RECRUITERS IN 2020 BE LIKE...

Поділитися
Вставка
  • Опубліковано 14 січ 2025

КОМЕНТАРІ • 2,5 тис.

  • @doom4067
    @doom4067 5 років тому +8271

    They should officially rename infantry to population control.

    • @kurumauzamaki2731
      @kurumauzamaki2731 5 років тому +115

      What are bombs

    • @alex-cj9mb
      @alex-cj9mb 5 років тому +246

      @@kurumauzamaki2731 also population control

    • @snipehypes3030
      @snipehypes3030 5 років тому +105

      Dude I’m fucking dying over

    • @motoxguy7
      @motoxguy7 5 років тому +99

      All the male on male rapes in their barracks is, in a sense, population control....

    • @tymcclarty2619
      @tymcclarty2619 5 років тому +3

      Kuruma Uzamaki A weapon used by infantry

  • @Onhaey
    @Onhaey 5 років тому +3455

    “You’ll be ripped after basic training, we make sure your ripped” 😂

  • @Jarodjackson1998
    @Jarodjackson1998 5 років тому +6326

    Population Control Specialist🤣🤣I’m rollin

    • @KenHMladin
      @KenHMladin 5 років тому +109

      LMAO 11B Population control ROFLMAO ! I Fuckin Lied OMG LMAO !

    • @BennyLlama39
      @BennyLlama39 5 років тому +104

      I thought those were called Politicians. They seem to get a lot of our people killed for no f@*kin' reason. 😈

    • @johnd2058
      @johnd2058 5 років тому +198

      @@KenHMladin I remember at the Ft. Hamilton MEPS, kid from the central Bronx was like, "I signed up for Automated Logistics Specialist. Don't know what that is, but it sounds cool." He was kinda sad when I told him he was gonna drive forklifts.

    • @johnd2058
      @johnd2058 5 років тому +18

      @@BennyLlama39 "Another household survey, this one conducted by the Iraq Ministry of Health at the same time as the second Hopkins study, found 400,000 excess deaths, 151,000 by violence. As is the case with most such surveys conducted during time of war, there were problems in data gathering and the analysis tended to minimize violent death estimates. But the survey generally confirmed the very high mortality reported in The Lancet." SO VERY WIN web.mit.edu/humancostiraq/

    • @Tommy1977777
      @Tommy1977777 5 років тому +51

      "Yer gonna get $100,00.00" fuckin dead.

  • @flatbat13
    @flatbat13 5 років тому +3269

    Then when it comes to air Force recruiters, YOU gotta be the one lieing to get in lol

    • @bigalmou2261
      @bigalmou2261 5 років тому +278

      Ain't that the fucking truth.

    • @mass1985
      @mass1985 5 років тому +20

      @@bigalmou2261 no lying yet son

    • @deez26788
      @deez26788 5 років тому +224

      Yeah right... You gotta be a pretty dim star if you have to lie to an airforce recruiter. They literally have waivers for everything.... age, weight, mild autism you name it.

    • @sebastiangraham001
      @sebastiangraham001 5 років тому +54

      deez26788 that moment when I still had to get a waiver for a successful nose surgery...... lmao than there’s Air Force

    • @n9nedots
      @n9nedots 5 років тому +81

      @@deez26788 I think you're thinking Army, there bud. Air Force waivers are hard to get, unless you're going security forces. Those people are a different breed altogether

  • @theSANDMAN1052
    @theSANDMAN1052 5 років тому +3537

    Moral of the story: recruiters lie, the end.

    • @farout_trash4003
      @farout_trash4003 5 років тому +136

      Sam Fisher my recruiters were pretty real with me

    • @kitanomarumilitoni9293
      @kitanomarumilitoni9293 5 років тому +91

      Damn so y’all saying that my recruiters were bullshitting me about getting a lot of money?!😐

    • @Alan-wj5zc
      @Alan-wj5zc 5 років тому +73

      @@farout_trash4003 If your recruiters were being real you wouldn't have joined xd

    • @Kalin_Kessler
      @Kalin_Kessler 5 років тому +22

      Mine didn’t lie and I got a 10k bonus for 3 years

    • @tarasov9794
      @tarasov9794 5 років тому +21

      They don't, they just phrase things a bit differently.

  • @Blue-vd6bv
    @Blue-vd6bv 5 років тому +2735

    The guy behind him patting his back is funny af

  • @theeunknown2620
    @theeunknown2620 5 років тому +752

    You should of had Yusha Thomas in this skit. When Myrtle said " I lied." Yusha could have snatched him up and said " We got your ass now!" Then start laughing as he drags him away.

    • @Nate-gz9tg
      @Nate-gz9tg 5 років тому +103

      *Maniacal laughing*
      "But sarge…"
      *Maniacl laughter intensifies*

    • @Brian-vz5cu
      @Brian-vz5cu 5 років тому +40

      That would be FUCKING EPIC!!!!!

    • @Bloodschosen2457
      @Bloodschosen2457 4 роки тому +16

      I was thinking that the moment the camera swtiched to the recruiter he was suddenly Yusha Thomas saying, "We got yo ass now"

    • @uncharted7againblackking256
      @uncharted7againblackking256 4 роки тому +4

      FACTS

    • @almohvn33
      @almohvn33 Рік тому +2

      AGREE!!!!!!!

  • @xFlared
    @xFlared 5 років тому +531

    Russia isn't allowed to invade on weekends and federal holidays.

  • @tylerbrodsky9225
    @tylerbrodsky9225 5 років тому +728

    This is funny too me, I went into the army, when I was talking to the recruiter he seemed like a good guy and all gave me the run down and shit, I get to basic training first thing out of the drill sergeants mouth was "What ever your recruiter told you is a lie, you are all first and foremost infantry and we don't care what you think you are out property now"

    • @vernelljamison7167
      @vernelljamison7167 5 років тому +16

      We’ll see about that

    • @giovannabarrios33
      @giovannabarrios33 5 років тому +29

      I just made a meeting with a recruiter haha thanks for the heads up

    • @h3llboyyy407
      @h3llboyyy407 5 років тому +1

      @@giovannabarrios33 LMAOOOOO

    • @prettylittlepsycho-ev2ku
      @prettylittlepsycho-ev2ku 4 роки тому +5

      Yeah same thing here. Feels like a lifetime ago. I still miss it and would love to go back in ways. Idk though with my daughter and who she'd go with but I'm working on it.

    • @DylanBegazo
      @DylanBegazo 4 роки тому +5

      Has anyone gone through training only one up the drill sergeants by saying, “I only came to pass everything and still prove you couldn’t break me.” 😂

  • @brad6298
    @brad6298 5 років тому +744

    My best friend and I joined the Air Force together in 1966
    There was the 'Buddy' plan............we were supposed to go through Basic Training together
    Never saw each other till we got discharged four years later

    • @ryan_dont_know
      @ryan_dont_know 4 роки тому +54

      🤣🤣🤣that’s hilarious and so shitty

    • @dannysllrs
      @dannysllrs 4 роки тому +23

      Haha same here but we joined the Army! Then it was hes leaving a week before me, ok that's kinda off. Then hes like yea im shipping to Ft. Leonard Wood lol so I'm like oh yea I'm going to Ft. Benning. I mean I guess we were both going to basic at the same time, but I was going to the other side of the country. Well we could write letters so we can still talk to each other I guess too. So yea nothing at all like they said, I think they just told us about it but we weren't getting it, lol I mean hey I didnt really know a damn thing about military life but it all made sense a few months later!

    • @WeyardWiz
      @WeyardWiz 4 роки тому +1

      😂😂

    • @gsmith6171
      @gsmith6171 4 роки тому +2

      Lol i thought they has just got me and my buddy lol

    • @dannysllrs
      @dannysllrs 4 роки тому +3

      @@gsmith6171 I bet they got most of us with that one lol!

  • @SuperSpreeGaming
    @SuperSpreeGaming 5 років тому +1592

    My recruiter never lied he just let me believe what I thought I knew... Now that I’m re-enlisting with him again he lets me in on all the jokes they play on recruits.

    • @beachbum4943
      @beachbum4943 5 років тому +104

      What's the best jokes yall pull

    • @theosebes9975
      @theosebes9975 5 років тому +60

      Yeah, I’d love to know.

    • @eleminohpee907
      @eleminohpee907 5 років тому +371

      Im a recruiter. 1 thing we do is we make people we dont like wear a military shirt to basic training and that is a secret code to release the TI hounds at basic on them.

    • @Arbiter144k
      @Arbiter144k 5 років тому +43

      @@eleminohpee907 now i know as im applying

    • @jasonkonczak6016
      @jasonkonczak6016 5 років тому +142

      @@eleminohpee907 thats why my recruiter told me not to wear one to basic he said the same thing

  • @TheSaucysdead113
    @TheSaucysdead113 5 років тому +1627

    I’m a really sensitive guy, I mean I don’t mind killing people. Lmfao

  • @clonearmy77
    @clonearmy77 5 років тому +726

    🤣 Wake up at 9. Just mosey on into work. All the commanders and 1Sgts are ok with that. 🤣

  • @spentcasing3990
    @spentcasing3990 5 років тому +557

    When I joined the Canadian army the recruiter asked if I liked camping and fishing. I said yes, he told me he knew the perfect job for me. 7 years in the infantry later............

    • @kilo5659
      @kilo5659 4 роки тому +35

      7 years means something worked out, right?

    • @JohnDoe-jl3em
      @JohnDoe-jl3em 4 роки тому +2

      Nice! I'm getting told right now that I can just switch out of the infantry when I go in. While it may be true it is most likely not.

    • @spentcasing3990
      @spentcasing3990 4 роки тому +26

      @@JohnDoe-jl3em Yes and no. You can switch branches but it won't be overnight. I remember talking to a number of guys who just graduated and landed in battalion thinking they could transfer right away.
      Truth is it'll probably be at least a couple years before you can attempt it. And even then both your current trade (infantry) and the one you want to get into have to be open in and open out. Meaning that both units have the numbers to let people transfer out. And more often then not the infantry is open in closed out, meaning they'll take people in but not let them go.

    • @KasssadinxD
      @KasssadinxD 4 роки тому +1

      @@spentcasing3990 I'm going to join CAF after hs any tips to prepare before i go into basic training?

    • @spentcasing3990
      @spentcasing3990 4 роки тому +21

      @@KasssadinxD If you're not in decent shape start training. Cardio, push ups and pull ups are your friend because you'll be doing a good amount of them in basic.
      Also expect to be yelled at............a lot. Every instructor is different some are pretty quiet others very animated and loud. But don't take anything they say to heart. They want to see how you handle stress. Listen to what they say, if they call you a pile of shit because you're boots are dirty it's not because they want to make you feel bad. It's because you're boots are dirty.
      Also don't be the guy/girl who gives attitude it'll put a target on your back. Be a gray man, do what they tell you to do. And give 110% when they tell you do something.
      Also if you end up doing basic at St Jean Quebec don't spend all your money on the strippers.

  • @shanetyler3228
    @shanetyler3228 5 років тому +1669

    WW3: Starts
    Healthy 18 to 30 year olds: oh no
    Army Recruiters at my local mall: OH YES

    • @aliensinnoh1
      @aliensinnoh1 5 років тому +25

      Who needs recruiters when they can just force military aged males to join the military if they don't have enough soldiers.

    • @zakattack8624
      @zakattack8624 5 років тому +57

      When ever I walk by, they stare at me like hungry vultures just getting excited on the thought of cutting my long hair.

    • @sebastianalva6487
      @sebastianalva6487 5 років тому +2

      @@zakattack8624 😭🤣🤣🤣

    • @frankyalvarez7160
      @frankyalvarez7160 5 років тому +5

      Dang I better stop being jacked and smart then.....

    • @therussianbullfrog3975
      @therussianbullfrog3975 5 років тому +26

      @@frankyalvarez7160 time to start committing some felonies

  • @Bakkenwinterolympics97
    @Bakkenwinterolympics97 5 років тому +703

    "I learned both of your signatures."
    "Stop breathing on me, sign." 😂😂😂

  • @fubar3886
    @fubar3886 5 років тому +1002

    Send him to Space Force and make him an astronaught for the mission to build a base on venus

    • @BennyLlama39
      @BennyLlama39 5 років тому +5

      Dumb question-- is that a reference to the Dr. Creepen stories?

    • @fubar3886
      @fubar3886 5 років тому +3

      @@BennyLlama39 Hahaha no, but I'll check that out

    • @jallan1472
      @jallan1472 5 років тому +8

      Preferably Uranus

    • @Donjuanantoine
      @Donjuanantoine 5 років тому +5

      Ouch....Venus?????

    • @JSmedic1
      @JSmedic1 5 років тому +2

      +FUBAR38 ... Ahahahaha! Hooah. That's a good joke ... send him with a Battle Buddy.

  • @The97Moose
    @The97Moose 5 років тому +681

    0:20 seconds > discussing what the Army has, and then:
    "You're gonna be one fit guy."
    "--Dayum!"

  • @danielsmith-kp3ce
    @danielsmith-kp3ce 5 років тому +1541

    Why does this say recruiters in 2020 my recruiter used almost every one of those lines on me in 2009

    • @NA1L3D
      @NA1L3D 5 років тому +84

      1993... same thing. It's not just 2020. Only thing different was there were no, "Stress cards."

    • @342bullseye
      @342bullseye 5 років тому +67

      Military time out is what got me. The navy really tried to tell me "submarine life is actually really good they have it easy". You dont even have to know much about submarines to know how bad submarine life sucks.

    • @NA1L3D
      @NA1L3D 5 років тому +22

      @@342bullseye I imagine so. I'd hate to be on those ships. They are strategically vital though. So hats off to you for serving in that capacity.

    • @biglogie680
      @biglogie680 5 років тому +27

      My favorite was you're gonna get 100 thousand dollars yep cha ching

    • @342bullseye
      @342bullseye 5 років тому +19

      @@NA1L3D oh i didnt buy it lol. I'm going to fix airplanes and helicopters. Tho submariners do get extra submarine pay. That being said I doubt its substantial.

  • @AngelRodriguez-hj2og
    @AngelRodriguez-hj2og 5 років тому +597

    My favorite was, I’m looking for the Air Force Recruiter and the Army, Marine, and Navy guy said they moved. Asked me if I wanted coffee and a donut, next thing I know, I’m taking the Asvab and raising my right hand. Later I find out that the USAF and Coast Guard had moved to the second floor of the same building. They got me. 😂

    • @Methos_
      @Methos_ 5 років тому +163

      didn't pass the USAF IQ test

    • @Professionaldumbass6998
      @Professionaldumbass6998 5 років тому +6

      Meth_Busters sounds about right

    • @AngelRodriguez-hj2og
      @AngelRodriguez-hj2og 4 роки тому +22

      Infantryman, Airborne it was actually a 96, it was the common sense part I failed at

    • @suspicioususer
      @suspicioususer 4 роки тому +5

      in my town the army marines and Navy are next to each other while the air force and coast guard is across town

    • @captainwafflez3630
      @captainwafflez3630 4 роки тому +20

      "GOT YO ASS NOW!!!!!!"

  • @joshuaquattrone7804
    @joshuaquattrone7804 5 років тому +226

    That’s the thing, they tell you work starts at 9, but they hide the fact that your up at 5 to do PT at 6 in the morning

    • @mr.nobody68
      @mr.nobody68 5 років тому +14

      I used to roll out of bed at 6:10 and be in formation at 6:15 for 6:30 PT lol

    • @JSmedic1
      @JSmedic1 5 років тому +20

      +Joshua Quattrone +J P ... Both of y'all are already extra late for PT! It starts at 0500 ... 0445 accountability. M-F 3-5 MILE RUN and TTh muscle failure days.
      Yeah ... Go Army all day, Hooah!

    • @atrioxfulminare2945
      @atrioxfulminare2945 5 років тому +2

      @@mr.nobody68
      You can get ready in 5 min?!?! 😱
      My fat ass in basic kept hitting the 10 minute mark no matter what I did different. 😱

    • @HighDiver5555
      @HighDiver5555 5 років тому +1

      Jonas Pedersen it's definitely possible if you're unit is downstairs from your barracks and if you're one of those guys that shaves after PT

    • @xoxo-pp7ru
      @xoxo-pp7ru 5 років тому

      @@atrioxfulminare2945 that's why u quit 😎

  • @M138.
    @M138. 4 роки тому +261

    "There's a mos called 11B, it's population control specialist." XD

    • @dontneedtoknow5836
      @dontneedtoknow5836 4 роки тому +9

      Hahaha. Not funny in 2020 with a patent issued to Microsoft by the numbe of W02020060606

  • @johnford1575
    @johnford1575 5 років тому +631

    You know the recruiter wouldn't tell him that he lied until after he got to basic or later.

    • @danielr.7835
      @danielr.7835 5 років тому +39

      Unless the recruit figured it out, he probably wouldn’t hear from his recruiter ever again. Plus, after basic the recruiter would outrank the boot...

    • @markanderson4462
      @markanderson4462 5 років тому +24

      I'm still looking for mine. What a lieing pog. But hey I'm retired alot of tours. But still " you can sleep in as late as you want" LMFAO

    • @RaulReyes-dd3di
      @RaulReyes-dd3di 5 років тому +12

      That's why I joined the Guard. I actually chose the job I wanted and got it foe show😂💪🏽 12R = Super POG

    • @slavsupreme5129
      @slavsupreme5129 5 років тому +16

      Daniel R. Not sure about other branches, but as for the Marine Corps it is the responsibility of the recruiter to follow up after their recruits graduation from Paris Island

    • @xxBLOODEAGLExx
      @xxBLOODEAGLExx 5 років тому +5

      SlavSupreme I’m currently losing weight to enlist in the Army but Marines seem to be the only ones that do that. They are also the only ones that can take leave right out of boot and do RAP (I think they call it that not sure though)

  • @Sudamphetamine
    @Sudamphetamine 5 років тому +247

    “Yeah you can shoot any helicopters you want...just not the black ones, those are ours” lmaoooo

  • @Eric-ed1zl
    @Eric-ed1zl 4 роки тому +716

    If you show a stressed card to you drill he'll just know that he's doing his job right XD

  • @brucebane04
    @brucebane04 5 років тому +773

    "Population control specialists" I've done heard it all🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • @Jeremiah90526
      @Jeremiah90526 5 років тому +8

      Try and say it is not an accurate description of an 11B, I dare you. Making sure that the Male to Female population is skewed properly in order to make their polygamy practices viable. It is a public service when you think about it that way.

    • @Prometheus7272
      @Prometheus7272 5 років тому +7

      @@Jeremiah90526 :D WTF dude

    • @ChuckBeefOG
      @ChuckBeefOG 5 років тому +7

      The real title for that job is called Philanthropist, people like Bill Gates and their foundations that run around “vaccinating” the world, meanwhile its actual sterilization.

    • @tph5196
      @tph5196 5 років тому +5

      @@ChuckBeefOG Yeah we should just not have any vaccinations at all, filter out the weak

    • @ChuckBeefOG
      @ChuckBeefOG 5 років тому +3

      SonnY HamwI The only time i have ever been sick with anything beyond a cold is after a vaccine. I dont get them anymore. I havent had a flu since my last flu shot about 15 years ago.

  • @brianc4090
    @brianc4090 5 років тому +568

    the only stress card you get from the army is your DD214

    • @orlvndo
      @orlvndo 5 років тому

      Brian C what’s that?

    • @drnapalm7605
      @drnapalm7605 5 років тому +44

      stress card will be issued to you, just forgot to mention that it will come after theyve taken your soul after 4-6 years

    • @akasha.tushet9645
      @akasha.tushet9645 5 років тому +6

      🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I'm dead... I need my dd214 like, 4 years ago

    • @HeartBreakKid169
      @HeartBreakKid169 5 років тому +13

      @@orlvndo dd214 is the pass to go home.

    • @TripAMD
      @TripAMD 5 років тому +65

      @Amethyst Lacroix are YOU serious? Most people who are not in the military have no idea what it is.

  • @rideordie295
    @rideordie295 5 років тому +581

    Hello,
    I’m a dealership manager and I could use salesmen like yourself.

    • @FUNKER420
      @FUNKER420 5 років тому +30

      I have a 12 inch penis. Do I qualify?

    • @gaijinbot8135
      @gaijinbot8135 5 років тому +43

      @@FUNKER420 Sir we're going to have request you prove it to us. Go ahead and send us some pics next to a ruler.
      Thank you for your cooperation

    • @motoxguy7
      @motoxguy7 5 років тому +12

      Gaijin Bot you must be Infantry.

    • @FUNKER420
      @FUNKER420 5 років тому +6

      @@gaijinbot8135 I sadly do not own a cellular telephone I am also homeless hope that doesn't hinder my chances 🤞

    • @dalekmasterblaster585
      @dalekmasterblaster585 5 років тому +4

      @@FUNKER420 wait...
      If you don't have a phone, than who's account or device are you using?

  • @SuperSparrow45
    @SuperSparrow45 4 роки тому +156

    "You can wake up and kinda just mosey into work." - Yeah, what they don't tell you is that you then mosey into the 1SG's office and then mosey your ass into his foot.

  • @NASkeywest
    @NASkeywest 5 років тому +94

    My Navy recruiters: "Have any of you guys ever heard of NaVy SeALS?!?!?" How would you like to be one and get a $100,000 bonus upon completion of training?!

    • @nathangallegos9304
      @nathangallegos9304 3 роки тому

      There’s the wording
      UPON completion/ After graduating
      A lot of People get it twisted thinking they will still get it lol

  • @codyg2600
    @codyg2600 5 років тому +184

    “I like to be talked to... not at”😂😂😂😂 gold

  • @alexandsimba
    @alexandsimba 5 років тому +257

    "We even make up holidays you can take off. Ever heard of flag day?" 😂

    • @SolidState.Official
      @SolidState.Official 5 років тому +10

      Honestly I still forget it's a holiday

    • @chocolatefrenzieya
      @chocolatefrenzieya 5 років тому +9

      Patriotism!

    • @njdaveg2
      @njdaveg2 5 років тому +2

      I remember is school we had a day like that. That was like 13 years ago though

  • @hewittandre
    @hewittandre 4 роки тому +83

    The stress card shit was hilarious. Had a guy when I was basic who always threw a fit whenever we got smoked. My drill sergeant literally told this guy he needed to make a stress card. 😂😂😂

    • @sez1742
      @sez1742 4 роки тому

      My favorite was the buying a car out of training....I knew many a folks who did that. Ha!
      Thanks for your service!!!

  • @amart93
    @amart93 5 років тому +134

    Bruh why did I come across this channel when I was thinking about joining the military

    • @JaxRK1
      @JaxRK1 4 роки тому +8

      Amart I’m still joining Yeet yEeEt

    • @daltonspence6604
      @daltonspence6604 4 роки тому +3

      @BoomerLemon dude no shit same here. i just got swore in, and i been seeing "uniform dating" ads on snapchat

    • @edwardk12687
      @edwardk12687 4 роки тому +11

      Because......Google knows, Google sees and hears all, Google is skynet.

    • @High_Rate136
      @High_Rate136 4 роки тому

      Did you join?

    • @garcand
      @garcand 4 роки тому +1

      Research "filter bubbles"

  • @edgarfranco4147
    @edgarfranco4147 5 років тому +60

    “You’ll be ripped after basic training, we’ll make sure you’re ripped “ 😂😂 I’m done 😂

  • @tristanthomson6400
    @tristanthomson6400 5 років тому +44

    "Are either of the two of you homosexuals?"
    "No, but we are willing to learn"

  • @patjr.2844
    @patjr.2844 4 роки тому +40

    Those recruiters are your friends until you sign on that dotted line 😈

  • @NIGHTSTALKER0069
    @NIGHTSTALKER0069 4 роки тому +69

    My recruiter was the real deal. Everything he said happened. He had a no BS attitude about recruiting. I feel that the ones that get lied to turn against the system and become thorns in people sides. Meanwhile someone trying to reup gets bent over because some recruiter lied to a kid and he joined. In two years that kid will be in trouble.

  • @roserystorm4143
    @roserystorm4143 5 років тому +89

    ”The lates we wake up is 9am” had me dying 😂

  • @96213
    @96213 5 років тому +275

    “Population control specialist” 😂😂

    • @xoxo-pp7ru
      @xoxo-pp7ru 5 років тому +2

      I quit the army 😂

  • @zion8585
    @zion8585 5 років тому +265

    " I'm a real sensitive guy...no problem killing anyone"-😂-mood all 2020😂😂😂💀

  • @YZ-dp9oz
    @YZ-dp9oz 3 роки тому +57

    I was brushing my teeth in a janitor closet during basic, I glanced in the mirror off to the side and realized how good my body looked.

  • @johnnaughton2364
    @johnnaughton2364 5 років тому +33

    "Stress cards" what a great idea, just forwarded that to my congressperson.

  • @infadel885
    @infadel885 3 роки тому +57

    Ok that isn’t a believable ending. Recruiters wouldn’t have been honest and told anyone they lied. Lol

    • @Valdemar-Perez-III
      @Valdemar-Perez-III 2 роки тому +3

      Obviously not but that’s probably what they’re thinking in their heads.

    • @mrguiltyfool
      @mrguiltyfool Рік тому

      Once u signed that dotted line they got ur ass. Does not matter if they lied

  • @Awkward_conversations
    @Awkward_conversations 5 років тому +242

    I still remember the lies the big green weenie fed me, and here I am re-enlisting.

    • @tcm844
      @tcm844 5 років тому +26

      You love the way it hurts. An hate it at the same time. Lol

    • @SuperSpreeGaming
      @SuperSpreeGaming 5 років тому +1

      Alycia Jennings Literally me right now.. Just waiting for the damn doctors at MEPS to clear my injuries lmao..

    • @j.b.m4640
      @j.b.m4640 5 років тому +3

      You didn't have google???? 😱😂

    • @Awkward_conversations
      @Awkward_conversations 5 років тому +24

      Robert E Lee , I joined because my husband had enlisted he was about halfway through with ait and I called him like , so uh I’m on my way to meps... 6 years later I’m re-enlisting for another 4

    • @BeautiColors
      @BeautiColors 5 років тому +3

      Y. Y. Y. Y. Y. Y. Y. Y. Y. Yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

  • @GrowitRollitSmokeit
    @GrowitRollitSmokeit 5 років тому +39

    "Population Control Specialist, it's a different MOS known as 11Bravo." What's funny though, is I actually think this was used by a recruiter at one point.

  • @rogeliorodriguez7289
    @rogeliorodriguez7289 5 років тому +68

    "The black ones are ours." - that's what he said.

  • @jryde421
    @jryde421 5 років тому +86

    "Stop breathing on me, SIGN!"
    "John handcock..yeah its the president"💀💀💀💀🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣

  • @g3ar75
    @g3ar75 5 років тому +106

    Me: Mom, I'm in the army.
    Mother: Have you been drafted?
    Me: Yes, but actually no.

    • @sethhardy866
      @sethhardy866 4 роки тому +2

      Deployed is different from drafted cause least you know when you can come back versus the other you may never come back.

  • @jimmyfirecracker1831
    @jimmyfirecracker1831 5 років тому +18

    I saw my recruiter again 4 years after I enlisted and asked him why he didn't tell me about the shit I was about to go through back then? He just said, "You turned out aight."

  • @bensargent7017
    @bensargent7017 5 років тому +228

    “Your gonna get uhh hundred thousand dollars”

    • @Tarik360
      @Tarik360 5 років тому +19

      A hundred, thousand dollars.

    • @andrewabrams1535
      @andrewabrams1535 5 років тому +9

      All the money's lol

    • @onlinecomrade5737
      @onlinecomrade5737 5 років тому +3

      Tarik360 technically you wouldn’t put a comma after hundred. Wanna be grammar Nazi tryin to feel smart 🙄

    • @onlinecomrade5737
      @onlinecomrade5737 5 років тому +2

      Harry Harry what ever you say dumbledore

    • @Clancywiggum97
      @Clancywiggum97 5 років тому +5

      @@onlinecomrade5737 just admit you were wrong. Guys like you make me sick. Grow a spine and stand up for you mistakes too and dont try some weak comeback...ever again

  • @mythicalscrub356
    @mythicalscrub356 4 роки тому +23

    "Military time out" lmao it's called a smokin

  • @bobby19xx31
    @bobby19xx31 5 років тому +35

    "Stop breathing on me, sign"
    *I'm so sorry*

  • @JohnDoe-zl6ph
    @JohnDoe-zl6ph 5 років тому +19

    My recruiter was pretty straight forward with me, but I enlisted in the mid 80's the kids weren't so sensitive back then.

  • @laurancebell3015
    @laurancebell3015 5 років тому +29

    I remember telling my DS that I was a healthcare specialist. And when do my rotation start at the hospital. They told me when my ass get out the field!

  • @stephanokidd4498
    @stephanokidd4498 5 років тому +77

    Basic doesn’t issue stress cards just so you know lmao love the video.

    • @slothrunner3532
      @slothrunner3532 5 років тому +35

      They issue stfu give me 10 cards

    • @eigen6726
      @eigen6726 5 років тому +36

      I'm so glad you pointed that out, it's not like it was an obvious joke like the rest of the video.

    • @alexr7856
      @alexr7856 5 років тому +9

      r/militarywooosh

    • @dwatsonj
      @dwatsonj 5 років тому +4

      @@eigen6726 I always come across some old Vet who thinks stress cards are real lol

    • @РайанВанМон
      @РайанВанМон 5 років тому +2

      Idk man they gave me a green, yellow, and red cards for different levels if stress. You mustve had a bad recruiter

  • @DeadLkeMe
    @DeadLkeMe 5 років тому +99

    Everyone talking about how they're going to be drafted and such. Don't worry younglings, they'll be calling up all those inactive reserve guys first 😉

    • @freedatboi6442
      @freedatboi6442 5 років тому

      DeadLkeMe hey bro watch it 😆

    • @rythuum6907
      @rythuum6907 4 роки тому

      And I'll be happy I maybe reserves but at least I'm not coast guard

    • @m0bull
      @m0bull 4 роки тому +1

      Rythuum lol a reserve talking shit imagine that

    • @johnlafferty8881
      @johnlafferty8881 4 роки тому

      🙄 draft was abolished in 73.

    • @jamesgrant8454
      @jamesgrant8454 4 роки тому +8

      John Lafferty it was abolished but you have a mandatory thing all men have to sign up for called the selective service act and it’s to make sure that if we need more people in a time of war the draft can quickly be resumed

  • @jamesdarnley4366
    @jamesdarnley4366 4 роки тому +16

    "Military time out"😂😂😂 such bull shit sounds so beautiful

  • @unitednerd5560
    @unitednerd5560 5 років тому +17

    It’s amazing how people still buy most of the things recruiters tell them lol.

  • @DreadPirate94
    @DreadPirate94 5 років тому +265

    When they draft these fortnite kids for ww3
    Millennial: ok boomer
    Boomer: ok private
    Millennial: wait wha...

    • @ayo0331
      @ayo0331 5 років тому +36

      You mean Gen Z, millennials are close to their 30s or already served

    • @mementodespair9067
      @mementodespair9067 5 років тому +8

      @@ayo0331 Yes I was born in 2000 so the generation that has to be afraid of a Draft are Gen Z Now, we are getting old..... I turn 20 in April. Gen Z is like from 97 to 2010

    • @NotJustAnotherAverageJoe
      @NotJustAnotherAverageJoe 5 років тому +1

      @J K Anything can be waived.

    • @collinluck5384
      @collinluck5384 4 роки тому +5

      @J K It's not necessarily that the US military can't draft people who smoke weed, we don't WANT you.

    • @pmc614
      @pmc614 4 роки тому +1

      @mxt mxt Its legal in NK

  • @mlcwomusic
    @mlcwomusic 5 років тому +52

    "I'm a really sensitive guy, like I have no problem killing anyone" LMAO!

  • @KnightSmoke20
    @KnightSmoke20 5 років тому +43

    “Military time out...” LMAO

  • @drivenbeyondthelimits7191
    @drivenbeyondthelimits7191 5 років тому +24

    Dont forget the free Camaro LMAOOOOO

  • @Skopokes
    @Skopokes 4 роки тому +12

    If my recruiter kept patting my arm as much as he is, I wouldn’t have signed.

  • @KeepiTrill
    @KeepiTrill 5 років тому +120

    He said we'll issue you the weapon like the recruiter is a 92Y

    • @onlinecomrade5737
      @onlinecomrade5737 5 років тому +3

      Hot Sauce everyone loves the supply specialist tho.

    • @KeepiTrill
      @KeepiTrill 5 років тому

      Yea but recruiter ain't gonna be is his unit he gonna be at the office at home basically sending people to mep. 92yankee or not

  • @texasghoul7425
    @texasghoul7425 5 років тому +44

    "Population Control 11B, it's not infantry though."
    Hahahahahahahahaha! That shit got me cracking up.

    • @mass1985
      @mass1985 5 років тому

      they got tanks too there i think?

  • @calebbouchard9262
    @calebbouchard9262 5 років тому +17

    “I’m incredibly sensitive” jacked me up right away 😂 average recruit right there

  • @imcintyre01
    @imcintyre01 5 років тому +44

    “I’m not big on infantry, so can I join the Calvary? You guys still have that right?”

    • @tomcolletti6992
      @tomcolletti6992 5 років тому +1

      Tanks artillery anfibios assault

    • @joey-rn5sp
      @joey-rn5sp 4 роки тому

      I'm getting shipped off Real soon as a 19D calvary scout

    • @dontneedtoknow5836
      @dontneedtoknow5836 4 роки тому

      Cavalry omg. No. Do not make that mistake.

    • @thecrazeecow1682
      @thecrazeecow1682 4 роки тому +1

      If you want to ride stuff then Navy’s for you

  • @HazarockHazard
    @HazarockHazard 5 років тому +32

    “Wake up at 9 am and all the commanders r cool with it”😂😂😂 Recruiters r soo nice

    • @GFox-tp5hh
      @GFox-tp5hh 4 роки тому

      1sgts are totally cool with it also.

  • @Caleb_Doggett
    @Caleb_Doggett 5 років тому +5

    Watching this while I'm in the process of enlisting right now is hilarious.
    Its pretty damn accurate.

  • @TheLionsDenGamingChannel
    @TheLionsDenGamingChannel 5 років тому +19

    The amount of soldiers that showed up to my unit when I was in (former NCO here) without there bonus paperwork or the paperwork not filled out correctly and I have to break their hearts and tell them you don’t have a bonus. Pure soul crusher! And no you can’t get out either lol. Y’all are funny as hell bro!

    • @hardwirecars
      @hardwirecars 5 років тому +11

      that should be against the law offer someone 40k to sign on who the hell wont take that? not saying give the bonus im saying dont lie about it.

    • @ErikPT
      @ErikPT 5 років тому +2

      hardwire 40K? I heard $14K but damn must be a pilot or an engineer for the Air Force?

    • @TheLionsDenGamingChannel
      @TheLionsDenGamingChannel 5 років тому +5

      Unfortunately it’s not, recruiter may get in trouble if the recruit can prove it, but 9/10 they signed all their paperwork and didn’t read any of it. Faults on the recruit for not reading what he was signing. Army held up its deal on paperwork, but this is why we makes jokes about it like this video here. This video reminded me of that. I got a bonus for joining in 2001. 18,000. I got all my money because I made sure I had that shit in writing. When you get to your first duty station, you will receive half of it, unless otherwise stated. The remaining half will be split up over the remaining years of your contract. Also recruiters don’t write your contract. You do, when picking your job you will be in a room with an army person( not your recruiter) and they will go over everything with you and have you sign. If yo dumb ass don’t read it, then I know it sounds wrong, but that’s on you, and welcome to the Army. You got the big green weenie nice and early 😂😂😂

    • @hardwirecars
      @hardwirecars 5 років тому +2

      @@ErikPT its been a while but i swear thats what i heard they were offering during either afghanistan or after the fight in fallujah when we were needing new recruits for the front lines bad. it was probably some recruiter lying his ass off lol.

    • @TheLionsDenGamingChannel
      @TheLionsDenGamingChannel 5 років тому

      Erik P.T. Airforce don’t even give bonuses like that 😂😂😂

  • @Noble713
    @Noble713 5 років тому +6

    When he signed I expected YushaThomas to show up - "Gotchyo azz now!"
    "bu-but Sarge!"
    *noob gets dragged to Basic Training*

  • @nightninja6244
    @nightninja6244 5 років тому +48

    Shit would've been way funnier if the recruiter said his sign was Cancer instead of Taurus

  • @codyrhodes2473
    @codyrhodes2473 5 років тому +15

    "We make up holidays. You ever hear of Flag Day?" 🤣

  • @DiceDoo
    @DiceDoo 5 років тому +84

    When your under 18 so you can’t be drafted: *Laughs in soon to become soldier*

    • @johns5638
      @johns5638 5 років тому

      *soldier

    • @bushmaster6894
      @bushmaster6894 5 років тому +9

      John S Looks like we found ourself a future Population Control Specialist.

    • @DeadLkeMe
      @DeadLkeMe 5 років тому

      Oh don't worry, they'll be pulling all those guys out of inactive reserves first 😉
      (For the unfamiliar, the typical enlistment is 8 years (4 active/reserve, 4 inactive reserve which means that in case they need people when you're done with the 4 years, you'll be first pickings )

    • @God-w-
      @God-w- 5 років тому +3

      @@DeadLkeMe My brother is inactive right now and he got fat, lazy, and has asthma. Im pretty sure they would tell his ass to just go home.

    • @bushmaster6894
      @bushmaster6894 5 років тому +1

      phuck Nope. They’d bring him back, flag him, then chapter his ass out. No free passes just because you’re a fat body; best thing he can hope for is an Honorable discharge.

  • @SASHAHAG
    @SASHAHAG 5 років тому +25

    I laughed at the video but I do want to be on record and say none of my recruiters have lied to me about joining and I got more than what they promised. I was told join now and we will cloth you, feed you and pay you, all you need to do is wear the American flag on your shoulder and etch it in your heart. I have been in for 11 years now.

    • @hardwirecars
      @hardwirecars 5 років тому +5

      wearing the flag is a violation of federal law not sure about etching it in your heart sounds painful.

    • @itsn2o511
      @itsn2o511 5 років тому

      @@hardwirecars ok

    • @hardwirecars
      @hardwirecars 5 років тому

      @@itsn2o511 just a joke

    • @ElBandito
      @ElBandito 5 років тому

      And kill those whom our politicians have deemed unworthy to live.

  • @Jaketheaxman
    @Jaketheaxman 4 роки тому +22

    Replace the background with a used car dealership, and the recruiters with salesmen. Its literally the same thing.

  • @Crayonmuncher9060
    @Crayonmuncher9060 4 роки тому +10

    “You’ll be an 11 bravo it’s so you won’t be infantry or anything”

  • @raymondpumphrey1454
    @raymondpumphrey1454 4 роки тому +3

    I was told when I went to my recruiter if it wasn't in the paperwork I'm signing then it is not going to happen. I just want to say thank you to my recruiter for being honest up front.

  • @JohnnyRamRod
    @JohnnyRamRod 5 років тому +18

    Population control specialist... Its 11B. I'm crying

  • @EarthDragon.808
    @EarthDragon.808 5 років тому +57

    The Civilian looks Like Nintendo’s Luigi

  • @ajanimalcolm6416
    @ajanimalcolm6416 5 років тому +13

    Man i remember when someone asked the drill sgt if he could use a stress card. Funniest shit ive ever seen

  • @PTSD_Guts
    @PTSD_Guts 4 роки тому +1

    Imagine hearing CBRN mentioned to you in the back of a mall 8 years ago and thinking it sounds 'good'
    .
    .
    I fucking love my job and everything I do in this job, but i can't keep playing games with my units, i need somewhere I can apply myself

  • @losethealtitude7730
    @losethealtitude7730 4 роки тому +1

    That deployment patch at 0:22 😳 thats so badass I wish I could have deployed with that unit😂

  • @hirumbiffidum9145
    @hirumbiffidum9145 5 років тому +27

    Eric Von Mannstein used euphemisms like that in the real life stories that "Enemy at the Gate" was based on.

  • @illumina9489
    @illumina9489 5 років тому +24

    the guy with his hand on his shoulder looks like adam sandler

  • @laceyandrews7606
    @laceyandrews7606 5 років тому +35

    So you mean recruiters are staying the same as they were before 2020?

  • @mamneo2
    @mamneo2 4 роки тому +8

    "You are going to 11B, that is totally not Infantry, it's Population Control 😊"
    😂😂😂

  • @abc.5068
    @abc.5068 Рік тому +6

    When you sign up for food service operations and supply but get attached to a infantry unit, and get put on point...😎

  • @akimi2003
    @akimi2003 5 років тому +17

    Recruit: I need a safe space.
    Recruiter: No problem!
    Me: Pfffffffft!

  • @paulferri2867
    @paulferri2867 5 років тому +28

    "Population control specialist" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @JohnnyD-no4cz
    @JohnnyD-no4cz 4 роки тому +6

    Imagine being in the military or having to fight next to a guy that actually thinks he could make all those requests

  • @SmootherThanThou
    @SmootherThanThou 4 роки тому

    i love these videos cause its shows join the military is like throwing your life away. Great Video!

  • @JosephIsGoated
    @JosephIsGoated 5 років тому +6

    *”Stop breathing on me, you gotta sign.”* 🤣🤣

  • @jeffwalters8552
    @jeffwalters8552 5 років тому +59

    Can I get a stress card? I've heard of these magical things, do they come with a unicorn?

    • @tcm844
      @tcm844 5 років тому +9

      Yeah it also comes with a lifetime of lube. Lol

    • @PapaManiac
      @PapaManiac 5 років тому +13

      Stress cards aren’t real right? Because that would be pretty fucking pitiful if they were.
      “Hang on taliban, you’re stressing me out a little bit can you stop shooting at me and cutting my friends heads off?”
      Them: “oh absolutely I’m so sorry. I’ll send you to heaven so you can be in your happy safe place”
      “Thanks guys.. wait a second”
      Bang

    • @justordinaryeverydaylife7977
      @justordinaryeverydaylife7977 5 років тому +1

      Benjamin Humphries
      They are real! The say “Be All You Can Be!” they are magnets that do not stick anymore. Every time you are out of beer and slam the fridge the magnet the recruiter gave you falls on the floor. It always lands on “Heads” reminds you that six pack needs to be purchased! and when you bend down to pick it up your back hurts! Also reminds you to “Be All You Can Be!” But than you try to stick the magnet back on for another 20 years as if “An Army of One!” or “Army Strong!” magnets do not exist!!! They are stress cards too... Wait and see🍺🍺🍺

    • @jeffwalters8552
      @jeffwalters8552 5 років тому

      @@tcm844
      Not bad, in 1992 they just told you to "shit around it". Sounds like things have improved slightly.

    • @meowmeowone8479
      @meowmeowone8479 5 років тому

      Only if you vote Vermin Supreme 2020.

  • @eloyrodriguez6722
    @eloyrodriguez6722 5 років тому +31

    Omg, shouldnt have watched this at work...Im die laughing and all my co workers looking at me crazy..Fyck em this shit funny🤣🤣🤣

  • @terencelewis956
    @terencelewis956 5 років тому +9

    Lmao I feel like my recruiter said this 4:25 to himself after shipping me off to basic. It’s a cold world in Security Forces...

    • @Axelreturns-so2ez
      @Axelreturns-so2ez 5 років тому +1

      Terence Lewis why don’t you like it ?

    • @terencelewis956
      @terencelewis956 5 років тому +1

      Austin Stacy SF is not a bad career field. It Just depends on the person. If you don’t mind being in the elements and carrying a m4 and m9 everyday you’ll be fine. To include shift work of 14-15 hrs. You’ll mainly work the main gate when you first come in. I retrained so now I’m Education and Training. Would you rather carry guns or sit behind a desk? It depends on you.

    • @Axelreturns-so2ez
      @Axelreturns-so2ez 5 років тому +1

      Terence Lewis I appreciate the reply back. I am enlisting already took my asvab qualified for Security Forces, and I was trying to do some more research on the job itself, but that’s good man! Education is a good field but not my cup of tea honestly.

    • @terencelewis956
      @terencelewis956 5 років тому +1

      Austin Stacy Yes. You have to do what fits you best.

    • @Axelreturns-so2ez
      @Axelreturns-so2ez 5 років тому

      Terence Lewis I went through Meps I qualified and got my list of jobs listed ! What base are you stationed at sir.

  • @Crazycobra-uc6ix
    @Crazycobra-uc6ix 4 роки тому +7

    I never really got any bs at the recruiting station, they actually told me everything that would happen and it happen just as they said... til I was introduced to sharp..

  • @rollingsteady3107
    @rollingsteady3107 4 роки тому

    Talk to not at? LOL I had a few of those. They were given a choice negative counseling or my ranting! They learned to stay out of trouble!

  • @DioDiablo702
    @DioDiablo702 5 років тому +14

    I haven't seen Flag Day as a holiday on the calander in years

    • @marcus2249
      @marcus2249 5 років тому

      wtf is flag day? (Civi here)

    • @evice
      @evice 5 років тому +1

      @@marcus2249 Exactly.

    • @marcus2249
      @marcus2249 5 років тому

      @@evice Sounds like "mandatory fun day" (heard service members make jokes about it)