Alhumdulillah, I pray that none of us as Muslim women “think” we are too good or above polygyny . The Mothers of the believers practiced polygyny! Are we better then our Mother Aisha (rahdiallahu anha) .... no . For sure it is a test for the wives , but it’s a test for the husbands as well . We often forget that . We are aids for one another on this journey to receive our Lords mercy and to one day see and experience his Jannah , In Sha Allah. Remember sisters, polygyny is not to break you ! Your Lord wants to uplift you . Have Great thoughts of the one who created you . Alhumdulillah.
Oh come on really?? It's just excuses for men to behave like crap? Don't quote the historical context of polygamy. I don't need to give you a history lesson! Men You don't support, ask permission or follow the Deen perfectly to allow polygamy to flourish. Seriously you are giving men an free pass.
@@haleemahsaida9772 I agree with you 100% but remember our Sister the first wife didn't have a choice all she has 2 choices either leave or stay and face the Music I left it happened to me and I choose leaving but He finally left her for another woman so he is still keep broken homes he is never happy with 1 woman and now he is over 55 when He will settle
Sis, you have earned the place you are in your life. Your Strength, Your Knowledge & Your Experiences and Morals You have consciously worked for. Beautiful Sis
The beauty of polygyny can only be felt when we stop worshipping the ego. The peaceful feeling that comes from God’s love is priceless. Polygyny is a great blessing from God if we are serious about God’s love. It may not be for everyone but thats just my experience...Thank u for the sharing sister...
Ma shaa Allahu Tabarakala Alhamdulilah Jazak Allahu Khiaran for the education. I am learning a lot from you in preparation for any eventuality in my marriage as a Muslim woman with a Muslim husband.
Coach Fatimah you embody wisdom, strength, love and courage. I love your way of sharing this message...your journey. Polygyny isn't for everyone, but your representation is by far the realist I've seen. Bless you and your family!!
I have so much respect for you. I'm not Muslim but as a woman, I admire you for taking your vows seriously, respecting your faith, trusting your husband with this new season of your life.
You are amazing Sister Fatimah. You are a blessing. You have spoken your truth with such clarity! Continue to shed light on this most important subject. So many family and societal problems could be solved if the idea of polygyny is understood and practiced properly. This idea requires real men, mature men, responsible men, confident men, secure men! May the Almighty continue to bless you, your family as you devote you life to bring enlightenment in these challenging times!
Coach Fatimah. Your words, for expressing "Your Truth" in the way you expressed it, truly moved me. You are to be admired and honored for it. I greatly appreciate your words of passion and strength. Altho I was never raised to accept or understand polygyny, it helped narrow down the passion in me for life, with everything you shared. So may you continue to express yourself with so much loving kindness, and may Allah continue to bless you always. Much Love to you.
Thank you for the clarity and the message. This is very encouraging and a video that I predict that I will watch many times in the future to uplift myself & remain steadfast. I apologize if my comment in part one was found to be offensive - that truly was not my intent. I am genuinely trying to learn and "unlearn". Much respect.
Ma Shaa Allah. The Ummah is in real need of men like our brother and women like yourselves. There are thousands and thousands of sisters who can't find husband and there are also many women who are sooo sickly jealous who will never allow their men to help other sisters in need of husband.
Salaam , sis Fatima , I'm a 70yr old revert , but truely I d have have learned a lot from you , you so strong , courageous , beautiful , and the best about you is your conviction in Almighty Allah , that's what make you who you are , I love you for the pleasure of Allah
I appreciate you and this channel so very much. I wish I had access to it years ago (before UA-cam) when this became a reality for me, but I'm thankful to the Creator for another chance to do it correctly.
@@user-pk2mk3rh8i why would it be lack of self respect is that because what you was taught by European law. I'm not European thats not my customs. They where forced on me to accept as the norm. This is why people like you deam it as disrespect. If Yah the creator wants it to happen it will happen regardless of wither I want it or not. I want Yahs plan for me not my own.
I just have one question? How does polygyny benefit you? What part of your husband having another wife and children with her is satisfying for you? We know what is permissible. We know the husband gets another wife, and a woman gets to marry a man. But what are the benefits to the existing wife when her husband decides to practice polygyny?
There are actually several. I'll list a major one. I am pretty driven and raising 7 children isn't the easiest so some personal interests had to wait till they were older. Polygyny allows me to focus on my personal growth without having to take care of Coach Nazir daily. I can focus on my art, other businesses, going out with sisters or my children so basically it has allowed me more time without having to worry about his needs necessarily. Far too many wives and mothers feel burnt out because they are unable to practice self-love, relaxing, or pursue other things that make them happy. So that's one major things that polygyny has allowed for me.
Though I'm not offended, I do find this amusing. I too come from a family of monogamists, however it'd be wrong and presumptuous of me to think that means that your family's marriages were all rainbows and roses. My family's marriages had cheating, lying, deceit and most failed like most monogamous marriages, most of them failed. Keep in mind that I am not practicing polygyny, our husband is. I answered the question of the questioner above. Furthermore, you comments are a bit crass and full of assumptions. Our husband does chores and is with our children daily, far more than most husbands, he even wrote a book on proactive parenting and conducts workshops. True marriage is between equals, however men and women are not the same nor have the same responsibilities necessarily. I am not a man with a vagina nor is our husband a woman with a penis, we have different needs, desires, wants, and expectations. So feel free to do what you think works for you and if you want more info on how monogamy became the norm in the Western world, feel free to check out Harvard Professor Dr. Nancy Cott's book 'Public Vows'. It's intriguing and I'm assuming you'd be very surprised. Just keep in mind that because someone practices monogamy doesn't mean that they person they married is the only person in their life.
Thank u for ur beautiful content. I have just opened up about my polygyny status on my channel and every question that seems to come my way is the same as urs sister. I know exactly why I stayed in my marriage and I see the bigger picture but there are so many critics that trying to point fingers at my husband as the bad guy. I hope Inshaallah people will see the bigger picture when it comes to polygyny
Thank you for your kind words and it's refreshing to hear you opened up about it. People should see how it works well more often and we're honored you enjoy our content!
Your choice of words are powerful, I like your strength my sister. May Allah bless your home, I have a sister’s wife also 😊🙏🏾🙏🏾you just gain a new subscriber
This is exactly what I needed to hear, barak allahu feeki ❤ looking forward to hearing more about your point of view as the first wife, the good, the bad and how to deal with it
Alhamdulillah, a helpful perspective. I am considering talaq, but my Islamic marriage counselor insisted I look into polygyny instead as a solution. And your experiences have helped in swaying my views, as I am reluctant to take the additional responsibility of another household. Now my next step is to sit with my Mufti and get specific details on how to justly manage 2 households according to shariah, and make a decision, finally, Insha Allah. I'm only considering this alternative since my wife doesn't want me to give talaq, and she's a practicing Muslimah, so I feel I owe it to her to consider alternatives, even if she may not like "sharing". 😅 Barakallah for your insights and may Allah bless your families in this life and the next with the best. Ameen
Wow this is powerful sister Fatima! MashAllah. Allahumma barik to your clear mind. Allahumma barik. I am addicted to your videos. I discovered your channel in early ramadan or just few days before the start of ramadan, and in less than 4 weeks i have watched many of your videos. You guys should have more subscribers and viewers. But in Islam what matters is not the number bit the quality of who watches you, those who truly want to underatnd poligyny will always appreciate your hard work. I think people are not confortable to admit they want to hear this. Also i am so amazed by your strenght as a woman because it is true that when you dont know polygyny and how it works it must have been scary time for you when you found out yoir husband married again. What you dont know you dont know. Once you started looking into the eye of this new thing i must admit MashAllah that you took the pull by the horn🎖🏆. Sister you are educating us. I am not in poligamy etc but i am learning this teaching of Islam that for me had been for so many years something I will not accept for ME. I felt like what you said in another video you did with sister Nyla, that you felt polygyny was for others, as at the back of your head you used to think, i cant handle it for my life. Also sister how can one sign to your coaching sessions. I live in europe. Thank you.
Your perspective is truly unique and enlightening. Marriage isn't about any of us or any religion, but the Will of the most High and the revelation of his Messiah bringing fourth His Kingdom. Self identified Israelite women must learn to practice polygeny in righteousness as well because this single baby momma epidemic is shameful. Your spirit has been settled and there's a higher level of wisdom that is evident. All praises to TMH in HaMaShiac.
Assalamu Alaiki wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatahu Alhamdulilah! This has been the most helpful video for me! I just literally binged watch all you all videos. May Allah reward you my dear sister and your marriage. Ameen 🤲🏾. I am a year in polygyny and I have my struggles and jealousies. This video slap me and said wake up‼️ It allowed me to look at the big picture. Everyone in the marriage is going to experience something; some change and emotions. The beauty is that you all take that and bring it together and make it work! 💪🏾You are a jewel! May Allah continue to bless and protect you all union. Ameen 🤲🏾 Have a wonderful blessed day! Insha Allah 💐
Loving you day by day because of Allah. Your videos are helping me go through this hard time of acceptance of polygamy. As a first wife, you have given me a reason to stay having solid reasons to not worry because I know my payment with Allah in shaa Allah. My Allah bless you sister Fatimah
Oh my god. I'm so happy to find your videos. I am a Muslim woman who is planning on becoming a second wife to a man, I have loved since I came to understand what love is. Due to pride, jealousy and ego, I always told myself I would never become a "second wife" but now that I'm mature and have come to realize that I love this man very much, I want to be with him. He loves me to and has always since we were young, but he had to obey his father and got married. I was heartbroken when he told he was getting married, I didnt even go to his wedding despite being friends. Overtime, my pride got the best of me, and I started dating just to show him that I didnt need him. The more I dated however the more insecure I got, because I only dated other guys for attention but he has always supported me. He ended becoming a confidant, because we were still in love with each other but we didn't know where to go from there. He told his wife that he loved me, and that I would always in his life before they got married. Overtime, I learned that despite being madly in love with me as I am with him, he respects and loves his first wife alot. He adores her and his kids. It wasnt until this year, he asked me what I thought about being a second wife? And asked me to marry him, I said yes because he has showed me that he will love and treat us both with respect. I know I would be happy with him because he brings the best in me. But I am really scared my parents would never accept, and I dont to ruin the image they have of him because of me, what should I do?
SubhanaAllah!!!!!! Your speaking the truth everything your saying Sis, I no that’s right Sis, if they don’t like keep it moving or don’t stay on this video well said, Al Hamdulillah for you all Allahu Akbar 🤲🏾🤲🏾
People will criticize any and everything good or bad. When I learned to value my thoughts and ideas vs letting others try to shape them, I enjoyed my own sanity and inner peace.
As salamualakum waratulahi wabarakatuhu sis fat Imah Alhamdulilah everything was beautiful said very guine we need more of that I’ve been in polygamy for 15 yrs I’m learning a lot from your talks jazakAllah khair May Allah bless you and Nyla and husband and children . Keep doing what you all are doing it’s needed .shukran for talking about the hard things that many of us don’t talk about I’m glad I found this family and pray to Allah I will continue to. Follow you all. May Allah bless you all🥰
SUBHAAN ALLAH Yes, Yes, Yes This is that power and more. You have no idea, but your validation on so many levels in my life means a lot. Because it’s not just a validation on polygyny, but on other points, ALHAMDULILLAH. JAZAKALLAHU KHAYRAN this was needed in my court. ALHAMDULILLAH SUBHAAN ALLAH SHUKRAN HABIBAH🌹🕊♥️☪️
Thank you ...i dream of the man I have as a young girl but I didnt know he would come so soon. Hes a good man,we been through so much lol...my bestfriend ...i want to give him kids first dang man ...ive been a loner until him...its alot of responsibility on my end and when I say "EVALUATION"..i just want to be understood and to be understood I must first be understanding....
I am not Muslim. I am Hebrew Israelite and we practice poligyny. I want to correct you when you say that sharing your husband with other family members is the same as sharing him with a wife. It IS NOT the same. Your husband is not entering into those other family members. He is not laying down with those other family members the way he lays with a wife. He is not kissing and caressing other family members the way he does with his wife or wives. To compare them and say they are the same is to take away from the intimate relationship that only husband and wives share. That relationship is the 1st relationship The Most High created. It is a special relationship that is not comparable to any other family relationship you may have. This is what makes it difficult for 1st wives to accept a 2nd, and 3rd or even a 4th wife. We must accept that marriage is a special relationship that is valued by The Most High! To belittle it by saying we share our husband with other family members is to belittle the wife's or wive's role or position in the family, her emotions and feelings. Our feelings should be validated. It's a difficult transition but yet The Most High allows it. That being said, your video is awesome because we all need support in this walk. I have been in poligyny for 5 years and I still struggle sometimes. My husband did not do it right either but through The Most High I have been given the strength needed to accept this major change in my life.
Thank you for you comment and Salaam/Shalom/Shalawam. Perhaps you misunderstood what I meant regarding sharing him. I specifically mentioned sharing him with regard to time because that is what is shared with others. It should be without question that he doesn't share such intimate things with other than his wife or wives when practicing polygyny.
This is so helpful I’m approached by a married man Actually I’ve been struggling for 20 years, Single struggled for people who aren’t in my life..Pakistani society is struggling with this matter.
Assalamu Alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatoh. MashaAllah, your husband sounds just like my husband. Same habits, same ibadah. That's good enough for me.
Oh okay, that's good to know. But you may also want to know that polygamy will still be practiced and doesn't care who chooses to voice their opinion about it just like the weather, it doesn't care what humans think either. ✌🏽
Quick question y'all! Can you please relate to us the BENEFITS of being a sista wife or wife's?? I think it's a VERY beautiful thing, as long as you EVERYBODY'S happy. Do you! I RESPECT ALL of you!👊🏾And IGNORE the haters. They miserable either way more than likely, 💪🏾💖✌🏾
My husband wants a second wife and he is asking me for it. He is a good Muslim but he is addicted to the sin of not lowering his gaze which is why I feel he wants a second wife. Apart from that he treats me fairly and I know that if he gets married it will help him more with lowering his gaze and also I know he will treat me and his second wife fairly because he is a fair person. But the problem is, I. Will feel hurt and jealous and I can't bear it. I just can't. What should I do? Will I be sinful is I disallow him because he will listen to me if I say no even if he wants it.
We clearly don't know his personal situation and if what you say is true, lowering the gaze is an iman issue. You don't have any authority or say in if he does or doesn't other than him allowing you to. It's not sinful for you either way as Islam doesn't give you the authority sis.
I'm scared of marriage bc of it hurts so much my man be in another womans arms like it hurts my everything my stomach my heart is rn i feel is gonna come out i cry a lot bc of this but what we do allah is the best my allah please make it easy for me
As salaam alakimu wa rahmatuallah wa barakatuh ukhti I love that quote Allah will bring you through it . Inshallah do you every have a day when it did break your heart to feel that he could love another women the way he love you?"
Wa alaykum as salaam sis! I think of love as something that is a VERY intimate experience. I love all my children at the same time but in different ways. Just as I believe that men love their wives at the same time but in different ways. We each have our own experiences of how we 'love' one another. AlHamdulliah. To answer your question, of course I've had those days but Allah is "AL-HAKEEM." I trust in Allah and his decisions for my life. :) I ask ALLAH for the things that will stretch me and make me become the best version of "Fatimah" that I can become. Great question! May Allah guide us all Ameen. Hope this helps! - Coach Fatimah
Bless you for allowing us to see the strength in your heart and your conviction in your beliefs. You shine in the eyes of Allah compared to the typical western woman. Thank you.
ManshaAllah my sister in Islam I love you for seek of Allah but you EEMAN and sometimes men change when they get married to another woman but some husband still never changes and they still love you and like you said Allah swt check all of us and if he becomes unfair to the first wife but still your American strong woman and I agree with you to keep Islam and the Suna of our beloved Mohamed scw my country is all Muslim and I know your not acting and my Muslim Sisters usually don't care about what the husbands do we care what Allah SWT wants us to do your my hero
Assalamu alaykum warahmtullah!!! my dear sister. Im a new sub. You out me a pin in my heart ♥️ first able RAMADHAN Mubarak!!🙏💝 to you and your whole family’s may Allah SWT. mercy and forgiveness be upon you&your household. Ameeen!! ma shaa Allah. I’m speechless 😶 right now like completely out of words. May Allah Increase you in higher imaan and mercy from his blessings in this duniya&ahkira.. firstly I’m soo happy I found you subhan’Allah.#1 my husband just took a sec. wife too in another country I’m jst. 7mons pregnant 🤰 at the same time can you imagine what I’m going thru.??!! He told me abt. It long ago too. He always told me abt it.But This one happened in a really irritating quickly harder way.2 I felt hurt cuz I’m pregnant 🤰. 3 I’m far away I don’t what to think of him. 4 it down rated my heart really badly too. So plzz!! Can you giv me tips what to do? how to act? what to ask him when comes home? how to act with him without the faking and lying to each other’s? I know I won’t have the same feelings with him when he come home??! I kno it’ll take time to look at him like before!? know things will be completely diff. But he stil will be mines.?? So plzz help a dear sist. I’m so in need of yur help. I’ll go crazy to remain silent while my hurt and feel like I’m stomped down in my heart..plzz plzz plzz,!
wa alaykum as salaam wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuhu dear sister, May Allah cause your baby to be born healthy and be a warmth to your heart and a coolness to your eyes, ameen. Congratulations! I can imagine how you feel but keep in mind that Allah will never burden you with that you are unable to bear. There is no quick fix and I read a lot of assumptions in your message. We have courses that go deeper on the subject and maybe you can benefit from our Successful Marriage Challenge which does have a 60 pg workbook and was facilitated by my co-wife and I. Feel free to email us though because that is a better platform for us to answer the question and point to some resources in sha Allah. jazakAllahu khayr ukhti
I feel like people think u didnt have the right to choose. In islam as a woman u have the right to divorce and your ex husband still has to provide for u and the kids. U can divorce even if u are not satisfide intimatly. For any reason at all.
We're not matchmakers nor know of any platforms that are reputable who help. We'd suggest becoming more attractive like Coach Nazir teaches, doesn't mean simply physically attractive, but much more than that so she may find you. He recently released a free 3 video series at oprkingsandkingdoms.com that may benefit you.
Wa alaykum as salaam sis! Yes, she knew full well that he was married. She actually has a video about "Why I married a married man" here on YT! If you're interested feel free to check it out! She goes more into her story and why she made the choice to proceed with polygyny. Trust was built over time but at the end of the day I gave MYSELF permission to trust again. In our Relationship Mastery Inner Circle we train and go deeper into best marriage/polygyny practices! Visit: Outstandingpersonalrelationships.com/rm Hope you find this response beneficial. May Allah guide our hearts and decisions Ameen
We knew each other prior to polygyny and even before he married again, I thought to myself that she'd benefit from polygyny. But there was no way I was going to suggest it to my husband 😄. But QadrAllah always prevails alhamdulillah.
What do you mean by "so what happens"? That would be between him and any potential wife or wives. We've already spoken about that type of scenario because we practice what we preach. His preferences are known but they don't include anyone in their 20s because we have children in that range. But who knows, that could change but we doubt it.
Being that a man can have up to 4 wives i was just wondering if he could just choose a young wife a and forbid her from becoming a child bearing woman. Asking because i know how things can become for child bearing woman as we age
Coitus interruptus also known as the 'withdrawal method' of birth control where a husband withdrawals before climax is allowed only if the wife agrees according to the 4 main schools of thought in Islam. One of the main reasons for marriage is procreation which is a right for both spouses. It's even good cause for divorce is a spouse wasn't aware that the other could not have children. Should a couple agree on birth control that's their choice. However if a husband doesn't want more children while a wife does, it's best he marry someone who is unable to bear children than attempt to oppress a woman who desires children.
Alhumdulillah, I pray that none of us as Muslim women “think” we are too good or above polygyny . The Mothers of the believers practiced polygyny! Are we better then our Mother Aisha (rahdiallahu anha) .... no . For sure it is a test for the wives , but it’s a test for the husbands as well . We often forget that . We are aids for one another on this journey to receive our Lords mercy and to one day see and experience his Jannah , In Sha Allah. Remember sisters, polygyny is not to break you ! Your Lord wants to uplift you . Have Great thoughts of the one who created you . Alhumdulillah.
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Yes you are right👍
Oh come on really?? It's just excuses for men to behave like crap? Don't quote the historical context of polygamy. I don't need to give you a history lesson! Men
You don't support, ask permission or follow the Deen perfectly to allow polygamy to flourish.
Seriously you are giving men an free pass.
@@haleemahsaida9772
I agree with you 100% but remember our Sister the first wife didn't have a choice all she has 2 choices either leave or stay and face the Music I left it happened to me and I choose leaving but He finally left her for another woman so he is still keep broken homes he is never happy with 1 woman and now he is over 55 when He will settle
Sis, you have earned the place you are in your life. Your Strength, Your Knowledge & Your Experiences and Morals You have consciously worked for. Beautiful Sis
The beauty of polygyny can only be felt when we stop worshipping the ego. The peaceful feeling that comes from God’s love is priceless. Polygyny is a great blessing from God if we are serious about God’s love. It may not be for everyone but thats just my experience...Thank u for the sharing sister...
True!
True .....one needs to be strong....and sometimes man isn't enough of a man to do this in a just way ....
As salamualakum waratulahi love your reply sis
Ma shaa Allahu Tabarakala Alhamdulilah Jazak Allahu Khiaran for the education. I am learning a lot from you in preparation for any eventuality in my marriage as a Muslim woman with a Muslim husband.
Coach Fatimah you embody wisdom, strength, love and courage. I love your way of sharing this message...your journey. Polygyny isn't for everyone, but your representation is by far the realist I've seen. Bless you and your family!!
I hear her strength but I still sense her pain.
Yass! This video is wonderful! You are awesome Fatima! And so is your family. This was REAL!
I have so much respect for you. I'm not Muslim but as a woman, I admire you for taking your vows seriously, respecting your faith, trusting your husband with this new season of your life.
Thank you, it means so much.
You are amazing Sister Fatimah. You are a blessing. You have spoken your truth with such clarity! Continue to shed light on this most important subject. So many family and societal problems could be solved if the idea of polygyny is understood and practiced properly. This idea requires real men, mature men, responsible men, confident men, secure men! May the Almighty continue to bless you, your family as you devote you life to bring enlightenment in these challenging times!
Thank you ❤ This journey is challenging, but these videos keep me uplifted and girdle me with more strength. All praises 🙏🏽
I'm watching this with tears in my eyes and i see myself in you. Thank you for sharing, many blessings to you and your family 🧡
Aww, such sweet words. Thank you sis and those tears are just a welcome heart mixed with wisdom.
Coach Fatimah. Your words, for expressing "Your Truth" in the way you expressed it, truly moved me. You are to be admired and honored for it. I greatly appreciate your words of passion and strength. Altho I was never raised to accept or understand polygyny, it helped narrow down the passion in me for life, with everything you shared. So may you continue to express yourself with so much loving kindness, and may Allah continue to bless you always. Much Love to you.
I love how you said this sister. That’s real!
Thank you for the clarity and the message. This is very encouraging and a video that I predict that I will watch many times in the future to uplift myself & remain steadfast. I apologize if my comment in part one was found to be offensive - that truly was not my intent. I am genuinely trying to learn and "unlearn". Much respect.
This genuinely made me tear up 🥹 thank you Fatima ❤
What an incredible woman you are!
When you said Allah checks him, that hit me.
Ma Shaa Allah. The Ummah is in real need of men like our brother and women like yourselves. There are thousands and thousands of sisters who can't find husband and there are also many women who are sooo sickly jealous who will never allow their men to help other sisters in need of husband.
Salaam , sis Fatima , I'm a 70yr old revert , but truely I d have have learned a lot from you , you so strong , courageous , beautiful , and the best about you is your conviction in Almighty Allah , that's what make you who you are , I love you for the pleasure of Allah
Being an amazing POSITIVE EXAMPLE for our daughters... Being their helpers in this journey of Polygany❤
❤️❤️
I had the same views you had before, but I love this video and will strive to be a strong women like you. Thank you so much.
I appreciate you and this channel so very much. I wish I had access to it years ago (before UA-cam) when this became a reality for me, but I'm thankful to the Creator for another chance to do it correctly.
I wanna be just like you.. Mashallah I am just astonished by your words. Every wife should be like you.. Taking notes. Love your videos!
I pray that I can be this one day. When my husband took another wife the transition has been hard since then.
@@user-pk2mk3rh8i why would it be lack of self respect is that because what you was taught by European law. I'm not European thats not my customs. They where forced on me to accept as the norm. This is why people like you deam it as disrespect. If Yah the creator wants it to happen it will happen regardless of wither I want it or not. I want Yahs plan for me not my own.
You are speaking to my soul right now!!
Keep sharing y'all growth. May Allah guide you all to what pleases Him and Bless you all.
I just have one question? How does polygyny benefit you? What part of your husband having another wife and children with her is satisfying for you? We know what is permissible. We know the husband gets another wife, and a woman gets to marry a man. But what are the benefits to the existing wife when her husband decides to practice polygyny?
There are actually several. I'll list a major one. I am pretty driven and raising 7 children isn't the easiest so some personal interests had to wait till they were older.
Polygyny allows me to focus on my personal growth without having to take care of Coach Nazir daily. I can focus on my art, other businesses, going out with sisters or my children so basically it has allowed me more time without having to worry about his needs necessarily.
Far too many wives and mothers feel burnt out because they are unable to practice self-love, relaxing, or pursue other things that make them happy. So that's one major things that polygyny has allowed for me.
Though I'm not offended, I do find this amusing. I too come from a family of monogamists, however it'd be wrong and presumptuous of me to think that means that your family's marriages were all rainbows and roses. My family's marriages had cheating, lying, deceit and most failed like most monogamous marriages, most of them failed.
Keep in mind that I am not practicing polygyny, our husband is. I answered the question of the questioner above. Furthermore, you comments are a bit crass and full of assumptions. Our husband does chores and is with our children daily, far more than most husbands, he even wrote a book on proactive parenting and conducts workshops.
True marriage is between equals, however men and women are not the same nor have the same responsibilities necessarily. I am not a man with a vagina nor is our husband a woman with a penis, we have different needs, desires, wants, and expectations.
So feel free to do what you think works for you and if you want more info on how monogamy became the norm in the Western world, feel free to check out Harvard Professor Dr. Nancy Cott's book 'Public Vows'. It's intriguing and I'm assuming you'd be very surprised.
Just keep in mind that because someone practices monogamy doesn't mean that they person they married is the only person in their life.
This woman is just beautiful! " I don't own him, Allah owns him"...
You are telling my side of the story praises shalom family may the Most High continue to bless you family
You are a great queen...a true inspiration.
Jazakallah sister this soo useful talk x
I love you sister. That was some deep talk. May Allah bless your family always, Aameen.
Thank u for ur beautiful content. I have just opened up about my polygyny status on my channel and every question that seems to come my way is the same as urs sister. I know exactly why I stayed in my marriage and I see the bigger picture but there are so many critics that trying to point fingers at my husband as the bad guy. I hope Inshaallah people will see the bigger picture when it comes to polygyny
Thank you for your kind words and it's refreshing to hear you opened up about it. People should see how it works well more often and we're honored you enjoy our content!
If there is love and understanding is possible to live this life.
Your choice of words are powerful, I like your strength my sister. May Allah bless your home, I have a sister’s wife also 😊🙏🏾🙏🏾you just gain a new subscriber
This is exactly what I needed to hear, barak allahu feeki ❤ looking forward to hearing more about your point of view as the first wife, the good, the bad and how to deal with it
Alhamdulillah, a helpful perspective. I am considering talaq, but my Islamic marriage counselor insisted I look into polygyny instead as a solution. And your experiences have helped in swaying my views, as I am reluctant to take the additional responsibility of another household. Now my next step is to sit with my Mufti and get specific details on how to justly manage 2 households according to shariah, and make a decision, finally, Insha Allah. I'm only considering this alternative since my wife doesn't want me to give talaq, and she's a practicing Muslimah, so I feel I owe it to her to consider alternatives, even if she may not like "sharing". 😅 Barakallah for your insights and may Allah bless your families in this life and the next with the best. Ameen
A True Super Shero Maashaa Allaah Tabarakallaah
Wow this is powerful sister Fatima! MashAllah. Allahumma barik to your clear mind. Allahumma barik. I am addicted to your videos. I discovered your channel in early ramadan or just few days before the start of ramadan, and in less than 4 weeks i have watched many of your videos. You guys should have more subscribers and viewers. But in Islam what matters is not the number bit the quality of who watches you, those who truly want to underatnd poligyny will always appreciate your hard work. I think people are not confortable to admit they want to hear this. Also i am so amazed by your strenght as a woman because it is true that when you dont know polygyny and how it works it must have been scary time for you when you found out yoir husband married again. What you dont know you dont know. Once you started looking into the eye of this new thing i must admit MashAllah that you took the pull by the horn🎖🏆. Sister you are educating us. I am not in poligamy etc but i am learning this teaching of Islam that for me had been for so many years something I will not accept for ME. I felt like what you said in another video you did with sister Nyla, that you felt polygyny was for others, as at the back of your head you used to think, i cant handle it for my life. Also sister how can one sign to your coaching sessions. I live in europe. Thank you.
Jazzak'Allahou Kheir Sister Fatimah for this so powerful and inspiring video! May Allah bless you and your family
Masha Allah, may Allah reward you for your efforts and honesty. Ameen
Masha Allah you are strong and smart woman I proud of you your husband knows you are powerful women more than he did before.
Coach Fatimah, I can tell you are a certified G!! ✊🏽👊🏽💐♥️🥰
I have learnt so much about being a co wife, what a strong, beautiful woman u are Fatima. May Allah Swt make it easy for us. New subscriber here
Your perspective is truly unique and enlightening. Marriage isn't about any of us or any religion, but the Will of the most High and the revelation of his Messiah bringing fourth His Kingdom. Self identified Israelite women must learn to practice polygeny in righteousness as well because this single baby momma epidemic is shameful. Your spirit has been settled and there's a higher level of wisdom that is evident. All praises to TMH in HaMaShiac.
Assalamu Alaiki wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatahu
Alhamdulilah! This has been the most helpful video for me! I just literally binged watch all you all videos. May Allah reward you my dear sister and your marriage. Ameen 🤲🏾. I am a year in polygyny and I have my struggles and jealousies. This video slap me and said wake up‼️ It allowed me to look at the big picture. Everyone in the marriage is going to experience something; some change and emotions. The beauty is that you all take that and bring it together and make it work! 💪🏾You are a jewel! May Allah continue to bless and protect you all union. Ameen 🤲🏾 Have a wonderful blessed day! Insha Allah 💐
Loving you day by day because of Allah. Your videos are helping me go through this hard time of acceptance of polygamy. As a first wife, you have given me a reason to stay having solid reasons to not worry because I know my payment with Allah in shaa Allah. My Allah bless you sister Fatimah
You are a true inspiration sister❤
Sr, you are inspiring. MasjaAllah
Oh my god. I'm so happy to find your videos. I am a Muslim woman who is planning on becoming a second wife to a man, I have loved since I came to understand what love is. Due to pride, jealousy and ego, I always told myself I would never become a "second wife" but now that I'm mature and have come to realize that I love this man very much, I want to be with him. He loves me to and has always since we were young, but he had to obey his father and got married. I was heartbroken when he told he was getting married, I didnt even go to his wedding despite being friends. Overtime, my pride got the best of me, and I started dating just to show him that I didnt need him. The more I dated however the more insecure I got, because I only dated other guys for attention but he has always supported me. He ended becoming a confidant, because we were still in love with each other but we didn't know where to go from there. He told his wife that he loved me, and that I would always in his life before they got married. Overtime, I learned that despite being madly in love with me as I am with him, he respects and loves his first wife alot. He adores her and his kids. It wasnt until this year, he asked me what I thought about being a second wife? And asked me to marry him, I said yes because he has showed me that he will love and treat us both with respect. I know I would be happy with him because he brings the best in me.
But I am really scared my parents would never accept, and I dont to ruin the image they have of him because of me, what should I do?
In the same space... I can't seem to wrap my head around polygamy even know i know he is a great man that loves Allah alot
Guys what did y’all end up doing.. how didnit work out. Help a sister out!
SubhanaAllah!!!!!! Your speaking the truth everything your saying Sis, I no that’s right Sis, if they don’t like keep it moving or don’t stay on this video well said, Al Hamdulillah for you all Allahu Akbar 🤲🏾🤲🏾
MashaAllah!! This has helped me so so much. I can’t express to you. May Allah bless you. Thank you for teaching
Allaahu Mubariik! Aameen
May Allaah keep our hearts firm upon his Deen and May we die upon it. Aameen
From a Christian women, thank you.
You look beautiful as always Sis Ma Shaa Allah beautiful colors 🦋🦋🦋♥️♥️
Masha Allah tabaraka Allah. This is inspiring.
Am an infp, I wish I were enfp like you.
May Allah bless you all more and more
I am deeply in love with a married but criticize for it 🥺 this shit hurt my heart bleeds
People will criticize any and everything good or bad. When I learned to value my thoughts and ideas vs letting others try to shape them, I enjoyed my own sanity and inner peace.
Jizakallah khar
May Allah reward you my sister ❤
As salamualakum waratulahi wabarakatuhu sis fat Imah Alhamdulilah everything was beautiful said very guine we need more of that I’ve been in polygamy for 15 yrs I’m learning a lot from your talks jazakAllah khair May Allah bless you and Nyla and husband and children . Keep doing what you all are doing it’s needed .shukran for talking about the hard things that many of us don’t talk about I’m glad I found this family and pray to Allah I will continue to. Follow you all. May Allah bless you all🥰
SUBHAAN ALLAH
Yes, Yes, Yes
This is that power and more.
You have no idea, but your validation on so many levels in my life means a lot. Because it’s not just a validation on polygyny, but on other points, ALHAMDULILLAH.
JAZAKALLAHU KHAYRAN this was needed in my court.
ALHAMDULILLAH
SUBHAAN ALLAH
SHUKRAN HABIBAH🌹🕊♥️☪️
Thank you ...i dream of the man I have as a young girl but I didnt know he would come so soon. Hes a good man,we been through so much lol...my bestfriend ...i want to give him kids first dang man ...ive been a loner until him...its alot of responsibility on my end and when I say "EVALUATION"..i just want to be understood and to be understood I must first be understanding....
Salam alaikum sister you will help me a lot in this process in my life. Thank you for beautiful work.
Listening to this give me chills and so much inspiration: Yes sis, I can wait to be apart of your coaching program. Thank you for this!
You are so welcome and hope you're subscribed to our email list and site for updates at outstandingpersonalrelationships.com
Details about coaching and counseling can be found at CoachFatimah.com and CoachNyla.com
speechless
Keeping it 💯.
May Allah grant you your full reward. We are being liberated here!
I am not Muslim. I am Hebrew Israelite and we practice poligyny. I want to correct you when you say that sharing your husband with other family members is the same as sharing him with a wife. It IS NOT the same. Your husband is not entering into those other family members. He is not laying down with those other family members the way he lays with a wife. He is not kissing and caressing other family members the way he does with his wife or wives. To compare them and say they are the same is to take away from the intimate relationship that only husband and wives share. That relationship is the 1st relationship The Most High created. It is a special relationship that is not comparable to any other family relationship you may have. This is what makes it difficult for 1st wives to accept a 2nd, and 3rd or even a 4th wife. We must accept that marriage is a special relationship that is valued by The Most High! To belittle it by saying we share our husband with other family members is to belittle the wife's or wive's role or position in the family, her emotions and feelings. Our feelings should be validated. It's a difficult transition but yet The Most High allows it. That being said, your video is awesome because we all need support in this walk. I have been in poligyny for 5 years and I still struggle sometimes. My husband did not do it right either but through The Most High I have been given the strength needed to accept this major change in my life.
Thank you for you comment and Salaam/Shalom/Shalawam. Perhaps you misunderstood what I meant regarding sharing him.
I specifically mentioned sharing him with regard to time because that is what is shared with others. It should be without question that he doesn't share such intimate things with other than his wife or wives when practicing polygyny.
This is so helpful
I’m approached by a married man
Actually I’ve been struggling for 20 years,
Single struggled for people who aren’t in my life..Pakistani society is struggling with this matter.
Connection with Allah is important for everyone especially the man to know to fulfill the rights.
No Muslim or Muslima should marry a Muslim/Muslima (by name) who takes issues with God's laws. No one is above God's Laws. Arrogance is from Shyateen.
Yesss yesss
If women had some sort of national anthem lol...Coach Fatima's voice is the one!
Hilarious
Alhumdullilah May Allah reward you sister 🙂
Allahumma ameen and you also ukhti
@@outstandingpersonalrelationshi Ameen
Assalamu Alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatoh.
MashaAllah, your husband sounds just like my husband. Same habits, same ibadah. That's good enough for me.
Y’all can say whatever you want but I will never support the nonsense that’s polygamy.
Oh okay, that's good to know. But you may also want to know that polygamy will still be practiced and doesn't care who chooses to voice their opinion about it just like the weather, it doesn't care what humans think either. ✌🏽
May Allah bless you & your family sis, ameen. So much wisdom & motivation 🙌❤️! Thank you sis ❤️.
Allahumma ameen, shukrun for the kind words ukhti. barakAllahu feeki wa ramadan mubarrak
Mashallah very powerful and heartfelt
🙏🏾
Quick question y'all! Can you please relate to us the BENEFITS of being a sista wife or wife's??
I think it's a VERY beautiful thing, as long as you EVERYBODY'S happy.
Do you! I RESPECT ALL of you!👊🏾And IGNORE the haters.
They miserable either way more than likely, 💪🏾💖✌🏾
My husband wants a second wife and he is asking me for it. He is a good Muslim but he is addicted to the sin of not lowering his gaze which is why I feel he wants a second wife. Apart from that he treats me fairly and I know that if he gets married it will help him more with lowering his gaze and also I know he will treat me and his second wife fairly because he is a fair person. But the problem is, I. Will feel hurt and jealous and I can't bear it. I just can't. What should I do? Will I be sinful is I disallow him because he will listen to me if I say no even if he wants it.
We clearly don't know his personal situation and if what you say is true, lowering the gaze is an iman issue.
You don't have any authority or say in if he does or doesn't other than him allowing you to. It's not sinful for you either way as Islam doesn't give you the authority sis.
Insha'Allah Ameen ❤
🎯💯
Salaam Alaykum waRahmatullahi waBaarakatuhu. Excellent message yet you seem angry🫣
Wow beautiful! Alhamdulillah ❤️
I'm scared of marriage bc of it hurts so much my man be in another womans arms like it hurts my everything my stomach my heart is rn i feel is gonna come out i cry a lot bc of this but what we do allah is the best my allah please make it easy for me
Thank you, may Allah bless you ma.
WOW MASHA'ALLAH
I love you fatima I see myself in you 🥰🥰🥰
As salaam alakimu wa rahmatuallah wa barakatuh ukhti I love that quote Allah will bring you through it . Inshallah do you every have a day when it did break your heart to feel that he could love another women the way he love you?"
Wa alaykum as salaam sis! I think of love as something that is a VERY intimate experience. I love all my children at the same time but in different ways. Just as I believe that men love their wives at the same time but in different ways. We each have our own experiences of how we 'love' one another. AlHamdulliah. To answer your question, of course I've had those days but Allah is "AL-HAKEEM." I trust in Allah and his decisions for my life. :) I ask ALLAH for the things that will stretch me and make me become the best version of "Fatimah" that I can become. Great question! May Allah guide us all Ameen. Hope this helps! - Coach Fatimah
Bless you for allowing us to see the strength in your heart and your conviction in your beliefs. You shine in the eyes of Allah compared to the typical western woman. Thank you.
Mashallah Allahuma barik
ManshaAllah my sister in Islam I love you for seek of Allah but you EEMAN and sometimes men change when they get married to another woman but some husband still never changes and they still love you and like you said Allah swt check all of us and if he becomes unfair to the first wife but still your American strong woman and I agree with you to keep Islam and the Suna of our beloved Mohamed scw my country is all Muslim and I know your not acting and my Muslim Sisters usually don't care about what the husbands do we care what Allah SWT wants us to do your my hero
Assalamu alaykum warahmtullah!!!
my dear sister. Im a new sub. You out me a pin in my heart ♥️ first able RAMADHAN Mubarak!!🙏💝 to you and your whole family’s may Allah SWT. mercy and forgiveness be upon you&your household. Ameeen!!
ma shaa Allah. I’m speechless 😶 right now like completely out of words. May Allah Increase you in higher imaan and mercy from his blessings in this duniya&ahkira.. firstly I’m soo happy I found you subhan’Allah.#1 my husband just took a sec. wife too in another country I’m jst. 7mons pregnant 🤰 at the same time can you imagine what I’m going thru.??!! He told me abt. It long ago too. He always told me abt it.But This one happened in a really irritating quickly harder way.2 I felt hurt cuz I’m pregnant 🤰. 3 I’m far away I don’t what to think of him. 4 it down rated my heart really badly too. So plzz!! Can you giv me tips what to do? how to act? what to ask him when comes home? how to act with him without the faking and lying to each other’s? I know I won’t have the same feelings with him when he come home??! I kno it’ll take time to look at him like before!? know things will be completely diff. But he stil will be mines.?? So plzz help a dear sist. I’m so in need of yur help. I’ll go crazy to remain silent while my hurt and feel like I’m stomped down in my heart..plzz plzz plzz,!
wa alaykum as salaam wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuhu dear sister,
May Allah cause your baby to be born healthy and be a warmth to your heart and a coolness to your eyes, ameen. Congratulations!
I can imagine how you feel but keep in mind that Allah will never burden you with that you are unable to bear. There is no quick fix and I read a lot of assumptions in your message. We have courses that go deeper on the subject and maybe you can benefit from our Successful Marriage Challenge which does have a 60 pg workbook and was facilitated by my co-wife and I. Feel free to email us though because that is a better platform for us to answer the question and point to some resources in sha Allah. jazakAllahu khayr ukhti
I feel like people think u didnt have the right to choose.
In islam as a woman u have the right to divorce and your ex husband still has to provide for u and the kids. U can divorce even if u are not satisfide intimatly. For any reason at all.
Ex Husband has to provide for the Kids, not the Ex Wife. Stop spreading this new Western Invention where a Man has to pay for Life even after divorce.
Where can I find a second wife and what's the best approach in finding a second wife
We're not matchmakers nor know of any platforms that are reputable who help. We'd suggest becoming more attractive like Coach Nazir teaches, doesn't mean simply physically attractive, but much more than that so she may find you.
He recently released a free 3 video series at oprkingsandkingdoms.com that may benefit you.
Assalaamu alaykum sister, did your cowife know he was married? How did you build new trust? BarakAllahoe fiki ❤️
Wa alaykum as salaam sis! Yes, she knew full well that he was married. She actually has a video about "Why I married a married man" here on YT! If you're interested feel free to check it out! She goes more into her story and why she made the choice to proceed with polygyny. Trust was built over time but at the end of the day I gave MYSELF permission to trust again. In our Relationship Mastery Inner Circle we train and go deeper into best marriage/polygyny practices! Visit: Outstandingpersonalrelationships.com/rm Hope you find this response beneficial. May Allah guide our hearts and decisions Ameen
@@outstandingpersonalrelationshi ❤️
We knew each other prior to polygyny and even before he married again, I thought to myself that she'd benefit from polygyny. But there was no way I was going to suggest it to my husband 😄. But QadrAllah always prevails alhamdulillah.
So what happens if he wants a third wife for only 2 reasons she is 20 something and he says she wont be allowed to give birth?
What do you mean by "so what happens"?
That would be between him and any potential wife or wives. We've already spoken about that type of scenario because we practice what we preach. His preferences are known but they don't include anyone in their 20s because we have children in that range. But who knows, that could change but we doubt it.
Being that a man can have up to 4 wives i was just wondering if he could just choose a young wife a and forbid her from becoming a child bearing woman. Asking because i know how things can become for child bearing woman as we age
Coitus interruptus also known as the 'withdrawal method' of birth control where a husband withdrawals before climax is allowed only if the wife agrees according to the 4 main schools of thought in Islam.
One of the main reasons for marriage is procreation which is a right for both spouses. It's even good cause for divorce is a spouse wasn't aware that the other could not have children. Should a couple agree on birth control that's their choice.
However if a husband doesn't want more children while a wife does, it's best he marry someone who is unable to bear children than attempt to oppress a woman who desires children.
Ok.
May Allah SWT protect you guys all the time and grant you guys Jannatul Firdous. You chose the way of Allah SWT not the way of Shaitan.
Ma dream
Subhannallah
♥️
👑
No !
Ameen