Holly, as a 62 yo, I find people in my age group who are stuck in the 1980s, they believe there has been no good ideas, politicians, fashion or music since 1988.
You're right. You cannot control others. You can only control yourself and your own reactions to things. I try to keep this in mind when in difficult situations.
In our age group, we have to realize that people are the way they are. I choose to accept people the way they are. If I don't jive with them, I just disassociate myself from them.
One hundred percent agree, my expectations for my pending exspouse are always triggering me, I’m always trying to set boundaries but this is exhausting. I have to refocus to be the observer of myself. Thank you for your messages.
Thanks Holly for these great tips and techniques. Totally agree about the technique of repeating back and paraphrasing what someone says, showing that they were heard and their message was digested. That alone has often helped to bring the tension level down a notch with difficult conversations.
Holly, you are right, we have to make ourselves happy. It's my birthday week & one of my favorite things to do is to find BRAND NEW things at thrift stores. Items I can use. I found the best pioneer woman steel coffee cup for one dollar! (brand new, never been used) I am saving money & finding items I need! That makes me happy! Even the cashier said, 'you always find the best items!" Plus I shop on "senior citizen discount day" and I get the low price for the new item plus another 25 percent off!
Yes and Law of Allowing+ Law of Attraction: “I allow you to be who you are. My life is now filled with agreeable uplifting people and disagreeable people fade away from me now”😊
I rarely get annoyed with people. I get annoyed by unlikely problematic occurrences, and by myself overlooking something. TV use to be annoying, got rid of cable, solved.
Great Video I can appreciate and have used all of the points, but I really like the fact of detaching yourself from the situation step back. Life is too short to be annoyed ❤❤
Dear Holly, thanks a lot, I totally agree. Some people take a lot of energy, set boundaries. Stay strong inside, love yourself❤ and you can become happy🎉
Hope for the best and prepare for the worst. After a lot of therapy, I have realized that I cannot control anyone but myself and/or my reactions to others. Everyone is fighting their own battles and demons. I’ve chosen to entirely remove toxic people from my life. I control that too. If it’s a relative, I give the bare minimum and exit the situation. I don’t have to waste time and energy on people who don’t love/care about me. I’m just over trying to please everyone. I’m going to please me and those who care about me. I excuse myself and move on.
I found the absolutely BEST way to stay positive in an Annoying and Negative world FULL of Annoying and Negative people ? was to retire and capitalize upon regional economics and buy land beside a remote Mountain Lake 20 Minutes North of Montana on the Canadian side and build myself a new House where there ARE NO Annoying and Negative people ? Just say'in..... and I feel generally speaking for most people during our working years that recognition of a positive attitude is paramount to maintaining our happiness in life regardless of the environment .... early recognition therein primary to health/survival/prosperity in highly dynamic and competitive business environments.. But not surprising then in my view... that as a result of our age/experience/maturity as the years/decade roll by and having prospered..... the pendulum can swing finding our tolerance for fools somewhat wanting devoid of necessity to do so ? if not completely exhausted ? and for no more than because we've been there/done and seen that too many times before.... we just don't have to anymore ? So being able to then choose our environment and the company we keep can be reinvigorating to our faith in human nature/perspective/attitude and health.... FUN again, YIPPEE !
Why should I let go of my expectations? I proposed letting go of people who have no common sense, no manners and who just dont act according to what is proper etiquette. No one teaches manners to their "young ones" (the proper way of behavior in every place and situation). There would be less 'behaviors getting under the skin' if the parents or the teachers insisted on it.
We have a lot of annoying people. Most are Bogans; they are infuriating but mostly harmless. Then there are youth crime specialists who never get locked up, and the list goes on. I am reframing myself as a Grinch and am actively seeking an abandoned, isolated lighthouse. Mostly, I'm triggered nearly every day -a 7th-dan grumpy old man (65). Don't even get me started on drivers. Old white beards in RVs or dittieros. Then there are the endless lawnmower guys in their polo shirts with horizontal strips mowing their lawns every second day for hours. The same old men cause disruption everywhere like when trying to buy petrol in a hurry. Coping with annoying people - still working on it. I do understand why people go postal.
That's good advice, Holly ... Plenty of things irritate me, but I don't have to buy into everything people say and do. But I totally understand what you mean about drunk people, and I would also warn people to be cautious when dealing with a drunk person. This person might hold some type of jealousy or resentment against you. Mix this with alcohol, and you could be in a dangerous situation. On a last note, if someone is trying to irritate you at work, don't worry about it. They will keep doing this until it escalates by their own choice. The HR department will notice a pattern of behavior. They often call this instigating or workplace harassment. I've never seen a coworker get away with this for too long, but I have seen people dismissed for openly expressing hatred for a colleague that they don't even know .... Very strange behavior.
Thanks for sharing. Remember Quirkyalone Day is Feb 14 every year. Quirkytogethers' are included too. Sasha Cagen author created this Day. It's ok to be SINGLE......... Stay healthy and safe in 2025🎉
Valentine Day is for celebrating LOVE of ALL types: celebrate your dearest, long-time friends, and the unconditional love your dog shows you. One doesnt have to be in a romantic relationship to celebrate LOVE
Love your channel , thank you for sharing, your content is concise & to the point will continue to watch , learn & share. By the way I have just started a UA-cam Channel at 54 & so looking forward to sharing my content , learning about myself , educating others etc . ❤
I agree, but it's not always simple. All my life my sister treated me like I am not important, boring, but always telling me she needs me, she needs my support, we are sisters, we are super close etc. But never let me talk about me and my life. She always had to be a center of attention and main drama queen. I would have to listen to her for hours talking about same things, she is a victim, everyone asks her for help but then they are not thankful enough, her hsuband is horrible, she has no money, she has migraine, always the same over and over and ove for hours... When I tried to tell anything about my life, my pain, my problems, she cuts me off and continues about her. When I tried active listening, she likes it, it's all about her, she is a victim always, she needs help, support, everyone around her. I feel like no one in the family knows me, except my mom who passed away 3 years ago. It's always about my sister. Whenever we were together and I tried to have a real sisterhood, to talk to her about everything, she doesn't want to listen unless it's all about her. When we meet someone we know or I know, she ditches me to the side and has to be again in the center. If I try to tell her that's bothering me, she cries and tells me I am horrible to her and she is the vicitim, and everyone then hates me and tell me I should be supportive to my sister. Like I do not matter at all. I tried with constructive advices for all her problems, migraine possible relief, meds, marriage councelor, whatever, we even tried to find her a job many times because she complains she has no money. She never appeared on any interview we arranged even when they really wanted to hire her, she refused every single advice I offered and she always had an excuse. Once after hours and hours of her complaining about same things I told her I can't anymore and I have things to do and she got pissed, angry and just broke phone conversation without a word. If anyone tells her nicely they are really not in the mood for negative talks she cuts that person off, and is hurt and thinks all the worst about them suddenly.. I feel like I can't really deal with her anymore. I still love her, but I want her ONCE freaking time in life not to be a victim, to find job, to try to be happy, to appreciate what she has and I can't listen to complains anymore and I can't be just someone who listens and doesn't matter as person. I did many favors for them and they just didn't even appreciate that. Like they went on Vacation "for10 days" and told me if I don't feed their cat, she will die (they didn't ask me they trehatened me). I love animals so I wend every single day and fed the poor cat, and they didn't leave me any food or coffee, I even had to buy cat food. I was so tired to travel every day, and then they said they will be "couple of weeks late" and I got so angry. Instead of appologizing to me or anything they got angry at me for daring to be upset and just acted like victims again. I couldn't let the poor cat die so I fed her for 2 more weeks. And it's always like that. I have to take care of my popr little sister even though she has husband and adult son and she is always a victim and I NEVER matter in family. Sorry for long post, I am so tired.
It sounds like you are exhausted from all of this drama with your sister. But I encourage you to watch the video again and really listen to what I am saying, especially about not being able to change other people. Sometimes we have to make some tough decisions to protect our own happiness
@@BecomingMe64 Thank you, I get what you are trying to say. It's just sometimes it's really hard to distance yourself from your emotions and expectations, although that only hurts us. I will for sure listen to your videos multiple times.
Great video! Thanks...the things you spoke of are things I really needed to hear right now! I bought your E-book I plan to read it this week I look forward to it. I haven't started it yet because this week was just one of those weeks...my dog got bronchitis, he is ok now thank goodness and now my cat has an eye infection so now I have to take her in to the vet too! They are always so healthy but all the sudden they got sick. And we have a son on the autism spectrum and we had some challenges this week. Anyway, I'm hoping this week will be more calm than my last week!. lol. Take care! Thanks again for all your videos, I enjoy them! :)
Sounds like you've had a tough week! Glad everyone is ok, the book will be there when everything calms down and you can focus. Thank you so much for purchasing it!
Maybe it was the psychologist/sociologist I fell in love with. No worries, I'm in love with my wife. You and your Mother. Narcissist that she is. Here is a question I just discovered: "How do you know you've found the right man?"
Thank you Holly! Of course I’m watching..😎 that was very helpful information and I would love to have coffee in person with you but we live too far away from each other…😩
Holly, as a 62 yo, I find people in my age group who are stuck in the 1980s, they believe there has been no good ideas, politicians, fashion or music since 1988.
You're right. You cannot control others. You can only control yourself and your own reactions to things. I try to keep this in mind when in difficult situations.
In our age group, we have to realize that people are the way they are. I choose to accept people the way they are. If I don't jive with them, I just disassociate myself from them.
One hundred percent agree, my expectations for my pending exspouse are always triggering me, I’m always trying to set boundaries but this is exhausting. I have to refocus to be the observer of myself. Thank you for your messages.
Thank you for putting out positive videos to help others.
Thanks Holly for these great tips and techniques. Totally agree about the technique of repeating back and paraphrasing what someone says, showing that they were heard and their message was digested. That alone has often helped to bring the tension level down a notch with difficult conversations.
Holly, you are right, we have to make ourselves happy. It's my birthday week & one of my favorite things to do is to find BRAND NEW things at thrift stores. Items I can use. I found the best pioneer woman steel coffee cup for one dollar! (brand new, never been used) I am saving money & finding items I need! That makes me happy! Even the cashier said, 'you always find the best items!" Plus I shop on "senior citizen discount day" and I get the low price for the new item plus another 25 percent off!
I love thrifting! Senior citizen day is the best! Happy Birthday!
Yes and Law of Allowing+ Law of Attraction: “I allow you to be who you are. My life is now filled with agreeable uplifting people and disagreeable people fade away from me now”😊
I rarely get annoyed with people. I get annoyed by unlikely problematic occurrences, and by myself overlooking something. TV use to be annoying, got rid of cable, solved.
Great Video I can appreciate and have used all of the points, but I really like the fact of detaching yourself from the situation step back. Life is too short to be annoyed ❤❤
Dear Holly, thanks a lot, I totally agree. Some people take a lot of energy, set boundaries. Stay strong inside, love yourself❤ and you can become happy🎉
So true!
Hope for the best and prepare for the worst. After a lot of therapy, I have realized that I cannot control anyone but myself and/or my reactions to others. Everyone is fighting their own battles and demons. I’ve chosen to entirely remove toxic people from my life. I control that too. If it’s a relative, I give the bare minimum and exit the situation. I don’t have to waste time and energy on people who don’t love/care about me. I’m just over trying to please everyone. I’m going to please me and those who care about me. I excuse myself and move on.
Well said! Exactly where I am in my life too.
Thanks so much Holly great advices !
Glad it was helpful!
Excellent points. My general rule is cordial but firm.
Thanks!
Thank you Larry!
I found the absolutely BEST way to stay positive in an Annoying and Negative world FULL of Annoying and Negative people ?
was to retire and capitalize upon regional economics and buy land beside a remote Mountain Lake 20 Minutes North of Montana on the Canadian side and build myself a new House where there ARE NO Annoying and Negative people ?
Just say'in..... and I feel generally speaking for most people during our working years that recognition of a positive attitude is paramount to maintaining our happiness in life regardless of the environment .... early recognition therein primary to health/survival/prosperity in highly dynamic and competitive business environments..
But not surprising then in my view...
that as a result of our age/experience/maturity as the years/decade roll by and having prospered..... the pendulum can swing finding our tolerance for fools somewhat wanting devoid of necessity to do so ? if not completely exhausted ? and for no more than because we've been there/done and seen that too many times before.... we just don't have to anymore ?
So being able to then choose our environment and the company we keep can be reinvigorating to our faith in human nature/perspective/attitude and health.... FUN again, YIPPEE !
Why should I let go of my expectations? I proposed letting go of people who have no common sense, no manners and who just dont act according to what is proper etiquette. No one teaches manners to their "young ones" (the proper way of behavior in every place and situation). There would be less 'behaviors getting under the skin' if the parents or the teachers insisted on it.
We have a lot of annoying people. Most are Bogans; they are infuriating but mostly harmless. Then there are youth crime specialists who never get locked up, and the list goes on. I am reframing myself as a Grinch and am actively seeking an abandoned, isolated lighthouse. Mostly, I'm triggered nearly every day -a 7th-dan grumpy old man (65).
Don't even get me started on drivers. Old white beards in RVs or dittieros. Then there are the endless lawnmower guys in their polo shirts with horizontal strips mowing their lawns every second day for hours. The same old men cause disruption everywhere like when trying to buy petrol in a hurry.
Coping with annoying people - still working on it. I do understand why people go postal.
You are spot on with awesome insight, your doing great things. 👍
Glad you think so!
I am 67...
Feeling unstoppable ❤
That's good advice, Holly ... Plenty of things irritate me, but I don't have to buy into everything people say and do. But I totally understand what you mean about drunk people, and I would also warn people to be cautious when dealing with a drunk person. This person might hold some type of jealousy or resentment against you. Mix this with alcohol, and you could be in a dangerous situation. On a last note, if someone is trying to irritate you at work, don't worry about it. They will keep doing this until it escalates by their own choice. The HR department will notice a pattern of behavior. They often call this instigating or workplace harassment. I've never seen a coworker get away with this for too long, but I have seen people dismissed for openly expressing hatred for a colleague that they don't even know .... Very strange behavior.
Great points, thank you
Thanks for sharing. Remember Quirkyalone Day is Feb 14 every year. Quirkytogethers' are included too. Sasha Cagen author created this Day. It's ok to be SINGLE......... Stay healthy and safe in 2025🎉
Valentine Day is for celebrating LOVE of ALL types: celebrate your dearest, long-time friends, and the unconditional love your dog shows you. One doesnt have to be in a romantic relationship to celebrate LOVE
Love your channel , thank you for sharing, your content is concise & to the point will continue to watch , learn & share. By the way I have just started a UA-cam Channel at 54 & so looking forward to sharing my content , learning about myself , educating others etc . ❤
Welcome to the club and best of luck with your channel!
Hello Holly, good talk thank you. 💕NonnaGrace 🐓
I agree, but it's not always simple. All my life my sister treated me like I am not important, boring, but always telling me she needs me, she needs my support, we are sisters, we are super close etc. But never let me talk about me and my life. She always had to be a center of attention and main drama queen. I would have to listen to her for hours talking about same things, she is a victim, everyone asks her for help but then they are not thankful enough, her hsuband is horrible, she has no money, she has migraine, always the same over and over and ove for hours... When I tried to tell anything about my life, my pain, my problems, she cuts me off and continues about her. When I tried active listening, she likes it, it's all about her, she is a victim always, she needs help, support, everyone around her. I feel like no one in the family knows me, except my mom who passed away 3 years ago. It's always about my sister. Whenever we were together and I tried to have a real sisterhood, to talk to her about everything, she doesn't want to listen unless it's all about her. When we meet someone we know or I know, she ditches me to the side and has to be again in the center. If I try to tell her that's bothering me, she cries and tells me I am horrible to her and she is the vicitim, and everyone then hates me and tell me I should be supportive to my sister. Like I do not matter at all.
I tried with constructive advices for all her problems, migraine possible relief, meds, marriage councelor, whatever, we even tried to find her a job many times because she complains she has no money. She never appeared on any interview we arranged even when they really wanted to hire her, she refused every single advice I offered and she always had an excuse. Once after hours and hours of her complaining about same things I told her I can't anymore and I have things to do and she got pissed, angry and just broke phone conversation without a word. If anyone tells her nicely they are really not in the mood for negative talks she cuts that person off, and is hurt and thinks all the worst about them suddenly.. I feel like I can't really deal with her anymore. I still love her, but I want her ONCE freaking time in life not to be a victim, to find job, to try to be happy, to appreciate what she has and I can't listen to complains anymore and I can't be just someone who listens and doesn't matter as person. I did many favors for them and they just didn't even appreciate that. Like they went on Vacation "for10 days" and told me if I don't feed their cat, she will die (they didn't ask me they trehatened me). I love animals so I wend every single day and fed the poor cat, and they didn't leave me any food or coffee, I even had to buy cat food. I was so tired to travel every day, and then they said they will be "couple of weeks late" and I got so angry. Instead of appologizing to me or anything they got angry at me for daring to be upset and just acted like victims again. I couldn't let the poor cat die so I fed her for 2 more weeks. And it's always like that. I have to take care of my popr little sister even though she has husband and adult son and she is always a victim and I NEVER matter in family.
Sorry for long post, I am so tired.
It sounds like you are exhausted from all of this drama with your sister. But I encourage you to watch the video again and really listen to what I am saying, especially about not being able to change other people. Sometimes we have to make some tough decisions to protect our own happiness
@@BecomingMe64 Thank you, I get what you are trying to say. It's just sometimes it's really hard to distance yourself from your emotions and expectations, although that only hurts us. I will for sure listen to your videos multiple times.
Did you get a haircut? It looks nice.
I'm an introvert hermit. That's pretty much kept me away from certain annoying behavior, heh.
Have a good week.
Great video! Thanks...the things you spoke of are things I really needed to hear right now! I bought your E-book I plan to read it this week I look forward to it. I haven't started it yet because this week was just one of those weeks...my dog got bronchitis, he is ok now thank goodness and now my cat has an eye infection so now I have to take her in to the vet too! They are always so healthy but all the sudden they got sick. And we have a son on the autism spectrum and we had some challenges this week. Anyway, I'm hoping this week will be more calm than my last week!. lol. Take care! Thanks again for all your videos, I enjoy them! :)
Sounds like you've had a tough week! Glad everyone is ok, the book will be there when everything calms down and you can focus. Thank you so much for purchasing it!
Maybe it was the psychologist/sociologist I fell in love with. No worries, I'm in love with my wife. You and your Mother. Narcissist that she is. Here is a question I just discovered: "How do you know you've found the right man?"
Habitual Complainers, Political Baiting, rehearsing past stories for sympathy and not willing to stop blaming, wearing Christianity as a “badge”
Thank you Holly! Of course I’m watching..😎 that was very helpful information and I would love to have coffee in person with you but we live too far away from each other…😩
Glad it was helpful!
Thanks!
Thank you so much!