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I have to ask where you got that cute shirt from in this video, I love the art style on it so much. Also, just subscribed because I love long-form content like this!
just like the term “egg” is used to describe a trans person who doesn’t yet know they’re trans, i think we should start using the word “ken” to describe a fundie on the brink of deconstruction
It’s also impossible not to participate in our capitalist system. We have no choice (I’m a socialist, bring on the revolution 😂) Bethany, on the other hand, absolutely has a choice to bash feminism.
Exactly. She‘d be a perpetually drugged up miserable housewife if her brainwashed ideal world were still in place. It‘s baffling really to see someone like her so caught up in this hateful ideology but alas this is severe childhood brainwashing so it‘s not shocking. It is doubtful that she‘ll ever get out of thid with a family so tied into this cult and them having a chokehold on her. She couldn‘t snap out of this so easily let alone make it out without severe mental and possibly also physical bruising.
@laurenwalker1048 this right here! You can even have valid criticisms of a movement, because striving for better is actually a good thing to do in a movement, especially one that is progressive. But it seems pretty ironic how GD uses the feminist ladder to get where they are and then want to light it on fire
There's also a difference here: capitalism is an unwilling/inescapable (thus far) situation which affords some people benefit/privilege, another is being born white, yet one can try to dismantle white privilege and work against capitalism and for more socialist policies. Then there's what Bethany is doing which is not living consistently with that she preaches while having the power to change it. She's actively claiming the rights and benefits afforded to her by feminism, like the right to own her own business, in her own name, and make and KEEP her own money instead of not having those rights or automatically losing all those rights once she got married. She's not being a traditional wife or anti feminist, just claiming the label for her brand. She's teaching a modern, comparatively more glamorous and cosmopolitan version of Christianity than was taught in previous decades because that's what works for her. Even if she did become a stay at home mom with no job she STILL isn't "traditional " in the real sense - she still has benefits feminism won her - divorce protection and his obligation to pay child support if he's the sole or main breadwinner, rights to bodily autonomy so her husband doesn't get to legally sexually abuse her unlike laws of decades past, etc. And I'm sure she doesn't want to give up her right to vote and let her husband as Biblical head of the household and in charge of the wife make that super important decision for her. Feminism isn't something she accidentally benefits from, it's something she purposely lives by even if she won't admit it and can hide behind the Overton window making such feminism seem "just normal" in modern times and therefore not something that needs to be acknowledged by name.
I’m not Christian but, it’s okay to be Christian and hold that stance, even like & enjoy & support the Barbie movie? Can someone explain why everyone’s hellbent on him deconstructing? Like I’m hoping he realizes all the stuff he was fed about women and society was garbage, but if he wants to be Christian he still can be.
@@forlorndreamsI sort of see it like an alcoholic saying “well just one drink is fine” when they’ve never been sober. If you’re as deep in the fundamentalist sauce as these two it’s best to become fully separated from the church to find identity of self and sense of morality from non-Christian views before you can settle into being a non-harmful Christian.
Barbie DEFINITELY got into some existential shit. The main character literally decided that she preferred to become human and mortal rather than exist as an immortal stereotypical idea, and the fact that she would eventually die as a result of becoming a whole person was made VERY explicit.
It’s so sad to see two people just trapped with each other like Paul & Morgan. They’ve got the chemistry of two, non matching, pre assembled ikea chairs . Just, woof.
Bethany has sacrificed _so_ _much_ to conform to the gendered expectations put on her, and she has to suffer all these daily indignities in service of patriarchy in total silence where she's not allowed to to criticize. And I think, coming back from this movie, it's insulting for Bethany hear her husband is so uncommitted to this ideology, and so unaware, that a two hour movie can move the needle. Bethany has painfully subjugated her own needs and desires her whole life, metes out judgement against women all the time, she never laughs, she's constantly simmering with anger in her videos, all so that she can fit into God's impossible plan. All that suffering.... for David to see a 2 hr movie about a children's toy and come home like, "Huh, woa, men are in charge of women.... what's up with that? Is that fair? What a trip. haha okay well I'm going go to bed now. that's crazy. night hun."
Bethie rolls her eyes and sticks out her tongue in disgust quite often when her husband speaks; she doesn't seem to listen to understand or to intellectually engage. She seems like she can't wait for him to finish a thought so she can throw out a thought-stopping cliche from a high-demand cult.
I recall hearing a study that eye rolling/ contempt towards your partner is the numbre one key indicator of impending divorce. I can't remember the source.
@@CarolineIronwillit's probably one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse (John Gotman? Or something)! Contempt, criticism, stonewalling, and something else... 🤔
@@angiematasOf course not. How could he talk about it if that’s what he’s thinking? He couldn’t go on the internet and proclaim he’s deconstructing and his wife is brainwashed while living with her.
Exactly… she is unable to critically analyze the film, regardless of whether she agrees with it or not. Being able to comprehend and understand something you don’t necessarily agree with is a sign of intelligence and decent education which she is clearly lacking.
I am just gonna say... She found out what s e x actually is from a child's book of a kid she was babysitting as late teenager herself. Thats just disturbing.
That's what gets to me so much. He's publicly talked about his struggles with his mental health and she's STILL sticking her tongue out and rolling her eyes at his thoughts and feelings. I don't doubt her attitude toward him is contributing to his unhappiness.
That's super depressing. I truly hope he gets the help he needs and moves on with his life. No one deserves their struggles dismissed like that, especially by the person that's supposed to be your rock, your partner in life.
@@ashleyhall6098it was very courageous of him to speak out like that even when he’s got a hater right next to him, that’s some strength, hope his life gets better
I feel like this is because Bethany feels like she have compromise and sacrifice so much of her own human condition to fit into this perfect fundie image that she feels like Dav is just not as devoted to the God therefore that’s why he’s depressed. Because if Dav is more devoted and part of god’s perfect plan and role, you wouldn’t be depressed. It’s probably why she have no sympathy for him because if she can do it why wouldn’t he? Very typical right wing old school belief, if I suffered you need to too.
I think it's weird when any woman has disdain towards feminism. And then it's EXTRA weird and confusing that she chose to marry this guy who doesn't seem to have as much disdain for feminism as SHE does.
I think it's probably because she didn't really get the chance to get to know him (and vice versa from Dave's side), before getting married. From what I've heard, they didn't even hold hands on dates so I can't imagine they talked about their deeply held beliefs and perspectives outside of their religion. It's very sad/disturbing that they're only discovering each other's true POV years after marriage and children 😮
The point they made about the start about being anti-feminist and self-hating was very valid imo: "The more a woman hates herself the more she hates women in general". Bethany is not very smart or a critical thinker. She also hates herself, so all she has is regurgitated talking points and hate for other women. I guess if you don't feel you have many positive points to compete on, tearing down the competition is really all you have. The guy is smart, and seems he is kinda trapped. I think it can take longer for Christian men to deconstruct than Christian women, *particularly* if they have a very fundy wife. Because religion favours men and that level of privelege makes it hard to see clearly, especially if "the woman likes it", then who is he to argue. I still find it hard to believe that he didn't deconstruct earlier given his obvious intelligence, but it's way easier to be a feminist if you're a woman and acutely suffer the consequences of a misogynistic society.
Yeah, well, that's the whole thing. These women don't think of marriage as a "choice", they think of it as an obligation, and they're supposed to do it YOUNG. So they just trip into the nearest guy that's passable enough and their parents don't disaprove of.
I love that the dude was like "they didn't say she didn't want romance she just didn't want romance with the men available at the point in time of the movie" dude is sounding woke AF
Every single one of his reactions to her analysis. Every time he pulled away from her. Him going back and forth between feeling for her and caressing her back to comfort her to being taken aback and borderline disgusted by her analysis, and being internally defensive. I feel so bad for him.😢
I feel so sad for Dave. He looks like his spirit is being crushed. Dave - if by chance you read this, I think you're great, you are Kenough and the secular world, while not perfect (nowhere is!) has plenty of love and understanding to offer you. We await you with open arms!!
He could also, with the help of therapy and self-reflection, work out a healthier way to be a Christian. That's what I've done...I've given myself permission to ditch the most toxic parts of fundamentalism, while still loving Jesus, believing in God, and identifying as Christian. However, everyone is different and I can definitely understand and empathize with why someone might completely leave religion altogether.
@@maryannvalerio9869 When you boil down Christianity, it pretty much is a socialist utopic religion. House/feed/clothe everyone, the meek inherit the earth, the rich cannot enter heaven, you have to do nothing but believe for salvation, pray in your closet, reach out to the outcasts and help them, etc. Nothing Jesus did in the bible was conservative in nature at all! Its wild to me how twisted it has become since.
@@maryannvalerio9869very true. Like many other beliefs and ideologies, there is so much variance within the church. There are many ways to have a healthy Christ centered relationship, in ways that are compassionate, rooted in society and social justice, loving, non racist, away from prosperity gospel and
Also they just came out of the movie so they had time to think about it more and he seems to have so much he wants to talk about. I wonder how their talk on their way home about the movie was was she even more hostile and reserved yikes
It seemed to be that she was getting insulted by him saying that he enjoyed it on an "intellectual level". You can see that she interpreted that as him calling her dumb which I dont think was the intention. Im shocked that she filmed this with him instead of doing it by herself if she was so insulted by him.
Dav is the only one of the fundie-influencers I want to sit down with and have a conversation about beliefs because he seems capable of having that conversation. Bethy and Paul and those folks would refuse to engage with any level of sincerity, but I think Dav would. Even if I disagree with some of his views, he seems at least capable of independent thought and consideration.
I think Bethany being the “target audience” for the Barbie movie and empowering woman caused her to be SUPER in denial about everything and ironically (with how much that was thrown around in their video) cause actual cognitive dissonance for her. so her gut reaction is “no” and fall back into her programming of what women are supposed to be. Whereas for her husband, it’s more theoretical and he can play with the ideas psychologically rather than have to apply any of it realistically to his own life (also he seemed WAY less committed to filling his “christian” role throughout the video where Bethany has to still play her fundy christian character since it’s her channel). I do think her husband was engaging more genuinely with the movie, and I appreciated most of his takes from a nuanced perspective because it wasn’t just gut reaction based on the Fundamentalist Christian perspective. Loved the references to Tanner’s own deconstruction and hope the best for Dav
I think the whole "Ken seeks validation from Barbie" is what those "alpha" podcasters promote. That men only have validity if they get girls, it totally mirrors reality
Can confirm from someone who used to be in red pill spaces when I was younger. Dave actually did a pretty good flip between "nice guys" and "alpha males" and showing how both are part of codependency thus unhealthy.
@@ethanstumpif you don't mind me asking, how'd you get out? What attracted you to it in the first place and how deep did you get? I'm glad to hear you've recovered!
@@woofawoof7616 it's a complexer & convoluted tale than what I'm about to share, but it was while i was losing faith in my Mormon upbringing, & when Jordan peterson was becoming popular. my involvement was always online, sometimes public, sometimes anon, but it was at the level of follower. never donated or anything like that, but i would watch a variety of content from different creators, from sandman/happy hermit/paul elam/ TF monkey & more. the thing that attracted me to it was a transition from the religious right of my childhood to a more secular/political new alt right that was in ascendency, as i watched sargon & others, as i became of age to vote & was still right wing at the time. plus my insecurity as a small loner nerd & my absolutely atrocious dating record outside of Mormonism led to me absorbing a lot of the propaganda of the right. what got me out... was becoming disabled and understanding capitalism's inbuilt ableism, and becoming a socialist as a result of it. once you absorb enough of the left, somethings start to make a lot more sense. i would recommend Yugopniks video on why capitalism ruined romance.
@@ethanstump first, I'm really glad you got out and are recovering. Second, thank you for sharing your story. It's really valuable to understand how we can protect boys from these sorts of predatory movements. I think also acknowledging how toxic patriarchal systems impact men and actively working to fix that would go a long way in making the movement unappealing. Would you have any thoughts on that? Thank you again!
@@woofawoof7616 no problem, thank you for listening. while this might be a bit much for some, to me the domination of women is an outgrowth largely to our reliance of large scale domination writ whole, that is war. patriarchy increased heavily during the monotheistic shift, which was a period heavily influenced by war. reducing war and permanent formal offensive structures would go a long way to creating a world where there is less justification for patriarchy. i rely heavily on feminists such as Emma Goldman for my analysis. patriarchy simply cannot be maintained in an environment starved of large scale coercion. as for whether or not large scale permanent war structures are necessary to the continued existence of society, i lean on anthropologist david graebers book "the dawn of everything". in it, he show's various groups of various complexities that do not have permanent war structures that nonetheless maintained a cohesive and technically complex groups of serious population during that time. patriarchy cannot exist without war, and the way to reduce the prevalence of war is to reduce and abolish structures that perpetuate and maintain incentives for war, that is profit from war, and the MIC. no, you can't completely get rid of war, but you can get rid of formal structures that seek to maintain it.
For someone with a hardon for patriarchy, Bethy sure doesn’t display even the slightest modicum of respect for her “headship.” She’s like a less intellectual Phyllis Schlafly.
Which is also weird because I don't think she could realistically be married to a more "manly man traditional man" because like, would be even want her to have a UA-cam channel and a ministry? Like HER IDEAL version of a man would not like her
What's so ironic is Bethany being unable to conceptualize what it means to be enough with out Jesus/God there to determine who she should be means that she is exactly like Ken at the beginning of the movie- utterly unable to have a good day unless she feels someone else looking down on her and giving her attention/approval. Barbie is to Ken what Jesus is to Bethany
The way Bethany keeps calling the movie serious reminds me of when I went to see Bridesmaids and cried in the car afterwards because of personal stuff the movie reminded me of. Using her logic I should have told everyone that Bridesmaids was tragic and emotionally draining. It's like, babe, just because it scared you doesn't make it scary to everyone, you just have really messed up references for what is normal
This whole discussion is so good. The "it's better to be suffering than to think you are enough" part especially. My mother has told me a few times that she hopes, someday, I hit a low enough point that I am able to find god. I've told her I feel fulfilled without religion, and that should be a good thing, but it's wild to me that someone could wish that for their own child and be so convinced it actually would be a better thing. This kind of mentality is so damaging, and at the end of the day, I just feel for her. That she can't find that fulfillment and has to spend her whole life dreaming of the day when maybe she'll get her validation after she dies.
Also, I agree with your point that her husband is totally wasted on her. Most women would kill, *KILL* for a guy who is attractive, attentive and not only respectful, but actively interested in being a good and loving partner, like he is. But it sounds like this Girl Defined character would honestly be more content and comfortable with a misogynistic toolbag who mirrored her views. Gahhhhh! Life is so unfair. Great content btw, this is the first vid I've seen of yours but have subscribed!
I can't STAND the most mysogonistic ass women who end up with the best self aware men ever 😭😭🙄 like bitch HOW?!? Like Ayesha Curry with Steph Curry 🙄 Steph is the perfect guy, but Ayesha is unsufferable. I bet if these women ended up with trash men, they would think twice about their twisted opinions and the stupid a$$ men they defend 😂 anyways, men like Dav eventually learn their worth and get sick and tired of these ladies... I hope Dav can deconstruct and get a divorce bc poor guy 😅 I'd be miserable too if I was stuck with Bethany
as a Fundie Fridays Jennonite, i’ve been patiently awaiting the day of Dav’s awaKening for a long time now. it’s become so obviously inevitable that i can already feel the pain of everything he is about to lose and have to grow out of. we love you Dav! stay strong! you are Kenough! 💖
His life with Bethany must be purgatorial. Maybe we could find a time when we could all clap together, and shout "I do believe in Dāv, I do, I do!" Just out of pity, if nothing else.
Dav does seem pretty intelligent sometimes...which could be why Bethy seems to be dismissive of what he says, because she just doesn't really understand what he's saying. It's hard for women in these groups because they are so blocked from education (I had a really tough time when I was in it).
When I was in that, I would sometimes get really annoyed and frustrated with my husband, whenever he expressed anything that sort of undermined the importance of our patriarchal hierarchy, and my submission and stuff, because it was already so hard to stuff myself into that role, I couldn’t let there be any cracks.
@@lindseytallent2855that’s really insightful. Thank you for mentioning it. I think it helps me understand how the women in these groups often seem to hold onto the structure more than the men.
Bethany: I liked all the surface level stuff Dave: I liked the message the movie was sending, but i have to express it in a filtered way because Bethany is right next to me
I remember when Dav was introduced and everyone said he was gay. I think he left this impression on people just because he's not like the stereotypical American christian man? I think he is willing to show more volnerability and thoughtfulness(although very little by normal people standards). I don't think he knows what he is yet and I hope he gets away from this woman and finds out.❤
Bethie so obviously can't stand that he has his own opinion that doesn't align with hers...and that he has good insight whereas she's just miserable and closed minded.
@@kimilynP It's quite something to see her have to reckon with the reality of what she signed up for, as far as being a submissive wife assuming because she "did it the right way" relationship/marriage wise that they would just automatically be in sync...
Her reaction to him talking about the movie was disgusting. Watching him talk about the movie is absolutely adorable though, it's always so much fun to see people talk about things that mean something to them, and very clearly this movie meant something to him. The saddest part is seeing him try to pull that back for the camera. I would love to see him just talk about the movie without worrying about what his wife thinks.
Honestly I'm so excited for Dav to embrace his open mindedness! And Bethany... well my heart goes out to her as she is clearly feeling the deep worthiness wounds that are repeatedly cut by Christianity.
Barbie is an absurd movie and very funny but it's a woman's writing and execution. Bethany thinking the movie is boring is giving conservatives (men specifically) in the comment section on a female comedians videos being "Where's the joke?" Women CAN'T ever win. We're too serious but when we're funny we're trying too hard and not actually funny. Like make it make sense!!
It is quite obvious why Bethy married him. The real question is why he married her. Especially considering that he did not grow up fundamentalist (or so I read). I’m quite sure, this is also one of the questions he is working on with his therapist, after he “hit a wall of disappointment after 4 years of marriage “ (this is a quote from his infamous instagram post). You want to know my guess? One or both of his parents do have a personality disorder - and his strange marriage (and converting to Bethy’s brand of fundamentalism in the first place) are a re-enactment of his childhood attachment trauma. And his therapist seems to be very, very skilled, because he seems to help him effectively in the only way that is tolerable for Dav at his current stage of developing his own self: he works with him on defining a self, “staying true” non-judgementally to his self, his opinion, his perception, his emotions - without trying to be heard, seen, validated by is wife or anyone else. And notably without trying to change her, or convince her or influence her, if he can bear it. Because getting in a discussion with her would only deepen the enmeshment she is trying to establish ALL THE TIME WITH LITERALLY EVERYBODY. I don’t think she knows how to be in relationship with anyone in her life any other way. I see him using “ninja-boundaries” on her all the time , also in this video, - using humor, distraction, pseudo-agreeable non-agreeableness 😊, some “grey rock”- communication (responding in bland, boring ways until difficult personalities lose interest or tire themselves out on their own etc.) - all techniques a good therapist would teach somebody to enable him to hold onto his developing self under an enmeshing, pressuring and/or abusive, unsafe environment. Remember when he answered the question on whether it hurts him that his wife constantly talks about their inadequate sex life? He said he intentionally uses this as an opportunity to practice retaining his self worth independently of what others think of him. That sounds like a skillful therapist mirroring him and strengthening his development of a sense of self in a non-threatening, patient way while remaining completely neutral of the outcome. I love to see results of good therapeutic work, very inspiring!
And by the way you are spot on with your „diagnosed with depression vibes“, he did talk in his instagram about needing treatment because of his suicidal ideation. You should do a reaction video to those.
I would love to see you guys react to Our most open marriage conversation yet on the Girl Defined Channel. There is this amazing moment when Dav says he was “using her language “ while quoting scripture at her during a conflict, and she answers along the lines of “ why MY language, we’re both Christians…” It becomes so obvious that he is perceptive to and receives a very different style of counseling compared to her. Would love to hear your thoughts on that.
Well, i watched Dav‘s lives in Rachel Oates The Saga of Bethany Beal It is very long but well done and we’ll worth the watch (though her conclusion with regards to Bethy is way to generous). If you don‘t want to watch the whole thing, she starts talking about Dav‘s development at around the 2 hour mark and shows his posts.
Bethie frowning and shaking her head while her husband talks about a joke he liked is so insane. He seems so much more reflective and open-minded than I would have ever expected from someone married to her.
I started tearing up genuinely when Dave was talking about Barbie having to conform to stereotypical expectations and Bethany was just sitting there looking super uncomfortable.. their whole dynamic is just deeply deeply sad
This was amazing! The woman just seethes through the entire thing; her anger is palpable. And the husband seems to be... going on a familiar journey! I'm so excited for him! (Hopefully he continues!) Also (as a side note), this "boomer" thinks the two of you are so fabulous! I left the cult you are most familiar with 11 years ago - when I was in my fifties. I'm a bit envious of those of you who were able to break away at a MUCH younger age!
Bethenny is very opinionated and assertive and doesn't have submissive body language. She doesn't raise the pitch of her voice. It gives me hope that she could possibly get out of her shit someday. She has access to her anger. That's good.
I was watching an interview cults to consciousness did with Irene’s entropy and Irene and Bethany have really similar vibes. Irene’s past also is so similar to Bethany’s present in terms of aggressively upholding teachings that devalue and restrict them
Something tells me that therapy has helped it develop some of these views, because a good therapist would want him to be healthy in all regards of his life. It just illustrates how important having people outside your high control group can benefit critical thinking
I haven't finished listening to his analysis yet, but so far it's pretty on point and you can tell how much he loved this movie and how much it spoke to him and I'm here for it!
Bethy repeatedly complaining that the movie and theme is too serious is another version of "it's not that deep." Pretending the issue being brought up doesn't matter that much is the easiest way to deflect from actual critically thinking about the argument.
I am a little under halfway through and I personally can't believe after filming and editing this video that they decided to post it. It's not just that he liked it, but that this displays his curiosity and fundamentally different world views he has or is creating separate from her. I will never be so mean as to cheer on the fall of someone's marriage, but I am very happy for him in that he found a lot of joy in the movie and that it might be helping him to find himself outside of her and fundamentalism.
This seems like it's going to be interesting going forward. The dude was blissfully unaware of the box he was in, and the Barbie movie just showed him. Hope it catalyses his deconstruction, and that ideally, he can help her out too.
I watched this video when it came out, but just came back to watch it again after Dav said in their recent video that 1. this one was the first girl defined critical video he's watched (maybe ever?), 2. he loved this video to the point that he became a huge fan of your channel and watched a lot more of your videos afterwards, and 3. this video was a major defining point in his deconstruction journey. He even said that he showed it to Bethany! And like that's all awesome but watching this again, I'm struck by some of the things he had to have heard in this video and actually been receptive to... for example, straight up mentioning that Bethany/Kristen have nazi ancestors that they're weirdly proud of? All the leftist talking points? Veeeery interesting 👀
The funny thing is that Bethany is right about the shallowness (and Dav is right about the corporate-ness) of the movie, it's very much White (cis, hetero) Feminism and doesn't really say anything new. I really enjoyed the movie and I think everyone should see it!! Especially those who need a kind of Feminism 101 course lol but it is hypocritical and tries to do more than I can do within the scope of its corporate backing. But Bethany's critique doesn't come from wanting more and better feminism, she just thinks it's all bad lmao
@@lindseytallent2855 I kinda agree. When I hear "white girl feminism" I think of girlboss feminism, and I do think this movie actually criticized a lot of that. For example, Babies whole arc as a character is just wanting to be a person instead of the idea/ sole representative of feminism. Which is unlike movies like Mulan, or Captain marvel, who are embodiments of the opposite. This movie also commentated on how the consumerisation of social movements ultimately doesn't work, that is the first thing she learned when going into the real world. The oxymoron of that message is that this movie is the epitome of that consumerism, so I can see why people can see the message as shallow, or missing entirely, because the movie is what the movie is commentating on. Also because of the big feminist speech at the end. But I do think that this movie criticizes some of those ideals albeit imperfectly. This is more like intersectional feminism 101. For those who don't know the difference between girlboss/white women/radical feminism.
i find barbie to be old news to feminists but maybe a newer idea for the general audience, which is the demographic a blockbuster with all of this press wants. i think it could read better internationally as well. if they went into the nuance of modern western feminist discussion that includes race, class, etc., it would alienate a lot of people who aren’t familiar with “feminism 101.”
@@megan-mr9vk I agree! Some people need feminism 101. I just think that the hype about it being somehow groundbreaking is a little overstated, that's all!
I feel so bad for both of them. She's doing back flips to justify her low self esteem while resenting anyone who doesn't hate themselves as much as she does. And he deserves to be able to have intellectual and philosophical conversations and figure out what actually makes sense for him.
The points the woman makes are standard conservative talking points. The guy's points are intelligent and intellectual. He reminds me of when I was a Christian and trying to find intellectual talking points to back it up because it didn't make any sense (I would often trip over myself in the process). If he's still involved in fundamenatalist Christianity in 10 years I'll be surprised.
Totally. I was briefly a late in life Christian at 18, was baptized, etc, but never felt that I could be myself especially in discussions regarding life. If you have any view points outside of the accepted dogma then everyone else is uncomfortable and you get no where. I left soon after
About the universal Kate McKinnon love, I think it’s more that she gets a pass because she is considered by everyone in both universes of the movie to be undesirable. She doesn’t challenge any preconceived notion they have about gender because she is not considered worthy or attractive in the film. Even at the end she asks to work in sanitation so she stays in the weird realm, sexless and in no way a threat to conservatives’ fragile idea of femininity.
I'll say, in the Barbie movie, I think Kens were actively barred from holding political office, because at the end the President says they will now be allowed to have *some* seats in the congress or whatever it is, just to clarify. But yeah it's still not a full flip of patriarchy lol. No Kens getting diagnosed with hysteria or anything
This whole video I kept thinking "how did he get stuck with her??? How???" Like divorce is a mean thing to wish on a couple but he needs out. And he can find a different christian wife, but dude, get out of **this** particular marriage lmao. Sincerely, I wish him the best.
36:20 Absolutely unreal coming back to this video after the week’s developments. I cannot believe the progress they’ve made individually and as a couple 🥺
I'm really glad I decided to tune in to this episode, as I've lowkey followed Girl Defined for a year or more. (By "followed" I mean keep tabs on their business, since I view them as a highly destructive force for young women.) Anyway, pointing out that Bethany cannot imagine being "enough" by herself is hitting the nail on the head. It made me really sad but also really angry - because I'm stuck in the same boat. I have now been atheist for 10 years and strong secular humanist for a bit fewer years. Despite having escaped so long ago, I am stil haunted by the trauma of my religious upbringing. I was in a "Quiverfull" community in the Southeast USA. I still don't think I'm enough. I'm not really sure if I can ever love myself even after a decade of therapy. Look everyone. This is what religion does to you. This is what is does when it catches hold of you.
The moment he rolled his eyes as she dismissed female empowerment around 37:04 or so lol. Part of me, on the serious side, does wonder, if he deconstructs will they divorce, or will she pivot her brand without her bestie (the other half of GDM) and be like, "Listen girls, God is dead. And let me tell you why purity culture harms people?" Because the grift is the most important thing.
It's so sad/harmful that for Bethany only flawless perfection is acceptable. To her being a "good enough" person means being a perfect person. That's a sick mindset.
Bethany is more up in arms about how men are portrayed then her husband is. Also, I feel like he is describing her lifestyle when he’s discussing impacts of the patriarchy on women.
Just in case you forgot, This guy DID have an existential crisis of sorts, he was deeply depressed in their relationship and I think he said he was suicidal. Right around the time she was showing off about how horny she was and how much she loved sex... Their relationship is a mess.
@@qwandary my parents are exactly like this, and the turnout (if they stay together) seems to be (from experience): dad stays for the kids (which, I am so grateful for cuz I cannot handle my mom alone) dad has long meaningful conversations abt life, existence, and space with his kids dad is lovely in general, funny and likeable mom is the discipline in the house mom is christian and refuses to question her values mom believes the only thing worth focusing on is your personal future and work (and is therefore usually less socially aware than the dad) when the kid grows up and tries to become their own person, dad steps back and lets them make their own mistakes while mom is still trying to hang on to when the kid was young and opinionless by constantly berating them and only talking through nagging about things (ive had my mother tell me she wished I was a young kid again when I used to agree with everything she said) kid will end up having a very closed off relationship with the mom and a more open but still closed relationship with the dad because the dad has given up trying to go against the mom and will just unenthusiastically support her tantrums and placate her. honestly no one wants to be stuck in this house, my dad gets grumpy and short-tempered if hes not working, i like school better than home and stay there till five, she works from home. plenty of times when my dad and i talk about something we like, my mom usually cuts in at some point to tell us we're wasting our time talking about these things that dont matter and instead should be talking about more important things, like homework or my grades.
Bethy seems like a very unpleasant person to share your life with. Here Dav is, excitedly talking about the concepts explored in the movie and how they resonated with him. And she's sitting there like a bored middle schooler in a lecture openly showing how much she wishes he'd stfu. How many times behind closed doors do you think she's said something like "Uhhhg, it's NOT that deep!! Will you stop talking about it? It wasn't even fun anyway!" When he's tried to talk with her about it? How many times has she gotten angry because he said he enjoyed it? You know, we tend to focus on toxic men in these fundie pairings. But we forget women in these communities can be just as bad. You can tell Bethy has a VERY strong, firey personality and even stronger opinions. Which isn't a bad thing at all on it's own. But she also doesn't seem to have a lot of respect for other people, much less people who disagree with her. She seems like the kind of person who could really wear you down and, I kinda feel sorry for Dav. Fingers crossed he wakes up and sees that he is enough...
She lacks intelligence. She doesn’t have the intellectual capacity to entertain other ideas and still feel strongly in her own. I agree, she would be a very very hard person to live with.
People still assuming that Ken and Barbie were supposed to be together, the whole point was for barbie to never have a serious relationship with him. This has been well known for a very long time. He was made with that as the intention.
Re-watching this video in the light of the recent Girl Defined Cinematic Universe events and being hit by the "See you on our channel in nine months" ! The prophecy of it all ! Sam foretold the coming of Dav.
“I do not have a vagina and he does not have a penis”… literally the FUNNIEST line in Barbie! And Ken being all offended by Barbie saying he doesn’t have a penis…
That would give me a lot of hope for the future, that someone so entrenched in that can turn around and come out of that toxic environment. Every time I see a story like that, it makes me smile.
Thanks for reacting to this video. When i saw it, I was blown away by Dave’s intelligent analysis and by Bethany’s vague misdirected anger. It’s such a weird dynamic to witness, and it’s a shame that Bethany doesn’t appreciate Dave’s growth and intellect especially since his growth could directly benefit her.
He seemed excited to talk about the movie at the start of the vid but Bethany says things in a way that's making him pull back and scrunch down into his seat a lot.
the faces she made when he said he went and read about something... that was not only rude but also says a lot about that kind of fundamentalist religion (ie 'dont even try to learn about the things we dont want you to learn about, but still form strong opinions against those things')
I wonder if Bethany, because of her job, has become trapped in an bubble of never having her worldview challenged while her husband has more opportunities (and motivation) to encounter people with opinions that challenge or complicate his worldviews. Not saying this is true, but I do wonder if this informs their readings of the movies and openness to the messages
I hated the awkward pause when she said she's very 'simple-minded,' and the laughter like she's been told from childhood or at least indoctrinated that men like women who aren't intelligent. The internalized misogyny is so apparent, and growing up, a strict Christian, I had a lot of friends like this, and my way out was early college. My old friends are still like this and probably look up to this woman who herself has no idea what she is outside the lens of God or men. I even had to help with the deconstruction of my fiance because our town is so religious, and it permeates every single area of life. I feel horrible for them because I understand being trapped and watching people you love be trapped with you.
I love a lot of the other "snark" channels, they do good work. I REALLY appreciate y'alls gentler take on these two and staying hopeful that it's possible for fundies to change. I hope y'all are right about Dave, I see subtle changes in him too, especially here.
Its kind of crazy rewatching this video after seeing Dave comeout as an atheist. First of seeing Bethany be so supportive and loving to him makes it more funny to see her additude in this video, also just imagining dave relating to the kens not being able to reach the unreasonable goals while he was dealing with the same thing makes me hope that he also felt kenough.
Because their idea of ‘enough’ means perfect, and their idea of perfect means ‘infinitely better than I am’. They can’t be enough because perfection definitionally always leaves something to improve, yet it’s their life/eternal purpose to achieve perfection.
For as faith rooted as they are, I find it bizarre how much Bethany is the head of the family. It seems like even she doesn’t subscribe to the husband being the leader.
If you want to send us a little tip for allowing Girl Defined to dominate our brains for three straight days filming and editing this, you can Venmo us @ Samantha-Shelley-1 🙈💖🎀
Rererrara
😅e😅😅t😅r😅e😅 ae😅😅
I have to ask where you got that cute shirt from in this video, I love the art style on it so much. Also, just subscribed because I love long-form content like this!
@@lunamoth9824Kina and Tam a couple of years ago! 💕
just like the term “egg” is used to describe a trans person who doesn’t yet know they’re trans, i think we should start using the word “ken” to describe a fundie on the brink of deconstruction
I love that. We totally should.
Love that idea!
😂 i love this idea
We need more Ken in the world
Omg yes. We gotta save the Ken’s
Bethany: how dare they bash capitalism while benefiting from it. Meanwhile, Bethany bashes feminism while totally benefiting from it.
It’s also impossible not to participate in our capitalist system. We have no choice (I’m a socialist, bring on the revolution 😂) Bethany, on the other hand, absolutely has a choice to bash feminism.
Exactly. She‘d be a perpetually drugged up miserable housewife if her brainwashed ideal world were still in place. It‘s baffling really to see someone like her so caught up in this hateful ideology but alas this is severe childhood brainwashing so it‘s not shocking. It is doubtful that she‘ll ever get out of thid with a family so tied into this cult and them having a chokehold on her. She couldn‘t snap out of this so easily let alone make it out without severe mental and possibly also physical bruising.
@laurenwalker1048 this right here!
You can even have valid criticisms of a movement, because striving for better is actually a good thing to do in a movement, especially one that is progressive. But it seems pretty ironic how GD uses the feminist ladder to get where they are and then want to light it on fire
Just have communism in your own state. Why bring the rest of the country into a new system, when only you want it?@@laurenwalker1048
There's also a difference here: capitalism is an unwilling/inescapable (thus far) situation which affords some people benefit/privilege, another is being born white, yet one can try to dismantle white privilege and work against capitalism and for more socialist policies.
Then there's what Bethany is doing which is not living consistently with that she preaches while having the power to change it.
She's actively claiming the rights and benefits afforded to her by feminism, like the right to own her own business, in her own name, and make and KEEP her own money instead of not having those rights or automatically losing all those rights once she got married.
She's not being a traditional wife or anti feminist, just claiming the label for her brand.
She's teaching a modern, comparatively more glamorous and cosmopolitan version of Christianity than was taught in previous decades because that's what works for her.
Even if she did become a stay at home mom with no job she STILL isn't "traditional " in the real sense - she still has benefits feminism won her - divorce protection and his obligation to pay child support if he's the sole or main breadwinner, rights to bodily autonomy so her husband doesn't get to legally sexually abuse her unlike laws of decades past, etc.
And I'm sure she doesn't want to give up her right to vote and let her husband as Biblical head of the household and in charge of the wife make that super important decision for her.
Feminism isn't something she accidentally benefits from, it's something she purposely lives by even if she won't admit it and can hide behind the Overton window making such feminism seem "just normal" in modern times and therefore not something that needs to be acknowledged by name.
So bizarre that a fairly decent barbie review came from the husband of a girl defined lady. Hope he has a safe place to go as he deconstructs
This!!!
I'm pretty sure he has a non religious therapist. It's only a matter of time! 🤞🤞🤞
I’m not Christian but, it’s okay to be Christian and hold that stance, even like & enjoy & support the Barbie movie? Can someone explain why everyone’s hellbent on him deconstructing? Like I’m hoping he realizes all the stuff he was fed about women and society was garbage, but if he wants to be Christian he still can be.
@@forlorndreams You make a good point. Sometimes I forget there are decent Christians out there
@@forlorndreamsI sort of see it like an alcoholic saying “well just one drink is fine” when they’ve never been sober. If you’re as deep in the fundamentalist sauce as these two it’s best to become fully separated from the church to find identity of self and sense of morality from non-Christian views before you can settle into being a non-harmful Christian.
Barbie DEFINITELY got into some existential shit. The main character literally decided that she preferred to become human and mortal rather than exist as an immortal stereotypical idea, and the fact that she would eventually die as a result of becoming a whole person was made VERY explicit.
Omg she’s like Eve 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
@@NinetiesBBwait omg 😭❤️🩹
@@NinetiesBB You know, that hadn't occurred to me but you're absolutely right.
@@NinetiesBBexcept Eve was thrown out of Eden. By a patriarchal god...Barbie CHOOSE to be mortal.
@@NinetiesBB YOU JUST OPENED A WHOLE NEW CAN OF WORMS
It’s so sad to see two people just trapped with each other like Paul & Morgan. They’ve got the chemistry of two, non matching, pre assembled ikea chairs . Just, woof.
Right???
Bethany has sacrificed _so_ _much_ to conform to the gendered expectations put on her, and she has to suffer all these daily indignities in service of patriarchy in total silence where she's not allowed to to criticize. And I think, coming back from this movie, it's insulting for Bethany hear her husband is so uncommitted to this ideology, and so unaware, that a two hour movie can move the needle. Bethany has painfully subjugated her own needs and desires her whole life, metes out judgement against women all the time, she never laughs, she's constantly simmering with anger in her videos, all so that she can fit into God's impossible plan.
All that suffering.... for David to see a 2 hr movie about a children's toy and come home like, "Huh, woa, men are in charge of women.... what's up with that? Is that fair? What a trip. haha okay well I'm going go to bed now. that's crazy. night hun."
You win the internet today! This is the best metaphor/comparison (or what the eff ever…) I’ve seen in a long time (and I taught English).
@@wolfumz you put it to words
P&M seem to actively hate each other
Bethie rolls her eyes and sticks out her tongue in disgust quite often when her husband speaks; she doesn't seem to listen to understand or to intellectually engage. She seems like she can't wait for him to finish a thought so she can throw out a thought-stopping cliche from a high-demand cult.
Totally
I recall hearing a study that eye rolling/ contempt towards your partner is the numbre one key indicator of impending divorce. I can't remember the source.
@@CarolineIronwillit's probably one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse (John Gotman? Or something)! Contempt, criticism, stonewalling, and something else... 🤔
Absolutely. And the amount af grace that he's giving her is way too much.
@@CarolineIronwillit’s a sign of disrespect and superiority
I feel like Dave is realizing his wife is brainwashed Barbie and he doesn’t know how to feel about it
Man's known for a while, he was hoping the film would show her and realised it didn't work.
That is insult to Barbie. She’s a doctor after all.
@@qwandaryomg he did? Has he talked about this before?
@@angiematasOf course not. How could he talk about it if that’s what he’s thinking? He couldn’t go on the internet and proclaim he’s deconstructing and his wife is brainwashed while living with her.
When the Stepfords start short circuiting...
It seems like Bethany is so undereducated that she can't understand most of what Dav is saying. Her parents version of homeschooling is child abuse
Critical thinking is hard communism; did you forget the home schooling motto? Now go and sit in the Prayer Closet.
Exactly… she is unable to critically analyze the film, regardless of whether she agrees with it or not. Being able to comprehend and understand something you don’t necessarily agree with is a sign of intelligence and decent education which she is clearly lacking.
I am just gonna say... She found out what s e x actually is from a child's book of a kid she was babysitting as late teenager herself. Thats just disturbing.
They were agreeing with each other the whole time though. It seemed like she agreed wholeheartedly with everything she said and he her.
@@kul2130Wow
It’s sad to see as Dave has been open about his struggles with depression and s*icidal ideation. She displays zero compassion.
That's what gets to me so much. He's publicly talked about his struggles with his mental health and she's STILL sticking her tongue out and rolling her eyes at his thoughts and feelings. I don't doubt her attitude toward him is contributing to his unhappiness.
That's super depressing. I truly hope he gets the help he needs and moves on with his life. No one deserves their struggles dismissed like that, especially by the person that's supposed to be your rock, your partner in life.
Nothing kills someone's spirit quite like contempt.
@@ashleyhall6098it was very courageous of him to speak out like that even when he’s got a hater right next to him, that’s some strength, hope his life gets better
I feel like this is because Bethany feels like she have compromise and sacrifice so much of her own human condition to fit into this perfect fundie image that she feels like Dav is just not as devoted to the God therefore that’s why he’s depressed.
Because if Dav is more devoted and part of god’s perfect plan and role, you wouldn’t be depressed.
It’s probably why she have no sympathy for him because if she can do it why wouldn’t he? Very typical right wing old school belief, if I suffered you need to too.
I think it's weird when any woman has disdain towards feminism. And then it's EXTRA weird and confusing that she chose to marry this guy who doesn't seem to have as much disdain for feminism as SHE does.
Definitely. Idk much about him, never heard him speak before this & I'm shocked at how unequally yoked they are.
I think it's probably because she didn't really get the chance to get to know him (and vice versa from Dave's side), before getting married. From what I've heard, they didn't even hold hands on dates so I can't imagine they talked about their deeply held beliefs and perspectives outside of their religion. It's very sad/disturbing that they're only discovering each other's true POV years after marriage and children 😮
The point they made about the start about being anti-feminist and self-hating was very valid imo: "The more a woman hates herself the more she hates women in general". Bethany is not very smart or a critical thinker. She also hates herself, so all she has is regurgitated talking points and hate for other women.
I guess if you don't feel you have many positive points to compete on, tearing down the competition is really all you have.
The guy is smart, and seems he is kinda trapped. I think it can take longer for Christian men to deconstruct than Christian women, *particularly* if they have a very fundy wife. Because religion favours men and that level of privelege makes it hard to see clearly, especially if "the woman likes it", then who is he to argue.
I still find it hard to believe that he didn't deconstruct earlier given his obvious intelligence, but it's way easier to be a feminist if you're a woman and acutely suffer the consequences of a misogynistic society.
Dave do yourself a favor and take the kids and run!
Yeah, well, that's the whole thing. These women don't think of marriage as a "choice", they think of it as an obligation, and they're supposed to do it YOUNG. So they just trip into the nearest guy that's passable enough and their parents don't disaprove of.
I love that the dude was like "they didn't say she didn't want romance she just didn't want romance with the men available at the point in time of the movie" dude is sounding woke AF
Girl Defined: the misogyny is coming from inside the house 😂
From the hausfrau no less!
Que the super scary music! Eek! Eek! Eek!
It's all funny when you watch one extremist video, it's far less funny when you realize that loads of women perpetuate misogynistic views.
Every single one of his reactions to her analysis. Every time he pulled away from her. Him going back and forth between feeling for her and caressing her back to comfort her to being taken aback and borderline disgusted by her analysis, and being internally defensive. I feel so bad for him.😢
!!!!!!!
@@ZelphOntheShelfPoor bloke.
I feel so sad for Dave. He looks like his spirit is being crushed. Dave - if by chance you read this, I think you're great, you are Kenough and the secular world, while not perfect (nowhere is!) has plenty of love and understanding to offer you. We await you with open arms!!
He could also, with the help of therapy and self-reflection, work out a healthier way to be a Christian. That's what I've done...I've given myself permission to ditch the most toxic parts of fundamentalism, while still loving Jesus, believing in God, and identifying as Christian. However, everyone is different and I can definitely understand and empathize with why someone might completely leave religion altogether.
He needs her for his beard.
@@maryannvalerio9869 When you boil down Christianity, it pretty much is a socialist utopic religion. House/feed/clothe everyone, the meek inherit the earth, the rich cannot enter heaven, you have to do nothing but believe for salvation, pray in your closet, reach out to the outcasts and help them, etc. Nothing Jesus did in the bible was conservative in nature at all! Its wild to me how twisted it has become since.
@@lilywong9672oh.... This. What do we know about his conversion therapy?
@@maryannvalerio9869very true. Like many other beliefs and ideologies, there is so much variance within the church. There are many ways to have a healthy Christ centered relationship, in ways that are compassionate, rooted in society and social justice, loving, non racist, away from prosperity gospel and
I feel like Beth’s husband wants to have a real conversation about all the issues raised in barbie but is scared he will piss Beth off. It’s a shame.
He seems like a genuinely sweet guy, too, I’ve always thought so.
Also they just came out of the movie so they had time to think about it more and he seems to have so much he wants to talk about. I wonder how their talk on their way home about the movie was was she even more hostile and reserved yikes
It seemed to be that she was getting insulted by him saying that he enjoyed it on an "intellectual level". You can see that she interpreted that as him calling her dumb which I dont think was the intention. Im shocked that she filmed this with him instead of doing it by herself if she was so insulted by him.
Dav is the only one of the fundie-influencers I want to sit down with and have a conversation about beliefs because he seems capable of having that conversation. Bethy and Paul and those folks would refuse to engage with any level of sincerity, but I think Dav would.
Even if I disagree with some of his views, he seems at least capable of independent thought and consideration.
Of all the members of the Girl Defined cast, I never expected Dav to be the one to join the chat and start thinking critically
Dav always gave me huge queer or at least gender non-conforming vibes. Regardless of if that is or I true, I'm rooting for him
He's the youngest one by like five years! Gotta remind yourself how old Bethany is, that she isn't 23, and that she's still this stupid.
I think Bethany being the “target audience” for the Barbie movie and empowering woman caused her to be SUPER in denial about everything and ironically (with how much that was thrown around in their video) cause actual cognitive dissonance for her. so her gut reaction is “no” and fall back into her programming of what women are supposed to be. Whereas for her husband, it’s more theoretical and he can play with the ideas psychologically rather than have to apply any of it realistically to his own life (also he seemed WAY less committed to filling his “christian” role throughout the video where Bethany has to still play her fundy christian character since it’s her channel). I do think her husband was engaging more genuinely with the movie, and I appreciated most of his takes from a nuanced perspective because it wasn’t just gut reaction based on the Fundamentalist Christian perspective. Loved the references to Tanner’s own deconstruction and hope the best for Dav
Spot on+
100%
I think the whole "Ken seeks validation from Barbie" is what those "alpha" podcasters promote. That men only have validity if they get girls, it totally mirrors reality
Can confirm from someone who used to be in red pill spaces when I was younger. Dave actually did a pretty good flip between "nice guys" and "alpha males" and showing how both are part of codependency thus unhealthy.
@@ethanstumpif you don't mind me asking, how'd you get out? What attracted you to it in the first place and how deep did you get? I'm glad to hear you've recovered!
@@woofawoof7616 it's a complexer & convoluted tale than what I'm about to share, but it was while i was losing faith in my Mormon upbringing, & when Jordan peterson was becoming popular. my involvement was always online, sometimes public, sometimes anon, but it was at the level of follower. never donated or anything like that, but i would watch a variety of content from different creators, from sandman/happy hermit/paul elam/ TF monkey & more. the thing that attracted me to it was a transition from the religious right of my childhood to a more secular/political new alt right that was in ascendency, as i watched sargon & others, as i became of age to vote & was still right wing at the time. plus my insecurity as a small loner nerd & my absolutely atrocious dating record outside of Mormonism led to me absorbing a lot of the propaganda of the right. what got me out... was becoming disabled and understanding capitalism's inbuilt ableism, and becoming a socialist as a result of it. once you absorb enough of the left, somethings start to make a lot more sense. i would recommend Yugopniks video on why capitalism ruined romance.
@@ethanstump first, I'm really glad you got out and are recovering.
Second, thank you for sharing your story. It's really valuable to understand how we can protect boys from these sorts of predatory movements. I think also acknowledging how toxic patriarchal systems impact men and actively working to fix that would go a long way in making the movement unappealing. Would you have any thoughts on that? Thank you again!
@@woofawoof7616 no problem, thank you for listening. while this might be a bit much for some, to me the domination of women is an outgrowth largely to our reliance of large scale domination writ whole, that is war. patriarchy increased heavily during the monotheistic shift, which was a period heavily influenced by war. reducing war and permanent formal offensive structures would go a long way to creating a world where there is less justification for patriarchy. i rely heavily on feminists such as Emma Goldman for my analysis. patriarchy simply cannot be maintained in an environment starved of large scale coercion. as for whether or not large scale permanent war structures are necessary to the continued existence of society, i lean on anthropologist david graebers book "the dawn of everything". in it, he show's various groups of various complexities that do not have permanent war structures that nonetheless maintained a cohesive and technically complex groups of serious population during that time. patriarchy cannot exist without war, and the way to reduce the prevalence of war is to reduce and abolish structures that perpetuate and maintain incentives for war, that is profit from war, and the MIC. no, you can't completely get rid of war, but you can get rid of formal structures that seek to maintain it.
For someone with a hardon for patriarchy, Bethy sure doesn’t display even the slightest modicum of respect for her “headship.” She’s like a less intellectual Phyllis Schlafly.
She looks to me like she’s trying really hard to appear supportive while she disagrees with the things he’s saying- which, what else are you gonna do?
@@lindseytallent2855 but she rolls her eyes and sticks out her tongue while he says things that don’t follow the patriarchal fundie Christian line.
Ahhh as Leeja Miller proclaimed in a recent video - Phyllis MFin’ Schlafly!
Which is also weird because I don't think she could realistically be married to a more "manly man traditional man" because like, would be even want her to have a UA-cam channel and a ministry? Like HER IDEAL version of a man would not like her
Dav still has a long way to go and I hope he continues this way of deconstructing and ends up in a more happy life 😌
Love to see Bethany's Ken learning his worth💖 We're all rooting for him! Deconstruction is hard but so so worth it
Is he realising that he is KENough?
Hopefully
You got me with Bethy's "whole thing being 'why are all the guys in the movie so dumb?' but your husband is smart and you don't like him" 😂
Is it weird that I want to introduce Dave and Morgan? Like a social experiment. Bare minimum they can commiserate about their spouses.
I was just thinking that!
No because why did I have the same thought!!!
I want to introduce Morgan to a secular therapist. Dav is already in secular therapy and look at him grow!!
@@christinafedderke3751aw omg i love that for him!! i’m so happy he’s seeking help from an outside voice
They do know each other and shill each other's products all the time!
What's so ironic is Bethany being unable to conceptualize what it means to be enough with out Jesus/God there to determine who she should be means that she is exactly like Ken at the beginning of the movie- utterly unable to have a good day unless she feels someone else looking down on her and giving her attention/approval.
Barbie is to Ken what Jesus is to Bethany
The way Bethany keeps calling the movie serious reminds me of when I went to see Bridesmaids and cried in the car afterwards because of personal stuff the movie reminded me of. Using her logic I should have told everyone that Bridesmaids was tragic and emotionally draining. It's like, babe, just because it scared you doesn't make it scary to everyone, you just have really messed up references for what is normal
Ahhh Bridesmaids was so funny haha
I cried during Bridesmaids too 😂😥. Anyone who's hit rock bottom can identify with the humor in the pain.
This whole discussion is so good. The "it's better to be suffering than to think you are enough" part especially. My mother has told me a few times that she hopes, someday, I hit a low enough point that I am able to find god. I've told her I feel fulfilled without religion, and that should be a good thing, but it's wild to me that someone could wish that for their own child and be so convinced it actually would be a better thing. This kind of mentality is so damaging, and at the end of the day, I just feel for her. That she can't find that fulfillment and has to spend her whole life dreaming of the day when maybe she'll get her validation after she dies.
💜💜💜💜
Also, I agree with your point that her husband is totally wasted on her. Most women would kill, *KILL* for a guy who is attractive, attentive and not only respectful, but actively interested in being a good and loving partner, like he is. But it sounds like this Girl Defined character would honestly be more content and comfortable with a misogynistic toolbag who mirrored her views. Gahhhhh! Life is so unfair. Great content btw, this is the first vid I've seen of yours but have subscribed!
I can't STAND the most mysogonistic ass women who end up with the best self aware men ever 😭😭🙄 like bitch HOW?!? Like Ayesha Curry with Steph Curry 🙄 Steph is the perfect guy, but Ayesha is unsufferable. I bet if these women ended up with trash men, they would think twice about their twisted opinions and the stupid a$$ men they defend 😂 anyways, men like Dav eventually learn their worth and get sick and tired of these ladies... I hope Dav can deconstruct and get a divorce bc poor guy 😅 I'd be miserable too if I was stuck with Bethany
as a Fundie Fridays Jennonite, i’ve been patiently awaiting the day of Dav’s awaKening for a long time now. it’s become so obviously inevitable that i can already feel the pain of everything he is about to lose and have to grow out of. we love you Dav! stay strong! you are Kenough! 💖
Love Jen & King James lol
His life with Bethany must be purgatorial. Maybe we could find a time when we could all clap together, and shout "I do believe in Dāv, I do, I do!" Just out of pity, if nothing else.
Oh he's deconstructing now haha and I liked their video together, Beth showed love and empathy towards him. Happy to see they're working through it.
I’ve never clicked a video so fast. Dav’s awakening is truly incredible to see. And hilarious. we do live in the weirdest timeline.
Dav does seem pretty intelligent sometimes...which could be why Bethy seems to be dismissive of what he says, because she just doesn't really understand what he's saying. It's hard for women in these groups because they are so blocked from education (I had a really tough time when I was in it).
When I was in that, I would sometimes get really annoyed and frustrated with my husband, whenever he expressed anything that sort of undermined the importance of our patriarchal hierarchy, and my submission and stuff, because it was already so hard to stuff myself into that role, I couldn’t let there be any cracks.
@@lindseytallent2855that’s really insightful. Thank you for mentioning it. I think it helps me understand how the women in these groups often seem to hold onto the structure more than the men.
@lindseytallent2855 Oh I never would’ve considered that on my own. That’s super interesting. And scary.
Bethany can’t acknowledge the doofy men bc her “right” to have a platform is entirely contingent on never, ever criticizing men
Except her husband apparently. She saves it all up and dumps it on him
@@ashleyhall6098 ha
talking about the barbie movie is literally the happiest ive ever seen dav 😭
You actually like it
@@blaizegottman4139you okay? You’ve left numerous negative comments on this video
Bethany: I liked all the surface level stuff
Dave: I liked the message the movie was sending, but i have to express it in a filtered way because Bethany is right next to me
I remember when Dav was introduced and everyone said he was gay. I think he left this impression on people just because he's not like the stereotypical American christian man? I think he is willing to show more volnerability and thoughtfulness(although very little by normal people standards). I don't think he knows what he is yet and I hope he gets away from this woman and finds out.❤
Both of Girl Defined husbands are "ex-gay" LOL They've said it themselves on video.
@@Rage_Harder_Then_RelaxI thought this was debunked
@@Rage_Harder_Then_Relaxwhat video? Do you have any prove?
If they aren’t gay then they are definitely soy boys with little testosterone. He’s the type that would hold her purse while they shop.
Of course he's gay. Only an ex-gay would marry a troll like her for the cover-up.
Bethie so obviously can't stand that he has his own opinion that doesn't align with hers...and that he has good insight whereas she's just miserable and closed minded.
But she also can't criticize him directly because of his position over her as a man and head of the family. It's such a fascinating dynamic.
@@kimilynP It's quite something to see her have to reckon with the reality of what she signed up for, as far as being a submissive wife assuming because she "did it the right way" relationship/marriage wise that they would just automatically be in sync...
Yoo her side eye is hilarious. Both her and her sister are can’t hide their facial expressions.
Her reaction to him talking about the movie was disgusting. Watching him talk about the movie is absolutely adorable though, it's always so much fun to see people talk about things that mean something to them, and very clearly this movie meant something to him. The saddest part is seeing him try to pull that back for the camera. I would love to see him just talk about the movie without worrying about what his wife thinks.
Honestly I'm so excited for Dav to embrace his open mindedness! And Bethany... well my heart goes out to her as she is clearly feeling the deep worthiness wounds that are repeatedly cut by Christianity.
She has been conditioned to think that women are not likeable when they take themselves seriously 😐
Which is extra rich considering how seriously she takes herself and how unlikeable she is
Barbie is an absurd movie and very funny but it's a woman's writing and execution. Bethany thinking the movie is boring is giving conservatives (men specifically) in the comment section on a female comedians videos being "Where's the joke?"
Women CAN'T ever win. We're too serious but when we're funny we're trying too hard and not actually funny. Like make it make sense!!
“A man with his clone from his rib populated the world through incest” I had to pause and slow clap. A fantastic line!
It is quite obvious why Bethy married him. The real question is why he married her. Especially considering that he did not grow up fundamentalist (or so I read). I’m quite sure, this is also one of the questions he is working on with his therapist, after he “hit a wall of disappointment after 4 years of marriage “ (this is a quote from his infamous instagram post).
You want to know my guess? One or both of his parents do have a personality disorder - and his strange marriage (and converting to Bethy’s brand of fundamentalism in the first place) are a re-enactment of his childhood attachment trauma.
And his therapist seems to be very, very skilled, because he seems to help him effectively in the only way that is tolerable for Dav at his current stage of developing his own self: he works with him on defining a self, “staying true” non-judgementally to his self, his opinion, his perception, his emotions - without trying to be heard, seen, validated by is wife or anyone else. And notably without trying to change her, or convince her or influence her, if he can bear it.
Because getting in a discussion with her would only deepen the enmeshment she is trying to establish ALL THE TIME WITH LITERALLY EVERYBODY. I don’t think she knows how to be in relationship with anyone in her life any other way.
I see him using “ninja-boundaries” on her all the time , also in this video, - using humor, distraction, pseudo-agreeable non-agreeableness 😊, some “grey rock”- communication (responding in bland, boring ways until difficult personalities lose interest or tire themselves out on their own etc.) - all techniques a good therapist would teach somebody to enable him to hold onto his developing self under an enmeshing, pressuring and/or abusive, unsafe environment.
Remember when he answered the question on whether it hurts him that his wife constantly talks about their inadequate sex life? He said he intentionally uses this as an opportunity to practice retaining his self worth independently of what others think of him. That sounds like a skillful therapist mirroring him and strengthening his development of a sense of self in a non-threatening, patient way while remaining completely neutral of the outcome. I love to see results of good therapeutic work, very inspiring!
And by the way you are spot on with your „diagnosed with depression vibes“, he did talk in his instagram about needing treatment because of his suicidal ideation. You should do a reaction video to those.
Whoah, where’s his Instagram?!
I would love to see you guys react to Our most open marriage conversation yet on the Girl Defined Channel. There is this amazing moment when Dav says he was “using her language “ while quoting scripture at her during a conflict, and she answers along the lines of “ why MY language, we’re both Christians…”
It becomes so obvious that he is perceptive to and receives a very different style of counseling compared to her.
Would love to hear your thoughts on that.
Well, i watched Dav‘s lives in Rachel Oates The Saga of Bethany Beal It is very long but well done and we’ll worth the watch (though her conclusion with regards to Bethy is way to generous). If you don‘t want to watch the whole thing, she starts talking about Dav‘s development at around the 2 hour mark and shows his posts.
Youre making me want his therapist cause i feel like sometimes i lack a sense of self. Maybe oneday ill be kenough too
Bethie frowning and shaking her head while her husband talks about a joke he liked is so insane. He seems so much more reflective and open-minded than I would have ever expected from someone married to her.
Tell me girlies; is it anti-biblical-womanhood to understand movies? 😂🙌🏻
I mean haha....
Yes? Christianity relies on not questioning anything. No critical thinking in evangelicalism.
I started tearing up genuinely when Dave was talking about Barbie having to conform to stereotypical expectations and Bethany was just sitting there looking super uncomfortable.. their whole dynamic is just deeply deeply sad
also most of Dave's commentary was like extremely shocking in how it can be directly applied to fundamentalism
also why did this video give me a crush on Dave
He's everything
She's just Bethy
THIS
This was amazing! The woman just seethes through the entire thing; her anger is palpable. And the husband seems to be... going on a familiar journey! I'm so excited for him! (Hopefully he continues!)
Also (as a side note), this "boomer" thinks the two of you are so fabulous! I left the cult you are most familiar with 11 years ago - when I was in my fifties. I'm a bit envious of those of you who were able to break away at a MUCH younger age!
💜💜💜💜💜!
That’s amazing you left at all. It must have taken real strength.
"To be a centrist in America is to be conservative, let's be real." Say it louder for the people in the back!
Dave is SO CLOSE to getting it. He's talking about the right things without applying it to himself
Who knows, he might be but he sure as hell won't be saying it in a video like that 👀
Bethenny is very opinionated and assertive and doesn't have submissive body language. She doesn't raise the pitch of her voice. It gives me hope that she could possibly get out of her shit someday. She has access to her anger. That's good.
I was watching an interview cults to consciousness did with Irene’s entropy and Irene and Bethany have really similar vibes. Irene’s past also is so similar to Bethany’s present in terms of aggressively upholding teachings that devalue and restrict them
Wrong, fanatic religious people like her never chance, she's a lost cause
Honestly, I think he's going to be the one who gets out first. Barbie seems to have been a weirdly awakening experience for him.
Something tells me that therapy has helped it develop some of these views, because a good therapist would want him to be healthy in all regards of his life. It just illustrates how important having people outside your high control group can benefit critical thinking
This. Absolutely.
I haven't finished listening to his analysis yet, but so far it's pretty on point and you can tell how much he loved this movie and how much it spoke to him and I'm here for it!
Bethy repeatedly complaining that the movie and theme is too serious is another version of "it's not that deep." Pretending the issue being brought up doesn't matter that much is the easiest way to deflect from actual critically thinking about the argument.
👏🏻
I am a little under halfway through and I personally can't believe after filming and editing this video that they decided to post it. It's not just that he liked it, but that this displays his curiosity and fundamentally different world views he has or is creating separate from her. I will never be so mean as to cheer on the fall of someone's marriage, but I am very happy for him in that he found a lot of joy in the movie and that it might be helping him to find himself outside of her and fundamentalism.
I'm loving all the fundies saying "There isn't enough humour", no girl you just missed it. Somehow.
Like Joe Rogan got it, it’s not hard to get the humor.
This seems like it's going to be interesting going forward. The dude was blissfully unaware of the box he was in, and the Barbie movie just showed him. Hope it catalyses his deconstruction, and that ideally, he can help her out too.
The fact that he’s willing to openly question other conservatives is a pretty green flag
I watched this video when it came out, but just came back to watch it again after Dav said in their recent video that 1. this one was the first girl defined critical video he's watched (maybe ever?), 2. he loved this video to the point that he became a huge fan of your channel and watched a lot more of your videos afterwards, and 3. this video was a major defining point in his deconstruction journey. He even said that he showed it to Bethany! And like that's all awesome but watching this again, I'm struck by some of the things he had to have heard in this video and actually been receptive to... for example, straight up mentioning that Bethany/Kristen have nazi ancestors that they're weirdly proud of? All the leftist talking points? Veeeery interesting 👀
Genuinely, Dav just gave me an even deeper and better understanding of the movie in multiple ways.
If every Zelph candle purchase guaranteed that a billionaire's yacht was sunk, that would be amazing 😂
The funny thing is that Bethany is right about the shallowness (and Dav is right about the corporate-ness) of the movie, it's very much White (cis, hetero) Feminism and doesn't really say anything new. I really enjoyed the movie and I think everyone should see it!! Especially those who need a kind of Feminism 101 course lol but it is hypocritical and tries to do more than I can do within the scope of its corporate backing. But Bethany's critique doesn't come from wanting more and better feminism, she just thinks it's all bad lmao
I am so glad to hear somebody else call it feminism 101 because it did seem so shallow to me! But it’s a good entrée for a lot of people, I’m sure
@@lindseytallent2855 I didn't come up with it, I read it somewhere else. But it's a good description so I use it lol. Agreed on all fronts
@@lindseytallent2855 I kinda agree. When I hear "white girl feminism" I think of girlboss feminism, and I do think this movie actually criticized a lot of that.
For example, Babies whole arc as a character is just wanting to be a person instead of the idea/ sole representative of feminism. Which is unlike movies like Mulan, or Captain marvel, who are embodiments of the opposite.
This movie also commentated on how the consumerisation of social movements ultimately doesn't work, that is the first thing she learned when going into the real world.
The oxymoron of that message is that this movie is the epitome of that consumerism, so I can see why people can see the message as shallow, or missing entirely, because the movie is what the movie is commentating on. Also because of the big feminist speech at the end. But I do think that this movie criticizes some of those ideals albeit imperfectly.
This is more like intersectional feminism 101. For those who don't know the difference between girlboss/white women/radical feminism.
i find barbie to be old news to feminists but maybe a newer idea for the general audience, which is the demographic a blockbuster with all of this press wants. i think it could read better internationally as well. if they went into the nuance of modern western feminist discussion that includes race, class, etc., it would alienate a lot of people who aren’t familiar with “feminism 101.”
@@megan-mr9vk I agree! Some people need feminism 101. I just think that the hype about it being somehow groundbreaking is a little overstated, that's all!
I feel so bad for both of them. She's doing back flips to justify her low self esteem while resenting anyone who doesn't hate themselves as much as she does. And he deserves to be able to have intellectual and philosophical conversations and figure out what actually makes sense for him.
The points the woman makes are standard conservative talking points. The guy's points are intelligent and intellectual. He reminds me of when I was a Christian and trying to find intellectual talking points to back it up because it didn't make any sense (I would often trip over myself in the process). If he's still involved in fundamenatalist Christianity in 10 years I'll be surprised.
Totally. I was briefly a late in life Christian at 18, was baptized, etc, but never felt that I could be myself especially in discussions regarding life. If you have any view points outside of the accepted dogma then everyone else is uncomfortable and you get no where. I left soon after
About the universal Kate McKinnon love, I think it’s more that she gets a pass because she is considered by everyone in both universes of the movie to be undesirable. She doesn’t challenge any preconceived notion they have about gender because she is not considered worthy or attractive in the film. Even at the end she asks to work in sanitation so she stays in the weird realm, sexless and in no way a threat to conservatives’ fragile idea of femininity.
I'll say, in the Barbie movie, I think Kens were actively barred from holding political office, because at the end the President says they will now be allowed to have *some* seats in the congress or whatever it is, just to clarify. But yeah it's still not a full flip of patriarchy lol. No Kens getting diagnosed with hysteria or anything
You need a womb to be hysterical.
@@Constantin9vaso if we reversed it would be testeria? Originating in the testes? 😂
@@MrCynthisOr a pain in the bollocks? (This word may only be used in British English, but it's well worth looking up.)
@@Constantin9vaYes, because it’s traveling inside the body an by that causing the symptoms 😂
This whole video I kept thinking "how did he get stuck with her??? How???" Like divorce is a mean thing to wish on a couple but he needs out. And he can find a different christian wife, but dude, get out of **this** particular marriage lmao. Sincerely, I wish him the best.
I guess they got stuck with each other :/ but he seems capable of a much more mature level of connection
36:20 Absolutely unreal coming back to this video after the week’s developments. I cannot believe the progress they’ve made individually and as a couple 🥺
I reeeally enjoyed the cat joining the discussion. Very cute and had compelling points. The feline opinion is important to me.
That’s Banksy, he is very wise and also arrogant :)
I'm really glad I decided to tune in to this episode, as I've lowkey followed Girl Defined for a year or more. (By "followed" I mean keep tabs on their business, since I view them as a highly destructive force for young women.) Anyway, pointing out that Bethany cannot imagine being "enough" by herself is hitting the nail on the head. It made me really sad but also really angry - because I'm stuck in the same boat. I have now been atheist for 10 years and strong secular humanist for a bit fewer years. Despite having escaped so long ago, I am stil haunted by the trauma of my religious upbringing. I was in a "Quiverfull" community in the Southeast USA. I still don't think I'm enough. I'm not really sure if I can ever love myself even after a decade of therapy. Look everyone. This is what religion does to you. This is what is does when it catches hold of you.
🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵
I know it might not be much, but you’re Kenough for me
The moment he rolled his eyes as she dismissed female empowerment around 37:04 or so lol. Part of me, on the serious side, does wonder, if he deconstructs will they divorce, or will she pivot her brand without her bestie (the other half of GDM) and be like, "Listen girls, God is dead. And let me tell you why purity culture harms people?" Because the grift is the most important thing.
It's so sad/harmful that for Bethany only flawless perfection is acceptable. To her being a "good enough" person means being a perfect person. That's a sick mindset.
👏🏻
"Cuse she lived in the world of shiny happy people and her world had to be cracked!"
YES DAVE!
"I can't raw dog Girl Defined" seriously
Came here to find this comment 😂😂😂
Bethany and Dav waited to kiss until marriage and it was OBVIOUS. The kiss was SO WEIRD lol
SO WEIRD
Dav is a graphic designer. So the tech bro/fundie wife look is legit
If Bethany was married to a true Fundamentalist husband I feel like she wouldn't have a channel in the first place, and be talking over him etc
Bethany is more up in arms about how men are portrayed then her husband is.
Also, I feel like he is describing her lifestyle when he’s discussing impacts of the patriarchy on women.
I like how Tanner is liberally lifting his style from George Michaels
As he should
@@ZelphOntheShelfYou mean ABSOLUTELY FLAWLESS
Lol he clearly took Gotta Have Faith in a unique direction
@@T_Cup yeah its a modern update to Faith era George Michaels. It's a really good look. Props.
Tanner was spot on with the diagnosed with depression vibes because he has openly talked about being suicidal and going into therapy
:(
@@ZelphOntheShelf :(
Just in case you forgot, This guy DID have an existential crisis of sorts, he was deeply depressed in their relationship and I think he said he was suicidal. Right around the time she was showing off about how horny she was and how much she loved sex...
Their relationship is a mess.
Got caught up with all that after filming this, so so sad :(
@@ZelphOntheShelf Yeah it's upsetting seeing how emotionally closed off she is to his needs and likely her own.
I worry for their kid(s) too :(
@@qwandary my parents are exactly like this, and the turnout (if they stay together) seems to be (from experience):
dad stays for the kids (which, I am so grateful for cuz I cannot handle my mom alone)
dad has long meaningful conversations abt life, existence, and space with his kids
dad is lovely in general, funny and likeable
mom is the discipline in the house
mom is christian and refuses to question her values
mom believes the only thing worth focusing on is your personal future and work (and is therefore usually less socially aware than the dad)
when the kid grows up and tries to become their own person, dad steps back and lets them make their own mistakes while mom is still trying to hang on to when the kid was young and opinionless by constantly berating them and only talking through nagging about things (ive had my mother tell me she wished I was a young kid again when I used to agree with everything she said)
kid will end up having a very closed off relationship with the mom and a more open but still closed relationship with the dad because the dad has given up trying to go against the mom and will just unenthusiastically support her tantrums and placate her.
honestly no one wants to be stuck in this house, my dad gets grumpy and short-tempered if hes not working, i like school better than home and stay there till five, she works from home.
plenty of times when my dad and i talk about something we like, my mom usually cuts in at some point to tell us we're wasting our time talking about these things that dont matter and instead should be talking about more important things, like homework or my grades.
“See you on our channel in 9 months” 👀😂
👏👏👏👏 😂😂😂😂
Bethany looks like she's dying slowly and watching her marriage crumble before her eyes as her husband dares disagrees with her...
Not just her marriage, her brand crumbling
Bethy seems like a very unpleasant person to share your life with. Here Dav is, excitedly talking about the concepts explored in the movie and how they resonated with him. And she's sitting there like a bored middle schooler in a lecture openly showing how much she wishes he'd stfu. How many times behind closed doors do you think she's said something like "Uhhhg, it's NOT that deep!! Will you stop talking about it? It wasn't even fun anyway!" When he's tried to talk with her about it? How many times has she gotten angry because he said he enjoyed it? You know, we tend to focus on toxic men in these fundie pairings. But we forget women in these communities can be just as bad. You can tell Bethy has a VERY strong, firey personality and even stronger opinions. Which isn't a bad thing at all on it's own. But she also doesn't seem to have a lot of respect for other people, much less people who disagree with her. She seems like the kind of person who could really wear you down and, I kinda feel sorry for Dav. Fingers crossed he wakes up and sees that he is enough...
She lacks intelligence. She doesn’t have the intellectual capacity to entertain other ideas and still feel strongly in her own. I agree, she would be a very very hard person to live with.
People still assuming that Ken and Barbie were supposed to be together, the whole point was for barbie to never have a serious relationship with him. This has been well known for a very long time. He was made with that as the intention.
Re-watching this video in the light of the recent Girl Defined Cinematic Universe events and being hit by the "See you on our channel in nine months" ! The prophecy of it all ! Sam foretold the coming of Dav.
“I do not have a vagina and he does not have a penis”… literally the FUNNIEST line in Barbie! And Ken being all offended by Barbie saying he doesn’t have a penis…
That is The cringiest line not funny at all
One episode of his podcast will be that he left because he didn’t want his kids to grow up like he did. (Hopefully)
That would give me a lot of hope for the future, that someone so entrenched in that can turn around and come out of that toxic environment. Every time I see a story like that, it makes me smile.
I don’t think that Dāv grew up in this mess.
@@Constantin9va oh, ok. I don’t know much about them. So it would be he didn’t want his kids to grow up with only their mother’s world view.
Thanks for reacting to this video. When i saw it, I was blown away by Dave’s intelligent analysis and by Bethany’s vague misdirected anger. It’s such a weird dynamic to witness, and it’s a shame that Bethany doesn’t appreciate Dave’s growth and intellect especially since his growth could directly benefit her.
He seemed excited to talk about the movie at the start of the vid but Bethany says things in a way that's making him pull back and scrunch down into his seat a lot.
the faces she made when he said he went and read about something... that was not only rude but also says a lot about that kind of fundamentalist religion (ie 'dont even try to learn about the things we dont want you to learn about, but still form strong opinions against those things')
I wonder if Bethany, because of her job, has become trapped in an bubble of never having her worldview challenged while her husband has more opportunities (and motivation) to encounter people with opinions that challenge or complicate his worldviews. Not saying this is true, but I do wonder if this informs their readings of the movies and openness to the messages
I did not expect this much dimension from this. What a gem you uncovered
1:32:40 he almost says "their women" but self-corrrects to "women that they're with"
Even on the small phrases, he is being Kenough.
YES!!!!
Damn. Everyone in the comments pointing out little gems I missed
Thank you for detailing their turns of phrase from a different perspective and why fundies are so defensive
I hated the awkward pause when she said she's very 'simple-minded,' and the laughter like she's been told from childhood or at least indoctrinated that men like women who aren't intelligent. The internalized misogyny is so apparent, and growing up, a strict Christian, I had a lot of friends like this, and my way out was early college. My old friends are still like this and probably look up to this woman who herself has no idea what she is outside the lens of God or men. I even had to help with the deconstruction of my fiance because our town is so religious, and it permeates every single area of life. I feel horrible for them because I understand being trapped and watching people you love be trapped with you.
I love a lot of the other "snark" channels, they do good work. I REALLY appreciate y'alls gentler take on these two and staying hopeful that it's possible for fundies to change. I hope y'all are right about Dave, I see subtle changes in him too, especially here.
Its kind of crazy rewatching this video after seeing Dave comeout as an atheist. First of seeing Bethany be so supportive and loving to him makes it more funny to see her additude in this video, also just imagining dave relating to the kens not being able to reach the unreasonable goals while he was dealing with the same thing makes me hope that he also felt kenough.
I just found your channel yesterday through fundie fridays and I love how this all turned out 😂❤️
SAME lol
Because their idea of ‘enough’ means perfect, and their idea of perfect means ‘infinitely better than I am’. They can’t be enough because perfection definitionally always leaves something to improve, yet it’s their life/eternal purpose to achieve perfection.
DAMN you put it into to words exactly
For as faith rooted as they are, I find it bizarre how much Bethany is the head of the family. It seems like even she doesn’t subscribe to the husband being the leader.