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I had never heard of this channel until about a week ago. I normally don’t watch reaction videos about me (because I just don’t have the time or capacity as a wife/mom) but I really enjoyed this video. You both were incredibly gracious and kind in your approach. And you seem like a lot of fun ❤
Bethy i would LOVE to see a collab between yall!! A dav & bethy x zelph on the shelf video would be so cool. have gained so so much respect for the both of you in this 24 hours with video and would LOVE to see more couples content!!!
Dav's going to therapy really shines in this collab. There's a quiet security and confidence in the ideas he's obviously deeply thought about for a long time.
I feel like Dav showed Bethany, maybe for the first time, that she is worthy of love without adhering to the high control standards she was raised in. I dont think she was seen as a person by her parents growing up. I think she has ability to grow out of the shame and hate that shackles her. Even apologize one day for the harm she has caused.
It's sad how much Paul feels under attack..... nobody is trying to 'get dave'... or steal him for our 'side'. He just has a much healthier way of being religious. it's having a good impact on Bethany.... it will help their kids, and we love to see it. We like dave because he's so much kinder and reasonable in his faith.
I think Dave is favored because he's reasonable. He understands that all critics aren't just haters. Bethany is brushing up against a lot of her bubble crashing and I understand how tough it is for her.
Bethany and Dave seem like their marriage has grown so much! It seems like Bethany has chosen to trust that Dave is sincere in his quest for truth and made peace with it.
@zelphontheshelf Bethany just shared a link to this video in her stories and said she appreciated the kind way you shared in your reaction. I think the four of you will be hanging out in the park in no time!
@@jaidadracoJordan and McKays last video shows Bethy and Davs reaction to this zelph video and it's seriously heartwarming and wholesome! There's rumors a conversation between Bethy, Dav and zelph might have happened today 😍😱🥰 this is giving me so much hope right now ❤
Dav seems like an absolute sweetheart, but why did I want to hug Bethany when she talked about wanting to be supported by him when she's getting hate online. Although she does need to understand that not all criticism is hate, that is what Dav was trying to get across to them. Also, not everyone is coming after their marriage. I for one, would love to see them grow old and woke together.
Oh boy. I am just... So overwhelmed by this whole Rachel-Antibot-Zelph-Davany pipeline. I myself am deconstructing, I still consider myself religious but unpacking the trauma left behind from Fundamentalism and Purity Culture. And a lot of that involved anger, hurt, pain, against Girl Defined because I watched their 2010s content and it influenced me. Seeing this and their new video. I have SO much I want to say but I am too emotional to really articulate myself. I think really just... All of us who have been on Dav's path, whether we remain believers or leave entirely, can relate to him to the point we cried. I know I did. I burst into tears more than I care to admit because he spoke so much of what I've felt. This is giving me an opportunity to begin the process of forgiveness and healing.
Can we all take a moment to appreciate the new style Bethany has been sporting? Girly is looking GOOD, her and Dave both! That black top with the fitted jeans, looks SOOOOOO good on her!
I was so giddy watching this video. Your happiness watching them is so heartwarming. I think your channel may be the sweetest and funnest place on earth. Bethany did show a deep sense of maturity she has gained in marriage and it sounds like she’s trying to check her ego for the health of her partnership, which is so healthy, and not easy at all. Paul and Morgan did a good job of showing sides of them that are different from the image they project on Girl Defined. Credit where credit is due 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 And cheers to y’all for being kind to all of them throughout.
Who is this reasonable and articulate Bethany and where has she been all this time. Essentially she said I want Dav to be Dav, I don't want to change him. 😮
As a child of Lutheranism, Sam’s description is spot on. We had a woman pastor and I didn’t feel shame about who I was until I started going to a non-denominational big church.
I grew up with a woman pastor as well and I think I dodged a lot of sexism bullets because of that. Looking back on what she taught, I am very lucky. I had a similar reaction when visiting other churches and hearing what they focussed on and what they taught. One thing that haunts me still is visiting an easter mess where the pastor told the story of how the Pharao's soldiers were drowned in the red sea and how its their own fault for serving the Pharao (yikes). With our woman pastor, we heard the story before, but she emphasised completely different parts of the story (more how Moses' belief was so great that he parted the sea).
Agreed as a former ELCA member but it's very possible (and maybe likely) they're going to a Missouri Synod Lutheran church, which are much less accepting than ELCA, don't allow women to be clergy, are anti-homosexuality and anti-abortion, overall more similar culturally to Catholicism than to ELCA Lutheranism. Still an upgrade though.
My sister and I grew up Lutherans as well and I’m so thankful that it was so “liberal” compared most other Christian denominations. I now don’t consider myself Christian, but thankfully I don’t a ton of trauma from being raised in my church. Unfortunately my sister is now apart of AOG and my nephews were raised in that. My sister has become so fearful, judgmental and hateful since she joined. 😢 I find it fascinating how different we have became as we got older despite being raised the same.
This is so wild to me, because last year I was looking for a preschool that wouldn't bankrupt me (we have some secular preschools but they're several thousand a year) The local Lutheran church has a preschool, but they required us to sign an extensive morality clause not only that we were christian ourselves (we're not) but also that we wouldn't practice or allow things like homosexuality or transgenderism in our home or expose our kids to them (oops, too late... I'm trans) We ended up at an incredible methodist preschool down the street and had only good things to say. We are in a red state, but not a particularly dark red part of it. I'm happy to know our church isn't representative of lutheranism as a whole.
@@RaineInChaos so horrible they would ask that, and imo definitely not the norm at least where I'm from. I'm from a country with lutheranism as a state church, so I know some pastors etc. A friend of mine used to work as a pastor and is openly gay. She and her wife have kids. Of course we also have more traditional folks here as well but the church itself can be quite accepting in some ways.
Thank you for giving them so much grace. A lot of fundiesnarkers have no idea how it is to grow up in a religious environment and how that not only impacts what you think, but also gets ingrained on a deeper level into how you think. I truly believe that some parts keep being part of your personality forever.
The fact that both Dav AND Bethany have commented on this with nice things to say... And then they GAVE YOU A FREAKING SHOUT OUT AND SAID THEY LIKED YOU.... This is too good to be true I must be dreaming
i watched fundie fridays' video about some of it and omg i love dave. out of all the fundies yall talk about, dave has always been the most tolerable. but after the collab, i realized how open minded he is. bethany is so lucky to have him.
It actually seems like she's also come a long way and whereas before i couldn't really see how they could be compatible. Her willingness to let him explore his faith and to make some changes and for her to also take those things on board is very positive.
I seriously hope they reach out to you guys! Dav is amazing and I'm really happy for both him and Bethany. Hopefully he has some influence on Paul, too.
Dav and Bethany watched this and it seems like they really appreciated it. I'm invested in the Fundieverse, but have never come across you. Seated and watching rn.
I will say Morgan's snickering laugh after Bethany explains her viewpoints in the car is unsettling.. it reads as almost mocking or as if Bethany sounds crazy, when in reality bethany is making real, valid, coherent points
Both Paul and Morgan were way out of line and condescending in this video. I only see them being snarky and underhanded the whole time. I’m trying so hard to give them some kind of benefit of the doubt but they’re just so judgmental and mean spirited.
I think Bethany and dave are friends with them (or rather the other side around) because they can't see how mean they are. I don't mean this harshly in any way, in the contrary. I was friends with people like this for years who always said stuff like "oh I am just honest" until I realised they were being mean weeks later. I was traumatised then and couldn't put up any boundaries. Now I'm not saying it's the same with davany. just that arrogant people like that often rely on the softer, understanding, buckling down part of the dynamic. Morgan and Paul at least Paul thinks he is better than everybody and seems to feel better than everyone else.
Bethany seems annoyed that the 'haters' are characterizing her view changes as progress; but, she obviously views them as progress too, right? No one knowingly moves backward in their view, do they? Lol.
I wonder if it’s more so that she doesn’t want to feel like a project. Dave doesn’t see her like that, but she might feel condescended to by a lot of the secular people even though that’s not the intent.
Imo it’s a resistance to the idea of more radical changes being the next step for her. Like kids begging a parent for a dog, and then the parent finally says “I’m NOT saying yes, but.. we can go LOOK at dogs at the shelter…” and then the kids start running around excitedly screaming “we’re getting a dog!!” In other words, imo her attitude is basically “ok, fine, yes, yay me, I grew as a person. …but that does NOT mean I’ll be pro-LGBT, because I promise I never will, and you can’t make me!!”
Idk I think it's very likely that it feels condescending. If it's from people she knows don't like her that much, I can see why it would put your hackles up
ive just watched bethanys and davs reaction on their channel and nearly screamed when they mentioned the two of you :D the thought of a collaboration just gives me all the feelings :D
This really made me empathize with Bethany a bit. I think, with her "haters" thing, that above all else, she is hurt by being singled out as The Bad One in her marriage, and abt being hated, in her interpretation, by lots and lots of people all over the world. And she wants her husband to be her champion, to stand up for her, and sees his nuanced view of the issue as him not being as supportive as she wishes he was in this regard. It's... Very understandable, truly, even if I agree with Dave's view. This was a lovely videos, guys. Made me rly extend my empathy towards all of them, tbh, in a way I never rly had before.
Empathizing with Bethany? The woman who gleefully posed next to the grave of her Nazi great grandfather?? She doesn’t deserve compassion for her hurt feelings over internet comments. She’s a bigot from a long line of bigots.
Something that made me feel sympathy for her, to an extent, was also how she apparently really used to love playing basketball and she had been granted a scholarship and everything because she was apparently GOOD too. But something something that's not a womans role something something... and she gave up this thing she loved because of the religious beliefs she had. That's just so sad to me. That, and the fact she didn't know the basic mechanics of sex until she was 20. That is just... SO messed up. She learned it from a book she happened upon when babysitting, I think? It just blows my mind that she was a real life Daphne Bridgerton.
I think in part that's what Paul is feeling too. No matter what, i think it hurts to be cast as a bad person, even if only in implication in the pattern of '"I want good things for Dav' (but not Bethy)" and "'I hope Morgan has a good life' but not Paul". While I disagree more with Paul than most of them and his "I'm right and I will accept no alternatives" rubs me the wrong way, I empathize with feeling like almost everyone who disagrees with their channel hates him specifically and wants Morgan to leave him. That level of concentrated disapproval hurts, I'm sure.
@@hellomello258 oh, I definitely agree! He's got a very different personality to Bethany's, who seems more open to questioning and changing, but yeah, in this regard I definitely think they're the same.
Dav, wherever you end up, no matter what you believe in the end, I am at least proud that you are trying to learn and grow and becoming a better person for it.
I, an atheist, just wanted to say that I love you guys and your kind and empathetic commentary. I also wanted to say that I love seeing Dave and Bethany evolve this way. I don't wish anything bad for them or their marriage. I have nothing against Christians, but I don't think it's wrong to point out negative, extreme, or cult like beliefs and their consequences. I just hope they continue this journey into open mindedness. You can be a Christian without being a hateful, bigoted extremist. 😊
So glad someone said what I was thinking! My experience is that Lutherans do drink and Baptists don’t. Also, when I had a Religion class at a Methodist college, the professor said the Lutherans were considered the scholars and philosophers of the Protestant branch of Christianity.
In addition, to how brightly Dav has been shining with his thoughtfulness and desire for growth, I thought it was really nice how we got to see candid and real thoughts from Bethy appreciating Dav. I was also very impressed that Paul, Morgan, Bethy, and Dav all sat down, had those conversations, and put them online for everyone to see. It was a really impressive and mature thing to do.
SCREAMINGGGGGG bc I just watched the vid Dave & Bethany posted and I’m obsessed with you guys and I’m also an agnostic leftist now who was raised religious and anyway girl defined / these vids have been my obsession for so long and I can’t believe Dave is fully deconstructing!!!! so proud of him and honestly Bethany seemed pretty sweet to him abt it!?
Is it creepy to have chemistry with this Christian couple you’ve never met? This is one of your best episodes ever, so…we’ll unpack that later. 😆🥳 love you guys 🥰
I wanted to applaud Bethany’s little speech defending and uplifting Dav and their family, and then Morgan’s insincere response made me massively cringe. Just love seeing the growth of Bethany and Dav and I think they have a really bright and happy future ahead of them.
I feel like Morgan could’ve been someone so different, but had to stuff her feelings and kill her soul a little over the years, largely due to her choice of mate. Saying this based mostly on hearing about her life before Paul, and also seeing her in videos much earlier in their channel. She seems to have acquired a petty, judgmental “edge” over the years :/
I was waiting for this video response! This was one of my favorite videos from you two. I so appreciated how empathetic, encouraging, and giddy you were seeing how much Dav and Bethany have grown. Multiple times you guys had me cracking up laughing. Thanks for your really thoughtful and heartfelt response to their video. ❤
I was watching this video whilst deep cleaning my fridge and had my phone rested on a shelf inside... yeah when I was all done I just closed the fridge and walked away. Yall were CHILLIN for a minute there.
YOOO YOU GOT SHOUTED OUT IN DAV AND BETHY’S RESPONSE VIDEO! I’m so glad they find you a healthy and welcoming source to receive criticism, I agree, there are true haters out there and you’re not that. It’s wonderful. Can’t wait to see how you feel about them specifically shouting you out and mentioning Costa Rica. DO A COLLAB PLEASE I WANT THE REAL TALK AND NOT CAMERA MODE!!! 🥰🥰🥰
This going to seem incredibly meta probably but I am here because Dav called you out specifically (which you address in another video, I'm just watching in chronological order) and I LOVE YOU TWO! I'm so, so glad that I'm here. And your reaction to two men hugging made me legitimately tear up which I should probably talk to my therapist about but also, just thank you for being the people who you are. That is all.
I love this! Your reactions were lovely and genuine. Also I have a lot more empathy for Bethany now. I really do wish her and Dave the best. I believe people can stay together through hardship as long as they both want to. ❤
@@Blue.velvet.0124I always get the sense that Morgan is more defensive about her beliefs because she’s more insecure about them. She’s tasted the “other side” so to speak and there’s probably still a little part of her that relates more closely to others. It prompts her to act more ‘superior’ in a way because she feels that she was tested and has ‘chosen right’. Whereas Paul just… it seems like he’s never had someone in his life who has ever encouraged even low level critical questioning. He’s maybe less inclined to be openly judgy and just more likely to dismiss someone’s opinion as like… “well that’s just incorrect”
Oh my (figurative) god - "some of us had to crawl out of a two thousand year old hole" is a phenomenal response for when i start feeling weird about how long it took me to deconstruct or why i feel so immature and inexperienced. Gonna need to hang a cross stitch of it somewhere for a daily reminder. Edit: there are chill Lutheran churches and fundie Lutherans. I grew up in the latter 😅
Bethany does drink in moderation. She had a conversation with Kristen on their channel how she found out Dav would have the occasional drink which initially threw her off but he helped her understand where he was coming from and was accepting of it.
Paul and Morgan drink a little too. This was one of the things they discussed with their first 24 hours with guest. BHaney has a reaction video to that one.
I love how this channel has become a Dave Supremacy propaganda machine, and I am here for it. It seems that he really is modelling some healthy behaviors and mindsets to everyone else, which is so great to see
44:57 I am shocked and genuinely happy to hear they go to a small Lutheran church now and are loving it. I grew up in one and I never thought much of it until I got older and realized how other Christian’s were raised. I’m so thankful I was raised in a house with a strong faith, but also was never banned from watching or reading anything because of religion. We were never told how to dress or how to think because of our religion. We went to a public school and had friends who went to different types of churches or weren’t religious at all. I never had fear that I or any family would go to hell because it’s not a focus at all in the sermons. It was usually just a lesson on how to be a good person or your relationship with God. There was never any talk about any other religions and even more important U.S. Politics were never talked about. I didn’t even know other churches did that.
Watching Dav go through this just reminds me of my deconstructed. It’s an ongoing process and takes time. The stuff he is talking about is the same shit I was talking about when I was going through it. I am glad he is in a relationship that is allowing these questions. It speaks more about Christianity than those would condemn and walk away from you. 14:48
I left the church over a decade ago but I cannot describe how healing this whole Dav deconstruction saga and specifically the respectful and compassionate discourse on your channel has been ❤
I keep coming back to how sweet this video is, and now my UA-cam auto play has been reaching into the archives and has taken me through like six stages of Tanner’s hair 😂 how does every haircut look good? Seems unfair somehow.
You guys gave the best commentary on this Girl Defined/P&M collab, simply because the two of you understand the intricacies of what it's like being in a high control group! I would loveee to join the Dave and Beth fan club trip to Costa Rica and have deep conversations!
I feel like Dav is trying to get the 3 of them to see that not everyone who interacts with their content is doing it in bad faith and it's just so hard for them to see that because they have had a lot of bad faith actors. It feels like it's easier for the 3 of them to put people into categories, haters or Christians. Whereas Dav seems like he sees more nuance and he's trying to get them to understand that.
I love how uplifting you are ❤ You're always so encouraging of progress and I just can't understand how anyone could consider what you do "hate". Also, why are you both so cute in HD? I need you to drop your skincare routine!
Just heard that Dav and Bethy posted a response video where Dav admits he may not consider himself a Christian any more??! I am waiting with baited breath for your next video! Dreams really do come true!
The tone shift I've seen over the years watching people react to these two couples has come a long way and it's really nice to see ❤ it shows people really do grow and change n positive ways
Tbh it does come down to "what happens when Fundamentalist kids grow up and experience life." We are all threatened life will fall apart and we will become the worst version of ourselves if we grow/evolve/question from our upbringing. Then when that.... Doesn't happen.... We have a, "oh wow not everything we learnt was true" moment. Then we have to unpack where that's just misguiding vs trauma. And when we see something as trauma... Boom. It CHANGES you. When they can genuinely admit that, we can support that growth. Because all of us who grew up religious and now question things, we've been there. I *am* there LOL
On Tanner's podcast thoughts I agree on the sentiment, I make little audio recordings on my phone for that reason. No one needs more podcasts in the world but the processing is very valuable!
Wow!! Commenting to boost the algorithm!! This was a very great video, super funny and deep. Hopefully we get a Zelph on the shelf collab w either one of the couples!! Edit: but especially w Dav!
I was impatiently waiting for your video after watching Fundie Fridays video on it last week. So good! You guys would be the perfect people to talk to Bethany and Dav. ps ugh I love dav too 🥲
This actually might be the best content any of them have ever made. Mad respect for Dav and yes a lot of humanization happening all around. I appreciate Dav going out on a limb for the "haters" 💚
this is my first time watching yall but i just have to say you two have such lovely hearts! even with all the religious trauma your personalities just shine with so much love and kindness i love it!
I came here after you were shouted out on Jordan and Mckay and omg I love your guys vibe I'm subbed and excited to watch some more of your stuff :) (i'm an exevangelical)
Thank y’all for making content like this. With all of the hate in the world that comes with being a Christian, figuring out that isn’t what you actually belive anymore, finding out that you don’t belive in things such as gender for oneself and not having that support in the middle section of being confused but not quite out of it… So thank y’all 💛💛💛🥰
I swear Dav needs his own show! His energy is so good and pure! This might be an unpopular opinion but in *this* video I see some growth from Bethany. I love her conversion with morgan in the car ... maybe Bethany will get through to her 💚
Great to see such empathetic commentary on everyones various faith journeys! Especially regardin their convo on the haters - ive personally stopped reading the subreddit as much because i felt a lot of the discussions were just sort of mean and circlejerky.
I watched the last twenty minutes again, after having seen Jordan & McKays commentary on the truly heartwarming video about Dav's deconstruction - and cheese and rice - it's giving me life! 😍🤯😱🥰 Knowing that both Bethy and Dav actually watched this video and were super nice and appreciative is so wholesome! Can't wait to see the reactions of Sam and Tanner to that video and their conversation with Bethy and Dav 😍 This is what the world needs! People trying to build bridges and understanding people who differ from us. You're seriously giving me hope right now - thank you ❤❤
I thought Paul was asking "Are you finished?" as a joke, like "are you done? Because I'm not gonna cut you off while we're having a conversation about me cutting you off" 😂
52:20 Wow!!! I've had this realization too, not about religion but about social beliefs I had as a teenager and it's such a good feeling to know you've grown and are filling yourself with love and open mindedness rather than hate
I was so excited to see your reaction after watching the original video this week! Y'all really would be the perfect duo for a bridge-building session with Dav and Bethany. How do we make this happen?!
not paul going "just be honest about the comments hoping you find happiness" and she thinks for two seconds and he goes "hahaha jk please tell them that theyre stupid"
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I had never heard of this channel until about a week ago. I normally don’t watch reaction videos about me (because I just don’t have the time or capacity as a wife/mom) but I really enjoyed this video. You both were incredibly gracious and kind in your approach. And you seem like a lot of fun ❤
So are you guys coming to Salt Lake City or are we coming to Texas? 😜
Bethy i would LOVE to see a collab between yall!! A dav & bethy x zelph on the shelf video would be so cool. have gained so so much respect for the both of you in this 24 hours with video and would LOVE to see more couples content!!!
Bethany, we are wishing the best for you and Dave! I hope you'll consider meeting up with Sam and Tanner, whether or not you do any sort of collab.
It's wonderful to have you here, Bethany!
I loved what you said about navigating your marriage with differing views on theology. Happy to see you here in the comments!🫶🏼
Dav's going to therapy really shines in this collab. There's a quiet security and confidence in the ideas he's obviously deeply thought about for a long time.
I feel like Dav showed Bethany, maybe for the first time, that she is worthy of love without adhering to the high control standards she was raised in. I dont think she was seen as a person by her parents growing up.
I think she has ability to grow out of the shame and hate that shackles her. Even apologize one day for the harm she has caused.
😭😭😭
It's sad how much Paul feels under attack..... nobody is trying to 'get dave'... or steal him for our 'side'. He just has a much healthier way of being religious. it's having a good impact on Bethany.... it will help their kids, and we love to see it.
We like dave because he's so much kinder and reasonable in his faith.
Dav and Bethy are actually building the Kingdom.P&M remind us why so many left the church.
I think Dave is favored because he's reasonable. He understands that all critics aren't just haters.
Bethany is brushing up against a lot of her bubble crashing and I understand how tough it is for her.
Not even gonna lie I would unironically watch Dav Defined
Dav Deconstructed
@@jayjay182that's so good omg
I would watch it. I like how he brings nuance and values truth over blind belief.
Bethany and Dave seem like their marriage has grown so much! It seems like Bethany has chosen to trust that Dave is sincere in his quest for truth and made peace with it.
@zelphontheshelf Bethany just shared a link to this video in her stories and said she appreciated the kind way you shared in your reaction. I think the four of you will be hanging out in the park in no time!
Bethy watches Zelph!! o:
I really hope it happens
That would be so wholesome!!!!!
Awesome!
@@jaidadracoJordan and McKays last video shows Bethy and Davs reaction to this zelph video and it's seriously heartwarming and wholesome!
There's rumors a conversation between Bethy, Dav and zelph might have happened today 😍😱🥰
this is giving me so much hope right now ❤
Dav seems like an absolute sweetheart, but why did I want to hug Bethany when she talked about wanting to be supported by him when she's getting hate online. Although she does need to understand that not all criticism is hate, that is what Dav was trying to get across to them. Also, not everyone is coming after their marriage. I for one, would love to see them grow old and woke together.
I think a 24 hour collab with you two and Dave and Bethany would heal the world
TRULY 💖💖💖
Dav is actually a really intelligent and wonderful person. Mad respect to him
"a mind expanded by new ideas can never return to its former dimensions" i loved that so much!
Oh boy. I am just... So overwhelmed by this whole Rachel-Antibot-Zelph-Davany pipeline. I myself am deconstructing, I still consider myself religious but unpacking the trauma left behind from Fundamentalism and Purity Culture. And a lot of that involved anger, hurt, pain, against Girl Defined because I watched their 2010s content and it influenced me.
Seeing this and their new video. I have SO much I want to say but I am too emotional to really articulate myself. I think really just... All of us who have been on Dav's path, whether we remain believers or leave entirely, can relate to him to the point we cried. I know I did. I burst into tears more than I care to admit because he spoke so much of what I've felt.
This is giving me an opportunity to begin the process of forgiveness and healing.
Keep being good to yourself.
Can we all take a moment to appreciate the new style Bethany has been sporting? Girly is looking GOOD, her and Dave both! That black top with the fitted jeans, looks SOOOOOO good on her!
I was so giddy watching this video. Your happiness watching them is so heartwarming. I think your channel may be the sweetest and funnest place on earth.
Bethany did show a deep sense of maturity she has gained in marriage and it sounds like she’s trying to check her ego for the health of her partnership, which is so healthy, and not easy at all. Paul and Morgan did a good job of showing sides of them that are different from the image they project on Girl Defined. Credit where credit is due 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 And cheers to y’all for being kind to all of them throughout.
Crying 💖💖💖💖💖
Ditto to all of this! My thoughts exactly.
Who is this reasonable and articulate Bethany and where has she been all this time. Essentially she said I want Dav to be Dav, I don't want to change him. 😮
This is Bethy breaking free of Heidi and her domineering, abusive mothering
And why couldn’t she be this accepting and gracious towards all the teen girls she’s tried to influence over the years?
I just found this channel a few days ago and now Dav has come out as not a Christian and mentioned Zelph on the Shelf. Y'all are about to blow up!!!
Hehehe
As a child of Lutheranism, Sam’s description is spot on. We had a woman pastor and I didn’t feel shame about who I was until I started going to a non-denominational big church.
I grew up with a woman pastor as well and I think I dodged a lot of sexism bullets because of that. Looking back on what she taught, I am very lucky. I had a similar reaction when visiting other churches and hearing what they focussed on and what they taught. One thing that haunts me still is visiting an easter mess where the pastor told the story of how the Pharao's soldiers were drowned in the red sea and how its their own fault for serving the Pharao (yikes). With our woman pastor, we heard the story before, but she emphasised completely different parts of the story (more how Moses' belief was so great that he parted the sea).
Agreed as a former ELCA member but it's very possible (and maybe likely) they're going to a Missouri Synod Lutheran church, which are much less accepting than ELCA, don't allow women to be clergy, are anti-homosexuality and anti-abortion, overall more similar culturally to Catholicism than to ELCA Lutheranism. Still an upgrade though.
My sister and I grew up Lutherans as well and I’m so thankful that it was so “liberal” compared most other Christian denominations. I now don’t consider myself Christian, but thankfully I don’t a ton of trauma from being raised in my church. Unfortunately my sister is now apart of AOG and my nephews were raised in that. My sister has become so fearful, judgmental and hateful since she joined. 😢 I find it fascinating how different we have became as we got older despite being raised the same.
This is so wild to me, because last year I was looking for a preschool that wouldn't bankrupt me (we have some secular preschools but they're several thousand a year)
The local Lutheran church has a preschool, but they required us to sign an extensive morality clause not only that we were christian ourselves (we're not) but also that we wouldn't practice or allow things like homosexuality or transgenderism in our home or expose our kids to them (oops, too late... I'm trans)
We ended up at an incredible methodist preschool down the street and had only good things to say. We are in a red state, but not a particularly dark red part of it. I'm happy to know our church isn't representative of lutheranism as a whole.
@@RaineInChaos so horrible they would ask that, and imo definitely not the norm at least where I'm from. I'm from a country with lutheranism as a state church, so I know some pastors etc. A friend of mine used to work as a pastor and is openly gay. She and her wife have kids. Of course we also have more traditional folks here as well but the church itself can be quite accepting in some ways.
Thank you for giving them so much grace. A lot of fundiesnarkers have no idea how it is to grow up in a religious environment and how that not only impacts what you think, but also gets ingrained on a deeper level into how you think. I truly believe that some parts keep being part of your personality forever.
The fact that both Dav AND Bethany have commented on this with nice things to say... And then they GAVE YOU A FREAKING SHOUT OUT AND SAID THEY LIKED YOU.... This is too good to be true I must be dreaming
i watched fundie fridays' video about some of it and omg i love dave. out of all the fundies yall talk about, dave has always been the most tolerable. but after the collab, i realized how open minded he is. bethany is so lucky to have him.
It actually seems like she's also come a long way and whereas before i couldn't really see how they could be compatible. Her willingness to let him explore his faith and to make some changes and for her to also take those things on board is very positive.
I seriously hope they reach out to you guys! Dav is amazing and I'm really happy for both him and Bethany. Hopefully he has some influence on Paul, too.
They DID!!!!
Dav and Bethany watched this and it seems like they really appreciated it. I'm invested in the Fundieverse, but have never come across you. Seated and watching rn.
Hello fellow Jennanite❤❤
I will say Morgan's snickering laugh after Bethany explains her viewpoints in the car is unsettling.. it reads as almost mocking or as if Bethany sounds crazy, when in reality bethany is making real, valid, coherent points
Agreed! Morgan was being mean spirited
Both Paul and Morgan were way out of line and condescending in this video. I only see them being snarky and underhanded the whole time. I’m trying so hard to give them some kind of benefit of the doubt but they’re just so judgmental and mean spirited.
she is mocking her…..Paul has invested endless hours brainwashing her and denying her the love Dav obviously has for Bethy and their children.
I think Morgan is very immature and has no other way of communicating her discomfort.
I think Bethany and dave are friends with them (or rather the other side around) because they can't see how mean they are. I don't mean this harshly in any way, in the contrary. I was friends with people like this for years who always said stuff like "oh I am just honest" until I realised they were being mean weeks later. I was traumatised then and couldn't put up any boundaries. Now I'm not saying it's the same with davany. just that arrogant people like that often rely on the softer, understanding, buckling down part of the dynamic. Morgan and Paul at least Paul thinks he is better than everybody and seems to feel better than everyone else.
Bethany seems annoyed that the 'haters' are characterizing her view changes as progress; but, she obviously views them as progress too, right? No one knowingly moves backward in their view, do they? Lol.
It probably just triggering knowing her background and her journey on UA-cam.
I wonder if it’s more so that she doesn’t want to feel like a project. Dave doesn’t see her like that, but she might feel condescended to by a lot of the secular people even though that’s not the intent.
Imo it’s a resistance to the idea of more radical changes being the next step for her.
Like kids begging a parent for a dog, and then the parent finally says “I’m NOT saying yes, but.. we can go LOOK at dogs at the shelter…” and then the kids start running around excitedly screaming “we’re getting a dog!!”
In other words, imo her attitude is basically “ok, fine, yes, yay me, I grew as a person. …but that does NOT mean I’ll be pro-LGBT, because I promise I never will, and you can’t make me!!”
@@DannyD-lr5yg this analogy is actually kind of on point😄
Idk I think it's very likely that it feels condescending. If it's from people she knows don't like her that much, I can see why it would put your hackles up
came here from jordan and mckay's dav/bethy reaction video, and wow what a treat! yall are so funny, gentle, quippy, and intelligent. i love it here
GUYS! BETH AND DAV HAVE A RESPONSE VIDEO TO THEIR 24HR THING AND THEY MENTIONED YOU GUYS AND LOVE YOU GUYS HAHA YAY
As a young religious queer i reread david and jonathans story a million times through. They kiss canonically
ive just watched bethanys and davs reaction on their channel and nearly screamed when they mentioned the two of you :D the thought of a collaboration just gives me all the feelings :D
BEEN SCREAMING ALL DAY 🥰🥰🥰
@@ZelphOntheShelf i think you misspelled FRIENDS
This really made me empathize with Bethany a bit. I think, with her "haters" thing, that above all else, she is hurt by being singled out as The Bad One in her marriage, and abt being hated, in her interpretation, by lots and lots of people all over the world. And she wants her husband to be her champion, to stand up for her, and sees his nuanced view of the issue as him not being as supportive as she wishes he was in this regard. It's... Very understandable, truly, even if I agree with Dave's view. This was a lovely videos, guys. Made me rly extend my empathy towards all of them, tbh, in a way I never rly had before.
Empathizing with Bethany? The woman who gleefully posed next to the grave of her Nazi great grandfather?? She doesn’t deserve compassion for her hurt feelings over internet comments. She’s a bigot from a long line of bigots.
Something that made me feel sympathy for her, to an extent, was also how she apparently really used to love playing basketball and she had been granted a scholarship and everything because she was apparently GOOD too. But something something that's not a womans role something something... and she gave up this thing she loved because of the religious beliefs she had. That's just so sad to me.
That, and the fact she didn't know the basic mechanics of sex until she was 20. That is just... SO messed up. She learned it from a book she happened upon when babysitting, I think? It just blows my mind that she was a real life Daphne Bridgerton.
I think in part that's what Paul is feeling too. No matter what, i think it hurts to be cast as a bad person, even if only in implication in the pattern of '"I want good things for Dav' (but not Bethy)" and "'I hope Morgan has a good life' but not Paul". While I disagree more with Paul than most of them and his "I'm right and I will accept no alternatives" rubs me the wrong way, I empathize with feeling like almost everyone who disagrees with their channel hates him specifically and wants Morgan to leave him. That level of concentrated disapproval hurts, I'm sure.
@@hellomello258 oh, I definitely agree! He's got a very different personality to Bethany's, who seems more open to questioning and changing, but yeah, in this regard I definitely think they're the same.
Dav, wherever you end up, no matter what you believe in the end, I am at least proud that you are trying to learn and grow and becoming a better person for it.
I, an atheist, just wanted to say that I love you guys and your kind and empathetic commentary. I also wanted to say that I love seeing Dave and Bethany evolve this way. I don't wish anything bad for them or their marriage. I have nothing against Christians, but I don't think it's wrong to point out negative, extreme, or cult like beliefs and their consequences. I just hope they continue this journey into open mindedness. You can be a Christian without being a hateful, bigoted extremist. 😊
"I can't name one famous Lutheran..." What about Martin Luther??? Hahah
That one made me die istg LOL
So glad someone said what I was thinking! My experience is that Lutherans do drink and Baptists don’t. Also, when I had a Religion class at a Methodist college, the professor said the Lutherans were considered the scholars and philosophers of the Protestant branch of Christianity.
In addition, to how brightly Dav has been shining with his thoughtfulness and desire for growth,
I thought it was really nice how we got to see candid and real thoughts from Bethy appreciating Dav.
I was also very impressed that Paul, Morgan, Bethy, and Dav all sat down, had those conversations, and put them online for everyone to see.
It was a really impressive and mature thing to do.
You guys talking about your "crush"/thinking Dav was talking about you was actually SPOT ON!!
STAY. DELUSIONAL. EVERYBODY.
@ZelphOntheShelf need to embroider this on a pillow ASAP
SCREAMINGGGGGG bc I just watched the vid Dave & Bethany posted and I’m obsessed with you guys and I’m also an agnostic leftist now who was raised religious and anyway girl defined / these vids have been my obsession for so long and I can’t believe Dave is fully deconstructing!!!! so proud of him and honestly Bethany seemed pretty sweet to him abt it!?
Now all we need is Dav reacting to this reaction video 💖
Is it creepy to have chemistry with this Christian couple you’ve never met? This is one of your best episodes ever, so…we’ll unpack that later. 😆🥳 love you guys 🥰
I’m sure we all have our unreasonable parasocial bonds 😅
love the fact that Dav gave you guys a shout in his and Bethany latest video
I wanted to applaud Bethany’s little speech defending and uplifting Dav and their family, and then Morgan’s insincere response made me massively cringe. Just love seeing the growth of Bethany and Dav and I think they have a really bright and happy future ahead of them.
I feel like Morgan could’ve been someone so different, but had to stuff her feelings and kill her soul a little over the years, largely due to her choice of mate. Saying this based mostly on hearing about her life before Paul, and also seeing her in videos much earlier in their channel. She seems to have acquired a petty, judgmental “edge” over the years :/
I was waiting for this video response! This was one of my favorite videos from you two. I so appreciated how empathetic, encouraging, and giddy you were seeing how much Dav and Bethany have grown. Multiple times you guys had me cracking up laughing. Thanks for your really thoughtful and heartfelt response to their video. ❤
🥹💜
I'm used to tearing up while watching media, but I don't often tear up with happiness. This made me tear up with joy, so thanks you all!
🥹🥹🥹
That "call me Jonathan" joke was S tier humour for ex bible swots 🤣
hahah thank god i’ve advanced from X tier Bible jokes to S tier! progress! 😂
Yay for growth. Yay for happiness. Yay for conversations about difficult topics. This was a great one.
Sam and Tan, you are my delusional celebrity crush. Love how kind you guys are. It made me so happy to see you so happy in this video
💖💖💖!!!!
It is good to see their growth. I hope they keep growing and learning.
I was watching this video whilst deep cleaning my fridge and had my phone rested on a shelf inside... yeah when I was all done I just closed the fridge and walked away. Yall were CHILLIN for a minute there.
Zelph literally on a shelf!
Sent here by Dav. Lol. Looking forward to see their religious/ non religious journey are. And the UA-cam universe gets to expand!
OMG DAV KNOWS ABOUT ZELPH ON SHELF!!
YOOO YOU GOT SHOUTED OUT IN DAV AND BETHY’S RESPONSE VIDEO! I’m so glad they find you a healthy and welcoming source to receive criticism, I agree, there are true haters out there and you’re not that. It’s wonderful. Can’t wait to see how you feel about them specifically shouting you out and mentioning Costa Rica. DO A COLLAB PLEASE I WANT THE REAL TALK AND NOT CAMERA MODE!!! 🥰🥰🥰
I JUST CAME HERE TO SAY THIS! Bring Dav on the Costa Rica trip!
This going to seem incredibly meta probably but I am here because Dav called you out specifically (which you address in another video, I'm just watching in chronological order) and I LOVE YOU TWO! I'm so, so glad that I'm here. And your reaction to two men hugging made me legitimately tear up which I should probably talk to my therapist about but also, just thank you for being the people who you are. That is all.
🥹💜💜💜💜💜💜
I'm just here for all of the faces Tanner is making in response to these bombshells 😁
I love this! Your reactions were lovely and genuine. Also I have a lot more empathy for Bethany now. I really do wish her and Dave the best. I believe people can stay together through hardship as long as they both want to. ❤
The way that Paul and Morgan were speaking to Beth and Dav, so fucking shady 😅
Yeah they were super judgemental.
yea, they were lowkey looking down on them :(
@@migoreng7789I honestly think Morgan's more judgemental than paul tbh
@@Blue.velvet.0124I always get the sense that Morgan is more defensive about her beliefs because she’s more insecure about them. She’s tasted the “other side” so to speak and there’s probably still a little part of her that relates more closely to others. It prompts her to act more ‘superior’ in a way because she feels that she was tested and has ‘chosen right’. Whereas Paul just… it seems like he’s never had someone in his life who has ever encouraged even low level critical questioning. He’s maybe less inclined to be openly judgy and just more likely to dismiss someone’s opinion as like… “well that’s just incorrect”
Yeah I’m surprised they said P&M were being nice because I thought they came across so fucking out of pocket 😂
Imagine how great it would be if Dav ever did an interview with you ❤
This was a great watch you guys, as always!!
Oh my (figurative) god - "some of us had to crawl out of a two thousand year old hole" is a phenomenal response for when i start feeling weird about how long it took me to deconstruct or why i feel so immature and inexperienced. Gonna need to hang a cross stitch of it somewhere for a daily reminder.
Edit: there are chill Lutheran churches and fundie Lutherans. I grew up in the latter 😅
Bethany does drink in moderation. She had a conversation with Kristen on their channel how she found out Dav would have the occasional drink which initially threw her off but he helped her understand where he was coming from and was accepting of it.
Paul and Morgan drink a little too. This was one of the things they discussed with their first 24 hours with guest. BHaney has a reaction video to that one.
David and Jonathan's "friendship" was my favourite bit of the OT. Can't believe I didn't twig why until now 😂
19:16 Paul is vain and egotistical. Dave is understandably a whole lot more attractive. I am happy to know Bethany is learning to love him as he is.
I am so proud of both B and D and that is a thought I never thought would enter my brain. Love this collab and love your reactions ❤
I love how this channel has become a Dave Supremacy propaganda machine, and I am here for it. It seems that he really is modelling some healthy behaviors and mindsets to everyone else, which is so great to see
44:57 I am shocked and genuinely happy to hear they go to a small Lutheran church now and are loving it. I grew up in one and I never thought much of it until I got older and realized how other Christian’s were raised. I’m so thankful I was raised in a house with a strong faith, but also was never banned from watching or reading anything because of religion. We were never told how to dress or how to think because of our religion. We went to a public school and had friends who went to different types of churches or weren’t religious at all. I never had fear that I or any family would go to hell because it’s not a focus at all in the sermons. It was usually just a lesson on how to be a good person or your relationship with God. There was never any talk about any other religions and even more important U.S. Politics were never talked about. I didn’t even know other churches did that.
Watching Dav go through this just reminds me of my deconstructed. It’s an ongoing process and takes time. The stuff he is talking about is the same shit I was talking about when I was going through it. I am glad he is in a relationship that is allowing these questions. It speaks more about Christianity than those would condemn and walk away from you. 14:48
I left the church over a decade ago but I cannot describe how healing this whole Dav deconstruction saga and specifically the respectful and compassionate discourse on your channel has been ❤
@19:00 cue "two guys in a hot tub, 5 feet apart cuz they're not gay!" 😆
"but they still express these hateful views" is always a necessary reminder/disclaimer imo, but it doesn't negate the progress
I absolutely LOVED this video! Thank you so much!
Bethany is like having a supportive, non traditional gender role conforming husband is nice. Not an oppressive individual lol.
I keep coming back to how sweet this video is, and now my UA-cam auto play has been reaching into the archives and has taken me through like six stages of Tanner’s hair 😂 how does every haircut look good? Seems unfair somehow.
You guys gave the best commentary on this Girl Defined/P&M collab, simply because the two of you understand the intricacies of what it's like being in a high control group! I would loveee to join the Dave and Beth fan club trip to Costa Rica and have deep conversations!
I feel like Dav is trying to get the 3 of them to see that not everyone who interacts with their content is doing it in bad faith and it's just so hard for them to see that because they have had a lot of bad faith actors. It feels like it's easier for the 3 of them to put people into categories, haters or Christians. Whereas Dav seems like he sees more nuance and he's trying to get them to understand that.
I love how uplifting you are ❤ You're always so encouraging of progress and I just can't understand how anyone could consider what you do "hate".
Also, why are you both so cute in HD? I need you to drop your skincare routine!
Just heard that Dav and Bethy posted a response video where Dav admits he may not consider himself a Christian any more??! I am waiting with baited breath for your next video! Dreams really do come true!
The tone shift I've seen over the years watching people react to these two couples has come a long way and it's really nice to see ❤ it shows people really do grow and change n positive ways
Tbh it does come down to "what happens when Fundamentalist kids grow up and experience life."
We are all threatened life will fall apart and we will become the worst version of ourselves if we grow/evolve/question from our upbringing. Then when that.... Doesn't happen.... We have a, "oh wow not everything we learnt was true" moment. Then we have to unpack where that's just misguiding vs trauma. And when we see something as trauma... Boom. It CHANGES you.
When they can genuinely admit that, we can support that growth. Because all of us who grew up religious and now question things, we've been there. I *am* there LOL
On Tanner's podcast thoughts I agree on the sentiment, I make little audio recordings on my phone for that reason. No one needs more podcasts in the world but the processing is very valuable!
Wow!! Commenting to boost the algorithm!! This was a very great video, super funny and deep. Hopefully we get a Zelph on the shelf collab w either one of the couples!!
Edit: but especially w Dav!
And a reply to boost it a little more!
I was impatiently waiting for your video after watching Fundie Fridays video on it last week. So good! You guys would be the perfect people to talk to Bethany and Dav.
ps ugh I love dav too 🥲
This actually might be the best content any of them have ever made. Mad respect for Dav and yes a lot of humanization happening all around. I appreciate Dav going out on a limb for the "haters" 💚
this is my first time watching yall but i just have to say you two have such lovely hearts! even with all the religious trauma your personalities just shine with so much love and kindness i love it!
🥹💖💖💖
Such a delightful video seeing Dave and Bethany’s growth!
Love love love. 10/10 commentary. So invested in this growth of Bethy and Dav. 🙌
I came here after you were shouted out on Jordan and Mckay and omg I love your guys vibe I'm subbed and excited to watch some more of your stuff :) (i'm an exevangelical)
Omg I am obsessed with this!!
Thank y’all for making content like this. With all of the hate in the world that comes with being a Christian, figuring out that isn’t what you actually belive anymore, finding out that you don’t belive in things such as gender for oneself and not having that support in the middle section of being confused but not quite out of it…
So thank y’all 💛💛💛🥰
Never been prouder to be a patron 🫡
🥹💜💜💜💜
I swear Dav needs his own show! His energy is so good and pure! This might be an unpopular opinion but in *this* video I see some growth from Bethany. I love her conversion with morgan in the car ... maybe Bethany will get through to her 💚
RED ALERT. Wait, Tanner, tell us EVERYTHING about this gay-coded couple in the Bible.
To read Jonathan and David’s [love] story it’s in 1 Samuel and 2 Samuel books in the Bible.
Thanks!
See also: Ruth for a wlw love story 👀 my old church banned readings from Ruth at weddings because it wasn't straight enough
Holy shit that resolution and sound🥹 I LOVE IT. We are blessed with this gift from the depths🖤
Great to see such empathetic commentary on everyones various faith journeys! Especially regardin their convo on the haters - ive personally stopped reading the subreddit as much because i felt a lot of the discussions were just sort of mean and circlejerky.
DAV DEFINED 😂😂😂 I love all of this!! ❤️
THIS is why I keep loving you both. The way you model empathy has been so influential to me in more than just my exmormon journey. Life in general. 🫶🏼
Crying at the karaoke bar
I'm so excited for the fact that Dav and Bethany's review of this video is a total shout out to the both of you. A collaboration I'm dying to see.
❤❤❤
I watched the last twenty minutes again, after having seen Jordan & McKays commentary on the truly heartwarming video about Dav's deconstruction - and cheese and rice - it's giving me life! 😍🤯😱🥰
Knowing that both Bethy and Dav actually watched this video and were super nice and appreciative is so wholesome!
Can't wait to see the reactions of Sam and Tanner to that video and their conversation with Bethy and Dav 😍
This is what the world needs! People trying to build bridges and understanding people who differ from us.
You're seriously giving me hope right now - thank you ❤❤
😭🙃🥰💫
I thought Paul was asking "Are you finished?" as a joke, like "are you done? Because I'm not gonna cut you off while we're having a conversation about me cutting you off" 😂
Invite them!! Have conversations! I love this video so much! It’s so refreshing to see! ❤️❤️❤️
52:20 Wow!!! I've had this realization too, not about religion but about social beliefs I had as a teenager and it's such a good feeling to know you've grown and are filling yourself with love and open mindedness rather than hate
Had to check out Dav's favorite youtubers. You guys are so lovely!
You guys are looking soo cute in this vid
🙏😇
I was so excited to see your reaction after watching the original video this week! Y'all really would be the perfect duo for a bridge-building session with Dav and Bethany. How do we make this happen?!
not paul going "just be honest about the comments hoping you find happiness" and she thinks for two seconds and he goes "hahaha jk please tell them that theyre stupid"