Here’s Why You Should Stop Aiming for Happiness

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  • Опубліковано 24 тра 2024
  • At the Wheatland, CA stop of Dr Peterson's Beyond Order Tour, he walks the audience through the pitfalls of aiming for happiness.
    Watch the full video - utm.io/ueSFn
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 629

  • @melrussell8542
    @melrussell8542 Рік тому +1107

    I retired about a year ago. I have a bad back and neck. I bought a house to renovate. Everyone said I was crazy but it's the best thing I could have done. It's physically and mentally great for me. We all need a challenge. Playing in a blues band as well and getting involved in church. The wife would have me on permanent holiday. How tragic that would be. We travel for 3mths. I want to keep doing until everything stops; trying to add goodness to the lives of everyone I come across. That is my great adventure

    • @Teal_Bird
      @Teal_Bird Рік тому +25

      Glad to hear you have a concrete vision for your retirement days. Many don't and they suffer greatly for it.

    • @terristott7773
      @terristott7773 Рік тому +3

      ❤❤❤

    • @latinaalma1947
      @latinaalma1947 Рік тому

      Oh guy you have found the secret of life : have a purpose. We bought a house in a tropical country small simple on a nice size plot of land on the side of an extinct volcano in Latin America. My mate hired local workers ...he had been a builder/developer before I met him made and lost a million dollars in the 70s when Carter doubled interest rates. His wife walked out on him saying I married you for your potential. I met him the night his divorce was final. I was widowed for a year and a half. I was 33 and he was 37. I fell in love with him and he with me right away. He was my soulmate and I never believed in such things.
      I liked adventure. A big attraction that we both adored sailing we bought a small weekend boat almost right away. I convinced him to travel to Mexico which I had loved since childhood. He liked it... YAY. We went there as semi backpackers to meet sailing friends every CHristmas for a decade. We formulated a plan...to retire early and sail amd one day later when we couldnt lift the sails anymore we would retire in Latin America.
      He taught me investing and I invested my retirement money in tech stocks in the 90s. I did well...only becuase HE taught me.
      So at 50.and 55 we did it, we bought a big boat 45ft he gutted it and rewired, plumbed completely refitted it he loved working with his hands on it with just a Mexican helper. That gave him joy and gave me great confidence in that boat ...I trusted his skills. And off we sailed for several glorious years...what a beautiful simple boat life we had.
      Then the day came we needed to move on. We sold the boat bought that house and set about turning into an Alhambra like dream home. I drew it out taught myself architectural drawing and he supervised the build. Then as a hobby artist I picked the youngest of the crew who could draw and we handpainted tiles, built fountains, made mosaics, painted entire wall treatments it took years to get this labor of love finished and it healed my mate completely from his former loss.
      People ooh and ahh at our home. We got to spend a total of 25 years in retirement before he passed away last year next to me without a sigh, peaceully of a silent heart attack.
      How I loved that man and how I miss him...I will NEVER LEAVE THIS HOUSE. During COVID we made wills here leaving this house to the young man who helped me decorate it. He had learned English, how to drive, how to cook all the foods my mate loved in case I died first. He knows how to maintain the house and how to pay all our bills , he cleans the house, he does everything but the gardening, even driving me when I wish...his father works three days a week maintaining the garden.
      I have a millionaire's lifestyle due to my very wise mate. I only spend my social security, the rest is earmarked for later because who knows final health costs and inflation.
      You GO guy...enjoy the sense of satisfaction...your wife will appreciate it all ñater evenif she wants you to kick back now. Nothing in life is so beautiful as a sense of purpose!

    • @GeorgeWilliamThomasH
      @GeorgeWilliamThomasH Рік тому +8

      This is beautiful. Good for you my friend!

    • @Yupthereitism
      @Yupthereitism Рік тому +5

      Can I borrow $10?

  • @immersokinawa4666
    @immersokinawa4666 Рік тому +715

    How could you take something seriously if the consequences aren't serious. This statement is utter genius.

    • @kynshra8960
      @kynshra8960 Рік тому +6

      @@LikesandreplyJordanB.P fake account

    • @firemelon7296
      @firemelon7296 Рік тому +1

      We can report those.

    • @MrDmunk
      @MrDmunk Рік тому +3

      Reminds me of the justice system in New zealand...

    • @canigetachannel
      @canigetachannel Рік тому +3

      The most challenging thing a man can endeavor to do, it to bring his ego into submission. Know Thyself.

    • @marcocuatro2
      @marcocuatro2 10 місяців тому

      If you haven't fear you aren't going enough fast 😅

  • @andrewwolff2161
    @andrewwolff2161 Рік тому +62

    I am convinced this is why men are so often addicted to video games or movies. They can have both security and adventure without needing to risk their life or property. But eventually it isn’t enough because there is no real risk, cost, or need of effort.

    • @electrictroy2010
      @electrictroy2010 Рік тому

      They are smart.
      People trying to create a “legacy” are deluding themselves. Everything you create gets torn-apart a few years after you die. In 1000 years it’s as if you never existed at all
      .

    • @ifeawosika966
      @ifeawosika966 Рік тому

      Mostly cost

    • @stewartmacgregor9304
      @stewartmacgregor9304 10 місяців тому

      With video games there’s competition and competence that comes with it too, that young men crave!

  • @furiosity1337
    @furiosity1337 Рік тому +54

    "People don't regret what they did that didn't work, they regret what they didn't do that could have worked."

  • @seanedwards6995
    @seanedwards6995 Рік тому +52

    Similar to the story of the Hobbit. Bilbo is living in a very secure and happiness/pleasure oriented community where everyone lives in there safe hobbit holes and eats 6 big meals a day. Then one day Gandalf, who symbolizes wisdom, comes knocking to invite Bilbo on a great adventure. At first he is hesitant because his whole life he has been immersed in a culture where nobody takes risks and where pleasure in the only goal. Fast-forward to the end of the journey, after making wonderful friendships and overcoming great challenges he would consider following Gandalf on an adventure the best decision he ever made.

    • @electrictroy2010
      @electrictroy2010 Рік тому

      Except for the people who died. They are in a state of non-existence & would have been better off staying home (and still alive).

    • @seanedwards6995
      @seanedwards6995 Рік тому +5

      ​@@electrictroy2010 I disagree. For the circumstances of the Lord of the Rings, and on a less epic scale in everyday life, I agree with the quote, "It is better to die living then to live dying". In terms of Lord of the Rings, those who died, died a valiant out of love for mankind. Most people in life are not faced with a chance to save the human race, but they do have opportunity to be courageous and stand up for what is right. Or take a risk that will involve lots of hardship, but will be will provide them with meaning, like starting a family or a business.

    • @Arnuld15Governator
      @Arnuld15Governator Рік тому +10

      @@seanedwards6995 If you are quoting the Lord of the Rings, Gandalf has a direct quote about the afterlife and how death is not the end. "End? No, the journey doesn't end here. Death is just another path, one that we all must take. The grey rain-curtain of this world rolls back, and all turns to silver glass, and then you see it." Considering that Gandalf comes back from the dead and is from a race of angelic beings of all things. I think one of the biggest problems of this generation is how we surround ourselves with distractions and materialism when we don't focus on our soul needs. I think taking risks that even might challenge your mortality gives more satisfaction than for the ones that live safe lives who are empty on the inside.

    • @jeffmuller1489
      @jeffmuller1489 Рік тому

      Without a promise and hope for life after death, this world literally has no meaning except to improve the quality of life for as many as you can; but even this is vanity because nothing lasts forever, not even the earth and sky. A huge distraction from the fact that death IS the end for everything. Dust in the wind. Entropy and cosmic deterioration. There is no eternal value in this material world because of sin. The Bible says we should all just eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we die if Christ is not risen.
      But the "White Shores" await those who put their trust in Jesus, and those who live for this world will lose everything forever because they lived for this world alone and vanity.
      Ecclesiastes is a great book.

  • @Norman_Fleming
    @Norman_Fleming Рік тому +122

    Simply put, the value is defined by the challenge/struggle.

    • @skippylippy547
      @skippylippy547 Рік тому

      Exactly!

    • @electrictroy2010
      @electrictroy2010 Рік тому

      There is no value. Everything you create gets torn-apart a few years after you die. In 1000 years it’s as if you never existed at all
      .

    • @ticenits1926
      @ticenits1926 Рік тому +2

      The value is defined by the reward at the end. The challenge is only fun if there’s some expectation of winning. Nobody wants to run an endless marathon.

  • @DonTruman
    @DonTruman Рік тому +347

    Reminds me of the image of retirement some people have: not having to earn anything and doing whatever you want every day. Retired from any stress in life, just "enjoying" it. From what I've heard, of people who go down that path, they decline very rapidly. Emotionally, psychologically, physically. And I suspect it's because of what JP said here. We need stress, challenges, living on the edge of what we are capable of and moving forward, etc, or we decay.

    • @margusmees5720
      @margusmees5720 Рік тому

      It might be little harsh, but I find that the only retirement you can enjoy should be death

    • @ShopRat-cf9tr
      @ShopRat-cf9tr Рік тому +21

      I had hip surgery last year and was off work for 4 months in recovery. My plan is to work for the rest of my life, wether it’s for a paycheck or volunteering. I can’t do nothing everyday.

    • @jJust_NO_
      @jJust_NO_ Рік тому +9

      my father..for a year now he has a steady stream of income from a rental property. he tried to be relaxed and just go about his day watching tv. after awhile, he complained bitterly 😂 saying 'i might going to rot here'.
      funny because im the same though what i mostly do is reading heavy materials so its a form of mental stimulation than a physical one.
      now he wants to do farming and just work 😅

    • @richg2881
      @richg2881 Рік тому

      Your ignorance is disgusting. I am 84 years old. I have submitted one paper for publication to a refereed journal and perhaps several more. I am also writing my recollections of my life and family and my reflections on what I think I have learned in my life. I have just become a grandfather at 84 and hope I can pass on to her some of these reflections. Finally, if you think approaching death is a fun experience, your just another dumb MF.

    • @electrictroy2010
      @electrictroy2010 Рік тому +18

      I LOVE SITTING AROUND. I watch educational shows or science fiction. I read textbooks or follow politics or just chat with people online (about the previous topics).
      Never bored.

  • @cynthiah.a.2182
    @cynthiah.a.2182 Рік тому +34

    The parent who over protects and serves will cripple the child. Never give them the idea that you think they can't do for themselves as they grow. Our job is to make sure they don't need us

    • @sj4448
      @sj4448 11 місяців тому +1

      Prepare the child for the path, not the path for the child.

    • @davidirwin8303
      @davidirwin8303 10 місяців тому

      I cannot recall crossing the path of more than two friends who dared to parent . I too lacked the full constitution to fully parent and looked to be liked by my child at the expense of taking the requisite higher, harder ground.

  • @DTM.
    @DTM. Рік тому +66

    “Happiness requires problems plus a mental attitude that is ready to meet distress with action toward a solution.” - Harry Levi Hollingsworth

  • @Joel-ew1zm
    @Joel-ew1zm Рік тому +107

    This is a lesson I have had to piece together for myself. In the first few years of my adulthood, I had a lot of challenge in my life, joining the army, doing ROTC at a senior military college, working hard labor in a factory 12 hours a night from sundown to sunup. Fast forward to now in my late 20's, I have the life I dreamed of back then. I am out of the military, I have an extremely cushy work-from-home IT job that rarely challenges me. My mental state is much worse now than it was 5-10 years ago. After long reflection I finally realized that while my life was certainly harder back then, I was definitely happier. All my favorite memories are from those days. It shocked me to realize that getting essentially everything I want has made me miserable because now I have it too easy and life feels meaningless. When I finally figured this out I started talking to a recruiter to rejoin the national guard to sprinkle a little challenge back into my life at least on a part time basis.

    • @ogsponge8678
      @ogsponge8678 Рік тому +2

      Useless reply incoming but uh, why not focus on your job and find a more challenging position? If the position itself is not challenging simply take the money earned and invest into something challenging. For example if I were in your shoes and shared the same passions I did in my teens I'd start a project car fast. We're in an era where gas vehicles will soon be non existent. We may be the last generations to use them. With that consideration I'd be motivated to keep working an easy job and life. That's only 1 example too... although I still understand your life lacks challenge and your mental state has changed. Almost rendering my idea useless when your mental state warps a bit overtime.

    • @anival9576
      @anival9576 Рік тому +8

      @@ogsponge8678 Another one... start a family? That's challenging!

    • @keiinoue573
      @keiinoue573 Рік тому +4

      that is an amazing testimony! I feel the same way too!

    • @mikestennett6495
      @mikestennett6495 11 місяців тому +3

      There are only two tragedies in life. One is not getting what you want. The other is getting it.

    • @MathiasMartinWR
      @MathiasMartinWR 11 місяців тому +4

      This is happening to me right now. I was an athlete for most of my life, an untalented one. I dumped far too many hours into a sport I loved but wasn't particularly good at. I was happy with the effort and grew a lot from it even though I never 'made it big'. Now I also have a cushy IT job and after about a year or so of being completely stagnant I was seriously on the verge of insanity I think. Trying to expand my technical skills and explore some new athletic pass times has helped a lot but I still don't feel very much accomplished. Hopefully will continue to find my own way over the coming years.

  • @evansmith8824
    @evansmith8824 Рік тому +100

    I think in order to gain longer term happiness a lot of struggle and figuring shit out is needed. Hard work is what it is. Nobody wants to do the hard work. In many cases are pitying hard work. Sometimes there's tough shit you gotta do to be genuinely happy.

    • @laurafuller8528
      @laurafuller8528 Рік тому +2

      When I was younger, I didn’t mind the hard work. I definitely minded the low pay that generally went along with it though!

    • @evansmith8824
      @evansmith8824 Рік тому +1

      @@laurafuller8528 I think that can be part of the process that some go through tho to learn some different things that are important along the way. Many details can be lost and not thoroughly appreciated in those sort of situations by some.

    • @steamonscreen7848
      @steamonscreen7848 Рік тому

      Theres no sunshine without rain

    • @christopherjones2669
      @christopherjones2669 11 місяців тому

      Swearing brings a curse on one's life, reason Peterson does not go around swearing. Swearing is an addiction, it is negative based.

    • @marcocuatro2
      @marcocuatro2 10 місяців тому

      El trabajo hace libre 😅

  • @jdlaurence9900
    @jdlaurence9900 Рік тому +57

    Dr Peterson is truly a Godsend. Thank you Sir for sharing your wisdom to the masses. May we be willing to listen and draw from your study and teaching.

  • @Simply_Simian
    @Simply_Simian Рік тому +82

    I’m starting a family relatively young by modern standards - 26 - I’ve been working my first real career for the last 4 months and am finally feeling engaged and like my skills are being tested. I’ve never felt better in my entire life, but I wouldn’t describe myself as ‘happy.’ It would be more accurate to say that I’m productively and strenuously engaged with my life. Every day there are important tasks that need to get done and them getting done determines the stability and resources I am able to provide. There’s a rather immediate cost to just being lazy and selfish. I like that. I feel a general sense of engagement and responsibility and that seems to be much more sustaining and practical than just seeking to be in some poorly-defined state of happiness which commonly means ‘easy’ and ‘pleasurable.’

    • @jensbang5923
      @jensbang5923 Рік тому

      Hey I resemble that one part!!🤣❤️😎
      Agreed.. seriously..
      A... truth hurts moment...
      Brought to you by...
      Aww waaaa!!

    • @electrictroy2010
      @electrictroy2010 Рік тому

      You are deluding yourself. Everything you create gets torn-apart a few years after you die. In 1000 years it’s as if you never existed at all
      .

    • @Simply_Simian
      @Simply_Simian Рік тому +5

      @@electrictroy2010 I remember thinking like you when I was about 18. Don’t worry, your perspective will wisen up with experience. The fact that you and I are here is evidence that the material of the universe has figured out how to persist beyond a thousand years. While you or I may not individually persist beyond our lifetime, the ripples of our existence do, through offspring and our influence. Reduce your timescale perspective to a level that is pertinent and productive to what you’re actually doing. You can always expand your scale to eternity to render anything seemingly meaningless but it’s not really a useful way of thinking to meet the demands of your life and to create a prosperous situation for yourself.

    • @crankpatate3303
      @crankpatate3303 Рік тому

      Be weary of later in your live. Maybe at some point things will become monotonous, like everything is on rails and you just follow them.
      If you get to that place, then remember the message of this video.

    • @UmamiPapi
      @UmamiPapi Рік тому +1

      I hope to do the same. God bless.

  • @robertsnorrason2494
    @robertsnorrason2494 Рік тому +20

    "Don't seek happiness! Happiness is like an orgasm; If you think about it, too much, it goes away" Tim Minchin.

  • @user-qe7bt9dz1l
    @user-qe7bt9dz1l Рік тому +12

    I noticed only people who didn’t have a hard enough life say shit like this. All I found is a hard life leaves me traumatized. Sure I’m smarter for it but it’s hardly worth it. Give me a utopian life and I promise I won’t break shit just because I’m “bored.” There’s enough entertainment to keep me busy for that and if I want a challenge, I’ll see it healthily. I don’t need my life to be constant drama for it to be fulfilling and I think it’s dangerous to think it HAS to be. I’ve had a REALLY hard life for most of my life and yes I learned much but it’s not as great as he makes it sound. More than anything it makes me question why the fuck do I even put up with this shit? Why is life even worth all this pain? I don’t know, I guess it makes me more nihilistic than anything.

    • @phantomblacklove
      @phantomblacklove Рік тому +1

      I agree, I find his message lacks depth as even a utopia has daily struggles - in a true utopia we must actively participate ( work, and work involves an aspect of struggling in itself) in creating the life and security we need in order to secure and maintain our everyday necessities . And happiness is probably the wrong word as it is a fleeting emotion, instead we should seek a state of contentment.

    • @maquilomac
      @maquilomac Рік тому +1

      You have a point!!!!

    • @hwanniggles187
      @hwanniggles187 Рік тому +1

      Well it seems like a case by case basis. I know people who went through so much shit and despite the odds, are happy where they currently are

    • @SlurpKing100
      @SlurpKing100 Рік тому +2

      Agreed. I've spent the last couple of years immersing myself with the likes of JPB, Joe Rogan, some Goggins, etc. This mentality of "life _should_ be a struggle", and you have to do this and that and it should all be hard and serious and stressful because thats where all the _meeeaaaning_ is. All it has done is make me stressed, anxious, worried and left me with the feeling that I'm a bad person on some moral or spiritual plane because I'm not enjoying this supposed correct hard but meaningful way of life.
      I'm certain that everyone needs challanges of different kinds - obviously if we don't have anything to do we get bored. The treshhold for the amount of hardship/risk/stress those challenges need to have for us to experience meaning, I think that differs vastly from person to person. Obviously JPB knows personality exists and some people are low in conscientiousness and or high in neuroticism, but he rarely mentions it in passing if at all (11:35 in this case), he just reiterates that we should shoulder responsibility and prepare for suffering.

  • @ufcprophet40
    @ufcprophet40 7 місяців тому +2

    Insane how articulate this man is.

  • @davidpenwell3432
    @davidpenwell3432 Рік тому +13

    My issue is a can't seem to find a single path in life to follow anymore. I'm 35 and just lost all desire for everything. I wake up, go to work, come home and go to bed. These past few years of the stupidity the world has shown has taken every bit of care from me. We live.. we die. I don't care

    • @bilalyildiz7909
      @bilalyildiz7909 Рік тому

      Check Islam.

    • @tangbein
      @tangbein Рік тому +4

      Reduce instant gratification.

    • @laurawallace6061
      @laurawallace6061 Рік тому +1

      Try a martial art? Tkd has helped me.

    • @hwanniggles187
      @hwanniggles187 Рік тому +1

      ​@@tangbeinmans said he lost all desire, which includes instant gratification

    • @wengjai
      @wengjai 11 місяців тому

      Exercise everyday and watch your mind set change. Go for a run!

  • @shedactivist
    @shedactivist Рік тому +76

    I remember once wishing for more drama in my life and then getting what I wished for. That was when I came alive and learnt the most about myself and the world around me.

    • @JoesWebPresence
      @JoesWebPresence Рік тому +19

      I have lived, and now I'm appreciating my pipe and slippers years. It's boiling this down to everyday tasks that helps me. "That was difficult but it was worth it." Like eating right, or keeping the kitchen clean. Working in the garden. Fixing a drain, or dare I say, cleaning your room. I like that aspiring to better things happens on the grand scale, but it's in the mundane things too.

    • @nathanshane8962
      @nathanshane8962 Рік тому +5

      @@JoesWebPresence sometimes the mundane is boring, but often the mundane is the most needed.

    • @foxtrotjulietbravo5536
      @foxtrotjulietbravo5536 Рік тому +2

      @@JoesWebPresence - My father and my maternal grandmother taught me how to make mundane tasks fun. I just never lost that...except for doing dishes after supper. I always hated it and now I don't have to unless I want to and I NEVER want to!

    • @Ybereza69
      @Ybereza69 Рік тому

      I just want to die when there is drama in my life

    • @shedactivist
      @shedactivist Рік тому

      @@Ybereza69 Yes, but you pull through and know that you did it and learnt from it. I've had some awful times but here I am now looking back and realizing that it did not destroy me, in fact it was the making of me. That said, I don't want any more drama in my life just interesting challenges.

  • @michaelmcgarrity6987
    @michaelmcgarrity6987 Рік тому +63

    Once I quit chasing Happiness I found great Contentment.

    • @creativeape8994
      @creativeape8994 Рік тому

      0 Expectations

    • @michaelmcgarrity6987
      @michaelmcgarrity6987 Рік тому +1

      @@creativeape8994 Reality is better than expectations if you choose to make it that way. I find contentment in simple actions improving or maintaining things and helping people knowing that if I shovel snow off the sidewalk, I can expect People to have a Safer place to Walk. It's not much but it's enough for me.

  • @janicep1508
    @janicep1508 Рік тому +59

    This is why most single mothers cannot father their children well. Mom wants total safety, to make her own job easier, but dad wants challenge and adventure. Dad doesn't need easy because he has the strength and authority to do what it takes.

    • @BaiMengLing
      @BaiMengLing Рік тому +6

      could be reverse, I'm an extremely adventurous woman while my boyfriend is afraid of change: I challenge both my son and partner everyday!

    • @janicep1508
      @janicep1508 Рік тому +5

      @@BaiMengLing sure, but the norm is reverse.

    • @stevegwizzle3560
      @stevegwizzle3560 Рік тому

      Amen to that

    • @hwanniggles187
      @hwanniggles187 Рік тому

      ​@@janicep1508normally I see these comments as protentious "men are better than women" comments that mean nothing but in this case I agree. Female nature wants security so it makes sense they want something familiar and safe. I for one love adventure, doing things that can probably kill me but man does it awaken this drive within me. My older sister does too

    • @blakebunch4485
      @blakebunch4485 11 місяців тому +1

      No. The reason why all mother's single or not can't father children is because they are mothers.

  • @CAP753
    @CAP753 Рік тому +4

    Best thing about Jorden is he talks about those areas which most of thinkers don't touch or think worthy of talking about whereas they sit very close to us like a shadow.

  • @WvlfDarkfire
    @WvlfDarkfire 10 місяців тому +2

    Don't avoid conflict, tragedy, or challenges. Love them

  • @craycrayray2432
    @craycrayray2432 Рік тому +10

    Recipe for happiness and fulfillment:
    Work your butt off
    Be a servant
    Be thankful
    Be loving
    Be kind
    Have a purpose
    Don't let people tell you what the recipe
    for happiness is.

  • @JavTheJoker
    @JavTheJoker Рік тому +14

    Can't take my eye off the suit. It's killer! Jordan Peterson weren't joking around regarding his advice about dressing well.

  • @NeoShaman
    @NeoShaman Рік тому +3

    "During the countryside wars, a general swept from town to town, conquering each place with ease. In one particular town, the general discovered that everyone had fled just before his army arrived - everyone except the Zen master.
    Curious about what sort of man this was, the general visited the temple himself. Inside, the Zen master remained still, and refused to bow or even move out of the general’s way.
    When it was clear the Zen master would not defer to the general’s power, he became furious.
    “Fool!” he shouted, as he drew his weapon, “Don’t you see you are standing before a man would run through you without blinking an eye?”
    The Zen master responded with absolute calm.
    “And don’t you see that you are standing before a man who could be run through without blinking an eye?”
    Humbled by the Zen master’s resolve, the general regrouped his forces and returned from where they had come."
    That is true happiness that comes from absolute freedom from the world, and from the self. Happiness is not achieved through aims of the will. It is attained by finding the true meaning of life. To know it, you need to look happiness directly in the eyes, not run away from it, into complicated rationalizations of suffering.

  • @robertbarnum7541
    @robertbarnum7541 Рік тому +34

    Concentrating on exterior security definitely has its place, but overcoming your own greatest inner fear is where success lies.

    • @electrictroy2010
      @electrictroy2010 Рік тому +2

      You cannot overcome death/ non existence. Everything you create gets torn-apart a few years after you die. In 1000 years it’s as if you never existed at all
      .

    • @hanswoast7
      @hanswoast7 Рік тому +3

      @@electrictroy2010 you made yourself a framing problem, buddy. if your frame of reference is so big that everything gets meaningless ... maybe your frame is bad?

    • @devinkipp4344
      @devinkipp4344 Рік тому +1

      ​@@hanswoast7 well also within the frame of 1000 years I think it's a bit of the stretch to say it's as if you didn't exist at all. Feels to small

    • @theodorurhed
      @theodorurhed Рік тому

      @@electrictroy2010 The butterfly effect guarantees that your life will impact the rest of human history.

    • @FriendofDorothy
      @FriendofDorothy Рік тому

      I thought I had "security" with a reasonably well paying job in healthcare. Then they laid off 40 of my co-workers who were like family to me.... I don't think there really is such a thing as employment security, especially now. And that's okay with me. Retirement has allowed me to pursue my creative work goals so that's been and continues to be my personal adventure.

  • @ltcajh
    @ltcajh Рік тому +5

    Solomon had it all. In Ecclesiastes he says, “Vanity of vanities, all is vanity!”

  • @donnafoster5215
    @donnafoster5215 Рік тому +41

    I like Wim Hoff’s idea to consciously walk toward what I fear.

    • @paperrancher2412
      @paperrancher2412 Рік тому +10

      @Mr. E Sus comment bro

    • @nightfighter7452
      @nightfighter7452 Рік тому

      So I should pursue unprotected hookups with complete strangers?

    • @rumham8124
      @rumham8124 Рік тому +3

      @Mr. E nice try Fed

    • @jakepember2369
      @jakepember2369 Рік тому +2

      @@nightfighter7452 No but a long term relationship might do the trick

  • @munemuso
    @munemuso Рік тому +4

    “Keeping on the edge rather than the mere provision of security.” Well said, well said.

  • @kerryfoster1
    @kerryfoster1 9 місяців тому +1

    Now retired I make things HARDER. Take it easy - I don't think so. Learn new things. Walk for miles. Build stuff. Go fishing in innacessible places. Gardening and growing food.
    Spending time with friends.
    Rise to the challenge and succeed or fail. One is great the other is learning. Set yourself up to fail and feel the exhilliration when you succeed! 😀😀

  • @davidfitcher2953
    @davidfitcher2953 28 днів тому +1

    My whole life story proves his point, I don't believe in happiness, it doesn't exist or it's not something to be set as a goal. It's just a temporary relief feeling when you find a way to ease your suffering. That's why I won't be thankful that I'm happy, but I feel grateful for suffering less, and this mindset helped me to accept any difficulties and face them, most importantly, it's working, and my life is getting better, so I believe it's the right way of thinking about "happiness".

  • @brian5388_a
    @brian5388_a 10 місяців тому +8

    Brilliant. You got such a gift Dr Peterson, you open up so much perspective that I'm actually filled with joy

  • @thursday4267
    @thursday4267 Рік тому +4

    Didn’t want the video to end! Very insightful as always!

  • @NooffenceBut_
    @NooffenceBut_ Рік тому +18

    My experience is that Adventure feels better when you are coming from a place of security from which you can return. People want controlled chaos to remind them what peace is and to renew the appreciation for their own security. Seems attached to the understanding that "Without bad there is no good" but these are just my thoughts and I would love to hear others opinions whether you agree with me or not, I love the feeling you get when you are challenged mentally it's like your brain space opens up and it feels me with a happy feeling that there may still be hope for us, respect, thanks for reading, rant over.

    • @garthballantine193
      @garthballantine193 11 місяців тому +2

      You make a very good point. It occurred to me that challenges are enjoyable when I feel I have a good chance of overcoming them or that if I don't the consequences won't be dire. However if I feel I'm unlikely to overcome the challenge and the consequences are going to be quite bad then that is stressful and it's difficult to feel good in that situation. I find people with that secure base that you mentioned are far more likely to take on challenges because they have that security they can return to and so they don't understand what it's like for those without any security.
      So I agree with Peterson that challenges are necessary for a fulfilling life, it's what we're evolved to do. I'd say the trick is to find challenges at the appropriate level for you, which of course is his whole clean your room thing. It's about starting with something achievable and building up. Unfortunately though we don't get to choose all the challenges that come in life and that's where the suffering really comes in, being confronted with situations that you're not equipped for.

    • @nickmaddalena985
      @nickmaddalena985 11 місяців тому +1

      Agreed, and that is why community exists, to help those that can't or be helped ourselves.
      One part people keep forgetting in thr modern day. Family and community are vital for not just our survival but growth as well.

    • @Kevin-tg4lv
      @Kevin-tg4lv 9 місяців тому

      I think our human experience is based therefore we can't know for sure what life is about anyways, all we know is that life is rigged to survive and multiply, our brains are still atached to the Primeval mindset or something along those lines, so we need work to tire ourselves out, it doesn't matter win or lose, just work, labor, not everyone is a Winner, everyone is a Winner/loser, how can we not be biased by our human being experience? rant over.

  • @crankpatate3303
    @crankpatate3303 Рік тому +12

    Wow, that one's interresting. Don't chase happiness, chase adventure. Makes a lot of sense the way Peterson explains it.
    I can also wholeheartedly get behind his example: "This was extraordinary hard to do... But worth it!" I have such a memory and it is still one of my proudest moments and something I enjoy remembering to this day.

  • @ross7684
    @ross7684 Рік тому +15

    Such wisdom! Whether true or not, my perception is that I've always had to do things for myself and my whole life has been difficult until now when I've retired. Now that I'm not struggling, I am bored and not happy.

    • @stevegwizzle3560
      @stevegwizzle3560 Рік тому

      Hell I was 25 when I decided to take a break from work for a whole year. Needless to say I fell into a depression

    • @David-135
      @David-135 11 місяців тому

      Isn't retirement just a new challenge?

  • @aviaronowitz4622
    @aviaronowitz4622 Рік тому +2

    Yeah, I'm guilty of making fun of a rule so as not to feel negative about the situation.
    Sometimes it can happen just in my head, and sometimes it's even subconscious,
    but it's good to notice it and make an adjustment to my attitude.
    I shall clean my room, even if it's one small step at a time!
    I really do like Jordan, and I should take his advice.

  • @alaindenis509
    @alaindenis509 Рік тому +1

    True happiness emanates from within, where the essence of our well-being resides. It is intricately intertwined with our health status and the nourishment we provide to our bodies.

  • @pkope6849
    @pkope6849 Рік тому +2

    Thank You Doctor !!!
    Simply Amazing ..

  • @GraceHarwood88
    @GraceHarwood88 Рік тому +8

    Finding happiness within when the hell hits, that’s where the magic happens.

  • @JosephWolf
    @JosephWolf 11 місяців тому +3

    Very interesting. Wife passed 8 years ago and I was wondering just yesterday if I would be happy again. I don't know, but I do adventure very often. Best thing I can do to cope.

    • @mrSbig20
      @mrSbig20 11 місяців тому

      Happiness is love !
      No love no happiness

  • @brettbartolett1255
    @brettbartolett1255 Рік тому +1

    Our entire society and evolution has been based on evolutionarily making life happier, more equitable, and secure. That doesn’t mean humans should be lazy. the idea is that we take care of the hierarchy of needs, so that we can concentrate our human brains in progressing on newer, more human goals. Art, technology, science, new concepts and ideas, instead of rehashing the same insecure and violent treading that we’ve done for the last ten thousand years. On the same resources. We learned to make fire, to keep us warm. We learned to farm, to have a steady food supply. We learned to make shelter to keep out dry and out of the elements. Every step in actual human progress, was to ensure a more stable and secure life for our future generations, to be able to concentrate on furthering the next step to our human potential. We are the only creatures that make art. For arts sake. We have aesthetics. We have philosophy. Thats what makes us actual humans. While still giving a nod to our biological and evoluntionary past and nature. We were meant to progress. Not to force society into the same violent and insecure pattern of the last ten thousand years. We weren’t meant to become static. We have to progress past the hierarchy of need, to further ourselves and to be able to get the next step in human progression and evolution. Insecurity and unhappiness because of having to struggle to keep fulfilling the same basic needs, instead of being able to think further beyond those needs, limits our human potential.

  • @Rich-Nov1469
    @Rich-Nov1469 11 місяців тому

    Very informative,thankyou!💚

  • @Izzy-bk8iw
    @Izzy-bk8iw 11 місяців тому

    Such a good man . Whatan inspiration

  • @ricardoguada
    @ricardoguada Рік тому +1

    Wow, I needed this.

  • @Nettamorphosis
    @Nettamorphosis 10 місяців тому +1

    “Consciousness is dancing on the edge” beautiful 💃🏽 ❤

  • @maxsheng8215
    @maxsheng8215 10 місяців тому +1

    The fundamental difference between human beings and other animals is that humans can not be happy without a purpose. After a man got everything he wants, he still want something more.

  • @neinkalando2519
    @neinkalando2519 7 місяців тому +1

    From the perspective of Buddhist wisdom I believe the answer to life is not sacrificing the only time you have on earth to pursue and protect happiness

  • @ProfoundFamiliarity
    @ProfoundFamiliarity 11 місяців тому +1

    We're all different. I love nothing more than being by myself and having very little to do. I need some activity and some company but it can be remote and infrequent.

  • @Dcypher169
    @Dcypher169 11 місяців тому +1

    I'm a moderately accomplished adult male who lives in comfort and moderate happiness - at least material contentment. And yet, every fiber of my conscious being calls for chaos and adventure against the entropy of easy death. Perhaps happiness, like the new Jerusalem, should remain an aspiration, not a state of being. thank you, Dr. Peterson, to put words on this.

  • @JohnSaber
    @JohnSaber Рік тому +1

    I love Jordan. It's a commandent I received from my Higher Conscience. Tried to fight it. I tapped out immediately 😁

  • @oftin_wong
    @oftin_wong 9 місяців тому +1

    Contentment ...more satisfying than many happiness events

  • @Iluv7shop
    @Iluv7shop 11 місяців тому +2

    JP, you’re a pure genius ❤

  • @nancyrinaldo8040
    @nancyrinaldo8040 Рік тому

    Brilliant… thank u

  • @binstrap7612
    @binstrap7612 Рік тому +10

    Absolutely love Jordan Peterson, an amazing person, please God keep him and his family safe and well🙏🙏🙂

  • @zardinus1
    @zardinus1 Рік тому +6

    I need to listen to this a million time, so not to forget! thank you Dr Peterson.

  • @wolfganghasenmaier8350
    @wolfganghasenmaier8350 Рік тому +1

    Take risks, pragmatically, creaticvely. In the doing. Also help others. Respect Karma... Happiness is only possible by having huge love and that in itself is a pure blessing from God.

  • @GoodandGone
    @GoodandGone Рік тому +9

    I've all but given up on any expectation of happiness. I used to have a radiant boyish grin but that vanished off my face like rain off a bridge when Justin and his malignant sidekick came along. Since he was sworn in , every single day has been another Hallowe'en. Justin has turned out to be some kind of an amazing athlete. He's managed to throw a wet blanket all the way across Canada. Happiness is finished so why would anyone aim for it? All dare to wish for anymore is that I somehow find the courage to guzzle a jug of bleach...

    • @nicewhenearnedrudemostlyel489
      @nicewhenearnedrudemostlyel489 Рік тому

      you could deal with that problem in a more proactive manner, and save all the others like you the trouble...

    • @smokingcrab2290
      @smokingcrab2290 Рік тому

      Biden has done the same to America

    • @maquilomac
      @maquilomac Рік тому

      What the hell man!!!

    • @mandac7769
      @mandac7769 10 місяців тому +1

      Dude, just get involved in an opposing political party

  • @hv4285
    @hv4285 Рік тому +1

    Surfer biased here. What Dr.Peterson described here is exactly what Hawaiian view of surfing, dancing on the edge of Chaos and Order. Mahalo Doctor!

  • @claytongross5657
    @claytongross5657 10 місяців тому +1

    Most of my life was not of my choice but the choices of others and I regret every decision from 13 to now

  • @elgallo5321
    @elgallo5321 Рік тому

    Thanks!

  • @mikeritter4743
    @mikeritter4743 Рік тому

    I agree 100%

  • @canigetachannel
    @canigetachannel Рік тому

    One of the most articulate minds, in modern history. This man knows himself.
    I know he would somehow deny/rebut this fact. He's got 40-50 I.Q. on me and I have a staggering quotient! [lol]
    Such a wonderful mind, sound and anchored in reality [natural law].
    A beacon of Light, in a world of Darkness and Chaos.
    Be well, Jordan Peterson and know Him.
    Sincerely, Sentient Consciousness

  • @TakuraNyagumbo
    @TakuraNyagumbo Рік тому +1

    Things are so awesome now that we get all this information for free... Wow

  • @hudabalak8905
    @hudabalak8905 11 місяців тому +2

    Do our very best and pray that God will give us the best for our lives.
    Grateful for every ease, pleasure, and enjoyment that we get, be patient with all the pain and trials in our lives.
    Then may God grant us contentment and happiness in this life and hereafter.

  • @refiloedigoamaye8536
    @refiloedigoamaye8536 10 місяців тому

    Genius video

  • @digitalbrandingintl
    @digitalbrandingintl Рік тому +5

    What would be life without Dr Jordan Peterson......he is absolutely pure high end intellect

  • @acxezknightnite1377
    @acxezknightnite1377 Рік тому +2

    What wisdom. He’s a gift to us all.
    I wonder what social services would say to parents who don’t want to mollycoddle their child, but expose them to the unpleasant realities as they progress through childhood, of what awaits them as adults?!

  • @wyattolsen7562
    @wyattolsen7562 Рік тому +1

    "cursed is the ground FOR THY SAKE; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life"

  • @incognegro2315
    @incognegro2315 4 місяці тому +1

    Chasing happiness is something you’ll forever do. It’s a CHASE, you never CAPTURE it

  • @zeydtc
    @zeydtc Рік тому

    One of if not the best JBP clip!

  • @HungryTacoBoy
    @HungryTacoBoy Рік тому +13

    It was a blessing to see Dr. Jordan Peterson live.

  • @irar4665
    @irar4665 Рік тому

    Fantastic.
    Would however phrase it that we SHOULD pursue happiness BUT the definition of happiness is NOT security and safety...but must be of the challenges /adventure....

  • @Sharonjrainey
    @Sharonjrainey Рік тому +1

    Depends on what you mean by happiness, quite revealing.

  • @LuciTulcea
    @LuciTulcea Рік тому +1

    If we don't expose ourselves to hardship in various forms we are unprepared for life's difficulties.

  • @lawrencevandenberg7725
    @lawrencevandenberg7725 Рік тому

    Nice, even-tempered delivery, Dr. An intellect adventure, w/no sudden squalls. Russia is enough squalling
    , all on it's own, enh? As a pair of humans, though, we need to admit the adventure begins with conception--that's when Mom knows her personal security was re-placed. Dad won't be certain til the emergency--"all the fingers and toes there?" The child--you&me&allofus--are on the grandest leg of our adventure in the womb, w/the various lectures to follow. Our only and true antidote to the security hustle, is to engage w/at least one other person who's at ease w/still being alone--wombed for the duration. Such a dream...

    • @electrictroy2010
      @electrictroy2010 Рік тому

      You are deluding yourself. Everything you create gets torn-apart a few years after you die. In 1000 years it’s as if you never existed at all
      .

  • @jensbang5923
    @jensbang5923 Рік тому +4

    Truth hurts..attachments to outcomes cause pain...
    Simply accept pain it comes with everything... especially accomplishments including success..and others failures and defeates..pain..it's everybody's business!!

    • @electrictroy2010
      @electrictroy2010 Рік тому

      You are deluding yourself. Everything you create gets torn-apart a few years after you die. In 1000 years it’s as if you never existed at all
      .

  • @YELLTELL
    @YELLTELL Рік тому +5

    Facts! The flood is always coming ALWAYS

  • @fun----
    @fun---- Рік тому +1

    Eliminate negative brain input/programming, and watch your life flow; it is amazing beyond measure. Then your instincts will lead you to amazing happenings you couldn't imagine.

  • @WS49
    @WS49 Рік тому +3

    It could be that we shouldn't aim for happiness as it is only a byproduct of something else. Peterson suggests instead aim for adventure, challenge, and responsibility. This could be the true purpose of the human condition, and in the process of seeking such - we will find happiness.

  • @Scott21
    @Scott21 11 місяців тому

    I really wish I could talk to you! I love your experience and knowledge.

  • @georgesimon1760
    @georgesimon1760 Рік тому +15

    If you asked JP which brand of peanut butter to buy, he would spend 20 minutes quoting Dostoevsky.

  • @AnObscureWord
    @AnObscureWord 6 місяців тому

    8:54 "Could you be pushed to your limit optimally if there wasn't the possibility of falling apart and breaking?" Open question indeed. I'm tempted to say "yes" because it seems like video games, for example, are a setting where you can get immersed in the challenge -- except, unlike real life, failure doesn't lead to pain.

  • @coyoteden8111
    @coyoteden8111 11 місяців тому +1

    3:47 "Happiness is a boat that's easily capsized, and the waves are always there."

  • @michaelyadchuk7269
    @michaelyadchuk7269 11 місяців тому

    As a 17 year-old with a “rabid dog-type” intelligence… a proclivity toward depression… and a general inclination toward hard work (conscientiousness)… i get beaten bloody every day by the repression and ignorance and laziness of the people around me. And then I build bitter and cynical outlooks that just forces me down to the level of every other hedonic fool. Dr. Peterson, though, one step at a time, is saving me. I really don’t think I’d want to live in a utopia where all I do is casually allow all my temperamental strengths to find shallow expression whenever I want them to. Maybe I’m even glad there’s so many people out there to work with, motivate, and pull into the cold pool/out of their somnambulant zombie state. We’ll all figure it out. One step at a time.

    • @reza2733
      @reza2733 Місяць тому

      Why do you cage yourself by labeling yourself with those terms?

  • @timbedic6675
    @timbedic6675 9 місяців тому

    Never forget that everything he is saying here is nothing that you didn't know already. Sometimes you just need to hear it for it take root and bring about the change you need or want to bring about.

  • @gasaxe6056
    @gasaxe6056 Рік тому +1

    Fear nothing and power through life.

  • @emo666man122
    @emo666man122 11 місяців тому

    very true

  • @stevekariuki2577
    @stevekariuki2577 11 місяців тому

    Helping cure my depression

  • @cadewhite8670
    @cadewhite8670 Рік тому

    Yeah dude just keep working your entire life you don’t want to hang out with your family and be happy and enjoy your time just keep
    Working never stop!!!!

  • @MotoWorld777
    @MotoWorld777 Рік тому

    we made some stickers that say "Safety is not our first priority". If it was we would not do the things we do!

  • @bankfokus2600
    @bankfokus2600 10 місяців тому

    It's rather important to define what you mean by happiness. Complete happiness may be when everything that currently passes through your mind result in you not wanting it in any other way, even if you were omnipotent. It does not mean however that you feel the best feeling imaginable. Theoretically it may for example exist an ice cream that put you in complete ecstasy but you could be equally satisfied with eating something more mundane like potatoes. So happiness is not about making life as easy or pleasurable as possible for you but rather by being at peace with all aspects of your life, including hardships. Out of curiosity you then explore internal or external life phenomena and stop running away from pain. With experience you have a chance to build up a greater resilience and hence increase your ability to stay in a peaceful mind no matter what passes through it. To be in this state may be the end-goal of life and what some would call Nirvana but given the non-divine nature of humans pragmatically you would need to fall out of it to learn how to better be able to stay in it. In reality you would then retrospectively from a peaceful state of mind probably prefer a somewhat stressful life just so you were able to reach the state you are in. In theory however you naturally would prefer a complete peace of mind from the get go, instantiating the concept of divinity.

  • @cartoons981
    @cartoons981 Рік тому

    happyness can be trap preventing questions . its emotional pain that provokes questions . or curiosity like unconcious animal or machine unable to see meaning of meaninglessness

  • @slawa_larin
    @slawa_larin 10 місяців тому

    That hit me hard: "how are you ever going to take something seriously if the consequences aren't actually serious?"

  • @SaadMohammedGhori
    @SaadMohammedGhori Рік тому +1

    I think I agree but here's a question: what are the proportions of the balance exactly? Is it 50-50? 60-40? It seems to me that it is not 50-50 but in fact more tilted towards chaos rather than order and more to the right hemisphere than the left as I believe Dr.Ian Mchgilchrist says.

  • @peggyoneill9933
    @peggyoneill9933 Рік тому

    I'M NOT trying to be anything ! I'm am happy and nothing this world can take that from me . Beleive me so many people have tried to take my joy . But you cant because you see my joy comes from inside. People hurting people is going to be the distrucion of our world . Hurting someome in my 65 yrs i have learned that you cant hurt someone and say your helping then . Wow I so thankful im not here for much longer so many people so much stupidty . God bless

  • @ZONEDINN528
    @ZONEDINN528 11 місяців тому

    Yes Sir! 🙏

  • @suzakico
    @suzakico Рік тому

    I know Daisetz Suzuki, a Zen scholar, said: Heaven is not to be the place to stay for long. It is the idea of Bodhisattva - he may be able to go to the other shore but come back to work in the hell (it is the case of Zen master Joshu.). So, such cases point a similar idea as Peterson's. (As I write, I just wondered that me at almost 75 years old, I had been into some unpleasant situation for a while. But being able to go through that without much scars, I am taking that experience fairly positively. Even though some bad memories still pop up every now and then, they do not stay in my mind but for few min.

  • @jackedup8135
    @jackedup8135 Рік тому

    Sick suit!

  • @MarcusVinicius-vl4zj
    @MarcusVinicius-vl4zj Рік тому +4

    This guy is smart as f im wondering how he got such wisdom

    • @Translibtard
      @Translibtard 11 місяців тому

      Hard work. Presumably born with a Higher IQ and also presumably nurture.