russian army as a tanker? Amazing! Can't be any harder than driving a car, right?

    • @rhabeldibabeldi6812
      @rhabeldibabeldi6812 4 місяці тому +35

      @@Utmanarn basically the same

    • @SuperDrake85
      @SuperDrake85 4 місяці тому +26

      The neat part is the vodka served. Its served neat.

    • @danielmcelhatton1724
      @danielmcelhatton1724 4 місяці тому +31

      In Russia, tank trains you!

  • @FloorItDuh
    @FloorItDuh 4 місяці тому +1557

    You captured the RT format style perfectly and it's a shame seemingly nobody else has noticed.

    • @SquireComedy
      @SquireComedy  4 місяці тому +533

      I watched hours of RT for this video.
      Their analytics guy's probably really excited about the mega month they've had from English viewership.

    • @5t3v0esque
      @5t3v0esque 4 місяці тому +88

      ​@SquireComedy probably hoping that the monetization makes up for the 10 million they just lost on tenet

    • @Gman240
      @Gman240 4 місяці тому +70

      ​@@SquireComedy I'm so sorry that you had to endure this.

    • @feliceabbondante5183
      @feliceabbondante5183 4 місяці тому +5

      ​@@SquireComedyConflict-related deaths in Ukraine from 2014 to 2021OHCHR estimates that between 14,200 and 14,400 people, including civilians and military personnel, were killed in relation to that conflict from April 14, 2014, to December 31, 2021. Of them, at least 3,400 were civilians.
      There you go Hope this helps.

    • @feliceabbondante5183
      @feliceabbondante5183 4 місяці тому +4

      ​@@SquireComedynow i love your Channel and the work your team puts, i actually though of not tackling the politically but i think that at least i should give some data on what the “other side does”.
      Well you know other than banning elections ,polls,opposition,free speech, freedom of movement and life , illegalizing the russian language i think 6 years ago...
      And least in importance banning small associations like the “orthodox church”.
      Would be a pity if there were orthodox in ukraine ...

  • @rodchallis8031
    @rodchallis8031 4 місяці тому +398

    I stole this and regretfully forgot the source: "Every chapter of Russian history ends with '...and then things got worse...' "

    • @AnimarchyHistory
      @AnimarchyHistory 4 місяці тому +61

      That would be Drachinifel

    • @rodchallis8031
      @rodchallis8031 4 місяці тому +25

      @@AnimarchyHistory Thanks!

    • @astartesfanboy5294
      @astartesfanboy5294 4 місяці тому +4

      @@AnimarchyHistorygod his videos on the Russian navy are just depressing.

    • @Eyclonus
      @Eyclonus 4 місяці тому +2

      Every history textbook that mentions the existence of Russia?

    • @isaacbrown4506
      @isaacbrown4506 4 місяці тому +2

      BlueJay's narration of the Russo-Japanese war was hilarious. I'd definitely check it out

  • @Masada1911
    @Masada1911 4 місяці тому +148

    I was thinking about donating this because I wanted to make dealing with the inevitable horde of angry Russian bots a bit more pleasant. But then I figured they may just make you laugh? Either way, here you go mate!

    • @feliceabbondante5183
      @feliceabbondante5183 4 місяці тому

      @@Masada1911 could you remind me Who the Hero of ukraine Is ?

    • @Hand-to-handWombatCombat
      @Hand-to-handWombatCombat 4 місяці тому

      ​@@feliceabbondante5183 probably not the russians considering all the dead civilians

    • @AndrewEreira-mv1ft
      @AndrewEreira-mv1ft 4 місяці тому +11

      😂😂 Russian bot here
      i applaud your humor

    • @feliceabbondante5183
      @feliceabbondante5183 4 місяці тому

      @@AndrewEreira-mv1ft again. Thanks so what do you think of Stepan bandera

    • @charlethemagne5466
      @charlethemagne5466 4 місяці тому +10

      @@feliceabbondante5183 Remind me how many Ukrainians died in Holodomor.

  • @gregmita
    @gregmita 4 місяці тому +80

    Russian tank crew jokes never get old, just like Russian tank crews.

  • @unsuisseegare1291
    @unsuisseegare1291 4 місяці тому +2513

    I like how squire has better equipement for a comedy video than the russians troops have for an actual war

    • @perfectcell1157
      @perfectcell1157 4 місяці тому +119

      ironic considering the one who has a lack of man power and equipment is ukr
      but alright whatever helps you sleep at night bud

    • @nedreow3722
      @nedreow3722 4 місяці тому +345

      @@perfectcell1157 Right you are, even with so little western support support they are already beating Ruzzia. We should really step up support to end the war as soon as possible!

    • @joshuajackson472
      @joshuajackson472 4 місяці тому +20

      Meh, I enjoyed the cardboard props more. Channels like this, I start to lose interest when the production value gets too high. I enjoy the absurdity of cheap handmade props. As a result, I watch a lot less on this channel than I used to, but to each their own

    • @ramonmartinsoto3717
      @ramonmartinsoto3717 4 місяці тому +30

      @@nedreow3722 lmao you are gonna be in for such a rude awakening

    • @FLTNUR
      @FLTNUR 4 місяці тому +149

      ​​@@ramonmartinsoto3717Oh yeah, the "rude awakening" is that Russia will whine once more about how they'll use nukes if the west keeps supplying Ukraine.

  • @fishman501
    @fishman501 4 місяці тому +537

    This is highly unrealistic
    The Imperial Russian Army would never have a T-55 in such good condition

    • @Surya_AI_Gaming
      @Surya_AI_Gaming 4 місяці тому +20

      There is no Empire left to host an *Imperial* army lol, now they only have a volunteer army supported with PMCs

    • @fishman501
      @fishman501 4 місяці тому +55

      @@Surya_AI_Gaming I said it as a joke, since there is little difference between the Russian Empire, the Soviet Union and the Russian Federation

    • @Surya_AI_Gaming
      @Surya_AI_Gaming 4 місяці тому +6

      Yeah, you're right I was joking too

    • @fishman501
      @fishman501 4 місяці тому +33

      @@Surya_AI_Gaming To be fair Russia itself is a joke

    • @Lonovavir
      @Lonovavir 4 місяці тому +7

      And a 3 day training program!!!! 2 days is adequate.

  • @devastater97
    @devastater97 4 місяці тому +87

    Can't believe Russia's risking such vital information just casually being uploaded to the internet, clearly some form of advanced strategy.

    • @kikidevine694
      @kikidevine694 4 місяці тому +12

      They remain master strategists

    • @BloodyCrow__
      @BloodyCrow__ 4 місяці тому +10

      Any second now they will send their real forces! Any second now...

    • @El_Hornio_II
      @El_Hornio_II 3 місяці тому +4

      @@BloodyCrow__ See!? TACTICS! No wait, that's a shitbox van driving straight into enemy fire

  • @quietdignityandgrace
    @quietdignityandgrace 4 місяці тому +379

    A pair of F-16s that are training here in Iowa just screamed overhead as they were landing. Guess I'll have to watch this all over again.

    • @quietdignityandgrace
      @quietdignityandgrace 4 місяці тому +61

      And here comes the second pair. That's going to really boost your algorithms.

    • @SquireComedy
      @SquireComedy  4 місяці тому +104

      Free airshow? Damn!

    • @quietdignityandgrace
      @quietdignityandgrace 4 місяці тому +10

      @@SquireComedy I understand if you delete the link, just wanted YOU to see I wasn't making it up. Did you copy paste it first?

    • @Boric78
      @Boric78 4 місяці тому +31

      @@SquireComedy Your showing the British in you. We see four fighter jets and think its an Air show. He's American. He sees four fighter jets and rings his Congressman to complain about where the rest are and why they aren't all Fifth Generation.

    • @porkcracklins630
      @porkcracklins630 4 місяці тому +12

      @@SquireComedy In the US its called "living next to an Air Force Base."

  • @GunnerHeatFire
    @GunnerHeatFire 4 місяці тому +249

    “How to train a russian tank crew”
    Give vodka, give tanker hat, profit.

    • @RC-nq7mg
      @RC-nq7mg 4 місяці тому +10

      HET! Give potato! Make vodka on own!

  • @The.Smiggle
    @The.Smiggle 4 місяці тому +57

    Serious point: it’s great seeing you guys doing some contemporary content that’s just as great as your more historical stuff - but the message is even more powerful. Brilliant stuff, always good to see that creators are fine to do stuff like this.

  • @lcpltpow5870
    @lcpltpow5870 4 місяці тому +242

    After seeing old Russian tanks in the middle east, they are definitely highly advanced. The second they take incoming fire, the whole turret acts as an ejector seat, and there's even a self destruct to prevent capture. The main gun is also highly accurate, they can almost hit a town at nearly 100 yards away

    • @ramonmartinsoto3717
      @ramonmartinsoto3717 4 місяці тому +5

      Hey remind me again how are Western tanks doing in Ukraine?

    • @lcpltpow5870
      @lcpltpow5870 4 місяці тому +11

      ​@ramonmartinsoto3717 Fairly poorly, I imagine. Shame really, considering most European militaries only have about 5 tanks each

    • @ramonmartinsoto3717
      @ramonmartinsoto3717 4 місяці тому

      @@lcpltpow5870 Might as well, as far as Ukraine is concerned.

    • @Boric78
      @Boric78 4 місяці тому +25

      Its actually an early form of Active Protection System, only Russian electronics make Lucas Electric look like chuffing Sony.

    • @leonleeoff2216
      @leonleeoff2216 4 місяці тому +40

      ​@ramonmartinsoto3717 better than ruzzian ones! I believe the current ratio is 1,600 orc to 1 nato. I know it's hard to do research when you can't read but the internet is free! Have a good weekend mr.sunflower!

  • @Marrianne415
    @Marrianne415 4 місяці тому +109

    "In other news, the russian navy has launched a new submarine..."
    Oh? Is it a "converted" cruiser or have they decided to refit the carrier?

    • @christophseidl1532
      @christophseidl1532 4 місяці тому +3

      Launched as in it flew an entire ships length before hitting water?

  • @titanicman9329
    @titanicman9329 4 місяці тому +107

    That Strelkov mustache on squire is peak 😂

  • @wastelanddv8062
    @wastelanddv8062 4 місяці тому +73

    I’m so glad the death of Stalin so accurately portrayed the accents. Had it not been for that movie I wouldn’t know you all went that extra mile to be so authentic.

    • @MK_ULTRA420
      @MK_ULTRA420 3 місяці тому +3

      Just like the Romans!

  • @barman_ua
    @barman_ua 4 місяці тому +85

    Surprisingly good, gentlemen! Greetings from Ukraine, a country that is rich in black soil (don't ask why), which dealing with modern russian tankists since 2014.

    • @eugenefrolov1396
      @eugenefrolov1396 3 місяці тому +2

      Передавай привет ТЦК :)

    • @WarspiteDTB
      @WarspiteDTB 3 місяці тому +2

      What's happened with Avdeevka, Bakhmut, Ugledar, Mariupol and thousands smaller town and villages? Where is 50% of Ukrainian population and 25% its of territory? You are so happy because you moved to Poland or you are happy because you managed to cross river Tisa and moved to Romania? Can you name your diller for me. I want to know reasons of your happiness.

    • @AwesomeRepix
      @AwesomeRepix 3 місяці тому

      @WarspiteDTB You never heard of defence in depth have you vatnik? Well most of you misinformation bots seem to lack a basic understanding of defensive warfare.

    • @Bittertruthofall
      @Bittertruthofall 3 місяці тому +1

      ​@WarspiteDTB the real question is what happened to 600k+ Russians during the 3 day SMO?

  • @jakobmax3299
    @jakobmax3299 4 місяці тому +167

    "Vatnik Today"

    • @FakeSchrodingersCat
      @FakeSchrodingersCat 4 місяці тому +10

      He also keeps referring to it as tanky school

    • @matterhon-ua
      @matterhon-ua 4 місяці тому +6

      Pretty cool btw, considering that "vatnyk" is a Ukrainian term, Squire must've done quite a lot of research, he deserves a pat on the back

    • @KasumiRINA
      @KasumiRINA 4 місяці тому +14

      ​@@matterhon-ua It's not. Vatnik is a russian stock character made by a cartoonist who made fun of jingoists. Later the word just applied to all USSR-romanticizing regime supporters.

    • @matterhon-ua
      @matterhon-ua 4 місяці тому +9

      @@KasumiRINA Oh, interesting, didn't know that. In Ukraine the term is used to make fun of people who believe in russian propaganda, because "vata" means "cotton wool" in East Slavic languages representing what kind of material their brains are made out of

    • @limbus_patrum
      @limbus_patrum 3 місяці тому +6

      @@matterhon-ua hehe😉
      It comes from red army padded quilted winter jacket called "Vatnik" or sometimes "Fufaika" or "Kufaika".

  • @lajoyalobos2009
    @lajoyalobos2009 4 місяці тому +140

    "flying colors" 😂

    • @SquireComedy
      @SquireComedy  4 місяці тому +30

      Well...red.

    • @ducking_fonkey
      @ducking_fonkey 4 місяці тому

      ​@@SquireComedy Challenged 2 0% turret toss rate surely :D

  • @CAP198462
    @CAP198462 4 місяці тому +34

    Congratulations Mr English Squire Person.
    With this video as evidence of successful completion of your training. You are hereby appointed to the grade of Junior Lieutenant (Младший лейтенант) in the Army of the Russian Federation. You have five days to report to your new unit, 3rd Troop, 4th Battalion, 12th Guards Tank Division.

    • @Ordoscc
      @Ordoscc 4 місяці тому +2

      He's already flown to Tel Aviv!

  • @jimtalbott9535
    @jimtalbott9535 4 місяці тому +81

    1:50 - “It’s not an Iraqi wedding!”

  • @spyfan62591
    @spyfan62591 4 місяці тому +60

    0:15 I never though I'd hear Animarchys voice in a squire vid.

    • @patrickhasachannel
      @patrickhasachannel 4 місяці тому +3

      Same but it's hilarious 😂

    • @spyfan62591
      @spyfan62591 4 місяці тому

      @@patrickhasachannel no crap.

    • @cgallegos2106
      @cgallegos2106 3 місяці тому +3

      The had LazerPig in a prior vid about WWIII.

  • @raptor9740
    @raptor9740 4 місяці тому +30

    “That’s the throttle, and that way is Kiev… Good luck”🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣God I about died funniest and most true shit I’ve hear all week

  • @Oilsweatandsteel
    @Oilsweatandsteel 4 місяці тому +108

    This’ll be good

    • @SquireComedy
      @SquireComedy  4 місяці тому +68

      - Vladimir Putin, February 2022

    • @Uxlenna
      @Uxlenna 4 місяці тому +11

      @@SquireComedyyes

    • @Stringbean1138
      @Stringbean1138 4 місяці тому +2

      "Hey everyone watch this"

  • @PsiQ
    @PsiQ 4 місяці тому +173

    ah, ole patriot mr. zuddenwindowfallski

    • @oj_ow
      @oj_ow 4 місяці тому +4

      met with an _accident_

    • @134StormShadow
      @134StormShadow 4 місяці тому +1

      Also, comdrade general strangetastingteaovich

  • @matthewwiddows6319
    @matthewwiddows6319 3 місяці тому +9

    you missed: how fast to get out of a tank, how to run over your comrads, and the being chased around a field by a drone - stamina training. other than that very accurate.

  • @mcoractualcustomsreviews5266
    @mcoractualcustomsreviews5266 4 місяці тому +21

    This is almost too accurate to be satire. 😂😂😂😂😂

  • @t1t0s89
    @t1t0s89 4 місяці тому +42

    Lol. Zuddenfalloutofwindowski was quite cheeky

  • @jacky6450
    @jacky6450 3 місяці тому +7

    That bit with washing machine hits hard, when my brother was returning back home in Chernihiv region, cars packed with washing machines, microwaves, laptops were smoldering as ruzzians were trying to retreat back in 2022

  • @skazztheterrible
    @skazztheterrible 4 місяці тому +237

    Squire farming russian bot farm views 😂😂😂

    • @SquireComedy
      @SquireComedy  4 місяці тому +114

      Hey man, they've gotta come from somewhere!

    • @dimaadamov8501
      @dimaadamov8501 4 місяці тому +31

      If they are lucky, maybe Russia Today will mistake them as one of their own and fund them.

    • @AndrewEreira-mv1ft
      @AndrewEreira-mv1ft 4 місяці тому +11

      ​@@SquireComedyRussian bot here 😂
      have been watching squire for a long time 😂
      and comedy is comedy
      if its funny its usually funny because its real

    • @РоманЮщенко-ю5о
      @РоманЮщенко-ю5о 2 місяці тому

      You're fucking man. As Texas resident I say that // истек срок подписки на повышенную агрессивность, незамедлительно оплатите для дальнейшей работы.

  • @AzambujaZamian
    @AzambujaZamian 4 місяці тому +33

    When you deploy a unit at 10% training in hoi4

  • @datdude15
    @datdude15 4 місяці тому +1

    Love these videos

  • @themightyironoak
    @themightyironoak 4 місяці тому +34

    Nato/Allies: Do you train your tankers? Russia: Yes....but actually no

    • @freddekl1102
      @freddekl1102 4 місяці тому

      I've read that russians currently use small squads to push supported by one tank and 1-4 APCs and they're lucky if more than one vehicle comes back
      I wouldn't bother training people either if that's the default

    • @avadhutagita3741
      @avadhutagita3741 3 місяці тому

      Nato/Allies: Do you train your tankers?
      Russia: Yes... but actually no
      Germany: Yes... but we don't have working tanks for even one brigade.
      USA: Yes...but we need color tanks for LGBT soldiers.
      Ukraine: Yes, but we have run out of population to train

    • @fourthknower9831
      @fourthknower9831 3 місяці тому

      Ah yes, the famous multi colored US tanks. Is that really the best you can do? Surely there's an actual issue you could have latched onto.

  • @MausOfTheHouse
    @MausOfTheHouse 4 місяці тому +381

    In 2008, when Russia invaded Georgia, some Dixie Americans genuinely begun stacking arms and supplies in fear of being invaded from across the Atlantic.

    • @Commy01
      @Commy01 4 місяці тому +120

      Remember when that same group was anti-Russia? Those were the days.

    • @moxie_ST
      @moxie_ST 4 місяці тому +31

      ​@@Commy01 aaaa yes good old days of proper army and proper enemy 🎉❤

    • @VikingTeddy
      @VikingTeddy 4 місяці тому +33

      It's those city dwellers living at the coast who should be worried. Russia has ramped up their submarine production to an unbelievable scale!

    • @rhabeldibabeldi6812
      @rhabeldibabeldi6812 4 місяці тому +54

      @@VikingTeddy you mean they got more than 2? 😳

    • @Carolina_Luke
      @Carolina_Luke 4 місяці тому +23

      I live in what they call "Dixie" and no one thought that. Stop saying silly things for likes.

  • @notthething9531
    @notthething9531 4 місяці тому +42

    Don’t be silly, why would a tank crew need a train?

    • @Commy01
      @Commy01 4 місяці тому +12

      To carry the vast quantities of high quality North Korean ammunition, obviously.

  • @SquireComedy
    @SquireComedy  4 місяці тому +177

    Also, a big shout-out to our good friend Animarchy. He lent his voice for this one, so lend him your subscription. www.youtube.com/@AnimarchyHistory

    • @NotAGepard
      @NotAGepard 4 місяці тому +10

      It took way too long to realize why that Aussie voice sounded familiar.

  • @Anderson21G
    @Anderson21G 4 місяці тому +14

    As a member of NAFO I fully condone this wonderful message - this is absolute gold 😂😂

  • @NATOenthusiast
    @NATOenthusiast 4 місяці тому +117

    If it’s one thing the ruzzian bots don’t get, it’s British humour! 🇬🇧🇬🇧

    • @Surya_AI_Gaming
      @Surya_AI_Gaming 4 місяці тому +1

      British Ticktaken

    • @TheRebelAllianceAreTerrorists
      @TheRebelAllianceAreTerrorists 4 місяці тому +5

      As a Ruzzian bot I get british humour and actually find this funny

    • @NATOenthusiast
      @NATOenthusiast 4 місяці тому +6

      @@TheRebelAllianceAreTerrorists Well colour me surprised. Also I agree with your username, long live the Galactic Empire.

    • @TheRebelAllianceAreTerrorists
      @TheRebelAllianceAreTerrorists 4 місяці тому

      @@NATOenthusiast thanks 🙏 the rebel alliance are really just terrorists trying to disrupt the peace and order that the galactic empire has brought to the galaxy and yet somehow they are portrayed as the good guys

    • @DataDeleted937
      @DataDeleted937 4 місяці тому

      I love British humour

  • @sashabohdankovalchykkorcha109
    @sashabohdankovalchykkorcha109 3 місяці тому +37

    I`m from Ukraine and soldier, and i can say that all that you show is pretty similar to reality

    • @petouprchlik3072
      @petouprchlik3072 3 місяці тому

      Tú eres soldado? 🤣🤡

    • @drunkendwarf440
      @drunkendwarf440 3 місяці тому

      @@sashabohdankovalchykkorcha109 Yeah, and for both sides as I recall

    • @analsurfer
      @analsurfer 3 місяці тому

      🤡

  • @randomdeath9207
    @randomdeath9207 4 місяці тому +60

    Before i watch this i want to comment
    and say i can already tell this will be a real turret toss up of a video

  • @thomasridley8675
    @thomasridley8675 4 місяці тому +25

    Who said you can't make the short lives of Russian tank crews funny.

  • @Altis_Mig
    @Altis_Mig 3 місяці тому +13

    0:40 cant believe wheatley from portal 2 is teaching how to drive tanks.

  • @ObviouslyVickers
    @ObviouslyVickers 4 місяці тому +97

    Stop giving the Ruskies training videos! This provides way better and more effective training examples than they ever had.

    • @avadhutagita3741
      @avadhutagita3741 3 місяці тому

      Calm down, this is video from Ukrainian army training, Russian videos are so secret that it didn't get on net, lol.

    • @Nathan_Yahoo
      @Nathan_Yahoo 3 місяці тому +1

      @@avadhutagita3741 russian plans are so secret even the sarmat missle didnt know what to do during its test

    • @avadhutagita3741
      @avadhutagita3741 3 місяці тому

      @@Nathan_Yahoo But Sarmat missile is technologically complex missile, if it didn't know what to do, they'll to "talk"with Sarmat... anyway..., Historically Russians know how to "talk" with weapon.
      Another thing is that Russia taught the Iskander to deceive air defense radars using built-in warhead EW-systems, and hypersonic missiles to fly forward 1300miles and like arrows - penetrate heavy concrete shelters who cover F-16. At the same time, US is still fiddling with 20th century weapons and cannot “teach” anything more complex than ATACMS or Tomahawk to fly.
      Nor talk about the rest of countries...

  • @carlossaraiva8213
    @carlossaraiva8213 4 місяці тому +5

    That they dont even bother to pretend a russian accent makes it even funnier 😂😂😂😂

  • @Querulously
    @Querulously 4 місяці тому +33

    Use of actual up to date Russian tanks and a caged tank with Russian workmanship is inspired

  • @commandercorl1544
    @commandercorl1544 4 місяці тому +14

    10:07 demonstrating the incredible discipline of the russian army, the man calmly accepts his fate to the drone, simply saying "ohf", a russian term for "god bless the motherland".

  • @cane6074
    @cane6074 4 місяці тому +7

    0:01 "Now for something different", love the Monty Python call back!

  • @100_American_Bison
    @100_American_Bison 4 місяці тому +122

    Wait, Russia has a tank training program? Here I thought they were only doing Russian cosmonaut training by the use of their turrets flying so high into the atmosphere.

    • @SakiniCZ
      @SakiniCZ 4 місяці тому +1

      This cosmonaut training is not solely Russian, they have a cooperation with the Ukrainians - almost all tanks used by UA are the same turret throwers from Soviet times.

    • @xeon39688
      @xeon39688 4 місяці тому +1

      ​@@SakiniCZbasically all soviets including Czech moderna modification

  • @StephenReid-zb7fh
    @StephenReid-zb7fh 4 місяці тому +26

    My only complaint is I can only give a like one time 😉 top job lads

  • @Alrold
    @Alrold 3 місяці тому +6

    this is provably better that the actual training

  • @KamaPopova
    @KamaPopova 3 місяці тому +17

    As a bmp driver from a russian backed country what's funny to me is that a lot of this is more true that i think some people realize.

    • @FSUKKAZ585
      @FSUKKAZ585 2 місяці тому +1

      Bro don't get disappeared haha

  • @venonat80
    @venonat80 3 місяці тому +20

    Russian Tank driver: So this is throttle to go forward. How do you break and stop and go backwards ?
    Russian Tank trainer: Stop? Backwards? No, no you aren’t going to live long enough to know that. Good luck comrade!
    Russian Tank driver: 😐

  • @asbest6249
    @asbest6249 4 місяці тому +87

    1:29 Isn't that also a russian uniform that the POW is wearing. Not that the russians would ever shoot their own people. They would never do such a thing, right? ...ehm right? ...Blya * falls out of window *

  • @brunozeigerts6379
    @brunozeigerts6379 4 місяці тому +6

    Somewhere, a Russian officer is scoffing, 'Ridiculous! Our training isn't anywhere near that rigorous!'

    • @avadhutagita3741
      @avadhutagita3741 3 місяці тому +1

      It's ukrainian training, the Russian one is more secret.

  • @jukkab5352
    @jukkab5352 4 місяці тому +22

    If Mr bean had an army..

    • @SquireComedy
      @SquireComedy  4 місяці тому +15

      Mr Bean's holiday was actually an invasion of France.

  • @Logarithm906
    @Logarithm906 4 місяці тому +4

    Ha that was too funny. 2:38 you actually went to the effort of putting a surprisingly good, bad, cope cage on there.

  • @kikidevine694
    @kikidevine694 4 місяці тому +12

    Lifting the washing machine 😂😂😂

  • @TB-zf7we
    @TB-zf7we 4 місяці тому +23

    Epic troll of comrade Vatnik.

  • @5t3v0esque
    @5t3v0esque 4 місяці тому +33

    "Its not an iraqi wedding"
    Im ded.

  • @ferenctoka
    @ferenctoka 3 місяці тому +3

    “Who knows what heights these men will reach… I’ve seen some go 200 meters up” 😂 I’m dying laughing! 😂

  • @SuperODST1
    @SuperODST1 4 місяці тому +31

    To be fair, that IS also a US Army anti aircraft technique as well as anti drone technique. "If not equipped with SAMs fill the air wirh as much lead as possible and a jet might choke"

    • @Taistelukalkkuna
      @Taistelukalkkuna 4 місяці тому +4

      Same here in Finnish Defense Forces.

    • @olgagaming5544
      @olgagaming5544 4 місяці тому +1

      What? Bro, US is literally a pioneer in anti-drone warfare, in 2018 they recognized the problem and started developing a lot of stuff just for drones. Drones are cooked on a normal battlefield right now, they wouldnt last long in the battlefield against US like they do in Ukraine, in a few years such droness gonna be totally cooked by different wave-emiters, cheaper rockets etc. They are already very visible to the newest radars and the capability gonna improve. Partially its because they started to adapt in the mention 2018, way before the war in ukraine. That's why USA isnt as scared as them as militaries without a similar AA defense.

  • @user-xp8nq5mf9y
    @user-xp8nq5mf9y 4 місяці тому +52

    2:55 thats actually very funny. I enjoy that kind of dark humor.

  • @KataIIama
    @KataIIama 4 місяці тому +17

    No silly they would use an actual washing machine in training, they would use a big wooden box with rocks in it

    • @grzyb11
      @grzyb11 4 місяці тому +1

      Theyre too busy taking the processor out of the washing machine for their new high tech public toilet destroyer missiles

  • @Anomic-mo9ji
    @Anomic-mo9ji 4 місяці тому +6

    Squire now being charged with (specifically): Article 7, Subchapter F, Part 234, paragraphs 11-29 'AIDING AND ABETTING A FOREIGN POWER THROUGH ADVANCED TRAINING AND OR TACTICAL ADVISEMENT'
    Best of luck, lads

  • @canter1ter
    @canter1ter 3 місяці тому +2

    little known fact, Zuddenwindowfallski was actually a close friend of a great general Radiationpoisonov, who has captured a whole 100m^2 village with only 3000 casualties! Which of course couldnt have been done without Prisonertorturovich's heroic decision to abandon his squadmates and retreat to tell the artillery to level the ground

  • @SpearMaelodrans
    @SpearMaelodrans 3 місяці тому +9

    Ahaha, you make my day 😂 like from Ukrainian armed forces 🇺🇦

  • @volkraiderinsan680
    @volkraiderinsan680 4 місяці тому +2

    this series of videos about russian army is your best work in my opinion.
    love it, don't stop.
    Ivan Dodgedraftovich, Georgia

  • @DSToNe19and83
    @DSToNe19and83 4 місяці тому +10

    “Hope… I mean hop in and head west”
    Craziness

  • @bik3r230
    @bik3r230 4 місяці тому +106

    20% parody 90% truth 100% russian

    • @SquireComedy
      @SquireComedy  4 місяці тому +30

      Oh, that's a nice tag line.

  • @icelynnedeath3943
    @icelynnedeath3943 Місяць тому +1

    "No feedback at all" is really funny i think it's very hard to get a signal reception or postal service on the afterlife.😂😂😂

  • @elevenseven9540
    @elevenseven9540 4 місяці тому +7

    Ending the week on a high note with a Squire upload? I think yes

  • @attlebridge1203
    @attlebridge1203 4 місяці тому +3

    Vatnik Today. Love it!!! 😂😂😂
    The Blyat Barn was a nice touch, as were the washing machines and toilets. I thoroughly enjoyed the hell outta this. Thanks for the laughs 😂

  • @GeoScorpion
    @GeoScorpion 3 місяці тому +2

    LMAO! Always fun seeing movies with actors loading shells into tanks, artillery and ship battle guns not understanding how really heavy they are. The real soldiers may have been able to make it look easy, but most were farm boys who grew up tossing 80lb bales of hay onto truck beds with one arm. Seeing that gamer-guy pinned by the shell made me laugh.

  • @JosephGravitas
    @JosephGravitas 2 місяці тому +4

    VatnikToday, that's hilarious 😂

  • @nuclearwarheadbro2800
    @nuclearwarheadbro2800 4 місяці тому +10

    How did they get their hands on the BLAYT MOBILE!?!?!?!?!?!

  • @nero756
    @nero756 4 місяці тому +34

    can we pls talk about the family name of ivan at 0:57 ? i'm laughing my ass of right now xD

    • @Chiberia
      @Chiberia 4 місяці тому +7

      at least it was Zudden

    • @jaytm6719
      @jaytm6719 4 місяці тому

      ⁠@@Chiberia😂😂😂

    • @134StormShadow
      @134StormShadow 4 місяці тому +1

      Dontdrinktheteaski ?

  • @herbtapp3031
    @herbtapp3031 4 місяці тому +22

    "Zelensky 69" I hit the floor!!!

  • @nathanjohnwilliamson7675
    @nathanjohnwilliamson7675 4 місяці тому +10

    Only thing you missed out was teaching the Russian crews how to wash their comrades blood out before taking the now holey tank back to the front

    • @Biker_Gremling
      @Biker_Gremling 4 місяці тому +2

      Yeah, their holely tank and clothes.

    • @Ragged_Armour05
      @Ragged_Armour05 4 місяці тому

      But wont they also be killed by the turret-tossing technolgy of Soviet-Era?

  • @vladislavshevchenko634
    @vladislavshevchenko634 3 місяці тому +1

    I remember my sergeant teaching me field medicine: "the medical instructor is supposed to teach you this but he can't do it now, so here i am. I don't know #### about field medical but here's a landmine. It has a detonator as you can see, if you step onto this thing, you'll die, nobody here, myself included will be able to help you. "

  • @RubberToeYT
    @RubberToeYT 4 місяці тому +5

    Squire video being elite as always

  • @PinkBalaclavaGuy
    @PinkBalaclavaGuy 4 місяці тому +120

    Russian tanks- the second greatest armour inside Russia

    • @Boric78
      @Boric78 4 місяці тому +13

      Indeed Russians 2nd best soldiers in Russia.

    • @fledthehunter5293
      @fledthehunter5293 4 місяці тому +1

      @@Boric78 Don't you mean the third?

    • @pigeon4481
      @pigeon4481 4 місяці тому +1

      @@Boric78Oh right, because the elite Ukrainian troops have really made allot of progress after the first week in Kursk. And the Ukrainian counteroffensive was so great that the Ruzzians don’t even know that they have lost Crimea.

    • @brettlambert6123
      @brettlambert6123 4 місяці тому +2

      @@pigeon4481you’re joking right? Right!??

    • @kurousagi8155
      @kurousagi8155 4 місяці тому +1

      @@pigeon4481more progress than what Russia makes in Donestk.

  • @yo_mama6414
    @yo_mama6414 4 місяці тому +4

    The average current Russian tanker has less experience than the average Warthunder grinder

  • @Hangry_Hungarian
    @Hangry_Hungarian 4 місяці тому +6

    Not going to lie, thought I had my game of squad open because of all the sound effects lol

  • @larry648
    @larry648 4 місяці тому +11

    I wish I had the cash to travel to the UK to be in one of your videos. I could play on old, foul mouthed, cigar chomping, American Sergeant, because I was one. 😅😅

    • @Bittertruthofall
      @Bittertruthofall 3 місяці тому

      Are you the "Who said that?! Who the fuck said that?! Who's the twinkle toed communist c*cksucker who just signed his own death warrant?!" type of guy?

  • @traumateaminternational4732
    @traumateaminternational4732 3 місяці тому +2

    "Vatnik Today" is such a fantastic name for a news broadcast.

  • @cgallegos2106
    @cgallegos2106 3 місяці тому

    I think this is the most mature video I’ve ever seen you guy do…and I love it.

  • @martingerlitz1162
    @martingerlitz1162 4 місяці тому +4

    Wonderful British humour 😂! Love you guys 😂😂

  • @Despair_bloom
    @Despair_bloom 3 місяці тому

    I genuinely love this type of content

  • @klausbaummann1116
    @klausbaummann1116 4 місяці тому +3

    Love the videos you guys make!!! You guys are hilarious !!! Love the tank program.

  • @YevhenSyvokon
    @YevhenSyvokon 4 місяці тому +2

    Absolutely Historically accurate

  • @rushe1226
    @rushe1226 4 місяці тому +6

    1:05 Ivan and his trusty BT-5

  • @sebastianfreitag83
    @sebastianfreitag83 4 місяці тому +2

    Best channel ever

  • @ericcook8254
    @ericcook8254 4 місяці тому +3

    You guys nailed it hysterical 😂

  • @Jaster_Mereel
    @Jaster_Mereel 4 місяці тому +2

    Their period comedy made them iconic. This modern day setting makes them legendary.

  • @Dragonseer666
    @Dragonseer666 4 місяці тому +19

    And I thought your ''If Top Gun Maverick was a Russian film'' was a good show of how bad the Russian military was.

    • @Aredel
      @Aredel 4 місяці тому +2

      It was. Things have only gotten worse for Russia from there.

    • @tank9085
      @tank9085 4 місяці тому

      ​@Aredel Keep on coping, buddy. Ukraine's already losing in Kursk.

    • @Aredel
      @Aredel 4 місяці тому +2

      @@tank9085 okay, 2nd best army in Russia.

    • @sirboomsalot4902
      @sirboomsalot4902 4 місяці тому +2

      @@tank9085”Already”? It’s been weeks, and also THEY ARE IN FUCKING KURSK. This is not the own you think it is

    • @tank9085
      @tank9085 4 місяці тому

      @@sirboomsalot4902 Russia is allowing Ukraine to push deeper and deeper Russia has used an FAB 3000 so that does mean they are getting serious but Ukraine is falling right for Russias trap.