How to Recognize Grooming Patterns | Saprea
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- Опубліковано 29 вер 2024
- Knowing the typical grooming patterns of perpetrators is one of the most important things parents need to know in order protect their children from childhood sexual abuse. Here are six grooming behaviors that every parent needs to know:
1. Forming relationships: Perpetrators usually spend their spare time with children and tend to be more interested in forming relationships with children than adults.
2. Testing boundaries: Perpetrators thrive in secrecy, and testing boundaries helps them know if they can continue without being caught.
3. Touching: They will move from very innocent touching and progress to more sexual touching in order to test the reaction of the child.
4. Intimidating: Perpetrators often use fear or embarrassment to keep a child from telling another person about the abuse.
5. Sharing sexually explicit material: They often share sexualized material in order to normalize sex.
6. Communicating secretly: Often these interactions begin online. They often encourage texting, emailing and all calls to be secret.
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At Saprea, we liberate individuals and society from child sexual abuse and its lasting impacts. We have services that help child sexual abuse survivors find healing from the traumatic effects that have often followed them into adulthood, as well as resources for parents and caregivers to learn how to lower the risk of child sexual abuse in their own homes and communities.
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I searched up how to make grooming patterns for my dog so I don’t groom him too little or too much
😂
Well, I think it's safe for your doggo to get tablets and hugs and told he's your favourite.
Set some boundaries between yall
lol
did this help at all? 😂
@@Kylow0 definitely not
He aint grooming her, he's just a caring uncle.
Fr. Cant even show any affection to ur own niece nowadays
It's a fictional video, settle down with the mind reading
@@webguy943it’s a government plot to continue destroying the family unit.
By dividing friends/family members and sowing distrust and fear into tightly-knit communities, the elite can destabilize the voter base, keep people scared and alone, and financially dependent on government handouts to survive.
It’s what they want. Don’t give in to it.
Make this an Aunt and no one cares.
Oh don't you know that women can't be predators?
How about how women like jizlane maxwell get young girls to party with them before oopsadaisie we're on a remote island with billionaires and politicians
I don't any normal family acting like this
It's something that moron come up with
This really wasn’t hitting the mark for me, coming from a victim of childhood sexual abuse and yes, it was committed by a family member too.
Why what would be more accurate? Or what wasn't accurate in the vid?
@@mryan4452 If I could guess, maybe it's the fact that usually abuse victims are victims - that means they would probably feel bad, oppressed, abused, on edge, guilty about something, etc., and they wouldn't be all smiley, and giggly and shit.
@@whatnani7372 I hear you but I don't know. My guess would have been each circumstance varies a good bit but many groomers would try to develop a close relationship with the abused to attempt to gain trust. Once they gain trust then they try to take advantage bit by bit. Unless they already had control of the victim, in which case the grooming wouldn't be necessary.
@@mryan4452 Maybe, but honestly, I was positing a guess, as to why OP said this video is unrelatable.
Source: trust me bro
it's not always grooming, remember that everyone. but still, you should always be on the lookout (within reason) for your children.
Ok See. I'm like this with my younger family members too, but I get them weird but cool shit like taser knuckles, or deactivated grenades, or candy with scorpions inside them, and I send them dank memes every now and then. I aint buying no Ipads and earrings or whatever the fuc, shit way too expensive! I spend on me first! XD
Imagine just being nice to your niece or your neighbor's relatives just to find yourself behind bars the next morning 😂
These comments are wild 💀 a mix of being on Uncle Cody’s side and not being on his side
No father figure? Plot twist: uncle Cody is just trying to be the father figure so she doesn’t end up a crazy person
i found out.. im grooming myself!
Bro she dialed 911 to talk to Uncle Cody.. something's up here. Help me solve this mystery!
I bought tablets for my neighour's pets . . . am I a groomer?
Ok, a very serious subject needs a bit of humor too.
Be alert,
Stay awake.
Me, named Uncle Cody:::
Whyd he have to be named Uncle Cody? Why not Tom or Mike? Why Uncle Cody??? What you got against people named Uncle Cody?
or he’s just really nice 💀
Where's the dad? I helped raise a little girl that wasn't "mine". I completely and fully stepped into the role. Her mom and I talked about it and agreed on it. Literally no bio dad in the picture. I didn't have kids of my own. She needed me and as it turns out I'm an awesome dad. She is my daughter as far as I'm concerned. I was more than just around; I was really there being the dad she needed in every way. Yeah, I spoiled her from time to time. What is wrong with a man stepping up when there is NO OTHER DAD! I almost asked her if I could adopt her and still might, I didn't want to put that pressure on her. Change that to an aunt and no one cares. This is just man hating.
i read this as "how to recognize grooming parents"
Here's the question: is it REALLY UNCLE Cody or is it "uncle" Cody?
Where’s the video warning about Aunt Peg?
I think you have to be a little more discerning than this. Ad shows I'm very close to my nephew as his aunt. We do a lot of things together. And I do love him, but this ad made. Even our relationship seemed like. It would be really weird when really. I just love him and we're close. I have no doubt that these are some of the tactics.A groomer would use but you also have to be very cautious not to just accuse someone
So if an aunt gives her niece a ride home and buys her a tablet and earrings, it's perfectly fine, I'm guessing?
Yes probably because sexual predators are overwhelmingly male. If however she sent a wink emoji that might be sus.
Fell right into the trap. So if an aunt took a nephew home and bought him stuff it would still be okay? checkmate
Yes, its only bad if its male to female.
@@StreetFig did you not read my earlier comment? Sexual predators are overwhelmingly male. To clarify it's not "perfectly" fine if a female is doing it, per my comment earlier it's "probably" fine. "Probably" doesn't mean definitely it just means on the balance of probability more likely than not. Excluding the emoji, if an aunt were sending wink emoji to my daughter I'd be suspect about that (granted women typically send emojis including kiss emojis to each other far more than men would so again I'd be probably less concerned than if a male sent it purely for that reason)
Ah the normalized misandry of the gynocentric social order. gotta love it
I can't see why this is gonna help with grooming my pets...
But remember, kids; if someone buys you something it’s doesn’t mean that they are grooming you, but if someone buys you stuff out of the blue and doesn't let you to tell anyone else about the gift, then you must really look into it.
There's a lot of context to consider. Do your parents know he's giving you stuff? Does he buy nice stuff for other people? And is it a socially appropriate thing: your biological uncle giving you a tablet for Christmas, might be fine. A guy you just call uncle, buying you one out of the blue... yellow alert. Same guy buying you stuff and telling you not to tell your parents... red alert.
If anyone says don't tell anyone about this secret gift, that's A HUGE RED FLAG.
@@DivineLightPaladin I work with kids, and I don't give gifts or do secrets of any sort. Seems safer that way.
It's about a pattern of behavior
@@oddish4352 I don't work with kids, but growing up and interacting with others, that just seems common sense. Gifts are for close family/guardians and same age friends at birthdays and that's it. Secrets are between same age friends and hopefully only about who they have a crush on at school. That's all.
No one noticed that throughout the whole video there was no father figure.
Maybe Cody is trying to be a father figure because she doesn't have one.
The ad of course is subconsciously demonizing men and normalizing single parenthood.
If fathers were more responsible, maybe the video would be different.
No man wants to deal with a paranoid single mom.
I thought this was an update a&w commercial
thank god my mom didn't watch this, otherwise she would have isolated me even more
I hate when parents isolate their kids
so you want to be groomed?
Same bro
Same
ong
Girl talking about boundsries, but she makes her kids hug people against their will 💀
Stop projecting.
Stop projecting!
Yeah that was like a moment of, "oh crap did I start this? I need to draw a line now." For the Mom character
That's really uncomfortable stuff too, people should be aware of that. Making others hug when they're not comfortable and or don't want to, or making it a habit just "because family" devalues and prevents the development of the child's/later adults internal sense of autonomy.
They should have every right to say no to things and have that respected.
Well, we all have our preferences- I never was and remain not a hugger. Still, we need kids to get used to a range of behaviours, make them adaptable, and teach them what their society's range of normality is so they can deal with a range of people within that framework, and recognize better what is actually outside it. The range of acceptable behaviours in North America between adults and children, and more so between adults and kids not their own, is quite small as it is. Hugging is not in itself an act of abuse nor harmful.* We can rightly indulge kids not liking hugs by not doing it to our own kids, without making them neurotic about that behaviour and letting them realize it is normal to millions including some family, and they will be doing it from time to time. All life is like that.
* If you've got a kid in a very small minority with some medical or diagnosable mental health condition, that's potentially different. That will not be many. It certainly was not me.
So uncle cody going to jail for giving her a lift from school and buying her a tablet? Time to never help anyone ever then i guess.
Bro didn't communicate any of it with the mum 🤔 Sus af
yeah imagine if Jesus were just like. “hey lemme help” *sir you are going to JAIL!*
“suffer not the little children to come unto me, for such is the Kingdom of God” - Mark 10:14
@@CalebHigginbotham Jesus literally got killed for helping people under the guise of "corrupting the gospel"
I would not wanna talk to her either tbh
the plot twists in the comments are wild😭
I had a father figure at the place where I was an intern and my mom was getting more curious about that guy, wanted to know more about him and wouldn't let me go alone to his house when he invited me for his birthday. He was a really nice guy and it was hard to convince my mom that he was ok but until she met him and until he got married and had kids she didn't believe that he was just my friend. Now everything is ok, he's such a good guy.
My friend you may be the lucky person among millions to get such an experience. The other percentage is large.
I'm sure you're mother was doing the right thing looking out for you.
I don't think you would be saying this has she allowed you to go to the party alone, got a bad experience and then blame your mother not looking after you.
Your mom choose to be safe than sorry.
You should thank her
@@jenniferfitzgerald9045 I didn't say absolutely anything bad about my mother. I totally understand her. I don't see why would you assume that I hate her for looking after me and no I wouldn't blame her, I would blame him if he did something to me
aren't interns usually college aged adults? what does that have to do with grooming?
@@YY-py1rpAnyone can groom but its mainly adults
@@lovelyiced7608 that's really watering down the word. you can manipulate adults but that's different than grooming
Everything except for the text message with the wink emoji seemed fine tbh
Meh, receiving something as expensive as a tablet or ear rings either randomly or regularly (like not on birthdays or Christmas) from a family member you aren’t necessarily exposed to commonly or close to is them trying to form some sort of bond that isn’t normal to probably like 90% of parents (definition of grooming). Of course this is just a short PSA so there’s not much context but I doubt uncle Cody lives with this girl. His intentions are made pretty dam clear with the wink emoji, but otherwise it’s too late before anyone notices someone’s “intentions” if they ain’t dropping hints like that…
yeah, it seems fine but he’s buying her gifts and getting close to her so that he can gain her trust and take advantage of her
@@gloomybear.420 u gotta experience it to underdetsnd it thing
That's how grooming works: little nice gestures that seem to be just that but are actually tools to manipulate the victim over time. The dangerous thing about grooming is that it's difficult to identify
Kids these days are so naive
moral of the story: if you're a dude, being comfortable with any female can cost you.
Yeah but when a girl does this its fine. or just " oh that's nice of here"
Aim for 18 plus than you are in the clear with the law.
Lmao if you can't tell the difference and think it's all comfortable buddy the call is coming from inside the house
Turning this into a gender thing is already very telling.
Pretty much
Uncle Cody knows what a lousy mother his sister is. Instead of going to pick up her daughter right after school, she starts doing the dishes at home.
Yep. Uncle Cody knew she would be about 5 gin and tonics deep by the time school lets out.
@@ashchaya7676 Uncle Cody for president!
Ikr wth is she doing the dishes, she could be picking her up so cody wouldnt even get the time to do it.
Who said uncle Cody was blood related?
I like how there is only two actresses, the uncle never appears, is like he is some kind of ghost or imaginary creature.
Because if an actor played as Uncle Cody he would get lynched
Grooming is obviously a real thing, but this commercial did a terrible job at portraying it! The man was just being a typical, common, and normal uncle, or "cool uncle" if you want to call it that, and yet he gets portrayed as some kind of a grooming predator! Absolutely ridiculous failure of a commercial!
The fact that I am unable to independently determine if this is satire or not really speaks volumes.
It doesn’t say what the boundaries were or especially what she told this “uncle Cody”. Templates for these will help parents a lot.
ummm if the uncle is a pedophile, the boundaries should be a restraining order
+jadegreen1554 Unfortunately, if the kid is in their pre-teen/teen years age ranges, not all pre-teens/teens will even communicate things like that. And the reason they don't share things in regards to "what she told this 'uncle Cody,'" for her own "privacy reasons." But also due to no communication or even limited communication in regards to things like is the exact reason why some or most if not all parents' end up snooping in their kids' bedrooms at 1 time or another whether they're a teenager or not. And the main reason they snoop is when they either have off feelings or suspicions abt. say the guy they're dating or someone they may have brought into their lives with them that ends up being more toxic than good for both the child and their family.
They're in the description
Is not how grooming works. This is more like the uncle was being a better parent than the mom and the mom got jealous.
How dare uncle Cody be friendly not to some random kid but his own niece. 🤣😂
Uncle Cody was being loving and caring towards his niece.
Mom comes off as the weirdo in this scenario. I'm sure that wasn't the desired outcome, but here we are.
She gives me sociopathic vibes.
yall check if cody got a minecraft channel
This is some weird contrived bullshit, makes me uncomfortable
There's a few things this PSA could have done a lot better...the gifts can be suspicious, but relatives can also act super nice to nieces, nephews, and other younger people they are related to. Explaining why the gifts are part of grooming would help parents and concerned loved ones what to look out for. There's also a lot more involved in grooming, since it can be physical. As someone who was groomed by their mother, I had my boundaries violated by: being bitten right after she kissed me, getting groped in the chest and buttocks regions, getting comments on how big my breasts and butt were, being denied the ability to show affection to her if I asked her to stop, and being called "sexy" or even "not sexy enough". I genuinely appreciate that PSAs are being made on a topic I have had to deal with since I was 4 but without any explanation of what to look out for, whether for someone else or yourself, can lead to victims not realizing what's happening to them, or people being falsely accused of being groomers.
Yeah I found this to be.....weird. All of my aunts and uncles were the nicest people ever, handed me gifts without telling anyone because....why? And nothing ever came of it. Just being nice and giving gifts isn't enough to go on for a PSA, like at all. The only thing even slightly credible is the emoji he used, but even that's a stretch.
literally me being nice to my cousins. and it now constitutes as "grooming patterns" !? f off
You're nice to your cousins without their mums knowing? Sus
Welcome to the modern west💁🏻♂️
Grooming cousins smh.
NAH BUT THE FACT SHE HAD SOAP IN HER HANDS IN THE BEGINNING AND DRIED HER HANDS LIKE THAT😭😭😭😭🤚🤚
edit: OMG TYSM GUYS FOR THE LIKES!!! ILYALLSMM😭😭😭😭🫶🫶
NAHHH FR 😭
STOP IM CRYING LEAVE THE TOWEL ALONE
NOOOO
I don’t see anything wrong with it, what do you mean?
@@SpongeOnion For what it's worth, I have no idea either. She had her hands in soapy dishwater, she dried off her hands. I don't get the problem.
Free Uncle Cody!
I thought identifying grooming pattern means shaving or some hair related
It can have two meanings, the first one is like grooming a dog, taking care of its coat, but the second meaning is shown in the video, about recognizing patterns typically(it’s not always this type of scenario or people, and not often the same motive) used by abusers, pedo files, controlling people, etc
Thank you for this PSA. Now, I will do nothing kind for my nieces ever.
I understand the importance of being aware of these things but I also think the mom kind of jumped to conclusions. I don't know, its just my opinion.
Whoever wrote the script must've come from the expert pool (pediatric doctor, psychologist, PhD) which would be heavily biased against men's rol in parenting
"Hey Cody, can you get ME a tablet too?" I'd milk it a little bit for myself see before teaching him a lesson.
I wonder if anyone would ever dream of doing a video showing how female teachers groom high school boys? And then maybe show how the public gives no support to the victims if they’re male?
Female teacher "has sex" with student.
I hate it, it's disgusting. That's not "having sex", monsters.
I would do it but no one would give a fuck anyways
could also be a next door neighbor for example someone that is not a family member. that would be a lot more concerning. uncles might buy their nieces gifts because they actually do love them not for creepy reasons
Wish uncle Cody would get me a tablet ffs
Honestly, cody‘s just the parent her mom never was..
UNCLE CODY GETTING CALLED OUT THIS ONE😤😤😤🗣️🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯💯💯💯
UNCLE CODY GOING ON A LIST WITH THIS ONE 🔥🔥🔥🗣️💪👹💯
yeah, the based and cool uncles list. 🗿
@@CalebHigginbotham epik
Uncle Cody the only victim in this video
Uncle Cody bro💀💀
Bruh my boi cody was being nicee loll... Maybe show some more evidence before conclusion? Let's not spoil a good relationship man 😭😭😭
I like to give kids gifts, but I've always given them in front of the parents or something very, very cheap. They seem to like sand or Roblox toys or my old clothes. I hope I don't come off as that, but then again, women are seen differently. whereas men avoid avoiding. Mind you these are CHURCH kids that I've known for way long that are family to me. I say, "How are my kids doing?" with the parents nearby. idk I just liked giving them that stuff. :/
Dream going to prison with this one🔥🔥
I absolutely love me family and believe that we should all be close so I do this with my brother and sister and a few of my cousins. I don't always buy them expensive stuff but we grew up poor so whenever I can I like to get them something cause I love them and they deserve to have nice things too. Idk I feel kinda bad now cause I'm a lot older and I've always wanted to have a close family and know that we can rely on each other for help and this video kinda makes me feel a little shitty
Pretty pathetic. This is fearmongering at best and criminal at worst. There’s nothing wrong with the actions portrayed here by uncle Cody. What transpires is that the mom feels like she has to compete with uncle Cody for her daughter’s attention and affection, so she readily plays the “suspicious” card to remove the competition, directly interfering with and manipulating her daughter’s life for her own selfish interests in the process. On top of it all, that’s a teenager, not a clueless 8 year old child. If this were with “teacher Bob”, whose relationship with the girl is expected to be only professional, yes, that would be suspicious. And even then - social awkwardness and loneliness can push people into weird behaviors without ever meaning any harm. But straight up presenting an uncle showing his niece some affection as a warning sign of bad intentions is the true sick behavior here and the one thing raising red flags against the mom.
The uncle is weird as ASF, Blessed Be.
My goodness, he got her a tablet, earrings, and even dropped her of from school! Such terrible behavior DESERVES jail.
Mom is just bitter that Uncle Cody can afford to buy her daughter a tablet and she can't
jealously is one hell of a drug…
Just remember young men keep women at arms distance. Women love drama and think everything is a TNT episode.
Modern men love drama way more 😂 biggest rappers at the moment talking about BBLs 😂
@@keithvdoom that’s the problem modern men aren’t men they are beta males at best. They have been raised by single mothers in a society that has deliberately watered down masculinity.
@@keithvdoom that’s the problem modern men aren’t men. They have been raised by single mothers in a society that has deliberately watered down masculinity and calls it toxic. Real men don’t have the time or the desire to get caught up in catty nonsense that women love to spend time on. Real men realize that if they don’t perform they don’t eat. We aren’t talking beta males who love to live in the their parent or parents basement all the while complaining how hard things are.
As soon as I saw the mom dry her hands without rinsing the soap off I knew she was a psychopath
Im uncle cody btw😅
Bruh this dumb
Empowered parents but there is no dad?
The fact this is an actual video is crazy
Real this is what happened to me, until my sister confronted me about it and I had to stop.
No father in this household ?
There often isn't.
Uncle Cody had recently won powerball. He picked his niece up in his new Lamborghini, and told his niece, she must keep it secret. He was giving her the tablet so they could surprise his sister (her mom) by leaving it on the kitchen table, knowing she would open it. Then she’d work out the riddles on the tablet. Which would then lead her to a house a few blocks away. That house has a big red ribbon around it with a big tag that says, “No more renting! Welcome to YOUR new home Big Sis!”❤
UNCLE CODY DIDNT DO NOTHING!!!!!
I AINT DO NUTHIN
1:22 Mom:"Hey Cody. Can we talk? I think my daughter us grooming you to be her sugar daddy."
Imagine Uncle Cody is on the spectrum and just doesn't understand social dynamics that well.
Uncle Cody could just be trying to get close to the mom not the child. Easiest way to get to a single mother
Uncle Cody was Chris Hansen, btw. Not like we didn't see this one coming.
I need somebody like Uncle Cody in my life.. (im broke to afford anything)
Here’s a question, if this was aunt Cody would this video still be made?
This would have been perfect if it was about internet safety. 🤣
Back in the day 4chan would have taken this and made some hilarious memes out of it.
Bro thought he could be EDP 💀💀💀 execept for his niece
Grooming? But I don't even go to the barber 😂
Got it, I wont talk to my nieces ever again.
Tried to be a decent uncle, gets sent to prison😂
Uncle Cody is innocent
My friend hates this video!
skill issue
it was kinda sussy at the start
It is so important to notice the signs as parents! I love your content.
Thank you! We are so glad.🤍
Uncle Cody is a real one
i dont think my dog wants a tablet
Poor uncle Cody.
Damn Cody Rhodes... what the hell did you do!?!? (͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
I can't get over the fact that the mother used the phrase, "too old for hugs".
Some of these comments are missing the point. Simple gestures aren't an issue and don't necessarily mean grooming. The problem here is consistently going out of your way without parental permission or awareness. Many of you are focusing too much on what the girl is getting from her uncle, seeing it as kind and caring, but the main point to you all should be the mom addressing her lack of awareness about these actions.
Moral: Don’t buy stuff or be nice to your Niece???
Most all that is normal stuff people do, they have a close relationship, that’s normal
I’m close to my niece and if I had money to spare I’d probably buy her stuff too cause she’s awesome and I enjoy her company ^u^
As an uncle this is gross to even think about. I love to buy my nieces and nephews gifts :/ I don’t see why being generous and loving to see them happy is a problem. But I also would never keep things from their parents.
I've always tried to buy my niece's things. I knew my brother couldn't afford to buy them...
Considering there's no father present in this entire video, maybe Uncle Cody is just a decent human being?