Totally with you on the compassion part, especially at this point in their public deconstruction journeys. A lot of high control religious groups really rely on the fact that the outside world is hostile to their beliefs, because it means that as people start rethinking their faith they get backlash from outside the religion for the parts of their beliefs that they may still be working with and that backlash can help to push them back into the faith as that "proves" they'll only ever be accepted there. But if Dav and Bethy are met with encouragement, compassion, and love that shows that there is space for them and anyone questioning their faith to be themselves as they work through untangling which parts of their beliefs are harmful and which they want to keep
@@lettersnstuff A triple-salchow half-pike barspin handplant to fakie? That's single cell organism excreta diffused through the cell membrane. I vibrate into another dimension using the mental powers granted to me by our one true Empress, the alternate reality where Biz has ascended to her rightful throne to rule the universe. I am pleased to be the Footstool of the Empress while she watches the newly posted video on the Cross-Dimension YouViewer which allows the Empress to watch any UA-cam video from any dimension. All glory be to the Empress.
No but being an ex-Catholic lesbian and thinking “I wish I could just be good Christian housewife and then my life would BE FINE FOREVER” is so real and definitely a thought that still creeps into my head these days. Before I knew I was gay, I definitely had a long “I want to be a nun” phase too. Anyway, if you can’t tell lol, I really related to your bit in the middle and you are definitely not alone in that escapist mindset!
More and more each day, I'm becoming aware that I've never had an original experience 😅The way I STILL have a small alter space with Hildegard von Bingen on it.
Omg hi!! I'm also a lesbian ex catholic. I never had the nun phase but I see why many would!! It's interesting hearing from other ppl and their experiences :0
I think the thing that elevates these videos is they way biz is able to talk about people and subjects who are easy to dunk on or ridicule on a surface level and really make you stop and think without being mean ,but still able to be critical .
This is genuinely so sweet. Just a lovely, lovely look at some people growing up into their own opinions. I am an Atheist. I was raised and atheist and will likely die an atheist but my best friend is a practicing baptist (English baptist - they're much more chill than southern Baptists) and I've seen how her faith brings her great comfort. I went to a protestant primary school so I know more about christianity than the average atheist and I will use Christian ideas to comfort her when she needs it and she very deliberately doesn't use explicitly christian ideas to comfort me and honestly half the time it will end up being the same advice framed differently. There can always be a little more compassion in the world for people who are not like yourself.
As a pastor's kid, the Baird sisters have a lot of similar Religion-as-Family-Business energy. I remember what it was like to be questioning and to no longer be christian while still in the public eye of the Christian community and I have a lot of empathy for both Dav and Bethy. It's very easy to "toe the company line" and say what's expected of you or only have acceptable public differences with your family out of a place of wanting to support people you love and it simply being easier. I havent been christian for forever and I can STILL "speak christian" and still have christian opinions on theology that isnt even mine anymore. I also know how the sausage is made and there are WAY more "Christian atheists" and Christians who are there for the community and the culture than you might expect. It isnt all dogmatic even among the most devout, they just dont always have room to talk about it. It is incredibly brave for the Beals to talk about it. I hope they stop being bigoted on their next step into a happier healthier life. They would really fit in with the dorky theater gays, they would thrive at a drag brunch if they let themselves, you simply cannot tell me otherwise. I think that's why so many people are rooting for them. We see such a joyful future they could access if they wanted to. And Bethy can stay Christian throughout if she wants. My mom loves my nb ass and she loves my trans wife and she preached against white christian nationalism yesterday. She'd welcome them to her Lutheran church so fast they'd poop their pants as long as they don't mind the rainbow flag.
Finding out that Biz had a pseudo girl defined era was not on my bingo card either, but just like with the Dav thing I’m here to learn more and be curious. Great video as always
It feels so validating when people are vulnerable enough to deconstruct in public. Rhett Mclaughlin and now Dav. As someone who cares about religion and went on her own deconstruction journey, it's healing, it's beautiful, it's deepening and important.
Hey Biz this feels very strange to type out but your gods not dead and midnight mass video, actually kind of set me on my deconstruction journey and I want to thank you for bringing the topic back up because it gives me a little bit of an excuse to thank you.
As a ‘Linsey without the d,’ I am thrilled that ‘Dav without the e,’ is the one out here representing us. Also, as someone whose family is mostly Catholic but I wasn’t raised in the church, the shame and spiritual anxiety still rubs off on you. So I totally get the longing to just have the same assured faith as it appears others have. When I was just out of rehab my sponsor could not understand my more reciprocity based pagan practice so she asked me what religion my family was and then made me go to mass. So that Sunday I walked 2 miles in the South Florida August heat to the only Catholic Church in the area. I didn’t find god there but it was the moment I fully realized that the 12 steps were a dogmatic cult and pseudo-scientific snake oil. I never would have stayed clean if I didn’t leave that group. So I guess 1 point for the pope there.
In addition to the zelph on the shelf videos I would also recommend the Antibot. They have some really measured responses to girl defined as well at Paul and Morgan that I find to be really balanced with compassion while not letting people off the hook for harm done
Commenting to boost & second this! I highly recommend the Antibot if you're looking for measured & compassionate responses about all things fundie. It's run by Taylor & occasionally features her husband Drew (ala Genetically Modified Skeptic) & they're both ex-fundie atheists. I find they're both fantastic bridges for explaining the gap between secular & religious America for someone who was raised non-religious and is now agnostic 🎉
Also Jordan and McKays video is great! Especially since Jordan is a couples therapist, so interesting perspectives from her about that. Rachel Oates and fundie Fridays made good videos as well 😊
Hi Biz, love your pillow thoughts. Watching the popularity of the deconstruction movement as a post- re-constructed, Episcopalian-raised Christian has been so bittersweet for me so I also can't stop thinking about it. I was raised in what would be considered 'progressive' Christianity. As an Episcopalian we were never taught a whole host of dangerous fundie beliefs, the biggest one being, in my opinion, the literalist interpretation of scripture. Part of the spiritual practice of my tradition is very much about intellectually wrestling with the divine and the artifacts of culture that our ancestors have left with us. In my confirmation class I was taught to inquire within a community context about faith and consult others, but to ultimately come to conclusions myself. My church was such a special place where no matter what conclusion you came to, you were welcome here, because believing in ultra-specific ways to live life was not necessary to be a part of a community. Wanting to be here, and respect, was all that was required for belonging. Because that was my upbringing, when I deconstructed later some of my harmful beliefs that I did pick up, I did not have a crisis of identity. I didn't lose any jobs houses, friends. The inquiring was already my identity, so it was safe and easy for me to unpack my homophobia, purity culture rhetoric, and ideas about God. I want this type of experience so bad for every type of Christian, and I'm also so happy for girl-defined. But I also feel so sad for them that the spiritual practice of Christianity has been so tied to identity that Bethany might lose everything. It's not fair for them. I want to shout to rooftops that Christianity doesn't have to be so fragile and it doesn't have to be about control. It can be about shooting the shit with your buds about your favorite escapist fantasy cope? I hope dearly that Bethany realizes this. The more people break away from this type of fundie thinking, the more space for love and radical compassion in the world there is. I'm coming to terms with my specific branch of my religion dying out by 2050. But ultimately, if the spirit of radical compassion and love living on in other branches and in all humans gives me a bit of hope. It has been a bittersweet weird time.
Omg I haven't been able to stop thinking about this either. I was trying to explain why it's so wild and weirdly beautiful (?) to my partner last night but just wasn't able to put it into words. Thank you for this video!
The most iconic move of this generation is biz making longass video of the exact flavour of philosophy that the substantially large population of tumblr gays would like as a way to promote her music. Hearing "burn down the farm" after the end of the midnight mass video at 3am was a spiritual experience tbh, and itcs one of my favourite songs now. Your music slaps please keep making it!!!
Finding out that your Snapewives video was the result of a temporary Girl Defined era actually explains so much (and I mean that in a strictly positive way, I love that video)
It brings me so much joy that their relationship (based on what we the public have seen) seems to be so genuinely based on love and trust and respect. Because this is the test, right? Having something like a change of faith, especially when faith is such an integral part of your identity and life, is unbelievably hard and terrifying. The fact that there are people out there who can go through that and listen to each other with respect and decide that their love for each other is the most important thing to them brings me hope.
I've been following the saga of Girl Defined for several years now and I have always been rooting for Bethany. Something about the earnestness the two of them has makes them a lot more compelling or easier to root for than someone like Paul. I loved your thoughts on this!
This was a genuinely kind sentiment and I am really happy to see someone take a second to acknowledge true progress in those that many would argue are “beyond saving” or a waste of their time. With that said, you’re completely right that this doesn’t absolve them of hateful rhetoric but we can only hope that they come to understand that fact themselves through the support of decent people. Thank you so much!
When you said the asmr thing around 17 minutes in... Lmao im not even christian but i listen to christian asmr because their absolute conviction is so alluring and peaceful. I perfectly understand how deeply appealing Christianity is for a lot of people. I'm studying medieval drama right now and it's a weird, compelling look into a society with a level of religious homogeneity that's almost unimaginable to me. But there's something soothing about it-- they all believe, they all hold faith, and their culture orbits around this commonality, for better and for worse. Anyway this is a great video ❤
literally last night i was like ugh i cannot waitttt for the next biz vid, what a blessing to wake up to this. also not the topic i was expecting, and i too have been thinking about this a TON, so an extra treat. thank you for being you!!!
man i love your cat what a perfect and sweet cat im so jealous. great video too ig but like ok we already knew it would be good 🙄 okay now that I actually watched the video this story actually made me smile so much? Like this story right here is proof that therapy works! I'm so happy for these two and hope they continue to find happiness together and continue to grow into people who I can look at without disgust
I revisit your midnight mass video frequently. There’s a certain amount of religious unrest that I feel being someone raised religious - it shows up in the music I listen to (any lingua ignota fans in these parts?) and the creators I love (you do it best). It’s a topic that terrifies me and it’s endlessly fascinating. If I were in a slightly different place in life, I’d have a girl defined era too lol
Just to be that guy and nitpick a really minor point, there are very few Christian denominations who believe in biblical literalism, and as far as the church I was raised in (Eastern Orthodox), it's actually really hammered into you that the bible is written by man and isn't meant to be taken as 100% correct dogma. Dogma in my church is actually determined by church consensus. For Catholics, dogma is decided by whatever the Pope says. Those are the two largest churches in the world. This idea that the bible is a literal document and the actual word of God himself is a uniquely Protestant idea
@@betterlatethannever4536 Yeah I mean I grew up in Tennessee, right in the middle of the Bible Belt so I get that. I just hear that so often as the main case against Christianity - that the Bible is inconsistent. I always, think..."So what? It's written by people over hundreds of years that didn't know each other. Of course it isn't consistent!" but then I remember that they probably have only experienced biblical literalism. However, Biz said she grew up Catholic, so I was kind of surprised to see her making that point.
I was also raised catholic, in my experience people prefer to reference the bible and their interpretation over whatever the pope says. He doesn't have that much leverage to make changes anyway. The rituals and symbols can't be touched, and in this context he can't do what the pope who made lilith part of the canon did. All he can do is, very slowly, alter the institution's stance is certain topics and highlight some passages and share his interpretation. Catholics very much believe the bible is the word of God.
I was also raised in the Eastern Orthodox church. I'm not sure if the religion itself actually sais that the Bible is imperfect and made by humans. I think that the official story is that the Bible was written according to God's will, it's just our interpretation that can be bad and that's why we all have to listen to what the priests say instead. But more important than what the doctrine itself sais, is how the religion manifests in society: people in Orthodox countries simply don't read the Bible and never quote it, despite always owning one. Also, I would dare say that nowadays, Orthodox Christianity (and Catholicism as well) has waaay less power over the lives, thoughts and actions of its followers than Evangelical religions.
I'm an ex 2x2, and I really appreciate you speaking on radical compassion and high exit costs for those deconstructing. I'm seeing it constantly from others close to me, since we are having a lot of... bad things coming to light in my former church right now. radical compassion really really works, and my mother is becoming a kind of safe place for women that are being ostracized by the church. I just appreciate anything on this topic
YASSS Daniella Mestyanek Young’s interviews on Cults to Consciousness changed my life during a very dark period of my deconstruction. I’m looking forward to reading her book once I’m in a more stable place mentally and emotionally. Thank you so much for acknowledging that deconstruction is a long process for people from high-control groups, and all our harmful beliefs don’t just evaporate in a single “aha” moment. Sending harshness and sarcasm back at fundies is like throwing water at an electrical fire. Even when you’re in the process of deconstructing, hearing harsh and un-compassionate criticisms of beliefs you used to hold as holy can trigger the indoctrinated response that “the world hates you” and slow down (or even reverse) deconstruction.
I am such a Danielle Mestyanek Young STAN you have no idea!! And I agree it’s hard not to lash out when someone is attacking your identity/rights to exist as a human and what not but we have to start somewhere (at least those of us who are able to)
I adore your content, every video I come away feeling a little bit more understanding of whatever topic you're talking about and more compassionate to whoever the story is about. I hope one day I'll be able to express myself with as much eloquence and empathy as yourself!
Biz is such a criminally underrated channel. I know it's still fairly young and late to the party of video essaysist/deconstruction vibes.... But God damn I would listen to this woman read me the phone book and explain how the ad section somehow connects to Diogenes and some random Philisophical French Revolution era dude ive never read... and just NEVER get tired of the rabbit hole. Keep it up, Biz!!!!
as an ex-christian who was raised pretty strictly eastern orthodox christian, i also kind of clung to christianity for a while as this escapist fantasy, an imaginary world in which everything can be forgiven and everything is part of a big plan so you'll be okay. the church was shitty to me for most of my life. i kind of left, but there was about a year during one of the worst periods of my life when i was dragged back to the church after not having been a practicing christian for a while. i had myself convinced christianity could save and fix me, because that's how the christian church markets itself, as something that can save and fix and redeem you because you need fixing and redeeming. and that's bullshit. they lie to draw in vulnerable people and then hurt them. there's a reason abuse is so common and so easily hidden in the christian church, it's basically part of the system. nothing hurt me more in that time honestly than trying to seek help in the church and being told the shit i was going through was gods will or whatever other bullshit along those lines they like to spout when your life is inconvenient to them and they have nothing real to offer. i prayed for fucking years, i tried so hard to be a "good christian," i spent most of my life hoping things would get better if i just tried to be a better person thinking i was a horrible person and deserved to be miserable. i still think i'm a piece of shit but at least i can sometimes believe i deserve to be happy now. i'm generally wary of most organized religions at this point because of the interactions i've had with these kinds of religious people and of how entrenched in politics and profit it's all become. it's exhausting to talk to someone who thinks i'm going to hell for whatever of the many things wrong with me they decide offends them. it's exhausting to talk to someone who thinks they're entitled to doing whatever the fuck they want because they can justify or escape personal responsibility via god. anyway most of this is irrelevant i just had a thought and ended up writing this whole rant. sorry lol.
and the worst thing is that the core concepts of christianity are good. they've just historically been, and are currently being, executed very very poorly. the flexible interpretability of the bible allows for a lot of interpreters to, in bad faith, take only what they can twist to serve them. and over time a lot of those interpretations survived and are preferred over others because they serve certain people the best. but it's not supposed to be serving them, they're meant to serve it. anyway i'm just so pissed constantly at the whole horrible mess that is the christian church. sorry for going off again. i guess i have a lot of shit to say that's probably already been said hundreds of times so it's all staying in youtube comments to never be seen.
and god, look at what keeps happening. christians were persecuted, they gained power, they persecuted others. those others eventually gained power and persecuted others. now we have a world of angry hurt people taking eyes like it's their goddamn job and feeling justified in it. the state of the world is devastating. religion is only useful if it is providing more good to the world than bad, and right now it's mostly dividing people and providing justification for violence and hatred. sorry, i'm done now. last comment on this, i swear.
I love your thoughts on this. I'm glad you mentioned the cost to them among their community and how this isn't easy. It's not happening in a vacuum. I only became aware of this through Zelph but I'm fascinated by people's genuine empathy in this
Your videos literally make me feel so warm and comforted. I get so conflicted about these kinds of people because part of me wants to just make fun of them and hate on them and the other part is like "I was just like these people when I was younger and I'm so glad I'm out of cult and I needed support and empathy to get out of it". But I love that you approach this with genuine love and choosing humanness over taking sides. Also I love that you recognized that they still have problems and that doesn't mean we cant talk about their improvements. People think so black and white, like you're either perfect or you're ontologically evil, which is just an impossible mindset to have if you want to make any progress with humanity. Sorry this is so rambling and if it doesn't fully make sense I just have so much thoughts and I love your videos so much you literally get it fr fr I'm starting to feel like only other ex-christians will ever fully understand me P.S. I'm confused about the part where you said Midnight Mass made you want to go to church again like wouldn't that show have an opposite effect 😭
BIZ!! I always get so excited when you upload, the way you explain your thoughts scratches my brain, it’s like I’m having a late-night conversation with a good friend
I really love your take on radical compassion. I luckily never had to deconstruct from anything since my parents are ultra-agnostic, but for whatever reason I am deeply invested in and fascinated by fundamentalist deconstruction as a concept. Purely by chance, I've met so many people in the process of deconstruction and their stories are harrowing. I've met people who have had to live out of their car because their family kicked them out, people whose entrenchment in purity culture played a big part in them becoming victims of CSA & SA, people who can barely talk to their parents anymore (if at all), and a lot of people who are left in perpetual confusion and fear because they never learned how to live without the certainty that fundamentalism provides. Deconstruction is a very, very brave thing. Idk if I would have had the guts to do it if I grew up in an environment like that... and I would hope that if that were my situation, people would be patient with me as I unlearn and learn. All that is to say, I think it's really touching to see so many people be able to hold the nuance of both being able to be critical of the harm Bethy has perpetuated while also being genuinely excited for her to possibly grow beyond that :)
oh my GOD why did this not show up in my algorithm this has been living rent free in MY head since it happened! I am yet to watch your take but just wanted to come down here and say I am rabid and ready for this video lmao
This is the first time I'm seeing u. I wanted a straight explanation of what happened & that's exactly what I got with this, along with some laughs. Good work!
i had been following their saga through Fundie Fridays for years now and I was so floored and so moved watching them beginning to deconstruct, i never would have imagined in my wildest dreams
I'm the oldest of four kids, and only one of my siblings is still a Christian--and he believes in the universal Christ, that God's aim is to restore and save all people, not just those who believe, which isn't something that jives with the type of faith we were raised in. I and my sister deconstructed first, and our youngest brother went later (his experience was connected both to having worked at a church then being fired in a really disrespectful way for no reason, plus being gay in a faith community that did not support that). My sister said it was a process that was most painful when her friends from church attempted to reconvert her, then dropped her when that didn't work. I agonized and overthought while my patient spouse just waited it out with me, then we chose quite deliberately to finish out any obligations we'd committed to at church and then left together. The thing that surprised me most about it was that when I no longer believed and no longer attended church, there was no huge void in my life like I'd been told unbelievers had. I don't miss church, and I don't feel the need for that kind of structure in my life.
honestly ive been mildly curious about girl defined but only really kept up with them through Oh No Ross and Carrie, i was procrastinating watching those big deconstructing vids just cause it's felt a bit weird to watch people scrutinize every single second of a video. chose this video cause it was emitting much chiller vibes and im glad i did
i’ve been going through a similar phase where i feel nostalgic about being christian, so it’s nice to know that i’m not the only one who sometimes feels like being christian would be easier
This story is an excellent reminder that at the end of the day we're all just a different copy of the same creature. We may have our differences here and there, some of us may fall for lies, and some of us will even commit acts of violence, physical or otherwise. Hell, some of us might even feel righteous in doing so. But when we allow ourselves to connect with one other on a deeply human level, one could even say a spiritual level, there is room for complete understanding and an infinity of compassion. Fundamentalists, bigots, assholes, fascists, etc. Deep inside we all have a beating heart and a body full of blood. No superficialities can rob somebody of their humanity. And we deserve to be understood and loved. This should be common sense but unfortunately that's not the way it is, but when I hear a story like this it gives me the strength to keep clinging on to hope for a better tomorrow. Because I love us so, so much.
I grew up Baptist and became Atheist at 18 (31 now). I learned of girl defined through Cody and Noel and I watch Fundie Fridays sometimes. It's interesting to me because of my past but also very triggering. I'm a bit jealous that this is just an interest to you and girl defined were soothing to you before and you had a great week, as opposed to being triggered by this content and still trying to deal with the religious trauma and shame and difficulties with relationships. Ugh. I'm a little bitter haha. Nothing to do with you.
My heart definitely goes out to you here I’m sorry you had such a rough experience with not only the church but this whole situation bringing things up :/ I can see how it’s super triggering to see outsiders relishing in something that was so impactful. I was never in a high control group like that so I’ll never really know, and I appreciate you sharing this here so myself and others can remember that it’s not all fun and games for everyone involved, even if it is a step in the right direction for some. Thank you for your story & time ❤️
Negl, I don't know you or Dav, but based on what little I've seen of Dav...he would absolutely love your work. Especially the Midnight Mass video, I think that one would really speak to him.
ya! I keep saying other people posting stuff on this: the antibot and her husband's response is the only one who I really listened all the way through. very nice takes, very good perspective coming from them. I recommend their video as they are coming from a very similar background. I think you are one of the few other people who I would be interested in hearing from on the subject.
Personally pretty scared for how public they're gonna get with this. They're already pretty public and there's a dynamic where it people on the internet leave comments supporting Dav, and demonizing/belittling Bethany (those "I hope you find happiness, Dav" comments are especially rough for Bethany I imagine). Without the internet, Dav's position is already high pressure, exeistentially terrifying (how do I live my life and love my wife AND deconstruct my faith and raise kids), but Dav is also "on the side" of the internet haters. Deconstructing probably feels like a betrayal in the first place and all these outside influences will muddy the waters, and it's such a difficult conversation already. Anyway, prayin for Dav, as it were.
christianity really fascinates me personally, and semi-following these people's religious journeys is wild. I was raised christian but I never believed it from like 2nd grade onward, but still being forced into that environment for 18 years definitely changes something inside a person. I also just got done a tattoo of jesus from an old irish myth where he has fairy wings and breasts (to commemorate my year anniversary of coming out as trans), so there's probably still some sort of incongruence there lol. I study art history and I find myself being drawn to studying religious art, so with all this together I think it is possible for someone to have kind of a "parasocial" relationship to christianity and religion even if they don't actually believe it, and that's been really fun to explore personally. Anyways, there's not really a point to this ramble I just felt like putting it into the world.
I absolutely love your videos and the stream of consciousness you manage to create, it always leads me to view things from a different perspective and you have just an amazing unique delivery! This video is something special for me, as I fell into a fundie church when I was younger and had a lot of these incredibly harmful beliefs, and then slowly deconstructed when I started going to university and meeting lot's of different people. I got familiar with Girl Defined through atheist UA-camrs while deconstructing, so always from a critical lens, and I was familiar until about the Paul & Morgan Video, so Dav actually not being christian anymore was still news. Through all of this it was really interesting to see Bethany get the idea how harmful purity culture can be and I really wish her the best and that she can work through this. From my own journey I know how hard it is to let go of such core beliefs that fundamentally shape your reality, as especially this fundie christianity really integrates into every single aspect of your life to something you constantly think about. The other side of the coin is, as a bisexual trans woman, that her current views are still very harmful to me directly, but I do see a lot of potential, especially since they seem so much more open toward different points of view, for them to question and let go of these beliefs. I was very homophobic myself in that phase, and I'm so glad I was able to work through that, and I wish the same for them.
Hamish Linklater is the only person that has gotten me to feel pulled to religion purely through that incredible performance (as well as Mike Flanagan for writing it) in Midnight Mass, not even my dearest friend has been able to get close
I've always been of the opinion that , while these types of religions may not be the same for me , there is a beautiful potential Element in a lot of these beliefs. The comfort and guidance that it brings some people is beautiful, not to mention it from an artistic and cultural standpoint. It's all the more unfortunate when it's used to perpetuate these ideas because of how beautiful it has the potential to be
As an ex-mormon who has followed Zelph on the Shelf for a while, I’m so happy with all the attention they’ve been getting over the past few days with this. They almost always handle every subject they cover with an empathetic lens. Are they perfect? No. It’s very easy to get a little cynical and mean spirited when you breakaway from a high demand religion and see people using the same tactics that people used on you before you escaped (especially in the earlier stages of your deconstruction) That said, you can tell they try to approach everything with as much compassion as they can muster, which is refreshing.
I've heard of pillow talk, but oddly, I think I prefer foot-of-the-bed 3am ramblings. Well, at least yours, anyhow. Anyone else is catching these hands.
My worlds have collided! Biz, my "i need to re-do my hair and require an hours-long deep dive to do such" girlie covering the Beal/Girl Defined saga? What benevolent god have we pleased to deserve this! 😊
I started shaking my head so fast when you started saying normal nondenominational churches seem like they would be “chill” 😭😭 like I got told so much wild shit in Sunday school and youth group as a kid
Even as a child the constant distancing from “the culture” talked about in Christian circles and even more so as a Christian adult. Like their slogan “Christian defined in a culture defined world” like what do you think religion is man, peoples faith is, has been, and always will be at the whims of the overton window. There is no way to be a religious person and be free of you specific cultural context, if that were the case there would be a hyper polarized Christian fanbase where one side is advocating for a far right slavery practicing theocracy. And they never specify what “culture” American? English speaking? Western? Idk it’s just always heavily bothered me how it’s so commonplace but it feels like it would take no more than a full minute of critical thinking to question
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This video was opening night of Star Wars for a very very specific subset of people.
don't call me out like this lmao
This
its me. im people.
I screeched the first time I saw this😭
i too am people
Bethy and Dav made me realize that love legitimately is stronger than hate.
Totally with you on the compassion part, especially at this point in their public deconstruction journeys. A lot of high control religious groups really rely on the fact that the outside world is hostile to their beliefs, because it means that as people start rethinking their faith they get backlash from outside the religion for the parts of their beliefs that they may still be working with and that backlash can help to push them back into the faith as that "proves" they'll only ever be accepted there. But if Dav and Bethy are met with encouragement, compassion, and love that shows that there is space for them and anyone questioning their faith to be themselves as they work through untangling which parts of their beliefs are harmful and which they want to keep
This!
i get excited and start doing cartwheels whenever biz uploads
cartwheels? that’s baby shit. biz uploads and I do a triple-salchow half-pike barspin handplant to fakie
@@lettersnstuff A triple-salchow half-pike barspin handplant to fakie? That's single cell organism excreta diffused through the cell membrane. I vibrate into another dimension using the mental powers granted to me by our one true Empress, the alternate reality where Biz has ascended to her rightful throne to rule the universe. I am pleased to be the Footstool of the Empress while she watches the newly posted video on the Cross-Dimension YouViewer which allows the Empress to watch any UA-cam video from any dimension.
All glory be to the Empress.
based pfp
@@cockroachbait LIKEWISE I love mob psycho :3
you’re so real for that, i for one do an impressive backflip maneuver
No but being an ex-Catholic lesbian and thinking “I wish I could just be good Christian housewife and then my life would BE FINE FOREVER” is so real and definitely a thought that still creeps into my head these days. Before I knew I was gay, I definitely had a long “I want to be a nun” phase too. Anyway, if you can’t tell lol, I really related to your bit in the middle and you are definitely not alone in that escapist mindset!
The nun phase: Oh, you too 😅😅😅
More and more each day, I'm becoming aware that I've never had an original experience 😅The way I STILL have a small alter space with Hildegard von Bingen on it.
Omg hi!! I'm also a lesbian ex catholic. I never had the nun phase but I see why many would!! It's interesting hearing from other ppl and their experiences :0
I’m not even Christian and I had a ‘I want to be a nun phase’ (I’m just autistic and like routine I didn’t even know I was gay at the time)
My heart will explode with joy if all this ends with Bethy starting to play basketball again.
YES GIVE BETHY HER SPORTY SPICE ERA NOW
I think the thing that elevates these videos is they way biz is able to talk about people and subjects who are easy to dunk on or ridicule on a surface level and really make you stop and think without being mean ,but still able to be critical .
This is genuinely so sweet. Just a lovely, lovely look at some people growing up into their own opinions. I am an Atheist. I was raised and atheist and will likely die an atheist but my best friend is a practicing baptist (English baptist - they're much more chill than southern Baptists) and I've seen how her faith brings her great comfort. I went to a protestant primary school so I know more about christianity than the average atheist and I will use Christian ideas to comfort her when she needs it and she very deliberately doesn't use explicitly christian ideas to comfort me and honestly half the time it will end up being the same advice framed differently.
There can always be a little more compassion in the world for people who are not like yourself.
As a pastor's kid, the Baird sisters have a lot of similar Religion-as-Family-Business energy. I remember what it was like to be questioning and to no longer be christian while still in the public eye of the Christian community and I have a lot of empathy for both Dav and Bethy. It's very easy to "toe the company line" and say what's expected of you or only have acceptable public differences with your family out of a place of wanting to support people you love and it simply being easier. I havent been christian for forever and I can STILL "speak christian" and still have christian opinions on theology that isnt even mine anymore. I also know how the sausage is made and there are WAY more "Christian atheists" and Christians who are there for the community and the culture than you might expect. It isnt all dogmatic even among the most devout, they just dont always have room to talk about it. It is incredibly brave for the Beals to talk about it. I hope they stop being bigoted on their next step into a happier healthier life. They would really fit in with the dorky theater gays, they would thrive at a drag brunch if they let themselves, you simply cannot tell me otherwise. I think that's why so many people are rooting for them. We see such a joyful future they could access if they wanted to. And Bethy can stay Christian throughout if she wants. My mom loves my nb ass and she loves my trans wife and she preached against white christian nationalism yesterday. She'd welcome them to her Lutheran church so fast they'd poop their pants as long as they don't mind the rainbow flag.
Finding out that Biz had a pseudo girl defined era was not on my bingo card either, but just like with the Dav thing I’m here to learn more and be curious. Great video as always
what can I say I contain multitudes
It feels so validating when people are vulnerable enough to deconstruct in public. Rhett Mclaughlin and now Dav. As someone who cares about religion and went on her own deconstruction journey, it's healing, it's beautiful, it's deepening and important.
Hey Biz this feels very strange to type out but your gods not dead and midnight mass video, actually kind of set me on my deconstruction journey and I want to thank you for bringing the topic back up because it gives me a little bit of an excuse to thank you.
Ahhh I’m so glad I could help you through that first step! I know it’s a really wild psychological journey - I hope you’re doing well ❤️
As a ‘Linsey without the d,’ I am thrilled that ‘Dav without the e,’ is the one out here representing us.
Also, as someone whose family is mostly Catholic but I wasn’t raised in the church, the shame and spiritual anxiety still rubs off on you. So I totally get the longing to just have the same assured faith as it appears others have. When I was just out of rehab my sponsor could not understand my more reciprocity based pagan practice so she asked me what religion my family was and then made me go to mass. So that Sunday I walked 2 miles in the South Florida August heat to the only Catholic Church in the area. I didn’t find god there but it was the moment I fully realized that the 12 steps were a dogmatic cult and pseudo-scientific snake oil. I never would have stayed clean if I didn’t leave that group. So I guess 1 point for the pope there.
_This was a read and I think I need more?_
In addition to the zelph on the shelf videos I would also recommend the Antibot. They have some really measured responses to girl defined as well at Paul and Morgan that I find to be really balanced with compassion while not letting people off the hook for harm done
Commenting to boost & second this! I highly recommend the Antibot if you're looking for measured & compassionate responses about all things fundie. It's run by Taylor & occasionally features her husband Drew (ala Genetically Modified Skeptic) & they're both ex-fundie atheists. I find they're both fantastic bridges for explaining the gap between secular & religious America for someone who was raised non-religious and is now agnostic 🎉
Also Jordan and McKays video is great! Especially since Jordan is a couples therapist, so interesting perspectives from her about that.
Rachel Oates and fundie Fridays made good videos as well 😊
Hi Biz, love your pillow thoughts. Watching the popularity of the deconstruction movement as a post- re-constructed, Episcopalian-raised Christian has been so bittersweet for me so I also can't stop thinking about it. I was raised in what would be considered 'progressive' Christianity. As an Episcopalian we were never taught a whole host of dangerous fundie beliefs, the biggest one being, in my opinion, the literalist interpretation of scripture. Part of the spiritual practice of my tradition is very much about intellectually wrestling with the divine and the artifacts of culture that our ancestors have left with us. In my confirmation class I was taught to inquire within a community context about faith and consult others, but to ultimately come to conclusions myself. My church was such a special place where no matter what conclusion you came to, you were welcome here, because believing in ultra-specific ways to live life was not necessary to be a part of a community. Wanting to be here, and respect, was all that was required for belonging. Because that was my upbringing, when I deconstructed later some of my harmful beliefs that I did pick up, I did not have a crisis of identity. I didn't lose any jobs houses, friends. The inquiring was already my identity, so it was safe and easy for me to unpack my homophobia, purity culture rhetoric, and ideas about God. I want this type of experience so bad for every type of Christian, and I'm also so happy for girl-defined. But I also feel so sad for them that the spiritual practice of Christianity has been so tied to identity that Bethany might lose everything. It's not fair for them. I want to shout to rooftops that Christianity doesn't have to be so fragile and it doesn't have to be about control. It can be about shooting the shit with your buds about your favorite escapist fantasy cope? I hope dearly that Bethany realizes this. The more people break away from this type of fundie thinking, the more space for love and radical compassion in the world there is. I'm coming to terms with my specific branch of my religion dying out by 2050. But ultimately, if the spirit of radical compassion and love living on in other branches and in all humans gives me a bit of hope. It has been a bittersweet weird time.
Omg I haven't been able to stop thinking about this either. I was trying to explain why it's so wild and weirdly beautiful (?) to my partner last night but just wasn't able to put it into words. Thank you for this video!
The most iconic move of this generation is biz making longass video of the exact flavour of philosophy that the substantially large population of tumblr gays would like as a way to promote her music. Hearing "burn down the farm" after the end of the midnight mass video at 3am was a spiritual experience tbh, and itcs one of my favourite songs now. Your music slaps please keep making it!!!
Finding out that your Snapewives video was the result of a temporary Girl Defined era actually explains so much (and I mean that in a strictly positive way, I love that video)
It brings me so much joy that their relationship (based on what we the public have seen) seems to be so genuinely based on love and trust and respect. Because this is the test, right? Having something like a change of faith, especially when faith is such an integral part of your identity and life, is unbelievably hard and terrifying. The fact that there are people out there who can go through that and listen to each other with respect and decide that their love for each other is the most important thing to them brings me hope.
honestly 100%. my dad deconstructing ended in my parents divorcing (there were other problems too) so it’s nice to see that it’s not a steadfast rule
The framing of the video gives the vibes of me sitting on the floor and being infodumped to at a sleepover and I love that.
I've been following the saga of Girl Defined for several years now and I have always been rooting for Bethany. Something about the earnestness the two of them has makes them a lot more compelling or easier to root for than someone like Paul. I loved your thoughts on this!
paul is a downright horrible person but i always felt like bethany was mostly misguided and indoctrinated
This was a genuinely kind sentiment and I am really happy to see someone take a second to acknowledge true progress in those that many would argue are “beyond saving” or a waste of their time. With that said, you’re completely right that this doesn’t absolve them of hateful rhetoric but we can only hope that they come to understand that fact themselves through the support of decent people. Thank you so much!
No - thank YOU for your time & such a lovely comment !
When you said the asmr thing around 17 minutes in... Lmao im not even christian but i listen to christian asmr because their absolute conviction is so alluring and peaceful. I perfectly understand how deeply appealing Christianity is for a lot of people.
I'm studying medieval drama right now and it's a weird, compelling look into a society with a level of religious homogeneity that's almost unimaginable to me. But there's something soothing about it-- they all believe, they all hold faith, and their culture orbits around this commonality, for better and for worse.
Anyway this is a great video ❤
right like I want to be THAT sure about literally anything in my life 😭
literally last night i was like ugh i cannot waitttt for the next biz vid, what a blessing to wake up to this. also not the topic i was expecting, and i too have been thinking about this a TON, so an extra treat. thank you for being you!!!
man i love your cat what a perfect and sweet cat im so jealous. great video too ig but like ok we already knew it would be good 🙄
okay now that I actually watched the video this story actually made me smile so much? Like this story right here is proof that therapy works! I'm so happy for these two and hope they continue to find happiness together and continue to grow into people who I can look at without disgust
theres actually no one else in the world i would rather hear speak about this
Dav and Bethy filmed a collab with Zelph On the Shelf!!! I am losing my mind waiting for it to drop.
NO WAY I AM SO EXCITED
@@harpyspeaks ZOTS is also currently fundraising for a trip to Texas for an in person collab with Dav and Bethy!!!
wait WHAT?! this was not on my bingo card for any year. wild.
They what!? How did I miss this!
I revisit your midnight mass video frequently. There’s a certain amount of religious unrest that I feel being someone raised religious - it shows up in the music I listen to (any lingua ignota fans in these parts?) and the creators I love (you do it best). It’s a topic that terrifies me and it’s endlessly fascinating. If I were in a slightly different place in life, I’d have a girl defined era too lol
I think the truest believers tend to be most able to change.
Just to be that guy and nitpick a really minor point, there are very few Christian denominations who believe in biblical literalism, and as far as the church I was raised in (Eastern Orthodox), it's actually really hammered into you that the bible is written by man and isn't meant to be taken as 100% correct dogma. Dogma in my church is actually determined by church consensus. For Catholics, dogma is decided by whatever the Pope says. Those are the two largest churches in the world. This idea that the bible is a literal document and the actual word of God himself is a uniquely Protestant idea
like, yes, but protestant culture is massive in the US. like when you're in it, it feels endless.
@@betterlatethannever4536 Yeah I mean I grew up in Tennessee, right in the middle of the Bible Belt so I get that. I just hear that so often as the main case against Christianity - that the Bible is inconsistent. I always, think..."So what? It's written by people over hundreds of years that didn't know each other. Of course it isn't consistent!" but then I remember that they probably have only experienced biblical literalism. However, Biz said she grew up Catholic, so I was kind of surprised to see her making that point.
I was also raised catholic, in my experience people prefer to reference the bible and their interpretation over whatever the pope says. He doesn't have that much leverage to make changes anyway. The rituals and symbols can't be touched, and in this context he can't do what the pope who made lilith part of the canon did. All he can do is, very slowly, alter the institution's stance is certain topics and highlight some passages and share his interpretation. Catholics very much believe the bible is the word of God.
I was also raised in the Eastern Orthodox church. I'm not sure if the religion itself actually sais that the Bible is imperfect and made by humans. I think that the official story is that the Bible was written according to God's will, it's just our interpretation that can be bad and that's why we all have to listen to what the priests say instead. But more important than what the doctrine itself sais, is how the religion manifests in society: people in Orthodox countries simply don't read the Bible and never quote it, despite always owning one.
Also, I would dare say that nowadays, Orthodox Christianity (and Catholicism as well) has waaay less power over the lives, thoughts and actions of its followers than Evangelical religions.
I'm an ex 2x2, and I really appreciate you speaking on radical compassion and high exit costs for those deconstructing. I'm seeing it constantly from others close to me, since we are having a lot of... bad things coming to light in my former church right now. radical compassion really really works, and my mother is becoming a kind of safe place for women that are being ostracized by the church. I just appreciate anything on this topic
honestly what is radical compassion if not “come as you are”
you're on it too!? holy shit i love when all my favorite creators cover the same things, its so cool to hear the different perspectives
it has CONSUMED MY PERSONALITY
YASSS Daniella Mestyanek Young’s interviews on Cults to Consciousness changed my life during a very dark period of my deconstruction. I’m looking forward to reading her book once I’m in a more stable place mentally and emotionally.
Thank you so much for acknowledging that deconstruction is a long process for people from high-control groups, and all our harmful beliefs don’t just evaporate in a single “aha” moment. Sending harshness and sarcasm back at fundies is like throwing water at an electrical fire. Even when you’re in the process of deconstructing, hearing harsh and un-compassionate criticisms of beliefs you used to hold as holy can trigger the indoctrinated response that “the world hates you” and slow down (or even reverse) deconstruction.
I am such a Danielle Mestyanek Young STAN you have no idea!! And I agree it’s hard not to lash out when someone is attacking your identity/rights to exist as a human and what not but we have to start somewhere (at least those of us who are able to)
I adore your content, every video I come away feeling a little bit more understanding of whatever topic you're talking about and more compassionate to whoever the story is about. I hope one day I'll be able to express myself with as much eloquence and empathy as yourself!
Couple goals, for sure. Hope they keep getting to healthier places on their journey of life!
my superbowl my met gala my the oscars
Somehow I did not put together that this was one of the “wearing makeup in a god honoring way” girls WHAT
the end of bed pov makes this video feel like a sleepover it’s so good
Biz is such a criminally underrated channel. I know it's still fairly young and late to the party of video essaysist/deconstruction vibes.... But God damn I would listen to this woman read me the phone book and explain how the ad section somehow connects to Diogenes and some random Philisophical French Revolution era dude ive never read... and just NEVER get tired of the rabbit hole.
Keep it up, Biz!!!!
that’s actually not a bad idea for a video
Omg what a beautiful crossover, I'm so excited to hear your take
The dav deconstruction has taken over my brain for a week
as an ex-christian who was raised pretty strictly eastern orthodox christian, i also kind of clung to christianity for a while as this escapist fantasy, an imaginary world in which everything can be forgiven and everything is part of a big plan so you'll be okay. the church was shitty to me for most of my life. i kind of left, but there was about a year during one of the worst periods of my life when i was dragged back to the church after not having been a practicing christian for a while. i had myself convinced christianity could save and fix me, because that's how the christian church markets itself, as something that can save and fix and redeem you because you need fixing and redeeming. and that's bullshit. they lie to draw in vulnerable people and then hurt them. there's a reason abuse is so common and so easily hidden in the christian church, it's basically part of the system. nothing hurt me more in that time honestly than trying to seek help in the church and being told the shit i was going through was gods will or whatever other bullshit along those lines they like to spout when your life is inconvenient to them and they have nothing real to offer. i prayed for fucking years, i tried so hard to be a "good christian," i spent most of my life hoping things would get better if i just tried to be a better person thinking i was a horrible person and deserved to be miserable. i still think i'm a piece of shit but at least i can sometimes believe i deserve to be happy now. i'm generally wary of most organized religions at this point because of the interactions i've had with these kinds of religious people and of how entrenched in politics and profit it's all become. it's exhausting to talk to someone who thinks i'm going to hell for whatever of the many things wrong with me they decide offends them. it's exhausting to talk to someone who thinks they're entitled to doing whatever the fuck they want because they can justify or escape personal responsibility via god. anyway most of this is irrelevant i just had a thought and ended up writing this whole rant. sorry lol.
and the worst thing is that the core concepts of christianity are good. they've just historically been, and are currently being, executed very very poorly. the flexible interpretability of the bible allows for a lot of interpreters to, in bad faith, take only what they can twist to serve them. and over time a lot of those interpretations survived and are preferred over others because they serve certain people the best. but it's not supposed to be serving them, they're meant to serve it. anyway i'm just so pissed constantly at the whole horrible mess that is the christian church. sorry for going off again. i guess i have a lot of shit to say that's probably already been said hundreds of times so it's all staying in youtube comments to never be seen.
and god, look at what keeps happening. christians were persecuted, they gained power, they persecuted others. those others eventually gained power and persecuted others. now we have a world of angry hurt people taking eyes like it's their goddamn job and feeling justified in it. the state of the world is devastating. religion is only useful if it is providing more good to the world than bad, and right now it's mostly dividing people and providing justification for violence and hatred. sorry, i'm done now. last comment on this, i swear.
I love your thoughts on this. I'm glad you mentioned the cost to them among their community and how this isn't easy. It's not happening in a vacuum. I only became aware of this through Zelph but I'm fascinated by people's genuine empathy in this
I so enjoy the eloquence and thoughtfulness of each of your videos Biz
Your videos literally make me feel so warm and comforted. I get so conflicted about these kinds of people because part of me wants to just make fun of them and hate on them and the other part is like "I was just like these people when I was younger and I'm so glad I'm out of cult and I needed support and empathy to get out of it". But I love that you approach this with genuine love and choosing humanness over taking sides. Also I love that you recognized that they still have problems and that doesn't mean we cant talk about their improvements. People think so black and white, like you're either perfect or you're ontologically evil, which is just an impossible mindset to have if you want to make any progress with humanity.
Sorry this is so rambling and if it doesn't fully make sense I just have so much thoughts and I love your videos so much you literally get it fr fr I'm starting to feel like only other ex-christians will ever fully understand me
P.S. I'm confused about the part where you said Midnight Mass made you want to go to church again like wouldn't that show have an opposite effect 😭
BIZ!! I always get so excited when you upload, the way you explain your thoughts scratches my brain, it’s like I’m having a late-night conversation with a good friend
I really love your take on radical compassion. I luckily never had to deconstruct from anything since my parents are ultra-agnostic, but for whatever reason I am deeply invested in and fascinated by fundamentalist deconstruction as a concept. Purely by chance, I've met so many people in the process of deconstruction and their stories are harrowing. I've met people who have had to live out of their car because their family kicked them out, people whose entrenchment in purity culture played a big part in them becoming victims of CSA & SA, people who can barely talk to their parents anymore (if at all), and a lot of people who are left in perpetual confusion and fear because they never learned how to live without the certainty that fundamentalism provides. Deconstruction is a very, very brave thing. Idk if I would have had the guts to do it if I grew up in an environment like that... and I would hope that if that were my situation, people would be patient with me as I unlearn and learn. All that is to say, I think it's really touching to see so many people be able to hold the nuance of both being able to be critical of the harm Bethy has perpetuated while also being genuinely excited for her to possibly grow beyond that :)
oh my GOD why did this not show up in my algorithm this has been living rent free in MY head since it happened! I am yet to watch your take but just wanted to come down here and say I am rabid and ready for this video lmao
I was watching this video and I find topic really interesting, but I just can't keep THIS to myself anymore..... You are extremely gorgeous! ❤😊
Literally watched ur snape wives video again last night and here you are I have summoned you
This is the first time I'm seeing u. I wanted a straight explanation of what happened & that's exactly what I got with this, along with some laughs. Good work!
literally just woke up and already best birthday ever cause starting it with a biz video!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY (belated)
@@upinurbiz aaaaaaa thank you! 💛
i had been following their saga through Fundie Fridays for years now and I was so floored and so moved watching them beginning to deconstruct, i never would have imagined in my wildest dreams
I am too well versed on this particular subject. I'm staying for the chapter titles. Very fun.
Break out the good wine, people, there’s a new Biz video!
I'm the oldest of four kids, and only one of my siblings is still a Christian--and he believes in the universal Christ, that God's aim is to restore and save all people, not just those who believe, which isn't something that jives with the type of faith we were raised in. I and my sister deconstructed first, and our youngest brother went later (his experience was connected both to having worked at a church then being fired in a really disrespectful way for no reason, plus being gay in a faith community that did not support that). My sister said it was a process that was most painful when her friends from church attempted to reconvert her, then dropped her when that didn't work. I agonized and overthought while my patient spouse just waited it out with me, then we chose quite deliberately to finish out any obligations we'd committed to at church and then left together. The thing that surprised me most about it was that when I no longer believed and no longer attended church, there was no huge void in my life like I'd been told unbelievers had. I don't miss church, and I don't feel the need for that kind of structure in my life.
girl defined redemption arc??
honestly ive been mildly curious about girl defined but only really kept up with them through Oh No Ross and Carrie, i was procrastinating watching those big deconstructing vids just cause it's felt a bit weird to watch people scrutinize every single second of a video. chose this video cause it was emitting much chiller vibes and im glad i did
Wonderful content! You are delight to listen to.
i’ve been going through a similar phase where i feel nostalgic about being christian, so it’s nice to know that i’m not the only one who sometimes feels like being christian would be easier
This story is an excellent reminder that at the end of the day we're all just a different copy of the same creature. We may have our differences here and there, some of us may fall for lies, and some of us will even commit acts of violence, physical or otherwise. Hell, some of us might even feel righteous in doing so. But when we allow ourselves to connect with one other on a deeply human level, one could even say a spiritual level, there is room for complete understanding and an infinity of compassion. Fundamentalists, bigots, assholes, fascists, etc. Deep inside we all have a beating heart and a body full of blood. No superficialities can rob somebody of their humanity. And we deserve to be understood and loved. This should be common sense but unfortunately that's not the way it is, but when I hear a story like this it gives me the strength to keep clinging on to hope for a better tomorrow. Because I love us so, so much.
It’s a month later and I’m STILL thinking about this way too much. I really can’t wait to see the Zelph on the Shelf collab.
I grew up Baptist and became Atheist at 18 (31 now). I learned of girl defined through Cody and Noel and I watch Fundie Fridays sometimes. It's interesting to me because of my past but also very triggering. I'm a bit jealous that this is just an interest to you and girl defined were soothing to you before and you had a great week, as opposed to being triggered by this content and still trying to deal with the religious trauma and shame and difficulties with relationships. Ugh. I'm a little bitter haha. Nothing to do with you.
My heart definitely goes out to you here I’m sorry you had such a rough experience with not only the church but this whole situation bringing things up :/ I can see how it’s super triggering to see outsiders relishing in something that was so impactful. I was never in a high control group like that so I’ll never really know, and I appreciate you sharing this here so myself and others can remember that it’s not all fun and games for everyone involved, even if it is a step in the right direction for some. Thank you for your story & time ❤️
Negl, I don't know you or Dav, but based on what little I've seen of Dav...he would absolutely love your work. Especially the Midnight Mass video, I think that one would really speak to him.
ya! I keep saying other people posting stuff on this: the antibot and her husband's response is the only one who I really listened all the way through.
very nice takes, very good perspective coming from them.
I recommend their video as they are coming from a very similar background.
I think you are one of the few other people who I would be interested in hearing from on the subject.
Personally pretty scared for how public they're gonna get with this. They're already pretty public and there's a dynamic where it people on the internet leave comments supporting Dav, and demonizing/belittling Bethany (those "I hope you find happiness, Dav" comments are especially rough for Bethany I imagine). Without the internet, Dav's position is already high pressure, exeistentially terrifying (how do I live my life and love my wife AND deconstruct my faith and raise kids), but Dav is also "on the side" of the internet haters. Deconstructing probably feels like a betrayal in the first place and all these outside influences will muddy the waters, and it's such a difficult conversation already.
Anyway, prayin for Dav, as it were.
yeah I hope they’re able to keep their boundaries and what not because being on the internet is wild and throws a wrench into everyone’s plans 😭
A hopeful news? In this climate? Biz you are a (deconstructed)godsend
christianity really fascinates me personally, and semi-following these people's religious journeys is wild. I was raised christian but I never believed it from like 2nd grade onward, but still being forced into that environment for 18 years definitely changes something inside a person. I also just got done a tattoo of jesus from an old irish myth where he has fairy wings and breasts (to commemorate my year anniversary of coming out as trans), so there's probably still some sort of incongruence there lol. I study art history and I find myself being drawn to studying religious art, so with all this together I think it is possible for someone to have kind of a "parasocial" relationship to christianity and religion even if they don't actually believe it, and that's been really fun to explore personally. Anyways, there's not really a point to this ramble I just felt like putting it into the world.
I absolutely love your videos and the stream of consciousness you manage to create, it always leads me to view things from a different perspective and you have just an amazing unique delivery!
This video is something special for me, as I fell into a fundie church when I was younger and had a lot of these incredibly harmful beliefs, and then slowly deconstructed when I started going to university and meeting lot's of different people. I got familiar with Girl Defined through atheist UA-camrs while deconstructing, so always from a critical lens, and I was familiar until about the Paul & Morgan Video, so Dav actually not being christian anymore was still news.
Through all of this it was really interesting to see Bethany get the idea how harmful purity culture can be and I really wish her the best and that she can work through this. From my own journey I know how hard it is to let go of such core beliefs that fundamentally shape your reality, as especially this fundie christianity really integrates into every single aspect of your life to something you constantly think about.
The other side of the coin is, as a bisexual trans woman, that her current views are still very harmful to me directly, but I do see a lot of potential, especially since they seem so much more open toward different points of view, for them to question and let go of these beliefs. I was very homophobic myself in that phase, and I'm so glad I was able to work through that, and I wish the same for them.
Midnight Mass made me go back to church too 😭😭😭
Also ex Catholic, Midnight Mass, yo. So beautifully done.
Hamish Linklater is the only person that has gotten me to feel pulled to religion purely through that incredible performance (as well as Mike Flanagan for writing it) in Midnight Mass, not even my dearest friend has been able to get close
_Bibically Accurate Angels are really dope. I'm glad I found you though- sick beats._
30 seconds is crazy!
I love when Biz talks about religion.
biz video about one of my few youtuber-related interests WITH a kitty walking around? I love this already and I know this video is gonna be great
I've always been of the opinion that , while these types of religions may not be the same for me , there is a beautiful potential Element in a lot of these beliefs. The comfort and guidance that it brings some people is beautiful, not to mention it from an artistic and cultural standpoint. It's all the more unfortunate when it's used to perpetuate these ideas because of how beautiful it has the potential to be
I love the capacity for people to change and that is where my faith will always lie.
I was never really in the girl defined sphere and only learned about them after their heyday, but honestly good for them. And I hope things go well.
As an ex-mormon who has followed Zelph on the Shelf for a while, I’m so happy with all the attention they’ve been getting over the past few days with this. They almost always handle every subject they cover with an empathetic lens. Are they perfect? No. It’s very easy to get a little cynical and mean spirited when you breakaway from a high demand religion and see people using the same tactics that people used on you before you escaped (especially in the earlier stages of your deconstruction) That said, you can tell they try to approach everything with as much compassion as they can muster, which is refreshing.
I've heard of pillow talk, but oddly, I think I prefer foot-of-the-bed 3am ramblings. Well, at least yours, anyhow. Anyone else is catching these hands.
Wow thank you algorithm, biz is delightful 🌸
My worlds have collided! Biz, my "i need to re-do my hair and require an hours-long deep dive to do such" girlie covering the Beal/Girl Defined saga? What benevolent god have we pleased to deserve this! 😊
I have like no clue what the actual topic was about but i had fun listening to you talking about faceless names doing stuff
Oh thank goodness - when life gets you down, Biz may post to make it marginally better ❤
I started shaking my head so fast when you started saying normal nondenominational churches seem like they would be “chill” 😭😭 like I got told so much wild shit in Sunday school and youth group as a kid
I love that you’re aware of the whole thing
Excited to watch!
Beginning around 17 minutes your girl defined era is so deeply relatable as another queer woman
Even as a child the constant distancing from “the culture” talked about in Christian circles and even more so as a Christian adult. Like their slogan “Christian defined in a culture defined world” like what do you think religion is man, peoples faith is, has been, and always will be at the whims of the overton window. There is no way to be a religious person and be free of you specific cultural context, if that were the case there would be a hyper polarized Christian fanbase where one side is advocating for a far right slavery practicing theocracy. And they never specify what “culture” American? English speaking? Western? Idk it’s just always heavily bothered me how it’s so commonplace but it feels like it would take no more than a full minute of critical thinking to question
Wait I didn't expect this at all ??? ??? ??? I guess we can't ALWAYS be on the bad timeline lol
This video rocks, so happy you decided to cover this topic
I'm listening to this whilst trying on dresses for my college ball and it feels like I'm having a super girl deconstruction hangout
This video came out not even 16 hours ago and I’ve already seen it twice.
Thank god I don't have to eat lunch without a new Biz video
15:50 cheers! I was also raised catholic but never made my confirmation
came for the topic stayed for the cat (and the topic. but mostly the kitty)
Super star kitty ❤
I consumed tons and tons of catholic content from like 14-16 for the same reason you watched girl defined. Nice to see a fellow traveler :)
This is some lovely information to suddenly drop in :)
Good for them!!
Why does this channel not have at least 100k subs???