I think Id say something like "I want to see how this date goes and consider of we will do something again! I remember one date, many years ago, as soon as I met him I knew I wasn't going to get romantic with him, but I decided to enjoy the night, I sat back, had a drink, a good chat, put him in a taxi and said goodbye! Maybe that was mean, I think he thought he was getting somewhere. Its been over 2 years since I had a date; I am still healing before I get back out there.
@@SaveTheMessenger Yeah, sorry its been more than 20 years since I had a date. Im still not sure that I want to date. Im not a typical female. That doesn't mean I can't be feminine, quite the contrary. I'm just not a girly girl. They do my head in!
Finally this video opened my eyes why Ismaels Videos sound to crazy and unrelatable to me. For those who read this and know the 4 Sides of the Mind Theory. Basically everything he says in all the videos is targeted at Ni+Se Men and Ne+Si Woman, where the Men are extraverted like ESTP, ESFP, ENTJ, ENFJ and the Women being introverted like ISFJ, ISTJ, INTP or INFP. (no this is not MBTI... MBTI is just a stupid Test) As such if you don't happen to be in exact this exact combination of types, don't try to follow his guide to the letter, you will hurt your self and create wrong expectations which will hurt you.
As an independent woman who is ENFJ his suggestion to let the guy find out where YOUR restroom is or ask HIM to ask a waiter to get you water I find absolutely absurd. If a guy needs a woman who is that needy or dependent he’s definitely not the guy for me! I stayed single and didn’t date much for years because those were the kinds of male-female relationships I saw modeled growing up and I’d rather be single and alone than in that type of relationship. I think it’s time for me to tell UA-cam to stop recommending this channel!
@@trinaroe5132 I get what you are saying even though i don't have that much experience with ENFJs, usually its ENFPs that "adopt" me background INTP. xD But yeah thats exactly what i meant... As soon as the woman is an Se-User and the Men an Si-Users most of the tips fall apart, except if they overwrite their nature and attempt play stupid roles.
The men i am about to meet asked ma a few times why am i alone and what happened with my last boyfriend. And he actually died 😢 i dont know how to tell him this and that is was cancer and horrible experience for me. I didnt tell him via chat because i feel this is to much weight to drop in a stranger. I want to show respect and tell him personally. But this is so much 😢 I am afraid it will repusle him , he will changes his opinion about me , maybe even feel disgusted ? And it is so serious to have this as a memory in a first date …. I appreciate he agreed to wait to hear this in person but I know it leaves room to think I hide something so I know I can’t postpone it. I also want to see his real reaction. Some people act like it’s nothing and don’t even say anything - within time I know people who act like this are sooner or later show their true Colors… meaning they are not emotionally intelligent and emphatetic and actually don’t care abou others. And I don’t want such people in my life
Ismael, you’re the best! Do you have tips on first dates with someone you met on a dating app that you’ve been talking and video chatting daily for about 3 months? There is distance between us, but a plan is in the works to meet in person in a couple months once we get dates scheduled.
Wow. I have been binge watching your videos. All I can say is, "What a mess I have been, no wonder I was no good at attracting good guys. " Very glad to be learning this now though. Thank you for your wisdom. I'm left shaking my head at all the memories. It's a good thing that I'm laughing at it all.
I was thinking what if the guy just keeps insisting on knowing what I want? I have had a date with this guy, I really liked him but I wasn't going to tell him what I wanted just yet. He said all the right things but just kept coming back to asking what I wanted. He made it playful and we laughed and I didn't know how to answer when he wouldn't let it go. What do you think Ismael?
You never have to answer every question a guy asks. Some things are none of his business. Id say, im just want to get to know people and make connections. Keep it light. A date is meant to be fun & easy, not being cross examined for prosecution. Lol Also most men will use it agsinst you. So if he's respectful he wont keep on pressuring you and he'll just enjoy the time he has with you and feel lucky
I would have said, “I want to focus on the present moment and get to know more about you. 🙂” if he kept pressing, that would be a concern that he doesn’t respect boundaries.
I just love your content! So nice to get a man's perspective... I wonder if you have read "Eight Dates, Essential Conversations for Lifetime of Love" by John Gottman, Julie Schwartz Gottman, Doug Abrams and Rachel Carlton Abrams. I just bought a copy, based on a recommendation from elsewhere and am just about to read the first date suggestions.. though, in skimming them, I am thinking you should know this person rather well before you even start dating them. Or date awhile, and then embark on this discovery adventure.
How long is too long between each date? The last time I tried to date, I asked him out first. We had a great time, but over 2 weeks passed and he didn’t plan anything himself, so I just let it fizzle out on its own. I’m not sure if I was wrong for this or not. I put the ball in his court :/
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It means a lot to me to see you want to learn about these topics.
Great tips, especially about not getting physical, this is crucial if you are looking for a comitted relationship!
I think Id say something like "I want to see how this date goes and consider of we will do something again!
I remember one date, many years ago, as soon as I met him I knew I wasn't going to get romantic with him, but I decided to enjoy the night, I sat back, had a drink, a good chat, put him in a taxi and said goodbye! Maybe that was mean, I think he thought he was getting somewhere. Its been over 2 years since I had a date; I am still healing before I get back out there.
Thanks for sharing that story with us.
@@SaveTheMessenger Yeah, sorry its been more than 20 years since I had a date. Im still not sure that I want to date.
Im not a typical female. That doesn't mean I can't be feminine, quite the contrary. I'm just not a girly girl. They do my head in!
Love the tips. Can you go more in debt with how to ask questions on dates. I would love a video on more examples. This video was great!
Amazing! I really learn a lot from you Ismael. Thank you.
Music to my ears. Much appreciated.
You are so right! People (both men and women) will say what they think you want to hear in order to get what they want. So be careful.
So enjoy your short full of education videos ❤ Over thinking has always been a major downfal in my life😢
8 minutes and 8 seconds giving tips is an incredible informative speech. I love it. Thank you.❤❤❤🙏🙏🙏
Don't drink, don't go to his place, or invite him to yours-he'll expect sex. Take money enough for an Uber, so you aren't trapped with a creep.
The right men are hard to find/meet
Let him do the hunting 🎉
Very helpful video ❤ Subscribed!
Todas tus reflexiones muy buenos.
Finally this video opened my eyes why Ismaels Videos sound to crazy and unrelatable to me. For those who read this and know the 4 Sides of the Mind Theory.
Basically everything he says in all the videos is targeted at Ni+Se Men and Ne+Si Woman, where the Men are extraverted like ESTP, ESFP, ENTJ, ENFJ and the Women being introverted like ISFJ, ISTJ, INTP or INFP. (no this is not MBTI... MBTI is just a stupid Test)
As such if you don't happen to be in exact this exact combination of types, don't try to follow his guide to the letter, you will hurt your self and create wrong expectations which will hurt you.
As an independent woman who is ENFJ his suggestion to let the guy find out where YOUR restroom is or ask HIM to ask a waiter to get you water I find absolutely absurd. If a guy needs a woman who is that needy or dependent he’s definitely not the guy for me! I stayed single and didn’t date much for years because those were the kinds of male-female relationships I saw modeled growing up and I’d rather be single and alone than in that type of relationship. I think it’s time for me to tell UA-cam to stop recommending this channel!
@@trinaroe5132 I get what you are saying even though i don't have that much experience with ENFJs, usually its ENFPs that "adopt" me background INTP. xD
But yeah thats exactly what i meant... As soon as the woman is an Se-User and the Men an Si-Users most of the tips fall apart, except if they overwrite their nature and attempt play stupid roles.
The men i am about to meet asked ma a few times why am i alone and what happened with my last boyfriend. And he actually died 😢 i dont know how to tell him this and that is was cancer and horrible experience for me. I didnt tell him via chat because i feel this is to much weight to drop in a stranger. I want to show respect and tell him personally. But this is so much 😢 I am afraid it will repusle him , he will changes his opinion about me , maybe even feel disgusted ? And it is so serious to have this as a memory in a first date …. I appreciate he agreed to wait to hear this in person but I know it leaves room to think I hide something so I know I can’t postpone it. I also want to see his real reaction. Some people act like it’s nothing and don’t even say anything - within time I know people who act like this are sooner or later show their true Colors… meaning they are not emotionally intelligent and emphatetic and actually don’t care abou others. And I don’t want such people in my life
My condolences.
Ismael, you’re the best! Do you have tips on first dates with someone you met on a dating app that you’ve been talking and video chatting daily for about 3 months? There is distance between us, but a plan is in the works to meet in person in a couple months once we get dates scheduled.
I'd say these 7 tips apply to that as well. Meeting in person is like meeting them for the first time in my opinion.
Wow. I have been binge watching your videos. All I can say is, "What a mess I have been, no wonder I was no good at attracting good guys. " Very glad to be learning this now though. Thank you for your wisdom. I'm left shaking my head at all the memories. It's a good thing that I'm laughing at it all.
I'm glad you're being optimistic and laughing about it. I see many women start punishing themselves heavily when they learn some of these things.
Your helping me to be willing to give things a go. A few more tools in my tool belt. Sought them out sooner and not feel guilty. Thanks.
Thanks, very helpful video
I was thinking what if the guy just keeps insisting on knowing what I want? I have had a date with this guy, I really liked him but I wasn't going to tell him what I wanted just yet. He said all the right things but just kept coming back to asking what I wanted. He made it playful and we laughed and I didn't know how to answer when he wouldn't let it go. What do you think Ismael?
You never have to answer every question a guy asks. Some things are none of his business. Id say, im just want to get to know people and make connections. Keep it light. A date is meant to be fun & easy, not being cross examined for prosecution. Lol Also most men will use it agsinst you. So if he's respectful he wont keep on pressuring you and he'll just enjoy the time he has with you and feel lucky
I would have said, “I want to focus on the present moment and get to know more about you. 🙂” if he kept pressing, that would be a concern that he doesn’t respect boundaries.
I might ask him, "Why are you asking" in a light way. And perhaps flip the question back at him. What is it that you want.?
I just love your content! So nice to get a man's perspective... I wonder if you have read "Eight Dates, Essential Conversations for Lifetime of Love" by John Gottman, Julie Schwartz Gottman, Doug Abrams and Rachel Carlton Abrams. I just bought a copy, based on a recommendation from elsewhere and am just about to read the first date suggestions.. though, in skimming them, I am thinking you should know this person rather well before you even start dating them. Or date awhile, and then embark on this discovery adventure.
I love it
Thank you so much.
How long is too long between each date? The last time I tried to date, I asked him out first. We had a great time, but over 2 weeks passed and he didn’t plan anything himself, so I just let it fizzle out on its own. I’m not sure if I was wrong for this or not. I put the ball in his court :/
You are so right 💯
Excellent tips! Very smart 🎉
Glad it was helpful. Thank you.
I love your simple advice. Because I have gone about a 1st date the wrong way...way too many times
Thank you so much for this video, I was not sure about first dates. I'm just thankful for your videos
New subscriber thanx you for your helpful knowledge
Thanks for the video. It was very helpful. Best wishes always!
Thanks❤ for the tips again sir waching from saudi arabia😁
Thank you for all the advice as usual. I love your videos and you give the most clear advice.😊can't wait for your next one.
I'm glad you found my video helpful.
@@SaveTheMessenger I always do☺️thank youuu
Thanks ❤️ great tips 👍 👌🏼 ❤
Unbelievable Interstellar❤
💖
Thank you for these very informative tips! Love your videos!