I consider myself a pretty girl. But I am always alone and I have severe social anxiety. So, not so ''pretty'' after all. Confidence has nothing to do with looks. It has everything to do with personality. People should believe me, because it's true.
I agree with u I've seen ppl who r very good looking yet have zero confidence, while on the other hand theres ppl who r really ugly and yet have tons of confidence
I agree, my issue has more to do with confidence than physical appearance, just like you. But hey, whatever the reason is, there is no reason for you have severe social anxiety, because you are valuable and unique, and plenty of people out there would want to get to know you. So good luck with your endeavors!
i agree with u im similar in that i think i look good as a boy but the anxiety really messes with my chances to meet and make friends or even find a girlfriend.
Don't try to impress people.. don;t make people like you. LOVE YOURSELF and live your natural life. Don't care what people I mean anybody talk or think about you. . Self love is the KEY
Keyser Soze Thats the exact opposite of being a people pleaser, but extremes are never a solution. Adapt, practice intelligence, be polite, respectful, but don´t let people walk all over you. Be a challenge.
many people with social anxiety are highly sensitive to other peoples energies. i.e. they pick their judgements , fears, etc. as if they are their own.
Nah, thats not "picking up on energies" that's your mind trying to read THEIR mind, and come up with a quick conclusion. Not knowing what people think is scary, the idea is to try and let go of that.
I'm so weird, outside of school and at parties I'm super awkward to the point that I literally start shaking from how nervous I am, but then at school I'm completely relaxed and I can engage in conversation with anyone, im so confused lol
It's just like he says in the video. School is your everyday life, your comfort zone, even when there are strangers. But outside of school, you might feel inferior to others because you're not comfortable. I used to have this exact same contradiction when I decided to glow up. Which means in the inside I never healed from my anxiety
IF YOU SAY "I AM WEIRD" THAN YOU WILL BE WEIRD. IF YOU SAY "I AM NORMAL" THAN YOU WILL BE NORMAL. PROBABLY SOMEONE FROM YOUR FAMILY (FATHER OR MOTHER) WAS A BAD ONE AND MADE YOU FEEL UNWANTED.
Don't take this in a weird way, but I find you to be attractive and for this specific video, it seems to help due to eye contact. I usually cant make eye contact with attractive people, in fear of the person I'm talking to will become disgusted and see what I see in myself after making eye contact for so long. So what I'm trying to say is, since you cant actually see me, but still make eye contact with the camera, it helps me get used to looking attractive people in the eyes. If that even makes sense. aha.
I dont feel social anxiety around attractive people because I value them. I feel SA around most EVERYBODY (not only attractive, confident people), BECAUSE of the expectation of pain (psychological/physical) mainly. I even feel judged by PETS. XD. Also because I have an aversion to certain kinds of physical looks due to not very nice childhood occurrences and probably because of media brain wash. Also seeing myself as not belonging, as an outgroup, and humans tend to dislike what what is different from themselves. It has more to do with shame and self esteem, than valuing others. Its more ingroup/outgroup/rejection thing for me.
I'm actually the cutest boy in my class and all the girls in there like me but I shy to talk to the cute girls. I know they like me because they tell me or I usually hear from others.
Great video, I really needed to hear this. I am often acting very inhibited around "high value" people because of the reasons you mentioned in this video. Really good point about being sure about the thing you say or do, and not acting awkward when doing it.
Sean you really made me laugh this morning haha, Yesterday I was listening to the system practicing the breathing technique and fell asleep with the headphones in my ears, then I woke up this morning and the system was still rolling, and then I heard you saying something like: "Remember, the conversation has not to be flowing all the time with good lines, not even in hollywood movies do they have great lines and flowing even the actors in a movie sometimes doesn't have much to say" hahaha... i was like damn we who suffer SA really think sometimes that we ough the people something during a conversation like we need to keep the words just coming smoothly haha
Good job with these videos. I think it's smart to increase your exposure in the UA-cam scene, lots of potentional viewership here. I can see you're also getting more comfortable talking to a camera now, you appear quite natural.
Keep going Sean! You're making great progress for all of us shy types! Just a small tip mind: condense your videos (edit or write a more concise script). It's great explaining with relatable experience but 15 minute videos can wear out most attention spans. Good luck!
Man, I really hate to make this point but what he's talking about is "leveling" Where you try to level others beneath yourself. That's text book bullying. You might not be as verbal about it as a highschool kid but if communication is 90% body language it'll still get across that way.
Feeling EQUAL to your peers does not imply you're dragging them BENEATH you. He explains it well in his e-book, and why dragging other people down never works - it simply confirms your lack of self value. What he talks about in this video is to not rate yourself beneath other. Big difference!
thanks you so much bro ! was of real help to me , im a handsome looking guy , good academically , have a lot of talents and am an outstanding dancer ( stage performer ) inspite of all this i faced nervousness around people, always knew that i was going to fuck it up with everyone but now i will keep your tips in mind and see how my life changes awesomely
I honestly don't know where to start. From the start, you grabbed my attention because I really felt that every characteristic you spoke of applied to me and it just made me deep stuff about myself😅Can you believe I thought I was self-actualised lolz. I'm also a psychology student and I wholeheartedly agree with what you are saying and love how you presented it. Thank you👏🏾👏🏾
yoga helps immensely for helping to manage high sensitivity. however, if u feel like u pick up other people's emotions just by walking into a room, research more inyo highly sensitive persons or empaths
Can the environment bring out your social anxiety too? Because I feel more safe when I hang out with people on my spare time and I feel less social akward around ''attractive people''. btw good video keep it up and I wish you more Subscribers :)
People in the comments stop bashing and criticizing your SA like its a bad thing... dang yea i suffer from it to but its not bad or good its just different and Yea Its harrrrd because I dont know how to manage it sometimes but bring yourself / others down isnt going to fix anything
dude..his tips are most practical..what else do you want look for counterexamples instead of always self-improvement, be sure of yourself and don't give too many fucks over someone. whats so complex in these 3 points ?
I consider myself a pretty girl. But I am always alone and I have severe social anxiety.
So, not so ''pretty'' after all.
Confidence has nothing to do with looks. It has everything to do with personality.
People should believe me, because it's true.
I agree with u I've seen ppl who r very good looking yet have zero confidence, while on the other hand theres ppl who r really ugly and yet have tons of confidence
I can relate to this so much!
I agree, my issue has more to do with confidence than physical appearance, just like you. But hey, whatever the reason is, there is no reason for you have severe social anxiety, because you are valuable and unique, and plenty of people out there would want to get to know you. So good luck with your endeavors!
river water
I TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU
i agree with u im similar in that i think i look good as a boy but the anxiety really messes with my chances to meet and make friends or even find a girlfriend.
Don't try to impress people.. don;t make people like you. LOVE YOURSELF and live your natural life. Don't care what people I mean anybody talk or think about you. . Self love is the KEY
Keyser Soze Thats the exact opposite of being a people pleaser, but extremes are never a solution. Adapt, practice intelligence, be polite, respectful, but don´t let people walk all over you. Be a challenge.
If you actually love yourself, you dont destroy yourself. have some self respect in your health.
It's easy to say but hard to do
@dof he no, that's hurting yourself.
many people with social anxiety are highly sensitive to other peoples energies. i.e. they pick their judgements , fears, etc. as if they are their own.
Nah, thats not "picking up on energies" that's your mind trying to read THEIR mind, and come up with a quick conclusion. Not knowing what people think is scary, the idea is to try and let go of that.
I'm so weird, outside of school and at parties I'm super awkward to the point that I literally start shaking from how nervous I am, but then at school I'm completely relaxed and I can engage in conversation with anyone, im so confused lol
Andrés Lladó Are you a Gemini?
Andrés Lladó What does being Gemini have to do with it?
@@danv9427 XD
It's just like he says in the video. School is your everyday life, your comfort zone, even when there are strangers. But outside of school, you might feel inferior to others because you're not comfortable. I used to have this exact same contradiction when I decided to glow up. Which means in the inside I never healed from my anxiety
IF YOU SAY "I AM WEIRD" THAN YOU WILL BE WEIRD. IF YOU SAY "I AM NORMAL" THAN YOU WILL BE NORMAL. PROBABLY SOMEONE FROM YOUR FAMILY (FATHER OR MOTHER) WAS A BAD ONE AND MADE YOU FEEL UNWANTED.
Don't take this in a weird way, but I find you to be attractive and for this specific video, it seems to help due to eye contact. I usually cant make eye contact with attractive people, in fear of the person I'm talking to will become disgusted and see what I see in myself after making eye contact for so long. So what I'm trying to say is, since you cant actually see me, but still make eye contact with the camera, it helps me get used to looking attractive people in the eyes. If that even makes sense. aha.
Annabella Lothamer Well, thank you. You're pretty cute too.
💜
Confident people scare me
I dont feel social anxiety around attractive people because I value them. I feel SA around most EVERYBODY (not only attractive, confident people), BECAUSE of the expectation of pain (psychological/physical) mainly. I even feel judged by PETS. XD. Also because I have an aversion to certain kinds of physical looks due to not very nice childhood occurrences and probably because of media brain wash. Also seeing myself as not belonging, as an outgroup, and humans tend to dislike what what is different from themselves. It has more to do with shame and self esteem, than valuing others. Its more ingroup/outgroup/rejection thing for me.
I agree
Liz Torres I also felt judged by everyone. But then I suddenly stopped giving a shit, and my anxiety gradually went away.
Lol I got barked at by a dog in a passing car today. Just one loud firm bark. "Loser!" 😕
My dog told me that the dress you wore last week didnt suit you
Same
I'm actually the cutest boy in my class and all the girls in there like me but I shy to talk to the cute girls. I know they like me because they tell me or I usually hear from others.
@Charlie Hillebrandt its been 2yrs but does it work?
5 years, how is itt
Great video, I really needed to hear this. I am often acting very inhibited around "high value" people because of the reasons you mentioned in this video. Really good point about being sure about the thing you say or do, and not acting awkward when doing it.
Probably the best advice i've heard in awhile
The self esteem issues we have are not only bc physical appareance. Wish they were...
Sean you really made me laugh this morning haha,
Yesterday I was listening to the system practicing the breathing technique and fell asleep with the headphones in my ears, then I woke up this morning and the system was still rolling, and then I heard you saying something like: "Remember, the conversation has not to be flowing all the time with good lines, not even in hollywood movies do they have great lines and flowing even the actors in a movie sometimes doesn't have much to say" hahaha... i was like damn we who suffer SA really think sometimes that we ough the people something during a conversation like we need to keep the words just coming smoothly haha
wow this really makes sense. Im learning my situation a lot more the more i watch your videos
Great videos, but I wish you would get to the point quicker
kottonkandyx Really, I happened to like that about it lolz
Good job with these videos. I think it's smart to increase your exposure in the UA-cam scene, lots of potentional viewership here. I can see you're also getting more comfortable talking to a camera now, you appear quite natural.
sean great vids i can relate to a lot of things you mention, but one of my problems is that im scared of bonding with people
It was in my recommendation for so long ,i gave up and watched it ... thanks for the Advices ! Ur great. Keep doing what ur doing
Keep going Sean! You're making great progress for all of us shy types! Just a small tip mind: condense your videos (edit or write a more concise script). It's great explaining with relatable experience but 15 minute videos can wear out most attention spans. Good luck!
You explain everything i ever had an issue with so well! Thankyou!
Man, I really hate to make this point but what he's talking about is "leveling" Where you try to level others beneath yourself. That's text book bullying. You might not be as verbal about it as a highschool kid but if communication is 90% body language it'll still get across that way.
Feeling EQUAL to your peers does not imply you're dragging them BENEATH you. He explains it well in his e-book, and why dragging other people down never works - it simply confirms your lack of self value.
What he talks about in this video is to not rate yourself beneath other. Big difference!
thanks you so much bro ! was of real help to me , im a handsome looking guy , good academically , have a lot of talents and am an outstanding dancer ( stage performer ) inspite of all this i faced nervousness around people, always knew that i was going to fuck it up with everyone but now i will keep your tips in mind and see how my life changes awesomely
I honestly don't know where to start. From the start, you grabbed my attention because I really felt that every characteristic you spoke of applied to me and it just made me deep stuff about myself😅Can you believe I thought I was self-actualised lolz. I'm also a psychology student and I wholeheartedly agree with what you are saying and love how you presented it. Thank you👏🏾👏🏾
Thank you
yoga helps immensely for helping to manage high sensitivity. however, if u feel like u pick up other people's emotions just by walking into a room, research more inyo highly sensitive persons or empaths
I like how you became a social scientist making experiments just using your own reactions and perceptions in situations that’s a really smart idea
This is 100% spot on.
I feel shallow by thinking that way
this hit home! lol thanks
How can I Thank you
Well done Sean great presentation.
Super helpful video! You help inspire my last video on how to be less awkward.
this was quite good. They need to put you on tedtalks
Thanks Sean. These 3 things were a great reminder!
Your content is genuine ,thanks for the vedio
You are so perceptive and real. Thank you Sir.
Your video is really very helpful... thanks
Can the environment bring out your social anxiety too? Because I feel more safe when I hang out with people on my spare time and I feel less social akward around ''attractive people''.
btw good video keep it up and I wish you more Subscribers :)
5:43 "Most people look pretty much average." - the more you know...
thank you. You're wise beyond your years.
Great video!!
Thanks man, very helpful video :))
People in the comments stop bashing and criticizing your SA like its a bad thing... dang yea i suffer from it to but its not bad or good its just different and Yea Its harrrrd because I dont know how to manage it sometimes but bring yourself / others down isnt going to fix anything
Conclusion of this video. Buy his book.
SOUNDS LIKE ME 🙄
im your fan now!!!
You get me 😭
cool video sean cooper
Has any of this changed for you? If yes, how so?
Easier said than done
So, "As a man THINKS in his heart, so is he". That's biblical.
He is Nick Vujicic, no arms no legs.
this guy is saying what to do but not HOW!. Doesnt helps me a bit!.
this guys tips are pretty solid. but watch self actualized's channek if u want more in depth explanations n tips
dude..his tips are most practical..what else do you want
look for counterexamples instead of always self-improvement, be sure of yourself and don't give too many fucks over someone.
whats so complex in these 3 points ?
WHO DISLIKED THIS?!?!?! Why would someone do that to THIS video.....so sad. Great tips though Sean!
I wouldn't say that they are 'less valuable' than the popular/attractive people
I AM NOT AN AVERAGE PERSON, I AM VERY ATTRACTIVE BUT STILL I AM WATCHING THIS VIDEO.