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accepting my separation + new routines + making soap
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- Опубліковано 9 лют 2023
- I'm finally accepting that I'm really separated from my husband, so I'm creating new routines for living on my own. Plus, I'm making some rose heart-shaped shaving soaps.
HOW TO SUPPORT ME
▶ Buy Me a Coffee - www.buymeacoffee.com/lifeplus...
Donate $2 or more to support me and the channel at the link above. Thank you!
▶ Donate on PayPal - paypal.me/lifepluscindy
▶ Llewellyn's 2023 Magical Almanac (For Incense and Color of the Day) - amzn.to/3iQFdBD
CONTACT ME
Cindy L.
1411 Highway 50 W
1059
Pueblo, CO 81008
Email: lifepluscindy@gmail.com
Blog: lifepluscindy.com/
![ЛЕБЕДЕВ у ДУДЯ: муху не обманешь 😁 [Пародия]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/E74h5fvVrqs/mqdefault.jpg)
Just remember you aren’t alone in this Cindy. You have a community who loves and accepts you
Midnight Cas If y’all want to support her, quite babying her n tell her the truth. She’s always the victim, as long as she plays that over n over n her head she will believe it. She is manipulating her husband way too much, she needs to give him space and just show him only with actions which is going to be sometime for her to get her sh.t together. She takes advantage of him, and she most definitely does not need to be bringing a child in this world, that is very selfish most of all.
i think staying in that house with your pets and familiar things is a better decision than you’ll ever know. mature and stable until you’re ready for the next step!
I agree, I’m very glad that Cindy was able to find it in her to stay. I can’t even imagine how difficult it must be being there, but I feel like she made the better choice.
I agree, sometimes leaving all the memories behind cause you to be able to not heal and just leave everything behind and not process the trauma
Agreed! I'm so proud of her for the little steps she's taking, and when her mind is healthier she will feel the benefits of sticking around, hopefully 😊 I'm just so proud of her at this moment!
When my husband and I were separated for 6 months, it was really rough. He had a lot of stuff to work through and help to get. We couldn’t live together and my therapist suggested that I was his crutch. As long as he had me, he most likely wouldn’t change anything. They suggested that we even take a break, not talk or see each other for a while. It was one of the hardest things because we both didn’t want to do that. But we did, he ended up making huge strides and it kickstarted us moving back in together. It was worth it though, once we moved back in together, we went to marriage counseling once a week for a whole course. We still have our problems, but that initial stuff, that’s all taken care of. It can happen Cindy, it’s hard but worth it. Even if you don’t get back together, working on yourself is the best thing.
hey Cindy! sorry if this is overstepping, but something I found helped me with impulsive messages/purchases (due in part to my adhd+bpd) was to wait until the morning. I never buy things or send passionate messages past about 5pm nowadays and it's helped me overcome the impulses. Our minds are a lot clearer in the morning and it helps me to reflect on if I'm making a reasonable and sensible decision. I hope your new routines help you to flourish again and feel better about things soon, I'm rooting for ya!
This!!! This is so important and it REALLY works!
This is such a good idea. I struggle with impulsiveness too and I think this is something I really need to try.
thank you for this suggestion.
Omg such a great idea and will help me also, thank you for sharing!
thank you for this, really. i’m going to start taking this into consideration now.
Girl u got this, make us proud!
She doesn’t need to make anyone proud. She needs to look after herself, with zero expectations from others.
Cindy; you don’t need to make ANYONE proud. You do you; and whatever that takes to heal. You don’t need ANYTHING from anyone.
Major life adjustments are incredibly hard. I so admire your honesty and generosity. Thank you for sharing a piece of your life with us. We are all rooting for you!
I seperated from my partner last April and struggled for a long time with accepting the loss of my future, my goals and my comfort, so I know all too well how this feels, and I myself have had to battle and contend with my biggest enemy, myself and my mental health.
The road to growth and prosperity is sometimes being forced and thrown right into the thick of it solo.
This will be hard, undoubtedly, and you know this, but we are made of sterner stuff than we could ever imagine. You got this - keep going, keep fighting and keep growing.
You can do this alone.
Everything in this life is cruel and unfair, but we continue to grow and develop with each and every hurdle the marathon of life throws at us.
Keep up with therapy, reach out to loved ones and focus everything you have on this fight.
Whether or not you and Andrew decide to rekindle things, you must keep going with this fight. I love you, I'm always thinking of you, I'm keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
You can kick BUTT! Also, I know you are a member of the FFXIV community - so if you ever feel alone and unable to get out and socialise or be a "human being" in society, then that community is always there to welcome you home with open arms. I am part of this community, and I know you are not currently spending your time with video games, etc., but an escape is always crucial in this fight. Your life must have something to escape to, discover old hobbies/enjoyment. Discover you again!
I'm so glad you're making routines for yourself! Glad to see an upload! Your strength to adapt and change is insanely inspiring. Keep trying Cindy you got this!💕
Im so proud of you Cindy. Staying was for sure the better choice, you got this. Also maybe try playing some sims again if you're in the mood for it? I know how happy the sims made you once and you dont have to stream or anything! You could put some good music on in the background or a movie
Learning to be your own person can be hard, but when you learn it it feels really fucking good. Nothing is able to stop you. No one can influence you any more. You become a free person.
“I put collagen in my coffee, I don’t know if it does anything” me, about the majority of shit I do
Glad therapy was ok, hopefully you will not be as anxious about the next session x
Hope it helps 🙏
I'm so glad you're making progress even if it's little by little. Just keep being honest to yourself and no matter what happens you'll learn from this experience!
Hey Cindy, I'm so glad to see you post hope your therapy went well. Love how you can have a smile on your face even not in the greatest times we love you Cindy cant wait to watch this video! 😁
every update you give i’m just more and more proud of you! it’s hard to see it when you’re in it, but you’re making really good progress with these early steps, and it’s absolutely wonderful to see 💕
i wholeheartedly agree.
Cindy, you're already making progress! I was so surprised by your recent videos and honestly I couldn't keep myself from crying, but even then I knew that you'd be only going up. now I see so much hope and potential, you're such a brave and strong person. it's not the moments of weakness that define us, it's how we deal with them, and you're dealing with them amazingly! im hoping that therapy will be going great and that you sort everything out, you're an amazing person and I wish you all the best
I'm so happy your Therapy went so well, separation is not bad you can still be married but not be together in the same house but I'm very proud of what you have been doing
So proud of you Cindy!!
You are incredible! Look at all of you’ve done with this time. When my ex left me, I went through the same shift of realizing how I self sabotaged every relationship I’ve had. I put myself into group therapy on top of my one on one so I didn’t feel so alone. I’m 2 years out of that relationship bc unfortunately I had done so much damage there was no going back, but I am the healthiest and most independent, self loving version of myself I’ve ever been. I hope and pray nothing but amazing things for you Cindy. And you’ve made such healthy progress already. I was a lump in my bed for almost a month when I went through my last break up. You are a super woman!! We love you. You inspire me all the time ❤️
i've been thinking of you non-stop, haven't clicked on an upload so fast. sending you so much love Cindy. 💜
those soaps girlie !! I swear you could rival lush if you made your own company! 💕 you're making inspiring steps, you from a week ago would be so excited to see the healing that's gone on!
Awww Cindy progress is always slow but you’ll see how happy and content you’ll become knowing you’re getting the help you need. One step at a time. 😊
You got this girly we are all here for you
Cindy, your hair is looking so healthy and long!! I am glad to see that you’re continuing to move forward and that therapy went well for you. ♥️
Girl we are in the same boat. I’m 42 and learning how to love myself and become independent. There are days where I feel great and empowered and others that it’s a struggle. I found that when having any negative feeling or thought I imagine opening a door and shoving it through and closing it to let it go and not let it affect me. You are worth so much and I’m so proud of you and what you’ve accomplished. I know it may not seem like much but even the littlest steps are huge in the long run. Also a couple of channels I love that help me is Attract Passion and Abraham Hicks. Learning to be inlove with myself has been the hardest but most rewarding experience I have ever gone through. We’ll get there togethers 😊🤗
I've not watched you in awhile and your hair has made tremendous progress. I see lots of thickness and healthy shine! Beautiful!
Remember to try & get some sleep tonight, Cindy. I know you're probably anxious & excited to see & talk to Andrew tomorrow & I'm so happy for you. :)
So glad to hear you 1st therapy session went well, and we love a supportive sister everybody needs one
One thing that has helped me a lot with my BPD and anxiety is watching workout videos on Netflix. Nike has some and they have workouts and yoga! At first I hated it , but now I’m getting the hand of jt and I’m even getting the urge to challenge myself more. Anyway, you are looking much much better and I think it’s amazing how you’ve been able to get out of bed and do everything you are doing. That’s probably the impossible difficulty challenge and you are nailing it. Congratulations, Cindy! 💕
Glad you have your sister and happy to see you stay and not rush things! One day at a time! 💛
Be strong for all of us Cindy ♥️ I’m living for your wellness journey
i love your handwriting. reminds me a lot of what mine has turned into. idk what it is Cindy. i feel weirdly connected to you at this time. thank you for sharing your life with us.
you can get through this, girl. you're so strong💟 one step at a time.
you got this Cindy! Living alone is honestly not that bad. Enjoying your own company is amazing
Also, if you have bad experiences with therapists don't give up on it. Sometimes you just gotta go to multiple people to find the right person, and it might literally make a significant difference in your life if you don't give up on therapy. I hope you'll only have good experiences obviously!!
I am so glad that you posted today, you look better and better everyday, and I am so happy for the way you are handling this. You are so strong ❤
I really do hope you and your sister get the healing and support y’all need ❤
my daughter was loosing lots of hair, shedding ..we found out she had a vit D deficiency ..started taking lots of vit D and lo and behold her hair has started to thicken and has stopped shedding..castor oil thickens hair very well also.
hi Cindy
keeping you in my thoughts,glad to see you doing a little better every day 🌿
Your soaps look amazing ! I'm glad to see you looking a little bit better and taking care of yourself ❤
Glad to see you’re okay! You got this! ❤
I don’t think you give yourself enough credit with your reflections. The way you admit you have to accept things is very brave. We are with you! ❤️
Sending all my love and positive energy to you🖤😘
Sending you so much love! Your strength is admirable. Keep going🫶🏻
Awww your dogs are always full of love and adorable, i like the sound of their little nails on the floor hahaha. Sending you hugs! Try to do things that make you feel better 💜
I am so happy to hear it went well, I know you were a nervous wreck about those intros, but you are a kind, super interesting person and your problems are not as bad as you see them in your self doubt. We all love you very much and sending all the good vibes and prayers your way. You got this!
Thank you for sharing your day with us! Congrats on starting some fresh, new routines!
your planner is super cute!!!
i am so proud of u for taking the necessary steps to better yourself 💕
I use a daily planner like the one you use for to-do’s as a small daily journal. I don’t get to it every day, but the days I do get to write out are fun to look back on
I’m so happy you posted Cindy! Sending you lots of love ❤️
So happy to see you posted! I was refreshing all day yesterday!
I’m sooo happy that you’re uploading Cindy, all love to you!
Watching you making progress is wonderful. I’m hoping for nothing but the best for you.
Your advice saved my hair! the rosemary and boars bristle brush has made my hair so nice and soft
Cindy your handwriting is so beautiful!!!!
Ah man it's so good to see you putting energy into you! I'm still rooting for you guys but I really think this time to focus on your independence will benefit you either way. What I would say is I can see your energy in the morning fade through the day. I know night times are rough, when me and my wife split I was the exact same. Having things to focus on through the day and the quieter nights hit hard. What helped me was keeping busy (with anything, colouring, TV or bugger jobs) really helped to literally exhaust myself so I could fall asleep easier. If you're lying in bed pondering on things just give into the awakeness and go do something then try again. At this stage it's all about distraction, even if it's only a tiny part of your brain distracted. Things will get better, look how much progress you've made in just a few days. You've got this and we're here with you ❤️
💜 you Cindy. Thank you for including us on this journey with you. We will support you every step of the way.
all the love, cindy!! sending good energies to you
Taking walks again is a great step! I think taking that energy from writing the love letters could be channeled into creative writing. I hope you continue to take the steps to heal and look after yourself ❤
Baby steps Cindy!! So proud of you, sending love❤️❤️❤️
So happy you're journaling again and keeping a daily plan. Now you'll see what you're accomplishing. You've gotten a lot done today again! Good job!
You are doing awesome Cindy, so happy for you taking steps to heal. Wishing you all the best, always ❤️
You’re doing so good, I’m really proud of you! You actually inspired me to look into and ask about a local/virtual group therapy for some of my own trauma. I’m already in individual weekly therapy but you made me realize group therapy would be helpful for me too.
We love you so much! Your community is here for you and cares a lot! Thinking of you daily this week and sending all my love and good healing vibes.
I love the heart shape soaps 😍
You’re doing so well Cindy. It will get better. I believe that it’s going to be okay between you and Andrew. Wishing you best of luck. Please check your e-mail when you have a chance, I sent you something important
I bought the krups 5-cup coffee maker on amazon and I love it!! That's great that your getting started with therapy, I hope it's helpful 💕 thanks for keeping all of us updated
So sorry to know it's a downer day, hopefully the next one is better! You're doing great with whatchu got on your plate. Sending love from NC!!!!
you’re working so hard and making strides already, we’re all so proud of you Cindy ❤️❤️❤️❤️ sending love ❤️❤️
For your hair growth you should also use grape seed oil, it helps strengthen your hair and also promotes growth ❤
I'm glad to see you taking steps to help yourself with a daily routine and journaling. I'm also happy to hear that your therapy session went well! We're rooting for you!
Also your soap looks sooooo cute! I kinda want to make my own.
You've got this, Cindy. Even when it doesn't feel like it. 💜
You are so inspiring, Cindy. I love your honesty and your willingness to become the best version of yourself. I really really hope that a bunch of happy events are awaiting you, just around the corner 🥰
I very recently had to leave my partner and these help me so much, I can't even explain. I feel like I may also have BPD, so this just makes me feel like im not alone and crazy. It's like I'm hanging out with a friend.
Also, I literally jump every time my phone goes off too. It's always the hardest right when I wake up and right when I'm trying to go to sleep. I wish I could give you a big ole' hug.
Also, also! Those soaps are so adorable, keep doing what makes you feel happy and human!
I love your soaps, and that they're shaped like hearts, you put a lot of love into them and yourself today so well done
If you’re still having troubles sleeping, I suggest Lemon Balm! I started steeping loose leaf lemon balm with my tea and it makes me sleep HARD (I battle with insomnia)
I’m so incredibly proud of you and look forward to watching your content moving forward. I support this journey of growth and know that you have a community backing you up and rooting for your happiness
Everyday may not be perfect, far from it, but the effort you are giving proves you’re willingness to change. You’re so strong and powerful!🎉
We're all so proud of you Cindy, you got this!! I'm so happy to see you're doing better ❤️
I love the smell of roses. Sending good vibes to you, Cindy 💌♥ Maybe if you need something to help you wind down or distract yourself when you start feeling a little more down at night, you could play a chill "mind-suck" game. I get really down at night sometimes too and playing some lighthearted but absorbing like Stardew Valley or something can keep me distracted for awhile. Or even do crafts with a show or stream on in the background. I like listening to a stream while cleaning.
so so proud of you! i know it is hard to push yourself to be hopeful and do things that scare you, but seeing this shows that you are making so much progress! like you are going therapy now, trying to surround yourself with positive energy and staying productive! we love you cindy!!
Remeber to tell yourself everyday, that YOU ARE WORTHY! and Wow you are already making SO MUCH progress, you already have it in you, you just need the right tools to use the knowledge, our amazing cindy, I too come from childhood hell of abuse and SA, and I know you too can fight those demons! All my love to you ❤❤
I hope your appointments go well! My sister had to go through three therapists over a few years to find one that worked for her and understood her CPTSD, literally her last therapist before her current was some old man that was doing tarot card readings during their session, SUPER inappropriate because she isn't even spiritual like that. (She laughs looking back on it now though!) Sending you so much love, thanks for keeping us updated, we are all rooting for you!
SO proud of you going to a DBT course! It's hard sometimes, but very enlightening & helpful!!!! xoxo You are getting through, one day at a time!
I have a small coffee maker and it’s perfect just for me. Most days I only make one pot, and that’s plenty, but if I want a cup or two more it’s not an issue brewing another small pot.
Love seeing you taking care of yourself and doing what is needed for you. 😉
I think writing your notes in a notepad sounds great! I have every faith you guys will work this out in the future, Cindy. I know it's hard but I think having this time to yourself might be what you needed too. How lovely would it be to share all the letters you wrote to Andrew when you do get back together in the future.
Here for you. I'm in a rut myself so it's comforting and watching you improve your well-being step by step ♡ Have you considered changing his notification sound so you don't have to worry about if he messaged you when you hear it go off?
I’m sure glad you get to stay with the pets for now. And I’m sure they’re happy too ❤
Love you Cindy! Hope each day gets better
The soaps are so cute 🙂
I am so proud of you Cindy!!! 💖💖
All my love to you, Cindy. I'm so proud of you for starting this journey to healing and I hope it's everything you need it to be. 🤍
Cindy, I'm so glad you took the step to schedule individual therapy. I know from experience that it can be scary, but if you know you need help, it's absolutely the right thing to do! Just remember that you don't need to be ashamed, your therapist won't judge you. Helping you is what they went to school for, and it's what you're paying them for!
Also, I like that you're thinking about going on daily walks. It's definitely a good idea, the exercise and the outside air will be good for you! As well as talking to other people, like your sister, even if it's on the phone. Being alone all the time can make us feel down, even though we don't consciously crave social interaction. Talking to and seeing other people can make us feel better even if we didn't realize beforehand that we needed it!
I hope everything goes well tomorrow!
Cindy, we support you and love you, so you’re never completely alone in this. Sending positive thoughts your way 🕯️ 💜
You are on the right track Cindy. I am sure that the situation will change as soon as possible. We, your community who follow you and love you, will be with you no matter what happens. You are a beautiful and strong woman, who has gone through much worse situations than these. Think that every bad experience is the beginning of something beautiful ❤
we are here for you, cindy
Yes, please go on with your life & move forward. Glad to see you looking & sounding a lot stronger!❤️💜💖💗
One thing I've found really difficult is the mindset shift of wanting to do xyz for your partner and really you should be doing it for yourself. I heard you saying it in the video with cleaning up your home, yes cleaning for if Andrew comes over is a lovely thing to do but it's more important to clean for yourself like you pointed out, cooking and nourishing your body etc. Its similar to dieting, you can't diet and workout for someone else, you do it for yourself and others around you can enjoy the benefits of you being fitter, more energetic etc. If Andrew is there to benefit from these things too that's great but ultimately you're the most consistent thing in your own life. Shifting my own mindset away from doing things for my husband and instead doing them for me has helped massively with my own mental stability when he's not around.
You are an inspiration ✨️