Divorce & Depression- Men, I'm worried for you...
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- Опубліковано 8 лют 2021
- Today I'm talking about divorce and depression. Although it may be geared towards men going through divorce and depression, please if you are feeling suicidal, seek help. You are not alone.
- suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ 1-800-273-8255
- www.sprc.org/
- afsp.org/
Sometimes it doesn’t sound so bad. Tired of going through this. Tired of the pain that won’t stop. Everyone says it gets better eventually but I don’t see it. She completely broke me
Hey Bro, hang in there. The fact that she broke you probably won't change. Right now it's important for you to put all your energy into what's best for you and efforts on your vision. Lean into your work, school, new career, health, or whatever it is that is part of your plan. You're only focus should be you. All the other stuff is out of your control. Once some time had passed, then you'll find healing. I wish there was some magic words to say, but the reality of it, is if you do what you need to, this will pass. Be well my friend.
I feel you bro 😪 hang in there .
@@nickanderkay7148 What about he financial ruin? Time and cherry pie does not fix that
I feel ya man. I’m there too.
@@dennisgallagher1729 money is replaceable. Im willing to start over financially if it means being happy again.
I’m at the beginning of this awful awful journey. And it all seems pretty f***ing insurmountable right now. I appreciate this video and the message it sends, thank you.
Sorry to hear that man. Fathers are 100% behind the 8 ball with this stuff which is why I started my channel. I have plenty of videos to help with these kinds of situations if you feel it would help you or just to share stories. Take care
I go to work every day. Im at work now. Im an electrician. Im on a 10' ladder crying and struggling day after day... its been over a year. My Wife took my 2 year old and my 4 year old from me. She just left and didn't let me talk to my kids for a week. Im hurt soo bad. If I don't have my kids I dont care anymore. Im trying so hard, for so long. My kids were my everything. Now I have Nothing. The ends so far away. And my kids and I are so hurt. Its just not fair. I've watched a couple of your videos. Thanks for being here. And im sorry about your kids too. I put on a good show when my kids are with me. But im dead inside every time they leave.
Hey I’m sorry to hear that. As I write this response it’s Thanksgiving Day in the US. I had to drop my kids off to the house I used to live, to eat a turkey I used to carve, while someone else sits at the head of the table I sat at for almost two decades. I will never get to sit at a thanksgiving dinner with my children until they’re old enough to decide on their own. Even after 3 years it’s still soul crushing. I’m gonna be alone the entire weekend. Holidays are still the source of the most pain. But it’s also less. There’s a lot of things I’m grateful for this year. I spent the day washing my truck. I GET to do what I need to fill my needs. That’s all I can control. Just put the work in on being the best you. You are not alone. All of it will work out in the end. Best to you!
@@WhiteBeardAnt you are a strong man. This all just seems so wrong. Thanks My friend. Happy Thanksgiving. I was Telling my son yesterday that its all a matter of perspective. A glass half full or half empty. Some kids don't have dads. I said, you have a Dad and you get him in your life. We need to be thankful for that... I just wish I could believe that. I try to. But its not fair either way. I feel so bad for my kids that they are going through this. The right thing is so hard!
Happy Thanksgiving.
Too a glass half full 🍻
Happy Thanksgiving to you!
Its ironic, I would trade places with you. I am divorced wiht no kids. Which means all I have to show for the years between high school and age 34 are absolutely nothing. You still have legacy that came from the relationship. You still have a reason to get up every day and fight. You have lliving extensions of your own DNA that will forever love you, and forever be greateful for you if you stay alive and stay a good parent, and stay part of their lives even if it is limited by the henious evil that is the institution of divorce. Me on the other hand? I have absolutely nothing to live for. I have a good career, but whats the point I have nobody to share the fruits of it with. What is the point of my building my own castle if I'm gonna be alone in it. And by 34, the only fish left in the sea, are just other people that gone thrown out like trash. Its all women who dumped their husbands because they were good men and not super heroes, and now they're looking for the superhero they will never find, or in the case of my wife, her thinking was so evolved she realized men were just a flawed species and she might as well date women. If I was you, I wouldn't feel hopeless. Its all about perspective. Other peoeple would love a do-over at 34. I would honestly still even 3 years later prefer to kill myself than live in this shitty world of broken dreams and empty promises where everything you fight for can be ripped away at a moments notice.
@@devastator665 hey my friend. I Hear you. And im Listening. Your a good person, thank you for the words of encouragement. I get it. Its still hard for me. My son wants to be with me always. He runs after me when I drop him off at school because I didn't hug him long enough. It kept kills me he has to grow up watching his best friend walk away for another week and say "what if I never see you again?"
It kills me brother. I kiss wish I could be here for him every day. It's my fault. Not his. But he pays the price.
Im now doing the best I can to give him the life he deserves. Trying hard every day.
As for you.
Please take time to care about yourself. You can never be a good partner if you don't believe you are worthy. Do what you need to to be happy with yourself. That's all that matters. Easier said than done.
Just start by doing something for you. Lift weights, go for walks, get a dog. You will find someone who loves you for being the best you. Try to learn from past experiences. Be self aware. If your an asshole, own it. Tell yourself it's not okay to talk to people the way you do.
Kinda just explaining me. But no one deserves to be called names or hit. Including yourself. Love yourself Brother. Reach out anytime. Hurting yourself is not an option. You have alot of good years ahead. Nothing but potential
Once i found out she wasn’t on my side, i knew i needed to get the heck out of that environment. It’s sad not being with my children, i have only been out of the house for a month, but it feels unbelievable. No one putting me down, or purposely arguing with me, verbally abusing me. Sayonara. Of course i feel bad for my children that they don’t have the better parent around, but it wouldn’t do them longterm good to constantly watch their mother emasculate their father. Hallelujah, now I can go find more caring woman to be by my side. If I can’t, I’ll roll solo.
She filed, kids are 6 and 8, i get them every other weekend and 1/2 in the summer. Fine by me. Now we get to do what i want to do when they are with me. The depression was being IN the relationship. cheer up men, one air vent closes, a garage door opens!
I’ve lost my family. We’ve been separated for 5 months but the pain is still there. I miss my little girl she’s 4 years old and I only get her on weekends now. I screwed up and lost my family
@noahoneal7476 Sorry to inform you but your little girl don’t miss you and it’s best that you try not to contact her.
It's just going to rip you apart every time you see her.
Best to cut off all contacts and just send the checks.
I just started this ordeal. I have 3 kids and was married for 20 years. I am very sad and I miss them.
I’m a divorced man and I had depression since high school but it was misdiagnosed and really bipolar, I take 90 % of the blame for my marriage falling apart
My sun rose and set with my daughter. Now she is not there. I tolerate each now purely for survival. The gnawing sadness I feel is 24/7. To disappoint her on such an unspeakable level is unbearable.
It’s 6am here in the UK, I just woke up and my hearts broken already. Every morning is like this apart from the ones I start believing I’ll get another chance at home.
I have a 3 year old and a 6 year old.
I’ve lost all meaning and feel ready to end the pain.
I hope this passes, I don’t enjoy life anymore.
Hey Ricky. Hang in there bro. The best thing you can do right now for your kids is to take care of yourself. The struggle is real and not easy at times, but it does get better. There will be a time and place to make things right with your kids as long as you put in the work and surround yourself with the right people. Stay well.
@@WhiteBeardAnt thanks mate, I’m trying my best 🙏
U ok
It’s life,
Being away from your kids is painful
I’m going abroad for 6 weeks and keep regretting how will I cope not being around my kids, knowing I’ll be back
It’s hard
Kids won’t stay kids all there life
They will know as they grow
You just need to not be stresst and look like a junky
If you need financial support to start of family court for cantact plz do reply
Them kids are missing their father too
I’m so stressed right now I don’t know what to do! I have so many different emotions. I love God .. I serve in the church. I’m not perfect but I try to treat everyone right! Have I been the perfect husband no but I try my very best. My wife walked out in our marriage we have a 14 month old baby and she’s 6 months pregnant now! She won’t talk to me. I have no closure about the relationship. Being away from my family is the worst pain I’ve felt. I’m not sure why I’ve had to go through so much in my life but a person can only take so much! Divorce has never been an option for me . I can’t think right now
I'm going through the worst period in my life. I'm losing absolutely everything, and I'm about to be taken to the cleaners when it comes to child support and alimony. I think about ending myself every ****ing day. I really don't think I'm going to, but it crosses my mind daily.
Bro hang on there. Are kids involved in this situation?
Sorry to hear that man. Fathers are 100% behind the 8 ball with this stuff which is why I started my channel. I have plenty of videos to help with these kinds of situations if you feel it would help you or just to share stories. This child support video may help in particular: ua-cam.com/video/D97CLR4pC8o/v-deo.html. Take care my friend
Been there brother, but it passes,don't let this world beat you, look to God, Look to Jesus,be there for your kids, I'm going through the same shit,and if I don't find a job I'm gonna homeless
I went through it and it was a complicated journey. I can tell you that the waves of anxiety and depression were huge. I would feel like I'm going to die all the time. But I did recognize that they were waves and I would have moments in between where I feel like there might be hope for the future. I also recognized that as is with most waves the biggest and closest together waves happen first, then the waves slowly get smaller and further apart. After time the waves dissipate altogether and are very small and very far apart. I tried to stay busy with my hobbies and engaged with my friends. I didn't want to but I felt that it was necessary. What I wanted was to curl up in a ball and hide away but I knew that wasn't going to get me anywhere except further into depression. Every once in awhile I did curl up in a ball but I tried not to stay there for too long. It's been 5 years and I'm still on my journey and I'm doing a lot better now. If you're still in this journey and maybe you're in the beginning stages I hope that you hang on. It does get better even though it seems like it won't.
First, I haven’t watched all your video but I want to say thank you very much JP from Miami. I have two kids I married well married to a 42-year-old and I’m 55 it is hard I don’t know what to say. I’m trying to deal with it thank you For your video and some of the things you said I understand sometimes your head is not there and you’re not thinking when things like that happen to you. Sorry for any misspelling. I’m talking through the computer. I hurt my fingers that’s why I can’t type. Thank you again for what you do.
Sorry to hear that man. Fathers are 100% behind the 8 ball with this stuff which is why I started my channel. I have plenty of videos to help with these kinds of situations if you feel it would help you or just to share stories. Take care
4 years later, it's still tough.
Thanks for putting this out there. I need to hear these stories sometimes. I'd add that when your kids aren't with you, you need to have a hobby and / o r fun side hustle that you can focus on and not think too much about kids... just trust that they're ok. It'll also make you a better happier father and all around person.
Thanks for sharing that. I agree, distractions are good. Be well!
I can really identify myself with this message. When I don't have my kids I worry so much about them, I worry if I'm doing an ok job as a part time dad. I go to the gym and distract myself but honestly sometimes loneliness hits us hard. Even though I'm never really alone it feels that way. Hard to explain, I didn't love her anymore but seems like I lost myself during marriage and divorce. Im not blaming all on her but it really is hard..wish all the people going through divorce or mental illness the best.
Thanks for the great video… I just recently got served divorce papers after 22 years of marriage… I’m struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts but I can’t get myself to reach out to friends and family. I don’t like to burden my loved ones with my struggles…trying to hang in there
It's ok to ask for help. You would do the same if one of your friends or family were in the same place as yourself. You don't even have to make it a big deal. Just go and spend time with them and live in that moment. Even if it's something mundane like dinner and a movie or a cup of coffee. Just surround yourself with the people that you love. Stay well my friend...
I'm going through the process. I'm super depressed and down. Imma miss my kids .
@@hereford89 hang in there bro.
Sometimes it takes a heartbreak to shake us awake & help us see we are worth so much more than we’re settling for. Please Know that God has a great plan for you and all of this will come together for you very soon. The will of God will never take you to where the grace of God will not protect you. Not all storms come to disrupt your life. Some storms are here in order to clear your path. Trust God in this process. This is all for a good reason which God has a great plan for you to be a part of. This person has been keeping your main seat on your bus occupied for this time being. However, they need to get off your bus now, because there is some down the line at one of the next bus stops who this seat is truly reserved for. They need to get off now so that you can have ample time to work on yourself and get this seat cleaned up and prepared for the one who God truly intended this seat for. Just be patient and let this play out. I promise you, great things are coming your way.
You guys need to be redpilled, I almost married a girl but I broke up her cause men make women their lives and when it ends we get devastated, make Jesus Christ the Savior your life and God will never fail you
Father i am broken 💔 please heal my life to overcome and become the person that you want me to be give me the strength and power to show you in my life amen
Been through a nasty one, 3 little kids tied up in it. You need to find something that you used to love to do. That part was easy for me. I threw myself into it and I enjoy my life again. The ex has already been divorced once again and is onto her 4th guy; engaged again. It helps that she is a complete disaster. The important part is my kids, all 5 of them love and respect me. They can't say that about their trainwreck of a mother.
Find Something you love to do and do it. Mine was woodworking, and Motorcycles. I love being back out in the woods on a bike. Peaceful.
True. After about 5 months I bought a BMW K100. Had to head up to Scotland and ride it down in the rain with only the front brake. The whole journey was alnost 24 hours. Needed that bike to feel free again 🙌 😌
Now got a zzr1100 🏍
But to be frank, best feeling is in prayer, reading quran and training.
Sometimes it takes a heartbreak to shake us awake & help us see we are worth so much more than we’re settling for. Please Know that God has a great plan for you and all of this will come together for you very soon. The will of God will never take you to where the grace of God will not protect you. Not all storms come to disrupt your life. Some storms are here in order to clear your path. Trust God in this process. This is all for a good reason which God has a great plan for you to be a part of. This person has been keeping your main seat on your bus occupied for this time being. However, they need to get off your bus now, because there is some down the line at one of the next bus stops who this seat is truly reserved for. They need to get off now so that you can have ample time to work on yourself and get this seat cleaned up and prepared for the one who God truly intended this seat for. Just be patient and let this play out. I promise you, great things are coming your way.
@@TopGun_-wow did I need this right now. Thank you!
Thank you for this video. Stay strong, brother.
Thank you. Excellent advice.
Thank you for sharing your personal story. It took courage and empathy to offer other divorced fathers help in their journey!!
My divorce is legendary..and painful I had to face my exwife in court…she was the one in trouble but it felt like it was my fault ..when judges even told me my it wasn’t…man this is painful!!!!
Sorry to hear that man. Fathers are 100% behind the 8 ball with this stuff which is why I started my channel. I have plenty of videos to help with these kinds of situations if you feel it would help you or just to share stories. Take care
Thank you for the video. It helps 👍
thank you for the talk
I’m just beginning to go through divorce after 14 years together. I don’t really understand why we’re getting divorced. I am repeating the pattern of my father now except later in life. My wife and I had such great times camping, going to church, et cetera. I know the sadness time will pass, but now I going through the storm. The married man is clearly at the disadvantage in this country as well as every other of the thirteen that were listed. I should make a self-help video as well someday. I promise I won’t end my life because it would make friends and family devastated, but it sure is the lowest point in my life. So many tears. So many times of mourning and sadness as well as loneliness. When I was with my wife We always had people over. She is much more of a people person than me. I’m weird and a dork. It’s difficult for people to stay my friend because sometimes I try too hard to find the Lord Jesus. That polarizes people. I am one of a kind for sure.
God loves you... I’m extremely sad. I know there’s a God. We’re humans. I’m sorry. I know the pain. My husband asked for a divorce and I was so blindsided. I can say I’m very sad.
@@respectmelatrina7898 Thank you. She said she can no longer tolerate me. This has been tough, but it has taught me alot. Be grateful for everyday you have your spouse. I think I was taking it all for granted. Anyway I get to see her once a week now. That may develop into more I hope in the future. She is not perfect, but I still believe she is perfect for me. God bless you. Have a lovely day! :0)
That´s the pattern. Usually the wife has more ability to gatther people around. I´m devastated since she asked for separation, we probably goin trhu divorce soon. My last birthday I was so alone, mother´s day, father´s day, christmas... Can´t imagine how I gonna get over it. So sad how people normalizes the dissolution of a family, cruel times we living in.
Wow feel understood after this video
Thank you
Thanks for this
Didn't want to be in this situation but now I am. I don't understand. I'm trying to keep my mind focused on my self but I feel like a failure and that I'm faking it till I make it
Sorry to hear that man. Fathers are 100% behind the 8 ball with this stuff which is why I started my channel. I have plenty of videos to help with these kinds of situations if you feel it would help you or just to share stories. Take care
28 yrs down the toilet and no contact with kids as I'm the bad man. Mother died a few years ago and both siblings live abroad. Have ended up looking after my dad and every day is full of pain but I can't leave him, although this is getting more difficult. As soon as he goes I will be following suit within a month. So yes to all three of your initial questions.
I’m dealing with this right now. She will always be the love of my life and her leaving me 3 days ago is unbearable
Interesting who we love the most are ones who hurt us the worst...
It’s funny how when they love u they love u but when they don’t they don’t even look back once
@@Mojojo129that’s one of the most hurtful things
Sorry to hear that man. Fathers are 100% behind the 8 ball with this stuff which is why I started my channel. I have plenty of videos to help with these kinds of situations if you feel it would help you or just to share stories. Take care
Thank you so much for this video it really helped me out I am now a divorced father to a five month old baby girl and it really kills me that I can’t be there with her every single day and also at the same time I miss my ex-wife and I hope and pray sometime in the near future that me and her can work things out and get back together
Best of luck to you on this part of your journey. Try to be the best version of yourself and continue to grow. That's all you can control. If you do the right things, the right things tend to happen. Thanks for sharing!
@@WhiteBeardAnt thank you very very much!!!!
Thanks you are the best man
Man, some of these comments are so sad. Hang in there guys.
My divorce just finalized after 10 years. I'm less than 1 month in but was kicked out of my house and the attorney cost me $23k. We have 2 kids (4 year old & 10 year old) and I feel so bad for them. My ex filed out of left field and now i'm trying to pick up the pieces living in a 2 bed apartment ( left a 1.3M house). Emotion's are all over the board but need to find something to occupy my time. Def been drinking more than usual. :(
Sorry to hear that man. Fathers are 100% behind the 8 ball with this stuff which is why I started my channel. I have plenty of videos to help with these kinds of situations if you feel it would help you or just to share stories. Take care
It was my fault. Too many things I should have been doing or not doing and although I remember having a discussion with her saying that if any one of us felt like we were close to ending it with the other we should talk, she just one day ended it.
We have an 19 month old son. Everyday just hurts. How she can just switch off her emotions to me hurts so much.
I still very much love her with all of me but she says she’s just not in love with me anymore and there’s nothing I can do about it. I feel so lost and dejected. We’ve been together for 10 years and now it’s gone just like that. I’m 45 and she’s 29. She’s still got the world to live for. I feel like I might just curl up into a ball and shrivel up.
I’ve been reading a lot of the comments and I thank you Ant for being another voice much needed to be heard by guys in our position.
Hey man how’s your situation going ? Are things better ?
Sorry to hear that man. Fathers are 100% behind the 8 ball with this stuff which is why I started my channel. I have plenty of videos to help with these kinds of situations if you feel it would help you or just to share stories. Take care
@@skoolboi_L I actually found out that she had formed an emotional and somewhat physical relationship with someone else. I actually knew that she was chatting to him and made fun of her that he was my replacement to which she denied and asked me to stop kidding around. But only for me to find out that it was actually happening. Which was pretty devastating. I would have done anything to make things right but she said she didn't feel that way about me anymore which is fair enough. You can't force someone to love you. I just wish she was honest with me and not spend her time demonizing me to her and my family rather than just say there were aspects of our relationship that made me less of a life partner prospect to her and she wanted to see someone else she had fell for..
So fickle, so trifling
Thank you
My husband is depressed and keeps leaving me, saying he wants a divorce, he drinks, and then wants me back, then breaks up, then wants back. He suffers with depression and he's never happy. And he makes it worse by drinking excessively. I'm here to listen to you bc hes depressed. He blames me for EVERYTHING. but once he's by himself for a week or two, He's miserable without me.. Idk what to do. 2.5 yrs i did this. I eventually ended up filing after his last drinking binder leaving me, asking woman to hook up, i had enough. But i do see him online posting how he's depressed. He does it to himself. He will feel an emmense hurt, come back then do it all over again.. I had enough
I’m sorry to hear this. Men do drink when they are going through problems
Really nice video. I have been married for 23 years and been depressed since 2008. Depression, and the side effects of the drugs played a big role in ruining my marriage. I have no friends. Presently, supporting my wife until she finishes her studies and then she will leave for a job, after divorce. I might be jobless as well in a few months. Saving grace is my beautiful 17 year old son who will stay with me. I hope to continue to fight and live untill my son is independent and stable. Then my job on this planet is done😀. Sorry for the long writeup.
Bro, train consistently, eat well, like paleo or keto, and most importantly, refind your purpose before time is up, because it is NOT just to raise a family, as noble a goal as that is.
Thank you 🙏🏽😔
You are so welcome! Best to you.
I am hurt bad. I doing therapy and started taking depression meds. Never in my life took depression meds..
MAY GOD BLESS YOU ALL. MAY YOU KEEP THE FAITH STRONG AND NEVER CEASE TO PRAY. GOD KNOWS.
I’m a woman I’m divorcing my husband. But he puts alcohol and women before me and his kids but then when I get ready to leave it’s always begging. I’m just sick of it I’ve asked too many times. And now he’s drinking his life away. I don’t feel bad, I’ve been alone and doing it all. So welcome to my world
I'm a woman just divorce my husband of 25 years , now X for five years, he asked for the divorce after he caused a major vehicle traffic accident, which put me in the hospital resulting in 10surgeries after surgery number 6, 7months after the initial car accident
We talked through it I thought
I had more surgeries I started to recover, was doing extremely well, and then he asked me for divorce again this time I gave it to him,
Now he sits alone in our family retirement home, drinking alcohol on a regular basis he's quit his government job and works from home isolating . During the divorce I found out before, and after the automobile accident, he was actively involved with very very young prostitutes.
It has been five years since our divorce, and he still cannot look me in the face or speak to me.
I knew he was drinking w dinner I didn't realize how much he was drinking all the time he was just really good at hiding it
This is the story of a lot of women. My marriage is ending after 21 1/2 years. Abuse and infidelity. Men say whoa is me forgetting to behave married after the wedding. 😅
You're lying.
Men have no space , we can't say anything without a whatabout..
Even after 13 years being divorced I have low level continuous depression. I’m given up on actually being a good dad. I try and I put on a good image but my ex just manipulated and fights and I’m done . I constantly wonder what my purpose was and is, why did I have kids, why did I waste my time creating a family ! Been to court every two years and mediation in between. My daughter at 15 was given to my ex during Xmas break spring break and all summers while my ex is at work. So instead of spending time with me she sits at her moms house and does nothing !
What do you mean, like she doesn’t even want to come and stay with you during breaks? I’m in the same situation, my daughter has been turned against me during this divorce and it’s so painful… my sweet little girl doesn’t even care if I exist or not it seems …
Sounds tough
@@joemoore4642 court took that time away and gave it to my Exwife. So my daughter doesn’t come over during Xmas break, spring break or summer when it’s her moms time. My ex is at work during these periods of time as well. So my daughter sits and her moms house alone. Does that make sense.
Bro hang in there man I hope you find your self ...for my self I went bak and started doin things I enjoyed as a kid heavy metal drawing. Bike riding....il pray 4 u bro .
It's very painful separate from kids.
Both of them are too young.
Even they forget my face as dad.
But I couldn't do as I'm a adult.
My wife not allow to see my kids.
I tried and tired of all kinds of methods to calm myself and failed.
Kids faces pop-up in my mind all the time.
My tears rolling out while I see someone with their kids.
I'm waiting for my day to everything passed through 😥
Same here for me man… I don’t know if I can continue this…
It's now. Been 13 years and still hurt ....but I jus learned 2 deal w it ......drugs help jus suck when I get sober ....
Bro. Think and speak positive only ☺
My 28 year old son took his life one year ago,wife wanted a divorce after only being married 2 years and pregnant. She was horrible to him. It’s so sad. And took his little princess 3 years old away sent him packing with only a few bags of clothes..
I’m sorry
I am so sorry for your loss Doreen. It breaks my heart to hear this and my deepest sympathies to you and your family. The struggle is real, and it takes so much to push through that type of hurt. Thank you for sharing this and hopefully someone reading your comment will think twice about those they leave behind and pause to ask for help. Be well!
@@WhiteBeardAnt
We need to get to them before they get to that dark tunnel, when there thinking is not rational. They believe they are a burden to others. Better to leave.
Thanks for caring.
@@WhiteBeardAnt - can we talk? I would love to share my personal story
@@doreen3763 I would love to hear your personal story as well. I feel for your son, I’m 29 yrs of age. Thoughts of a permanent solution also crossed my mind from the betrayal of my ex. It really sucks and talking about it and listening to others stories is very helpful.
Thank you so much for this! 🙏🏼💪🏼 I very much needed it. God bless you all
So Ironic. Thanks for your message but if only it were so easy. Here is why the suicide hotline is BS. (and trust me this comes from someone who used it extensively, and is just as suicidal as I was 3 years ago. Basically my whole life is just avoiding guns, high surfaces, fast vehicles ect. I have the 9X increase but other things that bring suicide up to near certainty.
S.P. Represents "Suicidal Person" in this story
Suicide Hotline - Oh your feeling Suicidal?
S.P. - Yep I want to die.
Suicide Hotline- Oh Dear, lets get you some help, I'll send an ambulance
Ambulance Driver- So you are having some bad thoughts huh?
S.P - YepI want to die.
Ambulance Drive- Alright well,Shucks, lets get you some help.
Hospital Nurse- Alright so your here because you are having some little negative self talks about wanting to hurt yourself
S.P. - Yep,I want to die.
Hospital Nurse- Alright, well were gonna fix you right up. Were gonna give you some suicide proof clothes, Its not real comfortable I'm sorry. Were gonna put you in a sterile lifeless room and observe you like a lab specimen, but don't worry its fine. Your gonna get to do some group yoga if your lucky and make all those nasty thoughts go away. Also oh.... Do you mind if I search all your belongings, and also, lets do a strip search to make your you don't have a knife up your butthole that you could use on yourself when you get all worked up again... mmmmmkay?
S.P. - Yep I want to die.
Nurse, alright I've brought in a psychatrist they are gonna give you a little shot and your gonna feel a little loopy for the next few days..
Psychatrist- Alright so now that your stable and we got all that taken care of are you still having suicidal thoughts?
S.P. - Yep I want to die.
Psychatrist, alright well, were gonna fix ya right up. Now we can't keep you hear long. The government got rid of institutions so your gonna get to go home with some medications for your anxiety, your depression, and your gonna be feeling wonderful again. You'll be coping and back to normal. Were also gonna make sure you have support, so were gonna set you up with a therapist. Isn't that nice?
_______________________________
After Discharge
_________________________________
Therapists office_______________
S.P. I want to die.
Therapist- Oh dear.... Well I'm really sorry to hear that, now my training affords me the ability to work with people with mild to moderate depressionbut if your back to thinking your gonna kill yourself, I gotta call the ambulance. In fact. I am required to.
Ambulance- So you have having some bad thoughts huh?
S.P. - I want to die.....
Ambulance- Alright, well that is no fun, so were just gonna have an officer help us out here while we get you locked into place in the back here so you don't get any sudden urges to put a scapel in your skull. Now Tell me. Have you ever been treated for mental illness at a hospital before?
Repeat, Repeat Repeat. Again and again and again.
Because nobody actually can fix it. I'm convinced it takes, willpower, luck, genetic advantage, a loving support system (without that good luck, you might as well get it over with) A generally positive disposition to begin with ect ect.
The day men stop killing themselves, is the day Divorce is once again made illegal. Couples should be forced to work it out. In almost everycase it can be worked out. If we invested in relationship experts instead of lawyers more men would live. Its just a fact.
Hey Sam, thanks for sharing this. Sorry to hear about your experience with the hotline. I only put it out there as an option. However you bring up a good point. When a person is suicidal, there can be many reasons why and not all people that are suicidal are for the same reasons. In the context I am speaking about here is coming from someone feeling that way because something bad happened. What I do not go in to is the person that suffers from the sort of mental illness where feeling suicidal is the result of something internally. I struggle with Bi-Polar disorder where sometimes my brain just flat out lies to me and tell me I'm worthless and I need to check out. There is absolutely no reason for me to even feel that way, everything in my life has been amazing lately. But all of a sudden this feeling of complete despair washes over me and no matter how much I am aware of the good things in my life, I want to end it. Yes it is a daily struggle. Yes it does take willpower. Yes there seems like there is nothing anyone can do. No I don't want to take meds or be in an institution. All of it flat out sucks. And to be honest, I know others have it so much worse. I generally think folks just want to make it through this life and be happy, but I'm also not naïve enough to know that not everyone is going to follow that path. I'm on my journey, and if in some way I can help someone along their journey, then it's all good. Stay well my friend and thanks for sharing.
You can't expect things to do well when the courts forced guys to pay money you don't have.
Huh 9x higher for divorced men. Yikes! I just got really sick and nervous about getting sick again like that. Guys lack support and feel defeated. Get out in nature and enjoy looking at that nice lake. It's very mental, had that idea right from the beginning to envision yourself and understand it is a struggle. Worn out and burnt out is part of the process so make sure you get rest and try to enjoy yourself for who you are. It is a self discovery process in discovering who you really are and like yourself again. Guess you can't say I'm not in depression but burnt out which is expected. Unfortunately you have to work the best with cards handed to you which sucks but then again you can be yourself that you liked. Try to rationalize those automatic thoughts that pop in your head to make clarity. I do that often analyzing automatic thoughts.
Men also seem to struggle being alienated from their ADULT children. Most chatter about divorce only consider minor children. I'd like to see discussion on how ex-spouses or soon to be exes can REALLY manipulate adult children also into blaming the other parent. Sure, sometimes there is clear reason for a child to blame or dislike a parent, or to take one parent's side over another, but not always - and unfortunately, even many of these kids in their twenties lack the life experience to judge, combined with being caught in the miiddle - yet are old enough to THINK they know it all. In some ways (not all - but some), it's tougher than divorcing when children are very young.
In my mind, its not so much getting divorced in and of itself. Usually by that point the marriage itself is broken. - It's the turmoil it leaves in its wake; be that financial, or trouble with children (even if they're grown).
If possible, would you share links to the data?
There's a lot of ground between self - harm and feeling shitty when you're not around, or in contact with, your support group.
I'm not contemplating self-harm. However, I feel like every night alone (after the family and friend time, after hitting the gym as hard as I can) when I huddle around the streaming entertainment or a cigar to fill the void, I just cannot feel compete).
And my psychologist is an asshole. I thought we were even on payments, and he calls me two years later telling me I have a ≈$3,000 bill.
That's the years after last speaking with him.
My depression was the only thing besides bills that my wife let me keep in the divorce.
If I wasn’t such a coward I would have done it already. I don’t want my kids to know I did it but I can’t deal with this pain anymore. She left me and just threw me away. 15 years and 3 kids weren’t enough for her to want to work on it. So why should I stick around?
I know it goin off the subject
But plz plz plz love your parents the most
Yes you’ll find another woman
Have more kids
But only one mother and father,
When you dedicate so much to your wife and her family for so many years while your mother in a old peoples home,
You got no life line then,
Love who loves you.
Divorce is hard for a loving person
But if I didn’t have my parents around me at my lowest point while divorcing
I could say I would have drunk to death or died from overdose,
I don’t wish my enemies or any human being to go through that feeling, it’s hurt broken anxiety stress depression sad feeling I can’t describe
I don't have children, my wife and brother had something going, I am handicapped. My wife abandoned me. I am suicidal. Struggling alot, I have alot of potential, I am smart but we have a family business and also got disowned because they saw my wife as dishonest, my brother has a child and his future was seen as more important.
Hey Man, do not give up. Like you said, you have a lot of potential. So a part of you believes in yourself. You need to dig down and use your intelligence and will to dig yourself out of this hole. It's ok to ask for a ladder to help you climb out. You may also have to build your own ladder. Try to get your thinking out of a place of what happened and focus on what can you do. This is not an easy road to travel, and I'm praying for you to find the strength. If it gets really bad, please reach out to a real professional. There is help out there. Stay well my friend.
@@WhiteBeardAnt I really appreciate your kind words and most all your prayers, thank you.God bless.
Please, can someone tell me it’s going to be ok , I just got divorced and I love my ex wife and I can’t move on , I hate my life and I cry everyday , I just need to hear it please
Hey Ahmad, yes. it absolutely is going to be ok. And it will also be painful for a time and hard to not think about it all the time. Its important that you find someone to work this through if you are really struggling. Keep your family and friends close. Keep busy. Each day it will get a little easier. Stay strong, be well.
It IS going to be OK. All you have to do is stick it out. For the first three years, it felt like “one step up and two steps back”. Now it’s around 1.5 steps forward and 1 step backward.
I saw all this advice three years ago. I felt a little better knowing that I was not uniquely crazy. My insanity was quite common. Armed with that knowledge, I dragged myself out of bed every goddamned day. Now there is hope.
If I could go back and give myself advice, it would be to be patient with myself and keep on keeping on.
The courts will always focus on the child support money. The courts will side with the mom because there is money to be made with lopsided custody judgements. Accept the loss and move on.
Everyone says reach out...why? When everything you've worked at falls apart, what's the point?
It's disappointing. Having a stoic philosophy will be helpful.
I'm so depressed and overwhelmed with life since my wife left me. I think about suicide daily I can't cope anymore I love her so much
Hey, I'm so sorry that you're feeling so bad. It pains me to hear you are not doing well. Please please please seek help or some one to talk to. In the U.S. you can just dial 988 now. Stay with some friends if you have to. Wishing you the best.
Sorry to hear this. Did she leave you or you left her ?
I’m extremely sad. It’s confusing. One minute I can laugh so hard. But most days I’m so sad. When my husband abandoned me and my boys. Then asked for a divorce.
It’s so heavy. I feel lonely and misunderstood. I’m mad. Like why?
He was my best friend. Truly.
My stomach is in knots. I think he’s just fine. As I’m suffering. My boys.. my boys are silently suffering.
I can’t get out my bed. I’m in my room everyday.. all day. As of last week I got out.
I got a new job as a FedEx driver. I’m going to the gym now.
God bless whoever’s reading this. Gods real. We’re just humans with human mentality.
I’m sad. Very sad. I just try to cover it with a smile. But it’s a huge hole in my heart.
Thank you sharing this. Sounds like you have a plan. Hope it's going well. Keep going! You will survive this! If you have a bad day, just start over the next day. If you have a good one, try to build on it. Eventually the path you're on will lead to where you want to be. Stay well!
You are not alone, I've been going through this exactly as you described for an entire month. It is a struggle.
I can tell the one making this video was speaking from his heart and seems the truly care not looking for someone to ring a bell or subscribe and I appreciate that very much,/ PUT JESUS FIRST AND DO THE RIGHT THING NO MATTER WHAT EVERYDAY, TRUE VICTORY IS THROUGH JESUS AND ONE DOING HIS PART, MY WIFE OF 32 YEARS HAS BEEN GONE FOR A YEAR AND A HALF AND BY THE GRACE OF GOD I JUST GET UP EVERY MORNING AND DO THE RIGHT THING SLOWLY I'M HEALING AND STARTING TO GROW STRONGER, THE KING NEVER FAILS, (ACTS 1:8 / 2:38
I wish i wasnt born
I'm sorry you feel that way. You look like you have some talent musically. Does that not inspire you anymore?
You guys need to be redpilled, I almost married a girl but I broke up her cause men make women their lives and when it ends we get devastated, make Jesus Christ the Savior your life and God will never fail you
I WANT TO DIE
I can no longer bear this hell I'm in.
The pain is unbearable.
The grief is nauseating and dizzying.
I am paralyzed with panic.
So I pray this prayer:
Beloved Presence of God "I AM",
and Beloved Ascended Master,
Saint Germain,
I love you!
Come forth with Your Angels
of the Violet Fire of Freedom,
and help me!
I command this in Jesus' precious
and mighty and holy name.
BLAZE Your Violet Fire through my emotions!
Take out all feelings of grief, terror, panic, horror, despair, suicide, rage and fear of every kind
- their cause and their core - and REPLACE them with Your feeling of Divine Love,
Purity, Harmony and Calmness, which is truly who I AM.
I AM the forgiveness in my soul.
I AM the peace in my mind.
I AM the love in my heart.
I thank you!
I’m emptying a bottle of tequila watching this… I rather just give up. This is ridiculous. How many men have to deal with the laws of society just because of our genitals. I’m giving up…. To all of you out there I wish you the best. I can’t do it.
You are not alone, haha.
Please stop saying commit suicide
It’s died by suicide!