I've been an observer all my life! Observation used to be one my favourite words. Even when I picture a scene or imagine an orchestra playing music in my mind, I am the un-biased camera. There is no personality in the experiences I'm just this eye that is watching. Even some of my dreams are like that - I'm not participating in them, but merely floating around from scene to scene getting a birds-eye view. Thanks for the comment, great videos by the way.
I know this is a really old video, but OMG YOU'RE DESCRIBING EXACTLY WHAT I GO THROUGH. The feeling like I'm looking through a TV screen, controlling my body from somewhere else, dissociation. Even down to the white wash and snow vision when it gets really bad. I even went through a period of researching seizures and brain trauma. Sensory overload makes a LOT more sense, because it *is* happening in sensory overload situations (high anxiety, too much going on, social situations I feel uncomfortable with, bad arguments)... Wow. I feel like I'm gaining such a fantastic insight... Unfortunately I don't really know how to stop it without, like you say, basically shutting down and being weird/rude to people or freaking out...
so similar, because its routine. things last same time because its not biological , it is technical system. Wirelessly connected to some other persons. Artifacts to your senses. Get a girl connected to you wirelessly and you start thinking you're gay.
OH MY GOD. I feel exactly the same way. I've been looking for someone that experiences sensory overload like I do. It's so good to know I'm not alone. This is EXACTLY what happens to me when I'm overstimulated
I remember when I was around 11/12 years old, it seemed like there was a dark cloud over everything all the time. Kind of like how when it's sunny, but there are dark storm clouds moving in, and it's dark but bright at the same time. It's hard to describe. But for about a year, maybe more, that's how everything looked to me.
When something describes you so perfectly, it's a little uncanny. I'm glad to hear you have identified with my experiences. If you are serious about getting a diagnosis, read up on it. Check out some of the AS-related books out there. I have a video reviewing some of them. Self-diagnosis is OK, but you should validate your thoughts by consulting a professional to get a diagnosis (if that's something you would like to make official). PM me if you have any more questions.
I have experienced this on many occasions, there have been many mornings that I wake up already feeling like this. I struggle with nearly every issue you have made a video to discuss. I have known since I was young that I was different from everyone, however I didn't know why. School psychiatrists in rural Georgia failed to recognize the signs of Asperger's Syndrome in my behavior. I did not realize I have asperger's syndrome until I found your video's. Thank you for sharing your experiences
When I feel like nothing is real, I think about an episode of southpark, when they find out they're in the matrix, and everyone is drunk, and the sober ones see reality, and it's all shit. I see it as a gift we have to actually see things as they are, unfiltered.
I've had many of these similar experiences. Starting about a year ago, I started having these episodes where my sensory experiences led me to believe everything was simulated. This led to me watching more of your autism videos and it's eerie how similar many of our experiences are. You and others have encouraged to share my own experiences; I haven't talked yet about my own experience with depersonalization and derealization, but it's on my to-do list. Just wanted to say thanks for sharing your story and lighting a path for me.
I recognize this dissociation feeling. They are rare to me, but I remember these moments very vividly, because I was trying to make sense of what was happening, which I couldn't and resulted in panicking. While from the outside everything seems normal. The combination of being extremely tired and sensory overload would cause this to happen. Meltdowns on the contrary, I experience often and it disables me to speak or move and I'm trapped in my own body while all my senses are heightened.
I learned I have Asperger's as an adult, but I recognize these same patterns from my childhood, and continuing into adulthood. I would frequently feel disconnected from my own body and environment. To me, the sensory overload feels like being adrift on a really turbulent see. So much input is coming at me in overwhelming and unpredictable ways that it's almost impossible for me to feel any sense of stability or being grounded. Now I try to find something to cling to for stability. I hug my dog tightly for deep pressure. Showers help, because the sound and feel of the water in an isolated environment helps me focus on that rather than all the other stimuli. If I'm out, I try to find a friend that I like and am comfortable with and talk to or be with him. Again, I hyper focus on one subject to minimize other input sources as much as possible.
Thank you so much for talking about this. I've been experiencing similar states of mind for at least the past 10 years.. In a quest to figure out what was going on, I also stumbled upon depersonalization and derealization disorders and have been using them as words to describe my experiences with the issue. I never considered it could be sensory overload... I'm transgender and have been on hormone replacement therapy for about 1.5 years. Before starting hormone replacement (with transdermal testosterone), I used to almost constantly be in what I described as a 'cloudy' state. I had trouble connecting with my conscious processing of sensory information, and it often seemed like everything as covered in a haze. I started testosterone and that sensation largely disappeared. I thought that it was just the difference between having 'estrogen brain' and 'testosterone brain,' but now I think that it might have something more to do with some kind of shock to my system... It has slowly come back and occurs more and more often since my hormones have leveled out... Besides the dissociative 'filter' state, there is this more rare state that I have experienced. This rarer state is really frightening and more obtrusive than the 'filter' state. During the rarer state, everything seems to move slowly, almost like a slow-mo film. My brain seems to be going very fast, and I become very impatient with the slow rate of the world. If I speak, it's as though I have already said the words as they come out of my mouth. When I try to listen to others speak it is very difficult to concentration because it seems that they are taking forever to form each syllable and all other sounds in the room are distracting. I have gotten very panicky when this has happened in the past, and sometimes I can feel it coming on as a pressure behind my eyes. I have really felt that it is a physiologically-based issue rather than a psychological issue. I have tried to explain it to my therapists before, but it is always brushed off as a 'panic attack.' Maybe it is, but it definitely feels more like an altered state of consciousness/sensory processing than the panic attacks I have had before. Sorry this is quite long. Again, thank you for talking about your experiences! It's given me a lot to think about..
I haven't been diagnosed, but as I was listening to you I almost started crying. I've struggled my whole life trying to act human and everything you spoke of made absolute sense to me. Is it normal for this feeling to fluctuate? Some days I feel like I'm doing a fairly good job of blending in and acting "normal" no matter how taxing it is, while other days I just feel like I'm existing inside of this strange looking creature from this planet which is spinning around a star... On days like this I struggle the most. When listening to somebody speak, every syllable feels like a painful tap into my skull. It feels so invasive that I usually pretend to go to the bathroom and just close my eyes or stare at something stationary for a while. Thank you so much for your video.
I have what I thought is/was Derealisation constantly for 23 years. I only found out 5 years ago I had ASD and this disorder but I also do have some CPTSD. I’m interested in the drug you mentioned too because I want it not to be constant. Thank you for talking about this. It’s helped me.
I have ""high functioning"" ASD. I often feel the same. I thought it might be DID, however I never feel amnesia. JUST LIKE YOU, even disassociate on purpose on social situations. I let ""my other self"" take control while I waste my time looking from the outside Edit: I wrote this the first minutes of the video. Gosh, it is all you have experienced too
Uni has been so dissociative for me. Constantly I feel like a ghost. Like I don't really exist and everyone is just playing out like the program with the woman in the red dress from The Matrix. I took an anti-depressant at one point and the dissociation was completely the same as you describe. Everyone looked like they were 2d and they'd lost their humanness. Like I couldn't even register anything about them apart from the fact they were walking and talking with each other. Nothing else even phased into thought. Everything was just movement and sounds, but no purpose. It was so empty.
You literally just described my world. This deserves more attention. I had a situation a while back when being introduuced to a rather forward type of guy. Seemingly out of nowhere one guy i had been introduced to already introduced me to another guy in a really loud excited kind of way with lots of loud talk, I literally just mentally melted down looked at the floor and was like wtf is happening I can't focus, too much too much, it got much better soon as one of them went away.
Great video, it's very courageous to share these things. I have to say that there are still a lot of things that I don't know about AS, I know the broad strokes are the same between people with the diagnos, but still very individual. It is similar to my illness in that regard. Thank you for helping other people with AS by making videos like this. It helps a lot for us NT's.
your videos have really helped me with my own effects of aspbergers, understandng another side of this disorder has somehow helped me sift through my own. everytime i have a strong reaction to something, I look up your thoughts on it and it just makes the clouds muffleing my mind clearer, i might be rambling now but I just wanted to thank you for awsome videos delveing into the confusion 👍
Thank you. I feel like I should cry... For almost of my life, I experience sensory overload and sometimes long and very intense dissociation. I 'm 52, diagnosed at 39. It is very difficult to explain and you make this in words people can understand. When I try, I say I' m not here. Or things, houses, cars, people are fake, I see them through a camera, and everything is in 2 dimensions. I can't find help because I 'm not sure they or I are real. The trigger is when I have an autistic burnout, cause by sensory overload or by feelings I can't identify, I just can say is I don' t feel well. I't a relief to hear your testimony, I'm no more alone, thank you.
I was diagnosed with Depersonalization Disorder when I was 20. And my depersonalization only started when I started college, when everything changed in my life.. And never went away. It gets worse when I change environments. And you even describe seizure like activity like I have, too... getting overwhelmed seems to cause some type of absent seizure type activity. I understand everything you are talking about here. I was recently diagnosed as being on the Spectrum, and I'm 34.
Well said that you thought it was ‘self-originated’ thanks so much for stating that - that a deep anxiety disorder was actually sensory overload, and an adaptive shutdown- that is exactly it! Thank you sooooo much for that. My therapist doesn’t realize this
I've been typed as a HSP (Highly Sensitive Person). I can't be in busy places for too long because of all of the constant noise is hard to filter out. Anxiety kicks in before eventual panic attacks as I can't retreat to somewhere calmer--same for bright environments where I experience huge migraines. It took me a while to learn it's best for me to listen to music when I'm out and about. I prefer low light conditions. As for the dreamy feeling. I know that feeling all too well. I'm a big gamer, so I always looked at it from the perspective of playing a first-person game--just with really cool graphics more than anything. Or lucid dreams...I love lucid dreams.
Think I remembered where I first to dissociated. I had a rough day in middle school, physical attack I think, and was walking home. Punched in my ribs, but I wasn't really hurting - I'm normally hyper.. to pain... That got me analyzing myself & environment, and I realized how distant everything felt, even my own body, thoughts, Marionette, etc. [see prev posts] I don't know if it's Meditation's influence or aspects of that state, but I still feel sorta Marionette everyday - clumsy, etc..
It's interesting, I'm not on the spectrum (three doctors have confirmed this) but I can kind of relate. What you described with being in tune with sensations but not emotions is the exact opposite for me; I'm deeply in tune with emotions and can tell you in exact detail how I feel about a situation, but I have a hard time processing sensations (I sometimes overeat because I can't process that I'm full, for example).
Way I look at it is NT's "Feel" Emotions, I feel the Physical Affects of Emotions in my body. I know I'm stressed when I realize I'm relaxing my sholders, fear makes my muscles squeeze and spasm, nerves makes my stomach fill with butterflies and mess with my Thought Processing, etc..
I have experienced many times the dissociation feelings you described, and they appear in sensory overload times as well. I feel like im watching myself do things, and walking around the house can become a very strange experience. sometimes things that are far away feel really close, or my tv will feel like a movie theater screen. its almost like my depth perception is off. when it happens it typically only lasts for about 15 minutes. when people talk to me during it, they dont make sense to me
The problem with this disorder is its terrifying nature, an autistic horror, especially if it happens in a group making ASD folk feeling impossible to move, frozen, outside themselves under the weight of other people watching. So frightening this state of mind that you become very fearful it will happen again resorting to becoming obnoxious verbose or argumentative or my main tool solitude, oh blessed solitude!
I feel more like an observer more so than a participant. I remember once going into darkness around people. I also had similar experiences while having to endure sitting in a classroom at school
That's definitely DESPERSONALIZATION, one of the symptoms that I have is the sound, it's like I'm inside a box and all the sound I hear is coming from outside the box, so the sound is bad and I can't define where is coming from exacly, what direction
I have Asperger's and know this to be the case with me.. like you are in a movie and have very little control .. so you get scared at times and freak out.. I get that kind of disassociation .. its part of the syndrome.. numbness, mind blindness.I get very afraid of noise, and it gets worse at night.. when I lie down my ears are so "tense" and sensitive. going out with people is very hard with me.(cant hide).
My doc prescribed anti-Ds but I just take the odd Xanax :(I am not in favor of drugs but I know they would help.. thanks. I have been doing the mindfulness meditation, seems to ease it off. My doc also prescribed a drug called Buspirone which made me jittery. Thx.
And for the record.. I'm 38, just diagnosed and still don't get emotions.. and to a lesser degree, still disassociate at times. Though since my emp broke me a year ago, I've been trying to live 'more genuine', live in the moment without falling back on acting, figure out who I am, etc...
Oh my gosh, this happened to me too. Not as severely as you are describing in this video. But I remember walking my dog and suddenly the trees almost seemed like unreal somehow, like digital, if that's the right word, like fake trees inside a game. This happened also before when I was looking at the sky and the clouds. I remember simply, almost switching off once. I was at the mall, my husband was going to pay for our parking ticket, we were standing at he machine, and we both dissociated at the same time. We only came to again when the lady behind us kindly asked if we were going to pay, or if she could go first.
My girlfriend experience exactly this. When we quarrel over things and we upset eachother she just shuts down. I feel sorry for her. It sounds scary. The worse part is that NT people don't always know about this. I didn't find out untill after we had hurt eachothers feelings and I had grasped her in despair, trying to make sense of why she would say these mean things and as she experienced her shutdown I was unaware of it at the time. Felt as if she was ignoring me. She has AS and I have Crohn's
Some of this hit home for me, I have a huge issue with feeling like nothing is real, relationships and general living, it just isn't real, most of the time is like that, I don't know why and I have just learned to deal with it, but I don't see snow or fuzzy so much, sometimes I struggle to tell whats real and whats not?
Amazing forms of perception. You should read some books on meta physics, lucid dreaming, quantum mechanics, astral projection and the concept of time. You can really use these skills to your advantage and discover, invent and create amazing things. You will come up with incredible ideas.
For me it feels like there is this mall or shopping center or whatever in my head which is supposed to be full of shoppers and staff, since it is a saturday afternoon or some other prime shopping time. But suddenly, no one is there, just me, and maybe a security guard who is locking doors and turning off lights. It is a terrible loneliness and helplessness, to have urgent shopping or sells or whichever role I am supposed to be playing in this scene to do but have only empty, darkening hallways. This especially happens when I'm put on the spot (or whatever the frase is), and realize I have no idea what to do or am under a time constraint to get things right the first time or otherwise feel like everyone is expecting something of me. Sometimes it happens randomly in mid conversation and I just sort of zone out. Oh, and also when someone is pestering me about something, like what my specific plans are, when I'm already stressed out. I have trouble saying anything at all, or end up repeating "I don't know" over and over. I also find it hard to form words and my speech gets super slow, like, one word at the time slow. Everything around me feels so far away and muted, but loud at the same time. I mentioned these to my therapist, but she could only think of the dissociative disorder, which however would need to have more extreme feelings of absence, if I understood her correctly. Neither I nor she came to think that this could be an asperger's thing. It's been half a year since then, I think, and now we've started to look into the possibility that maybe that's what's been going on in my life, but only after I got diagnosed something else entirely first, which made me confused enough to start my own research online. UA-camrs like you and all the wonderful comments you get where people share their experiences have been a huge help in narrowing things down.
What you describe is depersonalization. Ive done a lot of research on the subject. It's been years since ive suffered from depersonalization. Now i've learned for to dissociate only when i really need to on command. It has to do with over stimulation as well as unprocessed emotions. I found Shadow work (youtube Teal Swan) to be something that can certainly be of help. I've never been diagnosed with AS but i think I may be somewhere on the spectrum due to the way I think and am. Working through and processing the unresolved emotions i think may be the key.
..think I get what you mean. This was over 2 decades ago, I've managed to handle myself a lot better since then. *pat* But I remember it being sorta like, hard to describe, a mix of B/W TV and Color TV. Colors where washed out and, yea.., I do remember the 'high contrast'. Walked most the way home watching my feet, to avoid looking at the sky.. It wasn't so much "Bright" (now my eyes have real issues with bright lights..), as the "Shiny Stuff drew my Focus".
Sounds very fimiliar. I remember in my teens, walking along reflecting on myself after school, and realizing that I'd been feeling 'disassociated' for the past week solid! Looking back now; it wasn't solid, I'd sort of go in and out of it, like in and out of School (hmm?!? can't be any connection there..lol..), or when I'd get home as my mom was always in a bad mood..
Wow this is how I feel., have done for over 10 years , emotional stress overload I blame , I have tried various , alternative treatments but can't shake it off , keep going into a trance seeing the visual snow a lot and eyes blurrr up.abit ..
Jesus: You are describing how I felt during my "manic episodes" which began in 11th grade. And now I realize the way you describe how I felt I think has been all my life. I just never had words for it. I was diagnosed as "bipolar 1" after my first manic episode. By now I have figured out I likely actually have Aspergers. I would really like to talk to you more about what happened to me in my manic episode. Because what you have talked about is so close to how I felt during manic episodes. Everything had an intensity to it that made it seem almost not real. I started telling people "everything is fake." I strated maybe as consequence of this feeling to have some religious thoughts like "everything is fake so we must just be souls". And I was on a deep search for me "soul" which i felt was "lost"....there is so much more I would like to personally share with you. Is there a way I can contact you?
+Marianna Tsemekhman That happened to me this summer. I had just self-diagnosed myself with Asperger's after having researched it the entire week (stopping mostly for sleep), and one night I decided to write down what I had discovered. As I reflected, recalling my past experiences and seeing them in that new light, I found myself filled with gratitude for finally being able to understand. I wrote these things down, then went to bed. Early next day, I realized my sense-experience was radically different. I was sitting on a bench outside when suddenly the world around me became substantial, and significant, every detail of every thing vieing for my focus. It was like waking up from a dream and finally seeing the world as it was meant to be. Everything became exceedingly bright and richly colored, and I was aware of all the senses at once as if for the first time. It was like that for a week; boundless, grateful, no longer caring whether I was being weird, or feeling anxious about people, just reveling in it. I felt kind of like I'd been given a permanent trip, like mushrooms without the hallucination. It tapered off without a crash, but things hadn't gone back to the way it was before - I had just landed somewhere else new. Less spectacular, even more social anxiety than before. Now I often wish to experience it again.
I have had the same experience many times for long periods of time like weeks or months..but I forget about them. But i believe they are part of Gods plan. I have been thinking that if people with Autism are so sensitive maybe they do have empathy. Cuz my friends say I am nice.
This disconnect happened to me last night after my 3rd night at the boardwalk in Wildwood. Actually the night before I decided to actually pay attention to my surroundings and immerse myself in it, and I got panicky and I got a bit overloaded and didn't want to go on any rides or talk really... Then like I said the next night I just became so disconnected from "me". Where normally I would almost "feed" off of the energy around me and have that affect me, it didn't happen. Wasn't uncomfortable,
I get that when I'm having Chronic Fatigue from Autism & or Information Overload or just TMI...A few things can cause that feeling...But yeah, it's like I'm not really awake & I'm not really asleep...Like everything I do is just oddly out of focus in a way that makes everything seem kinda dreamlike & fuzzy...I don't step outside of my body & watch myself do things like I'm a ghost who just died, but I get in this dreamlike, fuzzy state where the whole world & my body just seems super weird & fuzzy (like things kinda don't seem real, like a dream state) & things look like brighter & such & like I need glasses to see better all of a sudden. I can't really describe it...It's like I guess the feeling of heavy anesthesia & it having a super hard time or it taking forever (All day sometimes) for it to wear off...It's different, but I guess it's just a part of Autism & for me, being sick/ill allot of the time...I mean, I have Sensory Processing Disorder & at times even my Vestibular & Proprioceptive senses are sensitive...Those are the Proprioceptive: Being able to & knowing where your body is placed in the universe (Like knowing if a wall is too close or too far) & Vestibular: Balance & coordination...Some people are over sensitive to the 7 senses (Sight, taste, touch, smell, hearing, proproceptive & vestibular) & need less of whatever is too much information at the time...& some are under sensitive of the 7 senses & need more of whatever sense to feel less sick...Allot of people can be both over & under sensitive & it's common to have more than one sense not working at the same time. 😊😎😀🌞🌈🙏✌
It also can give my body a tingly sensation & other such bodily sensations...I also have Partial (confusion) Epilepsy with Autism & so if both things are messing with my information processing & understanding, well, it's an interesting feeling & experience to say the least. 😎
or comfortable, I just had no emotion. In fact the word "nothing" comes to mind. I looked through people like they were nothing, I had no motivation to look around, or interact with my environment, no did I have any "motivation" to speak any louder than a quiet, calm talk. And for the next 2 hours or so until we left I went from that to just being quiet. Also, for some reason, I feel like I need this sweatshirt I'm wearing like a kid needs a blanket... I guess it comforted me before, it's weird
Yes the state for me helped in this regard, but it's not as positive as you hope it to be. It was like being under the influence of some drug, a kind of ego death, there is not much of you left. It was basically trading one issue for another. It got me through university, but on the inside it was very intense. I thought it was some kind of brain damage.
This is a very good description. Were the pale colours very bright? I don't know if I would call it bright in the literal sense, but they blocked other things out. It's like someone was playing with the contrast of a television, and I would feel this pressure in my eyes. I felt like my pupils were going extremely pin-point and I squinted.
I've felt this same way before (the Depersonalization), going to sleep at night I'd feel like the wall's where closing in on me, I used to feel like I was being rocked to sleep by my bed at times too, I've just plain felt not real at times too, because it feels weird to me to try & grasp the feeling of being in a body & looking out at my body in the mirror, so as you can imagine me looking out at others in their body it's hard for me to grasp that they are in their's too, I sometimes feel.......
I got this in a noisy concert, it was very loud that I couldn’t stand it anymore then once I got up I felt that I was looking in 2D, I tried to move my eyes to different directions but I couldn’t, I was seeing everything in the same time but blurred, I don’t have depression at all, I don’t take medication as well so I think it is sensory overload
Nice observation with the depth perception - there is often this shrinking and growing visual effect. How far back did you start feeling the dissociation?
When I try to remember a "melt down" everything seems "bright". I am embarrassed because I can't remember how I acted or why it happened. But is does come when there is a lack of structure and/or there is a lot of "meaningful noise" (noise that grab your attention). I know that I tend to have a hyper focus on the task that I fail to notice the social cues around me.
like maybe I have when into a coma & am dreaming all this, I have also full blown dissociated during a meltdown before, I didn't remember anything until we got to my Sensory Integration Therapy appointment & she had me swinging on the platform swing with the light turned off & a little light coming in from the hallway, I had a weighted blanket on me, so yes, I know what you are talking about here.
I feel a lot like that a lot however it doesn’t rlly leave, I’m in quarantine and the feeling is still there, it’s gotten a kinda worse. I’m not sure what’s wrong
Hi guys, have a question - does your sensory integration improves during dissociation ? Well, I understand, at the beginning every single noise can freak you out. But after some time in this ,if you 'handle' it, stimuli doesn't "surprise" you any more and you can detach from you homogeneous stream of thoughts to stop focusing on details and 'see a big picture'. Anyone has had a similar experience ?
I have noticed a sensation of sensory overload whenever I take stimulants. My mind seems to go absolutely nuts and I have difficulty understanding basic concepts. Soon after, I experience what many would describe and depersonalization. Strangely, when I take a stimulant with my glasses off(I have pretty shitty vision), I suddenly feel a calm sense of clarity and focus without these symptoms. Have you experienced a sensory overload after taking a stimulant?
If given 2,700 to 3,000 characters, a longer response on feeling 3rd rather than 1st person would be preferred, but alas 500 is my limit and making multiple posts for the same point is extremely irritating. Basically, certain (and many, unfortunately) pitches/frequencies sights/smells and stimuli initiate a potential meltdown and I must escape or the source must cease/leave. If neither happen, I grow silent and don't respond, but the sounds intensify and I'm trapped within, and fear for others.
ugh I am so sorry- these sound horrible! I occasionally get stress induced overloads and just can't deal with anything- I think its different than ones related to Autism and Aspergers but similar to what you're saying. Just remember you can do this : )
How are you with driving at night? I find all the lights very overwhelming, and it's really hard for me to change lanes when someone's light is shining into the mirror, I can't tell if they're far or close.
I have the same issues at night, HiGh CoNtRaSt! = High Anxiety (M.B. Ref)... I have sensitive eyes, and they've gotten more sensitive as I get older.. I wear dark sunglasses during the day at all times, inside often even (Wally World is a Bright, Colorful, Overstocked Hell.. ..forgot Noisy..*sigh*).. I have several shades or levels.. Don't tell the Police [ ;~} ], but I've started wearing my LIGHTER GRADIENT shades at night (REALLY does help!) Q: Do the new Traffic LEDs Bug You? RGY?
What you say about the seizure feeling. I also feel like it is seizure like when I dissociate. Like when you experience a jump scare. Also, according to my mom, I had a really strong scare reflex as a baby. Anyone recognise this?
World felt distant, 2 dimensional and a wash in pale colors, sounds scents, even touch felt 'distant', even my vision felt distant.. I felt something near emotionless. ..even Star Trek (Original) was 'Ho-Humm' to watch!?! :~{ I wasn't depressed, not even bored, more Blasé..
To everyone watching this or maybe will catch this comment. Please, hear me out. Some of you may be suffering from some sort of medical issue, that may be true. But please look into some of the lifting of consciousness in society right now. I've suffered from most of these things in my life. I've been able to overcome them by studying the rate of consciousness in society right now. You are gifted, amazing people with "ADD", "ADHD" (my family refers to these as Attention Dialed into a Higher Dimension), the symptoms listed in this video can also be found in the ASTENTION SYMPTOM videos on here. Look at them please. You are not damaged, you are here to help raise the consciousness level. There are so many things happening right now. Look at a guy named Matt Muckelroy's page (I think that's how it's spelled), and you'll hear videos that will resonate with a lot of you. Some of you may actually have autism, but you don't have to believe it's a deficiency. Learn to use it. It's like any psychic gift, hard to live with but an ultimate blessing if you can see the good in it. And yes, I do know a few people diagnosed with autism. One of them travels around the world, is a well known artist, and helps the needy along the way with his beautiful wife. His life is nothing short of extraordinary and I've always been a little jealous of him. 😉 Congratulations on your accomplishments Corey. 💓
I've felt this way since 4. A big observer. Your lack of ability to identify emotions is alexithymia.. inability to understand your many emotions at one time. I use empathy to mske decisions. So i make dscison on how i interpret others.. which being autistic Im not always getting it right
I had overloads with certain scents or smells. And I cannot like a person if they smell a certain way. And I can not go into the sun often, it is far too bright and I just shut down.
I've been an observer all my life! Observation used to be one my favourite words. Even when I picture a scene or imagine an orchestra playing music in my mind, I am the un-biased camera. There is no personality in the experiences I'm just this eye that is watching. Even some of my dreams are like that - I'm not participating in them, but merely floating around from scene to scene getting a birds-eye view. Thanks for the comment, great videos by the way.
11 years later and you have described me perfectly. Thanks from the future.
I know this is a really old video, but OMG YOU'RE DESCRIBING EXACTLY WHAT I GO THROUGH. The feeling like I'm looking through a TV screen, controlling my body from somewhere else, dissociation. Even down to the white wash and snow vision when it gets really bad. I even went through a period of researching seizures and brain trauma.
Sensory overload makes a LOT more sense, because it *is* happening in sensory overload situations (high anxiety, too much going on, social situations I feel uncomfortable with, bad arguments)... Wow. I feel like I'm gaining such a fantastic insight... Unfortunately I don't really know how to stop it without, like you say, basically shutting down and being weird/rude to people or freaking out...
so similar, because its routine. things last same time because its not biological , it is technical system. Wirelessly connected to some other persons. Artifacts to your senses. Get a girl connected to you wirelessly and you start thinking you're gay.
OH MY GOD. I feel exactly the same way. I've been looking for someone that experiences sensory overload like I do. It's so good to know I'm not alone. This is EXACTLY what happens to me when I'm overstimulated
I remember when I was around 11/12 years old, it seemed like there was a dark cloud over everything all the time. Kind of like how when it's sunny, but there are dark storm clouds moving in, and it's dark but bright at the same time. It's hard to describe. But for about a year, maybe more, that's how everything looked to me.
You described this PERFECTLY.
When something describes you so perfectly, it's a little uncanny. I'm glad to hear you have identified with my experiences. If you are serious about getting a diagnosis, read up on it. Check out some of the AS-related books out there. I have a video reviewing some of them. Self-diagnosis is OK, but you should validate your thoughts by consulting a professional to get a diagnosis (if that's something you would like to make official). PM me if you have any more questions.
I have experienced this on many occasions, there have been many mornings that I wake up already feeling like this. I struggle with nearly every issue you have made a video to discuss. I have known since I was young that I was different from everyone, however I didn't know why. School psychiatrists in rural Georgia failed to recognize the signs of Asperger's Syndrome in my behavior. I did not realize I have asperger's syndrome until I found your video's. Thank you for sharing your experiences
Have you ever thought, that way we experience the world, is actually closer to "reality" than the "normal" people?
When I feel like nothing is real, I think about an episode of southpark, when they find out they're in the matrix, and everyone is drunk, and the sober ones see reality, and it's all shit. I see it as a gift we have to actually see things as they are, unfiltered.
I've had many of these similar experiences. Starting about a year ago, I started having these episodes where my sensory experiences led me to believe everything was simulated. This led to me watching more of your autism videos and it's eerie how similar many of our experiences are. You and others have encouraged to share my own experiences; I haven't talked yet about my own experience with depersonalization and derealization, but it's on my to-do list. Just wanted to say thanks for sharing your story and lighting a path for me.
Thank you for explaining this. I care a lot about how my loved one feels and what his experiences are. I hope you are doing well now and always💛
You describe what I feel often, very well.
On the nose, friend. Thank you for this validation.
I recognize this dissociation feeling. They are rare to me, but I remember these moments very vividly, because I was trying to make sense of what was happening, which I couldn't and resulted in panicking. While from the outside everything seems normal. The combination of being extremely tired and sensory overload would cause this to happen. Meltdowns on the contrary, I experience often and it disables me to speak or move and I'm trapped in my own body while all my senses are heightened.
I learned I have Asperger's as an adult, but I recognize these same patterns from my childhood, and continuing into adulthood. I would frequently feel disconnected from my own body and environment. To me, the sensory overload feels like being adrift on a really turbulent see. So much input is coming at me in overwhelming and unpredictable ways that it's almost impossible for me to feel any sense of stability or being grounded. Now I try to find something to cling to for stability. I hug my dog tightly for deep pressure. Showers help, because the sound and feel of the water in an isolated environment helps me focus on that rather than all the other stimuli. If I'm out, I try to find a friend that I like and am comfortable with and talk to or be with him. Again, I hyper focus on one subject to minimize other input sources as much as possible.
+Adam H what makes you feel better under the shower is the negative ionization of air ;)
Thank you so much for talking about this. I've been experiencing similar states of mind for at least the past 10 years.. In a quest to figure out what was going on, I also stumbled upon depersonalization and derealization disorders and have been using them as words to describe my experiences with the issue. I never considered it could be sensory overload...
I'm transgender and have been on hormone replacement therapy for about 1.5 years. Before starting hormone replacement (with transdermal testosterone), I used to almost constantly be in what I described as a 'cloudy' state. I had trouble connecting with my conscious processing of sensory information, and it often seemed like everything as covered in a haze. I started testosterone and that sensation largely disappeared. I thought that it was just the difference between having 'estrogen brain' and 'testosterone brain,' but now I think that it might have something more to do with some kind of shock to my system... It has slowly come back and occurs more and more often since my hormones have leveled out...
Besides the dissociative 'filter' state, there is this more rare state that I have experienced. This rarer state is really frightening and more obtrusive than the 'filter' state. During the rarer state, everything seems to move slowly, almost like a slow-mo film. My brain seems to be going very fast, and I become very impatient with the slow rate of the world. If I speak, it's as though I have already said the words as they come out of my mouth. When I try to listen to others speak it is very difficult to concentration because it seems that they are taking forever to form each syllable and all other sounds in the room are distracting. I have gotten very panicky when this has happened in the past, and sometimes I can feel it coming on as a pressure behind my eyes. I have really felt that it is a physiologically-based issue rather than a psychological issue. I have tried to explain it to my therapists before, but it is always brushed off as a 'panic attack.' Maybe it is, but it definitely feels more like an altered state of consciousness/sensory processing than the panic attacks I have had before.
Sorry this is quite long. Again, thank you for talking about your experiences! It's given me a lot to think about..
Zackary Herbst sensory processing can cause panic attacks
I haven't been diagnosed, but as I was listening to you I almost started crying. I've struggled my whole life trying to act human and everything you spoke of made absolute sense to me.
Is it normal for this feeling to fluctuate?
Some days I feel like I'm doing a fairly good job of blending in and acting "normal" no matter how taxing it is, while other days I just feel like I'm existing inside of this strange looking creature from this planet which is spinning around a star... On days like this I struggle the most. When listening to somebody speak, every syllable feels like a painful tap into my skull. It feels so invasive that I usually pretend to go to the bathroom and just close my eyes or stare at something stationary for a while.
Thank you so much for your video.
I have what I thought is/was Derealisation constantly for 23 years. I only found out 5 years ago I had ASD and this disorder but I also do have some CPTSD. I’m interested in the drug you mentioned too because I want it not to be constant. Thank you for talking about this. It’s helped me.
I have ""high functioning"" ASD. I often feel the same. I thought it might be DID, however I never feel amnesia.
JUST LIKE YOU, even disassociate on purpose on social situations. I let ""my other self"" take control while I waste my time looking from the outside
Edit: I wrote this the first minutes of the video. Gosh, it is all you have experienced too
OMG.. I was always trying to put that dreamy feeling into words but I never succeeded but now I know what it is.. I can tell what it is..
Uni has been so dissociative for me. Constantly I feel like a ghost. Like I don't really exist and everyone is just playing out like the program with the woman in the red dress from The Matrix. I took an anti-depressant at one point and the dissociation was completely the same as you describe. Everyone looked like they were 2d and they'd lost their humanness. Like I couldn't even register anything about them apart from the fact they were walking and talking with each other. Nothing else even phased into thought. Everything was just movement and sounds, but no purpose. It was so empty.
yes, I have written extensively about dissociative states and autism - depersonalisation, dissociation, derealisation... just as you describe
You literally just described my world. This deserves more attention. I had a situation a while back when being introduuced to a rather forward type of guy. Seemingly out of nowhere one guy i had been introduced to already introduced me to another guy in a really loud excited kind of way with lots of loud talk, I literally just mentally melted down looked at the floor and was like wtf is happening I can't focus, too much too much, it got much better soon as one of them went away.
Great video, it's very courageous to share these things. I have to say that there are still a lot of things that I don't know about AS, I know the broad strokes are the same between people with the diagnos, but still very individual. It is similar to my illness in that regard. Thank you for helping other people with AS by making videos like this. It helps a lot for us NT's.
I experience things very similarly to you. Thank you for creating a guide map to my mind and sharing your experiences with us. I have HFA.
your videos have really helped me with my own effects of aspbergers, understandng another side of this disorder has somehow helped me sift through my own. everytime i have a strong reaction to something, I look up your thoughts on it and it just makes the clouds muffleing my mind clearer, i might be rambling now but I just wanted to thank you for awsome videos delveing into the confusion 👍
Thank you. I feel like I should cry... For almost of my life, I experience sensory overload and sometimes long and very intense dissociation. I 'm 52, diagnosed at 39. It is very difficult to explain and you make this in words people can understand. When I try, I say I' m not here. Or things, houses, cars, people are fake, I see them through a camera, and everything is in 2 dimensions. I can't find help because I 'm not sure they or I are real. The trigger is when I have an autistic burnout, cause by sensory overload or by feelings I can't identify, I just can say is I don' t feel well. I't a relief to hear your testimony, I'm no more alone, thank you.
I was diagnosed with Depersonalization Disorder when I was 20. And my depersonalization only started when I started college, when everything changed in my life.. And never went away. It gets worse when I change environments. And you even describe seizure like activity like I have, too... getting overwhelmed seems to cause some type of absent seizure type activity. I understand everything you are talking about here. I was recently diagnosed as being on the Spectrum, and I'm 34.
Well said that you thought it was ‘self-originated’ thanks so much for stating that - that a deep anxiety disorder was actually sensory overload, and an adaptive shutdown- that is exactly it! Thank you sooooo much for that. My therapist doesn’t realize this
Thank you for helping me understand the sensory overloads my son is experiencing. Helpes a lot. ty
I've been typed as a HSP (Highly Sensitive Person). I can't be in busy places for too long because of all of the constant noise is hard to filter out. Anxiety kicks in before eventual panic attacks as I can't retreat to somewhere calmer--same for bright environments where I experience huge migraines. It took me a while to learn it's best for me to listen to music when I'm out and about. I prefer low light conditions.
As for the dreamy feeling. I know that feeling all too well. I'm a big gamer, so I always looked at it from the perspective of playing a first-person game--just with really cool graphics more than anything. Or lucid dreams...I love lucid dreams.
Think I remembered where I first to dissociated. I had a rough day in middle school, physical attack I think, and was walking home.
Punched in my ribs, but I wasn't really hurting - I'm normally hyper.. to pain...
That got me analyzing myself & environment, and I realized how distant everything felt, even my own body, thoughts, Marionette, etc. [see prev posts]
I don't know if it's Meditation's influence or aspects of that state, but I still feel sorta Marionette everyday - clumsy, etc..
finding your videos is a trip
It's interesting, I'm not on the spectrum (three doctors have confirmed this) but I can kind of relate. What you described with being in tune with sensations but not emotions is the exact opposite for me; I'm deeply in tune with emotions and can tell you in exact detail how I feel about a situation, but I have a hard time processing sensations (I sometimes overeat because I can't process that I'm full, for example).
Thank you, thank you thank you!!! I'm not alone. Thank you for letting me know it doesn't just happen to me.
Way I look at it is NT's "Feel" Emotions, I feel the Physical Affects of Emotions in my body. I know I'm stressed when I realize I'm relaxing my sholders, fear makes my muscles squeeze and spasm, nerves makes my stomach fill with butterflies and mess with my Thought Processing, etc..
I have experienced many times the dissociation feelings you described, and they appear in sensory overload times as well. I feel like im watching myself do things, and walking around the house can become a very strange experience. sometimes things that are far away feel really close, or my tv will feel like a movie theater screen. its almost like my depth perception is off. when it happens it typically only lasts for about 15 minutes. when people talk to me during it, they dont make sense to me
The problem with this disorder is its terrifying nature, an autistic horror, especially if it happens in a group making ASD folk feeling impossible to move, frozen, outside themselves under the weight of other people watching. So frightening this state of mind that you become very fearful it will happen again resorting to becoming obnoxious verbose or argumentative or my main tool solitude, oh blessed solitude!
glad you could relate! I also know the feeling, wanting to write everything out and not miss a detail :p
I feel more like an observer more so than a participant. I remember once going into darkness around people. I also had similar experiences while having to endure sitting in a classroom at school
That's definitely DESPERSONALIZATION, one of the symptoms that I have is the sound, it's like I'm inside a box and all the sound I hear is coming from outside the box, so the sound is bad and I can't define where is coming from exacly, what direction
I have Asperger's and know this to be the case with me.. like you are in a movie and have very little control .. so you get scared at times and freak out.. I get that kind of disassociation .. its part of the syndrome.. numbness, mind blindness.I get very afraid of noise, and it gets worse at night.. when I lie down my ears are so "tense" and sensitive. going out with people is very hard with me.(cant hide).
My doc prescribed anti-Ds but I just take the odd Xanax :(I am not in favor of drugs but I know they would help.. thanks. I have been doing the mindfulness meditation, seems to ease it off.
My doc also prescribed a drug called Buspirone which made me jittery.
Thx.
And for the record.. I'm 38, just diagnosed and still don't get emotions.. and to a lesser degree, still disassociate at times. Though since my emp broke me a year ago, I've been trying to live 'more genuine', live in the moment without falling back on acting, figure out who I am, etc...
Thanks for sharing, and yes I can describe almost the exact same things from experiences
Oh my gosh, this happened to me too. Not as severely as you are describing in this video. But I remember walking my dog and suddenly the trees almost seemed like unreal somehow, like digital, if that's the right word, like fake trees inside a game. This happened also before when I was looking at the sky and the clouds. I remember simply, almost switching off once. I was at the mall, my husband was going to pay for our parking ticket, we were standing at he machine, and we both dissociated at the same time. We only came to again when the lady behind us kindly asked if we were going to pay, or if she could go first.
My girlfriend experience exactly this. When we quarrel over things and we upset eachother she just shuts down. I feel sorry for her. It sounds scary. The worse part is that NT people don't always know about this. I didn't find out untill after we had hurt eachothers feelings and I had grasped her in despair, trying to make sense of why she would say these mean things and as she experienced her shutdown I was unaware of it at the time. Felt as if she was ignoring me. She has AS and I have Crohn's
Thank you for making this video ❤
Some of this hit home for me, I have a huge issue with feeling like nothing is real, relationships and general living, it just isn't real, most of the time is like that, I don't know why and I have just learned to deal with it, but I don't see snow or fuzzy so much, sometimes I struggle to tell whats real and whats not?
Amazing forms of perception. You should read some books on meta physics, lucid dreaming, quantum mechanics, astral projection and the concept of time. You can really use these skills to your advantage and discover, invent and create amazing things. You will come up with incredible ideas.
For me it feels like there is this mall or shopping center or whatever in my head which is supposed to be full of shoppers and staff, since it is a saturday afternoon or some other prime shopping time. But suddenly, no one is there, just me, and maybe a security guard who is locking doors and turning off lights. It is a terrible loneliness and helplessness, to have urgent shopping or sells or whichever role I am supposed to be playing in this scene to do but have only empty, darkening hallways. This especially happens when I'm put on the spot (or whatever the frase is), and realize I have no idea what to do or am under a time constraint to get things right the first time or otherwise feel like everyone is expecting something of me. Sometimes it happens randomly in mid conversation and I just sort of zone out. Oh, and also when someone is pestering me about something, like what my specific plans are, when I'm already stressed out. I have trouble saying anything at all, or end up repeating "I don't know" over and over. I also find it hard to form words and my speech gets super slow, like, one word at the time slow. Everything around me feels so far away and muted, but loud at the same time.
I mentioned these to my therapist, but she could only think of the dissociative disorder, which however would need to have more extreme feelings of absence, if I understood her correctly. Neither I nor she came to think that this could be an asperger's thing. It's been half a year since then, I think, and now we've started to look into the possibility that maybe that's what's been going on in my life, but only after I got diagnosed something else entirely first, which made me confused enough to start my own research online. UA-camrs like you and all the wonderful comments you get where people share their experiences have been a huge help in narrowing things down.
I am currently suffering the same symptoms and yesterday I found out that I am slightly on the autism spectrum
Thanks for sharing. I can relate to everything you mention.
What you describe is depersonalization. Ive done a lot of research on the subject. It's been years since ive suffered from depersonalization. Now i've learned for to dissociate only when i really need to on command. It has to do with over stimulation as well as unprocessed emotions. I found Shadow work (youtube Teal Swan) to be something that can certainly be of help. I've never been diagnosed with AS but i think I may be somewhere on the spectrum due to the way I think and am. Working through and processing the unresolved emotions i think may be the key.
That happens to me sometimes, especially when confronted with something very anxiety provoking rather than just overload. I wont talk or move.
..think I get what you mean.
This was over 2 decades ago, I've managed to handle myself a lot better since then. *pat* But I remember it being sorta like, hard to describe, a mix of B/W TV and Color TV. Colors where washed out and, yea.., I do remember the 'high contrast'. Walked most the way home watching my feet, to avoid looking at the sky.. It wasn't so much "Bright" (now my eyes have real issues with bright lights..), as the "Shiny Stuff drew my Focus".
Yup! I experience this. I have autism and have a lot of shutdowns. My dissociation is controlled by medication now though.
P.S. youre super cute!
Sounds very fimiliar.
I remember in my teens, walking along reflecting on myself after school, and realizing that I'd been feeling 'disassociated' for the past week solid! Looking back now; it wasn't solid, I'd sort of go in and out of it, like in and out of School (hmm?!? can't be any connection there..lol..), or when I'd get home as my mom was always in a bad mood..
Wow this is how I feel., have done for over 10 years , emotional stress overload I blame , I have tried various , alternative treatments but can't shake it off , keep going into a trance seeing the visual snow a lot and eyes blurrr up.abit ..
Jesus: You are describing how I felt during my "manic episodes" which began in 11th grade. And now I realize the way you describe how I felt I think has been all my life. I just never had words for it. I was diagnosed as "bipolar 1" after my first manic episode. By now I have figured out I likely actually have Aspergers. I would really like to talk to you more about what happened to me in my manic episode. Because what you have talked about is so close to how I felt during manic episodes. Everything had an intensity to it that made it seem almost not real. I started telling people "everything is fake." I strated maybe as consequence of this feeling to have some religious thoughts like "everything is fake so we must just be souls". And I was on a deep search for me "soul" which i felt was "lost"....there is so much more I would like to personally share with you. Is there a way I can contact you?
+Marianna Tsemekhman That happened to me this summer. I had just self-diagnosed myself with Asperger's after having researched it the entire week (stopping mostly for sleep), and one night I decided to write down what I had discovered. As I reflected, recalling my past experiences and seeing them in that new light, I found myself filled with gratitude for finally being able to understand. I wrote these things down, then went to bed. Early next day, I realized my sense-experience was radically different. I was sitting on a bench outside when suddenly the world around me became substantial, and significant, every detail of every thing vieing for my focus. It was like waking up from a dream and finally seeing the world as it was meant to be. Everything became exceedingly bright and richly colored, and I was aware of all the senses at once as if for the first time. It was like that for a week; boundless, grateful, no longer caring whether I was being weird, or feeling anxious about people, just reveling in it. I felt kind of like I'd been given a permanent trip, like mushrooms without the hallucination. It tapered off without a crash, but things hadn't gone back to the way it was before - I had just landed somewhere else new. Less spectacular, even more social anxiety than before. Now I often wish to experience it again.
I have had the same experience many times for long periods of time like weeks or months..but I forget about them. But i believe they are part of Gods plan. I have been thinking that if people with Autism are so sensitive maybe they do have empathy. Cuz my friends say I am nice.
Love
This disconnect happened to me last night after my 3rd night at the boardwalk in Wildwood. Actually the night before I decided to actually pay attention to my surroundings and immerse myself in it, and I got panicky and I got a bit overloaded and didn't want to go on any rides or talk really... Then like I said the next night I just became so disconnected from "me". Where normally I would almost "feed" off of the energy around me and have that affect me, it didn't happen. Wasn't uncomfortable,
I get that when I'm having Chronic Fatigue from Autism & or Information Overload or just TMI...A few things can cause that feeling...But yeah, it's like I'm not really awake & I'm not really asleep...Like everything I do is just oddly out of focus in a way that makes everything seem kinda dreamlike & fuzzy...I don't step outside of my body & watch myself do things like I'm a ghost who just died, but I get in this dreamlike, fuzzy state where the whole world & my body just seems super weird & fuzzy (like things kinda don't seem real, like a dream state) & things look like brighter & such & like I need glasses to see better all of a sudden. I can't really describe it...It's like I guess the feeling of heavy anesthesia & it having a super hard time or it taking forever (All day sometimes) for it to wear off...It's different, but I guess it's just a part of Autism & for me, being sick/ill allot of the time...I mean, I have Sensory Processing Disorder & at times even my Vestibular & Proprioceptive senses are sensitive...Those are the Proprioceptive: Being able to & knowing where your body is placed in the universe (Like knowing if a wall is too close or too far) & Vestibular: Balance & coordination...Some people are over sensitive to the 7 senses (Sight, taste, touch, smell, hearing, proproceptive & vestibular) & need less of whatever is too much information at the time...& some are under sensitive of the 7 senses & need more of whatever sense to feel less sick...Allot of people can be both over & under sensitive & it's common to have more than one sense not working at the same time. 😊😎😀🌞🌈🙏✌
It also can give my body a tingly sensation & other such bodily sensations...I also have Partial (confusion) Epilepsy with Autism & so if both things are messing with my information processing & understanding, well, it's an interesting feeling & experience to say the least. 😎
or comfortable, I just had no emotion. In fact the word "nothing" comes to mind. I looked through people like they were nothing, I had no motivation to look around, or interact with my environment, no did I have any "motivation" to speak any louder than a quiet, calm talk. And for the next 2 hours or so until we left I went from that to just being quiet. Also, for some reason, I feel like I need this sweatshirt I'm wearing like a kid needs a blanket... I guess it comforted me before, it's weird
Yes the state for me helped in this regard, but it's not as positive as you hope it to be. It was like being under the influence of some drug, a kind of ego death, there is not much of you left. It was basically trading one issue for another. It got me through university, but on the inside it was very intense. I thought it was some kind of brain damage.
This is a very good description. Were the pale colours very bright? I don't know if I would call it bright in the literal sense, but they blocked other things out. It's like someone was playing with the contrast of a television, and I would feel this pressure in my eyes. I felt like my pupils were going extremely pin-point and I squinted.
I've felt this same way before (the Depersonalization), going to sleep at night I'd feel like the wall's where closing in on me, I used to feel like I was being rocked to sleep by my bed at times too, I've just plain felt not real at times too, because it feels weird to me to try & grasp the feeling of being in a body & looking out at my body in the mirror, so as you can imagine me looking out at others in their body it's hard for me to grasp that they are in their's too, I sometimes feel.......
I got this in a noisy concert, it was very loud that I couldn’t stand it anymore then once I got up I felt that I was looking in 2D, I tried to move my eyes to different directions but I couldn’t, I was seeing everything in the same time but blurred, I don’t have depression at all, I don’t take medication as well so I think it is sensory overload
Nice observation with the depth perception - there is often this shrinking and growing visual effect. How far back did you start feeling the dissociation?
When I try to remember a "melt down" everything seems "bright". I am embarrassed because I can't remember how I acted or why it happened. But is does come when there is a lack of structure and/or there is a lot of "meaningful noise" (noise that grab your attention). I know that I tend to have a hyper focus on the task that I fail to notice the social cues around me.
I been trying to explain this to Drs, people for a long time.
like maybe I have when into a coma & am dreaming all this, I have also full blown dissociated during a meltdown before, I didn't remember anything until we got to my Sensory Integration Therapy appointment & she had me swinging on the platform swing with the light turned off & a little light coming in from the hallway, I had a weighted blanket on me, so yes, I know what you are talking about here.
I feel a lot like that a lot however it doesn’t rlly leave, I’m in quarantine and the feeling is still there, it’s gotten a kinda worse. I’m not sure what’s wrong
I hope you're doing well
My head becomes a disco inside of a day-glo casino as it's shoved over a cliff into a pit of fire.
I see minuscule dots on everything if I try like everything is made of them
I relate to the dream feeling.
i have the same feeling
Hi guys, have a question - does your sensory integration improves during dissociation ? Well, I understand, at the beginning every single noise can freak you out. But after some time in this ,if you 'handle' it, stimuli doesn't "surprise" you any more and you can detach from you homogeneous stream of thoughts to stop focusing on details and 'see a big picture'.
Anyone has had a similar experience ?
It used to happen sometimes when i was a little kid (like age 7 and on) but i didnt know what it was.
I have noticed a sensation of sensory overload whenever I take stimulants. My mind seems to go absolutely nuts and I have difficulty understanding basic concepts. Soon after, I experience what many would describe and depersonalization. Strangely, when I take a stimulant with my glasses off(I have pretty shitty vision), I suddenly feel a calm sense of clarity and focus without these symptoms. Have you experienced a sensory overload after taking a stimulant?
I see the snow also.
Do you ever get visual stress and have sensitivity to light and have you ever worn coulered glasses to block sensory overload out?
Depersonalizations and derealization. DPDR it's the brains way of protecting itself when it becomes too overloaded by stress.
If given 2,700 to 3,000 characters, a longer response on feeling 3rd rather than 1st person would be preferred, but alas 500 is my limit and making multiple posts for the same point is extremely irritating. Basically, certain (and many, unfortunately) pitches/frequencies sights/smells and stimuli initiate a potential meltdown and I must escape or the source must cease/leave. If neither happen, I grow silent and don't respond, but the sounds intensify and I'm trapped within, and fear for others.
ugh I am so sorry- these sound horrible! I occasionally get stress induced overloads and just can't deal with anything- I think its different than ones related to Autism and Aspergers but similar to what you're saying. Just remember you can do this : )
I am sensitive to this feeling when I have had too little sleep.
That would probably be an issue for me, IF I drove. There is some difficulty in that department :p
How are you with driving at night? I find all the lights very overwhelming, and it's really hard for me to change lanes when someone's light is shining into the mirror, I can't tell if they're far or close.
I have the same issues at night, HiGh CoNtRaSt! = High Anxiety (M.B. Ref)...
I have sensitive eyes, and they've gotten more sensitive as I get older..
I wear dark sunglasses during the day at all times, inside often even (Wally World is a Bright, Colorful, Overstocked Hell.. ..forgot Noisy..*sigh*).. I have several shades or levels..
Don't tell the Police [ ;~} ], but I've started wearing my LIGHTER GRADIENT shades at night (REALLY does help!)
Q: Do the new Traffic LEDs Bug You? RGY?
I used to get flashes of matrix style "Chinese' script constantly scribbled and then erased
What you say about the seizure feeling. I also feel like it is seizure like when I dissociate. Like when you experience a jump scare. Also, according to my mom, I had a really strong scare reflex as a baby. Anyone recognise this?
World felt distant, 2 dimensional and a wash in pale colors, sounds scents, even touch felt 'distant', even my vision felt distant.. I felt something near emotionless. ..even Star Trek (Original) was 'Ho-Humm' to watch!?! :~{
I wasn't depressed, not even bored, more Blasé..
to me it feels like i'm not connected to my body and like im possessing this body and looking at limbs that don't seem to be mine.
Do you have other social media, like facebook? What´s your name?
To everyone watching this or maybe will catch this comment. Please, hear me out. Some of you may be suffering from some sort of medical issue, that may be true. But please look into some of the lifting of consciousness in society right now. I've suffered from most of these things in my life. I've been able to overcome them by studying the rate of consciousness in society right now. You are gifted, amazing people with "ADD", "ADHD" (my family refers to these as Attention Dialed into a Higher Dimension), the symptoms listed in this video can also be found in the ASTENTION SYMPTOM videos on here. Look at them please. You are not damaged, you are here to help raise the consciousness level. There are so many things happening right now. Look at a guy named Matt Muckelroy's page (I think that's how it's spelled), and you'll hear videos that will resonate with a lot of you. Some of you may actually have autism, but you don't have to believe it's a deficiency. Learn to use it. It's like any psychic gift, hard to live with but an ultimate blessing if you can see the good in it. And yes, I do know a few people diagnosed with autism. One of them travels around the world, is a well known artist, and helps the needy along the way with his beautiful wife. His life is nothing short of extraordinary and I've always been a little jealous of him. 😉 Congratulations on your accomplishments Corey. 💓
So... in short, it feels autistic?
This is me
I've felt this way since 4. A big observer. Your lack of ability to identify emotions is alexithymia.. inability to understand your many emotions at one time. I use empathy to mske decisions. So i make dscison on how i interpret others.. which being autistic Im not always getting it right
Wirelessly connected to some other persons. Artifacts to your senses.
You describe it very well. Thank you for sharing your personal experience with us.
I had overloads with certain scents or smells. And I cannot like a person if they smell a certain way. And I can not go into the sun often, it is far too bright and I just shut down.